2013 NFL Preview & Prognostications

goodell-e1348946003302I strongly dislike Roger Goodell. He is by far the worst commissioner the NFL has had and maybe one of the worst suits in the history of organized sports at any level. I have been watching a lot of pre-season games A) because that’s just how I roll and B) because the NFL Network may be the greatest invention since the light bulb. It saddens me to see what Commissioner Fidel Goodell has done to the game of football. There’s a penalty on every other play. Defenders can’t hit a guy high, and now there’s a movement to ban hitting low due to knee injuries. What the heck is a defensive player supposed to do?? Most of the penalties I have seen called lately were, as recently as 2 or 3 years ago, just good solid football. And then there is the whole paralysis by analysis of what is and what isn’t a catch. When I was a kid a catch was a catch…but not anymore. Within 5-10 years pro football will be unwatchable and the destruction will be the fault of the evil Roger Goodell. The best thing for the NFL would be for Goodell to go away…one way or another…and for a new commissioner to simply say “Oh yeah…all that namby pamby “safety” crap…forget it. Let’s play fnflootball!!”. Unfortunately I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon. In the meantime I suppose we’ll forge ahead with business as usual while the game still somewhat resembles the football we knew & loved. Each team’s 2012 record is in parentheses immediately followed by my prediction for this season’s outcome. As always I’ll remind you that your humble Potentate of Profundity does not condone gambling so if you wager your lunch money and lose don’t blame me. Enjoy!!

 

 

AFC

East

New England Patriots         

(12-4)  10-6

Miami Dolphins                    

(7-9)    8-8

Buffalo Bills                           

(6-10)  8-8

New York Jets                        

(6-10)  2-14

The Jets will be terrible and we all know it. It doesn’t matter whether it’s Mark Sanchez or rookie Geno Smith starting at quarterback. Head coach Rex Ryan might be gone bypatriots the time the bye week rolls around midway thru the season. Buffalo is starting someone named Jeff Tuel at QB in Week 1 which pretty much tells one all they need to know about the Bills. A lot of folks seem to be cautiously jumping on the Dolphins bandwagon but quite frankly I just don’t get it. They’ll be mediocre at best. So there is no doubt that the Patriots will walk away with their 11th division title in the past 13 years…the question is just how quickly they can clinch. I do think New England has plateaued and might take a tiny step back, but in this horrible division it will hardly be noticeable.

 

West

Denver Broncos                    

(13-3)  11-5

Kansas City Chiefs                 

(2-14)  9-7

Oakland Raiders                   

(4-12)  6-10

San Diego Chargers              

(7-9)    5-11

You want proof positive that life is unfair?? Terrelle Pryor is now a starting quarterback in the NFL while his former Ohio State head coach Jim Tressel is broncos-4759basically unemployable as a head coach until 2017. Not that Pryor’s presence behind center will help the Oakland Raiders all that much. This is Denver’s division to lose, and though I am a bit concerned about their defense after losing pass rusher Elvis Dumervil to an idiotic clerical error there are no such worries about Peyton Manning and the offense, especially after the addition of receiver Wes Welker. This will be Manning’s best opportunity to add another Super Bowl ring to his collection and I think he’ll make hay while the sun is shining. The Chiefs might be one of the most improved teams in the NFL after hiring new head coach Andy Reid and trading for QB Alex Smith.

 

South

Indianapolis Colts                 

(11-5)  11-5

Houston Texans                    

(12-4)  9-7

Tennessee Titans                  

(6-10)  8-8

Jacksonville Jaguars              

(2-14)  5-11

Colts’ QB Andrew Luck acquitted himself pretty well in his rookie season and I don’t think we’ll see any kind of sophomore slump in 2013. Indianapolis is a Indianapolis_Colts_Helmetyoung team that should continue to grow & achieve, and I really like the addition of running back Ahmad Bradshaw so long as he can stay healthy. What most pundits would likely disagree with is my assertion that the Texans will take a step backward. I am not at all convinced that running back Arian Foster can remain upright thru the entire season and top wideout Andre Johnson is now 32 years old. If first round draft pick DeAndre Hopkins, a wide receiver out of Clemson, can blossom early that might help. The other side of the ball features NFL Defensive Player of the Year JJ Watt so there are no worries there. This might be a make or break year for Titans’ quarterback Jake Locker and I am not convinced he’ll deliver. It’d be helpful if running back Chris Johnson could somehow return to his 2009 incarnation when he ran for 2000 yards and scored 14 touchdowns. The Jags are probably going to be bad again, though maybe not quite as bad as last year. When your quarterback competition involves Blaine Gabbert and Chad Henne that’s not a good sign.

 

North

Cincinnati Bengals               

(10-6)  11-5

Baltimore Ravens                 

(10-6)  10-6

Pittsburgh Steelers               

(8-8)    9-7

Cleveland Browns                 

(5-11)  7-9

This could be the most competitive division in the NFL in 2013. Opinions vary wildly about the defending Super Bowl Champion Baltimore Ravens. Some sayCincinnati_Bengals_Helmet this year’s Ravens are even better than last year. I can see that logic. The loss of safety Ed Reed and linebacker Ray Lewis won’t affect the team all that much on the field as both of those guys were old & slow. Baltimore added sack master Elvis Dumervil so theoretically the defense got younger & more athletic. But I just don’t think a team can go thru so many changes and not be affected. The loss of receiver Anquan Boldin…who was traded to San Francisco…is huge. Defending champs do generally make the playoffs but only 7 have ever repeated. The Bengals have quietly evolved from the Bungles to a nominal favorite to win the division. It is amazing what can be accomplished outside of a prison cell. The Browns are showing signs of life but aren’t quite ready to make a stir just yet. I actually read one fellow prognosticator who thinks the Steelers will win the division. Nothing would make me happier. However, I am very concerned about the offensive line (again), and as excited as I was when Pittsburgh drafted running back Le’veon Bell in the 2nd round that enthusiasm has been tempered by a pre-season foot injury that might keep the rookie off the field for the first couple of games.

 

Playoffs:                               

New England, Indianapolis, Denver, Cincinnati, Baltimore, Kansas City

AFC Championship:           Indianapolis Colts vs. Denver Broncos

 

 

NFC

East

Washington Redskins          

(10-6)  10-6

Dallas Cowboys                     

(8-8)    9-7

New York Giants                   

(9-7)    8-8

Philadelphia Eagles              

(4-12)  7-9

I said that the AFC North might be the NFL’s most competitive division. Well here is a worthy rival. The Redskins season likely rests entirely on quarterback Washington_Redskins_logoRGIII’s recovery from a knee injury suffered in a playoff game last season. Will he start in Week 1?? Will the powers-that-be proceed with caution and hold him out for the first few weeks of the season?? When he does see action will he be the same multi-talented threat he used to be?? The Cowboys…as usual…have lofty expectations that they won’t achieve. If I were head coach Jason Garrett I wouldn’t lose my real estate agent’s number just yet. I like the Eagles’ selection of Chip Kelly as their new head coach and I think he’ll do well in due time…but there’ll be some growing pains. I can never seem to get a good read on the NY Giants. When I think they’ll be good they fall apart and when I predict they’ll suck they win the Super Bowl. So it is entirely possible they’ll be a game or two better than my prediction. Or a lot worse. I don’t know.

