Author: sammano

Superfluous 7…..Overlooked & Underrated Christmas Songs

Is there a difference between a carol and just a plain ol’ Christmas song?? The common view looks to be in the affirmative, but what exactly the separation point is can be debated. Strictly speaking a carol will always talk of The Nativity. So favorites like Silent Night, O Come All Ye Faithful, Joy to the World, and O Holy Night obviously qualify. But what about standards like White Christmas, Jingle Bells, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, and The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire)?? I think in most peoples’ minds they too would be considered carols. At any rate, it is an interesting if completely frivolous discussion and that isn’t my purpose today. Rather my intended mission on this lovely December morning is to give recognition to some songs that might go unnoticed by the masses. They aren’t songs that you’ll sing on your church’s trek through the neighborhood or a visit to the local old folks’ home, and they aren’t songs that you’ll hear on the radio as much as Frosty the Snowman, anything by Mannheim Steamroller and Trans-Siberian Orchestra, or that wonderfully silly Grinch theme song that I have literally heard atleast three times a day in my truck on the local 24 hour Christmas music station every day for the past two weeks. These are tunes that you might hear occasionally on the radio and possibly on your Music Choice Sounds of the Seasons station (God bless you Time Warner Cable) every once in a blue moon. And they all have one thing in common…your humble Potentate of Profundity thinks they rock. I have already covered the traditional Christmas carol scene, so let’s go off the beaten path a little bit as The Manofesto proudly presents…..

 

 

from the home office in Eggnog, UT…..

 

 

The Superfluous 7 Overlooked & Underrated Christmas Songs:

 

 

 

7              Dominick the Donkey – Lou Monte

We all know about Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, but have you heard about Dominick the Italian Christmas donkey??  He’s cute, he doesn’t kick, and apparently he has to help Santa in Italy because the reindeer can’t climb the hills. I guess they can’t fly in Italy either?? Odd. Anyway, this tune is what I would describe as infectious, and I mean that in a good way, not in the itchy, red, “Oh crap I shouldn’t have gone home with that crazy sorority chick last weekend” kind of way.

 

6              Snoopy’s Christmas – The Royal Guardsmen

Novelty songs have sequels?? Who knew?? However, much like Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan and Genesis with Phil Collins (instead of Peter Gabriel), the original is all but forgotten while the follow-up is much better. In this case the original is a song written in 1966 less than a month after Charles Shultz’s first comic strip featuring Snoopy’s Walter Mitty-esque obsession with the infamous WW1 German fighter pilot, which seems a bit rushed. The sequel is a catchy tune written a year later which references the historical Christmas Truce during which German & British troops enjoyed a brief ceasefire on Christmas Eve & Christmas Day in 1914.


 

5              Christmas Time Is Here – Vince Guaraldi

It’s probably a bit of a stretch to call this overlooked. We hear it every year when TV broadcasts the superb 1965 animated special A Charlie Brown Christmas. But it’s the show that gets the love…the music is just in the background. However, the music itself is stupendous. Charles Shultz had to fight a real battle not only to get the memorable Biblical quote into the show but also to use the Vince Guaraldi Trio because it was felt that a jazzy score was not the way to go for a children’s show. Thank God Mr. Shultz won the argument. The lyrical rendition, which speaks of happiness & cheer, olden times & ancient rhymes, and families drawing near is excellent. But as a jazz lover I actually prefer the soulful, melancholy, soothing instrumental version. Your mileage may vary.

 

4              It’s Christmas Time Pretty Baby – Elvis Presley

Who doesn’t like Elvis?? But while his Blue Christmas (one of my favorites) gets all the love we should not forget about this bluesy little ditty in which Santa Claus is said to be driving a big black Cadillac. If you like the blues you’ll like it, if you don’t then you might not. It gets a little play on the radio and on Music Choice, but I could stand to hear it more often.

 

3              Christmas in Killarney – Bing Crosby

Crosby’s silky voice is ubiquitous during the Christmas season, but we usually hear him singing White Christmas, that Little Drummer Boy deal he did with David Bowie, and maybe It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas,  Adeste Fideles, or I’ll Be Home for Christmas. Even Mele Kalikimaka gets much love due to its use in the 1989 holiday classic National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. But let’s take a moment to give props to this beguiling little Irish jig written in 1950. I quite like it!!

 

2              Please Come Home for Christmas – The Eagles/Bon Jovi

The Christmas season isn’t jolly for everyone. It has the double-edged burden of being both the happiest and saddest time of the year. The gloom may not be much fun for most, but it’s a gold mine for songwriters. Some of the best Christmas tunes are also rather sorrowful. Songs like Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas & The Christmas Shoes effectively capitalize on the holiday dichotomy. For my money one of the best of the genre is this poignant song about a guy whose baby is gone and who has no friends. The most well-known covers are by The Eagles and Bon Jovi, who just happen to be two of my favorite bands.

 

1              All I Want For Christmas Is You – Vince Vance & The Valiants

Everybody knows about the Mariah Carey song of the same name. I am not saying that is necessarily a bad tune, but this one is completely different and oh so much cooler. Vince Vance & the Valiants is one of those bands who never really made it to the big time but have just quietly been doing their thing for about 30 years. Other than the 1980 novelty song Bomb Iran (a parody of The Beach Boys’ Barbara Ann), this Christmas tune is their one notable contribution to pop culture, and I absolutely adore it. I must give credit to my friend The Owl for introducing me to it some years ago. Whenever it comes on the radio or Music Choice (which is not often enough) I immediately stop whatever I am doing and listen.

 

 

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2012 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 14

You may have noticed that I took another bye last weekend. It was completely unintentional. Time simply got away from me. I was busy with other things, and for some reason became enamored with getting the bowl preview finished even though it could have waited a few more days. Ah well…c’est la vie.

College football is over except for the bowl games so for the next few weeks we’ll concentrate exclusively on the NFL, which is in the home stretch of their season. Thus far I have a dismal 38-58-1 record, meaning I’d pretty much have to be perfect these last three weeks to break even, which of course is extremely unlikely. However, I’ll do my best and try to finish on a high note.

 

 

Green Bay (-2.5)    at        Chicago

These two teams seem to be going in opposite directions. The Packers have overcome a shaky start and won 7 out of their past 8 games. The Bears have lost 4 out of their last 5 and are Green_Bay_Packers_Helmetlooking every bit as mediocre as I predicted they’d be. The loss of All-Pro LB Brian Urlacher has obviously not helped. Even with the home field I’d be surprised if Chicago pulled this one out, so I’ll take the favorites to cover.

 

 

Atlanta (-2)             vs.       NY Giants

Can the Giants do it again?? For some reason they have been able to peak at the right time and get hot in the playoffs on more than one occasion the past severalGiants Logo years. I have never bought the Falcons as a legitimate Super Bowl contender even though they have done better than I thought they might and already have a playoff spot all sewn up. I’m going to roll the dice and bet that New York will continue their late season heroics.

 

 

 

New Orleans (-3.5)           vs.       Tampa Bay

I’ve said all along that the Saints would get off to a rough start but still end up in the playoffs. That prediction is beginning to look a bit shaky. This is absolutely a must win for both clubs if tb-buccaneers-authenticthey hope to sneak into a wildcard spot. Both teams are in the midst of three game losing skids, so something’s got to give here. I am usually one to stand behind my predictions, usually to my own detriment. However, at this point I have more confidence in the Bucs than New Orleans, so that’s the pick.

 

 

St. Louis (-3)                        vs.       Minnesota

Neither of these teams is going to the playoffs, but both have shown glimmers of hope at times thus far. Vikings’ RB Adrian Peterson is a beast and has made avikingshelmet1 remarkable comeback from tearing his ACL last Christmas Eve. The Rams are riding a three game winning streak, including a surprising overtime victory over division leading San Francisco a couple of weeks ago. St. Louis may be the hotter team and have the home field, but the vibes are telling me to pick Minnesota, so I shall.

 

 

Denver (-3)              at        Baltimore

I predicted a division crown for the Peyton Manning led Broncos and because the rest of the competition is even worse than I broncos-4759thought Denver has already clinched. They’ve also won an incredible eight games in a row. That’s not easy to do in the NFL no matter who your QB is. Conversely the Ravens have lost their last two games and the injuries are piling up. This is a real toss up, but I have to go with Denver.

