Peyton Manning

Winning & Musing…Volume 2.21

Sadly football season is now over. Atleast we have Modified March Madness, the Daytona 500, & golf on the horizon, right?? The sports calendar may have its lulls, but they never last for long.

Congratulations to the new Hall of Fame inductees: WR Calvin Johnson (Detroit Lions), who could’ve played atleast five more seasons and might’ve been considered the greatest receiver ever if he’d been on a perennial championship contender. O-Lineman Alan Faneca (Pittsburgh Steelers). DB John Lynch (Tampa Bay Buccaneers). QB Peyton Manning (Indianapolis Colts & Denver Broncos), who I will always consider a superior quarterback to Tom Brady. DB Charles Woodson (Oakland Raiders & Green Bay Packers), whose combined success in college & the NFL is probably under appreciated. WR Drew Pearson (Dallas Cowboys), who should have been in the HoF thirty years ago. Pittsburgh Steelers scout Bill Nunn, who played a huge part in building the 1970s dynasty. Former Oakland Raiders head coach Tom Flores. Not making the cut: O-Lineman Tony Boselli, linebackers Zach Thomas, Clay Matthews, & Sam Mills, and receivers Torry Holt & Reggie Wayne.

A few friends posted on social media the day before the Super Bowl expressing total indifference about the Big Game. Actually I have several friends like that – absolutely no interest in sports whatsoever. To each their own, but honestly I’m very thankful to be a sports fan. Watching ball games, golf, & car races on TV has helped me thru some dark times at various points in my life. This past year I have observed several of my Facebook friends doing outdoor activities like fishing & hiking, and I’m a bit jealous. Such things are basically pandemic proof, which I’m sure has been a blessing for them. Unfortunately I’ve never been physically able to be outdoorsy, so I’ve relied heavily on simply being a sports fan.

Real Time Super Bowl Thoughts:

H.E.R.?? 👀 Stupid moniker, but she can sing, play guitar, & has a nice rack.
I’m not a country music fan, but I might have to check out this Eric Church guy. Nice job on the anthem, although two voices aren’t necessarily a good thing. The lady singing kind of overpowered him.
You mean that poet’s 15 minutes aren’t up yet?? ⌚️ Guess I can’t blame her for striking while the iron is hot.
The Door Dash commercial with The Muppets is cute.
“Jumping offside really does help you get to the QB sooner.” That’s some Booger McFarland level insight from Tony Romo 🤣.
Matthew McConaughey, Doritos, & Queen…an oddly compelling combination. Will Ferrell’s GM commercial is amusing. How can you have a group of Bud Light Legends without Spuds McKenzie or The Frogs?? Maybe that’s Budweiser?? I don’t know. On the rare occasion I drink beer I prefer good beer 🍺.
TB 7, KC 3 at the end of the 1st Q. More defense & smash mouth football than most expected, and I’m okay with that.
Mountain Dew Melon?? No thanks 🤢.
BIG 2nd Q goal line stand for the KC defense!!
The Jason Alexander Tide commercial is low key brilliant if you get the background music joke. TMobile, Gwen Stefani, & Blake Shelton…okay, I get it. Not bad 🤷🏻‍♂️.
21-6…Tampa leads at the half. The Chiefs are making too many mental errors.
A reasonably entertaining halftime show. I’m sure people far younger, allegedly way cooler, and more familiar with The Weekend than me will hype it as the best ever, but I’m nostalgic for the days of Prince, Michael Jackson, & Justin Timberlake.
The Uber Eats Wayne’s World spot just made me sad. Wayne & Garth are looking old 👀.
Gronk is a freakin’ beast. I can’t hate on him like I do Brady.
Dear Ashton Kutcher: Don’t. Ever. Sing. Again.
Tampa is up 31-9 at the end of Q3. If anyone but KC was the opponent I’d be changing the channel, but with Mahomes I feel like anything can happen.
“Only” 25k fans in a stadium that can seat over 65k. Will this event come to be known as a “super spreader”, or is that kind of thing over now that we have a new President?? 🏟
Blaine Gabbert now has more Super Bowl rings than Dan Marino, Dan Fouts, Jim Kelly, Warren Moon, & Fran Tarkenton…combined. Life isn’t fair.
I hope Jason Pierre-Paul doesn’t celebrate with fireworks 🎇.
As a proud alumnus of Marshall University I can put aside my disdain for TB12 long enough to be happy for Bucs’ offensive coordinator & former Herd QB Byron Leftwich.
31-9 Final. Tampa wins. The fallacy of The Patriots Dynasty has been exposed. Belichick really is that coach who went 36-44 with the Cleveland Browns. It was Brady all along. He now has more titles than any franchise in NFL history, let alone individual players. Bastard.
One thing the NFL does better than the other pro & even college leagues: the whole deal is over by 10:30pm. It’s Sunday night & people have to go to work in the morning, so the average fan doesn’t want to stay up until midnight.

2018 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 4

There’s no way to sugarcoat it…we both (2-6) did horrible last week. We are far enough into the football season now that I’ve begun to realize that many of my predictions & prognostications may have been a bit off base. I will need to reevaluate several of my preconceived notions, like not having much faith in a freshman quarterback or assuming certain personnel losses or changes may have a deleterious effect on a team. Perhaps a few of my assumptions will pan out in the long run, but this isn’t the start for which I’d hoped. At any rate, we move forward during a week when the schedule isn’t all that appealing. I do my best not to be repetitive with the teams we pick and try to spread the love, but there is no denying that the most interesting college games are ones pitting top ranked opponents against one another or that out of 32 NFL teams there are about a dozen that stand out as eminently more watchable. We are further limited by our own biases because it is difficult to be objective when it comes to certain teams so we do our best to avoid those games. Having said all that, we’ve done this for several years now and found a way to muddle thru, and so we shall continue.

My Season: 8-10

Z’s Season: 7-11

Florida (-5) at Tennessee

These days when people gush about the vaunted SEC it’s all about Alabama, Georgia, Auburn, LSU, and whichever Mississippi school happens to be having a good year, but not that long ago the Gators and the Vols were sitting atop the mountain. Florida won national championships under Steve Spurrier then Urban Meyer in the late 90’s & early 2K’s, but they’ve only won 10+ games three times in the past decade and haven’t won the conference title since 2008. Tennessee hasn’t laid claim to any championships of any kind since the late 90’s when a young man named Peyton Manning was under center in Knoxville, and they haven’t won ten games in a season since 2007. Both teams come into this weekend 2-1, but I’m not sure anything of value can be learned from those games. It is interesting that Florida is favored despite the game being played at the massive Neyland Stadium. I’m sure there will be over 100k in attendance treating this like a playoff game, and I think that may work in Tennessee’s favor. Zach isn’t sure what to think about this game, but he’s rolling the dice on the Gators.

My Pick: Tennessee

Z’s Pick: Florida

Stanford (-1.5) at Oregon

The Ducks snuck into my pre-season poll and I thought there might be a chance they’d get to eight victories and win a couple of games they aren’t supposed to win. So far so good, as they’re 3-0, although this will be their first real test. Stanford is also 3-0, including an impressive win over USC. Heisman hopeful Bryce Love will be toting the rock after missing last week’s game with an apparent concussion. It’s a total vibe game for me, and The Voices are quacking. Zach believes it’ll be a close game for three quarters but Stanford will eventually pull away.