 

West

Seattle Seahawks                 

(11-5)  12-4

San Francisco 49ers             

(11-4-1) 10-6              

St. Louis Rams                       

(7-8-1)9-7

Arizona Cardinals                 

(5-11)  3-13

I’ll make one bold prediction. There will NOT be another tie this season!! The 49ers have history going against them as 28 out of 42 Super Bowl losers since seattle-seahawks11970 haven’t won a playoff game the next season. Twelve of those teams missed the postseason and 16 lost their first playoff game. I do think ‘Frisco takes a tiny step backward this season simply because everyone will be gunning for them. It’ll be an interesting battle between San Francisco & Seattle. The two teams play each other on 9/15 (in Seattle) and 12/8 (in San Francisco) and my vibe is that Seahawks’ quarterback Russell Wilson will lead his team to a division title. The Rams lost RB Steven Jackson in the offseason but are stacked at the position with younger fresher legs. Quarterback Sam Bradford is at a crossroads in his career but the addition of speedy receiver Tavon Austin will help a lot. The Cardinals are a mess even though Carson Palmer has stabilized the quarterback position just a bit. Arizona will have to rely on their defense to get the job done and I think they need another year or two to gel.

 

South

New Orleans Saints              

(7-9)    10-6

Atlanta Falcons                     

(13-3)  10-6

Carolina Panthers                 

(7-9)    8-8

Tampa Bay Buccaneers        

(7-9)    7-9

There’s not much to say about Carolina & Tampa. I don’t see either team making a positive jump in 2013. I think they’ll just be treading water. The real 10_new_orleans_saintsaction will be at the top of the division where I think the Saints rebound from the collateral damage of BountyGate and get back on the winning track with head coach Sean Payton returning to the sideline. I expect quarterback Drew Brees to once again throw for 4000+ yards & 30+ touchdowns and the defense is now being led by new coordinator Rob Ryan which is a very good thing. Many of those TDs thrown by Brees will be caught by tight end Jimmy Graham who might just be the best in the business. One of my more…risky…forecasts is a slight decline for the Atlanta Falcons who came oh so close to going to The Super Bowl last season. The Falcons added running back Steven Jackson and defensive end Usi Umenyiora in the offseason which would seem to indicate that they believe this year is their big chance to finally get over the hump. Maybe they will. But I just don’t think it’s going to be quite that simple. I’ve been wrong before though.

 

North

Green Bay Packers                

(11-5)  10-6

Chicago Bears                         

(10-6)  9-7

Minnesota Vikings                 

(10-6)  8-8

Detroit Lions                          

(4-12)  7-9

Last year I sang the praises of the Green Bay Packers and predicted that they’d beat New England in the highest scoring Super Bowl of all time. They Green_Bay_Packers_Helmetpromptly went out and lost 3 of their first 5 games and were beaten by the 49ers in the second round of the playoffs. So my expectations are somewhat cowed this time around though I still predict a division crown…they’ll just have to work for it. The Bears are another team like the NY Giants…difficult to read. I’m not a fan of quarterback Jay Cutler although if anyone can bring out his best it is probably new head coach Marc Trestman. The Vikings of course have running back Adrian Peterson, but as good as he is I don’t think he’ll get anywhere near 2000 yards again. For Minnesota to make another run at the playoffs quarterback Christian Ponder will have to show some significant growth and the defense…led by pass rusher Jared Allen…will have to be stellar. Minnesota ranked 2nd in rushing offense last season but 31st in passing offense. They’ll need to find some balance in 2013. The Lions…much like the Cleveland Browns…have shown some occasional signs of life but just aren’t there quite yet.

 

Playoffs:       

Washington, New Orleans, Seattle, Green Bay, San Francisco, Atlanta

NFC Championship:           New Orleans Saints vs. San Francisco 49ers

 

SB

San Francisco 49ers                       30

Denver Broncos                              34

2013 College Football Pre-Season Top 25

football_goalIt’s been a weird summer. Temperatures here in West Virginia seemingly hovered in the 70’s much of the past few months and it has College-Football-Maprained every other day. The kids started back to school in mid-August so we’ve kind of been in autumn mode already. So be it. Fall means football and football has always been my favorite season, although to be honest I feel that changing ever-so-slightly. Watching NFL pre-season games has been an exercise in frustration the past two weeks for reasons that I’ll explain when we do the NFL preview soon. For now it is enough to say that I am glad that Roger Goodell hasn’t yet figured out a way to seize power of the NCAA and ruin the collegiate game the way he is bastardizing the pro game. Anyway, as always I must remind my dear citizens of The Manoverse that I do not encourage wagering and I am not really all that good at this so please don’t head to Vegas and risk your kids’ college fund on these predictions.

 

 

 

1              Oregon

Last Season:       12-1

Key Game:          10/26 vs. UCLA

The biggest loss the Ducks suffered after a stellar 2012 season was their head coach Chip Kelly to the NFL’s Philadelphia Eagles. Usually that’d be enough to dissuade Oregon-Ducksme from picking a team anywhere close to this high. However, my vibe is that new coach Mark Helfrich…the former offensive coordinator…will keep this train rolling forward just fine. Oregon has played in a big January bowl game the past 4 years and I believe they have a great chance to outlast the always stiff competition in the Pac 12 to make what will be the final BCS title game on January 6, 2014.

 

 

2              Ohio State

Last Season:       12-0

Key Games:        9/28 vs. Wisconsin, 11/30 at Michigan

The Buckeyes went undefeated last season but it didn’t matter because they were on probation and weren’t allowed to play in the post-season. With all of that osucraziness now in the rear view mirror head coach Urban Meyer can now get down to business. Is junior QB Braxton Miller the real deal?? Most people seem to think so. I see no reason why Ohio St. shouldn’t easily roll thru the early part of their schedule until running into Wisconsin…and that game will be in the friendly confines of The Horseshoe in Columbus. Whether or not the season ends in Pasadena on January 6th could very well be determined at the end of November when the Buckeyes travel to The Big House to face the Michigan Wolverines.

