80’s Movie Mania: Tubular Round 1

Welcome back to 80’s Movie Mania!! Unfortunately I’m still not getting the interactive response I’d hoped for, so I am forced to make decisions on the polls I posted for the first round of the Bodacious Division. To that end: Weekend at Bernie’s conquers Bachelor Party, Cocktail beats Stripes, and Iron Eagle defeats An Officer & A Gentleman. Now we move on to first round matchups in the Tubular Division. I am persistent so there will be more polls. Please vote. Enjoy!!

 

 

 

Tubular – Round 1

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure   vs.   History of the World Part I
btdThis is a matchup for all you history buffs!! Bill and Ted are two California stoners destined to do great History-of-the-World-Part-1-mel-brooksthings in the future…if only they can pass their high school history exam. To help them in their 1989 epic adventure George Carlin travels back in time in a phone booth and introduces the two mindless teens to historical figures like Billy the Kid, Napoleon Bonaparte, Socrates, Sigmund Freud, Beethoven, & Abraham Lincoln. As you might imagine it’s a pretty funny trip thru the ol’ space-time continuum. A sequel came out a couple of years later but it lacks the magic of the original. The 1981 epic History of the World Part 1 is written, produced, & directed by the legendary Mel Brooks. It is comprised of short segments parodying events set in The Stone Age, The Old Testament Biblical era, The Roman Empire, The Spanish Inquisition, & The French Revolution and stars some pretty big names like Orson Welles (who narrates), Dom Deluise, Sid Caesar, Shecky Greene, Harvey Korman, Bea Arthur, Cloris Leachman, & Brooks himself. The humor is kind of old school vaudeville mixed with Americanized Python-esque zaniness…and it works.

The Verdict: Okay Manoverse…I’m giving you another shot here. Can we get atleast 10 votes on this one??

 

 

 
WarGames   vs.   The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
wargamesWhat would happen if a precocious teenage computer hacker inadvertently started World War III?? best-little-whorehouse-texas-dolly1983’s WarGames addresses that idea. It was the first starring role for both Matthew Broderick & Ally Sheedy and is a fun, entertaining, vaguely conceivable, well written thrill ride. 1982’s The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is based on a Tony Award winning Broadway musical and stars Dolly Parton as the madam of a brothel whose…activities…are largely ignored because the madam is in a relationship with the local sheriff, portrayed by Burt Reynolds (still one of the biggest actors in the world at the time). Things get riotously complicated when a Springer-esque talk show host portrayed by Dom Deluise decides to expose the “chicken ranch”.

The Verdict: WarGames. The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is an amusing yet forgettably frivolous comedy we recall only because of its above average cast. WarGames is really well done, taking a heavy subject and spinning it into enjoyable entertainment.

 

 

Scarface   vs.   License to Drive
scarface1Al Pacino is still one of the best actors in the world and has been for over four decades, with 1983’s coreysScarface being one of his most treasured films. Pacino stars as Cuban drug lord Tony Montana in a violent story about cocaine & organized crime that was written by the infamous Oliver Stone and helmed by heralded director Brian DePalma. License to Drive is a 1988 comedy starring The Coreys…Haim & Feldman…about a 16 year old kid who takes his grandfather’s vehicle out for some misadventures despite having failed his driving test. The cast also includes Carol Kane, Heather Graham, & One Day at a Time’s Richard Masur.

The Verdict: Scarface. It isn’t necessarily my cup of tea, but considering the competition this is a no brainer. Even The Coreys made better movies than License to Drive.