 

 

Houston (-10)         vs.       Indianapolis

Both teams look to be heading to the post-season, although the division title is still up for grabs. What intrigues me here is the massive point spread. Colts’Indianapolis_Colts_Helmet QB Andrew Luck has had a tremendous rookie campaign and the team is on a three game winning streak, so I am hard pressed to figure out just why the folks in Vegas are being so disrespectful. I’m not buying it. Houston may win , but they aren’t going to do it by double digit points.

 

 

 

New England (4.5)                        vs.       San Francisco

The hated Patriots are at it again. Just when everyone thinks that maybe they have plateaued and may be headed toward the San-Francisco-49ersdownside they rise up and look as good as ever. They have won seven games in a row and are as good as any team in the league. Meanwhile the 49ers haven’t been quite as invincible as most thought they’d be and are actually in a real battle for their division with the surprising Seattle Seahawks. This is another vibe game where The Voices are telling me something different than what logic would seem to dictate. I have nothing to lose at this point so to heck with playing it safe. I’ll go out on a limb and pick the underdogs.

 

 

 

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The Sammy Claus Wish List 2012

Yes West Virginia, there is a Sammy Claus. I exist as surely as football, good books, Italian food, & puppies exist, and I know that they abound and give my life its joy & meaning. Alas! How would The Manofesto exist if there were no Sammy Claus?? It would be really dreary, like a Lady Gaga concert or being a Pittsburgh Pirates fan. There would be no Amazon.com then, no high definition television, no chocolate bars to make tolerable this existence. We would have no enjoyment, except in sleep & dreams. The eternal light with which bachelorhood fills the Manoverse would be extinguished. Not believe in Sammy Claus?? You might as well not believe in sunshine or naps!! Nobody sees Sammy Claus, but that doesn’t mean there is no Sammy Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither Ronnie Milsap nor Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge can see. No Sammy Claus?? Thank God I live, and will live forever…or atleast hopefully for another several decades. A thousand years from now, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, my legacy shall continue to make glad the hearts of bored & lonely web surfers everywhere.

 

For now though, you’ll just have to settle for the 2012 edition of The Wish List. As always, I yield no authority in making these dreams a reality and just have to hope that The Jolly Old Elf himself checks it out and may see fit to provide folks with the gifts which I am suggesting for them. Enjoy…and God bless us…everyone.

 

 

 

generic-hostess-twinkies-11_20121116160001_640_480Twinkies, HoHo’s, & Ding Dongs

A triumphant return. Over?? Nothing is over until we decide it is!! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?? Hell no!! And it ain’t over now.

 

 

wvWV Mountaineers football

A new defensive coordinator

 

 

Mitt-Romney-241055-4-402Mitt Romney

A very happy retirement from politics and much success in all future endeavors

 

 

51xf+aWEh-L._SL500_AA300_The Learning Channel & The History Channelhbb

Remembrance of their initial purposes. I’d include MTV too but even if they’d start playing music videos again I wouldn’t watch.

 

 

a-taylor-swift-1Taylor Swift

No more boyfriends for about 10 years!!

 

 

gavelSupreme Court Justices Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, Anthony Kennedy, & Samuel Alito

Good health & long lives

 

 

jetsThe NY Jets

A complete overhaul…new coaches, New GM, new QB, new RB, new WRs

 

 

american-flagConservatism

A voice that can properly articulate the message to America

 

 

katie-holmesKatie Holmes

The love of a good man…a normal man…a man who isn’t obsessed with some kind of freaky religious cult.

 

 

Belle-and-Gaston-50-Shades-of-GreyWomen Who Are Into 50 Shades of Grey

A Bible

 

 

sandler_rectAdam Sandler

Better taste in movies

 

 

obama_dr_evil51% of American Voters

All the chaos, socialism, higher taxes, and free stuff you voted for. You shall reap what you sow, and be careful what you ask for…you just might get it.

 

 

matt-lauer-today-show-tmz-2Matt Lauer

A slap in the face hard enough to knock his smugness into next week

 

 

Linnew-lindsay-lohan-mug-shotdsay Lohan

A good long stint in prison, because apparently that’s the only thing that’s going to get her attention.

 

 

c03-costas-21-4_3_r560Bob Costas, Rob Parker, & All Other Sports “Journalists”

The understanding that we don’t give a damn about your opinions on sociopolitical issues. Just gives us the scores, show some highlights, and do a little analysis of the games & teams. Do your job and keep your commentary to yourself.

 

 

kate-william-620_1763634bEngland’s Prince William & Kate Middleton

A healthy happy baby

 

 

dsc_1228NY City Mayor Michael Bloomberg

A 64 ounce Big Gulp

 

 

goodevil-copyThe NFL

A new commissioner

 

 

1345774554_7952_logo_abc_familyABC Family

The realization that it is unnecessary to have their logo in the corner of the TV screen constantly. It’s distracting and makes me want to change the channel.

 

 

bibleThe “Marriage Equality” Crowd

A Bible

 

 

134731142189_squareRihanna & Selena Gomezselena-gomez-hairstyles

Better taste in men

 

 

 

The 2nd Amendment

Flag-GodProtection from those who don’t understand that The Constitution isn’t the problem, lack of morality is.

 

 

 

big leastThe Big East

Extinction. Seriously, give up the ghost already.

 

 

Hanson_thumb_8-20-10NFL RedZone Host Scott Hanson

A huge bladder

 

 

 

As has become tradition I shall wrap up with a quote from the Rankin-Bass animated classic Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town:

“Lot’s of unhappiness? Maybe so. But doesn’t Santa take a little bit of that unhappiness away? Doesn’t a smile on Christmas morning scratch out a tear cried on AD_93889_SANTAJESUSa sadder day? Not much maybe. But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give –  of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa’s beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men.”

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A Look at the 2012-13 Bowl Season

In 1914 Yale University built a football stadium. It was the first bowl shaped stadium in the country and the prototype for what we take for granted as the typical stadium today. During this time there was only one college football post-season game to decide a national champion. It was played in Pasadena, CA and sponsored by the Roses Association, which had begun a New Year’s Day parade in 1890 and started the football tradition in 1902. By 1923 the game was such a 225px-Yale_Bowl_aerialhuge success that a new & bigger stadium was needed. The builders used the Yale Bowl as a template and called their stadium the Rose Bowl. The game played there became known as the Rose Bowl game. In 1933 some folks in Miami, FL thought that college football could stand to have another post-season game. They decided to capitalize on the popularity of the Rose Bowl by calling their game the Orange Bowl. Soon after the Sugar Bowl in New Orleans, the Sun Bowl in El Paso, TX and the Cotton Bowl in Dallas were born. The rest is history. And now you know why bowl games are called bowl games. As always I am here not only to entertain but to educate.

At any rate, I am trying something a bit different this year. I have broken down the plethora of bowl games into three tiers. Tier 3 consists of worthless games for which I can barely muster enough interest to even bother making a pick. Even as a huge football fan I doubt I’ll be watching them, and you probably won’t either. Surely there is a better way to spend one’s time, like self-mutilation or renting Mariah Carey’s Golden Raspberry award winning performance in 2001’s Glitter on DVD. Tier 2 games are largely mediocre and superfluous, but there are some decent matchups that might actually be somewhat entertaining. The Tier 3 games are the crème de la crème, the kings of the hill, the top o’ the heap. Unlike my Pigskin Picks of Profundity I will not be utilizing any point spreads. These are just straight up, win or lose, all or nothing prognostications. It is unlikely that means that’ll I’ll do any better though. As a matter of fact my picks will probably be mostly wrong as usual so as always, please, no wagering. Enjoy, and happy holidays!!

 

 

Tier 3

 

 

Potato Bowl – 12/15

Toledo (9-3) vs. Utah State (10-2)

This used to be known as the Humanitarian Bowl and is played on the famous blue turf in Boise, Idaho, which is the game’s only redeeming quality. I’ll take the Rockets to win convincingly.

 

Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl  –  12/21

UCF (9-4) vs. Ball State (9-3)

Beef O’Brady’s is a sports bar franchise in Florida and other southern states. The game itself is played in St. Petersburg (i.e. Tampa), FL. Yeah, I know…no one cares. I think Central Florida wins the game.