 

 

3              Alabama

Last Season:       13-1

Key Games:        9/14 at Texas A&M, 11/9 vs. LSU

The Tide has won back-to-back national titles and 3 out of the last 4. Most pre-season polls have them ranked #1. But since A) I am a non-conformist and B) I just AlabamaCrimsonTide2think the SEC is too tough to assume that anyone can go undefeated I can’t quite pull the trigger on ranking ‘Bama #1. Having said that a quick glance at their schedule doesn’t really raise any eyebrows. At this point who knows if Texas A&M will even have their Heisman winning, autograph signing, NCAA rules violating QB Johnny Manziel, and even if they do one has to logically believe that Alabama will be geared up to avenge last year’s 29-24 loss to the Aggies. Can LSU go into Tuscaloosa and pull off a November surprise?? Possibly. Or maybe the only thing standing between ‘Bama and yet another trip to the national title game is whoever they face in the SEC Championship game…likely either Georgia, Florida, or South Carolina. But one loss might be all it takes this year to knock the defending champs out of contention…and I am guessing some team will do just that at some point in 2013.

 

 

4              Texas

Last Season:       9-4

Key Games:        9/7 at BYU, 10/12 vs. Oklahoma, 11/16 vs. Oklahoma St.

After nine straight seasons of 10 or more victories the past three seasons have been somewhat…lean…in Austin. It seems odd that a 9-4 record in 2012 would be texasconsidered disappointing (especially after going 5-7 just two years earlier), but that’s just how these elite teams roll. I think the Longhorns are finally primed to re-ascend to the top of The Big 12 and possibly contend for a national championship. The conference is solid but not all that spectacular with only two other legit contenders for the crown. Texas has both of those games…against Oklahoma & Oklahoma St…at home. An early season contest in Provo against BYU might be interesting.

 

 

5              South Carolina

Last Season:       11-2

Key Games:        9/7 at Georgia, 11/16 vs. Florida, 11/30 vs. Clemson

The Gamecocks have a very good defensive end that you may have heard of named Jadeveon Clowney. Now I don’t know whether or not he’ll live up to the hype in Gamecocksthe NFL, but the fact that he’s seen as a combination of Lawrence Taylor & Reggie White makes him a singular collegiate talent…even in the elite SEC. An early season contest in Athens against the Bulldogs might go a long way in deciding the SEC East and become a significant factor in determining who will face Alabama for the conference championship. An in-state rivalry game against the ACC’s Clemson Tigers isn’t likely to decide anything except poll position and bowl placement but since those are kind of a big deal it’ll be a fun game to watch.

 

 

6              Louisville

Last Season:       11-2

Key Games:        12/5 at Cincinnati

The Big East is gone, replaced by the American Athletic Conference. Either way it’s a last hurrah and most likely the last time anyone outside of the top teams in the Louisville_Cardinalspower conferences (SEC, ACC, Big 12, Pac 12, Big 10…oh…and Notre Dame) will have the opportunity to sniff a top tier bowl unless they buy a ticket. Not that it matters to the Cardinals since they are heading to the ACC in 2014 anyway. Fortunately for Louisville they just happen to have a junior QB who’s also a projected 1st round NFL talent. Serendipity indeed. Because of their current conference affiliation and the perceived lack of respect for it I believe that the Cardinals will have to go undefeated to finish this high in the rankings even if they can still go to a BCS bowl just by winning the conference, and I think they have a really good shot at doing just that.

 

 

7              Michigan

Last Season:       8-5

Key Games:        9/7 vs. Notre Dame, 11/2 at Michigan St., 11/9 vs. Nebraska, 11/30 vs. Ohio St.

Coach Brady Hoke is 19-7 in his first two seasons in Ann Arbor…but he is 14-0 at home. That bodes well for home contests against Notre Dame, Nebraska, & Ohio michigan_helmet-25004St. The Wolverines will probably need to win 2 of those 3 to have any shot at a Top 10 finish. QB Denard Robinson is gone and now trying to make the roster of the NFL’s Jacksonville Jaguars. However, Michigan still has junior Devin Gardner, who actually saw significant time at quarterback last season, and it might be a blessing in disguise. It always felt like there may have been too much of a concerted effort to put Robinson in the spotlight…sometimes at the expense of the team. In 2012 Michigan lost 2 of its first 4 games to Alabama & Notre Dame. I don’t think The Irish will be quite as good in 2013 so I’d be surprised if Michigan doesn’t go 7-0 pretty effortlessly before facing the Spartans in East Lansing at the beginning of November. The annual Michigan-Ohio St. rivalry battle is in Ann Arbor this season, and while I don’t think Michigan will be in contention for the national championship they’ll be jacked to have the chance to cost the Buckeyes a title opportunity.

 

 

8              Florida State

Last Season:       12-2

Key Games:        10/19 at Clemson, 11/30 at Florida

The ACC is on the verge of becoming the new Big East…still one of the big boys but certainly on the bottom rung of the ladder. That could change if newcomers (in FloridaStateSeminoles12014) Pitt, Syracuse, & Louisville emerge…or re-emerge…as legit football powers. At any rate, regardless of the mediocrity of teams like Boston College, Georgia Tech, NC St., & Maryland or the even worse ineptitude of Duke & Wake Forest, the Seminoles have long been college football royalty. And while the ghost of Bobby Bowden will never completely go away Coach Jimbo Fisher (a Clarksburg, WV native and fellow alumnus of the Liberty High School) seems to be settling in quite nicely at the beginning of his 4th season at the helm in Tallahassee. A mid-season clash at Clemson will probably decide who wins the Atlantic Division of the conference, while the annual in-state rivalry game against the Florida Gators at the end of the season may have broader implications.

 

 

9              Nebraska

Last Season:       10-4

Key Games:        9/14 vs. UCLA, 11/9 at Michigan, 11/16 vs. Michigan St.

The Cornhuskers transition from The Big 12 (which has ten teams) to The Big 10 (which has 12 teams) has been seamless the past two seasons and I see no reasonhuskers why 2013 should be any different. Two of their key games (one is a non-conference clash with UCLA) are in Lincoln and they do not play Ohio State at all (unless it’s in the conference title game…a distinct possibility). Games against the two Michigan schools will decide the division crown. QB Taylor Martinez returns for his senior year and has become a legit dual threat…a competent passer and a constant threat to run the ball. I’m not sure if he’ll be considered a big time NFL prospect, but at this level he’s a star.

