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Heroes & Heels…..May 2013

May hasn’t been a particularly productive month here at The Manofesto. Just another one of my infamous funks. But atleast I am bringing you this edition of H&H on time for once!! We shall see what we can do to get June off to a rousing start, but in the meantime, as always these are the individuals & entities from the past month that I feel deserve my particular brand of praise or scorn. Please enjoy, and stay tuned for some fun & interesting things coming to The Manoverse!!

 

 

 

 

Dan Lebatard

NBA star Lebron James celebrated the first week of May by receiving his 4th League MVP award. King James received 120 of 121 votes, so even with the tremendous honor being bestowed a firestorm quickly developed aimed straight at the lone rebel who denied James a unanimous vote. Somehow a rumor blew up that Lebatard, a sportswriter for the Miami Herald and host of ESPN’s Dan Lebatard is Thumbs_upHighly Questionable, was the person who cast his vote for Carmelo Anthony instead of James. How did Dan react?? Perfectly in my opinion. He did not deny the rumor and instead chose to simply retweet all the hilariously sad vitriol hurled his way on Twitter. Anyone who follows his feed was entertained for hours by the total overreaction of overzealous Miami Heat fans. It turns out that the Anthony vote was courtesy of a sportswriter in Boston and that Lebatard doesn’t even have an MVP vote. Kudos to Dan Lebatard for hysterically playing the masses for the fools that they too often are and getting himself some free publicity without ever saying a word. Well played sir…well played.

 

Jay Mohr

Another day, another out-of-touch Hollywood liberal. As long as these idiots are around I’ll always have fodder for H&H. Mohr…a moderately successful comedian & actor with a smokin’ hot wife…tweeted after the Boston marathon bombings (a tragedy that, frowny-faceironically enough, didn’t even involve guns) that “the 2nd Amendment must go”.  I am a solutions oriented guy, so let me offer an olive branch to Mohr & his ilk. We conservatives may possibly be more open to new stricter gun laws IF you and your friends are willing to get Roe vs. Wade overturned. Gun violence kills about 30,000 Americans each year. Abortion kills over 1.2 million babies annually. Checkmate assclown.

 

Homer Hickam

Hickam is a West Virginia native and an actual rocket scientist. He is also an author, best known for his 1998 autobiographical tome Rocket Boys, which was developed into the 1999 film October Sky starring Jake Gyllenhaal. A few weeks ago he stepped in to offer support to 16 year old Keira Wilmot, a Florida high school student who had been suspended and arrested after a science experiment Thumbs_upcaused a small explosion at school. No one was hurt and no damage was done, but we live in a PC “no tolerance” society in 21st century New America, and the young woman’s intellectual curiosity and willingness to take a chance in the name of science was obviously frowned upon by the “education” establishment. Enter Homer Hickam, who not only applauded Wilmot’s efforts but rewarded her with a scholarship to the United States Advanced Space Academy in Huntsville, Alabama. USASA “offers a college-accredited program through the University of Alabama in Huntsville that includes STEM education plus college and career preparation”, and I think it is safe to say that this young lady will learn more in her brief time at Space Camp than she ever has during her years being indoctrinated in public school.

 

IRS

The Internal Revenue Service has long been regarded as one of the more evil entities of the overinflated United States Government. No frowny-faceone enjoys paying taxes, especially when the funds are increasingly utilized to support social programs that allow lazy bums to enjoy the fruits of the labors of those who do work for a living. It has recently come to light that during the past few years (i.e. during the Hussein Obama era) the IRS has purposely derailed the applications of conservative groups seeking tax exempt status. If such a thing would have happened during a Republican presidency that President would have already been impeached, but for obvious reasons Mr. Obama is more Teflon that John Gotti ever was.

 

Charles Ramsey

On May 6 three young women…Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michele Knight…who had all been missing for about a decade…wereThumbs_up able to escape their captor with help from Ramsey. He was just enjoying a Big Mac in his Cleveland, OH neighborhood when he heard screaming and assisted the young ladies and called 911. I wonder how many other people would have simply walked away and chose not to get involved.

 

Jodi Arias

I don’t follow these criminal trials that the media selectively chooses to sensationalize, and this one was no frowny-faceexception. But one couldn’t help but hear a little about this case in recent weeks. Arias is a 32 year old Arizona woman that was convicted of murdering her ex-boyfriend. She tried to claim self-defense, but the fact that the guy was stabbed 29 times, his throat was slit, and he was shot in the head betrayed that theory. Sometimes I’m really glad to be single.