 

 
Three Amigos!   vs.   European Vacation
Three-AmigosIt’s Chevy Chase vs. Chevy Chase!! In 1986’s Three Amigos! Chase co-stars with Steve Martin & Martin euroShort as dimwitted silent film actors in the early 20th century who inadvertently become involved in a battle against a bandito who is terrorizing a small Mexican village. They think they have been recruited to simply put on a show, but the young senorita who has enlisted their help mistakenly believes they are genuine heroes that can save her neighborhood. Hilarity ensues. Three Amigos! has never won any awards, but it is a quirky showcase for the inimitable talents of a trio of comedy legends. European Vacation is a 1985 follow-up to the original Vacation wherein the wacky Griswold clan wins an all-expenses paid tour of Europe on a goofy game show. As usual things go horribly yet hilariously wrong for Clark, Ellen, Rusty, & Audrey. It isn’t as funny as the first film or 1989’s Christmas Vacation, but European Vacation has its charms and upon further review is better than the first impression it might have left back in the day.

The Verdict: This one is in your hands too Manoverse. I’m counting on you!!

 

 

 
Three Men & A Baby   vs.   La Bamba
3menOnce again we have a trio of big name co-stars…in this case Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, & Steve Guttenberg. labambaThree Men & A Baby was the highest grossing film of 1987, beating out the likes of Fatal Attraction, Good Morning Vietnam, Moonstruck, The Untouchables, Dirty Dancing, Lethal Weapon, and Planes, Trains, & Automobiles. The story finds three NY City bachelors suddenly tasked with taking care of an infant that one of them has fathered. The men have no clue what they are doing and therein lies the comedy. The film was directed by Star Trek’s Leonard Nimoy and was followed a few years later by an unremarkable sequel. Word on the street is that a third film…three decades after the original…is in the works. La Bamba was also made in 1987 and is a biopic of Richie Valens, a Latino rocker in the 1950’s who had a few big hits before his life was cut short on The Day the Music Died in a plane crash that also killed Buddy Holly and The Big Bopper. La Bamba has an awesome soundtrack and Lou Diamond Phillips is mesmerizing as Valens.

The Verdict: 1987 was a really good year in film!! I’m also leaving this one up to y’all. Let’s get those votes in!!

 

 

 

Porky’s   vs.   Mr. Mom
porkys1982’s Porky’s is the quintessential teen sex comedy. Actually it is a forefather to movies like Superbad, mrmomRoad Trip, & American Pie in a genre that keeps on keepin’ on with decidedly uneven results. Porky’s is set in the 1950’s and has a group of Florida high schoolers on the typical quest to lose their virginity, ticking off a local nightclub owner in the process. There are no big stars in the film, but it was directed by Bob Clark, who would use the success of Porky’s to launch his passion project…a little ditty called A Christmas Story. You may have heard of it. 1983’s Mr. Mom is amongst the early works of Michael Keaton, still one of the most underrated actors out there to this day. Keaton co-stars with the lovely Teri Garr as an engineer downsized from Ford Motor Company who becomes a stay-at-home Dad while Mom re-enters the work force at an ad agency. It is Keaton at his funniest.

The Verdict: Mr. Mom. The basic plot of Porky’s has been done better in other films. Meanwhile, Mr. Mom is an oft overlooked gem that really showcases Keaton’s comedic talent.

 

 

Moonstruck   vs.   Flashdance
moonstruckI have long opined that Cher is a much better actress than singer, and the 1987 rom-com Moonstruck is flashdanceone of her more memorable performances, earning her an Oscar for Best Actress. Olympia Dukakis won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress and the movie itself was nominated for Best Picture, losing out to The Last Emperor, which also beat out Broadcast News and Fatal Attraction…a prime example of the folly and apparent crack smoking prowess of Oscar voters. At any rate, the real gem in Moonstruck is Nicolas Cage as a man who falls head over heels in love with his soon-to-be sister-in-law. 1983’s Flashdance tells the story of a female steelworker/stripper in Pittsburgh who wants to be a professional dancer. She becomes romantically involved with her boss (from the steel mill…not the nudie bar) and has to overcome feelings of inadequacy to chase her dream.

The Verdict: Moonstruck. I feel like Flashdance is remembered more for its soundtrack than for the movie itself. Meanwhile, the pedigree of Moonstruck cannot be denied.