 

 

10           Stanford

Last Season:       12-2

Key Games:        10/19 vs. UCLA, 11/7 vs. Oregon, 11/16 at USC, 11/30 at Notre Dame

Stanford fared just fine in 2012 without star QB Andrew Luck who had left for the NFL. A tough overtime loss to Notre Dame in South Bend aStanford-Logo-Treend an inexplicable defeat at the hands of the very average Washington Huskies were the only blemishes on their record. I foresee a very similar season in 2013. I think they’ll certainly lose to Oregon, and after that two questions arise. First, can they win atleast 2 out of 3 of their other key games against UCLA, USC, & Notre Dame?? Secondly, will there be another curious loss to a lesser yet not terrible team like Oregon St. or Arizona St.??

 

 

11           Georgia

Last Season:       12-2

Key Games:        8/31 at Clemson, 9/7 vs. South Carolina, 9/28 vs. LSU, 11/2 at Florida

Last year I overlooked the Bulldogs. My rationale was simply that in a tough SEC someone had to be the odd man out, and I chose to endorse the likes of Tennessee,id_bulldog_logo_l Auburn, & Arkansas (in addition to safe picks like Alabama & LSU) instead of Georgia. Oops. I will not make that same mistake this time, although I am a bit trepidatious because instead of starting out the season with 2 or 3 cupcakes like most teams seem to these days Georgia will begin 2013 against the likes of Clemson then South Carolina. If they can split those two contests they’ll get a one week break against an inferior opponent before hosting LSU. I don’t know who makes the schedule in Athens but I think they may need to be fired. That being said I think the worst case scenario for this team is 9 wins. 10 or more victories will almost certainly secure a Top 10 finish. Senior QB Aaron Murray will get an early Heisman push and is a solid NFL prospect.

 

 

12           Clemson

Last Season:       11-2

Key Games:        8/31 vs. Georgia, 10/19 vs. Florida St., 11/30 at South Carolina

Clemson returns both QB Taj Boyd and WR Sammy Watkins, which is a huge reason why they are getting so much pre-season love. On the flip side the offense did clemsonlose key contributors RB Andre Ellington and WR DeAndre Hopkins to the NFL. 2 of the 3 key games noted above will be at home. Opening the season against the Georgia Bulldogs is an undeniably tough mountain to climb and makes things a bit unpredictable because so much will depend on what each team has been able to accomplish in the spring and in the past few weeks of late summer practice. I don’t think the loser of that contest is necessarily toast for the remainder of the year, but they will be behind the proverbial 8-Ball. If the Tigers can steal 2 of those key games they are almost assured of a Top 10 finish.

 

 

13           Oklahoma

Last Season:       10-3

Key Games:        9/28 at Notre Dame, 10/5 vs. TCU, 10/12 vs. Texas, 12/7 at Oklahoma St.

The Sooners will be starting a freshman at QB which makes me just a little bit nervous. But I do like their schedule. This feels like another 10 win season for the oklahomaSooners. The question is where do the losses come?? An early season defeat at the hands of Notre Dame wouldn’t hurt nearly as much as losing at the end of the season to in-state rival Oklahoma St. I expect this year’s Red River Shootout (yes I still call it that…screw political correctness) against Texas will decide The Big 12 and possibly play a role in determining who plays for the national championship. QB Blake Bell…aka The Bell Dozer…may not have won the starting job but he’ll surely have an important part to play in the offense.

 

 

14           Cincinnati

Last Season:       10-3

Key Games:        12/5 vs. Louisville

The Bearcats season boils down to one game. Whoever wins that game on December 12 will represent the American Athletic Conference in the final round of BCS CincinnatiBearcatsbowls. The loser will be playing in the Russell Athletic Bowl in December even if they have 11 wins. A year from now Louisville will be another middle-of-the-road, largely forgotten about ACC team (see Miami, FL., Boston College, &, Georgia Tech), while Cincy remains on the deck of the Titanic hoping for a lifeboat. Former coach Butch Jones has moved on to Tennessee, but Cincinnati was…to the shock of many…able to lure new head coach Tommy Tuberville away from Texas Tech. Perhaps Tuberville knows something the rest of us don’t. At the moment it looks to be a two-headed monster situation at QB but personally I’m rooting for Munchie Legaux simply because that is a freakin’ awesome name.

 

 

15           UCLA

Last season:       9-5

Key Games:        9/14 at Nebraska, 10/19 at Stanford, 10/26 at Oregon, 11/30 at USC

USC gets all the love, but there’s another team in Los Angeles that folks need to pay attention to. Once upon a time the UCLA Bruins…admittedly a school betterucla_bruins2 known for its storied basketball team…had a fairly solid football tradition. Bruins alums include such names as Troy Aikman, Jonathan Ogden, Freeman McNeil, Floyd Reese, & Maurice Jones-Drew. They dominated the Pac 10 for much of the 1980s and have been to 12 Rose Bowls, the last being in 1998. However, they have been average at best for most of the past decade. That started to change last year with a 9-5 record under new head coach Jim Mora Jr.  Here is how I see this going down. There is a fairly good chance that this team loses all three of the initial key games I’ve selected. If we assume they win the other 8 then that means the season comes down to the rivalry showdown with USC, and it is completely with the realm of possibility that a division crown and an opportunity to play in the conference championship game (likely against Oregon or Stanford) will be on the line. It’ll be nice to have the Battle of L.A. mean something again.

 

 

16           Oklahoma State

Last Season:       8-5

Key Games:        10/19 vs. TCU, 11/16 at Texas, 12/7 vs. Oklahoma

I believe The Big 12 will be a three horse race and Oklahoma St. will be in that conversation. The Cowboys are almost always an offensive juggernaut. In 2012 they OkSt.logo_score 35+ points nine times. One of their five losses was in overtime to in-state rival Oklahoma and another was by just 5 points to Texas. The Cowboys replace offensive coordinators more often than Van Halen changes lead singers but it doesn’t seem to matter all that much. My biggest concern is the defense. In those 5 losses last year Oklahoma St.’s defense gave up over 47 points per game. That has to change this season and I think it will. The October matchup against TCU is huge. I have gone out on a limb and predicted that the Horned Frogs will not be the Top 25 team that most other polls say they are so the Cowboys need to justify my logic by winning that particular game. Even if they lose to both Texas & Oklahoma they’ll still be in the hunt as long as they win their other 10 games.

 

 

17           Texas A&M

Last Season:       11-2

Key Games:        9/14 vs. Alabama, 11/23 at LSU

The most important question for the Aggies might be how many victories they have to vacate down the road when the NCAA finds that Heisman winning WB Johnny a&mManziel got paid to autograph memorabilia. However, since that issue is a complete wildcard we’ll just have to let that all take care of itself when the time is right and deal with what we think we know about the team. If we take Manziel at face value as a legit player who won’t be disqualified for being a filthy cheater…well…there are still issues. First of all I am not at all sure that he was deserving of that Heisman. Secondly, since winning the award Johnny Football has seemed to be just a bit too enamored with himself and his celebrity status. How will this affect his play and the team chemistry in 2013?? Obviously I don’t think it’ll be that big of a deal. Can the Aggies upset Alabama a second consecutive year?? I highly doubt it although the game is in College Station. But even with a loss there they should reach the end of November with a 9-1 record before heading to Baton Rouge to face LSU. That’ll be a huge game.

