2013 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 11

I was hoping for a really good rebound after an abysmal Week 9, and I guess it could have been worse. Baylor destroyed Oklahoma. I totally didn’t see that coming. I rolled the dice on LSU giving Alabama a game but instead they were trounced by 3 TDs. On the flip side the Ravens did beat the Bengals, Stanford upset Oregon, & Wisconsin rolled over BYU. Zach & I both went 3-2, meaning our season looks like this:

Your Humble Potentate of Profundity   =             26-24

Zach                       =                             22-28

We’re doing all college games again this week and I’m even giving you a bonus pick. I’m generous like that. Can I keep my head above water?? Will Zach have an awesome week and take the season lead?? Stay tuned!!

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Georgia                at            Auburn (-3.5)

georgiaNeither of these teams would seem to have a realistic shot at playing in the SEC championship, but both could still end up in a rather pleasant auburn(and profitable) post-season spot like the Cotton Bowl or Chick-Fil-A Bowl (the old Peach Bowl). The Bulldogs have had an up & down season after some lofty pre-season expectations. Conversely, I don’t think anyone would have predicted such a solid season for Auburn after a 3-9 campaign in 2012, yet here they are riding a 6 game winning streak, including an upset of the Johnny Manziel & the Aggies in College Station, TX. Not only is this a classic trap game for Auburn (archrival & #1 team in the country Alabama await in a couple of weeks), but I am just not convinced that they are better than Georgia. Conversely, Zach is all in on Auburn and thinks they’ll win this one handily.

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Michigan St. (-6.5)           at            Nebraska

nebraskaThe Spartans have snuck up on just about everyone this season, although I’d be remiss if I didn’t humbly point out that I ranked them 22nd in Michigan_State_Spartansmy pre-season Top 25. Meanwhile, the Cornhuskers have flown somewhat under the radar for some reason. The winner of this contest will be in the driver’s seat to face Ohio St. in the Big Ten (which has 12 teams) title game. I had the Cornhuskers as a Top 10 team in the pre-season and still don’t think they are that bad. I am a bit surprised that they aren’t currently ranked. That would change with an upset here, and that is exactly what I am predicting. Zach is still smarting from the Spartans spanking his Wolverines but he did learn a healthy respect for the Michigan St. defense and believes that will be the key in a big 3 touchdown victory.

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Oklahoma St. (-3)            at            Texas

My WV Mountaineers have been in The Big 12 (which has ten teams) for two seasons now and I still can’t get a good read on the conference. Just when I think I texashave things figured out something weird happens. It seems like just yesterday there was buzz about Texas ridding itself of longtime head coach Mack Brown, but since then the Longhorns have reeled off 6 straight victories and now find themselves ranked in the Top 25 and not out of conference title contention (although they have to hope Baylor crumbles which seems unlikely). Meanwhile the Cowboys still just have that one perplexing loss to the ‘Eers marring their season. As much as I like Oklahoma St. and think they are a fine team it feels to me like the early season drama woke up a sleeping giant in Austin, TX and Coach Brown has something to prove. Texas just hired a new athletic director and I’m sure he’s pondering whether or not a change is necessary. A home victory this week would render the point moot, which is exactly what I think will happen. Zach concurs.

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Houston               at            Louisville (-16)

We haven’t picked a lot of American Athletic Conference games here so far. The AAC is a new conference made up of Big East leftovers and a few C-USA houstontransplants and to be honest the quality of football isn’t really all that…enticing. If given a choice between watching a Temple-Connecticut game or an SMU-Memphis matchup and lowering my junk into the same pot that the Thanksgiving turkey is being deep fried in…well, I’d actually have to think about it. However, Houston has traditionally been a fun team with a high powered run & gun offense. We also shouldn’t forget that they came within a whisper of an undefeated season just two years ago, and after a losing season in 2012 they seem to have rebounded a bit. Meanwhile the bloom is off the rose in Cardinal Country. One loss to Central Florida and not only did The ‘Ville plummet down the rankings but QB Teddy Bridgewater…a nearly unanimous choice to be the #1 overall pick in next spring’s NFL Draft just a few weeks ago…seems to be falling down the pecking order and might not be the first quarterback drafted. I smell an upset here, and even if that doesn’t happen I think the game will be a lot closer than 16 points. Zach agrees again.

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Stanford (-4)      at            USC

USC_Trojans2Stanford is coming off an impressive upset of the Oregon Ducks and has vaulted themselves into the national title conversation in the unlikely photo.stanfordtreeevent that either Alabama or Florida St. falter. USC has won 4 out of 5 under interim head coach Ed Orgeron and will likely receive a plum bowl slot regardless of how they fare the remainder of the season. This is yet another classic trap game, although in reverse. Stanford has nothing grand to look forward to, but one has to wonder if they might be a bit full of themselves after dashing the Ducks’ national championship dreams. Orgeron isn’t currently considered a serious candidate to get the USC gig long term, but the powers-that-be might reconsider if he can engineer a big upset in this game. I think it just might happen. Zach, on the other hand, believes that Stanford’s momentum will not only carry them to a victory in this game but that they still have a good chance to play in the national title game.

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Oregon St.          at            Arizona St. (-13.5)

I loves me some west coast football. I am actually off from work this Saturday night and will happily tune into whatever obscure channel on my cable box hostsOregonStateBeavers2 the Pac 12 Network at 9:30pm. The Beavers are coming into this one with two straight losses, while the Sun Devils are riding a 4 game winning streak and are in a battle for a chance to play in the conference title game. I don’t know enough about either team to dissect them with any semblance of credibility but I think a two TD spread is just too much. I am hoping for and expecting a much closer game. Zach thinks we might be crazy, but also believes we could both be right in calling for the upset.

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2013 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 7

It’s been an odd & stressful week in The Manoverse. I’ll spare you the details, but the fact that I am just finally getting around to doing this week’s PPP a few short hours before kickoff tells the story to an extent. Thank goodness we didn’t pick any Thursday or Friday games this week and obviously there’ll be no extra games like last week. Speaking of last week, I went 4-4 (thank you for the last second assist Ohio St.), as did Zach. That brings the season’s total to this point to:

Your Humble Potentate of Profundity    =             17-16

Zach       =             16-17

Thank God we aren’t trying to make a living doing this, right?? Anyway, on to this week…brief & dirty!!

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Oklahoma (-14) at Texas

TEXAS LONGHORNS.1271817676In my Pre-Season Top 25 I ranked Texas #4 and opined that “the Longhorns are finally primed to re-ascend to theoklahoma top of The Big 12 and possibly contend for a national championship.” Oops…I may have been slightly wrong about that. Texas is instead 3-2 and head coach Mack Brown is fielding questions about his job status. Meanwhile the Sooners are undefeated and just about where I thought they’d be at this point. Long story short on this one…I think Texas is a dangerous animal that’s been cornered. I’m not at all confident that they’ll win this annual renewal of The Red River Shootout, but I think they’ll be competitive and certainly won’t lose by two TDs. Zach, on the other hand, believes that Brown’s days are numbered and that Oklahoma takes this one easily. Actually he is very specific, saying that the Sooners will win by 24 points. We’ll see.

My Pick          Texas

Z’s Pick           Oklahoma

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Florida at LSU (-7)

Two Top 20 SEC teams in another highly anticipated clash. What else can be said?? I like LSU to pull this one out at home. Zach agrees.lsu_logo

My Pick          LSU

Z’s Pick           LSU

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Oregon (-14) at Washington

The Huskies are a lot better than anyone thought they’d be this season, but do they really have a shot against the #2 Ducks?? Maybe the Oregon-Ducksmore interesting question is whether or not Oregon can cover the points. They have won their five games thus far by an average of 47 points. Now I will grant that they haven’t played anyone of note, but still…that’s a high powered offense. I think Washington gets exposed here and Oregon wins easily. Zach goes so far as to say it’ll be a blowout that’ll be over in the first quarter.

My Pick          Oregon

Z’s Pick           Oregon

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Green Bay (-3) at Baltimore

The Packers haven’t exactly been world beaters this season. They are 2-2 and in 3rd place in their division. The Ravens aren’t that much better at 3-2. I find it interesting that Green_Bay_Packers_HelmetBaltimore isn’t getting the standard 3 point home field bump, especially since they have a better record. That tells me that the oddsmakers know…just like most of us…that Green Bay is a lot better than average and will start to prove it soon…probably this week. Zach concurs.

My Pick          Green Bay

Z’s Pick           Green Bay

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New Orleans at New England (-2.5)

I find this point spread baffling. Yes the Patriots have the home field. But the Saints are clearly the better team and unlike the Packers I’m not sure that New England will be 10_new_orleans_saintsbreaking out of their funk anytime soon. Now, I know what you’re saying…”But humble Potentate of Profundity…the New England Patriots are 4-1!!”. Yes…yes they are. But have you watched any of their games?? Each of those four victories has been a real uphill climb. New England is definitely not the same stellar team that we’ve watched run roughshod over the NFL for the past decade. They have issues. Conversely the New Orleans Saints look like the real deal and have plowed thru their schedule like a fat kid at an all-you-can  eat buffet. This’ll be tough & close, but in the end I think Drew Brees throws for 300 yards and 3 touchdowns en route to a double digit victory. Zach seconds that emotion.

My Pick          New Orleans

Z’s Pick           New Orleans

 

Heroes & Heels…..A Summer 2013 Retrospective

Well, I guess it is officially autumn. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Pumpkins, sunshiny 50 degree days, candy corn, football, the smell of cinnamon & cloves, warm apple pie, hot vegetable soup, The World Series…it’s all good. But before we fully embrace fall & all it has to offer let us take a moment to say a fond farewell to glorious summer. You may have noticed that I have not done a Heroes & Heels since the May edition. At some point I decided it would be a good idea to wait three months and do a summer retrospective H&H combining everyone who grabbed my attention over the course of three months. Now that the time has come to deliver I’m not so sure it was such a great idea, but nevertheless we shall forge ahead. So as always these are the people…dating back to June…who I feel deserve some measure of admiration or contempt. Enjoy!!

 

 

 

 

Roy Costner IV

Mr. Costner was the 2013 valedictorian of the graduating class of Liberty High School in Liberty, South Carolina. Apparently Thumbs_upthat school district has bent over and allowed the ACLU and the heinous Freedom From Religion Foundation to push all prayer from any kind of public events. But Costner is the kind of Christian we all should aspire to be and in the midst of giving his school approved (of course) speech at the commencement ceremony he tore up his written remarks, thanked his parents for leading him to Christ at a young age, and recited The Lord’s Prayer. Sometimes it takes courage…and faith…to do the right thing.

