80’s Movie Mania: Gnarly Round 1

Welcome back to 80’s Movie Mania!! Before we move on let’s tie up some loose ends. I’m still not getting more than a couple of votes on the polls I post, which is rather vexing. Anything below double digit votes and it’s my call and that’s not how I’d prefer this whole thing work, but it is what it is. So…in the Tubular Division’s first round it’s La Bamba over Three Men & A Baby, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure over History of the World Part 1, and European Vacation with a bit of an upset over Three Amigos!. Today we focus on first round matchups in the Gnarly Division. Enjoy.

 

 

 

Gnarly – Round 1

 

The Outsiders              vs.              My Tutor

outsidersThe Outsiders is based on a 1967 novel written by an Oklahoma high school girl. The story revolves around a gang of boys called The Greasers, who are essentially a tougher, darker version of The T-Birds from Grease, and their battles with the neighborhood preppies called The Socs (pronounced “soshas”). The film was made in 1983 and has remained in the collective pop culture consciousness because it stars several young up n’ comers who would go on to become Hollywood superstars…Matt Dillon, Patrick Swayze, Tom Cruise, C. Thomas Howell, Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Diane Lane, & 45 year old Ralph Macchio (the future Karate Kid), here playing a junior high schooler. My Tutor is a personal favorite of the teen sex genre. Also produced in 1983, it tells the story of a recent high school graduate who must pass a French exam to secure admission into Yale. He’s more interested in chasing women and trying to lose his virginity (that again), but his rich Daddy hires a tutor to make sure he studies for and passes the test. Fortunately the tutor is young, blonde, hot, & enjoys late night skinny dipping in the family pool. Not surprisingly the kid passes French and gets lucky with the tutor.

 

The Verdict:       The Outsiders. To be honest My Tutor isn’t a great movie. I’m not even sure it is all that good. But it came along at just the right time (probably around the summer of ’84 on video and HBO) to rev the engines of a certain 12/13 year old boy, which is why it holds a special place in my heart. Actress Caryn Kaye: I’ll never forget you. However, The Outsiders is a juggernaut of greatness. It is based on a good book, directed by the legendary Frances Ford Coppola, and has an amazing cast. This is the very definition of an unfair fight. And I’m kidding…Macchio was only 22 when he starred as a high school student The Outsiders.

 

 

 

 

Weird Science             vs.              Raising Arizona 

WeirdScienceIs Weird Science a Brat Pack film?? Ehhhh…kinda sorta not really…but close enough (it was written & arizonadirected by John Hughes afterall). It came out in 1985, which is why Anthony Michael Hall didn’t reprise his role as Rusty Griswold in European Vacation. He chose this movie instead. The story follows a couple of high school geeks who decide to use a computer to build their perfect woman. Somehow it works and the guys suddenly become popular. The woman…whom they name Lisa…teaches them a few things about life and does much to improve their confidence and self-esteem. Weird Science is amongst the earliest works of both Robert Downey Jr. & Bill Paxton and has a very 80’s soundtrack featuring songs from Oingo Boingo, Ratt, & Van Halen. 1987’s Raising Arizona was one of the first films written, produced, & directed by Joel & Ethan Coen, who have since had tremendous success with movies like Fargo, The Big Lebowski, O Brother Where Art Thou?, & No Country for Old Men. Raising Arizona stars Nicolas Cage & Holly Hunter as a career criminal and police officer respectively, who marry but are unable to have children. They hatch a plot to kidnap one of the infant quintuplets of a well-known local businessman, because “anybody with five babies won’t miss one”. Of course things quickly get hilariously out of control. It is a twisted, madcap, slapstick farce, with Cage at his over-the-top zany best.

 

The Verdict:       I have my opinions, but I’m going to give The Manoverse an opportunity to weigh in. Vote!! Tell your friends to vote!!