 

 

18           Fresno State

Last Season:       9-4

Key Games:        9/20 vs. Boise St.

Traditionally I have a shot-in-the-dark pick in these rankings. It doesn’t take much skill to put a bunch of SEC & Big Ten teams in a Top 25…it’s just putting them in thefresno right order that’s tricky. But…contrary to what the TV people would have you believe…college football is more than just the 4 or 5 “power conferences”.  They play some pretty decent football in the MAC, Mountain West, & C-USA. I have been a Fresno St. fan for awhile now. Their games are always entertaining and they have been a bowl team in 12 of the past 13 seasons. Senior QB Derek Carr is the younger brother of David Carr, who may not have had much of an NFL career but was the NCAA’s most prolific passer in 2001. There’s got to be something in the genes, right?? Much like the Cincinnati Bearcats the season for Fresno St. boils down to one big game. My vibes have led me to jump off the Boise St. bandwagon this year and this game on September 20th will…in the words of Billy Joel…have me walking away a fool or a king.

 

 

19           Notre Dame

Last Season:       12-1

Key Games:        9/7 at Michigan, 9/21 vs. Michigan St., 9/28 vs. Oklahoma, 11/30 at Stanford

A year ago I reluctantly ranked the hated Irish #21 and said that they “will almost certainly lose atleast 3 of the 4” key games I’d selected. Instead they went NotreDameFightingIrishundefeated before screwing the pooch in the National Championship. Okay…so I am not always right. I’m honest about that fact. However, that being said I am once again ranking Notre Dame just a bit lower than most other polls. Sophomore Everett Golson is gone for the season after seemingly forgetting the “student” part of the student-athlete equation. Senior QB Tommy Rees isn’t a bad fallback option, but one has to believe that there is a reason he lost the starting gig to Golson a year ago. Oh yeah…now I remember. Rees was boozing it up at a party and got into a scuffle with the cops which led to a brief suspension therefore opening the door for Golson. Those Irish coaches sure can pick ‘em, huh?? At any rate, Rees now gets another opportunity. Linebacker Manti Te’o has moved on to the NFL (no word on the whereabouts of imaginary dead girlfriend Lennay Kekua), and RBs Theo Riddick & Cierre Wood are also gone. So why rank Notre Dame?? One reason…head coach Brian Kelly. He is undoubtedly one of the best coaches in college football and I believe in his football prowess & motivational skill. Notre Dame’s schedule is always always always brutal, but I still believe they’ll find a way to win 9 or 10 games.

 

 

20           Florida

Last Season:       11-2

Key Games:        10/12 at LSU, 11/2 vs. Georgia, 11/16 at South Carolina, 11/30 vs. Florida St.

The Gators are the 4th of 5 SEC teams in our countdown. Normally this would make me a bit skittish, but six SEC teams finished 2012 in the Top 25, and we all knowflorida gators image that the talking heads love to fawn all over the SEC. Can they split the 4 key games noted above?? Florida has played in a bowl game for 22 consecutive years so it is difficult to fathom that they could ever be anything less than atleast pretty good. These are not the Steve Spurrier/Urban Myer Gators of Danny Wuerffel, Shane Matthews, Chris Leak, or Rex Grossman. Head coach Will Muschamp likes to run the ball and was able to do so effectively in 2012 with RB Mike Gillislee who has moved on to the NFL. I expect junior QB Jeff Driskel to grow considerably in that role this season. The biggest question will be the defense. It was a top 5 group in 2012, but several players, including DT Sharrif Floyd and safety Matt Elam, are now getting paid to play on Sunday. But Muschamp is a former defensive coordinator so he knows how to build a defense. The Gators will need to steal atleast 1 and preferably 2 of the key games noted above to secure a Top 25 ranking.

 

 

21           Northwestern

Last Season:       10-3

Key Games:        10/5 vs. Ohio St., 10/12 at Wisconsin, 11/2 at Nebraska, 11/6 vs. Michigan, 11/23 vs. Michigan St.

Northwestern is generally considered more of an academic school, but they have had some success on the football field, winning 8 or more games six times since Northwestern_Wildcats1995. I really like Wildcats head coach Pat Fitzgerald, who I recall being a tough linebacker for the Wildcats in the mid-1990’s when they won two consecutive Big Ten titles. Fitzgerald has led his team to 5 straight bowl games. If Northwestern can win just 2 of their 5 key games (easier said than done) and win the other 8 games that they should win this could very well be a 9 or 10 win team.

 

 

22           Michigan St.

Last Season:       7-6

Key Games:        9/21 at Notre Dame, 11/2 vs. Michigan, 11/16 at Nebraska, 11/23 at Northwestern

I know I have mentioned this before but I’m not at all fond of using multiple quarterbacks. You pick a guy and go with him until he gives you a reason to make a michiganchange. But as of this writing my intel says that there are 3 or 4 guys who could take snaps for the Spartans. I actually had this team ranked significantly higher until I read that. At any rate, games at Notre Dame and Nebraska could make or break the season for Michigan St. And of course the annual in-state rivalry clash with the Wolverines is always big…and in 2013 it’s in East Lansing. You may be intrigued that I consider Northwestern to be an important game. The way I see it The Big Ten (which has 12 teams) has the potential to have 5 or 6 pretty good teams. Ohio St., Michigan, & Nebraska are legit Top 10 programs. The second tier consists of Wisconsin, Michigan St., & Northwestern, making the Spartans-Wildcats late November matchup likely a deciding factor when it comes to poll position and bowl bids.

 

 

23           LSU

Last Season:       10-3

Key Games:        8/31 vs. TCU, 9/28 at Georgia, 10/12 vs. Florida, 11/9 at Alabama, 11/23 vs. Texas A&M

It won’t take long for us to find out exactly what the Bayou Bengals are made of in 2013. The TCU Horned Frogs are a team that I am overlooking, but most other lsu_logo-9547pre-season polls seem to believe they are a solid Top 25 team. I expect LSU to defeat them, but there’ll be more to it than simply who wins and who loses. If LSU handles their business and beats TCU effortlessly it could bode well for the remainder of the year. However, if LSU struggles mightily and merely ekes out a victory it could portend future doom in the stacked SEC. The best thing I can say about a murderous schedule is that atleast LSU gets two weeks to prepare for tough games against Alabama and Texas A&M. Winning just two of the 5 key games I’ve listed should mean a 9 win season and solidify a Top 25 ranking.