 

Tiger Woods & Sergio Garcia

Two of professional golf’s brightest stars apparently don’t like each other. I don’t know why and I don’t care. All I know is that it frowny-facebecame a story a few weeks ago and both parties came across like petulant children. Shut up and hit your little white ball into the hole.

 

Ed Buckner

Buckner is a well-known atheist, which is his right as an American. But like so many atheists Mr. Buckner doesn’t seem to grasp the actual meaning of our Constitution. He whined like a little girl when he found a Bible in his cabin at a state park in Georgia. The Georgia DNR removed the Bibles from the park but soon thereafter they were put back on orders from Governor Nathan Deal. An frowny-faceorganization called the Freedom from Religion Foundation got involved, and that tells us all we need to know. Why?? Well, because The Constitution of the United States guarantees all Americans freedom OF religion…not freedom FROM religion. I’m sick to death of atheists & liberals who don’t understand the difference. Specifically the First Amendment states that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” So unless the government tries to institute a national religion then no one has anything legitimate to get all worked up about. Here’s an idea Mr. Buckner…if you see a Bible and it offends you leave it in a drawer and don’t read it!!

 

Prospect Park

Yes I’m a soap opera fan. My sister and I had a babysitter who got us interested in Days of Our Lives and General Hospital when we were in grade school and we’ve both watched for over 30 years. Over time I became a fan of a few other shows as well. In 2012 one of those shows, One Life to Live, was cancelled by ABC. Prospect Park, a Hollywood production company, snapped up the rights for OLTL (as well as All My Children…which I never watched) and announced plans to show it online. The plans seemingly fell thru and three of frowny-faceOLTL’s more popular actors brought their characters to General Hospital. A year later Prospect Park renewed their plans and sued ABC over GH using the OLTL characters, forcing GH to write out those characters and clumsily bring back the actors as whole new characters. Then, a month after OLTL and AMC were relaunched on The Internet for four shows per week Monday-Thursday Prospect Park announced that they were cutting back and each show would only be on 2 days per week each. They spewed forth some sort of poppycock about viewing patterns or something. It was all total BS and a vague attempt to force viewers of one show or the other to watch both shows. I don’t know what kind of substandard incompetent organization Prospect Park is, but their actions have been total bush league and this humble Potentate of Profundity is now a former OLTL viewer as a result of the whole mess.

 

Kylie Bisutti

Ms. Bisutti is a former Victoria’s Secret model who gave it all up for The Lord. She decided that her job conflicted with her beliefs and Thumbs_upchose her faith over money & fame, saying that her body is a sacred temple and should only be be…ummm…enjoyed…by her husband. She further concluded that lingerie models are not good role models for young girls and that they lead men into temptation (ain’t that the truth). Kudos to Ms. Bisutti for walking away from the kind of life that the world promotes as a dream come true and not allowing herself to be “conformed to this world” but instead being “transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

 

Bette Midler

Yet another out-of-touch celebrity. While yours truly thinks imprisonment and impeachment should be the result frowny-faceof the IRS’s appalling breach of the public trust “The Divine Miss M” actually thanked them, saying she loves the IRS for targeting The Tea Party and other conservative groups. What can possibly be said about that level of stupidity?? There aren’t words.

 

The Indy 500

By most accounts the 2013 Indianapolis 500 was a rousing success. At 2 hours 40 minutes it was the fastest one ever. There were a record 68 lead changes…doubling the old record…and 14 different leaders (another record). More cars stayed in the race and on the lead lap than ever before, mostly due to the fact that there were fewer laps run under caution than ever before. However, all this frowny-faceexcitement led to a yellow flag finish that was anticlimactic and a complete dud. Hardcore Indy car fans seemed jazzed about winner Tony Kanaan finally capturing the Borg-Warner Trophy after a dozen previous tries, but just because the winner is a nice guy doesn’t mean the result is anything to be applauded. I am not an engineer nor a ‘car guy’, but I am aware that there are safety concerns in regard to open wheel racing trying a green-white-checkered finish like NASCAR. However, these are smart people and I am quite positive they could figure something out. I am sure Kanaan is enjoying the spoils of war, but I don’t understand how it could feel like anything more than an empty victory.

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Winning & Musing…..Volume 5.13

Today we go off the beaten path just a bit, with golf, the NBA, and a marathon. And I honestly wish I was addressing the sports aspect of the latter, but as you can probably guess that’s not the case.

