90’s Film Frenzy: Wicked Round 2

As we wrap up Round 2 of 90’s Film Frenzy let me take this opportunity to hearken back to my childhood in the 70’s & 80’s and say a melancholy Happy Trails to legendary actor Burt Reynolds. For a brief time when I was about ten years old Reynolds was the biggest movie star in the world. At the time I was really into movies like Smokey & The Bandit, Hooper, The Cannonball Run, and The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.  Actually, I suppose I still prefer those kinds of films. Of course Reynolds had meatier roles in stuff like Deliverance and The Longest Yard, and in later years he had sporadic success with Boogie Nights and…well…that was pretty much it. The 21st century hadn’t been particularly kind to him. In the late 80’s he often appeared on a game show that he produced called Win, Lose, or Draw, and in the early 90’s he starred with Marilu Henner, Hal Holbrook, Michael Jeter, Charles Durning, & the sublime Ossie Davis in a delightful yet underrated sitcom called Evening Shade. Throughout the decades Burt Reynolds remained in the pop culture consciousness and made frequent appearances on various chat shows. Even the bad movies he was in…like Striptease and the big screen adaptation of The Dukes of Hazzard…gained some degree of credibility because he was part of the cast. Unlike so many of today’s movie stars Burt Reynolds seemed to simply embrace being a famous actor and didn’t fancy himself an activist or an arbiter of morality for the masses. Oh sure, he went thru a very public & quite bitter divorce from WKRP in Cincinnati actress Loni Anderson in the early 90’s, but those things happen. Nobody’s perfect, right?? At the end of the day I assume that most actors would prefer their legacy to be the work that they did, and in that regard it is undeniable that Burt Reynolds provided us with more than his fair share of treasured entertainment.

If you’d like to go back and check out second round action in the Fly, Phat, & Dope divisions please follow the links and do so at your leisure.

 

 

 

 

 

The Shawshank Redemption

 

Release:    9/23/94

Starring:     Morgan Freeman, Tim Robbins

Directed By:        Frank Darabont (The Green Mile)

 

vs.

 

Doc Hollywood

 

Quotes

Listen doctor, I’ve got a boy here in cardiac crisis. You can’t treat that with Coca-Cola or Bisquick. We’re gonna have to use real medicine this time.

Southern women…well, they require a substantial commitment. You might have to stay here six months.

I suspect your version of romance is whatever will separate me from my panties.

 

Odds & Ends

The movie was filmed in Micanopy, FL, a small town of 650 people just south of Gainesville.

The makers of the Disney/Pixar film Cars have been accused of plagiarizing its plot from Doc Hollywood.

The city thru which Michael J. Fox is driving in the opening credits is Richmond, VA.

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The Shawshank Redemption is based on a 1982 Stephen King novella and might be the finest adaptation of his work to film. In the late 1940’s banker Andy Dufresne is wrongly convicted of the double murder of his wife & her lover. He is sentenced to life in prison and there befriends Red, an older & wiser convict who is able to procure items from the outside for his fellow inmates. Andy spends nearly three decades plotting his escape, battling a corrupt warden and encountering other difficulties along the way. But eventually he does break out of prison in the most ingenious way. Not long after that Red is paroled and makes his way to Mexico to reunite with his friend. The movie was 51st at the box office, behind such greatness as Pauly Shore’s In the Army Now, Major League 2, & Richie Rich starring MacCauley Culkin. In retrospect that is a really poor reflection on the collective taste of the viewing public. The Shawshank Redemption was nominated for seven Academy Awards, including Best Picture and Best Actor (Freeman), but didn’t win any of them (Forrest Gump and Tom Hanks won their respective categories). It holds a stellar 91% score on Rotten Tomatoes. The NY Daily News called it “an engagingly simple, good-hearted film, with just enough darkness around the edges to give contrast and relief to its glowingly benign view of human nature”, and the NY Times said it is “a slow, gentle story of camaraderie and growth, with an ending that abruptly finds poetic justice in what has come before”. Gene Siskel thought it was “simply marvelous entertainment”, while his cohort Roger Ebert opined that it is “a movie about time, patience and loyalty…not sexy qualities perhaps, but they grow on you during the subterranean progress of this story”. Doc Hollywood got past Liar Liar in Round 1 because I like Michael J. Fox more than Jim Carrey, and Julie Warner emerging naked out of a lake is just the cherry on top. In reading reviews of the film one will run across words like predictable, breezy, formulaic, nice, charming, loveable, & heartwarming, which unintentionally combine to damn it with faint praise. As anyone who has gone thru this process with me knows, Doc Hollywood is precisely the sort of mildly entertaining movie that is in my wheelhouse. It is comfort food cinema that doesn’t break new ground, push any envelopes, or try to convey a message. Fox was never a ultra-cool heartthrob on the level of Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Matthew McConaughey, or Johnny Depp, but before Parkinson’s derailed his life & career he had a likeable, boyish charm with just enough of an edge to keep things interesting. He is perfectly cast in this movie, and the rest of the ensemble compliments him well.

The Verdict:       The Shawshank Redemption. Prison movies aren’t normally my thing, but Shawshank isn’t gratuitously violent or depressing, and the performances by Freeman & Robbins are outstanding. It isn’t the kind of lighthearted fare I typically enjoy in vegg mode, but there is something about it compelling enough to have received numerous repeat viewings over the years. Doc Hollywood is a delightful fish-out-of-water story and a solid rom-com, but the competition is just too good.

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Mrs. Doubtfire

 

Release:    11/24/93

Starring:     Robin Williams, Sally Field

Directed By:        Chris Columbus (Home Alone, Only the Lonely, Harry Potter & The Sorcerer’s Stone)

 

vs.

 

That Thing You Do

 

Quotes

Don’t worry…no one’s going to prison, son. It’s a very common tale.

When was the last time you were decently kissed? I mean, truly, truly, good and kissed?

 

Odds & Ends

Tom Hanks was initially opposed to hiring Tom Everett Scott because of Scott’s strong resemblance to a younger Hanks. He was finally convinced by his wife, Rita Wilson, who thought Scott was cute. It was his film debut.

The four actors playing The Wonders rehearsed as a band for eight weeks to get the feel of performing, but most of their performances in the film were dubbed by other musicians.

The bass player played by Ethan Embry is never explicitly named. All references to him in the film are as, “the bass player”, and in the credits he is listed as “T.B. Player”.

Adam Schlesinger, the bassist of Fountains of Wayne, penned the title song in response to a contest being held by the studio.

The guys are shown drinking Koehler Beer, which was a real brand produced by the Erie Brewing Company on State Street in Erie, PA.

The state fair entertainment circuit of the mid-60s actually existed until the mid-80s. Fair managers would work together on routing and negotiate lowered performers’ fees as a group.

While trying to decide on a name for the band, the names glimpsed in Jimmy’s notebook are: The Dollars, The Lords of Erie, The Pistunes, The Thorns, The Mozarts, The Echoes, The Ticks, The Didoctics, and The Flannels.

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In 1993 Robin Williams was several years past career defining roles in Good Morning Vietnam and Dead Poets Society, both of which had gotten him Oscar nominations. He had done a couple of good movies…Awakenings in 1990 and Aladdin in 1992…but had also been in films like The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Cadillac Man, Shakes the Clown, & Hook that hadn’t really…made an impact. But then came this little gem, a dramedy about a divorced father who goes to the extreme of dressing as an elderly British nanny to spend time with his three children. It was the second highest grossing film of the year, behind only Jurassic Park, and holds a solid 71% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Variety called it “overly sappy in places and probably 20 minutes too long”, but also said that it is “a slick surface for Williams’ shtick, within a story possessing broad family appeal”. Newsweek said that “I’ve rarely laughed so much at a movie I generally disliked”, which is an odd comment to say the least. Ebert was underwhelmed, opining that “the film is not as amusing as the premise”. Entertainment Weekly thought that “Williams outclasses the movie”, which seems to be the general consensus…Williams is brilliant, but the movie itself is just okay. That Thing You Do got past Backdraft in Round 1 in a battle of opposites…likeable dramedy versus an effects laden action drama. What has always fascinated me about That Thing You Do is its tone. We all know that one hit wonders are a real thing. We know that bands break up all the time. Egos. Jealousy. Greed. Pride. Differing visions and a mix of personalities. There are dozens of things that can contribute to a group’s implosion. This movie could have easily become a thoughtful, profound, sober examination of such situations, and I have no doubt that all involved would have pulled it off. But instead Hanks, in his role as screenwriter & director, decided to keep things cheerful & fun, and I think it works.

The Verdict:       Mrs. Doubtfire. Another Hanks vs. Williams contest, and this time Williams comes out on top. I actually think That Thing You Do might have benefitted from more onscreen time for Hanks, but instead he has a supporting role and the focus is on the band. I love the movie’s theme song, and if The Oneders were a real pop/rock group I’d probably like their music a lot. Having said that, Mrs. Doubtfire is just too good to ignore. I understand the perspective of the critics’…Williams’ performance stands out more than the movie as a whole. I don’t disagree. But for now that’s more than enough.

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Scent of a Woman

 

Release:    12/23/92

Starring:     Al Pacino, Chris O’Donnell

Directed By:        Martin Brest (Beverly Hills Cop, Meet Joe Black, Gigli)

 

vs.

 

The Blair Witch Project

 

Quotes

 

I just want to apologize to Josh’s mom, and Mike’s mom, and my mom. I am so sorry! Because it was my fault. I was the one who brought them here. I was the one that said “keep going south”. I was the one who said that we were not lost. It was my fault, because it was my project. Everything had to be my way. And this is where we’ve ended up and it’s all because of me that we’re here now – hungry, cold, and hunted.

Okay, here’s your motivation. You’re lost, you’re angry in the woods, and no one is here to help you. There’s a witch, and she keeps leaving shit outside your door. There’s no one here to help you! She left little trinkets, you took one of them, she ran after us. There’s no one here to help you! We walked for 15 hours today, we ended up in the same place! There’s no one here to help you, that’s your motivation! That’s your motivation!

 

Odds & Ends

This film was in the Guinness Book of World Records for “Top Budget: Box Office Ratio” (for a mainstream feature film). The film cost $60,000 to make and made back $248 million, a ratio of $1 spent for every $10,931 made.

Heather Donahue’s mother received sympathy cards from people who believed that her daughter was actually dead or missing.

To promote discord between actors the directors deliberately gave them less food each day of shooting.

In a scene where the main actors are sleeping in a tent at night, the tent suddenly shakes violently and they all get scared. This was unscripted and the director shook the tent. The actors actually were scared.

One of the video cameras used by the actors was bought at Circuit City. After filming was completed, the producers returned the camera for a refund, making their budget money go even further.

Numerous fans were so convinced of the Blair Witch’s existence that they flocked to Maryland in hopes of discovering the legend.

The actors were requested to interview the townspeople, who often, unbeknownst to the actors, were planted by the directors. As a result, the expressions on the actors’ faces were unrehearsed.

The Blair Witch was supposed to be seen in the movie. As the characters were running out of their tent, Heather yells, “Oh my God, what the f*** is that? What the f*** is that?”, the cameraman was supposed to pan to the left where the audience would briefly see a woman wearing a white gown in the distance. But the cameraman forgot to pan to the left and the scene was not reshot.

Before the film was released, the three main actors were listed as “missing, presumed dead” on IMDB.

The 1999-2000 hunting season suffered badly due to this film. The movie was so popular that fans all over the country were hiking into the wilderness to shoot their own Blair Witch-style documentaries. As a result, they kept most of the wildlife scared away from hunting areas.

The “F” is used word 154 times.

One of the first theatrical features to make use of a large-scale viral marketing, which claimed that the three main characters had really gone on a trip to shoot a documentary and were never found again, save for their video camera and the footage they shot. A website was posted on the Internet one year prior to the release to set up the premise of the documentary, complete with detailed reports of the search, the recovery of the trio’s footage within an old cabin, reactions from their families, and expert opinions. The three actors were instructed to refrain from making public appearances. The myth wasn’t debunked until after the movie’s premiere.