 

Aaron Hernandez

If I have to tell you why this moron is here you must have been living in a cave for the past few months.frowny-face

 

The Supreme Court

In June The Supreme Court continued to contribute to the decaying of America by ruling that “married” gay frowny-facecouples are entitled to the same federal benefits as real (one man & one woman…like The Bible says) married couples.

 

Bill O’Reilly

O’Reilly is one of the conservative pariahs…alongside Rush Limbaugh & Sean Hannity…that liberals like Al Sharpton love to Thumbs_updemonize. But it turns out that Sharpton is a liar (shocker!!). After Sharpton twisted O’Reilly’s words one more time back in August O’Reilly responded by revealing that he had once donated $25k to one of Sharpton’s charities to buy Christmas presents and Christmas dinners for hundreds of poor people in Harlem. Oh those evil conservatives!!

 

Montia Marie Parke

Miss Parke is the complete opposite of Roy Costner IV. She is a Minnesota high school cheerleader who somehow frowny-facemanaged to force a mentally impaired classmate into prostitution. To anyone who has ever whined & cried about something called “cyberbullying”…you just need to shut up now. This is actual bullying.

 

Don Thompson

Thompson is the CEO of McDonald’s. In response to a particularly precocious 9 year old’s question a few months ago at a frowny-facepublic Q&A inquiring as to why the fast food giant “tricks kids into eating food that isn’t good for them by using toys and cartoon characters” Thompson assured the little girl that McDonald’s “doesn’t sell junk food” and trumpeted the plethora of healthy options on the menu. You know…like the Premium Southwest Chicken Salad that’s only 450 calories and 21 grams of fat.

 

Pima Community College

Terri Bennett is a nursing student. She requested that the college enforce the use of English in her classes after several of frowny-faceher labs, group studies, & clinicals were conducted in Spanish…a language in which she is not fluent. In response school administrators called Ms. Bennett a bigot and suspended her for 9 months. This college is in Arizona. One of the 50 states of the United States of America…where we speak English. Someone needs to remind the politically correct suits at this school of those things.

 

Maurkice & Mike Pouncey

Maurkice is my boy. He’s a fantastic center for my Pittsburgh Steelers. But a couple of months ago he & his twin brother frowny-face(who plays for the Miami Dolphins) pulled a bonehead move by wearing “Free Hernandez” caps in reference to their college teammate Aaron Hernandez. Sorry gentlemen…I know all about “innocent until proven guilty”, but public sentiment isn’t with you on this one and sometimes it’s best to keep your opinion to yourself.

 

Leah Remini

TV actress & talk show host Remini was one of many celebrities who got sucked into the cult of Scientology. But a couple ofThumbs_up months ago she finally wised up and ditched Tom Cruise, John Travolta, & all their weirdo buddies. Better late than never. Good for her.

 

Michael Dyson

Dyson is a sociology professor at Georgetown University and a frequent talking head on MSNBC. A few months ago, afterfrowny-face the Zimmerman verdict was announced, he made an analogy comparing how black folks felt about that whole deal to how many of us felt after 9/11. I guess it isn’t shocking that MSNBC employs such an offensive idiot, and even less astonishing that he’s a college professor.

 

Charles Dickens Primary School in Hampshire, England

Luke Blagden is a 10 year old student at the school. He was thirsty. It was a hot day. His teacher wouldn’t allow him to get a frowny-facedrink of water. Why?? Because there were a few of his Muslim classmates who were fasting for Ramadan and “it wouldn’t be fair to them” for Luke to be able to quench his thirst. And yet Christians are the ones who constantly get accused of ramming our beliefs down others’ throats. Hypocrisy at its worst.

 

Rolling Stone           

The 40 year old pop culture magazine put Boston Bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on the cover of its August issue. I suppofrowny-facese we shouldn’t be shocked. This is the same piece of journalistic garbage that once put Charles Manson on its cover in 1970.

 

Holy Trinity School & The Diocese of San Diego

Carie Charlesworth was a 2nd grade teacher at a private school in San Diego, CA…until she was fired in April following a frowny-faceJanuary incident in which her abusive husband showed up at school and the powers-that-be put the whole place in lockdown. Ms. Charlesworth spoke out about the situation this summer. I understand that the safety of the children is one of the school officials’ primary responsibilities, but it seems very very wrong to blame a person for their spouse’s abusive behavior. And we wonder why an estimated 70% of domestic violence situations go unreported.

 

Ashton Kutcher

I’ve never been a big fan of Kutcher. He always seemed like kind of a dufus and none of the TV shows or movies he’s Thumbs_upstarred in have really frosted my cupcake. However, a few months ago he really impressed the heck out of me and probably a lot of other people when accepting a Teen Choice Award. His speech was thoughtful, genuine, & chockfull of sage advice. He told the youngsters in the audience that “opportunity looks a lot like hard work” and said that he “never had a job in my life that I was better than”. He said that “the sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart, thoughtful, and generous” and that “everything else is crap that people try to sell to you to make you feel like less so don’t buy it.” Then he wrapped up by relaying something he’d learned from late Steve Jobs which is that “everything around us that we call life was made up by people who are no smarter than you and you can build your own life that other people can live in. So build a life. Don’t live one, build one.” It may have been one of the best acceptance speeches any artist has ever given, so kudos to Mr. Kutcher.

 

Ships of the Sea Maritime Museum in Marietta, GA

A few months ago 11 year old Lexi Haas and her family attempted to visit the museum while on vacation. Lexi was denied frowny-faceentrance because her wheelchair might dirty the precious carpet inside the museum. Apparently the facility has its own (I assume squeaky clean) wheelchair that handicapped people are invited to use while visiting. As a person in wheelchair I can confidently say that this is unacceptable. I am NOT going to go thru all the hassle of transferring out of my own very expensive wheelchair that is specially fitted for me just for a bit of entertainment. It’s not worth the aggravation. There are other entertainment options. For anyplace to ask a person to do that is extremely offensive. To their credit Lexi’s family declined to pursue legal action and took the high road of simply exposing the stupidity of the museum.

 

Hunter Mahan

Mahan is a professional golfer who had the lead going into the final round of the Canadian Open in July. However, upon Thumbs_uphearing that his wife had gone into labor with their first child 31 year old Mahan immediately withdrew from the tournament and was present for the birth of his daughter. It’s nice to see a pro athlete with his priorities in order.

 

Temar Boggs & Chris Garcia

These two young men were simply helping a friend move some furniture in Lancaster, PA back in July when they were Thumbs_upinformed by police that a local 5 year old girl had been kidnapped. Boggs & Garcia, age 15, took off on their bicycles to search the neighborhood. Upon spotting the vehicle with the girl & the kidnapper the boys gave chase. The kidnapper became spooked and released the girl, after which Boggs & Garcia took her to the police. I never did hear whether the kidnapper was caught, but the important thing is that the little girl is safe. Good things happen when teenagers put away the video games and go outide.

 

President George Bush

In July the first President Bush…at age 89…shaved his head in support of the 2 year old son of one his Secret Service Thumbs_upagents. The little boy is battling leukemia. It certainly makes one wistfully recall the bygone days when Presidents had class & decency.

 

Marlon Wayans

Have any of the Wayans brothers done anything of note since In Living Color went off the air two decades ago?? Anyway, frowny-facethis irrelevant moron had a bit of a meltdown on Twitter after the Zimmerman verdict was announced in July, tweeting things like “the jury just said ‘fuck niggas’!!! We are officially game, like deer” and “black parents hold your kids at home because apparently killing black children is okay”. Maybe if he could act half as good as he overreacts he’d be a working actor and wouldn’t have so much free time to spend on Twitter.

 

Diana Nyad

On September 2nd Nyad became the first person to ever swim 110 miles from Cuba to Florida without the protection of aThumbs_up shark cage. I am reminded of the Austrian gentleman who skydived from space last year. There doesn’t seem to be any logical reason why these folks do this kind of stuff rather than get a normal job like you & me except that they’re just wired differently. To that I say kudos because it makes the world a much more interesting place.

 

Miley Cyrus

Come on…you didn’t really think I’d forget about this talentless little tart did you?frowny-face?

 

 

Heroes & Heels…..May 2013

May hasn’t been a particularly productive month here at The Manofesto. Just another one of my infamous funks. But atleast I am bringing you this edition of H&H on time for once!! We shall see what we can do to get June off to a rousing start, but in the meantime, as always these are the individuals & entities from the past month that I feel deserve my particular brand of praise or scorn. Please enjoy, and stay tuned for some fun & interesting things coming to The Manoverse!!

 

 

 

 

Dan Lebatard

NBA star Lebron James celebrated the first week of May by receiving his 4th League MVP award. King James received 120 of 121 votes, so even with the tremendous honor being bestowed a firestorm quickly developed aimed straight at the lone rebel who denied James a unanimous vote. Somehow a rumor blew up that Lebatard, a sportswriter for the Miami Herald and host of ESPN’s Dan Lebatard is Thumbs_upHighly Questionable, was the person who cast his vote for Carmelo Anthony instead of James. How did Dan react?? Perfectly in my opinion. He did not deny the rumor and instead chose to simply retweet all the hilariously sad vitriol hurled his way on Twitter. Anyone who follows his feed was entertained for hours by the total overreaction of overzealous Miami Heat fans. It turns out that the Anthony vote was courtesy of a sportswriter in Boston and that Lebatard doesn’t even have an MVP vote. Kudos to Dan Lebatard for hysterically playing the masses for the fools that they too often are and getting himself some free publicity without ever saying a word. Well played sir…well played.

 

Jay Mohr

Another day, another out-of-touch Hollywood liberal. As long as these idiots are around I’ll always have fodder for H&H. Mohr…a moderately successful comedian & actor with a smokin’ hot wife…tweeted after the Boston marathon bombings (a tragedy that, frowny-faceironically enough, didn’t even involve guns) that “the 2nd Amendment must go”.  I am a solutions oriented guy, so let me offer an olive branch to Mohr & his ilk. We conservatives may possibly be more open to new stricter gun laws IF you and your friends are willing to get Roe vs. Wade overturned. Gun violence kills about 30,000 Americans each year. Abortion kills over 1.2 million babies annually. Checkmate assclown.

 

Homer Hickam

Hickam is a West Virginia native and an actual rocket scientist. He is also an author, best known for his 1998 autobiographical tome Rocket Boys, which was developed into the 1999 film October Sky starring Jake Gyllenhaal. A few weeks ago he stepped in to offer support to 16 year old Keira Wilmot, a Florida high school student who had been suspended and arrested after a science experiment Thumbs_upcaused a small explosion at school. No one was hurt and no damage was done, but we live in a PC “no tolerance” society in 21st century New America, and the young woman’s intellectual curiosity and willingness to take a chance in the name of science was obviously frowned upon by the “education” establishment. Enter Homer Hickam, who not only applauded Wilmot’s efforts but rewarded her with a scholarship to the United States Advanced Space Academy in Huntsville, Alabama. USASA “offers a college-accredited program through the University of Alabama in Huntsville that includes STEM education plus college and career preparation”, and I think it is safe to say that this young lady will learn more in her brief time at Space Camp than she ever has during her years being indoctrinated in public school.