My Pick: Oregon

Z’s Pick: Stanford

Cincinnati (-3) at Carolina

I predicted that the Bengals would win five games, finish in last place, and head coach Marvin Lewis would be fired. Right now they are 2-0 and atop the AFC North, so I may have been slightly wrong. Conversely, I had Carolina winning 12 games and easily capturing the NFC South. They are 1-1 so that prediction may work out eventually. Anyway, I’m not sure what kind of hurricane damage Charlotte suffered or if the storm’s aftermath will have an effect on attendance, but I do find it interesting that Cincy is favored. The injury bug seems to have bitten the Bengals, including RBs Joe Mixon and Giovanni Bernard. Even if both are good to go on Sunday that’s enough for me to lean in the other direction. Zach thinks the Bungles will screw things up if/when they make it to the playoffs, but he likes them in this game.

My Pick: Carolina

Z’s Pick: Cincinnati

LA Chargers at LA Rams (-7)

It’s the Battle of Los Angeles, featuring teams that were playing in San Diego & St. Louis just a couple of years ago. I suppose there is no real home field advantage. The Rams are 2-0 while the Chargers are 1-1, but that doesn’t really tell us much. I predicted both would win their division, although it looks like the road may be somewhat tougher for the Chargers. Here’s what I’m thinking: a high scoring game that goes down to the wire (maybe even OT) and is decided by a field goal. If that’s the case the pick has to be the Chargers. Zach thinks the Rams’ offense is just too overwhelming and will lead their team to an easy win.

My Pick: LA Chargers

Z’s Pick: LA Rams

Dallas at Seattle (-1.5)

Having this game on the docket says more about the lack of exciting games on the schedule than it does my interest in watching. As predicted the 0-2 Seahawks are a shell of their former selves and look to be headed for a dismal season. The Cowboys are 1-1 and I still maintain that they’ll end up with a losing record as well. The home field advantage has to be respected for Seattle, as CenturyLink Field is usually one of the loudest in the NFL. I’m going out on a limb and forecasting QB Russell Wilson to have a big game and lead his team to one of the few victories they’ll have all year. Zach is putting all the pressure on RB Zeke Elliot to lead the Cowboys to victory.

My Pick: Seattle

Z’s Pick: Dallas

The 2016 Sammy Awards – Part 1

After an unavoidable…interruption…a year ago we are back and thrilled to present the 2016 Sammy Awards, a Manoverse tradition since 2010. The Sammys are, in a nutshell, a fun & introspective year in review presented as the world’s best imaginary awards show. I like to think of The Sammys as an eclectic remix of real awards shows…classier than anything MTV offers, not as pretentious as The Oscars & Grammys, and more engaging than the plethora of offerings (The SAGs, The Tonys, The ESPYs, The People’s Choice Awards, etc.) that no one watches. The pace is brisk because a show longer than two hours drags and loses the interest of the viewer. There are no acceptance speeches because most of the categories have far too many nominees to have in the audience and many might not consider it an honor to be nominated anyway. I’d like to think that Netflix, Amazon, or Hulu would take a shot at streaming the show. Their people should call my people.

Let us begin by welcoming the host for our 2016 show. He’s an award winning comedian & talk show host, and since 2010 has breathed new life into legendary game show Family Feud. Please welcome Steve Harvey!!

Following a brief yet hilarious introduction to the show by our host it is time for the first award presentation. Please welcome a three time World Series winning pitcher, six time MLB All Star, former ESPN baseball analyst, & everyone’s favorite politically incorrect keyboard warrior…Curt Schilling!! And the nominees are:

Biggest Sports Story

Retirements Everywhere!!

One of the more poignant moments in sports is when a player, coach, or other associated personality decides to walk away after a long & memorable career, and in 2016 it seems like we said more than the usual fair share of goodbyes. I was never a big Kobe Bryant fan, but there is no denying that he had a significant impact on the modern NBA. After limping to the finish line the last couple of years on tired legs & surrounded by a very mediocre LA Lakers team, Kobe summoned some of his old magic one last time, scoring 60 points against the Utah Jazz in his final game. Peyton Manning rode into the sunset the way everyone would like to. After a legendary & record breaking 18 year career he led the Denver Broncos to a Super Bowl championship. Manning certainly wasn’t at his best in his final few seasons with the Broncos, but his place among the greatest quarterbacks of all time is secure. Vin Scully, Dick Enberg, & Verne Lundquist all plied their trade as announcers for many decades. Scully is best known as the voice of the LA Dodgers, but fortunately for us east coasters he also called many nationally televised games in both baseball & football. Enberg is best remembered as a play-by-play announcer for NBC, calling both NFL & MLB games. Lundquist isn’t completely retired, but will no longer be calling college football games. Thankfully we’ll still be able to hear him on golf broadcasts. Kevin Garnett & Tim Duncan both called it quits after the 2015-16 NBA season. Duncan won five championships in 19 seasons with the San Antonio Spurs. In 1995 Garnett became the first player in two decades drafted directly from high school to the NBA, a practice the league would outlaw in 2006. He played for three different teams and won one championship with the Boston Celtics in 2008. He had more individual than team success, winning a league MVP & being named to 15 All Star teams. David Ortiz is a mountain of a man that was the designated hitter & occasional first baseman for the Boston Red Sox for 13 years. He was a big part of the team that finally broke the infamous Curse of the Bambino and brought Boston their first World Series title in 86 years. Two more titles would follow. Big Papi had one of his best seasons in 2016, batting .315 and hitting 38 home runs. Unfortunately various leg & foot problems forced him into retirement. Though I haven’t watched NASCAR for a couple of years for reasons I’ll not rehash, Tony Stewart had become my favorite driver after the tragic demise of Dale Earnhardt. I always appreciated his forthright & decidedly un-PC manner. Smoke won three Cup titles & 49 races in over 600 starts in 18 years. I suppose he’ll still be around as a team owner, which is good for the sport.

Cleveland Wins NBA Title

I’m not the biggest NBA fan. I only pay attention when the playoffs roll around, have never had a favorite team, & haven’t cared all that much since Michael Jordan retired. However, the one thing that has drawn me in at all over the past several years is the closest thing we’ve had to Jordan…Lebron James. His departure from Cleveland to Miami and subsequent return has been well chronicled, and in 2016 all the hopes & dreams of every sports fan in Cleveland came to fruition as King James led his hometown Cavaliers to their first ever NBA title, the city’s first professional sports championship of any kind since 1964. It was an exciting rematch of the previous year’s championship series, with the Cavs coming back from a 3-1 series deficit to upend the defending champion Golden State Warriors in a thrilling Game 7.

Brady’s Court Battle

In 2016 golden boy QB Tom Brady finally lost his yearlong battle against DeflateGate and was forced to serve a four game suspension at the beginning of the NFL season. Of course he still may get the last laugh, as the New England Patriots finished with the best record in the league and enter the playoffs as a solid Super Bowl favorite.

Villanova Wins NCAA Title

The Villanova Wildcats won their first national championship since 1985, beating North Carolina on a buzzer beater in the title game. The Wildcats won 35 games and defeated four straight Top 10 opponents during March Madness.

Warriors Wins Record

The 2016 Golden State Warriors, led by point guard Stephen Curry & power forward Draymond Green, won 73 games during the regular season, breaking a record set by the Jordan/Pippen Bulls two decades earlier. They came into the season as the defending NBA champs and dominated the competition…until the finals, where they fell to Lebron James & his Cleveland Cavaliers.

Cubs Win World Series

The Chicago Cubs have been the loveable losers of baseball for as long as I can remember. As with the Red Sox, the Cubs had been battling their own “curse”, the Curse of the Billy Goat, on which multiple heartbreaking postseason failures had been blamed since their last World Series title in 1908. All of that changed in 2011, when Theo Epstein, the wunderkind general manager that had helped Boston turn things around a decade ago, took the same job in Chicago. In 2016 his rebuilding plan blossomed and the Cubs beat the Cleveland Indians in a really fun seven game World Series.