Held the record for the highest-grossing independent movie of all time until October 2002, when it was surpassed by My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

_________________________

 

Speaking of great performances that are more memorable than the movie itself…

With all due respect to Chris O’Donnell, Al Pacino almost singlehandedly carries Scent of a Woman, in which he portrays a retired blind Army Ranger who persuades his young caregiver to accompany him on one last adventure before he kills himself. Thankfully it’s not as depressing as it sounds. Lt. Col. Frank Slade is a cynical alcoholic who lives with his niece & her family in New Hampshire. Charlie Simms is a smart but financially challenged student at a nearby prep school. Charlie needs to make some money to afford a trip home to Oregon for Christmas, while Col. Slade’s family is headed out of town for Thanksgiving and isn’t taking him with them. Charlie accepts a job essentially babysitting Col. Slade for a few days, but he gets much more than he bargained for. There is a weak subplot about Charlie possibly getting in trouble over some prank that he witnessed at school, but make no mistake…Scent of a Woman is all about Col. Slade and Pacino’s scene chewing performance. In the hands of any other actor Col. Slade might simply be a bombastic, pitiful, angry windbag, but instead there is nuance & character development. The movie received multiple Academy Award nominations, including Best Picture (which it lost to Unforgiven), Best Director, and Best Adapted Screenplay, but the one it took home was Pacino’s first Oscar for Best Actor. He had been nominated on seven previous occasions (for performances in The Godfather & The Godfather Part II, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon, And Justice For All, Dick Tracy, and Glengarry Glen Ross). Scent of a Woman was the 19th highest grossing film of 1992 and holds an 88% score on Rotten Tomatoes. Ebert thought the movie was a bit formulaic & predictable, but also said that “rarely have we been taken there with so much intelligence and skill”. The Washington Post complimented “a great performance from Pacino” and the “mostly wonderful, edgy script”. The NY Times praised the filmmakers for “turning a relatively contrived situation into a terrific showcase for Mr. Pacino’s talents”. There is a considerable amount of reproach for the film’s 2 ½ hour length, but I don’t mind that a bit if the story is really good. Blair Witch got past A Time to Kill in Round 1 because I feel like the book is better than the movie, and because Blair Witch is such a unique film, both the movie itself and the promotional campaign that made it a surprise hit. So much of what is commonplace today…viral marketing, “reality” entertainment, documentary style horror films…was unique & avant-garde two decades ago. I’m not a horror movie guy, but even I know that The Blair Witch Project helped revolutionize what had become a stale genre. Knowing what we know now and with social media & The Internet being such a big part of daily life, it is difficult to imagine anyone being able to pull off what the powers-that-be did with this film. A sequel was produced just a year later, and while it turned a tidy profit it didn’t come close to having the impact on pop culture as the original.

The Verdict:       Scent of a Woman. Simply put, I like Pacino a lot more than I like horror movies. I watched Blair Witch once when it first came out on home video, but it’s seldom shown on TV and chances are I’d keep right on channel surfing if it was on somewhere. Conversely, Pacino is a magnet that draws one into Scent of a Woman, and it would be rare if I didn’t stop and watch when the opportunity arose.

 

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The Lion King

 

Release:    6/15/94

Starring:              Matthew Broderick, James Earl Jones, Jonathan Taylor Thomas

Directed By:            Roger Allers & Rob Minkoff (Stuart Little)

 

vs.

 

Lethal Weapon 4

 

Quotes

Oh, I’m a perp? Oh, you see a young brother in the back of a police car, automatically I’m a perp?! Look at my suit! Look at my tie! What do I look like, a fuckin’ Crip’s accountant?! Look at this badge, bitch! Check out the gun!

Your baby is having my baby!

You have the right to remain silent, so shut the fuck up! Okay!? You have the right to an attorney! If you can’t afford an attorney, we’ll provide you with the dumbest fuckin’ lawyer on Earth! But if you get Johnnie Cochran, I’ll kill ya!

Stop turning everything around! You’re so damn touchy! These guys’ll tell ya, we work together, we got a history together! Hey, maybe we’ll work together someday! I’m the bomb, they’ll tell ya, I’m great!

 

Odds & Ends

Not only was this Jet Li’s first American-produced movie, it was also the first time he’d ever played a villain (Jackie Chan turned it down the role because he chooses never to play the villain in a movie). Director Richard Donner had to ask Li to slow down during action sequences because he was moving faster than the camera shutter speed and it wasn’t registering on film.

Riggs’ trailer is in the same place that Jim Rockford’s trailer was during the majority of The Rockford Files’ run.

Murtaugh’s boat is named Code 7, which is the LAPD radio code for a lunch break.

___________________________

 

Okay, confession time. While writing this project (as well as previous things like 80’s Movie Mania and Merry Movie Mayhem) I oftentimes rely on my memory and prior viewings of a movie when opining. Most of the time this hasn’t been an issue because chances are good that I have watched the film fairly recently. After all, repeat viewings are a major element for me, right?? On the rare occasions that my recall is a bit fuzzy it usually isn’t an issue to stream a movie since I’m a night owl, late night TV has lost its luster for me, and my work schedule isn’t too oppressive. However, I have not watched The Lion King in several years and it is not available to rent anywhere on my Roku. Since I am unwilling to pay $15 to buy it I am left with a conundrum. I know that Disney can be a bit weird about such matters, occasionally putting a film in their vault and making it generally unavailable to the public for a number of years. I also realize that they will be launching their own streaming service in 2019 and that a “3D virtual reality” remake of The Lion King directed by Jon Favreau will hit theaters next summer. So, despite its impressive pedigree I have to strike down The Lion King from this competition due to its…inaccessibility. Way to go Disney.

The Verdict:       Lethal Weapon 4. I suppose winning by default is still winning, right??

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Deep Impact

 

Release:    5/8/98

Starring:     Morgan Freeman, Robert Duvall, Téa Leoni

Directed By:        Mimi Leder (The Peacemaker)

 

vs.

 

October Sky

 

Quotes

My life’s work is teaching. And I believed that if you boys won that science fair, got scholarships, went off and did something great with your lives, somehow my life would have counted for something. You know what? Sometimes you really can’t listen to what anybody else says. You just gotta listen inside. You’re not supposed to end up in those mines. You know why? ‘Cause I think you made other plans. I want you to know something. I’m proud of you.

If I win at Indianapolis, maybe I can go to college, maybe even get a job at Cape Canaveral! There’s nothing here for me! The town is dying, even the mine is dying. Everybody knows that but you!

Homer once said you love the mine more than your own family. I stuck up for you because I didn’t want to believe it. Homer has gotten a lot of help from the people in this town. They’ve helped him build his rockets. They’ve watched him fly ’em. But not you, John. You never showed up, not even once. I’m not asking you to believe in it, but he’s your son, for God’s sake!

 

Odds & Ends

The location of the slag dump where the Rocket Boys actually tested their rockets still exists. It is now a large grassy field. It is located in the actual town of Coalwood, WV. The town of Coalwood celebrated the Rocket Boys with the October Sky Festival, but by 2012 the town had lost so many residents that the event was moved to Beckley, WV due to the lack of able-bodied volunteers remaining in Coalwood.

The boys rarely tested a single rocket per day. They often manufactured several rockets and tested them in sequence. The rocket that hit Homer’s father’s office during their early testing, when they were launching rockets near the mine, was actually the last rocket of several they launched that day.

Homer H. Hickam Jr. helped design and build the cannon that is used during the Virginia Tech Hokie football games.

Much of the filming took place in Petros, TN, which is a tiny little town just outside of Oak Ridge, TN. Oak Ridge is known as The Secret City because it was built specifically to help develop nuclear weaponry during WWII. It is home to the Y-12 nuclear plant, still active today.

 

____________________

You will recall that in 1998 two movies about an asteroid heading toward Earth were in theaters just months apart from one another. Armageddon made it to the second round in the Phat Division before being eliminated, but I’ve always thought Deep Impact is a better film. There are a few subplots, including a young MSNBC reporter who stumbles upon the story about the asteroid and who must repair relationships with her estranged parents before the world ends. As with Armageddon there is a crew sent up in a space shuttle in an effort to destroy the asteroid, but this crew is far different. The conflicts and storylines are much more cerebral & emotional, and the action toned down a bit, though there are still plenty of explosions and lots of destruction. The cast isn’t nearly as cool as that other movie, but whenever you have Morgan Freeman as the President of the United States that’s pretty awesome, and young star Elijah Wood would go on just a few years later to portray Frodo Baggins in The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Deep Impact was the 8th highest grossing film of 1998 but has a subpar 45% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. People Magazine opined that it is “neither deep nor impactful”, but said that it “goes well with popcorn”. The Washington Post called it a “lightweight melodrama” that presents “lackluster imitations of real life”. Variety thought it was “spectacular enough in its cataclysmic scenes of the planet being devastated by an unstoppable fireball”, but “far from thrilling in the down time spent with a largely dull assortment of troubled human beings”. October Sky upset Oscar nominated Four Weddings & a Funeral in Round 1 because that’s how I roll. I am probably a little bit biased toward movies about and/or filmed in West Virginia. We tend not to have as many famous faces or outright heroes that hail from our humble state, so we warmly embrace the handful of folks that have made us proud. Homer Hickam surely deserves that kind of respect, and his story is effectively told. Chris Cooper might be one of Hollywood’s most underrated actors, and his portrayal of Hickam’s father really rings true to the kind of quiet pride, dogged work ethic, & unspoken melancholy that I’ve witnessed in so many Appalachian men.

The Verdict:       Deep Impact. This is a tough call. Despite what most of the critics say I really like Deep Impact. The casting director may have dropped the ball (with the aforementioned Freeman as a notable exception obviously), but I have to give credit to a screenplay that tries to focus on the humanity as much as the special effects. Both of these films are kind of a downer (despite happy endings), but I think Deep Impact is just more entertaining.

 

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Wayne’s World

 

Release:    2/14/92

Starring:     Mike Myers, Dana Carvey

Directed By:        Penelope Spheeris (Black Sheep)

 

vs.

 

The Big Lebowski

 

Quotes

Look, let me explain something to you. I’m not Mr. Lebowski. You’re Mr. Lebowski. I’m The Dude. So that’s what you call me. That, or His Dudeness … Duder … or El Duderino, if, you know, you’re not into the whole brevity thing.

This is a very complicated case, Maude. You know, a lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-you’s. Alotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder’s head. Luckily I’m adhering to a pretty strict drug regimen to keep my mind, you know, limber.

Well, sir, it’s this rug I had. It really tied the room together.

Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don’t work, I don’t drive a car, I don’t ride in a car, I don’t handle money, I don’t turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don’t roll!

Nihilists! I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.

You want a toe? I can get you a toe. Believe me. There are ways, Dude…you don’t wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3:00 this afternoon, with nail polish.

The Dude abides.

Lady, I got buddies who died face-down in the muck so that you & I could enjoy this family restaurant!

Forget it, Donny, you’re out of your element!

The Chinaman is not the issue here, Dude! I’m talking about drawing a line in the sand! Also, Dude, “Chinaman” is not the preferred nomenclature. “Asian-American,” please.

Smokey, this is not ‘Nam. This is bowling. There are rules!

Were you listening to The Dude’s story, Donny?

Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.

 

Odds & Ends

In an early draft of the script, The Dude’s source of income was revealed. He was an heir to the inventor of the Rubik’s Cube, which would have also made him Hungarian in turn. It was Joel Coen’s idea to drop this plot point.

Jeff Bridges met with the Coen Brothers after reading the script and asked them “Did you guys hang out with me in high school?” referring to The Dude’s easygoing surfer persona.

The Dude tells Maude he was a roadie for Metallica on their (fictional) “Speed of Sound” tour and refers to the band members as a “bunch of assholes”. Metallica themselves were flattered to be referred to in a Coen Brothers movie, with guitarist Kirk Hammett once noting in an interview that they’d tried to think of a way to incorporate that scene into their live shows.

The Dude’s line, “The Dude abides”, is a reference to Ecclesiastes 1:4: “one generation passes away, and another generation comes: but the Earth abides forever.” It is a reference to how the Dude, much like the Earth, can weather change and chaos around him, but still remain the same.

Glenn Frey was reportedly so dismayed about The Dude’s hatred of The Eagles in the movie that he once angrily confronted Jeff Bridges when they met at a party.

White Russian: two parts vodka, one part Kahlúa, and one part cream. Served with ice in a low ball glass.

The “F” word or a variation of it is used 292 times. The word “dude” is used 160 times.