 

IRS

The Internal Revenue Service has long been regarded as one of the more evil entities of the overinflated United States Government. No frowny-faceone enjoys paying taxes, especially when the funds are increasingly utilized to support social programs that allow lazy bums to enjoy the fruits of the labors of those who do work for a living. It has recently come to light that during the past few years (i.e. during the Hussein Obama era) the IRS has purposely derailed the applications of conservative groups seeking tax exempt status. If such a thing would have happened during a Republican presidency that President would have already been impeached, but for obvious reasons Mr. Obama is more Teflon that John Gotti ever was.

 

Charles Ramsey

On May 6 three young women…Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michele Knight…who had all been missing for about a decade…wereThumbs_up able to escape their captor with help from Ramsey. He was just enjoying a Big Mac in his Cleveland, OH neighborhood when he heard screaming and assisted the young ladies and called 911. I wonder how many other people would have simply walked away and chose not to get involved.

 

Jodi Arias

I don’t follow these criminal trials that the media selectively chooses to sensationalize, and this one was no frowny-faceexception. But one couldn’t help but hear a little about this case in recent weeks. Arias is a 32 year old Arizona woman that was convicted of murdering her ex-boyfriend. She tried to claim self-defense, but the fact that the guy was stabbed 29 times, his throat was slit, and he was shot in the head betrayed that theory. Sometimes I’m really glad to be single.

 

Tiger Woods & Sergio Garcia

Two of professional golf’s brightest stars apparently don’t like each other. I don’t know why and I don’t care. All I know is that it frowny-facebecame a story a few weeks ago and both parties came across like petulant children. Shut up and hit your little white ball into the hole.

 

Ed Buckner

Buckner is a well-known atheist, which is his right as an American. But like so many atheists Mr. Buckner doesn’t seem to grasp the actual meaning of our Constitution. He whined like a little girl when he found a Bible in his cabin at a state park in Georgia. The Georgia DNR removed the Bibles from the park but soon thereafter they were put back on orders from Governor Nathan Deal. An frowny-faceorganization called the Freedom from Religion Foundation got involved, and that tells us all we need to know. Why?? Well, because The Constitution of the United States guarantees all Americans freedom OF religion…not freedom FROM religion. I’m sick to death of atheists & liberals who don’t understand the difference. Specifically the First Amendment states that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” So unless the government tries to institute a national religion then no one has anything legitimate to get all worked up about. Here’s an idea Mr. Buckner…if you see a Bible and it offends you leave it in a drawer and don’t read it!!

 

Prospect Park

Yes I’m a soap opera fan. My sister and I had a babysitter who got us interested in Days of Our Lives and General Hospital when we were in grade school and we’ve both watched for over 30 years. Over time I became a fan of a few other shows as well. In 2012 one of those shows, One Life to Live, was cancelled by ABC. Prospect Park, a Hollywood production company, snapped up the rights for OLTL (as well as All My Children…which I never watched) and announced plans to show it online. The plans seemingly fell thru and three of frowny-faceOLTL’s more popular actors brought their characters to General Hospital. A year later Prospect Park renewed their plans and sued ABC over GH using the OLTL characters, forcing GH to write out those characters and clumsily bring back the actors as whole new characters. Then, a month after OLTL and AMC were relaunched on The Internet for four shows per week Monday-Thursday Prospect Park announced that they were cutting back and each show would only be on 2 days per week each. They spewed forth some sort of poppycock about viewing patterns or something. It was all total BS and a vague attempt to force viewers of one show or the other to watch both shows. I don’t know what kind of substandard incompetent organization Prospect Park is, but their actions have been total bush league and this humble Potentate of Profundity is now a former OLTL viewer as a result of the whole mess.

 

Kylie Bisutti

Ms. Bisutti is a former Victoria’s Secret model who gave it all up for The Lord. She decided that her job conflicted with her beliefs and Thumbs_upchose her faith over money & fame, saying that her body is a sacred temple and should only be be…ummm…enjoyed…by her husband. She further concluded that lingerie models are not good role models for young girls and that they lead men into temptation (ain’t that the truth). Kudos to Ms. Bisutti for walking away from the kind of life that the world promotes as a dream come true and not allowing herself to be “conformed to this world” but instead being “transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

 

Bette Midler

Yet another out-of-touch celebrity. While yours truly thinks imprisonment and impeachment should be the result frowny-faceof the IRS’s appalling breach of the public trust “The Divine Miss M” actually thanked them, saying she loves the IRS for targeting The Tea Party and other conservative groups. What can possibly be said about that level of stupidity?? There aren’t words.

 

The Indy 500

By most accounts the 2013 Indianapolis 500 was a rousing success. At 2 hours 40 minutes it was the fastest one ever. There were a record 68 lead changes…doubling the old record…and 14 different leaders (another record). More cars stayed in the race and on the lead lap than ever before, mostly due to the fact that there were fewer laps run under caution than ever before. However, all this frowny-faceexcitement led to a yellow flag finish that was anticlimactic and a complete dud. Hardcore Indy car fans seemed jazzed about winner Tony Kanaan finally capturing the Borg-Warner Trophy after a dozen previous tries, but just because the winner is a nice guy doesn’t mean the result is anything to be applauded. I am not an engineer nor a ‘car guy’, but I am aware that there are safety concerns in regard to open wheel racing trying a green-white-checkered finish like NASCAR. However, these are smart people and I am quite positive they could figure something out. I am sure Kanaan is enjoying the spoils of war, but I don’t understand how it could feel like anything more than an empty victory.

Heroes & Heels…..A Special Double Feature

Sharp eyed citizens of The Manoverse may have noticed that there was no H&H published for March. As usual I missed the deadline, but instead of just missing it by a day or two we were a week into the month before I had the time & inclination to even ponder writing the piece so I decided to just skip the whole deal. However, the good news is that means today you get a double dose!! You’re welcome. At any rate, these are the people & stories from the past couple of months that I feel deserve either praise or a healthy dose of derision. Enjoy.

 

Dennis Rodman

You remember Rodman. He was an above average pro basketball player in the 90’s that was even more infamous for his off court antics, but he’s been out of the spotlight for a few years. That all frowny-facechanged a couple of months ago when…for reasons seemingly unknown to anybody…he traveled to North Korea and apparently became fast friends with “supreme leader” Kim Jong-un. Rodman went so far as to suggest that Jong-un wasn’t such a bad dude because he is a basketball fan and that he “just wants to be loved”. The retired rebound master plans to return to North Korea this summer so that he & Jong-un can “just hang and have some fun.” Call me crazy, but when Dennis Rodman is taking the lead in American diplomacy it’s not a good sign.

 

Glenwood Gardens Retirement Home

I spent 6 months in a nursing home at the young age of 33, and it honestly made me reconsider my position against euthanasia. That being said, I would like to think that if my life had ever come frowny-faceperilously close to ending prematurely while I was there someone would have stepped up and taken the necessary steps to prevent my untimely demise. But apparently such things are against policy at this Bakersfield, CA facility, where an 87 year old resident died a couple of months ago after she went into cardiac arrest and a nurse refused to administer CPR even after a 911 dispatcher pleaded with her to do so. I wouldn’t feel a bit of remorse if every “skilled’ nursing facility in the country was shut down and then burned to the ground, but hopefully there is a special place in Hell reserved for the idiots who work at this dump.

 

Jim Carrey

Hollywood is seemingly filled with liberal morons and Carrey has proven to be no different. He has frowny-facerecently gone on a rather vociferous anti-gun crusade, which included a supposedly funny video belittling gun owners, The Constitution, and the very dead Charlton Heston. He also made several insulting comments about gun owners on Twitter. Here’s an idea Jimbo…maybe you should shut your piehole and concentrate on making a decent movie that won’t bomb at the box office like nearly everything you’ve been in for the past decade.

 

Park Elementary School (Baltimore, MD)

There have been several of these types of incidents recently but for some reason I made note of this one specifically. In early March a 7 year old student at this school was suspended after he chewed a pop tart into a shape that a teacher thought resembled a gun. The child said that was not what he had frowny-faceintended to do, but here’s the deal…even if he had intentionally done so to my knowledge no one has ever been shot by a pastry. The politically correct anti-gun nutjobs in this country are way way way out of control. Personally I think that everyone responsible for this fiasco should be terminated and never allowed to work in the education system ever again. If I am ever blessed to father a child I will very seriously consider home schooling because quite frankly I’d be scared to death to let my offspring be indoctrinated by the asinine joke that public schools in 21st century New America have become.

 

Senator Rand Paul

On March 6 the junior senator from Kentucky engaged in an old fashioned filibuster that lasted nearlyThumbs_up 13 hours. Apparently he was protesting President Obama’s stance on use of drones against Americans and blocking (temporarily) the nomination of a new CIA Director. I won’t pretend to know all the particulars about the issues involved, but it was nice to see a politician stand up (literally) for his beliefs and act in the way that one would hope all our elected representatives would on our behalf.

 

New Rochelle, NY City Council

In April this group of mental giants voted to order a Gadsen flag removed from a local armory because they believed it to be a Tea Party symbol. First of all a Gadsen flag…for the 3% of residents in McDowell County, WV literate enough to know about this new fandangled internet thing and read The frowny-faceManofesto…is a historical American flag with a snake symbol and the words “Don’t Tread On Me” that was designed by a South Carolina Congressman during the Revolutionary War. In other words it predates the Tea Party by about 230 years. Secondly, what exactly is wrong with the Tea Party?? What is so bad about believing in smaller government, lower taxes, & a balanced budget?? And what about Freedom of Speech?? You remember…The First Amendment, The Constitution, etc.?? Oh yeah…that’s right…liberals hate all that stuff just like they hate America, and this group of liberals proved it.

 

AJ Clemente

On Sunday April 21, 2013 young AJ Clemente began his journalistic career as a news anchor in Bismarck, ND. By Monday morning that career had come to an end. One of the first things Clemente did was drop an F-Bomb on live television. And then he proudly announced to the world that he had recently graduated from West Virginia University. I am an alumnus of West Virginia’s other statefrowny-face school Marshall University but I live close to WVU and have been a Mountaineer fan my entire life. It is embarrassing to me that a school in my home state would produce such an idiotic graduate. To Clemente’s credit he has self-deprecatingly taken his lumps in a very public way after a clip of the incident became a hit on YouTube. He’s making the rounds on television, with appearances on Letterman, The Today Show, & Inside Edition. I am not suggesting that the young man should have to pay for his mistake forever, but maybe he should try a gig doing print or internet news…safely away from a live microphone.