80’s Movie Mania: Bodacious Round 1

So now we move forward with 80’s Movie Mania. I will post a few more polls along the way, but there will also be head-to-head matchups that are rather easily decided with no poll necessary. Each film has been put into one of four divisions: Tubular, Gnarly, Radical, & Bodacious. Let’s begin with the first round matchups in the Bodacious Division.

 

 

 

Bodacious – Round 1

Stand By Me   vs.   K-9

Stand By Me, in addition to being an excellent song originally recorded by Ben E King in the 60’s, is a 1986 coming-of-age film k9based on a Stephen King novella called The Body. The movie, in which four young lads go on a quest in search of the body of a presumed dead child, is notable for its superb cast, including Corey Feldman, Jerry O’Connell, River Phoenix, Wil Wheaton, Kiefer Sutherland, John Cusack, & Casey Siemaszko, all of whom would go on to have varying levels of success in their careers. K-9 is a 1989 action comedy in which Jim Belushi plays a cop who gets partnered with a german shepherd to bring down a drug lord.

The Verdict: Stand By Me. It’s not that K-9 is a bad film…it’s just that Stand By Me is one of the preeminent movies of the 1980’s that has stood the test of time mostly due to a cast of youngsters that grew into fine performers and well regarded Hollywood personalities.

 
Weekend at Bernie’s   vs.   Bachelor Party
wabNot every movie has to be an Oscar contender chockful of gravitas & profound life lessons. Sometime it’s okay to just sit back bpand have stupid fun. Weekend at Bernie’s is a goofy 1989 comedy starring Andrew McCarthy & Jonathan Silverman as bean counters at an insurance company whose boss has been embezzling money. After the boss ends up being the victim of a mob hit the two minions must convince everyone he’s still alive to save their own skins. It’s all rather silly yet enjoyable, highlighted by the physical comedy of actor Terry Kiser as the ill-fated corpse. A sequel was made a few years later but the humor was kind of played out. 1984’s Bachelor Party is one of the earliest triumphs in the storied career of Tom Hanks. The title says it all, with the story revolving around a wild stag party and all the associated hijinks.

The Verdict: I’m going to let The Manoverse decide which film moves on. If I can’t get atleast 20-25 votes in the poll I will decide the victor.

 

 

Cocktail   vs.   Stripes
cocktailCocktail is a 1988 romantic dramedy starring Tom Cruise as a young Army veteran who bartends at night to put himself thru college. He has an entrepreneurial spirit and big plans, which get derailed when he falls in love with a rich girl while working at a beachside club in Jamaica. Cocktail is a bit more style than substance, but that’s okay because the style part is so much fun. Cruise has rarely been cooler or more charismatic. The supporting cast is solid and the soundtrack…featuring songs from The Beach Boys, Starship, The Georgia Satellites, & John Cougar Cougar Mellencamp Mellencamp…is really enjoyable. Stripes is a military comedy (a very popular theme in the 80’s) and was among a string of hits (along with Caddyshack, Ghostbusters, & Tootsie) that Billstripes Murray did in the early 80’s after his departure from Saturday Night Live. Stripes has an impressive cast full of folks that would go on to have respectable careers…names like John Candy, Judge Reinhold, Sean Young, PJ Soles, John Larroquette, Timothy Busfield, Bill Paxton, Joe Flaherty, & Dave Thomas. The film is directed by Ivan Reitman and stars Murray & Harold Ramis as guys who join the Army more or less because they have nothing else good going on in their lives. Hilarity ensues. It is undoubtedly one of Murray’s best efforts.

The Verdict: This one is up to you Manoverse. I assume votes will be sharply divided along generational lines so maybe we’ll see just how diverse this reading audience is. Please vote…don’t make me make this decision myself.