 

 

48 Hrs.                vs.              Teen Wolf 

4848 Hrs. was one of the first of its genre…the mismatched buddy cop film. It is a formula that works really teenwolfwell when a delicate balance between action & comedy is achieved, and has since become the foundation of a plethora of films with mostly diminishing returns. In 1982 Eddie Murphy was still a regular on Saturday Night Live (he wouldn’t depart until two years later) but snagged his role in this movie when plans to cast Richard Pryor fell through. It is still amongst Murphy’s best work. The story has Nick Nolte as a San Francisco detective who enlists the help of a wisecracking criminal nearing the end of his prison sentence to track down a dangerous escaped convict. The humor is provided by Murphy but is also found in the dysfunctional relationship between an uptight cop and his streetwise partner (in this case a thief). 1985’s Teen Wolf stars Michael J. Fox as a high school basketball player who discovers that lycanthropy is in his bloodline and he has inherited the condition. He uses his newfound “talent” to become the coolest guy at school and lead his basketball team to success, though it all eventually backfires on him and he figures out that just being himself might be preferable. Fox made Teen Wolf right after the first Back to the Future film. The combined success of the two movies, along with the popularity of the TV show Family Ties, cemented Fox’s place as a bona fide star.

 

The Verdict:       48 Hrs. This is a tough call, but Teen Wolf, though a fun popcorn flick, isn’t even the best work that Michael J. Fox did in 1985. Conversely, if Eddie Murphy was still as good in his more recent movies as he was in 48 Hrs. he’d still be on top instead of an afterthought resting on his laurels.

 

 

 

 

Beetlejuice          vs.              Turner & Hooch

beetlejuiceEveryone pretty much knows going in that a Tim Burton film is going to be a weird experience, and 1988’s hoochBeetlejuice is no exception. Alec Baldwin & Geena Davis star as a couple happily settling into their idyllic New England home when they meet an untimely demise. But instead of walking on streets of gold or burning in perpetual fire they find themselves back in their house. That’d be okay, except for the fact that another family soon moves in. The original (now dead) owners want to run this new family off and enlist the help of the titular ghost, a “freelance bio-exorcist”. Hilarity ensues. Part comedy, part horror film, Beetlejuice has enjoyed a cult following (pun unavoidable) for a quarter century, mostly due to the manic performance of Michael Keaton as the title character. Winona Ryder is also…interesting…as the goth daughter of the odd family that has moved into the house. 1989 brought us Turner & Hooch, in which Tom Hanks stars as a California police detective who teams up with a rather ugly, destructive, slobbery dog to bring down a drug lord. It’s a different take on the buddy cop genre, or atleast it would have been different if the very comparable K-9 starring Jim Belushi hadn’t been released the same year. But since, in most people’s hearts & minds, Hanks > Jim Belushi this movie is generally thought of as the better of the two.

 

The Verdict:       Beetlejuice. To be honest it’s not exactly my kind of flick, but the cast is undeniably great and it is one of Keaton’s signature roles, despite the fact that he’s really not onscreen that much. I like Turner & Hooch just fine, but it just ran into stiff competition. Sometimes those are the breaks.

 

 

 

 

Purple Rain                  vs.              Crocodile Dundee

purpleWhich came first…the song or the movie?? In the case of 1984’s Purple Rain the song (and album of the crocsame name) was released just before the film, which essentially serves as unique advertising for the album. Prince stars as a small-time Minneapolis musician battling thru problems at home with abusive parents, professional rivalries in his music career, & a rocky relationship with the lovely Apollonia. Paul Hogan was already a well-known actor & comedian in his native Australia, but he became a worldwide celebrity in 1986 after the release of Crocodile Dundee. The story follows a NY City magazine writer who travels to The Outback for a story about a bushman that’s been involved in some almost mythological exploits. She finds that Mick (as he prefers to be called) isn’t quite as legendary as the anecdotes about him would indicate, but is nevertheless a really fascinating individual. The writer invites the bushman back to The Big Apple to finish the story, at which point the film becomes a classic fish-out-of-water story with a little romance thrown in for good measure. Two sequels followed over the course of the next fifteen years, but neither retained that witty charm of the original.

 

The Verdict:       Crocodile Dundee. Purple Rain has a kickass soundtrack, but that’s about it. Dundee puts a unique spin on a formulaic concept and is good for more than a few laughs.