 

Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard

More Hollywood assclowns. These two are actors of some fame. She starred in the TV show Veronica Mars a few years ago and has done a handful of movies that mostly tanked at the box office. He stars in a pretty decent NBC show called Parenthood and has also been in a few bad movies. They’ve been a frowny-facecouple for several years and in March welcomed a daughter. Good for them. Congratulations. Of course they aren’t married and have publically announced that they will not get hitched until the state of California legally allows gays to marry. Well okay…kudos to the happy couple for believing in something and sticking up for what they believe in, but like so many of their peers in the entertainment industry they choose to self-righteously support sin, debauchery, and “alternative lifestyles” that go against the Word of God. Supporting same sex marriage is more important to them than their own relationship and the opportunity for their daughter to grow up in a stable home with married parents. Wow…talk about misguided priorities.

 

Nebraska & East Carolina Football

Both schools’ football programs deserve kudos for allowing young terminally ill children to participate Thumbs_upin their spring games and fulfill a fantasy by scoring a touchdown. The small stuff really is huge sometimes.

 

Cheryl Sabb at Cedar Hills Elementary in Jacksonville

A young 4th grader’s father was stunned to find one of his son’s school assignments on which he’d frowny-facewritten in crayon “I am willing to give up some of my constitutional rights in order to be safer or more secure.” Turns out that after a guest speaker had instructed the young crumb crunchers about our Bill of Rights the teacher…Ms. Stabb…had the entire class copy down that sentence. You see liberals are all about separation of church & state, except when the religion is liberalism and then they do not hesitate to indoctrinate their students, whether they are in grade school, high school, or college.

 

Chris Broussard

It is likely that I will have more to say in the near future about the big story where an active NBA player Thumbs_uphas come out of the closet, but I want to take this opportunity to give some respect to Broussard, an NBA analyst for ESPN who stated on television the following


“Personally, I don’t believe that you can live an openly homosexual lifestyle or an openly premarital sex between heterosexuals, if you’re openly living that type of lifestyle, then the Bible says you know them by their fruits, it says that’s a sin. If you’re openly living in unrepentant sin, whatever it may be, not just homosexuality, adultery, fornication, premarital sex between heterosexuals, whatever it may be, I believe that’s walking in open rebellion to God and to Jesus Christ. I would not characterize that person as a Christian because I do not think the Bible would characterize them as a Christian.”

 

Every single word spoken by Broussard is the absolute truth, but predictably he has been lambasted by the masses as a bigot and a homophobe. Atleast liberals are predictable. Broussard had to know that he’d get creamed for his honesty but he said it anyway. Bigtime kudos to the guy, who will most likely be looking for a job in the near future. But atleast he can be secure about knowing that he’ll spend eternity in the loving embrace of the One True God.

 

Heroes & Heels…..February 2013

Oops I did it again. Ah well…I won’t bore you with my lame excuses except to say that hopefully the snow stops soon, the sun shines more brightly in March, and I awaken from my hibernation in time to get the next edition of H&H published on the final day of the month which is the way this is supposed to work. Anyway, these are the people & stories that either dominated the news or for some reason caught my eye during the short month of February and earned either my praise or my scorn. Enjoy!!

 

 

Douglas MacArthur Elementary School

The school in question is in Alexandria, VA and recently had a 10 year old boy arrested after he brought a TOY gun to school. Actually I’ve seen a few of these types of stories lately and it really frustrates the living daylights out of me. I understand the sensitivity to guns frowny-faceafter the tragedy in Newtown, CT, but for goodness sake children aren’t even allowed to use their imaginations and play anymore. When I was a kid we played Cops & Robbers, Cowboys & Indians, and all kinds of other games that were sure as heck a lot healthier than most of the idiotic video games little ones play nowadays, but apparently the lunatic fringe on the left doesn’t agree.

 

Dr. Ben Carson

Dr. Carson is Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, MD. In 1998 he was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom (the highest civilian award in the United States) by President George W. Bush. A few weeks ago at the annual National Prayer Breakfast, with President Obama just a few feet away, Carson gave a fantastic Thumbs_upspeech that became a viral sensation. He was highly critical of political correctness and floated his ideas about health care, making it quite obvious that he isn’t exactly a fan of Obamacare. Dr. Carson…who just happens to be black…is proof that critics of President Obama don’t dislike him because we’re racists…we dislike him because of his policies & beliefs. I have long said that I have no problem with a black person being President but that we simply elected the wrong black person (twice). Dr. Ben Carson is exactly the kind of person around whom conservatives can rally.

 

Chris Rock & Amanda Peet

Liberal celebrities using their fame to advance leftist causes is nothing new. Last month these two mental giants got together with a bunch of other gun haters and said a bunch of frowny-faceidiotic things about gun control. It is certainly their right to say whatever they want, but it is also my right to chastise them for their intellectual shortcomings. Rock in particular was in rare form, calling President Obama “our boss” and equating the President & First Lady with “our Mom & Dad”. No Mr. Rock. I have my own parents and I have a boss. The occupants of The White House are neither. We fought a Revolutionary War for a reason…maybe you should read up on that a bit.

 

The Groundhog(s)

As I write this I am looking out of one of the windows in The Bachelor Palace at a rather frowny-facerobust spate of snow. Odd, since back on Groundhog Day both the nationally recognized Punxsutawney Phil and our local harbinger of weather French Creek Freddie both were said to have seen their shadows indicating an early spring. Evidently groundhogs are liars and not to be trusted.

 

Aaron Klein

I am not sure exactly when this occurred, but I saw the story at the beginning of February. Mr. Klein is the owner of a bakery in Oregon and is currently under investigation by that Thumbs_upstate’s attorney general. Why?? Well, because Klein is a Christian and recently declined to make a “wedding” cake for a gay couple who were getting “married”. Klein faces a possible $50,000 fine and flat out said that his faith is more important than politically correct legalities and is willing to lose his business rather than violate his principles. Kudos.

 

Mayor Michael Bloomberg

Everyone knows that Mayor Bloomberg has been successful in getting sugary drinks larger than 16 ounces banned in NY City. What folks are just now beginning to understand is just how wide of a net that ban entails. Apparently pizza places will no longer be allowed to frowny-facedeliver 2 liter bottles of soda with customers’ food, and families can no longer share one big pitcher of pop. On top of this stupidity Bloomberg is now targeting Styrofoam, which he is actually kind of behind the times on since McDonald’s stopped using that more than two decades ago. This guy is a real piece of work. He’s just a political whore (he’s been a member of both parties and is now an independent) who abuses his power to restrict the freedoms of citizens. I don’t care how awesome The Big Apple is…I have no interest in ever going there until this idiot is long gone and his draconian laws have been reversed.  

 

Judge Ye Not

In recent years I have developed what I refer to as hermit-like tendencies. I have stated…only partly in jest…that if I were to ever win the lottery or otherwise come into a princely sum of cash that I would love to fake my own death, move to some remote island,mansion and hole up in a mansion reminiscent of stately Wayne Manor complete with Batcave (minus the bats). I’d have my books, Internet access, radio & TV, and of course Rocco. There would certainly be a few family & friends…my Dad, my sister & nephews, The Owl, and Greg…that would know the truth, but for the most part I’d be completely off the grid and I’d be happy. The reason is simple…humanity too often aggravates me and the less I am forced to interact with people the better I feel.

It wasn’t always this way. While I’ve never been an extrovert I have been a “people person” and enjoyed meeting & talking with different folks. A confluence of factors has led to my semi-withdrawal, probably beginning in 2006 with the two years of my life that was spent in hospitals, “skilled” nursing facilities, and homebound with medical issues that I won’t bore you with now because that’s not my purpose at the moment. It is adequate enough for my purpose here to state that solitude changes a man…alter’s one’s perspective in a deeply profound way that is difficult to reverse. At any rate, there have been other events & observations before & after that carved this path, but that was the major detour from which I’ve never quite returned to the main road…and I’m not sure I’d want to even if I could. Things happen for a reason and I’m okay with that fact.

My general unease & antipathy was recently reinforced in a truly eye opening way. And that’s saying something because I had heretofore been under the delusion that my eyes were wide open. I suppose there is always room to learn & grow.

Eph 1-7I cannot & will not go into any detail here, but suffice to say that an acquaintance of mine found themselves in some trouble…some pretty serious trouble. The story became public. What this person is accused of doing is dreadfully tragic. However, in America aren’t we all “innocent until proven guilty”?? And even if a person is guilty didn’t Jesus teach us that “he that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone”?? Doesn’t The Bible teach us about mercy, grace, & forgiveness?? Unfortunately modern American society doesn’t seem to believe in such principles…atleast when it comes to someone other than the person they see in the mirror each morning.

The story I am referring to was published on a website. Again the details are not important and not mine to divulge anyway. But I was truly saddened by the comments that dozens of readers left. I know Americans enjoy our blood sports, and I sincerely understand why the accusations involved evoked such passion & rage. Yet I couldn’t stop thinking…where is the mercy?? Folks were calling for this person to be shot, stabbed, beaten, burned, raped & murdered. And yes, some even suggested they be stoned, proving some familiarity with God’s Word but obviously not enough. This is all before a thorough investigation has been conducted and due process of law completely plays out. My my my…jump to conclusions much??

Look, I don’t know who did what in all this, but I do know a couple of things. I know that this person’s family is standing behind them and stepping up in ways that a month ago I am sure they never fathomed they’d be asked to do. This is a good, decent, close knit family. I am closer to the parents than the offspring and the little ones, and they are people with a deeply abiding faith, a strong moral center, and unquestionable love for one another. A few comments on the aforementioned article cast aspersions on the entire family rather than family_holding_handsjust the one person, which angered me tremendously since I know what kind of people they are. The fact that they are supporting their loved one is good enough for me and sufficient validation to doubt the veracity of the story as it is being portrayed in the media. Secondly, I know things that I have done in my life. No I have never killed anyone or committed any kind of violent act, but I have sinned in ways that I definitely wouldn’t want published in the local newspaper or discussed on television. I suspect many of you out there in the Manoverse might feel the same about your mistakes. As my relationship with God & our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ evolves & deepens I become more grieved by past errors and increasingly aware of when I choose the wrong path (which isn’t as often as it used to be but still far too much). I would hope that, if a wrong that I did ever grew into some kind of public spectacle, that others would grant me some level of mercy…but after these recent events I have my doubts.