Johnny Football

The long sad odyssey of Johnny Manziel finally reached its inevitable conclusion in 2016 when the former Heisman Trophy winner but failed NFL quarterback was cut loose by the Cleveland Browns. Aside from the fact that Manziel is a marginal NFL talent at best, off the field issues with drugs, legal problems, & just a generally selfish, arrogant, poor attitude torpedoed any chance he had at success. When the Browns don’t even want you that’s a huge warning sign.

Penguins Win Stanley Cup

I pay even less attention to hockey than I do the NBA & NASCAR, but if my Pens are involved when the playoffs roll around I will generally check it out. 2016 brought Pittsburgh its fourth Stanley Cup since 1990. They defeated the San Jose Sharks in six games, with the awesome Sidney Crosby being named the series MVP.

And the Sammy goes to…..

The Chicago Cubs. It’s hard to beat a century old drought and an angst ridden fan base that has endured so many painful losses. I’m a Pirates fan, so I obviously cheer against the Cubs all season long, but I must admit this was a really cool story and I am glad for long suffering fans in The Windy City.

To present our next award, please welcome three all-time favorites who have one thing in common…they did guest spots on a certain television show back in the 60’s. First, he is best known as Captain Merrill Stubing on 80’s cheesefest The Love Boat. Please welcome Gavin MacLeod. Next, he has long been one of America’s crankiest yet most beloved comedians. He hung out with Sinatra back in the day, spent a good deal of time on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show couch, and now he is here with us at The Sammy Awards. Please welcome Don Rickles. And finally, he is an Academy Award winning actor best known for creepy roles in The Shining, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Batman, & A Few Good Men. It is an honor to welcome Jack Nicholson.

This is a special award with only one nominee & winner.

The Fred Berry Memorial Award for Excellence in Syndication

The Andy Griffith Show

Even the best television shows are generally cancelled after 6-10 seasons, air in syndication for a few years, & then slip away into the ether, replaced in the hearts & minds of viewers everywhere with the latest & greatest sitcom, soapy drama, or police procedural. Every once in awhile a program comes along that stays afloat in the sea of pop culture prominence for a bit longer, but eventually even those elite shows fade into just an occasionally recalled fond memory. The Andy Griffith Show is different. On any given day of the week I can do a little channel surfing and watch atleast a couple of TAGS episodes. Ponder that. This is a show that stopped airing original episodes nearly a half century ago, but its reruns are still broadcast in 2016 and beyond. Almost all of the cast has left this mortal coil, yet we still watch. I don’t think I’d be wrong in saying that TAGS has entertained multiple generations and continues to delight people of all ages even today. Local TV stations have no shortage of syndicated programs to choose from when they need to fill a time slot, but they know that TAGS has retained its popularity and will get good ratings. There are many reasons for this, most of which I have mentioned somewhere in this forum at one time or another. It is the distinct pleasure of The Manofesto to give The Andy Griffith Show one more well deserved victory lap, and hopefully we’ll all still be enjoying it for many years to come.

To present our next award we originally contacted singer & emancipated butterfly Mariah Carey, but she declined the invitation and has gone into hiding in an undisclosed location for some unknown reason. We next contacted MMA fighter Ronda Rousey, but when she was told that the presentation would likely take longer than 48 seconds she was forced to say no. Therefore, we turn to well-regarded and very funny blogger, author, & social media personality Susannah Lewis. And the nominees are:

Least Satisfying Movie

The Do-Over

So it has come to this for Adam Sandler. After being one of the biggest movie stars in the world in the 90’s with hits like The Wedding Singer, Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison, & The Waterboy, he has hit the skids in the past decade, with some of the worst films ever produced (Jack & Jill, That’s My Boy, something about a Zohan). Now his movies aren’t even in theaters…they are being directly streamed into our homes. I didn’t know this until after I saw The Do-Over, but awhile back Sandler signed a four movie contract with Netflix. The first one was released last December when I was in the hospital which explains why I hadn’t heard of it. As for this second project in the deal, it has Sandler & David Spade as two old high school pals who are unhappy with their lives so they fake their own deaths. It’s an interesting premise, and I’ve got to give all involved credit for one thing…they didn’t mail it in. The story has more twists & turns than an Appalachian highway, with an odd mix of comedy, action, intrigue, & pathos. It’s not boring…it’s just not very good.

Dirty Grandpa

Robert DeNiro needs to fire his agent, manager, & anyone else that assists him in choosing projects. Seeing him in excrement like this makes me sad. Even Zac Efron can do better and he’s a tool.

Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising

I had low expectations going in because the 2014 original wasn’t good, yet somehow this sequel is actually even more tasteless & unremarkable. I didn’t laugh once. Two hours of my life I can never get back.

The Bronze

Fans of The Big Bang Theory get quite a shock seeing their sweet little Bernadette in this flick. Melissa Rauch stars as a former Olympic medalist still living on her fading notoriety in the small Ohio town in which she grew up. The young “lady” is mean-spirited, foulmouthed, & treats her adoring mailman father like dirt. She doesn’t have a job and relies on her fans & friends to buy her things. Oh, and she also steals money from mail she rifles thru in her Dad’s truck. Are you laughing yet?? When Hope (that’s her name…seriously) gets an opportunity to coach an up & coming gymnast also from her hometown she at first attempts to sabotage the young girl, but eventually changes course and guides her to the gold medal. I’m sure there are people out there that find this movie hysterically funny, but I’m not sure I’d want to know those people.

Bad Santa 2

If you enjoyed the 2003 original I suppose you’ll like this follow-up, which has Billy Bob Thornton putting the ol’ red suit back on & reprising his role as a misanthropic, drunken, foul mouthed thief who likes to score big during the holiday season. He reunites with his diminutive partner in crime and they team up with Santa’s profane & terminally ill mother to rob a Chicago children’s charity. I’m no prude, but I do believe I have some class and this kind of humor just doesn’t frost my cupcake. I didn’t particularly care for the first film and had no expectations that the sequel would alter my perspective. I was right. If vulgarity & F-bombs tickle your funny bone then, by all means, enjoy…it’s a free country. I will continue to aim higher.

And the Sammy goes to…..

Dirty Grandpa. I don’t know why I continue to subject myself to DeNiro. The Godfather Part II is way way way in the rearview mirror. Even the Meet the Parents movies seem like a lifetime ago. In the past decade this alleged cinematic icon has made a string of forgettable and/or outright atrocious films. This might be the absolute worst of the bunch, and could compete for one of the vilest pieces of garbage to ever be on the big screen. Just retire Mr. DeNiro. Leave the memories alone.

This feels like an appropriate place to pause. Please stay tuned for Part 2!!

Winning & Musing: Post-Super Bowl 50 Thoughts

Greetings sports fans. Let me first apologize for an abrupt & unforeseen ending to our Pigskin Picks of Profundity. Your humble Potentate of Profundity had two surgeries in November and spent a couple of months in the hospital, so things here in The Manoverse were unfortunately but necessarily backburnered. But now I’m back and ready to talk some sports. Enjoy.

Congratulations to the Denver Broncos, winners of Super Bowl 50. I had my doubts going into the game, but was pleasantly surprised. It is nice to see Peyton Manning go out on top. Most athletes don’t get that opportunity. I realize that he hasn’t officially announced his retirement yet, but it’s only a matter of time. The Broncos have Brock Osweiler waiting in the wings and I can’t see any other team signing Manning, who is half the QB he used to be. There isn’t any upside to playing another year, especially when he has the opportunity to retire as a Super Bowl Champion.