 

 

 

Biloxi Blues                  vs.              Parenthood

biloxi-bluesIt is said that the character of Eugene Jerome is an autobiographical representation of playwright Neil parentSimon and his youth in Brooklyn during The Great Depression. In the 1988 dramedy Biloxi Blues, the second installment of The Eugene Trilogy, Matthew Broderick portrays Eugene as he heads off to basic training near the end of World War II. The viewer will recognize several young faces that you can’t quite remember where you know them from, but the best parts of the film are the interactions between Eugene and his quirky drill instructor, played by the incomparable Christopher Walken. 1989’s Parenthood is an ensemble dramedy with an all-star cast including Steve Martin, Mary Steenburgen, Jason Robards, Dianne Weist, Keanu Reeves, Rick Moranis, & Joaquin Phoenix. It has been adapted as a TV series twice. The first try was in 1990 and starred Ed Begley Jr., David Arquette, & Leonardo DiCaprio (you may have heard of him). It lasted for only one short season. The second attempt, starring Craig T. Nelson, Bonnie Bedelia, & Lauren Graham was better received and recently concluded its run after 6 seasons.

 

The Verdict:       This is a tough one, so I am going to leave it up to The Manoverse. I would REALLY love some help deciding this matchup folks!!

 

 

 

Police Academy          vs.              The Last Starfighter

police-academyPolice Academy was released in 1984 and was followed by six sequels in the next decade. For awhile it starfighterseems like a new Police Academy film was made every year, and there have been (unsuccessful) efforts to revive/reboot the series in the past several years. However, the only film that really matters is the original. It was fresh, funny, well-written slapstick comedy with a talented cast. Steve Guttenberg headlined a class of misfits trying to become police officers (for various reasons). It is an obvious riff on The Bad News Bears, but that’s okay. It’s another formula that works. 1984’s The Last Starfighter tells the story of a teenager named Alex who is obsessed with a particular video game. Because he is so skilled at the game it is revealed to him that it is actually real, and he is whisked off to outer space to help save the planet Rylos while a robot doppelganger fills in for him on Earth. The film’s special effects may seem a bit cheesy now, but thirty years ago they were pretty remarkable. The scenes with Alex’s robot double are quite funny. This is a movie that will get remade someday because Hollywood won’t be able to resist updating it with all the latest & greatest gadgetry at their disposal, but it’ll have to be a heck of an effort to improve on the original.

 

 

The Verdict:       The Last Starfighter. Reminiscent of a NASCAR photo finish, this is a really close call. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that the plethora of subpar Police Academy sequels don’t carry some weight in my decision, as they really did water down the perception of the first film’s originality, charm, & humor. While The Last Starfighter doesn’t rank alongside Star Wars or Star Trek, it is a fun, quirky, unique entry in the sci-fi genre.

80’s Movie Mania: Tubular Round 1

Welcome back to 80’s Movie Mania!! Unfortunately I’m still not getting the interactive response I’d hoped for, so I am forced to make decisions on the polls I posted for the first round of the Bodacious Division. To that end: Weekend at Bernie’s conquers Bachelor Party, Cocktail beats Stripes, and Iron Eagle defeats An Officer & A Gentleman. Now we move on to first round matchups in the Tubular Division. I am persistent so there will be more polls. Please vote. Enjoy!!

 

 

 

Tubular – Round 1

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure   vs.   History of the World Part I
btdThis is a matchup for all you history buffs!! Bill and Ted are two California stoners destined to do great History-of-the-World-Part-1-mel-brooksthings in the future…if only they can pass their high school history exam. To help them in their 1989 epic adventure George Carlin travels back in time in a phone booth and introduces the two mindless teens to historical figures like Billy the Kid, Napoleon Bonaparte, Socrates, Sigmund Freud, Beethoven, & Abraham Lincoln. As you might imagine it’s a pretty funny trip thru the ol’ space-time continuum. A sequel came out a couple of years later but it lacks the magic of the original. The 1981 epic History of the World Part 1 is written, produced, & directed by the legendary Mel Brooks. It is comprised of short segments parodying events set in The Stone Age, The Old Testament Biblical era, The Roman Empire, The Spanish Inquisition, & The French Revolution and stars some pretty big names like Orson Welles (who narrates), Dom Deluise, Sid Caesar, Shecky Greene, Harvey Korman, Bea Arthur, Cloris Leachman, & Brooks himself. The humor is kind of old school vaudeville mixed with Americanized Python-esque zaniness…and it works.