 

Las Vegas Bowl – 12/22

Boise State (10-2) vs. Washington (7-5)

Hey, atleast this game has a cool location. The Broncos are making their 3rd straight appearance after a huge Fiesta Bowl win in 2007.  Since they’ve won the past two quite easily I see no reason not to believe they’ll win again.

 

Hawaii Bowl – Christmas Eve

SMU (6-6) vs. Fresno State (9-3)

The game may not hold much interest for the casual fan, but kudos to these two teams for parlaying their mediocrity into a trip to Hawaii for Christmas. Mele Hula Dance 3Kalikimaka indeed. I’ll take the Bulldogs.

 

Little Caesars Bowl – 12/26

Western Kentucky (7-5) vs. Central Michigan (6-6)

Congratulations second-rate teams from second-rate conferences…you get to go to Detroit for Christmas!! Seriously…this is about a half step above an NAIA game. When did Western Kentucky upgrade from 1-AA?? I must have missed that. Anyway, I’ll take the Chippewas.

 

Military Bowl – 12/27

Bowling Green (8-4) vs. San Jose State (10-2)

Ummm…shouldn’t one of the military academies be playing in this game?? I assume Army would have been playing here…if they’d managed to attain more than 2 victories. I like the quality of football played in the MAC, so I’ll go with Bowling Green for the win.

 

Belk Bowl – 12/27

Duke (6-6) vs. Cincinnati (9-3)

Belk is a Carolina based department store chain found in the southern U.S. The game itself was formerly known as the Queen City Bowl, the Continental Tire Bowl, and the Meineke Car Care Bowl. It’s a shame the Bearcats couldn’t score a more significant contest after a 9 win season. Meanwhile, the Blue Devils have all the sudden upgraded their football program from comatose to average, so good job. Even considering the fact that coach Butch Jones has bolted for Tennessee I’d be stunned if Cincinnati didn’t win by double digits.

 

Meineke Car Care Bowl – 12/28

Minnesota (6-6) vs. Texas Tech (7-5)

Just because Charlotte’s game is now called the Belk Bowl doesn’t mean the Meineke people are out of the football business. They simply changed their sponsorship to this game in Houston. I am more familiar with Hayden Fox’s fictional Minnesota St. Screaming Eagles than the real life Minnesota Golden Gophers, but I have seen the Red Raiders play a few times this season so that’s the pick.

 

Russell Athletic Bowl – 12/28

Virginia Tech (6-6) vs. Rutgers (9-3)

This is the former Blockbuster Bowl, CarQuest Bowl, and MicronPC Bowl. The folks in Orlando change bowl sponsorships more often than Taylor Swift changes boyfriends. At any rate, the big question to me here is what in the world happened to Virginia Tech this year?? From 2004-2011 they won 10 or 11 games every season. They haven’t been this mediocre since a two win season in 1992. Meanwhile, Rutgers is preparing to move to The Big Ten and exiting The Big East on a high note. In any other year the Hokies would be an easy choice, but it seems like the two teams have reversed roles this year, so I’ll take the Scarlet Knights.

 

Armed Forces Bowl – 12/29

Rice (6-6) vs. Air Force (6-6)

It doesn’t get any more mediocre than two 6-6 teams that, if I were in charge, would not even be playing a post-season game. Teams shouldn’t be rewarded for simply breaking even. I honestly know next to nothing about either of these clubs, and I am tempted to pick Rice in honor of my friend The Owl, but I think I’ll go with Air Force.

 

Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl  – 12/29

Arizona State (7-5) vs. Navy (7-4)

Hey…atleast these two teams both won 7 games and have winning records, so that’s an improvement, right?? I’d love nothing more than to support our military academies, but in this case I just think that the Sun Devils have played a tougher schedule and shouldn’t have any problems with the Midshipmen.

 

Music City Bowl – New Year’s Eve

North Carolina State (7-5) vs. Vanderbilt (8-4)

I think most people have better things to do on New Year’s Eve than watch these two middle-of-the-road teams play in a middle-of-the-road bowl game. I do like NC St.’s QB Mike Glennon, who a lot of “experts” are saying has a decent shot to be a good NFL quarterback. That’s enough for me to give the Wolfpack the nod.

 

Liberty Bowl – New Year’s Eve

Iowa State (6-6) vs. Tulsa (10-3)

The records are probably a little misleading. Tulsa won 10 games but plays in C-USA. Iowa St. plays in the much tougher Big 12. I’ll take the Cyclones in what I guess would be considered an upset.

 

Sun Bowl – New Year’s Eve

Georgia Tech (6-7) vs. USC (7-5)

Can someone please explain to me why in the world a team with a LOSING record is being allowed to play in a bowl game?? This is especially aggravating when one considers the fact that a 9-3 Louisiana Tech team did not receive any kind of bowl invite and will be home for the holidays. That is insane and it’s just plain wrong. I know this season hasn’t exactly turned out the way the folks at Southern Cal had hoped (they were pre-season #1 in many polls), and the final insult is being forced to play an opponent with such an atrocious record. The only thing that can make this right is the Trojans winning this game in a h-u-g-e way.

 

Compass Bowl – 1/5

Pitt (6-6) vs. Mississippi (6-6)

Let me restate my annual joke about this bowl: Shouldn’t the game pit two directional schools against one another?? Anyway, as a lifelong WV Mountaineer fan compassI cannot in good conscience cheer for the hated Pitt Panthers, which works out just fine since they suck anyway. I’ll take Ole Miss in this one.

 

GoDaddy.com Bowl – 1/6

Kent State (11-2) vs. Arkansas State (9-3)

I hate this bowl game on a multitude of levels, not the least of which is the fact that it usually (and this year is no exception) features two teams that absolutely no one gives a damn about nearly a week after the season should have been over and all anyone is concentrating on is the following day’s National Championship Game. That being said, I suppose the smart play is to pick Kent to win handily.

 

 

 

 

Tier 2

 

Poinsettia Bowl – 12/20

BYU (7-5) vs. San Diego State (9-3)

The Cougars acquitted themselves quite nicely as an independent, with victories over…well, okay…they didn’t actually beat anyone of note, but they did garner 7 victories. The Aztecs defeated both Boise St. and Nevada, which is impressive. However, I am nothing if not loyal, and since I had BYU in my pre-season Top 25 I am going to stick with them here.

 

New Orleans Bowl  –  12/22

Louisiana-Lafayette (8-4) vs. East Carolina (8-4)

Here we have two teams that don’t receive much recognition because of the subpar conferences in which they play and the mostly weak schedules they have, but two teams that I guarantee you few schools would want to face as out-of-conference opponents. This should be a high scoring, fun game. Maybe we’ll get really lucky and something wacky will happen like they’ll go into 5 overtimes. The Pirates were another one of my pre-season Top 25 picks that didn’t quite go as well as I’d hoped, but I’ll pick them anyway.

 

New Mexico Bowl – 12/15

Nevada (7-5) vs. Arizona (7-5)

Now this should be a fun game to watch. It seems like both of these teams are better than their records would indicate, they’ve just been inconsistent. I don’t really want to cheer for a team coached by that assclown Rich Fraudriguez, but as much as I like the Wolfpack the Wildcats have a better resume and have been battle tested in a better conference. Arizona is the pick.

 

Holiday Bowl – 12/27

Baylor (7-5) vs. UCLA (9-4)

This is the game that West Virginia fans were hoping the Mountaineers would land in. Instead the powers-that-be chose Baylor. Ah well…c’est la vie. I think the Bruins are clearly the better team, and I’d be surprised if they didn’t win.

 

Independence  Bowl – 12/28

Louisiana-Monroe (8-4) vs. Ohio (8-4)

At first glance this looks like a completely forgettable matchup. However, I have seen both of these teams play a couple of times this season and something tells me this’ll be a really fun game. It isn’t as if these are two teams that just broke even and barely got into the post-season…they are both 8 win teams. I really like what coach Frank Solich has done with the Bobcats, although I am concerned that they come into this contest in the midst of a 3 game losing streak. Conversely, not only are the Warhawks riding a 2 game winning streak, but they have an impressive resume, having played both Auburn & Baylor extremely tough in close losses. It’s a real toss-up, but I’ll go with Ohio U.