What’s worse is that I can look back and see where I have been just as judgmental as the people who left those awful comments. I am far too quick to size up a person…assess their motives, assume their lack of moral fiber, and judge their actions. It is so easy to be reactionary in 21st century America. Social media gives us all an avenue to respond without thought, to opine without knowing all of the facts. Everyone is a critic, a pundit, and an expert. The mere fact that I can call myself a writer, publish The Manofesto, and dole out my viewpoint on anything I choose is proof of this. Who am I?? I am no better than you. I do sincerely believe that I don’t go off half-cocked and say anything too crazy in this forum, but in other situations I am easily angered and lack patience, understanding, wisdom, & compassion.

Jesus asks “Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye but do not consider the plank in your own eye?” and cautions us to “first remove the plank from your own eye, and handsthen you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” I am not advocating free reign. I am not saying that criminals should not be punished or that people should not be criticized when they make bad choices. But The Bible teaches us that “as iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend”, countenance in this case meaning character. Unfortunately too many of us spend a lot of time tearing others down instead of trying to help them or lead them to become better people.

I don’t have any easy answers or quick fixes for this issue. However, I can confidently say that we would all benefit from taking a moment to think…to look in the mirror and reflect on the mistakes that we’ve made and the skeletons we have in our closet whether they are big or relatively benign…before we haughtily lash out at others. No one is perfect…not you and certainly not me. The world would certainly benefit from more empathy & kindness rather than judgment, contempt, and anger.

 

Points of Ponderation…..Episode 1.13

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

 

 

 

I had originally planned to do an entire piece about the on-again gun control debate, but I honestly just don’t have the stomach for it at the present time. Between liberals who are hellbent & determined to spit all over The Constitution & do whatever it takes to take away the freedoms that our Founding Fathers deemed so important that they specifically enumerated them in the Bill of 2ndRights, and sanctimonious Christians who take passivity to a whole new level because their idea of Jesus is some sort of easygoing, “It’s all good. Just chill out & let it go dude”, submissive milquetoast who wouldn’t want us to stand up for what’s right…well, I’m just kind of exasperated by the whole thing. I had mentioned in the State of The Manofesto that I had decided to pretty much steer clear of sociopolitical debates at the moment, but I was going to make an exception on this very important topic. Not now. I think it is best for my mental & emotional buddyjesuswell-being if I just keep my opinions to myself, which kind of sucks since the charm of…dare I say the whole point of…writing a blog is to express one’s opinions, and when I feel restricted in my ability and/or desire to do that it kind of paints me into a corner.

 

 

MTV’s new show Buckwild has been a big topic of conversation here in West Virginia. It is generally not my protocol to condemn something without giving it a fair chance, but in this case I have no intention of ever watching the show. First of all, MTV wasn’t even my thing when MTV was cool & popular, and since now it has strayed completely away from its original purpose & openly caters to wvthe lowest common denominator it definitely isn’t worthy of my time & attention. Secondly, Buckwild has been compared to Jersey Shore, which is kind of like trying to get someone to taste your cooking by comparing it to vomit. No thank you. And finally, you must understand that I am born & bred in West Virginia. I am well aware of the positives & negatives of my home state. I choose to concentrate on the positive and try my best to ignore the negative whenever possible, but unfortunately pop culture rarely utilizes that tactic. West Virginia is usually the butt of the joke. We are portrayed as a bunch of illiterate hillbillies who do nothing but drink, smoke, party, listen to country music, go to the bathroom in an outhouse, and sleep with our relatives. I won’t deny that there is an element of our population that ratifies such stereotypes, but most of the folks I know are somewhat educated, dress well, drive decent cars, have jobs, speak clearly, and frown on inbreeding. That is my West Virginia, and so I will not give credence to a “reality” show that once again allows us to be a punchline. Your mileage may vary.

 

 

So the Oscar nominations have been announced. Of the 9 nominees for Best Picture I have seen only Lincoln, which is a very good film. I have a level of interest ranging from mild to moderate in seeing atleast 5 of the others but likely will not catch them until they are available on PPV or video-on-demand. It has always struck me as odd that apparently no great films are released for about the first nine months of the year in the eyes of The Academy. I realize it is kind of a “Which came the_dark_knight_rises_2012-t1first…the chicken or the egg??” kind of thing. Studios now just kind of follow the “rules”. They release their big budget action flicks & sequels in the summertime, and wait until late fall to unleash the more cerebral “Oscar worthy” films. But when did those rules come into play?? Who came up with them & why?? As tongue-in-cheek as The Sammy Awards may seem because of the way I present them thru the prism of my quirky sense of humor, I take them seriously to a certain extent and meant it when I said that The Dark Knight Rises is a true epic. I also said that it is “too good to overlook”, but apparently The Academy doesn’t share my tastes. It is disqualified from being considered “artistic” because it’s about a comic book character and was in theaters during the summer. That’s a load of poppycock in my humble opinion.

 

 

I have commented in the past about how much I enjoy the occasional haircut. Besides being a rather sensuous experience it also can provide an opportunity for a bit of innocent flirtation, a skill I like to practice whenever possible (although since I am 40 & single I’m obviously doing it wrong). However, I seem to have inadvertently developed the wrong ability. Now even though I am openly non-PC it is also never my intention to be mean-spirited or offensive, so that is not my goal here, but I must be honest. On atleast three occasions in the past several months…at different hair salons…I have eagerly anticipated some social interaction & meager physical contact with a lovely young lady only to be Hair Cutting Scissorswaited on by the one stylist that isn’t going to do anything other than provide (hopefully) a decent haircut. Yes, I am talking about the one male employee in the place…and he usually isn’t batting on my team if you catch my drift. Let me be perfectly clear…that person’s orientation is their own personal choice and has nothing to do with anything except the fact that it really kind of defeats part of my purpose. If I wanted a dude to cut my hair I’d go down the street to Joe Bob’s Barber Shop and get a fine haircut, as well as some stimulating conversation about sports & politics. When I choose the more…feminine…shop at the local mall or shopping plaza my intent has a broader purpose, and when I get stuck with a guy with frosted blonde hair who loves musicals & thinks Channing Tatum is OMG HOT it seemingly confirms my belief that God has a sense of humor and is really messing with me. Plus I end up with gel in my hair and look like a cross between Nathan Lane & the crippled kid on Glee. Yes I actually did watch that show once. It was horrifying, as if Saved by the Bell and Cop Rock had somehow crossbred and produced the worst TV show of all time.

 

 

Long time West Virginia U.S. Senator Jay Rockefeller has announced that he will not seek a 6th term in 2014. I know this will cause a lot of sleepless nights, upset stomachs, & nervous tics throughout my home state, but personally I am glad. I have never understood West Virginia’s love affair with rockyobama1Rockefeller, a wealthy carpet bagger who has simply used our state as a tool in his quest for power. It is a strange dichotomy that, in a state where most people detest “the rich” and can’t stand anyone who has more than they do (which is pretty much the entire rest of the country besides Mississippi and maybe Kentucky), a significant majority of people here have spent the past four decades voting for a man (first for Governor then for Senator) who is the very definition of an affluent, out-of-touch trust fund baby born with a silver spoon in his mouth that has never had to actually work a day in his life and cannot possibly have the slightest clue about the kinds of issues that most of his constituents face on a daily basis. Of course that description could fit almost the entirety of both chambers of Congress nowadays.

 

 

The State of The Manofesto 2013

As a new year dawns it is once again time to take stock of things here at The Manofesto and make some plans for the future, or atleast the next several months.

 

2012 was a good year. I achieved some internal goals in relation to the site, and even more importantly I have found that I have an increasing hunger to write. Sometimes I’ll be at church or out running errands and just can’t wait to get home to write. That’s not to say that I Still-Life-With-Inkwell,-Quill-And-Bookscouldn’t be more productive or don’t endure funky little lulls where the words just aren’t coming to me, but I have found that those moods have evened out a bit more and inspiration flows more steadily now, rather than seizing me like some sort of fit of insanity only to be followed by weeks or months of malaise. I am fortunate enough to have a job where oftentimes I have time to write, which is a fringe benefit I am in a unique position to appreciate.

 

I have been pleased with several of the things we’ve gotten done here in the past year, but better things are on the horizon.

 

football-introducing-the-science_1The Pigskin Picks of Profundity were a lot of fun to do, even if my career in the prognostication arts won’t ever make anyone in Vegas quake in their boots. In the classic sports film Tin Cup Costner’s characters says that “sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them”, but I would argue that picking football games could legitimately be thrown into that mix as well. Next season the tentative plan is for my eldest nephew Zach to join me in a slightly altered, Siskel & Ebert-esque version of the PPP’s. I have no doubt he’ll smoke me like a Virginia country ham. We’ll also get back on track with the Winning & Musing feature, which has sort of been put on the backburner during football season because this site is supposed to be an eclectic cornucopia of ponderation and not specifically sports-centric.

 

Thinking_ManIn the “everything old is new again” department I have decided to bring back two old favorites. A couple of years ago I discontinued Random Thoughts, choosing to exclusively utilize Twitter for pithy contemplations of life. However, I have found that sometimes 140 characters just doesn’t cut it. There are times when I have something more to say, yet not enough to warrant a standalone entry. So I think what I would like to do is have a regular feature where I pontificate on various minutiae. The details are not concrete at the moment, but I’ll work it out soon. Do I have enough discipline to commit to a consistently scheduled column?? A year ago I would have leaned toward “no”, but I kept up with the football picks pretty good so I think I can expand upon that. Secondly, a feature that I quickly canned when I brought The Manofesto to WordPress from MySpace a few years ago was the Person of the Month. Again, at the time I just didn’t have the focus to maintain such an obligation, but I am confident it won’t be a problem now. It is likely that we’ll actually do two persons of the month…a good & a bad, or in pro wrestling parlance a face & a heel. I’ll have it all figured out by the end of January.

 

Back in November the Presidential election really kicked me in the gut. I was quite despondent for a few days and pretty much ready to throw in the towel. I’ll even admit that my faith in God was shaken. We all know that the Jews…aka Israel…are God’s chosen people, but let’s face it…we Americans have always fancied ourselves His special silver medalists. After the events of November 6, 2012 I am not so sure that is the case anymore. While I still believe that each of us can have a relationship with Him on an individual basis if we so choose, it is clear to me that God has lost His patience with our nation and has decided that if we want to head down the wrong path then far be it for Him to stop our descent.cross-and-flag And really, who can blame Him?? The United States began to marginalize God and push Him out of various aspects of life a half century ago, so we deserve everything we get. But, though The Great Experiment may have finally crashed & burned, life goes on and we just have to re-adjust our focus and pick & choose our battles. That being said, don’t expect to see much of anything political here for the time being. I have been refraining from posting political stuff on Facebook & Twitter as much as possible and don’t really have any desire to write about such things here. I had already backed off a bit for most of 2012, but now I think a wise strategy is wholesale retreat. I still retain my beliefs, but am well aware that I am a combustible engine in a hybrid world. If the majority of the country wants to engage in class warfare, yield to economic mediocrity, embrace “alternative” (i.e. abhorrent) lifestyles, sacrifice traditional values & American exceptionalism, and spend their lives with their hands out expecting Big Government to hold them gently & whisper softly in their collective ear that everything is going to be just fine then hey, who am I to argue?? I’ll still get up every day, go to work, enjoy my life as much as possible, and write thought-provoking pieces at The Manofesto…..just not about sociopolitical topics.