The man shown bowling in the picture on The Dude’s wall is President Richard Nixon. Nixon was an avid bowler, and the photo is a well-publicized shot of Nixon in the bowling alley underneath the White House.

 

________________

Films based on Saturday Night Live characters & sketches don’t have the best track record…to say the least. The Blues Brothers (winners of 80’s Movie Mania) is the gold standard, but then you have stuff like Coneheads, A Night at the Roxbury, & The Ladies’ Man that are total bombs. Turning a ten minute skit featuring only a character or two or three, one set, & a narrowly focused scenario into a two hour big screen motion picture with an actual plot and everything that goes with it can’t be easy, and the old saying that “a little goes a long way” oftentimes holds true. Having said that, Wayne’s World…unlike so many of its counterparts…actually does achieve success on a Blues Brothers level. We know from SNL that Wayne Campbell & Garth Algar are young adults who host a public access TV show filmed in the basement of Wayne’s parents’ house in Aurora, IL. Wayne & Garth are total nerds trying desperately to be cool, and the movie finds them selling their show to a production company headed by a sleazeball portrayed by Rob Lowe. Wayne also falls for a hot female singer and has an on again/off again relationship with her. The ending is kind of odd, but the movie is solidly entertaining, and it finished 1992 as the 8th highest grossing film, sandwiched between The Bodyguard & Basic Instinct (schhhwiinngg!!). Rotten Tomatoes gives Wayne’s World a rating of 86%, with Empire Magazine calling it “a classic comedy of its time”, Entertainment Weekly complimenting its “pleasing daftness”, and Ebert saying that it “works on its intended level and then sneaks in excursions to some other levels, too”. The Big Lebowski easily got past Ten Things I Hate About You in Round 1 and has a solid 82% score on Rotten Tomatoes. Since it is the quintessential cult film I thought it might be fun to venture off the beaten path and look at some audience reviews instead of what the critics had to say. “Eugene” says that it’s “a simple story that requires no over-analyzing to delve into its narrative and concept” and calls it an “effective, humorous and overall a wacky classic”. “Julie”  observes that The Dude’s “sole purpose in life is to laze around in his room smoking pot or go bowling with his strange friends” and calls the movie “a bizarre, offbeat tale of mistaken identity & revenge”. “Kevin” credits Bridges for “the most notable role in his career” and thinks Goodman is hilarious, but feels like Buscemi is “was kind of just there” and Julianne Moore in a small role “has been much better in almost everything else”. “Demesa” says that The Big Lebowski “will make any bad day go away…the crafty, nonsensical-ness of the plot is perfect and the cinematography is beautiful”, while “Aaron” praises it for being “without a doubt one of the most clever and funniest movies that I’ve ever watched in my life”.

The Verdict:       The Big Lebowski. This is a tough call because I do feel like Wayne’s World is a great 90’s snapshot and really captures the essence of an era. However, for those of us that still slip in the occasional “We’re not worthy!!”, “Not!”, “Party on!”, or “Are you mental?” into casual conversation I think we owe that space carved out in the pop culture retention area of our brain to the SNL sketches as much as or more than the movie. Conversely, The Big Lebowski is like that acquaintance we had in grade school but barely paid attention to, then one day they become our best friend, and eventually we fall madly in love & realize our soulmate has been standing right in front of us for decades. From barely being a blip on the cinematic radar two decades ago it has steadily grown into something that multiple generations embrace & enjoy repeatedly.

 

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Tommy Boy

 

Release:    3/31/95

Starring:     Chris Farley, David Spade

Directed By:        Peter Segal (Anger Management, 50 First Dates)

 

vs.

 

Glengarry Glen Ross

 

Quotes

 

You ever take a dump that made you feel you’d just slept for twelve hours?

Put that coffee down! Coffee’s for closers only. I’m here from downtown. I’m here from Mitch and Murray. And I’m here on a mission of mercy.

All of you’ve got just one week to regain your jobs starting with tonight. Starting with tonight’s sit. Oh…have I got your attention now? Good. ‘Cause we’re adding a little something to this month’s sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anyone wanna see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired. Get the picture? You laughing now?

You drove a Hyundai to get here. I drove an $80 thousand BMW. That’s my name!

Only one thing counts in this life: Get them to sign on the line which is dotted. You hear me, you fucking faggots? A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always. Be. Closing.

A guy don’t walk on the lot lest he wants to buy. They’re sitting out there waiting to give you their money. Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? What’s the problem, pal?

That watch costs more than your car. I made $970,000 last year. How much did you make? You see, pal, that’s who I am, and you’re nothing. Nice guy? I don’t give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here – close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can’t take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don’t like it, leave. I can go out there tonight with the materials you’ve got and make myself $15,000. Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Go and do likewise. Get mad you son of a bitches! You want to know what it takes to sell real estate? It takes brass balls to sell real estate. Go and do likewise, gents. Money’s out there. You pick it up, it’s yours. You don’t, I got no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those sits tonight and close…CLOSE. It’s yours. If not, you’re gonna be shining my shoes. And you know what you’ll be saying – a bunch of losers sittin’ around in a bar. ‘Oh yeah. I used to be a salesman. It’s a tough racket.’ These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you they’re gold, and you don’t get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They’re for closers. I’d wish you good luck but you wouldn’t know what to do with it if you got it. And to answer your question, pal, why am I here? I came here because Mitch and Murray asked me to. They asked me for a favor. I said the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fucking ass, because a loser is a loser.

You can’t think on your feet, you oughta keep your mouth closed.

I subscribe to the law of contrary public opinion. If everyone thinks one thing, then I say bet the other way.

If you tell me where the leads are, I won’t turn you in. If you don’t, I am going to tell the cop you stole them. Mitch and Murray will see that you go to jail. Believe me, they will. Now, what did you do with the leads? I’m walking in that door. You have five seconds to tell me, or you are going to jail.

When you die you’re going to regret the things you don’t do. You think you’re queer? I’m going to tell you something: we’re all queer. You think you’re a thief? So what? You get befuddled by a middle-class morality? Shut it out. You cheat on your wife? You did it, live with it. There’s an absolute morality? Maybe. And then what? If you think there is, go ahead, be that thing. Bad people go to hell? I don’t think so. If you think that, act that way. A hell exists on earth? Yes. I won’t live in it. That’s me.

So I wasn’t cut out to be a thief. I was cut out to be a salesman. And now I’m back.

 

Odds & Ends

The single largest cost of production was for the rain effects throughout the first half of the film.

Jack Lemmon said the cast was the greatest acting ensemble he had ever been part of.

David Mamet’s screenplay considerably expanded his script for the play, providing more context for the pressure placed on the salesmen. Notably, Alec Baldwin’s introductory speech was added as well as Jack Lemmon’s phone calls to clients and the hospital, plus his sales call to the man with the fishing rod. Many consider the screenplay to be superior to the text for his Pultizer-winning stage play. The film version is often transcribed to stage now.

The “F” word & its derivatives are uttered 138 times.

The title refers to Glengarry Highlands and Glen Ross Farms, two properties mentioned in the movie.

David Mamet based his original play on his own experience working in a real estate office in the 1970s when he was a struggling playwright. He was the office manager who gave out sales leads and handled the paperwork.

____________________

 

Tommy Boy isn’t a Saturday Night Live film per se, but it may as well be since its two stars…Farley & Spade…were two of the biggest contributors to that television show’s success in the early 90’s. Farley was ostensibly fired from SNL (along with Adam Sandler) in 1995, while Spade stuck around for one more season and was still appearing on TV when this movie premiered. Tommy Callahan is the inept, socially awkward, accident prone son of Big Tom, the owner of an auto parts company in Ohio. When Big Tom dies unexpectedly at his wedding reception it’s up to Tommy and his buddy Richard to save the company from being sold by the new stepmother & stepbrother, who aren’t what they seem. Tommy Boy is a classic buddy/road film and is the perfect showcase for Farley’s distinctive frenetic humor balanced with Spade’s droll wit.  It was the 54th highest grossing film of 1995, behind stalwarts like Judge Dredd, Man of the House, & The Brady Bunch Movie, and holds a feeble 43% score on Rotten Tomatoes. Ebert called it “an assembly of cliches and obligatory scenes from dozens of other movies”. The Washington Post calculated that “as an SNL sketch it would have been a tour de force” but didn’t like the movie. Entertainment Weekly called Farley “a mastodon in a china shop” and said the movie “by any reasonable standard…is stupid, disreputable junk” and left the reviewer “wishing I’d never have to see anything quite like it again”. In Round 1 Glengarry Glen Ross easily beat Bruce Willis’ Striking Distance, a movie I like…but not THAT much. My observation about Glengarry Glen Ross was that “the plot is secondary to the performances”, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. It isn’t unheard of for a great performance to carry an otherwise average story to new heights. That’s why these actors get paid the big bucks, and a few of them actually deserve it. To have half a dozen bona fide legends at the top of their game in the same movie is almost unheard of, and I can’t imagine that any of those guys did this project for the money. Having said all that, here is the issue. When one watches Glengarry Glen Ross are you watching the movie…or are you watching Pacino, Baldwin, Spacey, Harris, Lemmon, & Arkin?? If someone asked you the plot of the film or the names of any of the characters would you have the right answers?? Most people can probably quote the biggest part of Baldwin’s cameo at the beginning, but can you remember what happens afterward?? I feel like these are legitimate questions and I’m not sure the answer reflects well on the film.

 

The Verdict:       Tommy Boy. I do my best not to be repetitive, but once again the scenario that runs thru my mind is me laying around on a lazy, rainy day vegging out and watching movies. Which of these films would I watch?? I think there is a distinct possibility that I would begin watching Glengarry Glen Ross with the best of intentions, but after Baldwin’s memorable scene I might be inclined to change the channel to Tommy Boy, and once I was there I don’t think I’d switch back. Some might see that as a damning indictment of my taste in movies, and they might be right, but I am not a film critic. I’m not trying to impress anybody with my first-rate intellect. I’m just a guy who enjoys watching movies, laughing, & having a good time. Your mileage may vary and that’s okay.

 

************************

The Truman Show

 

Release:    6/5/98

Starring:     Jim Carrey, Ed Harris

Directed By:        Peter Weir (Witness, Master & Commander)

 

vs.

 

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

 

Release:    12/6/91

Starring:              William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, Walter Koenig, Nichelle Nichols

Directed By:        Nicholas Meyer (The Day After)

 

vs.

 

Ghost

 

Quotes

He’s stuck, that’s what it is. He’s in between worlds. You know it happens sometimes that the spirit gets yanked out so fast that the essence still feels it has work to do here.

It’s all in your mind. The problem with you is that you still think you’re real. You think you’re wearing those clothes? You think you’re crouched on that floor? Bullshit! You ain’t got a body no more, son!

Listen, damn it. You are going to help me. There’s a woman. Her name is Molly Jensen and she’s in terrible danger. The man who killed me broke into our apartment and he’s gonna go back. So you’ve gotta warn her.

I know you don’t think I’m giving this $4 million to a bunch of nuns!

 

Odds & Ends

The role of Oda Mae Brown was not written with Whoopi Goldberg in mind, but Patrick Swayze…an admirer of hers…convinced the producers that she would be right for the part.

The film’s premise is expanded from an old urban legend dealing with a spirit of a recently deceased trying to warn their loved one of an imminent danger.

Patrick Swayze said that the pottery scene was the sexiest thing he had ever done on film.

Molly tells Sam that he “leads a charmed life”. This is a line from William Shakespeare’s Macbeth. Macbeth also claims to lead a charmed life, meaning he cannot be killed. Immediately after making this claim, however, he is killed. Sam is killed after seeing a production of Macbeth.

Patrick Swayze and Vincent Schiavelli, who played the subway ghost, both died of cancer at the age of 57.