 

 

24           Tulsa

Last Season:       11-3

Key Games:        9/14 at Oklahoma, 11/14 vs. Marshall

The defending Conference USA Champions are unlikely to take anyone by surprise this year but that’s okay. I see no reason why they can’t again win a revamped tulsaconference (their last in C-USA before joining the American Athletic Conference in 2014). I don’t expect them to defeat Oklahoma in mid-September, but that game could tell us a lot. If Tulsa gets blown out by 50 points then they are unlikely to sniff the Top 25 even if they win the conference. However, if they can be somewhat competitive against the Sooners…maybe a 38-21 type of contest…and win the remainder of their games then maybe they can sneak into the rankings.

 

 

25           BYU

Last Season:       8-5

Key Games:        9/7 vs. Texas, 10/25 vs. Boise St., 11/9 at Wisconsin, 11/23 at Notre Dame

I seem to have an odd BYU fetish. For two straight years I have had them ranked #10 in this pre-season poll. In 2011 they won 10 games but finished unranked and BYU_Cougarsin 2012 they went 8-5. The schedule is undoubtedly brutal. Winning even one of the key games noted above will be a difficult task…winning 2+ will be darn near impossible. So let’s be generous and say the Cougars go 1-3 in these games and even go a step further by predicting that they won’t get completely destroyed in the losses. Then it becomes atleast within the realm of possibility that they could win 8 or 9 games. And any team that could achieve that level of success under such demanding circumstances would deserve to be ranked.

A Few Book Recommendations for Baseball Fans

Sometimes I surprise myself by the predilections that I develop seemingly out of the mist. I have always fancied myself somewhat of a renaissance man who is interested in a wide range of subjects, which I generally consider a positive though I have noticed over the years that truly successful people seem to have tunnel vision and a laser focus on their vocation of choice. At any rate, this “variety is the spice of life” attitude spreads to the bookshelves in The Bachelor Palace as well, where one can find biographies of Founding Fathers alongside the Harry Potter series, books about agricultural science & history on the same shelf as Hemingway, and Shakespeare sharing space with The Hunger Games.

 

bballAt any rate I have…somewhat to my bewilderment…amassed quite a collection of baseball biographies. This is surprising to me because my feelings about baseball have been tepid at best for quite awhile, although as simple as it sounds and as trivial as it may seem to some I think the success thus far of the 2013 Pittsburgh Pirates has me on the verge of falling in deep like with our national pastime once again. However, I also think it wise to look a bit deeper because you see my bookshelves are not filled with recent biographies about contemporary players like Derek Jeter, Mike Piazza, John Smoltz, or RA Dickey. Cheating scandals & rampant drug use still cause me to be a bit jaded about the modern game of baseball. Instead what you’ll find lining the walls of The Bachelor Palace are tomes about hallowed names of yesteryear…Ruth, Aaron, Mays, Mantle, Maris, Musial.

If I could hope in the ol’ DeLorean and go back in time I think one of the places I might like to visit would be the world of baseball during its golden age. I’d like to catch some games at places like Ebbets Field or The Polo Grounds, see teams like The Gashouse Gang & The Whiz Kids, and watch Hall of Famers like Dizzy Dean, Pie Traynor, & Pee Wee Reese. Why?? That’s an excellent question that I may address more in depth at some other time. For now it will suffice to say that our collective bromance with this bygone era and the quintessential American game that helped define it seems eternal and that’s okay with me.

Which is all a longwinded precursor to me endorsing three excellent baseball biographies that I have read in years past and that are likely to be enjoyed by any baseball fan. There will be sequels on this particular topic, but I think it best to just whet your appetite right now with a few recommendations:

 

Clemente: The Passion and Grace of Baseball’s Last Hero

Unfortunately one of the most beloved Pittsburgh Pirates of all time died in a tragic plane crash on New Year’s Eve 1972 when I was just 2 months old. However, growing up as a Pirates fan and living just a couple of hours from Pittsburgh means that I have heard a lot about Roberto Clemente my entire life. The Pirates organization has done an excellent job of keeping his memory alive over the past 40 years and recognizing what a truly special talent he was. However, one need not be a Pirates fan to enjoy this first-rate biography about Clemente written by David rcMaraniss, whose biography about Green Bay Packers football coach Vince Lombardi called When Pride Still Mattered is still one of the best books of any genre I have ever read. That combined with my admiration for what I’d always heard about Clemente were what prompted me to purchase this book about 5 years ago. This is a well written & engrossing story that is reverent & respectful yet honest about its subject. Clemente was somewhat neurotic & sensitive and felt the weight of being a black latino superstar. He was often treated shabbily by the press but could give as good as he got. In other words Clemente was a flawed human being just like the rest of us. That being said, his nobility & kindness shines through as well. And the author doesn’t shortchange the baseball aspect of things. I sometimes feel as though Roberto Clemente is overlooked in discussions about the greats of the game, with only long time Pirates fans willing to reserve for him his proper place among the baseball immortals. The fact is that not only should Clemente rank right up there with the best that ever played game, but he could have been even better if not for various physical ailments that plagued him throughout life. This is a book that should be read not only by anyone who calls themselves a Pittsburgh Pirates fan, but also by everyone who loves the game of baseball.

 

Luckiest Man: The Life and Death of Lou Gehrig

When I was in college I had the opportunity to take a class about sports movies. Yes that really is a thing…and it was gehrigawesome. We watched Knute Rocke: All American (with future President Ronald Reagan as The Gipper), The Natural, and Rocky…among others. But I think my favorite may have been Pride of the Yankees starring Gary Cooper as Lou Gehrig. Most people know two things about Gehrig. They know that he was baseball’s “Iron Man”, having played in 2130 consecutive games between 1925 & 1939 (a record that stood for 56 years until Cal Ripken Jr. broke it in 1995), and they know that he died at age 37 from the debilitating muscle disease that now bears his name. But there is so much more to Gehrig and this book tells the story well. Many who have seen Pride of the Yankees may attribute the perception we have of Gehrig as a soft spoken, humble, down-to-earth guy to Gary Cooper’s wide-eyed, aw shucks, boy-next-door portrayal, but what the reader of Luckiest Man begins to understand is that Cooper’s portrayal was an extremely accurate representation of who Gehrig truly was. That’s not to say that Gehrig was perfect. He was a timid momma’s boy that didn’t mesh all that well with outgoing & gregarious teammate Babe Ruth and was caught in the middle of a lifelong tug-of-war between his mother and his wife that many more…forceful…men might have put the kibosh on pretty quick. But hey…we all have our issues, right?? The best endorsement I can give this book is that I am a lifelong hater of everything NY Yankees and because of the movie and this book I actually respect Lou Gehrig. You will too.