 

Speaking of God…

I did make my triumphant return to church last spring after a one year absence. I have embraced it as the social gathering that it has become and enjoy it on that level. If some spiritual enlightening trickles down in the process it is a lovely but unexpected bonus. The duty of developing a relationship with Jesus Christ is on me, not a bunch of very nice people who nevertheless pretend to be something A Bible studythey aren’t for a couple of hours every Sunday morning. As a matter of fact, I need to stop being one of those lukewarm dabblers myself. Having said that, I am fully aware that a year ago I stated that I was going to begin a Bible study here at The Manofesto and have not followed thru. I have been on the cusp of a breakthrough with that particular task on multiple occasions but for some reason the inspiration never fully materializes. I think the idea is of sufficient significance that it is worth waiting on God’s green light and not forcing the issue, but my intention is to get the ball rolling in 2013. We will also continue with both the Sermon on the Mount & Fruits of the Spirit series, both of which I have neglected.

 

The other primary focus here in 2013 will likely be The Bookshelf. My apartment is filled with books that I have either never read, half read, or would need to read again in order to intelligently express an opinion here because it has been far too long since I originally read them. Right now the plan is to concentrate on three authors: Shakespeare, Twain, and Dickens, all of whom I enjoy immensely. Since I genuinely believe that Shakespeare is best experienced in a live performance rather than in a william-shakespearebook, and since I live in a town whose idea of comedy is Honey 353L12408_6M43ZBoo-Boo and tragedy is when the last pack of cigarettes in a carton is gone, my plan is to find the best possible performance of each play on video and watch it in conjunction with reading the play. As with all of my other long term projects I may not finish until I am old, grey, & arthritic, but I’ll get there eventually. In addition to those three authors I am sure there will be a smattering of others…a little Bradbury, maybe some Steinbeck, and possibly even some Faulkner, Heinlein, or more Stephen King. I have some biographies & non-fiction books that might be worth writing about too. I am also going to dive into James Bond. I must admit that I have never watched a single one of the nearly 2 dozen Bond films, but not long ago I ran across a set of the original Ian Fleming books on eBay for a terrific price and snapped them up. I think they’ll be a nice little diversion from the tedium of the daily grind.

 

cropped-eaglecleanlogo.gifAs always these plans are subject to change, but I am pretty comfortable with the blueprint I have in my head. I would really love to see The Manoverse experience some significant growth this year and know that the first order of business in meeting those expectations is to provide a reason for people to want to come here to spend a few minutes of their browsing time each day. Folks are busy…jobs, kids, social obligations, etc. But I know that most people spend atleast a little while online on a daily basis decompressing from the pressure cooker, and I would love it if The Manofesto became a favorite destination for anyone looking to chill out & maybe learn something interesting at the same time.

 

 

 

 

The Sammy Awards 2012 – Part 4: The Final Crusade of the Temple of the Lost Skull

Resin-Trophies-1348257350204After a brief delay we are pleased to welcome you to the thrilling conclusion of the 2012 Sammy Awards. If you have not yet done so please check out Part1, Part 2, and Part 3 before proceeding.

 

 

To present our next award The Manofesto is happy to bring together the cast of The Hangover The-Hangover_Justin-Bartha_tux.bmp1_Trilogy (The Hangover Part III will be coming to your local Cineplex this May). Please welcome Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifinakis, Ed Helms, & Justin Bartha. And the nominees are:

 

 

Best Movie

 

Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln…the 16th President of the United States for those of you in the southern reaches of Appalachia who’ve never been out of the holler but do inexplicably read The Manofesto…is generally considered by both Democrats & Republicans as one of our greatest leaders. It’s one of the few things both sides of the aisle can agree on these days. He was martyred, ended slavery, had that whole Civil War thing…what’s not to love?? This particular offering from Steven Spielberg is a modest, solicitous look at the last few months of President Lincoln’s life when his steadfast focus was on passage of the 13th Amendment, which outlawed slavery. I have more than a passing interest in politics (although I certainly wouldn’t describe myself as a political junkie) so I didn’t have any issues following the tale, but it is unlikely that this is a film that will appeal to everyone. So be it. Daniel Day-Lewis is remarkable in the titular role and should have another Oscar nomination coming his way soon. Sally Field & Tommy Lee Jones are as solid as we’ve come to expect them to be in whatever they are in, and I have to give kudos to known leftist Spielberg for not inserting any kind of offensive bias into the proceedings. Lincoln is what I describe as a quiet film, meaning that it isn’t abounding in special effects, gunfire, explosions, & violence. There is a story, there is dialogue, and there is good acting. It is simplicity at its best. Most chefs will tell you that a fine cut of meat is usually flavorful enough to be enjoyed on its own, without being bathed in sauces or marinades. The same goes for movies. I have a robust predilection for quiet movies. Your mileage may vary.

 

Rise of the Guardians

I used to think that animated films were for strictly for children and the parents that felt obliged to take their crumb crunchers to see them. However, in the past several years, with movies like the Toy Story trilogy, The Polar Express, and the Shrek series my opinion has evolved, and so I was excited to see this story about Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, The Sandman, and The Tooth Fairy recruiting Jack Frost to help them save the world from The Boogeyman. I’m not sure why Alec Baldwin uses an eastern European accent for Santa, but strangely enough it works. Santa also has tattoos, which is weird. Anyway, the story basically takes some of our beloved childhood fairy tale characters and turns them into ass kickin’ superheroes, a premise that I’d normally crap all over. However, like Santa’s strange accent, I mysteriously didn’t hate the idea. There is some subtle commentary about childhood, dreams, fear, and feeling invisible, but that is something that is probably only noticeable to geeks like me. For the target audience this is just a rollicking good time and there isn’t a thing wrong with that.

 

Joyful Noise

Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer to sing hymns in church rather than Michael Jackson or Wings cover tunes. That unfashionable attitude initially made me resistant to this story about a small town church choir trying to win a big time “gospel” music competition. You see, all of my life I have attended the same country church that I grew up just down the road from, and that has understandably framed my outlook on what a church should be. But eventually I decided to give this one a whirl, and I was satisfied with the outcome. Dolly Parton has starred in a few solidly entertaining films over the years, from Best Little Whorehouse in Texas to Steel Magnolias to 9 to 5, and she does her thing here acceptably well. Queen Latifah has never really frosted my cupcake, but I suppose she’s alright. The body count is a little too high for a romantic dramedy, which weirded me out just a bit. I really liked the other two leads…a luminescent Keke Palmer as Latifah’s daughter & newcomer Jeremy Jordan as Parton’s grandson. The music is cool even if it’s not really church music. Joyful Noise isn’t going to win any awards, but even a flawed film can be entertaining.

 

The Dark Knight Rises

I have not been a big fan of director Christopher Nolan’s vision for Batman. It’s too gritty & lifelike for my entertainment palate. Batman is a comic book creation so I prefer a film that reflects that. Tim Burton’s Batman movies, in my humble opinion, struck the right balance between the dark tone of the comics and the expectations we have of a superhero movie. The first movie in this trilogy was a decent enough origin story while the second was dominated by Heath Ledger’s manic portrayal of The Joker and the effusive praise that performance received in the wake of the young actor’s untimely demise. In this case though the third time is the charm, and I have to give Nolan & company credit for getting it done right and in style. This is the very definition of epic, with a complex storyline, interesting characters, intriguing plot twists, and just enough action to keep things moving. Michael Caine is exquisite as Bruce Wayne’s butler Alfred, and Gary Oldman is a strong, resolute Commissioner Gordon. Michael Keaton & Adam West are still my favorite Caped Crusaders and Christian Bale does nothing to alter that perspective here, but like a pedestrian quarterback on a team with a great defense Bale doesn’t have to singlehandedly win the game…his duty is simply to not screw it up. Bane is far from the most memorable villain in Gotham City’s rogue’s gallery, but I understand why he was chosen for this particular story. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts here, and it all comes together in a thrilling conclusion that crescendos nicely. I assume someone else will come along down the road, reboot the whole thing, and take it in a completely different direction, but Nolan lays the groundwork for what could be a captivating continuation or a slight detour with Nightwing as the central figure.

 

The Hunger Games

I really liked the Hunger Games trilogy of books, but I mentioned in my review of them that “I am looking forward to the movies because I believe they were the intended end game all along. I have a feeling that the Hunger Games movies will surpass the books’ achievements.” After seeing the first movie I am ready to backtrack on that statement ever so slightly. As most citizens of The Manoverse know, it is my belief that the book is almost always better than the movie, and in hindsight I think I was shortchanging these books. That being said this is still a fine movie. The powers-that-be nailed it when they chose Jennifer Lawrence to portray heroine Katniss Everdeen, and I really liked Woody Harrelson as deeper-than-you think drunkard Haymitch Abernathy. The movie follows the book pretty closely and there are very few significant alterations or omissions. Some of the choices the director made were interesting. This could have been a typical balls-to-the-wall action flick, but the filmmakers show an incredible amount of restraint, choosing gritty minimalism over CGI excess, which is admirable. I didn’t love some of the shaky, documentary style camera work, but that annoyance seems to dissipate as the story picks up steam. Overall the movie leaves a good impression. Whether or not it is a lasting one remains to be seen.

 

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

I absolutely love JRR Tolkien’s classic book The Hobbit, a prequel to the more acclaimed Lord of the Rings trilogy. It is one of my favorites, which is why I was simultaneously thrilled & apprehensive about it getting the big screen treatment. My concern increased when the auteur of the Rings trilogy of movies, Peter Jackson, decided that he’d direct The Hobbit as well and make another trilogy. You see, whereas Lord of the Rings really is three books therefore making three movies a logical choice, taking one book like The Hobbit and making it into three films seems more than excessive. In addition, tonally The Hobbit is vastly different than Lord of the Rings. The Hobbit is lighthearted, whimsical, and…accessible. Lord of the Rings is darker & quite the marathon. This is a movie that would have benefitted tremendously from a different perspective. However, there’s no use crying over spilt milk and at the end of the day what we ended up with is pretty darn good. Martin Freeman is the perfect choice to portray Bilbo Baggins, and anyone who liked the Rings movies should like The Hobbit.