__________________________

 

Our final triple threat match pits a beloved sci-fi franchise against two singular dramedies.  The Truman Show was Jim Carrey’s attempt at proving he could actually be a great actor after being known mostly as a clown in movies like Ace Ventura, The Mask, Dumb & Dumber, and Liar Liar. He mostly plays it straight as Truman Burbank, a thirty year old man who has unwittingly been the star of his own television show for his entire life. Everything in his “world” is phony…the quaint little town he lives in, the weather, his parents, all of his friends & colleagues…even his wife. The whole thing is the brain child of a God-like TV producer named Christof, who controls every aspect of the show, which has aired worldwide 24/7/365 for three decades. But all bets are off when Truman begins to figure out the truth. The Truman Show was the 12th highest grossing film of 1998, ahead of Enemy of the State & Shakespeare in Love (which would win the Academy Award for Best Picture), but behind Rush Hour & Godzilla. It holds a 94% score on Rotten Tomatoes and was nominated for three Oscars…Best Director (Weir, who lost to Spielberg for Saving Private Ryan), Best Adapted Screenplay, and Best Supporting Actor (Harris, who lost to James Coburn for his performance in Affliction). It wasn’t nominated for Best Picture and Carrey didn’t get a nomination for Best Actor (won by Roberto Benigni for his performance in Life is Beautiful), which in hindsight both feel like huge oversights. That was a really weird year for the Academy Awards. The NY Daily News thought the film’s premise “both reasonable and ludicrous”, but called “its execution sublime”. Rolling Stone said that it is “a near-miraculous balance of humor and feeling”. The Chicago Tribune thought it “a satire/comedy/fantasy about the future of television and the people caught in its omnipresent electronic net…a supremely intelligent jest”. The Cincinnati Enquirer said that it is “funny, moving, imaginative, and wickedly smart about the addictive power of comfy illusion”. Ghost got past the overly angst-ridden & quite tedious Reality Bites in the first round. It is the rare kind of film that is appreciated by audiences and critics alike, making a ton of money at the box office while also collecting well-deserved awards. Swayze passed away in 2009, and I can’t help but wonder how many entertaining movies we’ve been deprived of in his absence because when one looks at his filmography there is no shortage of awesomeness…The Outsiders, Red Dawn, Dirty Dancing…spanning three decades, I have to assume he would have made more good films if he’d have lived. The Undiscovered Country is the sixth & final movie featuring the cast of the original Star Trek television series. I was a bit late to the Trek party, largely because I hadn’t been born yet when the TV show aired in the 1960’s. However, the six films produced between 1979 & 1991 led to my appreciation of the franchise. The movies are admittedly hit & miss, but The Undiscovered Country is unanimously praised as one of the highlights. With The Federation and The Klingons on the verge of signing a peace treaty Captain Kirk & Dr. McCoy are set up to take the fall for the assassination of the Klingon Chancellor and find themselves imprisoned. Of course Kirk is pretty difficult to defeat, so he eventually gets at the truth and saves the day. The movie has a Rotten Tomatoes score of 83% and was the 15th highest grossing film of the year. The Hollywood Reporter observed that “the production has a dark, atmospheric sheen that persistently suggest mystery and danger” and said that it is “not the best of the series, but a suitable farewell”. The NY Times credited the cast for “enthusiasm for their material that has never seemed to fade…if anything, that enthusiasm grows more appealingly nutty with time”. The Washington Post thought that the crew “couldn’t have made a more felicitous or more satisfying exit”.

The Verdict:       The Truman Show. I wish that I could push all three contenders thru to the next round, but that’d be a bit much. As much as I love Trek it’s hard to single out The Undiscovered Country for praise when I think that both Wrath of Khan & The Voyage Home were superior films. That’s the thing about long lasting film series…the whole stands above the individual parts. Ghost is a fine film. Swayze was an underrated actor whose talent is more apparent in hindsight that it was in the moment. Demi Moore has rarely been more enchanting. Even Whoopi Goldberg…who has sadly become an insane political hack in recent years…proved herself a talented actress. The only mark against Ghost is lack of repeat viewings. It hasn’t been a movie that I become giddy to see as I’m channel surfing on a cold & lonely night. The premise of The Truman Show was almost prophetic. I can totally see a show like that capturing the world’s attention now. I’m not a fan of reality television at all, mostly because I know there’s nothing real about it and I am almost offended by people like the Kardashians, the Chrisleys, and the idiots on The Bachelor becoming famous for no legitimate reason. But what if the star of the show didn’t realize they were a star??

80’s Movie Mania: Gnarly Round 3

So let’s clean up some leftovers from the last installment, the Tubular Division’s Round 3. I posted a couple of polls, but unfortunately I am still not getting any response. Not poor response. Not underwhelming response. Not disappointing response. ZERO response. HEEEELLLLOOOO…Manoverse…are you there?!?!?!?? I allegedly have a couple hundred followers. Does ANYONE read this stuff?? I would really like to know. At any rate, I am now forced to make a couple of extremely tough decisions. I am giving When Harry Met Sally the victory over WarGames. It’s a purely personal preference for one of the preeminent rom-coms of all time, with a charming cast and a fun story. Also, I am awarding Dirty Dancing the win over Lethal Weapon. Dirty Dancing is one of the time capsule movies of the 1980’s. Meanwhile, Lethal Weapon had a few sequels that maybe didn’t match the originality of the first film, but they certainly came very close in quality. This is a franchise that we liked better with each passing film because of the comfort level we had with the characters. I’m definitely splitting hairs, but unfortunately that is the task being forced upon me. Anyway, let’s move on to the Gnarly Division. Enjoy.

 

 

 

Gnarly 3

 

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan    vs.     The Outsiders

khanAllow me to reiterate my philosophy about something. You are not seeing trilogies in this competition. Specifically you aren’t seeing the Back to the Future trilogy oroutsiders the Star Wars trilogy. In both cases two of three films were produced in the 1980’s. However, it is my belief that trilogies need to be looked at as one unique entity. Sure one can break each film down individually, but essentially the whole is greater than each single entry. Conversely, when a film series evolves into four or more parts then all bets are off. There were six Star Trek films made with the original cast from 1979-1991. Of the four films made in the 1980’s two appear in this competition. 1982’s Wrath of Khan is considered by most Trekkies to be the best of the bunch. It is based on a 1967 episode of TOS called Space Seed, in which Khan Noonien Singh, a product of 20th century genetic engineering that is discovered after 200 years in suspended animation and  banished to a faraway planet after trying to hijack the Enterprise. In this film Khan escapes from that planet and is hellbent on revenge. He also seeks to gain control of a terraforming device capable of creating new planets. Ricardo Montalban might be most remembered for his role as Mr. Roarke on ABC’s Fantasy Island, and for Chrysler advertisements in which he trumpeted the vehicle’s “soft, rich Corinthian leather”, but I think it is safe to say that the role that best showcased his acting chops is than of Khan. The Outsiders defeated My Tutor and Weird Science to make it to this point. Everybody knows about the near legendary cast… Matt Dillon, Patrick Swayze, Tom Cruise, C. Thomas Howell, Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Diane Lane, & Ralph Macchio. However, did you know that other actors that were considered include Nicolas Cage, Sarah Jessica Parker, Dennis Quaid, Anthony Michael Hall, Timothy Hutton, Mickey Rourke, Brooke Shields, Adam Baldwin, Heather Langencamp (Nightmare on Elm St.), & Glen Scarpelli (One Day at a Time)?? The casting director certainly had an embarrassment of riches from which to choose.

 

The Verdict:      Wrath of Khan. It’s all about repeat viewings. Plus, I wonder if The Outsiders gets a lot of love simply because of the stellar cast and what they went on to become?? Is the quality of the film obscured or falsely elevated by their star power?? At any rate, this is an easy decision.

 

 

 

 

Footloose            vs.     Say Anything…

footlooseFootloose received byes thru the first two rounds. Released in 1984, it tells the story of a Chicago teenager who moves with his mother to a backwards SAOklahoma town. That alone would be a decent setup, but then add in the fact that the town has banned any kind of rock music & all dancing because of an auto accident that killed the local preacher’s son. That minister (brilliantly played by John Lithgow) is kind of the unofficial ruler of the town for some strange reason. Complicating matters even further…the troublemaking city boy falls for the preacher’s daughter. Footloose made Kevin Bacon a star, a wave he’s still riding three decades later. It was also the big break for Sarah Jessica Parker. And personally I like the character played by Christopher Penn, who is the younger brother of the infamous Sean Penn. Chris Penn died way too soon at the age of 40 in 2006, but his performances in Footloose and All the Right Moves live on in our memories. Say Anything… defeated 48 Hrs. in Round 2 after receiving a first round bye. It was the 52nd ranked film at the 1989 box office, behind…well…pretty much everything, although it did better than notables like Prancer, The Fabulous Baker Boys, & My Left Foot…the film that earned Daniel Day-Lewis his first Academy Award. Say Anything…was Cameron Crowe’s directorial debut, and it has a cool soundtrack with songs by Cheap Trick, Living Colour, Joe Satriani, Depeche Mode, and of course Peter Gabriel, whose song In Your Eyes is inextricably linked to the film. It has a stunning 98% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and upon its release Roger Ebert called it one of the best films of the year.

 

The Verdict:      Footloose. It saddens me because Say Anything… deserves a better fate, but it just ran into heavyweight competition.

 

 

 

 

Top Gun    vs.     Airplane!

tgTop Gun shot down Crocodile Dundee in Round 2 after receiving a first round bye. It was the #1 box office draw in 1986, making nearly $177 million. It airplanehas a 55% Rotten rating among critics on Rotten Tomatoes, but an 83% Fresh rating from the moviegoing public…quite a disparity. Our old pal Roger Ebert loved the special effects and all the scenes in airplanes, but had nothing good to say about the rest of the story. I think this is one of those classic popcorn flicks, meant to thrill the audience with smoke & mirrors, convincing us to overlook a thin & unconvincing plot. Most of the time I hate that sort of thing, but on rare occasions it works. Airplane! received a first round bye then took out Beetlejuice in Round 2. It was the fourth highest grossing film of 1980, bested only by The Empire Strikes Back, 9 to 5, & Stir Crazy, but beating out the likes of The Blues Brothers, The Shining, Urban Cowboy, Caddyshack, Mad Max, Raging Bull, & Honeysuckle Rose. That’s quite impressive. Airplane! has a 97% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and has ranked as the best comedy of all-time in multiple lists & polls.

 

The Verdict:      I’m going to give The Manoverse advanced warning. If you have a strong opinion about either of these films please express it. Make this choice for me, because if it is left in my hands people are going to be unhappy one way or another.

 

 

 

 

Uncle Buck                   vs.     Good Morning Vietnam

buckAfter receiving a first round bye Uncle Buck defeated The Last Starfighter in Round 2. It ranked 18th at the box office in 1989, behind inferior sequels gmvlike Ghostbusters 2 and Lethal Weapon 2, but ahead of worthy competition like Field of Dreams, Do the Right Thing, & Major League. As mentioned previously the film spawned a TV show in 1990 but it didn’t last long. Now they’re trying it again in 2016, trying to appeal more to “urban” viewers. I’m not a big fan of taking a perfectly good concept and making it black, gay, or female just to appease the PC Police, and I’m guessing this latest attempt will fail miserably.  Good Morning Vietnam beat out Biloxi Blues in Round 2 after receiving a first round bye. Director Barry Levinson had already had much Hollywood success by 1987, writing the screenplay for Tootsie and directing Diner, The Natural, & Young Sherlock Holmes. He has since gone on to win the best Director Oscar for Rain Man and helm notable films like Bugsy & Wag the Dog, as well as produce stuff like Donnie Brasco & The Perfect Storm. Although Good Morning Vietnam is said to be based on the life of real life DJ Adrian Cronauer, he has stated that it is really only about “45% accurate”. The screenplay was changed significantly to highlight the comedic talents of Robin Williams, who did a lot of improvisation.

 

The Verdict:      Uncle Buck. What’s that phrase I keep using?? That’s right…repeat viewings. I love Robin Williams, but if I am sitting at home chilling out and in the mood to watch a movie, I am quite sure I would choose Uncle Buck over Good Morning Vietnam 9 out of 10 times.

80’s Movie Mania: Bodacious Round 2

First things first. Let’s tie up a loose end from the previous installment. In a coin flip I am giving The Outsiders a victory over Weird Science. The former is just too good to overlook, with a powerful story and an all-star cast, while the latter, though it is another collaboration between John Hughes and Anthony Michael-Hall, is probably their weakest effort. Okay, so…let’s move forward. Today we’ll have the second round of competition in the Bodacious Division. Rock n’ roll dudes!!