 

Joe DiMaggio : The Hero’s Life

dimaggio08_1_41Another Yankee?? Hmmm…maybe it’s just the modern day Yankees that I hate. If I had been around 60 years ago I might actually be a Yankee fan. Anyway, I remember when this biography came out about 13 years ago it was pretty controversial. Joltin’ Joe had always been a national treasure…a hero to Italian Americans, the apple of every girl’s eye, and the envy of every red-blooded male because of his graceful athletic skill and later his marriage to goddess Marilyn Monroe. Even in retirement he became the folksy pitchman for Mr. Coffee in the 1970’s & 80’s. But author Richard Ben Cramer lays waste to the DiMaggio mythos and exposes our hero as being yet another very flawed individual (I’m sensing a theme). The DiMaggio we read about here is an often petty, usually vain, sometimes bitter, frequently materialistic, largely unhappy man with an overinflated ego and a suspicious nature that had a negative impact on most of his personal relationships. The Hero’s Life is a stark reminder that just because someone can run fast, hit hard, or handle a ball with deft skill doesn’t mean they are a nice person. I suppose with guys like Barry Bonds, Lance Armstrong, Kobe Bryant, & Alex Rodriguez around we are all well aware of that fact, but it is interesting to realize that such phonies have been around for many many decades and fascinating to compare & contrast how joe-dimaggiotechnology doesn’t allow such individuals to hide their hypocrisy too well these days, whereas in DiMaggio’s time he & a complicit media were quite successful in creating a graceful, classy, refined image. Some may think Cramer’s book to be harsh or even malicious, but I generally found it to be insightful & fair. It is most definitely a page turner and a must read for every baseball fan.

Trayvon Martin & George Zimmerman – My Two Cents

I have been making a concerted effort in 2013 to be less reactionary and thus far I feel as though I have been mostly successful. It is primarily for that reason that I have not scalesweighed in on the George Zimmerman murder trial in the shooting of Florida teen Trayvon Martin. However, now that a verdict has been handed down and all the nutjobs on both sides (okay…most of them are on one particular side) have spouted their venom the time has come for me to offer a sensible, thoughtful, reasonably intelligent commentary on the matter.

We must establish first a premise that I think most rational people can agree with…that there are no winners in all of this. A 17 year old kid is dead. The life of the 28 year old man who pulled the trigger has been irrevocably altered. It is an undeniable tragedy all the way around.

lazyI do not normally follow such stories and this case is no exception. Life is hard and it is short. I prefer to grab happiness wherever I can (within acceptable legal & moral limits of course), so I tend to lean toward more…pleasurable…amusement than a sensationalistic criminal trial that has become a political football. I had enough of all that during the infamous OJ Simpson situation in the mid-1990’s. Soap operas, baseball games, & pro wrestling may not be the most enriching way to be entertained, but I find that it beats the heck out of wallowing in the real life misery of others. However, this particular case was difficult to completely escape.

Though I toyed with the idea of attending law school in my younger years I never followed thru so I am not a legal expert. However, from what I do know about the law and about this case it seems like the jury came to the correct conclusion. Zimmerman acted in self-defense. But you & I both know that there are few things in life that are cut & dried, slam dunk, or…dare I say…black & white. One’s opinion about this situation likely comes down to what you believe about the two parties involved.

The prosecution tried to paint Martin as an innocent young boy who was just trying to take his Skittles and go home. They attempted to portray Zimmerman as a dirty racist cop wannabe who racially profiled the young lad, picked a fight with him, and didn’t hesitate to murder him in cold blood.

The defense wanted the jury to believe that Martin was a young thug who was up to no good and viciously attacked Zimmerman, a solid citizen who was trying to serve his community by being a part of the neighborhood watch program and who had to shoot the punk to save his own life.

As usual I think the truth is somewhere in the middle. There is ample evidence to suggest that Trayvon Martin was far from an innocent child. Like so many modern youths it gangsta-thumb-250x250appears that Martin was a young man who tried hard to be cool by being “gangsta”. There are photographs of him smoking marijuana and brandishing weapons. He had been suspended from school multiple times, although it was for things like truancy and graffiti…nothing violent. Does any of that mean that he deserved to die?? Of course not. However, it is a valuable lesson on the power of perception and the importance of presenting oneself in a respectable way. The jury obviously believed that Martin was…to some degree…what my grandparents might call a hoodlum or a hooligan.

Barney_FifeI do not believe that George Zimmerman was looking for a fight or simply went after Martin because he was black. However, I do think that Zimmerman was…overzealous. I’ve never been involved in a neighborhood watch program and know nothing about them, but I find it difficult to fathom that carrying a gun is normal protocol. Obviously the 2nd Amendment guarantees one the freedom to own a gun (for now) and after clearing certain hurdles and fulfilling legal requirements one can carry a firearm, but I am guessing that the typical neighborhood watch procedure is to notify law enforcement when you spot trouble and not try to handle the situation on your own. Zimmerman did call the cops, but he also followed Martin, which was a huge mistake.

We know that there was a fight. Either Zimmerman decided to not wait for the police and went after Martin, or Martin spotted Zimmerman trailing him and initiated the confrontation. I believe it was the latter and so did the jury. The question then becomes this…if you get into a fight and someone is on top of you bashing your head against the concrete what would you do?? It is fairly obvious to me that the survival instinct would kick in and most people would do whatever is necessary to save their own skin. George Zimmerman happened to have a gun. He used it. He didn’t take a second to try to shoot the kid’s foot or analyze that his attacker was black…he just reacted.

So while it is true that it is a situation that George Zimmerman probably should have never found himself in in the first place, it is equally true that once in over his head he fightreacted like most anyone probably would react. The more interesting question to me is why Trayvon Martin reacted the way he did and whether or not it was the right way to act. I don’t know the right answer to that. I can understand being scared, angry, or both if you discover that someone is following you. But it seems to me that a wise course of action is to simply stop, turn around, and ask your follower what his problem is and why he is following you. Maybe I am naïve. I have never been in a fistfight and would seek to do anything I could to avoid one. There are some folks though that throw down first and ask questions later. My perception is that that is what occurred here, and sadly it cost Trayvon Martin his life.

