Welcome back to 80’s Movie Mania!! Before we move on let’s tie up some loose ends. I’m still not getting more than a couple of votes on the polls I post, which is rather vexing. Anything below double digit votes and it’s my call and that’s not how I’d prefer this whole thing work, but it is what it is. So…in the Tubular Division’s first round it’s La Bamba over Three Men & A Baby, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure over History of the World Part 1, and European Vacation with a bit of an upset over Three Amigos!. Today we focus on first round matchups in the Gnarly Division. Enjoy.
Gnarly – Round 1
The Outsiders vs. My Tutor
The Outsiders is based on a 1967 novel written by an Oklahoma high school girl. The story revolves around a gang of boys called The Greasers, who are essentially a tougher, darker version of The T-Birds from Grease, and their battles with the neighborhood preppies called The Socs (pronounced “soshas”). The film was made in 1983 and has remained in the collective pop culture consciousness because it stars several young up n’ comers who would go on to become Hollywood superstars…Matt Dillon, Patrick Swayze, Tom Cruise, C. Thomas Howell, Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Diane Lane, & 45 year old Ralph Macchio (the future Karate Kid), here playing a junior high schooler. My Tutor is a personal favorite of the teen sex genre. Also produced in 1983, it tells the story of a recent high school graduate who must pass a French exam to secure admission into Yale. He’s more interested in chasing women and trying to lose his virginity (that again), but his rich Daddy hires a tutor to make sure he studies for and passes the test. Fortunately the tutor is young, blonde, hot, & enjoys late night skinny dipping in the family pool. Not surprisingly the kid passes French and gets lucky with the tutor.
The Verdict: The Outsiders. To be honest My Tutor isn’t a great movie. I’m not even sure it is all that good. But it came along at just the right time (probably around the summer of ’84 on video and HBO) to rev the engines of a certain 12/13 year old boy, which is why it holds a special place in my heart. Actress Caryn Kaye: I’ll never forget you. However, The Outsiders is a juggernaut of greatness. It is based on a good book, directed by the legendary Frances Ford Coppola, and has an amazing cast. This is the very definition of an unfair fight. And I’m kidding…Macchio was only 22 when he starred as a high school student The Outsiders.
Weird Science vs. Raising Arizona
Is Weird Science a Brat Pack film?? Ehhhh…kinda sorta not really…but close enough (it was written & directed by John Hughes afterall). It came out in 1985, which is why Anthony Michael Hall didn’t reprise his role as Rusty Griswold in European Vacation. He chose this movie instead. The story follows a couple of high school geeks who decide to use a computer to build their perfect woman. Somehow it works and the guys suddenly become popular. The woman…whom they name Lisa…teaches them a few things about life and does much to improve their confidence and self-esteem. Weird Science is amongst the earliest works of both Robert Downey Jr. & Bill Paxton and has a very 80’s soundtrack featuring songs from Oingo Boingo, Ratt, & Van Halen. 1987’s Raising Arizona was one of the first films written, produced, & directed by Joel & Ethan Coen, who have since had tremendous success with movies like Fargo, The Big Lebowski, O Brother Where Art Thou?, & No Country for Old Men. Raising Arizona stars Nicolas Cage & Holly Hunter as a career criminal and police officer respectively, who marry but are unable to have children. They hatch a plot to kidnap one of the infant quintuplets of a well-known local businessman, because “anybody with five babies won’t miss one”. Of course things quickly get hilariously out of control. It is a twisted, madcap, slapstick farce, with Cage at his over-the-top zany best.
The Verdict: I have my opinions, but I’m going to give The Manoverse an opportunity to weigh in. Vote!! Tell your friends to vote!!
48 Hrs. vs. Teen Wolf
48 Hrs. was one of the first of its genre…the mismatched buddy cop film. It is a formula that works really well when a delicate balance between action & comedy is achieved, and has since become the foundation of a plethora of films with mostly diminishing returns. In 1982 Eddie Murphy was still a regular on Saturday Night Live (he wouldn’t depart until two years later) but snagged his role in this movie when plans to cast Richard Pryor fell through. It is still amongst Murphy’s best work. The story has Nick Nolte as a San Francisco detective who enlists the help of a wisecracking criminal nearing the end of his prison sentence to track down a dangerous escaped convict. The humor is provided by Murphy but is also found in the dysfunctional relationship between an uptight cop and his streetwise partner (in this case a thief). 1985’s Teen Wolf stars Michael J. Fox as a high school basketball player who discovers that lycanthropy is in his bloodline and he has inherited the condition. He uses his newfound “talent” to become the coolest guy at school and lead his basketball team to success, though it all eventually backfires on him and he figures out that just being himself might be preferable. Fox made Teen Wolf right after the first Back to the Future film. The combined success of the two movies, along with the popularity of the TV show Family Ties, cemented Fox’s place as a bona fide star.
The Verdict: 48 Hrs. This is a tough call, but Teen Wolf, though a fun popcorn flick, isn’t even the best work that Michael J. Fox did in 1985. Conversely, if Eddie Murphy was still as good in his more recent movies as he was in 48 Hrs. he’d still be on top instead of an afterthought resting on his laurels.