 

 

 

Bodacious 2

Batman vs. Pretty in Pink
1989-BatmanThere have been many incarnations of my favorite superhero. The Caped Crusader of course originated in comic books in 1939 and continues to be a staple of that medium today. A famously campy television show aired on ABC for three seasons in the late 1960’s. Director Christopher Nolan brought his dark & gritty vision of the character to the big screen in a solid film trilogy a decade ago. And before that directors Tim Burton then Joel Schumacher produced a quadrilogy (I think I just created a new word!) of Batman movies in the late 80’s/early 90’s. We’ll talk about the other films at some point in the future, but for now we focus on 1989’s Batman, the first of that quadrilogy. Starring Michael Keaton as the titular hero and the legendary Jack Nicholson as his archnemesis The Joker, Batman adequately reflects the character’s caliginous & savage comic book history while still remaining classic popcorn escapism. There were concerns about Keaton being cast in the starring role because he was known mostly for being a comedic actor, but he nailed it and to this day remains my favorite big screen Batman. Of course everybody knows that Nicholson steals the show and is still the best Joker ever, with all due respect to the late Heath Ledger. Anyone who has enjoyed the plethora of films in the “Marvel Cinematic Universe” in the past several years should know that they owe a ton of credit to Batman for breathing new life into the genre nearly three decades ago. Unlike its opponent Pretty in Pink did not get a first round bye, besting Broadcast News in a close call. John Hughes, Molly Ringwald, Andrew McCarthy, John Cryer, If You LeavePretty in Pink has everything one could want in an 80’s film. A tip of the cap must be given to the powers-that-be for the ending, wherein the girl (Ringwald) DOESN’T pick the loveable loser best friend and instead chooses the good-looking rich guy…just like real life.

The Verdict: Batman. This is a tough one because Pretty in Pink is the prototypical 80’s movie, while Batman is slightly ahead of its time in embracing a gloomier 90’s-esque sensibility. However, I must go with my heart here. In my opinion this is the best comic book film ever made, although I have admittedly seen very few others.

 
Risky Business vs. Iron Eagle
risky-business-1983-02-gHe’s baaaacckk. Tom Cruise dominated the box office in the second half of the 80’s, but his breakout role came in 1983’s Risky Business. Cruise stars asiron-eagle high schooler Joel, whose parents leave him alone while they go on vacation. Like any normal teenager Joel goes a little nuts, including getting’ busy with a…lady of the night. After inadvertently sending his father’s Porsche into the river he must come up with some quick cash to get it repaired. The answer?? Turn the house into a brothel for a night…obviously. Risky Business not only features a fantastic soundtrack (Phil Collins, Bob Seger, Muddy Waters, Prince), but includes an iconic scene in which Joel dances around his living room in his underwear lipsynching Old Time Rock n’ Roll. Iron Eagle upset An Officer & A Gentlemen in Round 1. It ranked 41st at the box office in 1986, behind unremarkable bombs like Cobra, Children of a Lesser God, & Police Academy 3, but ahead of solid competition including Flight of the Navigator, Youngblood, & Brighton Beach Memoirs. Obscure trivia: Did you know that Robbie Rist, best known as Cousin Oliver in The Brady Bunch, has a role in Iron Eagle?? Well you do now!!

The Verdict: Risky Business. I love Iron Eagle, but Risky Business is a time capsule film and probably one of Cruise’s Top 5 roles.

Coming to America vs. St. Elmo’s Fire
coming-to-america1Eddie Murphy is back too. I’m sensing a theme. At any rate, 1988’s Coming to America is much more aligned with the kind of comedy we expect from sefMurphy. He stars as a pampered prince from one of those fictional nations that movies like to create, but doesn’t want to enter into an arranged loveless marriage. So the prince & his loyal assistant (played by Arsenio Hall) take off for NY City. There they find jobs at a McDonald’s-esque fast food joint and the prince falls in love with the owner’s lovely daughter. From there it is a classic fish-out-of-water story intertwined with a rom-com. James Earl Jones plays the king, while Samuel L. Jackson and Cuba Gooding Jr. have really small “blink and you’ll miss it” roles. This is undoubtedly one of Murphy’s best movies. St. Elmo’s Fire beat Romancing the Stone in the first round and is a classic Brat Pack film. It was the 23rd highest grossing film of 1985, behind stiff competition like Back to the Future, The Breakfast Club, & The Goonies, but besting notable films like Teen Wolf, Weird Science, Young Sherlock Holmes, & Vision Quest. St. Elmo’s Fire, by the way, is “a weather phenomenon in which luminous plasma is created by a coronal discharge from a sharp or pointed object in a strong electric field in the atmosphere, such as those generated by thunderstorms or created by a volcanic eruption, sometimes appeared on ships at sea during thunderstorms, regarded by sailors with religious awe for its glowing ball of light” and is named in honor of St. Erasmus of Formia, the patron saint of sailors. I have no idea what that has to do with the movie, but meaningless trivia is kind of my thing.

The Verdict: Coming to America. St. Elmo’s Fire has a fabled cast and a kickass theme song, but it is a flawed film, probably in part because it is directed by Joel Schumacher and John Hughes is nowhere in sight. Coming to America is directed by John Landis and has a likeable cast with a fun script. It doesn’t necessarily paint outside the lines, but it doesn’t really have to.

 
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home vs. Eddie & The Cruisers
trekThere were six films made with the cast of the original Star Trek series…William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk, Leonard Nimoy as Spock, DeForesteddie Kelley as Dr. Bones McCoy, George Takei as Sulu, Nichelle Nichols as Uhura, Walter Koenig as Chekov, & James Doohan as Scotty…between 1979 and 1991. In this fourth installment the crew of the USS Enterprise goes back in time to modern day (1986) San Francisco to scoop up some humpback whales that will play a part in saving Earth in the 23rd century. It is a quintessential fish-out-of-water story, with our favorite space cowboys trying to fly under the radar in the 1980’s. It also holds up a rather humorous mirror to modern culture and allows the characters to really shine in a fun, lighthearted way. Eddie & The Cruisers scored an upset victory over the more acclaimed A Fish Called Wanda in Round 1 because that’s just how I roll. It is actually based on a novel that I may read someday. The premise is fantastic, but I have a lot of questions about the execution. In doing some reading about the film it sounds like it just ended up in the wrong hands and several mistakes were made. A more skilled director and production team might have made a movie that isn’t quite as overlooked & underappreciated as the final product.

The Verdict: Star Trek IV. I love Eddie & The Cruisers, but it could have been so much better. The Voyage Home isn’t necessarily a traditional Trek film. The action doesn’t take place in outer space and The Enterprise is MIA, but the script is really good and the cast does some of their finest work. It makes me smile, and in my book that’s pretty cool.

 
The Princess Bride vs. Cocktail
pb21987’s The Princess Bride is another film based on a book, the author being the guy who would go on to write or assist with screenplays for films like cButch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, All the President’s Men, Misery, A Few Good Men, & Good Will Hunting. The film uses the book as a framing device, with Peter Falk (aka Columbo) starring as a grandfather reading to his ill grandson, played by a pre-Wonder Years Fred Savage. In the “fairy tale” a young farm girl named Buttercup falls in love with a laborer. He goes off to seek his fortune so they can be married but is presumed dead when his ship is attacked by an infamous pirate. A few years later Buttercup is set to marry the prince of yet another fictional country before she is kidnapped by one of the oddest trios you’ll ever see. Of course the young lady’s true love isn’t really dead and sets out to rescue her. The film is directed by Rob Reiner and has a charming cast, including Robin Wright, Wallace Shawn, Billy Crystal, & Andre the Giant. The best way I can describe it is delightfully quirky…family friendly escapism at its best. Cocktail got the decision over Stripes in Round 1. It was the 9th highest grossing movie of 1988, beating out solid competition like Beetlejuice, Scrooged, Bull Durham, & Everybody’s All-American. The Beach Boys’ song Kokomo is the film’s unofficial theme song and was a #1 hit.

The Verdict: The Princess Bride. This is a tough one because I love Cocktail. It is probably the most underrated Cruise movie. But The Princess Bride, besides being a cult classic, is a really solid film and a lot of fun.

 

 

Stand By Me vs. Weekend at Bernie’s
Stand-By-Me-Website-Banner-3-980x363-980x363Stand By Me defeated K-9 in Round 1. It was the 13th highest grossing film of 1986, behind Top Gun, Crocodile Dundee, & Ferris Bueller’s Day Off but WeekendAtBernies_184Pyxurzahead of Pretty in Pink, The Fly, Three Amigos!, & Hoosiers. It was directed by Rob Reiner and features a cool 50’s soundtrack. The framing device with Richard Dreyfuss as an older version of one of the characters that lets us know how all of their lives ended up playing out is a nice touch. Weekend at Bernie’s got the first round decision over Bachelor Party. It ranked 39th at the box office in 1989, ahead of Road House, The Fabulous Baker Boys, & The Dream Team but behind crapfests like The Karate Kid Part III, The Abyss, & The Bear (whatever the heck that is). It is interesting to ponder what became of stars Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman. McCarthy…a member of the infamous Brat Pack who starred in notable films like Mannequin, Pretty in Pink, & St. Elmo’s Fire…hasn’t been in anything memorable since Bernie’s (unless one wants to generously include the 1993 sequel) and has more recently been doing guest spots in TV shows that no one watches. Silverman starred in a mid-90’s sitcom called The Single Guy for a couple of seasons and does a lot of TV stuff, but Bernie’s seems to be his career highlight. Fame is indeed fleeting.

The Verdict: Stand By Me. It isn’t even close.

80’s Movie Mania: Gnarly Round 1

Welcome back to 80’s Movie Mania!! Before we move on let’s tie up some loose ends. I’m still not getting more than a couple of votes on the polls I post, which is rather vexing. Anything below double digit votes and it’s my call and that’s not how I’d prefer this whole thing work, but it is what it is. So…in the Tubular Division’s first round it’s La Bamba over Three Men & A Baby, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure over History of the World Part 1, and European Vacation with a bit of an upset over Three Amigos!. Today we focus on first round matchups in the Gnarly Division. Enjoy.

 

 

 

Gnarly – Round 1

 

The Outsiders              vs.              My Tutor

outsidersThe Outsiders is based on a 1967 novel written by an Oklahoma high school girl. The story revolves around a gang of boys called The Greasers, who are essentially a tougher, darker version of The T-Birds from Grease, and their battles with the neighborhood preppies called The Socs (pronounced “soshas”). The film was made in 1983 and has remained in the collective pop culture consciousness because it stars several young up n’ comers who would go on to become Hollywood superstars…Matt Dillon, Patrick Swayze, Tom Cruise, C. Thomas Howell, Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Diane Lane, & 45 year old Ralph Macchio (the future Karate Kid), here playing a junior high schooler. My Tutor is a personal favorite of the teen sex genre. Also produced in 1983, it tells the story of a recent high school graduate who must pass a French exam to secure admission into Yale. He’s more interested in chasing women and trying to lose his virginity (that again), but his rich Daddy hires a tutor to make sure he studies for and passes the test. Fortunately the tutor is young, blonde, hot, & enjoys late night skinny dipping in the family pool. Not surprisingly the kid passes French and gets lucky with the tutor.

 

The Verdict:       The Outsiders. To be honest My Tutor isn’t a great movie. I’m not even sure it is all that good. But it came along at just the right time (probably around the summer of ’84 on video and HBO) to rev the engines of a certain 12/13 year old boy, which is why it holds a special place in my heart. Actress Caryn Kaye: I’ll never forget you. However, The Outsiders is a juggernaut of greatness. It is based on a good book, directed by the legendary Frances Ford Coppola, and has an amazing cast. This is the very definition of an unfair fight. And I’m kidding…Macchio was only 22 when he starred as a high school student The Outsiders.