 

Dark Shadows

Gothic soap opera Dark Shadows aired in the late 60’s before I was even a gleam in my father’s eye, so I came into this experience with no expectations and no preconceived notions. I’m a sucker for funny “fish out of water” stories, so I appreciated the humorous idea of an 18th century vampire being revived in the 1970’s. Johnny Depp is clearly having fun playing the role and it is all quite campy. I suppose this would be classified as a dark comedy, although my own personal preference would have been for the comedic aspect to be ramped up just a bit.

 

 

Trouble with the Curve

It’s been quite the year for Clint Eastwood. Everyone was talking about his appearance…one way or the other…at the Republican National Convention. He was in a Super Bowl commercial that stirred the pot a bit. He’s hosting the 2012 Sammy Awards. And he also found the time to star in a movie since that is primarily what he is known for. Curve is an inconspicuous little baseball flick about an aging scout who eschews modern technology & that new fandangled sabermetrics stuff in favor of good old-fashioned instinct & legwork. The suits in charge of the ball club are starting to question whether or not Gus (the name given to most old codgers in movies) still has the knack, and his job is on the line in evaluating a power hitting outfielder who might be the next big thing. There is some family melodrama too in the form of Gus’s daughter, a hotshot attorney whose relationship with her father is strained for no particular reason. When she discovers that Gus’s job is in jeopardy and that he is suffering from macular degeneration she puts her own career on hold to go on the road with the old man. Oh yeah…there is some romance thrown into the mix too when a young scout played by Justin Timberlake pursues the daughter. Eastwood is the go-to guy for crusty curmudgeon roles and there is a good reason for that…he’s great at doing them. Timberlake has become one of my favorite supporting actors and Amy Adams as the daughter is tough yet vulnerable, sweet but also benignly sexy. Is Trouble with the Curve a great movie?? Ehhh…probably not. But it’s not a bad way to spend a couple of hours.

 

Friends With Kids

You might have missed this one. If so it’s worth a rental. The story centers around two single 30-somethings who have witnessed their other friends get married, have children, and become absolutely miserable. Their solution?? Make a baby without all the relationship drama. They do just that, and even though all their married pals predict utter disaster the twosome defies the odds and their lives move along smoothly & happily…for awhile. Of course we see where this is headed because we’ve seen it before. But even though there is never any doubt about how the story ends the journey in getting there is fun & interesting. There are no big stars here, just good writing and an unblinking confrontation with the realities of marriage, kids, and the inherent despair those things oftentimes seem to create in modern America.

 

Hope Springs

If I am a Hollywood suit and someone pitches me an idea that’ll star Tommy Lee Jones & Meryl Streep there is a good chance I’d give the green light based solely on the casting. The legendary duo play Kay & Arnold, an aging married couple who have settled into a boring routine that makes my life look like an episode of 24. They even sleep in separate rooms. Kay enrolls them in a weeklong intensive marriage counseling course in Maine. Arnold thinks their life is just dandy and does not want to go, but eventually he acquiesces, proving that there is an old softy who does actually love his wife buried deep inside all those layers of stolid granite. Playing the couple’s therapist is funnyman Steve Carell, who employs a soft monotone straight out of that old SNL NPR parody The Delicious Dish. That works great here because it leaves Streep & Jones in the spotlight to do that thing they do. The doctor’s prescribed solution to their problem is for them to have sex, which seems a bit simplistic to me, but what do I know?? Needless to say the couple eventually works thru whatever the issues are and reconnect so that we get our happy ending. This is one of those stories that might have been a complete snoozefest without the right cast, but in the hands of craftsmen like Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones it becomes a thought-provoking look into the tedium of marriage. I am probably not the target audience for this film, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

 

This Is Forty

You may recall the 2007 rom-com Knocked Up in which slovenly funnyman Seth Rogen hooks up with the beautiful (and she knows it) Katherine Heigl. In that film Leslie Mann & Paul Rudd play Debbie & Pete, the sister & brother-in-law of Heigl’s character. This is a spinoff in which Debbie & Pete take center stage as a constantly bickering couple dealing with job pressures, financial problems, bratty kids, and latent Daddy issues. I love Paul Rudd. He steals just about every movie he is in and I am glad to see him given the opportunity to carry a film (although admittedly that didn’t work out so well in 2009’s I Love You, Man). I also dig writer/director/producer Judd Apatow, who is curiously morphing into this generation’s John Hughes right before our very eyes. I am not married nor do I have children but, even though I am sure most couples don’t fight constantly like this pair, I am just as sure that there are some truths in the story that lots of folks will recognize and smile knowingly. Kudos must be given to Albert Brooks, an underrated comic gem whose presence here as Rudd’s father adds a much needed respite from the bickering. This film is superior to its predecessor, although it is an unfair comparison on many levels.

 

 

People Like Us

Chris Pine has the potential to become one of my favorite actors. He achieved the impossible in 2009…took over the role of Captain James Tiberius Kirk from William Shatner in a Star Trek reboot that not even noted Trekkie & cantankerous critic of pop culture The Owl could bring himself to dislike. I’ve seen him in a few other TV shows & movies, but he is just now becoming a star. In this interesting character study Pine plays a down-on-his-luck corporate barterer (whatever that is) named Sam whose estranged father dies. Upon going home for the funeral Sam is given a wad of cash ($150K) to deliver to a person he’s never heard of. Since he really really really needs the money and his father left him absolutely nothing he is tempted to just skip town and not find the mysterious person to whom dear old Dad bequeathed such an inheritance, but curiosity gets the better of him. I don’t think it’s a major spoiler to reveal that the person in question ends up being Sam’s sister, a single mother who is struggling even worse than he is. He doesn’t come straight out & tell her who he is for various reasons, but they form a bond and he also gets to know his nephew. There’s no action, no gun battles, no car chases. This is another quiet movie…a story about people, relationships, motivation, secrets, and lies. It is well written and the performances by Pine, Elizabeth Banks, and Michelle Pfeiffer (who is apparently eligible to play hot grandmas now) are understatedly pleasant. It’s not going to win any critical acclaim, but I liked it and in The Manoverse that’s all that matters.

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

The Dark Knight Rises. I may not have cared for the first two films in Nolan’s Batman trilogy, but the final installment is too good to overlook. To compare this movie to your typical 21st century action flick (Transformers, Fast & Furious, anything starring Tom Cruise or Will Smith) is like comparing foie gras to Vienna sausages. Batman here is akin to the shark in Jaws in that we really don’t see all that much of him (we see much more of Bruce Wayne), but that minimalist approach is utilized to great effect. The story starts out a little slow before building to a stirring climax, which I dark_knight_logorealize may not be cool with a lot of modern viewers. So many movies offer balls-to-the-wall action from the opening credits to the final scene that it has become what people are used to and what they expect. This is a movie that takes time to tell a story, to offer a plot with layers and intricate context, to develop characters and relationships…all things that I wholeheartedly embrace. The fight scene between Batman & Bane that so many fans of the comics have been salivating about in anticipation plays out differently than what one might expect. It is raw & physical, not some elaborate effects laden dance sequence. Three plot twists at the end…Bruce Wayne’s fate, the identity of the real villain behind all the mayhem, and the reveal of the possible future of the franchise…are well done and probably clinched this award. The ending of a movie is always important, and the last 15 minutes or so of this one is sensational.

 

 

To present the final award of the evening it is truly a privilege to bring to The Manoverse the 43rd6a00d8341c630a53ef0133ed0512cc970b-600wi (111x237) President of the United States and his lovely First Lady. Please give a rousing ovation to George W. & Laura Bush. And the nominees are:

 

 

 

Biggest News Story

 

Presidential Election

On November 6, 2012 we elected a President of the United States. You may have heard a thing or two about it. From the hotly contested yet kind of boring Republican primary season thru the national conventions in the summer to the general election process this was a story that dominated headlines pretty much on a daily basis.

 

Trayvon Martin Shooting

Back in February 17 year old Martin was shot & killed while visiting a gated community near Orlando, FL. The gunman was a young man named George Zimmerman who was part of the community’s neighborhood watch program. Zimmerman claims that Martin looked suspicious and that after he had contacted law enforcement the teenager attacked him which is why he shot him in self-defense. The fact that Martin was a young black man stirred the pot and took the story from just another shooting to a national firestorm. Was Martin an innocent teenager in the wrong place at the wrong time, or was he a juvenile delinquent who was out to cause trouble?? Is Mr. Zimmerman a dirty racist murderer or just an overzealous cop wannabe who became cornered by a thug and did what he had to do to protect himself?? We might not ever know the real story, but we’ll hear about all this again when Martin goes on trial this coming summer.

 

Unemployment

The unemployment rate was right around 7.5% when President Obama took office four years ago. At the beginning of 2012 it was up over 8%. This is in comparison to the 4.5-5% rate for the majority of the George W. Bush years. And we don’t even know if the number is accurate because there are so many people that have just completely given up looking for a job. One must also take into consideration how many people are employed but making a paltry wage in the $7-9/hr. range, which is certainly not enough to properly take care of a family or achieve any goals other than the next meal. It doesn’t seem to matter to a lot of folks these days though because Big Government will take care of them, which of course makes a lot of the politicians happy because it’ll keep them in power. Oh what a tangled web we weave.

 

The Death of Whitney Houston

On February 11 the world was saddened (although not shocked) to learn of the untimely passing of pop superstar Whitney Houston, who was found dead in a bathtub at a Beverly Hills hotel. I loved Whitney Houston when I was 14 years old. She was one of my first celebrity crushes. She was gorgeous & had a set of pipes that would melt even the iciest of hearts. Unfortunately she got hooked up with that jackass Bobby Brown and the two of them became just another clichéd Hollywood joke. Like so many people in modern America Houston became addicted to drugs, and apparently despite public proclamations to the contrary she never completely defeated those demons. How very tragic.

 

Supreme Court’s Mixed Ruling on Arizona Immigration Law

Controversy has been brewing in Arizona for a couple of years due to the passage there of a law designed to limit illegal immigration. Without delving into boring details let’s just say that the law imposed tough restrictions, requirements, & penalties on illegal immigrants. Almost immediately there were accusations from liberals that the law was nothing more than racial profiling and that it was unconstitutional. Queue The Supreme Court, who ruled this past June that the part of the law in which law enforcement can check on the immigration status of a detainee if they deem it necessary is okay, but struck down a large chunk of the law related to requiring individuals having to have documentation of their immigration status with them at all times and allowing police officers to randomly ask people to show such paperwork.

 

Facebook IPO Epic Fail

You have a Facebook page. I have a Facebook page. Most everyone not going to dinner at 4pm and telling troublesome neighborhood youths to get off their damn lawn probably has a Facebook page. That’s why the company going public seemed like such a slam dunk. I actually pondered the idea of pooling some cash with some friends and buying a few shares just for fun. In hindsight I am glad we didn’t go thru with the idea. Back in November Facebook began trading publicly on NASDAQ with much anticipation. The first day was disappointing but still successful. But over the next few weeks the price of the stock fell and Facebook became the stock market equivalent of the movie Gigli or the NFL career of Ryan Leaf. Somehow though I think Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, with his bank account of $9 billion, will weather the storm and not lose any sleep over the debacle.