 

Pinstripe Bowl – 12/29

Syracuse (7-5) vs. West Virginia (7-5)

Most Mountaineer fans aren’t the least bit excited about this game. It was bad enough that a potential national championship run and a legitimate Heisman depressioncandidacy for QB Geno Smith were derailed by a 5 game midseason swoon due to an atrocious defense, but once things got back on track rumors had the Eers headed to either the Alamo Bowl in San Antonio or the Holiday Bowl in San Diego. Then this game entered the picture and the rumor became a possible revival of The Backyard Brawl against Pitt. Unfortunately Panther fans don’t even bother to fill Heinz Field during the season let alone travel to a bowl game, so now a season once filled with so much promise for WVU ends against Syracuse in New York in December. Most of the time I’d rather receive a Brazilian wax from a blind transvestite than watch any game involving Syracuse. Geno, offensive spark plug Tavon Austin, & WR Stedman Bailey deserved so much better than this. I’ll be disappointed if West Virginia doesn’t hang damn near 100 points on the Orange and win by 50 points.

 

Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl – 12/29

Michigan State (6-6) vs. TCU (7-5)

Ehhh…more mediocrity from two teams who have certainly had better years.  This is the old Copper Bowl, which then became the Insight Bowl. It is played in Arizona, which means TCU will probably have more fans there. So I guess I’ll go with the Horned Frogs.

 

Chick-fil-A Bowl – New Year’s Eve

LSU (10-2) vs. Clemson (10-2)

I like Chick-fil-A a lot, but being a traditionalist I would prefer that this game go back to being known as the Peach Bowl.  Anyway, these are two solid teams and we should be treated to a great game. I think LSU is the better club though since they are battle tested in the ultra tough SEC, while Clemson plays in the somewhat less impressive ACC.

 

Heart of Dallas  –  New Year’s Day

Purdue (6-6) vs. Oklahoma State (7-5)

This is the new kid on the bowl block, having first been played in 2011. It was known then as the TicketCity Bowl. When I was a kid New Year’s Day games were reserved for the very best teams. I guess those days are gone. Anyway, I don’t think the Cowboys should have any problem winning this game.

 

Gator Bowl – New Year’s Day

Northwestern (9-3) vs. Mississippi State (8-4)

Two solid teams that were battled tested in good conferences. This might be a real sleeper insofar as it’ll probably be overlooked amid all the other games with bigger names, but it has the potential to steal the show. I’ll go with the Wildcats to get the victory.

 

Sugar Bowl – 1/2

Florida (11-1)  vs.  Louisville (10-2)

This is going to be a better game than most people think, but as much as I like Louisville there is no doubt that the Gators play a much tougher schedule and have a lot more talent. Cardinals head coach Charlie Strong was the leading candidate for the Tennessee coaching position but decided to stay put, which is commendable. I am very tempted to pick an upset, but I just can’t pull the trigger. I don’t think it will be a blowout, but I do expect Florida to win.

 

Orange Bowl – New Year’s Day 

Florida St. (11-2)         vs.  Northern Illinois (12-1)

Lots of talking heads have had their knickers in a twist about this game. They tend to view college football as an exclusive club where the only teams that count are Notre Dame, the SEC, the Big Ten, the Pac 12, and maybe half the teams from the ACC & Big 12. Northern Illinois is looked at as an outsider that doesn’t belong in the club. Are the Seminoles bigger, faster, stronger, and more athletic?? To a large degree yes they are. But I do think that the Huskies deserve a little more respect than they are getting. Having said that, I think Florida St wins & wins big.

 

National Championship Game – 1/7 

Notre Dame (12-0)      vs.    Alabama (12-1)          

99% of football fans in America are beyond excited about this game. For probably the only time in my life I am actually in the 1%. You see, I am an underdog 1-foam-hand-12-szsp2661041-378x386kind of guy. I need a little guy, a lovable loser type to root for. There is no such animal in this matchup. These are two of the elite programs in the history of college football, with something like 27 national championships between them. This is the Tide’s 3rd title game in 4 years. Notre Dame is back on top for the first time since 1988-89. I have searched deeply for something to cheer about here, and the two things that I’ve come up with are…stunningly…in Notre Dame’s favor. First of all, I have been truly impressed with Irish linebacker Manti Te’o. He seems like a genuinely good guy and someone very deserving of his accolades. Secondly, as most citizens of the Manoverse know, I am a big fan of ESPN’s Mike & Mike in the Morning (back to back Sammy Award winner for Best TV Show). Mike Golic’s two sons Mike Jr. & Jake are both seniors for Notre Dame. It doesn’t seem likely that either will follow their father’s or their uncle Bob Golic’s footsteps into the NFL, so this is it for them. Knowing how great it’d be for the Golics to win this game makes me smile ever so slightly, enough to…for probably the first & last time in my life…pull for the Irish.

       

 

 

 

Tier 1

 

Alamo Bowl – 12/29

Texas (8-4) vs. Oregon State (9-3)

I wish West Virginia were playing in this game, but I have to admit that they ended up with quite a good matchup. Both of these teams showed flashes during the season but were just inconsistent. I think this’ll be a shootout with the Beavers coming out on top.

 

Capital One Bowl – New Year’s Day

Georgia (11-2) vs. Nebraska (10-3)

This is the old Tangerine Bowl which then became the Florida Citrus Bowl. I am loathe to comment on a game actually named after a credit card, but I’ll ignore 0the sudden tics I am experiencing a forge ahead. Georgia was THIS close to beating Alabama and making it to the title game, but had an inexplicable brain fart. Nebraska got pasted in the Big Ten championship by Wisconsin and lost out on an opportunity to go to The Rose Bowl. So neither team is playing where they’d really prefer to be playing. This isn’t necessarily a bad consolation prize though, and fans should be the big winners. I think Nebraska is a decent team, but they were exposed on several fronts by Wisconsin. Georgia might have an eye on a pre-season 2013 Top 5 ranking if they win this game, so I’ll go with the Bulldogs.

 

Outback Bowl – New Year’s Day

South Carolina (10-2) vs. Michigan (8-4)

I really thought these teams would have better seasons. I had both in my pre-season top 3. There is no doubt in my mind that this will be an extremely entertaining game to watch, chockfull of big plays and touchdowns. On paper the Gamecocks clearly look like the better team, but the vibes are speaking to me again and saying to pick Michigan. And of course I always listen to The Voices.

 

Cotton Bowl – 1/4

Oklahoma (10-2) vs. Texas A&M (10-2)

The Aggies acquitted themselves quite nicely in their inaugural SEC season, even beating then #1 ‘Bama. Freshman QB Johnny Manziel has taken the college football world by storm. Meanwhile, the Sooners actually had higher hopes. There are very few teams in America for whom a 10 win season is a disappointment, but Oklahoma is one of them. It’ll be interesting to see how Johnny Football does against the Sooner defense. Can he duplicate the results he produced against the Tide?? I’d love to see that, and I think it just might happen. I’m going with A&M in a squeaker.

 

Rose Bowl – New Year’s Day 

Stanford  (11-2)          vs.    Wisconsin  (8-5)

Yikes…has an 8 win team ever played in The Granddaddy?? Thanks to the…indiscretions…at Penn St. & Ohio St. the Badgers got the opportunity to play in the red-roses-photoBig Ten title game and took full advantage by blasting Nebraska. Meanwhile Stanford plugged right along with another stellar season even after losing QB Andrew Luck to the NFL. I suppose Wisconsin can’t be completely discounted given what they accomplished to get here, but I don’t think they can do that two games in a row, especially since their head coach just bolted to Arkansas. Stanford should win easily.

 

Fiesta Bowl – 1/3  

Kansas St. (11-1)       vs.    Oregon (11-1)

This should have been the national championship game. These are two of the most exciting teams on the college football landscape, and if not for the Wildcats shocking stumble against Baylor and Oregon’s overtime loss to Stanford they’d be playing for the big trophy. If the 4 team playoff that begins in a couple of years were already in place one or both teams would almost certainly be in it. Alas, there is no use looking ahead or crying over spilled milk. The winner here will probably finish #2 in the final poll, which is a fine accomplishment. I expect a high scoring affair so if you’re the betting kind the over is probably a safe pick. At the end of the day I think Oregon’s speed will be just a bit too much for K-St., and I expect the Ducks to have the edge in special teams as well. Oregon will win, but it’ll be close and loads of fun.