The Verdict: Okay Manoverse…I’m giving you another shot here. Can we get atleast 10 votes on this one??

 

 

 
WarGames   vs.   The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
wargamesWhat would happen if a precocious teenage computer hacker inadvertently started World War III?? best-little-whorehouse-texas-dolly1983’s WarGames addresses that idea. It was the first starring role for both Matthew Broderick & Ally Sheedy and is a fun, entertaining, vaguely conceivable, well written thrill ride. 1982’s The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is based on a Tony Award winning Broadway musical and stars Dolly Parton as the madam of a brothel whose…activities…are largely ignored because the madam is in a relationship with the local sheriff, portrayed by Burt Reynolds (still one of the biggest actors in the world at the time). Things get riotously complicated when a Springer-esque talk show host portrayed by Dom Deluise decides to expose the “chicken ranch”.

The Verdict: WarGames. The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is an amusing yet forgettably frivolous comedy we recall only because of its above average cast. WarGames is really well done, taking a heavy subject and spinning it into enjoyable entertainment.

 

 

Scarface   vs.   License to Drive
scarface1Al Pacino is still one of the best actors in the world and has been for over four decades, with 1983’s coreysScarface being one of his most treasured films. Pacino stars as Cuban drug lord Tony Montana in a violent story about cocaine & organized crime that was written by the infamous Oliver Stone and helmed by heralded director Brian DePalma. License to Drive is a 1988 comedy starring The Coreys…Haim & Feldman…about a 16 year old kid who takes his grandfather’s vehicle out for some misadventures despite having failed his driving test. The cast also includes Carol Kane, Heather Graham, & One Day at a Time’s Richard Masur.

The Verdict: Scarface. It isn’t necessarily my cup of tea, but considering the competition this is a no brainer. Even The Coreys made better movies than License to Drive.

 

 
Three Amigos!   vs.   European Vacation
Three-AmigosIt’s Chevy Chase vs. Chevy Chase!! In 1986’s Three Amigos! Chase co-stars with Steve Martin & Martin euroShort as dimwitted silent film actors in the early 20th century who inadvertently become involved in a battle against a bandito who is terrorizing a small Mexican village. They think they have been recruited to simply put on a show, but the young senorita who has enlisted their help mistakenly believes they are genuine heroes that can save her neighborhood. Hilarity ensues. Three Amigos! has never won any awards, but it is a quirky showcase for the inimitable talents of a trio of comedy legends. European Vacation is a 1985 follow-up to the original Vacation wherein the wacky Griswold clan wins an all-expenses paid tour of Europe on a goofy game show. As usual things go horribly yet hilariously wrong for Clark, Ellen, Rusty, & Audrey. It isn’t as funny as the first film or 1989’s Christmas Vacation, but European Vacation has its charms and upon further review is better than the first impression it might have left back in the day.

The Verdict: This one is in your hands too Manoverse. I’m counting on you!!

 

 

 
Three Men & A Baby   vs.   La Bamba
3menOnce again we have a trio of big name co-stars…in this case Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, & Steve Guttenberg. labambaThree Men & A Baby was the highest grossing film of 1987, beating out the likes of Fatal Attraction, Good Morning Vietnam, Moonstruck, The Untouchables, Dirty Dancing, Lethal Weapon, and Planes, Trains, & Automobiles. The story finds three NY City bachelors suddenly tasked with taking care of an infant that one of them has fathered. The men have no clue what they are doing and therein lies the comedy. The film was directed by Star Trek’s Leonard Nimoy and was followed a few years later by an unremarkable sequel. Word on the street is that a third film…three decades after the original…is in the works. La Bamba was also made in 1987 and is a biopic of Richie Valens, a Latino rocker in the 1950’s who had a few big hits before his life was cut short on The Day the Music Died in a plane crash that also killed Buddy Holly and The Big Bopper. La Bamba has an awesome soundtrack and Lou Diamond Phillips is mesmerizing as Valens.

The Verdict: 1987 was a really good year in film!! I’m also leaving this one up to y’all. Let’s get those votes in!!