Lady Gaga has got some pipes, a fact that I recognized long ago. When she drops the outrageous act and just sings it can be quite enjoyable, so I was cool with her singing the national anthem. However, I must point out that her stylist did her no favors. Was that look supposed to be some kind of tribute to David Bowie??

The old adage is that “defense wins championships”, and no game in recent memory proved that more than Super Bowl 50. Let’s be honest…Manning had very little to do with his team’s victory. Neither offense was impressive. It was the Broncos’ relentless pursuit of Carolina QB Cam Newton that secured the victory. It wasn’t the most exciting game to watch for sure, but kudos to Denver defensive coordinator Wade Phillips for conceiving a plan that worked to perfection. Phillips has been a mediocre head coach more than once and is the perfect example that sometimes knowing one’s role and understanding your limitations isn’t a bad thing.

Speaking of Newton…
Okay, I know that a Denver player was being interviewed (rather loudly) during Newton’s abbreviated post-game press conference and that player bragging about how they’d stymied the Panthers’ offense may have upset Newton. But that’s still not a good enough excuse to pout like a kindergartner whose Mommy didn’t buy the toy he wanted and then end the press conference after a couple of questions. Cam Newton has a track record of being an immature sore loser, and that behavior reared its ugly head again on football’s biggest stage. Dozens of star players & coaches have lost the Super Bowl and had to do interviews after the loss, but I can’t ever remember any of them acting so childishly. I know losing sucks, and I can’t imagine how much of a kick in the ‘nads it is to lose The Super Bowl. However, Cam Newton is going to have to learn to suck it up and be a man. My understanding is that he is a good-hearted & charitable guy who does a lot for his community, especially kids. That being said, it took about five minutes on Sunday for him to lose a lot of the respect people had for him, and he’s going to have to earn it back. I suspect that the Carolina Panthers are going to be a good football team for the next several years and may find themselves in this spotlight again eventually. If that happens I hope that Cam Newton…win or lose…will show us all a better version of himself.

A few random thoughts about Super Bowl 50’s commercials:
• Is it really a good idea for The Incredible Hulk to get all caffeined up on Coca-Cola??
• I’ll probably never drink a Mountain Dew Kickstart (whatever that is), but I’m totally on board with PuppyMonkeyBabies, which I find much less creepy than Super Bowl Babies.
• Peyton Manning’s random plug for Budweiser during his post-game interview was much more memorable than the commercials that they probably paid an arm & a leg for.
• Dachsunds (aka weiner dogs) selling Heinz ketchup?? Okay…I guess.
• I don’t care how hard they sell the notion…a Prius will never be cool. An Audi, on the other hand, is very cool.
• I still don’t understand what an Amazon Echo is.
• Jeff Goldblum singing the theme song from The Jeffersons is mildly amusing, even if I don’t recall which company the ad was for.
• I don’t know which is more entertaining…the fact that there was a Super Bowl commercial for Mexican avocadoes, the comforting thought that Scott Baio is alive and earning a paycheck, or that the producers of the spot were obviously fans of The Last Starfighter (or maybe the Mos Eisley Cantina in Star Wars).

Introducing all previous Super Bowl MVP’s was a nice touch. Kudos NFL.

I only half paid attention to the halftime show, so I wasn’t immediately offended by the alleged political message within Beyonce’s performance. I was more offended that the powers-that-be made Coldplay the stars of the show and then at some stage in the process realized that if one looks up the term mediocrity in the rock n’ roll dictionary there is a picture of Coldplay, alongside about a half dozen other random acts that look & sound the same. The producers were then forced to bring in Beyonce & Bruno Mars, two of the more popular halftime acts from recent Super Bowls. It smelled of pure desperation. On top of that the performance was average at best. I don’t really care about the political rhetoric because I doubt if 95% of the audience even understood the point.

2015 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 9

Happy Halloween citizens!! I realize that some may consider the holiday an evil tool of Satan, and I respect that viewpoint though I disagree. To me Halloween is just a fun night when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. Your mileage may vary and that’s okay. Anyway, last week was a good one (in my humble opinion), as I was a robust 6-1, bringing my season record to 30-14…a 68% winning percentage. Hey ESPN…call me!! Meanwhile, Zach was 2-5 last week and his overall record stands at 18-26. The college football season is…believe it or not…past the halfway point, with the national playoff picture and the various conference title races coming into focus. The NFL season is getting interesting too, with the playoff contenders beginning to separate themselves just a bit from the pretenders. So let’s look into the ol’ crystal ball and make some picks.

Ole Miss (-7.5) at Auburn
Somewhere…I think it may have been in my pre-season rankings…I opined that I didn’t think the two Mississippi schools would be really good like they were last year. I was wrong, as both teams are 6-2 and have an outside shot at winning their SEC division. The Rebels are coming off a big win over Texas A&M and need to win out to win the division. Meanwhile, it has been an up & down year for 4-3 Auburn, who lost an OT heartbreaker last week to Arkansas. The thing about an inconsistent team is that one never knows when they might lay an egg…or unexpectedly dominate. I’m going to give the Tigers the home field benefit of the doubt here and predict that this one will be decided by a field goal one way or another. On the flip side, Zach likes Ole Miss to win by 3 TDs.

My Pick: Auburn
Z’s Pick: Ole Miss

Florida (-2.5) vs Georgia
They call this The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party…or atleast they used to. I believe there was a movement a few years ago to change that, and the TV folks seem to minimize their usage of the moniker. I suppose some politically correct morons think it glorifies drinking or paints southerners as a bunch of boozehounds. Those people are what I like to call stupid. College football is all about tradition and that shouldn’t be tampered with. At any rate, the Gators are a surprising 6-1 and aren’t out of the national playoff conversation. The Bulldogs are 5-2 and not in the playoff hunt, but could still make it to the SEC title game. As a matter of fact, this game will likely decide the SEC East and determine who will eventually lose to LSU or Alabama in that conference championship battle. Technically this is a neutral site game in Jacksonville, but since it’s much closer to Gainesville than Athens, GA the Gators should have the crowd on their side. Florida lost their starting QB to suspension and they are coming off of a bye week after losing to LSU a couple of weeks ago, so the Bulldogs are probably the smart choice. However, when it comes to these picks I tend to listen to The Vibes more than my brain. Zach’s gut is telling him something different. We’ll see which mysterious sense is more accurate.

My Pick: Florida
Z’s Pick: Georgia

Notre Dame (-10) at Temple
Temple is ranked in the Top 25?? Really?? What the heck is going on?? Anyway, I give credit where credit is due, but the undefeated Owls haven’t really played anyone good since the season opener against Penn St. Meanwhile, the Fighting Irish are 6-1 and still have an opportunity to sneak into the playoff if the dominoes fall their way. They certainly aren’t going to let a glorified 1-AA team like Temple ruin that chance. The points are a bit much for my comfort, but I think the favorites will cover. Conversely, Zach believes the game will be closer than 10 points.

My Pick: Notre Dame
Z’s Pick: Temple

Seattle (-6) at Dallas
In my NFL Preview I said that the Seahawks might be even better this year than last. That definitely has not been the case thus far. They are 3-4 and in 3rd place in their division. They just can’t seem to finish games in the 4th quarter. Meanwhile, the Cowboys are 2-4 and have been beaten in four straight games. Losing QB Tony Romo and WR Dez Bryant has really derailed their season. I think Seattle is more likely to turn things around than Dallas, so that’s the direction I’ll go. Zach concurs.