 
Eddie & The Cruisers   vs.   A Fish Called Wanda
ecThe one thing I cannot figure out about Eddie & The Cruisers is why a band that had its success in the early 60’s sounds so wandamuch like a Springsteen/Bob Seger/Bon Jovi hybrid. Probably because the film was produced in 1983. At any rate, the idea is fantastic, with a framing story of a VH1 style documentary being made about a band who had one big album two decades ago before the enigmatic lead singer died in a tragic car crash. We meet the surviving members of the band and see flashbacks about their rise & fall. The final scene isn’t necessarily shocking, as it is hinted at throughout the film, but it is a well done surprise that sets up a tepid sequel that would come six years later (about 5 years too late). A Fish Called Wanda is a critically acclaimed heist comedy starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Cline, & Monty Python’s John Cleese. The group of crooks continuously try to double-cross each other and gain sole possession of the loot, with things becoming even more complicated when a lawyer gets involved. Cline won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor.

The Verdict: Eddie & The Cruisers. This would probably be considered a significant upset by many. Eddie & The Cruisers is viewed by most as a forgettable missed opportunity…a great story poorly executed. Conversely, A Fish Called Wanda has big stars and a strong pedigree. However, I believe that Eddie & The Cruisers does enough to be celebrated as the kind of solid popcorn entertainment that one would happily watch on a rainy Saturday afternoon whilst lazily keeping the couch warm. Meanwhile, A Fish Called Wanda contains a brand of Python-esque humor that has never been my particular cup o’ tea.

 
St. Elmo’s Fire   vs.   Romancing the Stone
sefSt. Elmo’s Fire finds members of the infamous Brat Pack (in this case Judd Nelson, Demi Moore, Emilio Estevez, Ally Sheedy, rsAndrew McCarty, Rob Lowe, & Mare Winningham) as recent graduates of Georgetown University who must now put the halcyon days of collegiate frivolity behind them and face the harsh realities of the real world. Haven’t most of us been there in one form or another?? Romancing the Stone is a 1984 rom-com/adventure flick starring Michael Douglas as an exotic bird smuggler (how’s that for a profession??) who gets roped into aiding a romance novelist who has ventured to Columbia to rescue her kidnapped sister. There is hidden treasure, drug lords, rogue military, & romance…everything one could ask for in an adventure quest film. It was director Robert Zemeckis’ first big success as well as one of Douglas’ first big films.

The Verdict: St. Elmo’s Fire. The question I ask myself is this: If I am flipping thru the channels late at night and both of these films just happen to be on TV which one am I going to watch?? Romancing the Stone is a fun ride, but the cast & the soundtrack of St. Elmo’s Fire give it a photo finish victory.

 
Iron Eagle   vs.   An Officer & A Gentleman
ieHey…it’s Lou Gossett Jr. vs. Lou Gossett Jr.!! 1986’s Iron Eagle has Gossett as a retired Air Force pilot who is recruited by hisog young friend Doug to pull off a daring rescue mission. Doug’s father is an Air Force pilot who has been captured by Arabs and who will be executed in a few days because the U.S. government has decided not to intervene. It’s up to the retired colonel, Doug, & a group of Doug’s friends to rescue ol’ Dad. Gossett co-stars with Richard Gere & Debra Winger in the more celebrated 1982 film An Officer & A Gentleman. Gossett won an Academy Award for Best Actor for his portrayal of a hardass drill sergeant who comes into conflict with a troubled young grunt played by Gere, a man who is trying to balance military life and a budding romance with an employee at a local factory.

The Verdict: It is tempting to make this choice myself because I definitely have a preference. However, I am going to be fair and give The Manoverse an opportunity to weigh in.

 
Pretty in Pink   vs.   Broadcast News
PPKPretty in Pink is one of a plethora of Brat Pack films that permeate 80’s cinema. It is written by John Hughes and tells the newsstory of a gal from (literally) the wrong side of the tracks who falls for the rich guy at school while the requisite best friend has unrequited feelings for the girl. Formulaic?? Sure…but it works. Broadcast News has a love triangle as well, with Holly Hunter as a neurotic TV news producer who is attracted to a pretty boy reporter but whose best friend is a less attractive reporter with a secret crush on his gal pal. More formula…but it also works really well.