 

 

 

 

Weird Science             vs.              Raising Arizona 

WeirdScienceIs Weird Science a Brat Pack film?? Ehhhh…kinda sorta not really…but close enough (it was written & arizonadirected by John Hughes afterall). It came out in 1985, which is why Anthony Michael Hall didn’t reprise his role as Rusty Griswold in European Vacation. He chose this movie instead. The story follows a couple of high school geeks who decide to use a computer to build their perfect woman. Somehow it works and the guys suddenly become popular. The woman…whom they name Lisa…teaches them a few things about life and does much to improve their confidence and self-esteem. Weird Science is amongst the earliest works of both Robert Downey Jr. & Bill Paxton and has a very 80’s soundtrack featuring songs from Oingo Boingo, Ratt, & Van Halen. 1987’s Raising Arizona was one of the first films written, produced, & directed by Joel & Ethan Coen, who have since had tremendous success with movies like Fargo, The Big Lebowski, O Brother Where Art Thou?, & No Country for Old Men. Raising Arizona stars Nicolas Cage & Holly Hunter as a career criminal and police officer respectively, who marry but are unable to have children. They hatch a plot to kidnap one of the infant quintuplets of a well-known local businessman, because “anybody with five babies won’t miss one”. Of course things quickly get hilariously out of control. It is a twisted, madcap, slapstick farce, with Cage at his over-the-top zany best.

 

The Verdict:       I have my opinions, but I’m going to give The Manoverse an opportunity to weigh in. Vote!! Tell your friends to vote!!

 

 

48 Hrs.                vs.              Teen Wolf 

4848 Hrs. was one of the first of its genre…the mismatched buddy cop film. It is a formula that works really teenwolfwell when a delicate balance between action & comedy is achieved, and has since become the foundation of a plethora of films with mostly diminishing returns. In 1982 Eddie Murphy was still a regular on Saturday Night Live (he wouldn’t depart until two years later) but snagged his role in this movie when plans to cast Richard Pryor fell through. It is still amongst Murphy’s best work. The story has Nick Nolte as a San Francisco detective who enlists the help of a wisecracking criminal nearing the end of his prison sentence to track down a dangerous escaped convict. The humor is provided by Murphy but is also found in the dysfunctional relationship between an uptight cop and his streetwise partner (in this case a thief). 1985’s Teen Wolf stars Michael J. Fox as a high school basketball player who discovers that lycanthropy is in his bloodline and he has inherited the condition. He uses his newfound “talent” to become the coolest guy at school and lead his basketball team to success, though it all eventually backfires on him and he figures out that just being himself might be preferable. Fox made Teen Wolf right after the first Back to the Future film. The combined success of the two movies, along with the popularity of the TV show Family Ties, cemented Fox’s place as a bona fide star.

 

The Verdict:       48 Hrs. This is a tough call, but Teen Wolf, though a fun popcorn flick, isn’t even the best work that Michael J. Fox did in 1985. Conversely, if Eddie Murphy was still as good in his more recent movies as he was in 48 Hrs. he’d still be on top instead of an afterthought resting on his laurels.

 

 

 

 

Beetlejuice          vs.              Turner & Hooch

beetlejuiceEveryone pretty much knows going in that a Tim Burton film is going to be a weird experience, and 1988’s hoochBeetlejuice is no exception. Alec Baldwin & Geena Davis star as a couple happily settling into their idyllic New England home when they meet an untimely demise. But instead of walking on streets of gold or burning in perpetual fire they find themselves back in their house. That’d be okay, except for the fact that another family soon moves in. The original (now dead) owners want to run this new family off and enlist the help of the titular ghost, a “freelance bio-exorcist”. Hilarity ensues. Part comedy, part horror film, Beetlejuice has enjoyed a cult following (pun unavoidable) for a quarter century, mostly due to the manic performance of Michael Keaton as the title character. Winona Ryder is also…interesting…as the goth daughter of the odd family that has moved into the house. 1989 brought us Turner & Hooch, in which Tom Hanks stars as a California police detective who teams up with a rather ugly, destructive, slobbery dog to bring down a drug lord. It’s a different take on the buddy cop genre, or atleast it would have been different if the very comparable K-9 starring Jim Belushi hadn’t been released the same year. But since, in most people’s hearts & minds, Hanks > Jim Belushi this movie is generally thought of as the better of the two.

 

The Verdict:       Beetlejuice. To be honest it’s not exactly my kind of flick, but the cast is undeniably great and it is one of Keaton’s signature roles, despite the fact that he’s really not onscreen that much. I like Turner & Hooch just fine, but it just ran into stiff competition. Sometimes those are the breaks.

 

 

 

 

Purple Rain                  vs.              Crocodile Dundee

purpleWhich came first…the song or the movie?? In the case of 1984’s Purple Rain the song (and album of the crocsame name) was released just before the film, which essentially serves as unique advertising for the album. Prince stars as a small-time Minneapolis musician battling thru problems at home with abusive parents, professional rivalries in his music career, & a rocky relationship with the lovely Apollonia. Paul Hogan was already a well-known actor & comedian in his native Australia, but he became a worldwide celebrity in 1986 after the release of Crocodile Dundee. The story follows a NY City magazine writer who travels to The Outback for a story about a bushman that’s been involved in some almost mythological exploits. She finds that Mick (as he prefers to be called) isn’t quite as legendary as the anecdotes about him would indicate, but is nevertheless a really fascinating individual. The writer invites the bushman back to The Big Apple to finish the story, at which point the film becomes a classic fish-out-of-water story with a little romance thrown in for good measure. Two sequels followed over the course of the next fifteen years, but neither retained that witty charm of the original.

 

The Verdict:       Crocodile Dundee. Purple Rain has a kickass soundtrack, but that’s about it. Dundee puts a unique spin on a formulaic concept and is good for more than a few laughs.

 

 

 

Biloxi Blues                  vs.              Parenthood

biloxi-bluesIt is said that the character of Eugene Jerome is an autobiographical representation of playwright Neil parentSimon and his youth in Brooklyn during The Great Depression. In the 1988 dramedy Biloxi Blues, the second installment of The Eugene Trilogy, Matthew Broderick portrays Eugene as he heads off to basic training near the end of World War II. The viewer will recognize several young faces that you can’t quite remember where you know them from, but the best parts of the film are the interactions between Eugene and his quirky drill instructor, played by the incomparable Christopher Walken. 1989’s Parenthood is an ensemble dramedy with an all-star cast including Steve Martin, Mary Steenburgen, Jason Robards, Dianne Weist, Keanu Reeves, Rick Moranis, & Joaquin Phoenix. It has been adapted as a TV series twice. The first try was in 1990 and starred Ed Begley Jr., David Arquette, & Leonardo DiCaprio (you may have heard of him). It lasted for only one short season. The second attempt, starring Craig T. Nelson, Bonnie Bedelia, & Lauren Graham was better received and recently concluded its run after 6 seasons.

 

The Verdict:       This is a tough one, so I am going to leave it up to The Manoverse. I would REALLY love some help deciding this matchup folks!!

 

 

 

Police Academy          vs.              The Last Starfighter

police-academyPolice Academy was released in 1984 and was followed by six sequels in the next decade. For awhile it starfighterseems like a new Police Academy film was made every year, and there have been (unsuccessful) efforts to revive/reboot the series in the past several years. However, the only film that really matters is the original. It was fresh, funny, well-written slapstick comedy with a talented cast. Steve Guttenberg headlined a class of misfits trying to become police officers (for various reasons). It is an obvious riff on The Bad News Bears, but that’s okay. It’s another formula that works. 1984’s The Last Starfighter tells the story of a teenager named Alex who is obsessed with a particular video game. Because he is so skilled at the game it is revealed to him that it is actually real, and he is whisked off to outer space to help save the planet Rylos while a robot doppelganger fills in for him on Earth. The film’s special effects may seem a bit cheesy now, but thirty years ago they were pretty remarkable. The scenes with Alex’s robot double are quite funny. This is a movie that will get remade someday because Hollywood won’t be able to resist updating it with all the latest & greatest gadgetry at their disposal, but it’ll have to be a heck of an effort to improve on the original.

 

 

The Verdict:       The Last Starfighter. Reminiscent of a NASCAR photo finish, this is a really close call. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that the plethora of subpar Police Academy sequels don’t carry some weight in my decision, as they really did water down the perception of the first film’s originality, charm, & humor. While The Last Starfighter doesn’t rank alongside Star Wars or Star Trek, it is a fun, quirky, unique entry in the sci-fi genre.

The 2014 Sammy Awards…Part III

SammyAwardWelcome back!! After a brief delay (to build suspense…yeah…that’s it…suspense) we have returned for the conclusion of the 2014 Sammy Awards. Please be sure to check out Parts I & II if you have not already done so.

 

 

 

 

After a moving tribute to the late Robin Williams by our host Billy Crystal as well as Whoopi Goldberg, Henry Winkler, Matt Damon, & Garry Marshall it is time to present our next award.

crystal2whoopiwinklerdamongm

 

 

 

 

Please give a warm ovation to a young man who is able to join us because his team stubbornly refuses to revamp a horrendous defensive secondary and therefore bigbenhas been eliminated from the NFL playoffs. Welcome to the stage the two time Super Bowl winning quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers…Ben Roethlisberger!! And the nominees are:

 

 

Biggest Sports Sports Story

 

 

The Winter Olympics
When the most memorable thing to happen during an Olympics is Bob Costas’ pink eye I think it means they’re doing it wrong.

 

 

Seattle Wins The Super Bowl
The Seahawks defense dominated Peyton Manning & the Denver Broncos in Super Bowl XLVIII (that’s 48 for those of you who might be here all night trying to utilize Common Core to figure it out…you’re welcome). Might we see a rematch in the near future?? It’s possible.

 

 

Derek Jeter Retires
I’ve never been much of a Yankees fan. Okay…I despise them for no apparent reason. However, Jeter has always seemed like a classy guy, and to my knowledge he was never accused of juicing unlike ¾ of MLB. He hung up the cleats last fall after two decades…all with the same team, which is a refreshing rarity, and got a game winning hit in his last at-bat, which was pretty cool even if the game itself was meaningless.

 

 

The World Cup
I’ve tried…I really have. But I just can’t get into soccer. Now the Quidditch World Cup…that I’d watch…maybe.

 

 

Lebron James Comes Home
Few have been harder on Lebron James than your humble Potentate of Profundity. The way he left the Cleveland Cavaliers a few years ago for the Miami Heat…with that idiotic television spectacle called The Decision…was asinine. However, I am a forgiving man and Lebron has apparently seen the error of his ways, especially in regard to The Decision. He has returned home to Cleveland, and even though things are a bit rough right now I have no doubt that he’ll have the Cavs in the playoffs this summer and in serious championship contention next year.

 

 

College Football Playoff
After decades of “mythical” national champions and BCS silliness college football finally got a 4 team playoff this season. The specifics & the methodology need some fine tuning, but I have to admit that the playoff committee ultimately chose the right four teams. The two semi-final games got monster TV ratings, and I am sure the title game will do so as well.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

Lebron. Homecomings are always cool. I understand why he left even if I disagree with how he did it. He has grown up now and has different priorities. I hope there lebroncavsis a happy ending. The Cavaliers haven’t gotten off to the best start and have made some moves that seem kind of desperate. They aren’t winning a championship this season, and it looks like their current head coach probably shouldn’t be buying any property in Cleveland. I sincerely hope Lebron James doesn’t get frustrated & impatient and leave his hometown a second time. That would be horrible and might send me into the kind of rage that ends with a prison sentence even though I really couldn’t care less about the NBA. Until we get to that bridge though I will remain optimistic and believe that this will all turn out to be a really nice story.

 

 

 

The Charles Barkley Role Model Award

There isn’t a list of nominees for this award. There is only one nominee & winner. Lauren Hill is a 19 year old woman who was diagnosed with an inoperable brain praytumor a little over a year ago during her senior year in high school. The first thing Lauren wanted to know after her diagnosis was if she could still play basketball. She finished her senior year and set her sights on playing college ball. Lauren had already committed to Mt. St. Joseph University, a Division III program in Cincinnati, OH, before her diagnosis. In September 2014 a scan showed that Lauren’s tumor had grown and she was unlikely to make it to Christmas. Her dream was to play in one college basketball game, a goal that she achieved. Lauren got to play in 4 games before her health would not allow her to continue. She also utilized her growing notoriety to start a fundraising campaign for cancer research that has raised over $1 million. And oh by the way, the doctors were wrong…Lauren made it thru the holidays. She & her family are being assisted by hospice care, but she got to see one last Christmas & New Year’s. I don’t know Lauren Hill. I don’t know anything about her other than what I have read and seen on television. But one thing I do know is that Lauren chose life. She chose to battle this evil scourge called cancer to the bitter end. She achieved her goal and took time to do something helpful for others. Godspeed Lauren…I’ll keep you & your family in my prayers.