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2012 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 13

Why is it that baseball, which I like but not THAT much, and basketball, which is okay but not really special, both have seasons that seem to drag on for eons, while football, which I adore, is seemingly over in the blink of an eye?? Don’t worry fellow fans…we haven’t reached the end of the road just yet, but on the collegiate level the conference title games are here and potential bowl matchups are already being pondered. In the NFL crunch time is fast approaching, with some teams already facing must win scenarios to remain in the playoff conversation. Here at The Manofesto your humble Potentate of Profundity has had two straight 4-3 weeks, which brings my overall record up to 36-53-1. I’d have to have a stunningly strong finish to get to .500, but one never knows, right?? I think we’ll go with a strictly college lineup this week since it’s the last hurrah for them and we’re going to be restricted to just the NFL going forward.

 

 

 

 

Louisville            at      Rutgers (-3)

The Big East doesn’t have a title game. Hell, they barely have a conference. At any rate, this game will serve as a de facto championship contest, as the winner will get the automatic BCS berth, likely to face the ACC champion in The Orange Bowl. Just for kicks…and because I picked them to finish 20th in my pre-season Top 25…I’ll pick the upset here and go with Louisville.

 

 

Boise St. (-8.5)  at      Nevada

Ahhh…Boise St…remember them?? After being “BCS Busters” the past few years they have largely been forgotten about in 2012 despite having a stellar 9-2 record. Meanwhile, the Wolfpack have compiled a solid yet unimpressive 7-4 season. I don’t think this’ll be much of a game, and it will certainly get lost in the shuffle amidst all the conference championship games on the schedule. The good news for both of these teams is that they will be going bowling…Nevada has already accepted a bid to the December 15th New Mexico Bowl, while the Broncos might be heading to Vegas a week later. As for this game, Boise is the pick.

 

 

Central Florida  at      Tulsa

This contest is all even according to the folks in Vegas, and it is the Conference USA championship game, which means it is slightly less important than the Big East game and in a tight race with explosive diarrhea & anything starring a Wayans brother on the interest scale. That being said, I did pick the 9-3 Knights to finish 16th in my pre-season poll, so I suppose I shall stick with that and pick Central Florida to get the win.

 

 

UCLA        at      Stanford (-9)

Didn’t these two teams just play each other?? Yes…yes they did. Stanford smoked the Bruins 35-17 just a few days ago in Pasadena, and now this game will determine who will get to return to Pasadena in January to represent the Pac 12 in The Rose Bowl. This time the two combatants meet on Stanford’s home turf in Palo Alto. Of course it isn’t as if Bruin fans can’t take a short plane ride to see the game, although the 400 mile jaunt may be a bit of a trek in a car. Anyway, I see no reason to believe that the result will be any different this time, especially with a trip to the beloved Granddaddy of All Bowl Games on the line. Stanford should win by a comfortable margin.

 

 

Alabama (-7.5)   vs.    Georgia

Not only is this the vaunted SEC title game, but the victor is assured a spot in the national championship to face Notre Dame. Of course every football fan in the country, and especially all the media types & TV suits at ESPN are already having nocturnal emissions in anticipation of a ‘Bama-ND matchup, but the Tide must get by the Bulldogs first. I must admit that I left the Bulldogs out of my pre-season poll because I figured that someone in the SEC would have to get squeezed out. I incorrectly chose Tennessee & Arkansas to have good seasons, which of course they did not. Instead it is Georgia who stands in the way of the greatest game in the history of any sport with a ball (if you believe the talking heads). Interestingly enough this is…technically…a neutral site game being played at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta. I have a feeling this could end up being a really fun contest. I will stop short of picking an outright upset, but I do sincerely believe that if Alabama wins it will not be by more than a touchdown, so Georgia is the pick.

 

 

Texas        at      Kansas St. (-10.5)

The Wildcats were in line to play for the national title until inexplicably stumbling against a very average Baylor club a couple of weeks ago. They can still make it to the BCS (likely the Fiesta Bowl) with a win here, but the 8-3 Longhorns will have a lot to say about that. Also at stake is K-State QB Collin Klein’s last chance to impress Heisman voters. There’s been a big push in the last few weeks for Texas A&M signal caller Johnny Manziel and Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o, but Klein could get the nod with a strong performance in this game. The Longhorns might get a bid to the Cotton Bowl with a win. Regardless of who ultimately comes out on top I don’t think it’ll be a double digit victory, so Texas is the pick.

 

 

Wisconsin                   vs.    Nebraska (-2.5)

This is the Big Ten championship game and will be played on a neutral field at Lucas Oil Field in Indianapolis. The Badgers are 7-5 and actually finished 3rd in their division, but because no one at their school molested little boys or traded merchandise for tattoos & lied about it they get the opportunity to play for the title and represent the conference in The Rose Bowl. These two teams played one another at the end of September in Lincoln, with the Cornhuskers eeking out a 3 point win. The Badgers come into the contest limping a bit, having lost their last two games to Tattoo U. & Pedophile St. There is no logical reason in the world to pick Wisconsin, and for once I will actually go with the prevailing logic and pick Nebraska.

 

 

 

 

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Thanksgiving, Black Friday, & The Christmas Creep

Happy Holidays citizens of The Manoverse!! Alas, today I come not to praise our most wonderful time of the year, but to express a bit of frustration.

 

Yesterday we celebrated that most American of holidays…Thanksgiving. We’ll look at the holiday itself a little closer this time next year because I am currently reading a delightful book about its history, but I just ran out of time to finish it before the big day itself came & went. However, for now let me just say that I feel bad for Thanksgiving. It really has begun to get lost in the shuffle the past decade or so. We don’t appreciate Thanksgiving on its own merits anymore. Instead we look at it merely as the kickoff to the Christmas season. If Christmas is the Super Bowl then Thanksgiving is the pre-game show to which people don’t bother giving their full attention. There was a time, believe it or not, in colonial America that Thanksgiving was the main event and Christmas wasn’t even commemorated. Thanksgiving was a celebration that lasted for several days in reverence to God and the blessings that He had seen fit to bestow. Somehow we’ve gone from that deeply spiritual sense of appreciation to treating Thanksgiving like a Nascar pit stop where we take just a few minutes out of our busy schedule to stuff our faces with turkey, stuffing, & pie and maybe watch a football game before rushing to the mall for some retail therapy. All we care about is that we have a paid day off from the job we hate and get a free pass on our diet for the day. Those things aren’t necessarily bad (because really…who doesn’t enjoy a day off & a big hunk o’ pie??), but they should be secondary benefits, not the main focus of our gratitude.

 

Things have gotten progressively crazier over the past decade with the growth of a phenomenon called Black Friday. The term itself was coined back in the 60’s or 70’s, and interestingly was originally an environmentalist wacko reference. It alluded to the increased traffic that clogs up the streets (and pollutes the air) on the Friday after Thanksgiving. Eventually it evolved to mean the day when retailers go “in the black”, i.e. when their year becomes profitable. Black Friday has long been lauded as the busiest shopping day of the year, but I have my doubts as to whether or not that is always the case. Logic dictates that “the busiest shopping day of the year” would be a moving target, changing annually based on a plethora of circumstances. At any rate, when I was a kid, if memory serves me correctly, there were always the occasional “midnight madness” sales, but the whole thing wasn’t this huge nationwide event. In the past several years the idea has blown up and taken on a life of its own. At first stores would open up at 5 or 6 in the morning. Then it became 3am. Eventually it became the norm for most places to begin the insanity at midnight. And now, in 2012, establishments like Target & K-Mart actually opened up on the evening of Thanksgiving. So Black Friday actually began on Thursday. I grew up in an era when blue laws were still in effect. It wasn’t until I was a teenager that malls and other outlets began opening up on Sunday, so it is hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of anything other than essential services like hospitals & police departments being open for business on a major holiday.