My Pick: Seattle
Z’s Pick: Seattle

Green Bay (-3) at Denver
This is a rematch of Super Bowl XXXII (that’s 32 for those of you saddled with learning math in states that use Common Core), but since that was nearly two decades ago it’s kind of a useless factoid. I suppose it could be a preview of the next Super Bowl, but I won’t hold my breath. Rumors of Peyton Manning’s demise were…again…premature. Though he is undeniably not the quarterback he used to be even just 2 or 3 years ago Manning has somehow found a way to evolve utilizing his football IQ and making abundant use of the solid talent surrounding him. Conversely, Packers’ signal caller Aaron Rodgers is in his prime and is probably the best player in the game right now. Both teams are undefeated and hold first place in their divisions. Denver isn’t getting any home field love from the oddsmakers, but that’s understandable. I’m really torn because I like both teams, but The Vibes are telling me that somehow old timer Manning will find a way to pull off the upset. Zach thinks Manning is in for a long day and will be sacked atleast five times. He’s going with Green Bay in a blowout.

My Pick: Denver
Z’s Pick: Green Bay

2015 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 2

And we’re back. It’s another exciting week in Gridironville, as the NFL starts its season. That means I’ll be spending most of my Sunday afternoons parked in front of the TV watching RedZone, undeniably one of the greatest inventions of the 21st century. In the inaugural week of the season your humble Potentate of Profundity went 4-1, while Zach stumbled out of the gate with a 1-4 mark. I can’t believe Auburn didn’t cover!! But it’s a long season, and things just get more fun from here on out. Enjoy.

Oklahoma at Tennessee (-1)
Last week the Sooners had no problem blowing out Akron, and the Vols didn’t have too much trouble dealing with Bowling Green, but both teams must now step up their game. I’m a little concerned that Tennessee’s defense allowed Bowling Green to score 30 points, and to be honest I thought a lot of the talking heads overrated them coming into the season. I think head coach Butch Jones, now in his third season in Rocky Top, will get them back to respectability eventually…but not this year. I ranked Oklahoma 13th in my pre-season poll, and now is when they have to step up and prove they are worthy. Zach isn’t buying the Tennessee hype either.

My Pick = Oklahoma
Z’s Pick = Oklahoma

Boise St. (-3) at BYU
The Broncos narrowly defeated former head coach Chris Petersen’s Washington Huskies in their initial outing of 2015, while the Cougars upset Nebraska with a Hail Mary that actually worked. However, BYU lost their starting QB in that game as well. It is really interesting that Boise is favored as a visiting team. That is rare in such a fairly even matchup. It may not be the smart call, but The Vibes are telling me that the BYU train will keep rolling for atleast another week. Zach was unimpressed by Boise St. but thinks BYU’s luck will run out pretty quick.

My Pick = BYU
Z’s Pick = Boise St.

Oregon at Michigan St. (-3.5)
This is obviously the marquee game of the NCAA schedule this week. It’s the Saturday Night Special on ABC. The Ducks put up 61 points (but gave up 42) in defeating 1-AA Eastern Washington last weekend, while the Spartans probably eased off the gas when defeating in-state opponent Western Michigan. Michigan St. has the home field, which in a game like this can be huge. I said in my pre-season preview that I thought Oregon would fall back just a bit in 2015 and not be a playoff contender. Now it’s time for that to be proven on the field. Zach thinks this will be a great game but believes that the Spartan defense will be the difference maker.

My Pick = Michigan St.
Z’s Pick = Michigan St.

New Orleans at Arizona (-2.5)
In my NFL preview I predicted that the Saints would be surprisingly mediocre…again. I’m just not impressed with any of their running backs, and trading away TE Jimmie Graham was huge. Conversely, the Cardinals are looking for another double digit win season and hope to make an impact in the playoffs as long as QB Carson Palmer stays healthy. I see no reason to go against the grain (or my own predictions) this week. Once again Zach thinks defense is the key to victory and is picking the Cards to stop Drew Brees.

My Pick = Arizona
Z’s Pick = Arizona

Baltimore at Denver (-4.5)
I predicted that the Ravens would take a step back and miss the playoffs in 2015. The talking heads seem to mostly disagree with my assessment. I also said that Peyton Manning’s decline would become more apparent this regular season but then had the Broncos winning the Super Bowl from a wildcard spot. To be honest that’s probably just wishful thinking. I’m a sucker for happy endings and seeing sports legends go out on top. As far as this game goes, Denver has the home field and I think they will indeed defend their house. As a Steelers fan Zach obviously despises the Ravens, and he’s predicting Manning will throw 5 TDs against the Baltimore defense. That’d be fine with me.

My Pick = Denver
Z’s Pick = Denver

2015 NFL Preview & Prognostications

There is a delete feature when creating a blog post that I rarely use. Oh sure I revise & edit, but once I’ve posted something I usually don’t back out. This is an exception.

*
I have been deeply troubled in the past week ever since my Pittsburgh Steelers signed convicted felon and erstwhile dog killer Michael Vick as a backup quarterback. No, check that…I was ANGRY. I’ve always said that Vick “paid his debt to society” and “deserves a second chance”, but those were easy platitudes to spew as long as he wasn’t playing for MY team, a franchise that is usually associated with class & accountability. So I signed petitions, deleted Steeler fan pages from my Facebook feed, took down a Steelers helmet “fathead” that had been on my refrigerator for a decade, decided that I wouldn’t play any Steelers players on my multiple fantasy teams, promised myself that I wasn’t going to watch any Steeler games this year, & eradicated them from this season preview.

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My resolve lasted only a few days, although there is a good reason for that.

*
The younger brother of one of my closest friends died unexpectedly. I called my friend and did my best to provide comfort, but what can one really say in such a situation?? It is terribly sad. Not long ago another friend (and mutual friend of the aforementioned friend) died in a tragic motorcycle accident. Even before that I had occasionally pondered mortality & legacy, but recent events have served to intensify the thought process. I am undecided as to whether that is positive or completely unhealthy.

*
At any rate, I began to contemplate Colossians 3:8, which advises that we are to “put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.” I am far too jaded and easy to anger. I know that about myself. I know that it is one of the weaknesses that prevents me from being the kind of example & witness of Christ that I’d prefer. There are certainly bigger issues in life than football, but this is a tremendous opportunity for growth. I have received much pleasure from Steelers football in my life. Should I let one player deprive me of that happiness?? Tomorrow is not guaranteed, so we all should live each day to the fullest…”suck out all the marrow of life”.

*
For me a big part of life is the Pittsburgh Steelers. I’m still not a Michael Vick supporter. I don’t like the signing and probably won’t change my mind. However, as long as God blesses me with another day of life I shall do my best to not take it for granted. I must do that to honor God and out of respect for those who didn’t get an opportunity for another tomorrow. So the fathead is back on the fridge, and I’ll watch the games rooting on the Black & Gold. And more germane to the present discourse, Pittsburgh is included in this revised preview. Enjoy.\

AFC

East
New England Patriots
(12-4) 10-6
Miami Dolphins
(8-8) 9-7
Buffalo Bills
(9-7) 7-9
New York Jets
(4-12) 2-14

At this moment Tom Brady’s four game suspension stemming from DeflateGate stands. That could change. I think it may ultimately be reduced to two games, but even that could get delayed by a judge. Armed with the information I have I will forecast the Patriots to win the division, but the competition might be interesting. Rex Ryan is now in charge in Buffalo and has engineered some intriguing moves, like trading for RB LeSean McCoy. The problem is the Bills still have Matt Cassel, Tyrod Taylor, & EJ Manuel battling to be the starting QB, which is kind of like going to a car lot and choosing between a Mercury Topaz & a Yugo. The Dolphins are set behind center and also added free agent defensive lineman Ndamakong Suh in the offseason. Miami could be in the wildcard hunt. The Jets are a bigger mess than ever, but after the 2016 NFL Draft should be able to make Geno Smith what he’s always been destined to be…a backup quarterback.