 

 

 

 

The following awards were handed out last weekend at an abandoned Ramada Inn just outside Detroit:

Most Annoying Song
Happy by Pharrell Williams

Best Commercial
ESPNU’s “Blind Date” and Budweiser’s “Friends Are Waiting”

Idiot of the Year
“Daredevil Naturalist” Paul Rosolie (the guy who was “eaten alive” by an anaconda for a Discovery Channel special)

Most Disappointing Movie
Sex Tape

Funniest TV Moment
Frank Caliendo reads Lebron James’ “Letter to Cleveland” in the voice of Morgan Freeman on Mike & Mike in the Morning

Biggest Mystery
The appeal & continuing success of Taylor Swift

Best Game to Play on Your Phone
Trivia Crack

Biggest Ingrates
Those who had an issue with a free U2 album being added to their iTunes library

 

 

 

 

Our next presenter(s) come to us via satellite. Please give a slightly puzzled welcome to infamous Brat Pack actor Rob Lowe, along with his pals Super Creepy Rob Lowe, Painfully Awkward Rob Lowe, Far Less Attractive Rob Lowe, Scrawny Arms Rob Lowe, Meathead Rob Lowe, & Crazy Hairy Rob Lowe.

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:

 

 

 

 

 

And the nominees are:

Favorite Movie

Muppets Most Wanted
This is a follow-up to The Muppet Movie, which won The Sammy for Favorite Movie in 2011. Unfortunately this one lacks the same magic. Neither Jason Segel nor Amy Adams return from the previous film, and instead we get Ricky Gervais as a sinister criminal and Tina Fey as a German prison guard, as well as cameos from Tony Bennett, Puff Daddy (or is it P. Diddy??), Celine Dion, Lady Gaga, Josh Groban, & Ray Liotta. It’s not a bad way to spend a couple of hours, but just isn’t as charming as its predecessor.

 

God’s Not Dead
The premise is this…a college student decides to stand up to his atheist philosophy professor. It’s not a horrible film and is somewhat inspiring at times. Here’s the problem with this as well as other “Christian” films though…Christians will like it while non-believers will scoff (as non-believers are wont to do). So what exactly does it accomplish if it is “preaching to the choir”?? I don’t think this movie is going to convince anyone of anything as written. The idea is ripe with potential, but the execution is lacking. Nice try though.

 

Draft Day
Kevin Costner finally decided to do a sports film. Okay okay…I’m joking. We all know that Costner is the king of sports movies. This time he plays an NFL GM whose team (the Cleveland Browns) has the #1 overall pick in the upcoming draft (talk about realism!!). He’s not sure which player he wants to take, but we are introduced to three candidates: a cocky QB (sound familiar Browns fans??), a talented RB, & an underrated linebacker. The GM has some drama going on in his personal life too, but it’s really not that compelling. Draft Day is no threat to replace Field of Dreams, Bull Durham, or even Tin Cup as beloved Costner classics, but as a fictionalized behind the scenes look at the NFL Draft it is decently entertaining.

 

Boyhood
The critics are raving about this film. It is a coming-of-age story about a 6 year old boy and his slightly older sister being raised by their single mother in Texas. Their father (played by Ethan Hawke) pops in & out of their lives but is a good Dad. What is unique about Boyhood is that it was filmed over the course of 12 years, so we literally watch these two kids grow up in the space of a couple of hours. The same actors were used the entire dozen years. It is a fascinating & mesmerizing concept. However, there are a couple of issues. First of all the distinctive idea doesn’t have any kind of really interesting plot accompanying it. It is just about the ups & downs of everyday life…love, marriage, divorce, parenting, breakups, drinking, drugs, friendship, loss. It’s not that those things can’t be interesting, it’s just that I found myself asking “what is the point??” beyond the singular way the story is presented. The other issue is that the filmmakers and Hawke…an unabashed liberal…couldn’t resist taking a few political potshots along the way. These jabs were unnecessary and only distracted from my enjoyment of the film. Some things are better left unsaid.

 

A Merry Friggin’ Christmas
I love Christmas movies and I love Robin Williams. I had to check out one of his last projects. I’d be lying if I said that Williams’ demise didn’t have a negative impact on my perspective. The whole time I was watching I just kept thinking how worn down & disengaged he looked. This is not the enthusiastic, energetic, witty, full of life Robin Williams we all knew & loved. The story involves a somewhat alienated father & son taking a road trip back to the son’s house to fetch some misplaced Christmas presents for his children. It is funny in spots, but not nearly funny enough. This isn’t a movie the masses will be watching every Christmas in perpetuity like so many others.

 

Neighbors
Seth Rogan and his wife & kid move in next door to a fraternity house. Hilarity ensues. Mildly funny but mostly forgettable.

 

Million Dollar Arm
This is based on a real life story wherein a hotshot baseball agent mines the mean streets of India for untapped talent. It is somewhat charming but also mostly forgettable.

 

Blended
Adam Sandler & Drew Barrymore have teamed successfully before… in 1998’s The Wedding Singer and again in 2004’s 50 First Dates, both of which are the kind of solidly entertaining movies one is apt to watch multiple times, especially if it comes on some random TV channel on a lazy weekend. Will Blended become that kind of “modern classic”?? Ehhh…probably not. The duo portray two single parents whose initial blind date is disastrous, but then both inexplicably end up bumping into one another (with their respective children) during a vacation in Africa. We all know the inevitable conclusion, but we don’t care if the journey is satisfactory. I think there are just too many moving parts here that don’t allow us to focus on the central romance. Blended tries really hard and isn’t a terrible film by any means.

 

This Is Where I Leave You
Take the 1983 classic The Big Chill and cross breed it with 2005’s The Family Stone and you come up with this dramedy about a dysfunctional family forced to sit shiva for a week after their father’s death. I am usually a sucker for the dramedy format, but this one goes back & forth more than a ping pong ball. It can’t decide whether it wants to be funny or serious, and that uncertainty hurts the momentum. The cast (Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, Dax Shepard, Katherine Hahn, and many others) is outstanding, but probably a bit bloated. Adam Driver may be on the verge of superstardom as the bad guy in the new Star Wars movie(s), but I think his true calling is following in the footsteps of Vince Vaughn as the always likable ne’er-do-well. TIWILY is, overall, kind of a downer, but it has its moments.

 

What If
I love a good rom-com, and this is a good rom-com. Originally released internationally in 2013 as The F Word (no…not that F word), it was finally released in North America in 2014 after the politically correct name change. Daniel Radcliffe sheds his Harry Potter persona quite nicely as a jaded young man who falls in love with a young woman he meets at a party. That young woman, portrayed by the enchanting Zoe Kazan (why she isn’t a bigger star is a mystery to me), has a boyfriend and immediately puts Radcliffe’s Wallace into “the friend zone”. Yes I know…we’ve seen this a thousand times and we all know how the story ends, but that’s okay as long as the script is well written and the cast is good. What If is kind of an updated riff on When Harry Met Sally, which is fine by me. Adam Driver shows up playing the same kind of aforementioned scalawag that seems to be his strength, and another captivating young actress named Mackenzie Davis that I am quickly developing an affinity for has a nice supporting role.

 

Heaven is for Real
This is a stronger effort in the Christian film genre than God’s Not Dead and is based on a true story. A 4 year old child becomes ill and has emergency surgery. After his recovery he begins to act strange and reveals to his family that he went to Heaven and saw God. His father is a minister in rural Nebraska and even he has doubts about his son’s claims. The small community doesn’t like the publicity that the story brings and ponders ousting the preacher. Greg Kinnear is an underrated actor and touchingly portrays the struggle of this minister and how his beliefs are shaken. Again, this is kind of “preaching to the choir” in that it’s the type of movie that will appeal mostly to believers, but unlike God’s Not Dead I think it has the potential to give fence sitters some food for thought.

 

That Awkward Moment
Three 20-something dudes suffering from a severe case of arrested development agree to stay single in solidarity with one another. Of course immediately thereafter they all find themselves in relationships. Complications arise…some of them funny, some of them not-so-much. I haven’t decided if I like Zac Efron or not, but I do know that if he wants to ever be taken seriously as an actor he has to grow beyond these juvenile frat boy parts. I do like up n’ comer Miles Teller, and the aforementioned Mackenzie Davis has a supporting role.

 

Jersey Boys
This is a well-executed biopic about the legendary 1960’s band Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons and is based on a Tony Award winning play. The actors are all Broadway vets and do their own singing, which is impressive. I learned a lot about Valli and his pals, which isn’t saying much since the only thing I knew before was the music. It is amazing to ponder what heights The Four Seasons could have achieved if everyone would have stayed on the same page and maintained a laser focus on their collective success. Alas life has a way of interfering and stuff happens. As it is though the foursome ended up with five #1 hits, sold over 100 million albums, and were inducted into the Rock n’ Roll Hal of Fame in 1990. Not bad, right??

 

Saving Christmas
IMDB users have quickly crowned this the worst movie of all time, which I think is rather harsh, especially considering competition like From Justin to Kelly, Glitter, & Gigli. Look, I realize that Kirk Cameron is a polarizing figure. Even some Christians don’t like the guy. But I have to give him credit for making this effort. I’m not sure I completely agree with all of the theology, but there is some decent food for thought here. Santa was a badass?? Who knew?? Saving Christmas wasn’t exactly what I was expecting, and I think the same points could have been made in a more acceptable format, but this is far from the worst film ever made. Haters are just gonna hate I guess.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

 

What If. I have to be honest…I didn’t go to the movies as often as I would have liked in 2014 and there were several films I didn’t get a chance to see. In a relatively whatifweak field What If stood out. Is it a bit derivative?? Sure. But that can be said about a lot of things. The fact is that the masses enjoy this kind of story and that’s why filmmakers keep churning them out. Many crash & burn, while some are just distinctive enough to carve out their own spot in the crowd. This is the latter. Don’t worry Harry Potter fans…Daniel Radcliffe is going to do just fine as a muggle.

 

 

 

 

To present our final award of the evening The Manofesto is honored to bring back a man that had so much fun presenting in 2012 that he called and asked if he gwbcould participate again. His presence has the added benefit of annoying liberals which is always fun. Please give a warm welcome to the former President of the United States…George W. Bush!! And the nominees are:

 

 

 

 

Biggest News Story

WV Water Crisis
In the early days of January 2014 there was a chemical spill into the Elk River in the capitol city of Charleston, WV. Nearly 300k residents in 9 counties were without drinkable water for several days. The owner of the plant where the spill occurred, Freedom Industries, filed for bankruptcy within a week of the incident.

 

Malaysian Airliner Mystery
2014 was a tough year for Malaysia Airlines. In March a plane carrying over 200 passengers disappeared mysteriously somewhere in the Indian Ocean. No debris was ever found and conspiracy theories popped up, mostly from people who had been a little too into that TV show Lost. Was the plane hijacked by terrorists?? Was North Korea somehow involved?? Are the passengers alive somewhere on an island hanging out with Gilligan, The Professor, and the dude from Cast Away?? We’ll probably never know. To make matters worse another Malaysia Airlines flight crashed in July, killing nearly 300 passengers. But atleast we know that plane was shot down by a Russian missile. The moral of the story is don’t ever fly Malaysia Airlines…like ever.

 

Ebola in America
Ebola is the kind of deadly Third World virus that we usually read about in National Geographic, but in 2014 it hit very close to home. About 10 people in the U.S. were diagnosed with ebola. Two people died. Most of those contracted the disease outside of America and a couple were nurses that contracted it while treating ebola stricken patients. Some say the concern was overblown, but it is human nature to fear what we do not know.

 

Ferguson, MO Race Riots
Back in August an 18 year old black man was shot & killed by a white police officer in Ferguson, a suburb of St. Louis. Some say Michael Brown was a nice kid who was gunned down by a racist cop. Others believe that Brown was a thug and that Officer Darren Wilson was just doing his job after Brown had robbed a convenience store then resisted arrest and assaulted the officer. Unfortunately the former opinion touched off violent protests, vandalism, & looting that lasted for weeks. Ultimately Officer Wilson was not indicted by a grand jury but understandably resigned from the Ferguson PD.

 

Same Sex Marriage Spreads
Same sex marriage became legal in an additional 19 states in 2014, meaning that it is now legal in about 35 states. And that’s all I have to say about that.