 

Society has been lamenting the commercialization of Christmas for decades. It is even referenced by a character in the classic 1947 holiday film Miracle on 34th Street. And it just keeps getting more appalling every year. Thanksgiving and Christmas used to be their own distinguishable holidays. Then they became connected when the former began being marketed as the official kickoff of the latter. All the sudden instead of two distinct days on the calendar we had an entire, month long holiday season. Personally I’ve never had a huge issue with that because, as I have written here abundantly I love everything about the holidays. I love the lights. I love the movies. I love the food. I love the music. I believe it is alright to enjoy the peripheral accoutrements associated with Christmas as long as we always maintain our focus on the true reason for the season, which is of course the birth of our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. However, I am a bit disturbed at the direction things have taken in recent years.

 

First of all I am not at all convinced that there is much of a focus on The Lord anymore. Did you know that in the early days of our nation folks used to spend nearly the entire Thanksgiving Day in church?? Of course this isn’t just a holiday problem…it’s a year round issue. It has become quite popular to hate God in America these days. We’ve pushed Him out of nearly every facet of public life and really don’t heed His words much in our personal lives. That is a much bigger topic than I want to go into at the moment, but suffice to say that the whole purpose of Thanksgiving & Christmas is quickly becoming entirely lost in our modern society.

 

Secondly, as much as I love all the ancillary trappings of the holiday season I do think there should be limits. Things have progressed (or regressed, depending on one’s perspective) to the point that stores begin selling Christmas related items, radio stations start playing carols, television airs holiday films, and people decorate their homes as early as October. We definitely gloss over Thanksgiving, and oftentimes begin “celebrating” Christmas even before Halloween!! I do NOT like walking into WalMart or any other retailer and seeing a Christmas tree in October. #22 of my 35 Undeniable Truths of Life is that “It’s always about the money. Always.”, and there is no denying that the Christmas Creep is driven by greed. Look, I get it. I understand that there is very little profit to be made from Thanksgiving outside of turkey & the other various foodstuffs involved and that Christmas has become a huge cottage industry that can make or break the bottom line for a lot of businesses. But I also feel like there are other forces at work.

 

I believe that we are a very unhappy, unfulfilled, unsatisfied society. Political correctness & hatred of God have become inescapably pervasive. One has to be careful about words spoken and actions taken because everyone is so easily offended. The economy is bad and jobs are scarce or inadequate. We try many things to fill the void…alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, mindless entertainment. So when Christmas rolls around we have developed a habit of jumping the gun. We decorate the house a few weeks sooner, look forward to shopping for our loved ones, and don’t seem to mind the music & movies being played in October. Christmas makes us happy, and we are desperately seeking happiness. I suppose that’s not such a bad thing, but I still think we should tread lightly. It’s human to want what we cannot have. What the Christmas industry has done (and I can’t honestly blame them) is give us what we want. They understand that Rudolph, twinkle lights, wrapping paper, and Bing Crosby put a smile on our face. Christmas is a drug and Best Buy, WalMart, Sears, and all the rest are dealers. The problem with getting high is the inevitable low, which in the case of Christmas Creep is the backlash and desensitization to the magical wonder that is Christmas.

 

It is ironic that this is the time of year when one frequently hears the old maxim that “good things come in small packages”, yet we have taken what was once a couple of very lovely days on the calendar and made them into a stretch of time that lasts more than a quarter of our year. I do not leave the comfort of The Bachelor Palace on Black Friday for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that a day that involves a sea of humanity isn’t comfortable for a guy who has grown increasingly exasperated by human beings. To paraphrase Popeye’s pal Wimpy, I’ll gladly pay extra next week for an item that you got today for an awesome discount. I sincerely enjoyed my Thanksgiving, and do my best to appreciate the blessings that God has given me. I had a great meal and enjoyed a lovely day with family. I will embrace the Christmas season with my usual verve & childlike delight. But above all else I will continue to give thanks to God, who gave his only begotten Son so that I could have the opportunity to enjoy eternal life. There is nothing wrong with giving (and receiving) gifts, company parties, hoping Ralphie doesn’t shoot his eye out, or roasting chestnuts on an open fire. I just don’t want to wake up one day and end up doing those things in the summer.

 

 

 

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2012 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 12

The football fun starts early this week, with several college & pro games taking place on Thanksgiving & Black Friday. I knew this but still somehow managed to procrastinate until the last minute. Let me seize the opportunity to wish all the citizens of The Manoverse a healthy & happy Thanksgiving filled with family, food, and faith. I’m going to keep it pretty short & sweet today because I have a dinner to go to!! There’s some stuffing & pie with my name on it just waiting to be savored. God bless & enjoy.

 

 

 

Washington       at      Dallas (-3)

Cowboys versus Indians on Thanksgiving. I think we all know how this story goes. The Redskins are a team on the rise while the Cowboys are a dysfunctional joke, but in this one game they’ll get the job done.

 

 

Houston (-3)      at      Detroit

I’m stunned that the Texans are only favored by three points. Yes the Lions have the home field advantage, and they are used to the short week & playing on Thanksgiving. But Houston is clearly the better team and should win easily.

 

 

New England (-7) at   NY Jets

The oddsmakers either know something we don’t or were feeling really generous this week. I suppose a 7 point spread is considered rather large in the NFL, and of course the Jets have the home field. But again, the Patriots are far & away the better team. It makes me cringe to pick New England to win anything, but I just call ‘em as I see ‘em.

 

 

Michigan            at      Ohio St. (-3.5)

The Buckeyes are undefeated, but since they are on probation & ineligible for post-season play this is their bowl game. Michigan is still in the hunt for a possible Big Ten title so they have something to play for. I think home field means a lot more in college than the NFL, so normally I’d be easily persuaded to go with Ohio St., but those pesky (and notoriously inaccurate) vibes are speaking to me. You’d think I would have learned to ignore them by now. Anyway, call it karma, call it justice, call it whatever you want, but a team that has something to play for deserves a victory over a program that cheated & lied, no matter how silly the cheating may have been. Go Wolverines!!

 

 

Florida                at      Florida St. (-7.5)

Even with the home field I am a bit surprised that the Seminoles are getting so much respect from the folks in Vegas. It’s not that Florida St. is bad…that’s not what I mean. It’s more that the Gators are that good, not to mention several spots higher in the polls. Also, this is a rivalry game which means the records don’t mean much. I do think Florida St. gets the upset (if one goes by the rankings), but I foresee a much closer contest. The Gators lose but not by 7 1/2 points.

 

 

Seattle  (-3)        at      Miami

Both the Seahawks and the Dolphins have been much better teams than most anticipated thus far. Sure Miami is only 4-6, but 4 of those losses have been by a total of 14 points, two of them in overtime. They’ve only been dominated twice. Meanwhile, the Seahawks are battling for a possible playoff appearance and are actually still in contention for a division crown. Both clubs have been inconsistent and difficult to figure out, so I just have to go with my vibes on this one and they are leaning toward Miami.

 

 

Atlanta (-1)                   at      Tampa Bay

Until a couple of weeks ago the Falcons were undefeated and making me look like a complete idiot since back in September I predicted they’d go 7-9. I had the same exact negative prediction for the Bucs and they too are proving me wrong by being in the thick of the wild card race. This could be one of the better games on the schedule this weekend, and even the oddsmakers see it as essentially a toss-up. Atlanta is probably the better team, but I’m going with Tampa to get the upset.

 

 

 

 

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Superfluous 7…..Great Movie Scenes Part II

When I did the initial list of great movie scenes a couple of weeks ago I warned you that, in true cinematic tradition, there would be a sequel. As with the previous list I tried to find the best possible video but wasn’t successful in all cases. I hope these bring back good memories and remain optimistic that Hollywood, despite being a liberal bastion of questionable ethics & moral decay, will provide more of these moments in the future. Until then, The Manofesto proudly presents…..

 

 

from the home office in Horseheads, NY…..