West
San Diego Chargers
(9-7) 10-6
Kansas City Chiefs
(9-7) 10-6
Denver Broncos
(12-4) 10-6
Oakland Raiders
(3-13) 5-11

Surprise!! I do not have the Broncos winning the division. Peyton Manning finally showed signs of aging last season, and I believe his decline will continue in 2015. The Chiefs finally have some wide receivers, an improvement that I think will have them contending for a playoff spot. The Raiders are…well, the Raiders. They are a sad shadow of the mighty Dark Empire built by the late Al Davis. I keep looking for signs of a breakthrough but they just aren’t there, unless one chooses to be psyched about new head coach Jack Del Rio, which is a stretch. I like QB Derek Carr, but he doesn’t have alot to work with quite yet. We’ll see how rookie WR Amari Cooper does out of the gate. All of that means that the Chargers will finally get over the hump and win the division for the first time since 2009, although I don’t expect it to be easy.

South
Indianapolis Colts
(11-5) 14-2
Jacksonville Jaguars
(3-13) 8-8
Tennessee Titans
(2-14) 6-10
Houston Texans
(9-7) 5-11

Count me amongst those who felt like the Titans should have traded down in the draft and stuck with Zach Mettenberger at QB. It’s not that I don’t like Marcus Mariota, who I think will blossom down the road after some initial growing pains, but Mettenberger didn’t really get a fair shot in Tennessee and could very well become a solid signal caller somewhere else in a year or two. Of course I have always felt the same about Ryan Mallett, who I assumed was just in a bad spot behind Tom Brady in New England, but he couldn’t even beat out Brian freakin’ Hoyer for the Texans’ starting gig, so my instincts may need some fine tuning. There’s no question that the Colts are winning the division, but the real surprise could be the Jags, who I believe will be much improved as Blake Bortles gets settled in behind center and RB TJ Yeldon out of Alabama leads a power rushing attack that’ll wear defenses down. Jacksonville isn’t a playoff team yet, but they’ll win a few games they aren’t supposed to.

North
Pittsburgh Steelers
(11-5) 10-6
Cincinnati Bengals
(10-5-1) 10-6
Baltimore Ravens
(10-6) 9-7
Cleveland Browns
(7-9) 3-13

Is this the year Johnny Football inexplicably gets an opportunity to be an NFL starting quarterback?? At some point…yes. What do the Browns have to lose?? The more interesting question is what they’ll do with a top 5 pick in next spring’s NFL Draft. Do they choose from what I hear will be a deep class of QBs, or do they stick with Manziel?? Stay tuned. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but I believe we’ll see the Ravens take a step back this season. It’s just a vibe. I think it’ll come down to the Bengals & the Steelers for the division title. There is understandable apprehension in Pittsburgh about the defense due to the retirements of Troy Polamalu, Ike Taylor, & Brett Kiesel and the departure of defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau. These changes were necessary but there will be a period of adjustment. The Bengals are probably the favorites in places like Vegas & Atlantic City, but I’m not sure they have the total package.

Playoff Teams – Indianapolis, New England, Pittsburgh, San Diego, Kansas City, Denver
AFC Championship – Indianapolis vs. Denver

NFC

North
Green Bay Packers
(12-4) 11-5
Minnesota Vikings
(7-9) 9-7
Detroit Lions
(11-5) 8-8
Chicago Bears
(5-11) 3-13

I have to be honest…I really pondered changing my original forecast for the Packers after a season ending knee injury to WR Jordy Nelson. However upon further reflection I still believe they will win the division easily. The more interesting competition will be for second place and a possible wildcard berth. Losing Ndamakong Suh could very well have a more negative impact on the Lions’ defense than anyone could imagine, and that’ll open the door for the Vikings to emerge as a playoff contender. I really like QB Teddy Bridgewater, and he definitely has some talented offensive weapons, including returning RB Adrian Peterson. I will skip the obvious quip about using “weapons” and “Adrian Peterson” in the same sentence. Chicago is still a joke and will continue to be as long as Jay Cutler is their quarterback. I like head coach John Fox and have no doubt the defense will be fine, but with Cutler under center the Bears will continue to tread water.

South
Atlanta Falcons
(6-10) 9-7
Carolina Panthers
(7-8-1) 8-8
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
(2-14) 8-8
New Orleans Saints
(7-9) 8-8

I just hope that whoever tops this division in 2015 does so with a winning record. Might this be the year that Cam Newton fulfills his destiny and becomes a championship quarterback?? The loss of top wideout Kelvin Benjamin to a season ending knee injury doesn’t help that cause. Will new head coach Dan Quinn create magic for Atlanta’s defense like he did with the Seattle Seahawks?? Maybe. Can rookie QB Jameis Winston stay out of trouble long enough to help improve Tampa’s fortunes?? The biggest shock here may be the continued mediocrity of the New Orleans Saints. QB Drew Brees is still a gunslinger, but he lost a BIG target in the offseason when tight end Jimmie Graham was traded to Seattle. None of New Orleans’ skill players outside of Brees seem particularly intimidating on paper, and that’s a problem. This will be a competitive yet unexceptional division…again.

East
Dallas Cowboys
(12-4) 12-4
New York Giants
(6-10) 8-8
Philadelphia Eagles
(10-6) 8-8
Washington Redskins
(4-12) 2-14

This is going to sting, but I have to be honest. I see no reason to expect anything less from the Cowboys than what they achieved last season. The competition just isn’t up to par. The unpredictable Giants should show improvement as long as they can keep everyone healthy (excluding DE Jason Pierre “Fingers” Paul of course), but they aren’t legit contenders. No one knows quite what the heck head coach Chip Kelly is doing. He’s either a mad genius or in completely over his head. We’ll know more in a couple of months. And what can I say about the Redskins?? RGIII is NOT the answer at quarterback, but neither is Jay Gruden an impressive head coach. I think they’re just going to have to scrap everything and start from scratch in Washington DC. That includes the football team.

West
Seattle Seahawks
(12-4) 12-4
Arizona Cardinals
(11-5) 10-6
St. Louis Rams
(6-10) 8-8
San Francisco 49ers
(8-8) 2-14

It is completely possible that the Seahawks have gotten even better since inexplicably throwing away (literally) The Super Bowl seven months ago. There seems to be some consternation about how new TE Jimmie Graham will fit into their offensive scheme, but if that’s the biggest problem to solve they’ll continue to be the envy of the league. The Rams should be slightly better and the Cardinals are probably a solid playoff team if oft injured signal caller Carson Palmer can make it thru the season, but neither are a serious threat to Seattle. The 49ers are a trainwreck that seemingly lost half their team in the offseason, including former head coach Jim Harbaugh. I hope the new guy is renting because he’s probably just a transitional fix until the powers-that-be can get this sinking ship afloat again and attract a legitimate head coach.