 

Secret Service Ineptitude
Look, I’m no fan of President Obama, but that doesn’t mean I want to see him get kidnapped or murdered. The Secret Service is supposed to protect the President 24/7/365, but in 2014 there were…issues. There were atleast two incidents of unauthorized, ordinary people just waltzing into The White House unnoticed, while an unauthorized and armed security guard for the Centers for Disease Control somehow gained access to an elevator and took a little ride with the President while he was visiting Atlanta. Come on folks…get your stuff together.

 

Robin Williams’ Suicide
I have been a huge Robin Williams fan since I was a kid. He was a brilliant comedian and an even better actor that could do dramatic and funny roles with equal aplomb. I knew he had battled substance addictions in the past, but I wasn’t aware that he also suffered from severe depression. On 8/11/14 that vibrant, talented, complicated life came to an abrupt & all too premature conclusion when Williams ended his own life. I am usually not that invested in any actor/comedian/singer/celebrity. They come, they go. Their stardom shines bright for a short time and then it fades. But I have to say that I was rocked by this tragedy. Oh sure…not all of his movies were winners, but so many of them were and we assumed that there’d be more. I am not an expert on clinical depression, but I find it profoundly sad that someone who seemed to have it all didn’t feel his life was worth continuing. I am sad for his fans who will never be able to look forward to another awesome performance or even a funny appearance on a late night talk show, and I am sad for a family that has lost a husband & father.

 

ISIS
ISIS stands for Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. They are a group of Muslim terrorists that have a penchant for kidnapping people and then cutting off their heads. In 2014 ISIS beheaded atleast a couple dozen people, including a few Americans. I am sure the videos are available somewhere online, although I am not sure why anyone would want to see that. But don’t worry folks…Islam is a religion of peace. They mean no harm and there is nothing to be concerned about. And also I have some lovely beachfront property in South Dakota that I am willing to sell for three Hershey Bars and a tricycle. Call me!!

 

Mid-Term Election Republican Sweep
In November 2014 the Republicans gained control of the U.S. Senate, increased their majority in the U.S. House of Representatives, and gained an additional two governorships. Even here in WV Republicans took control of the legislature for the first time in…forever (I think). Unfortunately controlling the U.S. Congress won’t mean a thing as long as Rep. John “Tears” Boehner and Sen. Mitch McConnell are in charge and willing to bend over to kiss Obama’s…ring.

 

Veterans Administration Scandal
My father is a veteran and has received acceptable care with various issues from the local VA Hospital, but I guess not everyone has been so lucky. Apparently dozens of patients have died while trying to wade thru weeks & months of red tape & waiting lists in the past several years. Investigations are ongoing.

 

Terrorists Kidnap School Girls in Nigeria
In April 2014 nearly 300 teenage female students at a school in Nigeria were kidnapped by a Muslim terrorist group (them again) called Boko Haram. Months later only a few of the girls had been rescued. A couple escaped. A few were killed. Supposedly many of them have been taken to various other countries and sold into slavery. The inept Nigerian government has done basically nothing, and the only U.S. response was to express anger on Twitter (#BringBackOurGirls), as if that’ll accomplish anything.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

Ferguson. I don’t know exactly what happened, but I do know a few things. I know that Michael Brown wasn’t an innocent kid. It’s simple…don’t commit robbery or ferg1any other kind of crime and the police won’t have the opportunity to shoot you. I know that the reaction was way way way over-the-top. I don’t get looting. People need to mind their own business. If a guy down the street from me gets beaten or shot by the cops…right or wrong…why in the world is that a reason for me to walk downtown, set fires & bust out windows, and steal a TV from the local electronics store?? It’s idiotic. As far as we’ve come with race relations in America in the previous 3 or 4 decades it feels as though we’ve gone backward in the past few years. I am sure that there are bad law enforcement officers out there, but I think the vast majority do a damn fine job. It’s not their fault that black males are about 6% of the American population but are almost half of the prison population in the U.S. ferg2That’s not racism…it’s fact. Yet we have whackjobs like pretty much the entire lineup of MSNBC talking heads that see racism in e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g, and people like “Rev.” Jesse Jackson & “Rev.” Al Sharpton (aka The Justice Brothers) that make a living out of stirring the pot. It’s pathetic and insulting. And while it is tragic that a young man lost his life in Ferguson it is also sad that a lot of other people lost businesses & property because people decided to use that tragedy as an excuse to act like animals and compound the issue exponentially. Can’t we all just get along??

 

 

 

 

 
rip

actor/comedy legend Robin Williams…retired Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Chuck Noll…actor/writer/director Harold Ramis (Caddyshack, Ghostbusters, National Lampoon’s Vacation, Groundhog Day, Animal House, Analyze This)…radio personality (and voice of Scooby Doo’s pal Shaggy) Casey Kasem…baseball Hall-of-Famer Tony Gwynn…SNL announcer Don Pardo…retired boxer Rubin “Hurricane” Carter…comedians Sid Caesar, Tim Wilson, Joan Rivers, & David Brenner…NBA Hall of Fame coach Jack Ramsay…former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon…entertainment columnist Marilyn Beck…pro wrestlers Nelson Frazier Jr. (aka Mable, Viscera, Big Daddy V) & Sean O’Haire…S. Truett Cathy (founder of Chick-fil-A)…sportswriter Bill Conlin & Bryan Burwell…actresses Lauren Bacall (Key Largo, The Shootist, All I Want for Christmas), Shirley Temple, Carmen Zapata (Santa Barbara, Sister Act), Ruby Dee, Ann B. Davis (Alice on The Brady Bunch), Polly Bergen, Elaine Stritch, Marcia Strassman (Welcome Back Kotter), Elizabeth Pena (La Bamba), Jan Hooks (Saturday Night Live), Carol Ann Susi (The Big Bang Theory), & Mary Ann Mobley (Diff’rent Strokes)…baseball Hall of Famer Ralph Kiner…author Gabriel García Márquez (100 Years of Solitude)…singers Phil Everly (1/2 of The Everly Brothers), Jerry Vale, Jimmy C. Newman, Pete Seeger, Jimi Jamison (Survivor), & Joe Cocker…former Haitian President Jen-Claude “Baby Doc” Duvalier…WV businessman & philanthropist “Buck” Harless…former mayor of Pittsburgh, PA Sophie Masloff…actors James Garner (The Rockford Files), Mickey Rooney, Phillip Seymour Hoffman (Scent of a Woman, The Big Lebowski, Almost Famous), James Rebhorn (Scent of a Woman, Meet the Parents), Bob Hastings (General Hospital, McHale’s Navy), Russell Johnson (The Professor on Gilligan’s Island), Dave Madden (Reuben on The Partridge Family), Maximilian Schell (Judgment at Nuremberg, Deep Impact), Ralph Waite (The Waltons), Richard Bull (Little House on the Prairie), Efrem Zimbalist Jr., Bob Hoskins (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Hook), Meshach Taylor (Designing Women), Eli Wallach (The Godfather Part III, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps), Charles Keating (Another World), Sir Richard Attenborough (Jurassic Park, Miracle on 34th Street remake), Ed Nelson (Peyton Place, Capitol), Ken Weatherwax (Pugsley on The Addams Family), & Edward Herrmann (Gilmore Girls, narrator for History Channel)…retired MLB players & managers Don Zimmer & Jim Fregosi…former Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee…producer/writer Arthur Rankin Jr. (Rankin/Bass Productions)…retired U.S. Senator Jim Jeffords & Congressman James Traficant…musicians Tommy Ramone, Paul Revere, & Johnny Winter…Hall of Fame pro wrestlers Ultimate Warrior, Ox Baker, & Mae Young…journalist Garrick Utley…NFL owners Ralph Wilson (Buffalo Bills) & William Clay Ford (Detroit Lions)…former White House press secretary Jim Brady…Ken Forsse (creator of Teddy Ruxpin)…retired race car driver Gary Bettenhausen…poet Maya Angelou…MLB player Oscar Taveras…game show hosts Jim Lange (Name That Tune, The Dating Game) & Geoff Edwards (Chain Reaction)…retired pro wrestlers Billy Robinson & Jimmy Del Ray…TV sports director Sandy Grossman…Watergate conspirator Jeb Stuart Magruder…retired NFL players Earl Morrall, Rob Bironas, Orlando Thomas, & Robert Newhouse…voice actor (Tony the Tiger) & pro wrestling announcer Lee Marshall…songwriter Arthur “Guitar Boogie” Smith (Dueling Banjos)…former Cy Young Award winning pitcher Bob Welch…former Senate Majority Leader & White House Chief of Staff Howard Baker…former Baltimore Orioles GM Frank Cashen…fashion designer Oscar de la Renta…retired tennis player & instructor Vic Braden…Marshall University President Stephen Copp…crackhead & mayor of Washington, DC Marion Barry…director Mike Nichols (The Graduate, Biloxi Blues, The Birdcage)

100 Favorite Movies…..#85

Progress on this series had hit a noticeable standstill, but happenstance has intervened and given me motivation to move forward. Coinciding with the untimely death of director/producer/writer John Hughes, the next film in the countdown is actually three films, because I just couldn’t leave one out and also because the three share so much common ground. Hughes directed two out of three.

 

Anyone who came of age in the 80’s is familiar with John Hughes and The Brat Pack (Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy, Judd Nelson, Andrew McCarthy, Anthony Michael Hall, Rob Lowe, Demi Moore, and Emilio Estevez). Hughes was the master of capturing teen angst on film, and those 8 actors were apparently his muses. Hughes did a lot of other great stuff, and including his two films we’ll discuss here, nine of his films appear in my Top 100. But it’s the teen stuff, the Brat Pack movies, that he is most remembered for creating. All 8 Packers appear in this three pack.

 

Specifically I am talking about Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, and St. Elmo’s Fire. Those were the three Brat Pack films that most resonated with my sensibilities.

 

Sixteen Candles is obviously aimed at a more female demographic. That’s okay…..I’m in touch with my feminine side I guess. Molly Ringwald stars as a teenager whose entire family forgets her 16th birthday because they are gearing up for her older sister’s wedding. The grandparents are hilarious, and even better is the exchange student one set of grandparents bring along. This exchange student, Long Duk Dong, takes Sixteen Candles over the top in my opinion. Anthony Michael Hall is also amusing as a total geek trying to win a bet involving a a pair of panties and a dozen floppy disks (wow…what an outdated reference lol).

 

The Breakfast Club is classic 80’s, prototypical John Hughes, quintessential Brat Pack. It epitomizes the zeitgeist of teen angst on film. Is it a comedy? Is it a drama? Does it really matter? The story involves 5 high schoolers (Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy, Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, & Judd Nelson) serving detention in the school library on a Saturday. The characters encompass archetypal high school clichés…..nerds, jocks, rebels, WASPS, and loners. The genius of the film is that it takes those clichés and makes us truly understand. It’s a deep message wrapped in an easily digestible and fun movie. And I’m not sure any song has ever been so closely associated with a movie as Simple Minds’ Don’t You Forget About Me.

 

St. Elmo’s Fire could have been a sequel to The Breakfast Club. It stars 3 of the 5 Clubbers (Nelson, Estevez, & Sheedy), as well as Rob Lowe, Demi Moore, and Andrew McCarthy. This time the setting isn’t high school but college, where the group has just graduated and now needs to figure out what’s next. I’ve been there, done that. Actually, 14 years later and I’m still searching for answers, but that’s a whole other issue. The title alludes to an electrical phenomenon that appears to sailors. I’ve never really understood what exactly that had to do with events in the movie, but atleast the title is creative and easily remembered. St. Elmo’s Fire is understandably heavier and more intense than The Breakfast Club, but it’s also intended for a slightly older audience. It is often lost in the shuffle amongst more lighthearted and ostensibly better 80’s/Pack flicks, but I think it deserves to be recognized right up at the top of the list.

 

As an amusing aside, I will say that I literally just now noticed that this is number 85 in the countdown and that both St.  Elmo’s Fire and The Breakfast Club came out in 1985. I’m good.

 

I toyed with the idea of doing a standalone tribute to John Hughes, but the timing of this entry (and the order of this list has been rock solid for months, so it really was coincidental) combined with the fact that a half dozen other Hughes films appear in the list will serve as a proper testament to the man’s pop culture influence and my enjoyment of his contributions.