 

 

 

The Superfluous 7 Great Movie Scenes Part II:

 

 

 

7 The Deli in When Harry Met Sally

I am secure enough in my machismo to admit that I like a good romantic comedy, otherwise known as a rom-com or a chick flick. Among the best of that particular genre is 1989’s When Harry Met Sally, starring Billy Crystal & Meg Ryan (back when she was cute & perky and not a science experiment gone horribly wrong) in a story that asks the much debated question of whether or not men & women can simply be friends. Early on in the film, while having dinner at a deli, the two

debate the concept of women faking…pleasure, with her stating that most women have done so at one point or another, and him confidently declaring that no one has ever done so with him. She decides to…ummm…demonstrate, which is amusing enough. However, what boosts the scene’s notability factor is the very end, when another customer at the eatery nonchalantly quips to a waitress that “I’ll have what she’s having”. Hilarious. Interesting trivia: that patron is portrayed by director Rob Reiner’s mother Estelle. I guess we all really do have our 15 minutes of fame.

 

 

6 The Motel Room in Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

The best…maybe only…Thanksgiving film is 1987’s Planes, Trains, & Automobiles. The ingredients of this movie are almost perfect: a buddy/road trip comedy with a holiday motif written & directed by the sublime John Hughes and starring comic geniuses John Candy & Steve Martin. With a recipe

like that it’d have to be darn near flawless. Midway thru there is a scene where Candy & Martin are sharing a motel room with only one bed. The two wake up and Candy believes that one of his hands is between two pillows. Unfortunately for both men his hand is actually…elsewhere. It’s a really funny scene in a really funny movie that I look forward to seeing annually at this time of the year.

 

 

5 Sonny’s Death in The Godfather

Nearly every scene in The Godfather is memorable and pitch perfect, which is why a few of them have made these lists. One of the more violent scenes (especially by 1972 standards) is the death of Don Vito Corleone’s eldest son Santino, played by the incomparable James Caan. Anyone who has watched The Godfather knows that Sonny is a bit of a hothead, and when he races off in the midst of

a mob war with no protection to confront his malicious brother-in-law Carlo (who is physically abusive to his wife, Sonny’s sister) he pays the ultimate price for his recklessness. If you have ever watched Santino Corleone executed firing squad style in a hail of gunfire then it probably runs across your mind whenever you have to pass thru a tollbooth. I’ve always heard that actors are attracted to a really good death scene, and I think Caan has the honor of starring in one of the most extraordinary ones in the history of cinema.

 

 

4 Tom Hanks Gets Emotional in Forrest Gump

There are two scenes in Forrest Gump that I believe clinched Tom Hanks his second Academy Award for Best Actor. Gump is one of those hybrid dramedies that I absolutely adore. There are moments of laugh-out-loud conviviality, but they are almost always followed by a sober moment that lets you know that this isn’t a traditional comedy. Toward the end of the film nearly all vestiges of amusement are put aside and the story becomes quite serious. The best scene in the film, in my humble opinion, is when Forrest Gump catches up with his love Jenny sometime in the early 80’s

and he finds out that he fathered her child. Forrest physically recoils in horrific shock and poignantly asks Jenny “Is he smart or is he…??”, and we can fill in the blanks. Forrest wants to know if the boy is…oh, I don’t know what the
proper terminology is…dumb, slow, retarded, mentally challenged?? It becomes clear that the supposedly dimwitted Forrest is acutely cognizant of his low IQ, and it is a powerful moment not only due to his self-awareness but also because of his selfless concern for the child and the possibility that he may have inherited his father’s shortcomings. The second scene is after Jenny dies (ostensibly of AIDS) and Forrest talks to her grave. Hanks conveys Forrest’s sadness & emotion in such a way that we feel his pain & grieve Jenny’s death as well, even though she hasn’t exactly been a model citizen throughout the story.

 

 

3 The Hospital in The Godfather     

I sincerely believe that this is one of the most criminally disregarded scenes in cinema. It is so overlooked that I couldn’t even find a clip (but please enjoy Francis Ford Coppola on Inside the Actor’s Studio). As I said earlier, The Godfather is overflowing with fantastic scenes, but unlike the grandiose virtuosity of the more acclaimed scenes this one is more subtle, even though it is dripping with dramatic tension. When one considers the fact that the whole Godfather trilogy essentially centers around the rise & fall of Michael Corleone it becomes clear that what takes place in the

hospital is a linchpin. Michael goes to visit his father, who has been shot. Finding the building all but abandoned, Michael quickly assesses the situation and figures out that The Don’s enemies are on their way to finish the job. We see that Michael, who heretofore has not been involved in the mafia, is the direct opposite of his older brothers Santino & Fredo. Santino angers easily and acts before he thinks…Michael is cool as a cucumber. Fredo is a slow witted bundle of nerves…Michael is fearless & sharp as a tack. Basically we learn that, as opposed to the traditional hierarchy, it is the baby brother who is absolutely perfect to take over leadership of the family empire…not his elder siblings. Michael was born to lead. As he & a nurse move the ailing patriarch to another room to hide from the would be assassins Michael bends over and softly whisper’s into his semi-conscious father’s ear “I’m with you now…I’m with you”. It is the moment that Michael Corleone crosses over to the dark side.

 

 

2 The Big Reveal in The Empire Strikes Back

Speaking of The Dark Side…

One of the most infamous scenes in one of the most beloved film trilogies of all time is the moment

when our hero, Luke Skywalker, learns his true parentage…that he is the son of the story’s evil villain Darth Vader. This of course was decades before The Internet and our collective obsession with spoilers. Since George Lucas only let less than a half dozen people in on the secret it was a genuine shock to moviegoers. It’s a shame that such an amazing moment would be almost impossible to pull off today.

 

 

1 The Indianapolis in Jaws

When the triumvirate of Roy Schneider, Richard Dreyfus, & Robert Shaw set out to catch the shark in Steven Spielberg’s magnificent 1975 epic Jaws, the three men spend some quality time in their boat waiting. During that time they are shown drinking a bit, which prompts them to break into a rousing rendition of the British folk song “Show Me the Way to Go Home”. Unfortunately that’s when the shark decides to show up and end their merriment. But before that we are given a real gem

and one of the best soliloquys ever on film, when Shaw’s shark hunter Quint relays the chilling story of being on the USS Indianapolis, an American warship that was sunk by the Japanese in the summer of 1945, causing the single greatest
loss of life at sea in the history of the United States Navy.  The Indianapolis delivered the atomic bomb that would eventually be known as Little Boy to an air base on The Tinian Islands just weeks before it was dropped on Hiroshima, but was then lost on its return trip. Nearly 1200 men were on board and only about a quarter of them survived. In Jaws we are told that Quint was one of them, and he relays, in mesmerizing detail, how a great many of those that died were eaten by sharks.

 

 

 

 

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2012 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 11

Last week I went 2-4-1, with Louisville & the Detroit Lions really letting me down. I am perfectly aware when I roll the dice and have come to expect that more often than not I lose those gambles, but there are times when I am actually pretty confident that a pick is as close to a lock as one can hope for in football and when I lose those it really stings. Unfortunately I have lost a lot of those this season, which is why my overall record now stands at 28-47-1. If I were a coach or being paid by anyone to do this I would have already been shown the door. Luckily I am my own boss here so I can just move forward and hope to do better this week. The college schedule is inexplicably polluted with top teams playing cupcakes, which seems weird so late in the season, and the NFL schedule is beginning to feel repetitive & tedious at this juncture, but I have cobbled together 7 games that should be entertaining enough.

 

 

 

Florida State (-31)            at            Maryland

This is one of those games where the outcome is almost a foregone conclusion, but the interesting thing is the spread. The 9-1 Seminoles will almost certainly beat the 4-6 Terrapins, but will they win by over 4 TDs?? Such large victories are not foreign to Florida St., as they have won over half of their games by more than 40 points. Meanwhile, Maryland, who I crazily ranked 15th in my pre-season Top 25, has lost a lot but they weren’t being blown out until their last two games. I am going out on a limb and predicting that Florida St. has a slightly off week and only wins by 20-28 points.

 

 

Rutgers                at            Cincinnati (-6)

It was the Bearcats that I picked to win The Big East and finish in the top 15, but even though they have an impressive 7-2 record it is their opponent this week, the Scarlet Knights, who are currently ranked in the Top 25. That could flip flop here with a Cincinnati victory. I think these are two evenly matched teams and it should be an exciting game, so when all other things are equal the home field advantage comes into play. I think Cincinnati wins & covers, and maybe next week we’ll see them ranked.