Playoff Teams – Seattle, Dallas, Green Bay, Atlanta, Arizona, Minnesota
NFC Championship – Seattle vs. Dallas

Seattle Seahawks 24

Denver Broncos 27

Top 5 Picks in 2016 NFL Draft
1 NY Jets
2 San Francisco 49ers
3 Washington Redskins
4 Chicago Bears
5 Cleveland Browns

2014 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 7

Last weekend was a bloodbath. There’s no other way to soft sell it. One of the keys to success in the prognostication arts is being able to predict big upsets and last week college football had more than its fair share…very few of which I saw coming. As a fan it was lots of fun to watch, but for the purpose of these picks it was viciously humbling. I ended up going 3-4. Both Zach & I picked Arizona & Virginia Tech correctly, and I was happy to see Nebraska stage a late comeback to atleast cover the points even though they didn’t win. Zach was 4-3 and picked both Mississippi St. and Notre Dame correctly. We both completely whiffed by picking LSU & Alabama. You know it’s a wacky year when both of those teams lose in the same day. So the season records look like this:

Me = 15-18
Zach = 16-16

There are several big college games again this week but I prefer to have a little variety and not pick games involving the same teams week after week. With the NFL this is somewhat unavoidable because there are only 32 teams, but the NCAA has a much bigger selection from which to choose and so we shall.

TCU at Baylor (-8.5)
The Horned Frogs are 4-0 and coming off a surprising upset of Oklahoma. Baylor is now a legitimate part of the national playoff conversation but they need to keep winning. I am sure TCU will put forth their best effort, but don’t believe they are an authentic Top 10 team. This game is in Waco and the home team should roll to a solid double digit victory. Zach likes the Bears’ high powered offense and expects that it’ll be hard for TCU to get revved up for another big upset so soon.

My Pick = Baylor
Z’s Pick = Baylor

–

Louisville at Clemson (-10.5)
The Cardinals have represented themselves rather well in their inaugural season in the ACC. They are 5-1 and currently in 2nd place in their division. I must admit I did not think they’d be that successful this season, especially after losing QB Teddy Bridgewater to the NFL. Conversely Clemson is 3-2 and hasn’t done well against stiff competition. They lost a lot of talent to the NFL and it has shown. I don’t think Louisville will win this game, but I do think they’ll play good enough to cover the points. Zach disagrees and thinks Clemson will win in a blowout.

My Pick = Louisville
Z’s Pick = Clemson

Denver (-8) at NY Jets
8 point spreads in the NFL are almost like 20 points in the collegiate ranks. Theoretically these guys are all professional athletes and no team should get shellacked by 2 or 3 touchdowns. However we all know that it does happen. This spread is especially insulting to the Jets since they are the home team. However, I do agree that the Broncos are a team on a mission…Super Bowl or bust…and that New York is a hot mess without a good starting QB and with a head coach who has to feel the noose tightening. I’d be surprised if the game isn’t essentially over at halftime and Peyton Manning isn’t chillin’ on the sidelines by the 4th quarter. Zach concurs.

My Pick = Denver
Z’s Pick = Denver

–

Dallas at Seattle (-8)
I know everyone is jumping on the Dallas bandwagon, but I’m not buying it. They are 4-1 but three of their wins are over teams with a combined record of 4-10. Simmer down Cowboys fans…no need to be more obnoxious than usual just yet. Philadelphia is still going to win the division. Meanwhile the defending champs are 3-1 and I think their early season loss to the San Diego Chargers will actually prove beneficial. It’s really easy for champions to become complacent but the Seahawks got a wake-up call and now seem to be back on track. I think this will be an easy win for Seattle. Zach isn’t a Cowboys fan but does believe that there is good reason for folks to have high expectations. He thinks Dallas is a solid playoff team and will atleast cover the points in this one.

My Pick = Seattle
Z’s Pick = Dallas

NY Giants at Philadelphia (-2.5)
The Giants are another team that everyone suddenly has renewed faith in, although it’s a bit more understandable in their case. They have a history of bouncing between being a playoff contender and a bottom dweller as effortlessly as Marty McFly travels thru time. On the flip side the Eagles are 4-1 but haven’t been quite as dominating as some (including me) expected. RB LeSean McCoy is only averaging 55 yds/game. To call that underwhelming would be like calling President Obama somewhat of a disappointment. Philly’s defense isn’t that good either, ranking 24th in the league against the run and 29th in passing defense. This is the Sunday night game and I think it’ll be a high scoring back & forth kind of contest with the home team getting the victory late in the 4th quarter. Zach agrees that it’ll be close but believes it will be the Giants that score late to seal the victory.

My Pick = Philadelphia
Z’s Pick = NY Giants

2014 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 4

I am so mad at myself. Sometimes something is so obviously staring one right in the face that we too easily look past it. Such was the case last week. There was a fantastic opportunity for me to go 5-0, which I think would have been the very first time in three years that has happened. I am far too lazy to research the archives in order to verify that fact. At any rate, instead I ended up going 3-2. Why?? Well, first of all, the Green Bay Packers only beat the NY Jets by 7 points. The spread was 8. That one wasn’t so much my fault as it was a Packers team who basically phoned it in and may have actually lost were it not for the inexplicable ineptitude of the Jets coaching staff. Then there was the major upset…the San Diego Chargers defeating the Seattle Seahawks. I should have seen it coming. There was no way the Seahawks were going to go undefeated. That just doesn’t happen. I am the guy who said in my NFL Preview that “Super Bowl Champions oftentimes slip a little the following season” while predicting a rather pedestrian 10-6 record for Seattle. At the same time I called the Chargers “sneaky good” and also predicted a 10-6 record as well as a playoff berth. The Seahawks had dismantled Green Bay in the opening game of the season while San Diego lost a heartbreaker to the Arizona Cardinals. Seattle-San Diego was a home game for the Chargers & a classic trap game for the Seahawks, and they fell into the trap. I should have seen it coming but I didn’t. The good news for me is that while I went 3-2 Zach went 1-4, which means our season thus far looks like this:

Me = 7-9
Zach = 7-8

********************

Iowa at Pitt (-6.5)
I ranked Iowa 14th in my pre-season Top 25, but after a last second loss to in-state rival Iowa St. they have some work to do if they’re going to fulfill that prophecy. Meanwhile, the hated Pitt Panthers have gotten off to a solid 3-0 start, including a victory at Boston College. Heinz Field isn’t much of a home advantage for the Panthers since there are usually only a few dozen people there on Saturdays, including vendors and homeless people hoping to score some scraps from discarded Primanti Brothers wrappers. Most folks in The ‘Burgh wait to spend their hard earned money on Sunday at the Steelers game. Pitt seems like they may be the real deal, but who knows?? I think this will be a close game and it is undoubtedly pivotal to both teams’ seasons. I’m going to support my own pre-season prediction by going with the Hawkeyes. Using the logic that Boston College beat USC and Pitt beat Boston College so therefore Pitt must be a legitimately good team (which actually does make sense) Zach is picking the Panthers to pound the ball with their rushing attack and win easily.

My Pick = Iowa
Z’s Pick = Pitt

–

Florida at Alabama (-14.5)
Where is the love for ‘Bama?? Are we just so use to them being a top team that we don’t even feel the need to discuss them anymore?? Is there a bit of Tide fatigue amongst the masses?? The answer is probably yes on both counts. However, this game should receive a fair amount of attention. Florida isn’t back to its Spurrier/Urban Meyer heyday just yet, but they are 2-0. Yes it took them 3 overtimes to beat Kentucky last week. I think they may have been looking ahead just a bit. Anyway, if this game were at The Swamp it’d be really intriguing, but alas it is in Tuscaloosa. Therefore I believe there is probably not much of a doubt that Alabama will win. The question is by how much?? I am probably going to regret this, but I guess maybe I am one of the doubters. I think the Tide rolls, but by less than 14 ½ points. Zach has a man crush on Nick Saban but agrees with my assessment that this will be a close game.