 

 

 

The whole Tiger Woods controversy at The Masters was fascinating. First of all, I have no issue with him being assessed a two shot penalty versus being outright disqualified. New rules were put in place a few years ago for these exact kinds of circumstances. I’m not sure who is more obnoxious…golf purists or baseball purists. Anyone who was calling for Tiger Woods to DQ himself is an idiot. Secondly, tigerI’m not sure why a rules official wasn’t on hand to direct the situation on the course. Part of the blame there has to go to Tiger himself, as he should have ask for guidance rather than being cocky and assuming he knew the proper protocol. I have an issue as well with the fact that officials did review the incident while Tiger was still on the course and said everything was kosher only to reverse themselves after he’d signed his scorecard and left the premises. That is squarely on them…not him. And let’s talk about why they reversed their initial decision. The reversal was based on two things: a interview in which Woods inadvertently & unknowingly “told on himself” after the round, and a phone call in which a television viewer ratted Tiger out. In the future anyone in serious contention at The Masters or any other golf tournament should absolutely refuse all interviews based on what happened here lest they say something to incriminate themselves. And how exactly does one simply pick up the phone and call the Augusta National Golf Club in the midst of the sport’s premier event?? Is the number in the yellow pages?? I think some regrettable precedents were set at the 2013 Masters that may someday come back to haunt the PGA.

 

 

nbaOkay NBA…now is your time to shine. Citizens of the Manoverse know that I don’t pay close attention to pro basketball until the playoffs begin, and that occurs this weekend. In the east the matchups look like this:

 

           

            1 Miami Heat           vs.       8 Milwaukee Bucks

            2 New York Knicks vs.       7 Boston Celtics

            3 Indiana Pacers     vs.       6 Atlanta Hawks

            4 Brooklyn Nets      vs.       5 Chicago Bulls

There’s no way Milwaukee beats Miami. I’ll be surprised if that series isn’t an easy sweep for the Heat. I’d like to think Boston can give the Knicks a good run but I think they’re just too old. I don’t think Indiana will have much of a problem beating Atlanta. The 4/5 series might stand a good chance of going seven games, but even if Derrick Rose doesn’t return to the court I think the Bulls will win. Ultimately I think it’ll come down to a Heat-Pacers conference finals, with Miami winning in 5 games.

 

The west looks like this:

 

            1 Oklahoma City Thunder vs.     8 Houston Rockets

            2 San Antonio Spurs          vs.       7 Los Angeles Lakers

            3 Denver Nuggets            vs.       6 Golden State Warriors

            4 Los Angeles Clippers      vs.       5 Memphis Grizzlies

The west feels like it’ll be infinitely more entertaining & unpredictable than the east. I could see all of these series going 6 or 7 games. The Lakers seem to be a popular pick to pull an upset, but that ain’t happening without Kobe Bryant and he’s out with an injury. At the end of the day I gotta go straight chalk in the first round. I think it all boils down to a Spurs-Clippers conference finals, with San Antonio pulling it out in 7 games.

That means an NBA Finals pitting the Miami Heat vs. the San Antonio Spurs, and as much as I would love to see Tim Duncan ride off into the sunset with another ring after defeating the despicable Heat I just can’t go there. It looks like another ring for that assclown Lebron James and his posse. My apologies to the fine citizens of Cleveland, OH.

 

 

To call the bombing at the annual Boston Marathon regrettable would be a huge understatement. As a lifelong sports fanatic I find it appalling when any such event is marred by tragedy. Sports are supposed to be an escape. They are supposed to be fun. Sure there is a lot of money on the line for everyone involved in any sport (especially the professional leagues for the big three…football, baseball, & basketball), and certainly there are fans who take things a Boston-Marathon-bombing-screenshotbit too seriously and are far more emotionally invested than might be healthy, but at the end of the day I think most people understand the difference between whatever the sports story du jour may be and “real” life. When that line is blurred, as it has been with this bombing in Boston, I as a fan feel violated on multiple levels. We don’t yet know if this act of terror was perpetrated by a group like Al Qaeda or a lone individual with some serious psychological issues, and it has yet to be determined if it was done as a political or religious statement or simply because the person(s) were angry about a less significant yet more personal issue, but I am sure the wheels of justice will eventually provide answers. However, after all is said & done the damage is irreversible. Three people (including a small child) are dead. Nearly 200 people were injured, some catastrophically so. Their lives will never be the same. The Boston Marathon will never be the same. And we seem to have segued into an age in 21st century New America where we can no longer gather in large groups and enjoy something as innocent & pleasurable as a sporting event without having to take precautions, consider possible consequences, and ponder potentially negative outcomes that we never would have fathomed just a decade or two ago, which is a damn shame.

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