 

 

USC (-3.5)            at            UCLA

I wonder when the last time these two teams played against one another in a meaningful game?? It seems like the Bruins have been below average for a number of years, all while the Trojans have been constantly in the thick of the national championship conversation. This game could possibly decide who represents The Pac 12 in The Rose Bowl, assuming Oregon makes it to the title game. Both teams are ranked in the top 20, but one gets the feeling that USC is struggling to hold on (they’ve lost 2 out of their last 3) while UCLA is riding a 4 game winning streak. Normally I would go with the home team in a game like this, but it is quite telling that the boys in Vegas consider Southern Cal the favorite. The vibes are strong with this one, as I sense that the Trojans will seize the opportunity to save their season.

 

 

Texas Tech          at            Oklahoma State (-10)

I have really been enjoying The Big 12 this season, except for the part where my WV Mountaineers completely suck and are struggling to become bowl eligible after all the pre-season hype of a possible national title run. Anyway, these are both solid teams in the lower echelon of the Top 25, but after they clash one will obviously fall by the wayside while one remains ranked. I assume it’ll be a high scoring game and fun to watch. I am a little surprised that it’s a double digit spread, which is kind of disrespectful to a very talented Red Raider team. However, Tech has lost 2 out of their past 4 games and went to overtime to win the other two, so I suppose the odds make sense. I just have a feeling it’ll be a little bit closer than that though, so Texas Tech is the pick.

 

 

Stanford              at            Oregon (-20.5)

I have learned my lesson. The Ducks win and they win big. But after Alabama was knocked off their perch last week it is Oregon that sits in the driver’s seat while Kansas St. & Notre Dame battle for the #2 spot, so might they take their foot off the gas just a little bit?? Stanford is much more on the level of USC, who Oregon defeated by only 11 points, and Arizona St., who the Ducks beat by a mere 22 points, rather than the likes of Arizona, Washington, or Cal that were all destroyed by the boys in green by 30+ points. This’ll probably be one of those games that the oddsmakers have somehow magically pegged perfectly, meaning that either way I go I’ll be sweating it out right down to the last possession. I have too much respect for Stanford to believe that they’ll get smoked by 3 TDs, so I’ll pick them to cover the spread. I am sure I’ll regret it. So yeah…I guess I didn’t learn my lesson.

 

 

Tampa Bay (-1.5)             at            Carolina

Wow, did I ever have the Panthers figured wrong. I thought they’d be a playoff team and QB Cam Newton would continue his rise to prominence. Instead Newton is a headcase that is looking more like a bad mix of the worst of Vince Young & Donovan McNabb, and his supporting cast isn’t nearly as good as I’d thought they’d be. Conversely, the Bucs are riding rookie RB Doug Martin straight into playoff contention. Plain & simple…it’s over for Carolina, while Tampa has to keep winning to stay in contention in the ultra-competitive NFC.

 

 

Chicago                at            San Francisco (-5)

Earlier this week I thought this’d be a game featuring two backup quarterbacks. Both Bears’ signal caller and 49ers starter Alex Smith were injured last weekend, but it looks like Smith is good to go. Chicago will rely on former Redskins & Raiders QB Jason Campbell, who isn’t a bad second option. This was always going to be a defensive struggle no matter who was behind center, so I don’t think it matters all that much anyway. It’s this week Monday night game and it should be a low scoring affair with lots of handoffs & punts. I am sure the folks at ESPN are thrilled. At any rate, conventional wisdom favors the home team and the spread isn’t outrageous, so I’ll go with Frisco to pull out a yawn inspiring victory.

 

 

 

 

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2012 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 10

Well, I did it. I gave myself a bye week. It was actually kind of an accident. As usual Friday night snuck up on me, but I had other things going on and just wasn’t in a football kind of mood. But now we are back on track. Right now I am 26-43 and have discovered much to my surprise that the NFL is actually easier to forecast than the NCAA. I would have thought it’d be the other way around.

 

 

 

 

Louisville (-1.5)           at                     Syracuse

I suppose since I put both of these teams in my pre-season Top 25 I have an obligation to pick their game. Louisville has actually fared even better than I thought and currently find themselves undefeated & in the Top 10. The Orange, on the other hand, aren’t quite there yet. They need to win 2 out of their final 3 just to break even and possibly sneak into some lower tier bowl game that no one will watch. I don’t think it’s gonna happen this year, and I don’t think Louisville will have much trouble winning this game. I am a bit surprised the spread is so small.

 

 

Oregon State              at                    Stanford (-4)

This should be an excellent game. Both teams are ranked in the top 15 and could sneak into Rose Bowl consideration if the Oregon Ducks make it to the national championship game. But first they need a victory here. I am going to go against my usual modus operandi of leaning toward the home team by picking a slight upset. I have watched both teams play a couple of times and the Beavers seem like a better team.

 

 

Kansas State (-6)                     at                    TCU

K-St. is in a real battle with Oregon to see who’ll earn the right to be defeated by Alabama in the title game. It looks like, because of the way the BCS computer calculate the various criteria, that the Ducks will ultimately be that team, assuming both they and the Wildcats remain undefeated. But can K-St. stay unbeaten?? The majority of the experts seem to think so, and who am I to argue?? However, I sincerely believe that the Horned Frogs are a very talented team that shouldn’t be overlooked. I think Kansas State wins this game, but it very well might be in OT or with a last second field goal. So I’ll take TCU to cover the points.

 

 

Oregon (-28.5)                  at                California

Wow…both Oregon & Oregon State on the slate this week?? Call it the Charlie Simms Special. Hooah!! Anyway, if the Ducks can stay clean in their remaining games they’ll earn the right to lose to Alabama in the national championship game. They’ll get one of those wins here, but by how much?? The spread…more than 4 TDs…is awfully big. Obviously the 3-7 Golden Bears aren’t that good, but are they that bad?? I get very nervous about huge spreads like this, but Oregon has motivation. They need “style points” to impress voters and get all the BCS advantages they’ll need to edge Kansas State for #2. They have beaten every opponent they have faced soundly…three TDS or more…except Fresno St. (who they defeated by 17) and the USC Trojans, who they edged by 11 points. Something tells me this spread is just a bit too big and that Oregon will win by only 20-25 points.

 

 

Tennessee                    at                 Miami (-6)

The 3-6 Titans get starting QB Jake Locker back this week, which should be a big boost. However, the 4-4 Dolphins have won 3 out their last 4 games and have lost 3 games by a total of 9 points, two of them in overtime. Miami feels like a team on the rise, while Tennessee seems like they are stuck in neutral. But with the exception of a 30-9 trouncing of the beleaguered NY Jets every Dolphin victory has been very close, so the 6 point spread looks rather large and I don’t have any faith that Miami can cover, so Tennessee gets the nod.

 

 

Detroit (-2.5)                at              Minnesota

I had these teams combining for just 11 wins in 2012 in my season preview. Instead they have 9 victories between them already, just past the halfway point of the season. That being said they are both afterthoughts in a division with the Packers & the Bears. I’m not saying the playoffs aren’t a possibility for either club, but it’s going to be a tough road. So this game is all about pride. Unfortunately for the Vikings their star wideout Percy Harvin is likely to be watching this game from the sideline due to an ankle injury, and that will likely cripple their offense. That makes the Lions an easy choice.

 

 

Atlanta (-2.5)                  at              New Orleans

In my pre-season predictions I said about the NFC South that “The surprise might be in Atlanta, where I’m just not sold on the Falcons. QB Matt Ryan will be a free agent after the 2013 season, and by then I think he’ll be ready to flee The Peach State.” and said they’d finish 7-9. I may have been slightly wrong since the Falcons are the NFL’s only remaining unbeaten team. On the flip side I said that “I do not believe that a team can go through the turmoil that the Saints have experienced this offseason and not be affected.”, but still said they’d go 9-7 & win the division. The complete accuracy of that statement is still undecided. New Orleans did in fact get off to a rough start, but it remains to be seen whether they can recover and get back in the playoff hunt. It seems pretty clear that the division crown is out of reach, but a victory here could shift momentum in a positive direction and start a push toward a wildcard berth. I don’t believe for one second that Atlanta will go undefeated, and it might actually help them to lose now instead of at the end of the season. The Saints are the pick.

 

 

 

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