 

 

 

Porky’s   vs.   Mr. Mom
porkys1982’s Porky’s is the quintessential teen sex comedy. Actually it is a forefather to movies like Superbad, mrmomRoad Trip, & American Pie in a genre that keeps on keepin’ on with decidedly uneven results. Porky’s is set in the 1950’s and has a group of Florida high schoolers on the typical quest to lose their virginity, ticking off a local nightclub owner in the process. There are no big stars in the film, but it was directed by Bob Clark, who would use the success of Porky’s to launch his passion project…a little ditty called A Christmas Story. You may have heard of it. 1983’s Mr. Mom is amongst the early works of Michael Keaton, still one of the most underrated actors out there to this day. Keaton co-stars with the lovely Teri Garr as an engineer downsized from Ford Motor Company who becomes a stay-at-home Dad while Mom re-enters the work force at an ad agency. It is Keaton at his funniest.

The Verdict: Mr. Mom. The basic plot of Porky’s has been done better in other films. Meanwhile, Mr. Mom is an oft overlooked gem that really showcases Keaton’s comedic talent.

 

 

Moonstruck   vs.   Flashdance
moonstruckI have long opined that Cher is a much better actress than singer, and the 1987 rom-com Moonstruck is flashdanceone of her more memorable performances, earning her an Oscar for Best Actress. Olympia Dukakis won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress and the movie itself was nominated for Best Picture, losing out to The Last Emperor, which also beat out Broadcast News and Fatal Attraction…a prime example of the folly and apparent crack smoking prowess of Oscar voters. At any rate, the real gem in Moonstruck is Nicolas Cage as a man who falls head over heels in love with his soon-to-be sister-in-law. 1983’s Flashdance tells the story of a female steelworker/stripper in Pittsburgh who wants to be a professional dancer. She becomes romantically involved with her boss (from the steel mill…not the nudie bar) and has to overcome feelings of inadequacy to chase her dream.

The Verdict: Moonstruck. I feel like Flashdance is remembered more for its soundtrack than for the movie itself. Meanwhile, the pedigree of Moonstruck cannot be denied.

80’s Movie Mania: An Introduction

80sCowabunga dudes!! Citizens of The Manoverse should know your Humble Potentate of Profundity pretty well by now, and two things you should have figured out are that I am a) a movie buff and b) a child of the 80’s. So I began pondering…what are the films from that decade that I enjoy?? Which ones are considered the best by the masses?? Which ones may be a bit overlooked or completely forgotten with the passage of time?? This train of thought sparked an idea: a March Madness-like tournament to decide the ultimate 80’s movie!!


80s2Now I must first set a few ground rules. Contrary to what one may believe, the 1980’s produced a plethora of memorable films. There were some critical darlings of course, and then there were a number of movies that may not have been “good” in the traditional sense but have just the right…je ne sais quoi…for inclusion in this competition. In order to pare down the pool of entrants I was forced to make some editorial choices. First of all…no sports films. I have already given love to Raging Bull, Field of Dreams, Bull Durham, Caddyshack, & Vision Quest on a previous occasion, so in the interest of fairness I am not including them here. Secondly…and this is a big one…no trilogies. I am of the opinion that film trilogies should be considered as80s3 one entity, and I don’t think it is fair to include such juggernauts against single entity competition. Plus, the Star Wars trilogy (2/3 of which was made in the 80’s) and the Back to the Future trilogy are so awesome that they’d probably run away with this thing, so why not make it just a bit more interesting?? As you may recall, I think of series differently, so anything with 4 or more films is fair game, although generally it’s hard to beat the original (there are exceptions).


80s4Even with those limitations in place I couldn’t narrow the field to 64, so I’m going to ask for some help from y’all. There are a dozen “vote-ins” pitting two films of some similarity head-to-head. Please click on your choice. I am going to wait for atleast a week and hope to get 10 or more votes on each of these, with the winners moving on to the tournament. Tell your friends!! Let’s grow The Manoverse and have some fun doing it!!

 

 

 

For about 5 minutes in the 80’s Steve Guttenberg was one of the bigger movie stars around. Lately though he’s kind of fallen off the face of the Earth, with his last notable role coming in…the mid-90’s if I’m being generous. However, we’ll always have these two Guttenberg gems. Police Academy spawned about a bazillion crappy sequels, but the original was hilariously stupid (and I mean that as a compliment). Three Men & A Baby had Guttenberg starring alongside Tom Selleck and Ted Danson as bachelors suddenly given the task of caring for an infant.