My Pick = Florida
Z’s Pick = Florida

–

Clemson at Florida St. (-20)
There are no shortage of folks who already have had the #1 ranked Seminoles on upset alert. They were less than impressive in a season opening victory over Oklahoma St., a game in which the Cowboys narrowed their deficit to within a touchdown with 2 minutes remaining but ran out of time to make anything else happen. Add in the fact that Florida St.’s quarterback, Heisman Trophy winner, upstanding citizen, scholar, gentleman, & all around class act Jameis Winston is suspended for the first half of this game because he is a moron. Meanwhile, the Tigers are 1-1 after a season opening loss to Georgia followed by dismantling an overmatched junior high team last week. I honestly don’t know how Clemson is still in anyone’s Top 25. They certainly haven’t earned such accolades. However, that could change with this game. Heck, if the game were being played at Memorial Stadium in South Carolina I might actually give them a puncher’s chance to win. However, it is in Tallahassee. The point spread does concern me just a bit. Florida St. has put up only 37 points in each of its first two contests. I think Clemson will be overmatched but motivated, while I am not sure the apprehension of the doubters has reached enough of a crescendo for Florida St. to pay much attention…yet. Zach not only agrees but is boldly predicting an outright Clemson victory. That boy has a set of brass ones. He gets it from his mother’s side of the family.

My Pick = Clemson
Z’s Pick = Clemson

–

Denver at Seattle (-5)
For anyone who may have been hiding out in one of those bomb shelters from the 60’s recently, this is a rematch of last season’s Super Bowl. In that game the Seahawks’ defense made living legend Peyton Manning look like…well…Eli Manning and cruised to a 43-8 victory that was even more underwhelming than Bruno Mars’ halftime show. But the beauty of the NFL is that every season is new and teams can change…both for the good and the not so good…at the drop of a hat. The Broncos made notable improvements to their defense, while Seattle lost a few pieces, although I don’t think it’s had a significant impact so far. Adding intrigue to this game is the fact that the defending champions, as previously mentioned, were upset last week. Could they really lose two games in a row?? Is Denver as good as their 2-0 record indicates?? The revenge factor for the Broncos cannot be overlooked, but neither can the anger of the Seahawks after a tough loss. This is a hard game to figure out, but I’m going to roll the dice on Manning and go with the underdogs. Zach concurs.

My Pick = Denver
Z’s Pick = Denver

–

Chicago at NY Jets (-2.5)
The Bears spoiled the opening of their brand new stadium for the San Francisco 49ers last Sunday night and looked pretty good in doing it, especially in the 4th quarter. But let us not forget that they lost their season opener at home in three OTs to the Buffalo Bills. The Jets are 1-1 as well. So basically no one really knows what to expect in this game. New York gets the nominal home field advantage but I’m not sure that means much. This is the story of two quarterbacks. The Bears’ Jay Cutler is, in my opinion, overrated. The Jets’ Geno Smith…a former WV Mountaineer…has potential and occasionally shows flashes but has been disappointing to some. I look for this to be a defensive battle defined by turnovers and lots of smashmouth football. Which QB will make the least mistakes?? Which one will make a blunder at the worst possible time?? Whose running game will dominate?? This is the Monday night game so I suppose I’ll stay up past my bedtime to find out. In a flip of the proverbial coin I’m going with the Jets. Zach disagrees and is picking the Bears.

My Pick = NY Jets
Z’s Picks = Chicago

2014 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 2

I’m not going to sugarcoat it…last weekend was a brutal start to the season for me. I went 2-4. South Carolina completely let me down. Ohio St. covered the spread (barely) while Florida St. did not. Boise St. got hammered. It wasn’t pretty. Zach fared a little better, going 3-2. Clemson & Navy let him down. This week the NFL season begins so we have a mix of some good games on both levels. Here’s hoping for a better weekend for all of us.

Michigan St. at Oregon (-13.5)
The Ducks are a legit Top 5 team and took care of business in week 1, hammering South Dakota 62-13. Meanwhile the Spartans had no problems in a 45-7 victory over Jacksonville St. Now that the Little Sisters of the Poor have gotten their big payday and went home we can get down to serious football. Michigan St. is a solid Top 10 team but they must travel to Eugene for this contest. I think it’ll be competitive for the first three quarters but Oregon will eventually pull away and cover the spread, winning by 2 or 3 touchdowns. Their speed is just too much to handle. Zach concurs.

My Pick: Oregon
Z’s Pick: Oregon

Michigan at Notre Dame (-5)
The Wolverines began what feels like a make or break season for head coach Brady Hoke with an easy 52-14 defeat of Appalachian St. The Irish had an equally impressive 48-17 victory over Rice. 4 of the past 5 games between these two have been decided by 7 points or less so the spread seems right on. Football games between these elite programs go back to the late 19th century but will end..for now…after this game. It isn’t the first time the rivalry has gone on hiatus and I am sure it will return at some point, especially if Notre Dame is ever compelled to do the right thing and join the Big Ten (which has 14 teams). For now though let us savor this one last bit of gridiron goodness. I’m going to go against the grain and predict an upset. Not surprisingly Zach…a noted Michigan fan…agrees wholeheartedly.

My Pick: Michigan
Z’s Pick: Michigan

Green Bay at Seattle (-5.5)
There’s probably no better way to kick off the NFL season than with a matchup of 2 of the last 4 Super Bowl Champions. This is expected to be hard hitting defense vs. prolific offense. The problem with that scenario is that the powers-that-be…under the guise of “safety”…have continued to neuter defenses and appease the masses’ desire for video game offense and fruitful fantasy numbers. That gives the Packers the edge in my opinion. Once again Zach agrees.

My Pick: Green Bay
Z’s Pick: Green Bay

Carolina at Tampa Bay (-1)
The Bucs have been receiving a lot of love this offseason and get the nominal home field advantage. The Panthers lost their entire receiving corps in the offseason but I expect big things from rookie WR Kelvin Benjamin. Both teams will likely rely heavily on their running game. I like both defenses. Carolina’s fate rests almost entirely on the arm & legs of QB Cam Newton. This will be his 4th year in the NFL and it is time to find out whether he can fulfill his potential by carrying a solid yet unspectacular team to the next level. I think he can and we’ll begin to see that in this game. Zach isn’t buying the Tampa hype at all and thinks Newton will lead the Panthers to a blowout.

My Pick: Carolina

Z’s Pick: Carolina

Indianapolis at Denver (-7.5)
We know about the quarterbacks in this game. They’re both really good. One is a living legend and the other is the next big thing. But what else do we need to look for in this game?? Well, for one thing Denver’s defense, which looked old & slow in the Super Bowl, has been completely revamped. DE Demarcus Ware and DBs Aqib Talib & TJ Ward are all upgrades over those whom they replaced. The Broncos also picked DB Bradley Robey in the first round of the draft. Offensive tackle Ryan Clady returns to the Denver line after missing most of 2013 with a foot injury. Indianapolis is looking to answer questions on offense. Can Browns reject Trent Richardson, a former 3rd overall pick in the 2012 draft, become the franchise RB everyone expected him to be?? Can receivers TY Hilton, Hakeem Nicks, & rookie Donte Moncrief become reliable targets for Andrew Luck as 35 year old Reggie Wayne enters his 14th and maybe final year in the NFL?? What about the Colts’ offensive line that gave up 42 sacks last season?? My vibe is that Indy has potential but Denver is already where they need to be. Zach disagrees. He thinks this will be a really close game that Indy wins late in the 4th quarter.

My Pick: Denver

Z’s Pick: Indianapolis

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