Beetlejuice vs. Turner & Hooch
Everyone pretty much knows going in that a Tim Burton film is going to be a weird experience, and 1988’s Beetlejuice is no exception. Alec Baldwin & Geena Davis star as a couple happily settling into their idyllic New England home when they meet an untimely demise. But instead of walking on streets of gold or burning in perpetual fire they find themselves back in their house. That’d be okay, except for the fact that another family soon moves in. The original (now dead) owners want to run this new family off and enlist the help of the titular ghost, a “freelance bio-exorcist”. Hilarity ensues. Part comedy, part horror film, Beetlejuice has enjoyed a cult following (pun unavoidable) for a quarter century, mostly due to the manic performance of Michael Keaton as the title character. Winona Ryder is also…interesting…as the goth daughter of the odd family that has moved into the house. 1989 brought us Turner & Hooch, in which Tom Hanks stars as a California police detective who teams up with a rather ugly, destructive, slobbery dog to bring down a drug lord. It’s a different take on the buddy cop genre, or atleast it would have been different if the very comparable K-9 starring Jim Belushi hadn’t been released the same year. But since, in most people’s hearts & minds, Hanks > Jim Belushi this movie is generally thought of as the better of the two.
The Verdict: Beetlejuice. To be honest it’s not exactly my kind of flick, but the cast is undeniably great and it is one of Keaton’s signature roles, despite the fact that he’s really not onscreen that much. I like Turner & Hooch just fine, but it just ran into stiff competition. Sometimes those are the breaks.
Purple Rain vs. Crocodile Dundee
Which came first…the song or the movie?? In the case of 1984’s Purple Rain the song (and album of the same name) was released just before the film, which essentially serves as unique advertising for the album. Prince stars as a small-time Minneapolis musician battling thru problems at home with abusive parents, professional rivalries in his music career, & a rocky relationship with the lovely Apollonia. Paul Hogan was already a well-known actor & comedian in his native Australia, but he became a worldwide celebrity in 1986 after the release of Crocodile Dundee. The story follows a NY City magazine writer who travels to The Outback for a story about a bushman that’s been involved in some almost mythological exploits. She finds that Mick (as he prefers to be called) isn’t quite as legendary as the anecdotes about him would indicate, but is nevertheless a really fascinating individual. The writer invites the bushman back to The Big Apple to finish the story, at which point the film becomes a classic fish-out-of-water story with a little romance thrown in for good measure. Two sequels followed over the course of the next fifteen years, but neither retained that witty charm of the original.
The Verdict: Crocodile Dundee. Purple Rain has a kickass soundtrack, but that’s about it. Dundee puts a unique spin on a formulaic concept and is good for more than a few laughs.
Biloxi Blues vs. Parenthood
It is said that the character of Eugene Jerome is an autobiographical representation of playwright Neil Simon and his youth in Brooklyn during The Great Depression. In the 1988 dramedy Biloxi Blues, the second installment of The Eugene Trilogy, Matthew Broderick portrays Eugene as he heads off to basic training near the end of World War II. The viewer will recognize several young faces that you can’t quite remember where you know them from, but the best parts of the film are the interactions between Eugene and his quirky drill instructor, played by the incomparable Christopher Walken. 1989’s Parenthood is an ensemble dramedy with an all-star cast including Steve Martin, Mary Steenburgen, Jason Robards, Dianne Weist, Keanu Reeves, Rick Moranis, & Joaquin Phoenix. It has been adapted as a TV series twice. The first try was in 1990 and starred Ed Begley Jr., David Arquette, & Leonardo DiCaprio (you may have heard of him). It lasted for only one short season. The second attempt, starring Craig T. Nelson, Bonnie Bedelia, & Lauren Graham was better received and recently concluded its run after 6 seasons.
The Verdict: This is a tough one, so I am going to leave it up to The Manoverse. I would REALLY love some help deciding this matchup folks!!
Police Academy vs. The Last Starfighter
Police Academy was released in 1984 and was followed by six sequels in the next decade. For awhile it seems like a new Police Academy film was made every year, and there have been (unsuccessful) efforts to revive/reboot the series in the past several years. However, the only film that really matters is the original. It was fresh, funny, well-written slapstick comedy with a talented cast. Steve Guttenberg headlined a class of misfits trying to become police officers (for various reasons). It is an obvious riff on The Bad News Bears, but that’s okay. It’s another formula that works. 1984’s The Last Starfighter tells the story of a teenager named Alex who is obsessed with a particular video game. Because he is so skilled at the game it is revealed to him that it is actually real, and he is whisked off to outer space to help save the planet Rylos while a robot doppelganger fills in for him on Earth. The film’s special effects may seem a bit cheesy now, but thirty years ago they were pretty remarkable. The scenes with Alex’s robot double are quite funny. This is a movie that will get remade someday because Hollywood won’t be able to resist updating it with all the latest & greatest gadgetry at their disposal, but it’ll have to be a heck of an effort to improve on the original.
The Verdict: The Last Starfighter. Reminiscent of a NASCAR photo finish, this is a really close call. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that the plethora of subpar Police Academy sequels don’t carry some weight in my decision, as they really did water down the perception of the first film’s originality, charm, & humor. While The Last Starfighter doesn’t rank alongside Star Wars or Star Trek, it is a fun, quirky, unique entry in the sci-fi genre.