Michael Keaton is still one of the best in the business, but these days he wants to win awards and be taken seriously as an actor. I think I liked him better when he was making lightweight yet rather funny comedies. Mr. Mom is a role reversal kind of deal (atleast it was unique in the early 80’s) where Keaton becomes a stay-at-home father while his wife (portrayed by the lovely Teri Garr) tries to climb the corporate ladder. Gung Ho has Keaton as an auto executive trying to keep his Pennsylvania plant from being shut down by its Japanese owners. In Night Shift Keaton co-stars with Henry Winkler (Fonzie from Happy Days) and pre-Cheers Shelley Long as a NY City morgue employee who uses his workplace as a front for a prostitution ring,

Neil Simon is best known for his award winning plays, but several of those stage productions have been made into movies. This head-to-head battle pits 2/3 of the “Eugene Trilogy” against one another. It is said that the character of Eugene Jerome is an autobiographical representation of Simon and his youth in Brooklyn during The Great Depression. In Brighton Beach Memoirs Eugene (portrayed by Jonathan Silverman) is a teenager dealing with the ups & downs of family life. In Biloxi Blues Eugene (portrayed by Matthew Broderick) has been drafted into the Army near the end of World War II and endures basic training in Mississippi.

Only one police dog shall make it into the tournament…which one will it be?? Will you choose Jerry Lee, a german shepherd that helps Jim Belushi escape a drug kingpin?? Or do you prefer Hooch, a French mastiff that aids Tom Hanks in bringing down…well…another drug lord??

I’m a big fan of comedy, but within the genre there are different kinds of comedy. Airplane! is a spoof of dramatic disaster flicks and has plenty of sight gags and fun wordplay. It takes multiple viewings to really consume all the goodness the film contains. This Is Spinal Tap gave birth to the mockumentary…a movie that is presented as a documentary, usually in hilarious fashion.

Dragnet isn’t strictly a spoof, but it takes the old 1960’s TV show and turns it into a comedic parody starring Dan Aykroyd & Tom Hanks. The Naked Gun is a spoof of police procedurals based on a 1982 TV show called Police Squad that lasted only 6 episodes.

Tom Cruise did Cocktail immediately after Top Gun and just before Rain Man. He stars as an ambitious young man who is bartending to put himself thru college on the way to fulfilling his dreams. As usual a woman comes along and complicates things. Tom Hanks did Bachelor Party the same year he starred in Splash and four years before Big would really solidify his career. The title pretty much says it all, and its as funny as one would expect.


Films in the 1980’s oftentimes chronicled young men’s dogged chase of nookie, a theme that would continue to be popular into the 90’s and beyond. Porky’s is the story of a group of high schoolers in 1950’s Florida and their…misadventures. My Tutor is a bit more…subtle…in telling the story of a wealthy young man’s need to pass an exam in French to get into Yale. His father hires a beautiful female tutor and…well…the lad gets an education in more than just French.

I’ve never been much of a gamer, but the dudes in these films sure are. In War Games a precocious high school computer enthusiast (i.e. hacker) inadvertently starts WWIII. In The Last Starfighter a young man finds out the game he loves is real when he is whisked away to outer space to join the battle.

Hollywood likes to promote the idea that war is like sports…a game for young, good looking people. In Iron Eagle Lou Gosset Jr. leads a ragtag group of teenagers into a battle to rescue one of the youngster’s fathers, an Air Force pilot that has been captured by Arabs. Red Dawn, the story of high schoolers who fight back when their Colorado town is invaded by Russians, has a more well-known cast, including Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, Lea Thompson, Jennifer Grey, & C. Thomas Howell.

Molly Ringwald was an 80’s It Girl, but I can only allow one of these two films into the tournament. In Sixteen Candles Ringwald plays a girl whose family forgets her 16th birthday amidst the chaos of her older sister’s wedding. Pretty in Pink has Ringwald in the middle of a love triangle and dealing with other typical high school issues.

High school geeks were a staple of 80’s classics. In Teen Wolf Michael J. Fox plays an average teenager who suddenly becomes the cool guy at school when he discovers an ability to transform into a werewolf. Weird Science is about two young nerds who use technology to create the perfect woman.