The Verdict: Pretty in Pink. This is a hard one. Broadcast News is a great movie with a tremendously entertaining performance from Albert Brooks as the dowdy best pal. But I can’t overlook one of the iconic films of its generation, with solid performances from Molly Ringwald, Andrew McCarthy, James Spader, & Jon Cryer. Pretty in Pink benefits from a well written script by Hughes and a generation defining soundtrack featuring songs by INXS, Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark, & The Psychedelic Furs.

80’s Movie Mania: The Combatants

80sOkay, I gave y’all a fair opportunity and, to be blunt, The Manoverse let me down. According to WordPress I have 238 followers. I’d love to have thousands, but until now I was rather content. Then I published the Intro to 80’s Movie Mania, an idea that I thought would be lots of fun. Within that little ditty there were some polls to vote on. Nothing big. Not time consuming. No deep introspection needed. I told myself that I’d go with the decisions of The Manoverse conservatively hoping each poll would receive 10-20 votes…not even 10% of presumed readership. Yet a few weeks later every one of those polls have only a couple of votes. So out of 238 “followers” hardly anyone could be bothered to simply click on a button?? I’ve spent some sleepless nights wondering if I should just forget the whole deal and delete The Manofesto altogether. Over the years I’ve written on a vast array of subjects, from serious to funny, about hot topics and fun frivolities. There is something here for everyone, yet I can’t get folks to spend five minutes of their time to vote on a simple set of polls?? It is extremely frustrating. However, I have decided to forge ahead. I enjoy what I do even if no one else gives a hoot, and I have learned in life that the person in the mirror is the only one that’ll never let you down.

 

So without further ado we will dive into 80s Movie Mania. I decided to forget the play-in idea altogether and make this a 80s5comprehensive super tournament. I’m generous like that. These selections heavily reflect my own entertainment sensibilities as well as previously noted omissions that have been purposely made for one reason or another (sports films, trilogies, Christmas movies). If you feel like there are glaring oversights tell me and let’s discuss it. The Manofesto is interactive and thoughtful opinions are appreciated.

 

80s6Sadly I am unable to utilize actual brackets within the limited WordPress format, so we’re just going to improvise. For now I am revealing the field for the competition broken down by years. For the tournament each film will be placed into one of four divisions: Tubular, Gnarly, Radical,& Bodacious. Five entrants in each division will receive a first round bye, an additional two films will receive byes thru the first & second rounds. The first round shall commence shortly. Enjoy!

 

 

1980
The Blues Brothers – Airplane!

1981
History of the World Part I – Stripes

1982
Porky’s – The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan – 48 Hrs. – E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial
Fast Times at Ridgemont High – Night Shift – An Officer & A Gentleman

1983
WarGames – Scarface – Flashdance – Mr. Mom
The Outsiders – My Tutor – National Lampoon’s Vacation
Risky Business – The Big Chill – Eddie & The Cruisers

1984
Footloose – Purple Rain – Police Academy – The Last Starfighter
This Is Spinal Tap – Ghostbusters – Splash – Sixteen Candles
Revenge of the Nerds – Red Dawn – Romancing the Stone
Bachelor Party

1985
The Breakfast Club – European Vacation – Weird Science
Teen Wolf – Fletch – The Goonies – St. Elmo’s Fire

1986
Three Amigos! – Top Gun – Crocodile Dundee
Flight of the Navigator – Brighton Beach Memoirs
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
Stand By Me – Iron Eagle – Pretty in Pink

1987
Lethal Weapon – Wall Street – Dirty Dancing
The Princess Bride – Three Men & A Baby – Moonstruck
La Bamba – Good Morning Vietnam – Raising Arizona
Spaceballs – Dragnet – Summer School – Broadcast News

1988
License to Drive – Beetlejuice – Biloxi Blues – Big
Rain Man – The Naked Gun – Twins – Coming to America
Cocktail – A Fish Called Wanda

1989
When Harry Met Sally – Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure – Uncle Buck
Say Anything… – Turner & Hooch – Dead Poets Society
Batman – Weekend at Bernie’s – K-9 – Parenthood