 

Benghazi

On September 11 the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya was attacked. Four people were killed, including Ambassador Christopher Stevens. Ten others were injured. The Obama Administration tried to blame the attack on an anti-Muslim film that had been posted on YouTube and had been seen by less people than I rode with on an elevator today. Conservatives quickly labeled the Obama response as pure poppycock, and questions began to arise about what really happened, why it happened, what the administration really knew, and why they were so hellbent on lying about it. I believe there are still some Congressional committees looking into the matter, but at this stage it is likely a moot point.

 

The End of Twinkies & Ho-Ho’s

I make no secret of the fact that I am a chocoholic. You want to take pop away from me?? Okay, I can deal. Tell me that alcohol can never touch my lips again and I won’t even bat an eye because I don’t drink anyway. Tell me I have to be celibate for the rest of my life and never again enjoy the touch of a beautiful woman and I might cringe a bit but I’ll be just fine. But threaten to take away my sweets and we’ve got a problem. I love it all…candy, cake, ice cream, cookies. So in November when Hostess announced that it was going out of business and that snacks like Twinkies, Ho Ho’s, Zingers, Ding Dongs, and those little cupcakes with the swirly icing on top…not to mention Wonder Bread…would be disappearing forever from grocery store shelves I kind of felt like I did when I was 9 years old and my pet frog jumped out of his bowl never to be seen again. Thankfully there is a likely reprieve from this death sentence in the works, as various companies are in a bidding war to buy the rights to these products from Hostess. When fair & festival season rolls around next summer we just might still be able to pay $6 for a deep fried Twinkie. God Bless America.

 

Superstorm Sandy

There is almost always one or two big natural disasters to talk about when reflecting upon a just passed year, and in 2012 it was Superstorm Sandy or Hurricane Sandy (I’ve seen it called both) which inflicted mayhem on the eastern seaboard of the country, especially New York & New Jersey, in late October. It is said to be the largest Atlantic hurricane (meaning it formed in the North Atlantic Ocean) on record and the 2nd costliest, doing about $65 billion worth of damage. It also played a key role in the Presidential election, as there were actually idiots out there who made a last minute decision to overlook the past 4 years of misery and vote for Obama because he “looked Presidential” for a day or two in the wake of the disaster, and New Jersey Governor Chris Christie practically made sweet love to the President because he answered a few phone calls and dropped by for a visit for an hour or two. It is my understanding that there are still people in Jersey dealing with the problems caused by the storm, which is a damning indictment of how we use tragedies as political pawns in 21st century America but don’t really do what needs to be done to truly help people over the long haul.

 

Shootings in Aurora, CO & Newtown, CT

We’ve become almost numb to gun violence in America. It’s just something that happens occasionally and we aren’t all that shocked anymore when it does. However, two incidents in 2012 seemed to awaken the masses and spur debates about gun control, mental health issues, and a whole host of ancillary topics. On Friday July 20 a gunman opened fire at a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado during a midnight showing of the newest Batman film The Dark Knight Rises. Twelve people were killed and 58 others injured. I go to the movies often myself, and I am a huge Batman fan. As a matter of fact I had seriously pondered the idea of attending the midnight showing at my local theater but ultimately decided against that idea. It is awful to think that something as fun & innocuous…something so American…as going to a movie isn’t even immune from real life violence anymore. Then on December 14…less than two weeks before Christmas…a 20 year old lunatic busted into Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut and killed 26 people, 20 of them children ages 6 & 7. We might have become nonchalant about violence in this country, but when innocent kids are senselessly murdered we stop & pay attention. Unfortunately, as tends to happen with these types of tragedies, it was quickly turned into a political football, with leftists and Hollywood hypocrites with no shortage of armed bodyguards resuming their incessant cries for gun control. I understand the logic…I really do. Regrettably however we seem to have lost the ability in this country to have an intelligent & thoughtful debate about important issues. We are a nation of reactionaries on both sides of the political spectrum and at the end of the day everyone loses. I cannot imagine the pain & sorrow the parents of those children have been suffering thru, and I am sure it was the worst Christmas of their entire lives. To me that is what must not get lost in the shuffle here. I pray that God wraps his loving arms around these families and helps them somehow resume their lives and find a way to move forward, although I cannot wrap my head around any scenario in which that’d even be possible.

 

Supreme Court Upholds Obamacare

I am a huge fan of pro wrestling, and in wrestling one of the fun things that happens occasionally is a heel turn. That is when a good guy turns bad by screwing over his tag team partner or suddenly telling the fans that have cheered him that he thinks they are losers and he doesn’t need their support anymore. Chief Justice John Roberts did a heel turn last June when he became the deciding vote in upholding the crime against freedom & economic sanity that is nationalized health care, better known as Obamacare. Roberts was thought to be a conservative, but instead proved himself to be just another political whore when he ruled that it was perfectly okay for the U.S. government to coerce free citizens into purchasing healthcare coverage or else go to prison. Roberts ruled that Obamacare is a tax, even though President Obama himself had spent years saying that it wasn’t. If it is a tax…which I guess it has to be or else it’d be unconstitutional…Obamacare is the largest tax increase in the history of the United States. Good job Roberts…you jackass.

 

The Fiscal Cliff

The last few weeks of 2012 were dominated by incessant discussion of this fiscal cliff. In a nutshell the dawning of a new year was scheduled to bring about spending cuts & tax hikes that would have cut the budget deficit but also would have led to another recession (that is if you believe that we aren’t still in one now anyway) and would have wreaked havoc on the finances of nearly all Americans. There was the typical struggle between Democrats & Republicans…one side with a fervent desire to raise taxes, punish achievement & success, & keep on spending money like drunken sailors on social programs that will keep their handout loving voter base happy, and the other side pledging to not raise taxes & desiring to slash spending like Freddy Krueger on a crack high. Of course this deal couldn’t get done way ahead of time. Where would the drama be in that?? As a matter of fact the deal wasn’t technically done on time but a few hours late. From what I understand the Republicans caved like the Buffalo Bills in a Super Bowl, and the Democrats are proud as peacocks. That’s what happens after an election…to the victor go the spoils. It’s just too bad that you & I will be literally paying for this debacle out of our own paychecks.

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

The Election. I certainly didn’t like the results, but there is no denying the fact that for the vast majority of 2012 it was the lead story on a daily basis. I will refrain from going off on one of my infamous political rants. The fact is that my side lost this time and I have to deal with it. I cannot resist the urge though to point out that it is less than a week into the new year and my paycheck has already been affected in a negative way. But of course most of the 51% responsible for the debacle that occurred on that fateful Tuesday in November wouldn’t know anything about that since they are unemployed and/or sitting around smoking their cigarettes, drinking their cheap beer, watching those idiotic Kardashian twits whore it up on TV.

 

 

 

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astronauts Neil Armstrong & Sally Ride…entertainment icon Dick Clark… Pulitzer, Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Golden Globe, and Tony award winning composer & conductor Marvin Hamlisch…authors Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451, The Martian Chronicles), Maurice Sendak (Where the Wild Things Are), Gore Vidal, and Stephen Covey (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)…singers Whitney Houston, Andy Williams, Etta James, Levon Helm, Donna Summer, Kitty Wells, and Robin Gibb (The Bee Gees)… General Norman Schwarzkopf…comedienne Phyllis Diller…baseball Hall of Famer Gary Carter…actresses Kathryn Joosten (The West Wing, Desperate Housewives), Deborah Raffin (7th Heaven), and Celeste Holm (Gentleman’s Agreement, All About Eve)…retired NFL stars Junior Seau, Freddie Solomon, Blair Kiel, Alex Karras, and Ben Davidson…Atari & Commodore CEO Jack Tramiel…Soul Train impresario Don Cornelius…disgraced football coach Joe Paterno…hairstylist Vidal Sassoon…infamous police punching bag Rodney King…Boston Red Sox legend Johnny Pesky…automobile designer Carroll Shelby…amplification specialist Jim Marshall…political pundits Tony Blankley and Andrew Breitbart…legendary collegiate coaches Gene Bartow (basketball), Darrell Royal (football), and Rick Majerus (basketball)…game show hosts Richard Dawson (Family Feud) and Bill Raftery (Card Sharks)…director Tony Scott (Top Gun, Crimson Tide, Days of Thunder)…sports commentators Jim Huber and Beano Cook…former U.S. Senators Arlen Specter & Warren Rudman, former Governor George McGovern, and Hawaii Senator Daniel Inouye…former WV Mountaineer football coach Bill Stewart…Unification Church founder Rev. Sun Myung Moon…screenwriter/director Nora Ephron (Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally)…motivational speaker Zig Ziglar…songwriter Hal David (Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head, What the World Needs Now Is Love, I Say a Little Prayer)…former Cleveland Browns owner Art Modell…journalists Mike Wallace (60 Minutes) and Helen Gurley Brown (Cosmopolitan)…artists Leroy Neiman and ”Painter of Light” Thomas Kinkade…pro wrestling legend Chief Jay Strongbow…baseball executive Lee McPhail…fashion designer Nolan Miller…former Supreme Court nominee Robert Bork…musicians Earl Scruggs, Ronnie Montrose, Davy Jones, Dave Brubeck, and Donald “Duck” Dunn…boxing historian Bert Sugar…former Patriots/Giants/Jets coach Ron Erhardt…impressionist Steve Bridges…former MLB union leader Marvin Miller…infamous mobster Henry Hill (the inspiration for Goodfellas)…retired pro wrestlers Doug Furnas, Mike Graham, Bobby Jaggers, Buddy Roberts, & Brad Armstrong…NFL Films guru Steve Sabol…former White House counsel Charles Colson…retired boxer Hector “Macho” Camacho”…actors Andy Griffith, Larry Hagman (Dallas, I Dream of Jeannie), Jack Klugman (Quincy, The Odd Couple), Ernest Borgnine (McHale’s Navy, The Poseidon Adventure), Ben Gazzara, Ron Palillo (Welcome Back Kotter), William Windom (To Kill A Mockingbird, Planes, Trains, & Automobiles), George Lindsey (Goober from The Andy Griffith Show), James Farentino (Dynasty), Sherman Hemsley (The Jeffersons), Chad Everett, Herbert Lom (The Pink Panther series), Sage Stallone (Rocky V), Robert Hegyes (Welcome Back Kotter), John Ingle (General Hospital), Charles Durning (The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, Scarface, Dog Day Afternoon), and Michael Clarke Duncan (The Green Mile, Daredevil, The Whole Nine Yards)