691CF-jail-birdAfter it was all said & done and in the hands of a jury there arose another interesting dilemma. The jury was presented with three options. Either George Zimmerman was not guilty, guilty of murder, or guilty of manslaughter. There was enough reasonable doubt…about a lot of things…that no jury was going to send Zimmerman to prison for life for defending himself. However, the fact is that a young man was dead. He was shot and George Zimmerman pulled the trigger. That fact alone…regardless of the circumstances…lends itself to the idea that some kind of price needs to be paid. The problem?? In the state of Florida a conviction for manslaughter carries a mandatory minimum sentence of 20 years. That too seemed like far too harsh of a punishment in this particular circumstance. I sincerely believe that if the prosecutor would have went for a charge of aggravated assault, which carries a minimum sentence of 3 years, that George Zimmerman may very well have been convicted. However, left with only the two harsher options the jury found the defendant not guilty.

The question then becomes why did the prosecutor roll the dice on a long shot murder charge instead of playing the safer odds and securing a conviction on a much lesser charge. Was it arrogance?? Stupidity?? Political pressure?? My guess is a combination of all those and more.

And now the trial is over and the reaction has been predictable. Conservatives, who in my experience try to be color blind, examine the facts, and have tremendous respect for the rule of law see the logic & wisdom in the decision but understand why supporters of the Martin family may feel cheated out of some measure of justice. Liberals, who tend to be ruled by their emotions and are generally the true racists in America, are outraged, ready to protest, and are calling for the death of George Zimmerman.

As I said, there are no winners here. Trayvon Martin is dead. His family will deal with the pain of that loss for the rest of their lives. George Zimmerman may not be going to an lazy2actual prison, but he’ll never be truly free for the rest of his life and must deal with the fact that…regardless of the circumstances…he killed a person. And as far as anyone else’s feelings or opinions…who cares?? Now let me get back to my ESPN and pro wrestling.

Winning & Musing…..Volume 7.13

And we’re back!! After a brief summer “vacation” (during which I have traveled absolutely nowhere) the urge to write is back. There are a lot of things on the docket, but I’ll get back into the swing of things with some thoughts on sports that I have been pondering. In today’s exciting episode I begrudgingly say nice things about people I usually don’t say nice things about, put a bow on two major sports seasons, and pontificate about whatever else pops into my scattered brain. Join me…you know you want to.

 

 

 

Contrary to the mantra that ESPN likes to perpetuate I have not nor will I ever forget Lebron LeBron Heat 6James’ “Decision” debacle. He will always reside in my own personal pantheon of sports figures I love to hate, alongside guys like Kobe Bryant, Ron Artest, Tom Brady, Jeff Gordon, anyone associated with the New York Yankees, and pretty much the entire SEC. James sold out his own hometown in just about the worst way possible, all in the name of riches in the form of NBA titles. He’s got two of them now, but I still don’t know how he sleeps at night. Yeah yeah yeah…probably quite comfortably, possibly rolling around in a bed full of cash.

 

tebowpatsillusI sincerely don’t have any problem with the New England Patriots signing Tim Tebow. Neither party has anything to lose, and if there is any evil genius in the universe who can figure out a way to successfully utilize Tebow’s unique skill set in the NFL it’s Bill Belichick. However, I would be shocked if the role that Tebow fills is that of primary backup quarterback.

 

Kudos to the Boston Celtics for hiring the much heralded Brad Stevens as  celticstheir next head coach. There is a tremendous possibility that Stevens will fail spectacularly and end up back in college within a few years, but even then he’d likely end up at a big time school like Indiana, Duke (Coach K is 66 years old), or some other program much higher on the food chain than Butler. However, I think it is just as possible that Stevens will be a solid NBA head coach that leads the Celtics back to the top of the ladder someday. I happen to believe that they ended up with the better end of the bargain in the trade that sent Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, & Jason Terry (all 35 years of age or older) to the Brooklyn Nets in exchange for three 1st round draft picks in the next five years. The Nets’ wacky Russian owner obviously wants to win right now, and that plan might work. But in 2 or 3 years it’ll be the Celtics who’ll be sitting pretty and building another great team ready to compete for championships for another decade. Will Brad Stevens be along for the ride when that happens?? I think he just might.

 

hockey_stick_and_a_puckCongratulations to the Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks. I actually watched a bit of the NHL playoffs and find myself not being as ambivalent toward hockey as I was not all that long ago. Maybe they’ll actually succeed in making me a fan…someday.

 

I actually watched some of the matches at Wimbledon too. Hockey Head-Scratcherand tennis?? What is happening to me?!?!??

 

My Pittsburgh Pirates will either be tied for first place or one game behind the St. Louis Cardinals at the All Star break, yet I am finding it difficult to really believe. After two decades of losing I suffer from a major case of battered fan syndrome. The past two seasons as a matter of fact have seen the Buccos looking good at the halfway point only to crash & burn in ppiratesthe second half of the season. A friend of mind asked me if I was jumping off the bandwagon after a recent 4 game swoon, but the truth is that I haven’t really been on any bandwagon. My heart has been broken too many times…often before summer has even officially begun. But the swan dive is even more painful when it comes later in the season. I am like a person who has been in a string of bad relationships and eventually closes themselves off to the possibility of love as a defense mechanism to prevent any further heartbreak. I want to love the Pirates again, but I am just so tired of being disappointed, and from an objective point of view they really do have some weaknesses. The pitching staff is solid, but they can’t win games when their own team doesn’t score. The Pirates are scoring 3.87 runs per game (25th in MLB) and have a team batting average of .243 (.230 with runners in scoring position). That isn’t going to cut it folks. Outside of Pedro Alvarez (.314 with 24 home runs) no one on the team seems to know how to manufacture runs. When that changes then I will start to believe.

 

I can’t believe I defended the evil New England Patriots even once, but now I’m going to do New_England_Patriots_Helmetit again. It is not the team’s fault that TE Aaron Hernandez turned out to be a wackjob (possibly even a serial killer). Yes there was ample evidence going clear back to his University of Florida days that he was a thug, but let’s be honest…that could be said about half of the NFL. The fact is that Hernandez is a freakishly talented athlete and he was a steal for the Patriots in the 4th round of the 2010 NFL Draft. And let’s give the suits in New England credit for cutting ties with Hernandez just minutes after he was arrested.

 

howardOh dear Lord am I ever sick & tired of hearing about Dwight Howard. To me he is an overgrown child who hasn’t and may never live up to his potential. That having been said, I think he made the right decision to shun the Los Angeles Lakers in favor of the Houston Rockets. The Lakers are too wrapped up in their history & their brand and seem oblivious to the fact that they aren’t the Showtime team of the 1980’s any longer. They are an old team that needs a major overhaul, with a coach who is too stubborn to change his system to fit the talent he’s got and an owner who seems to be in way over his head. Not only are the Lakers not anywhere near an elite NBA team at the moment, but they aren’t even the best team in Los Angeles. Conversely the Rockets are a team on the rise. I have my doubts as to whether Dwight Howard is the piece of the puzzle who will put them over the top, but on paper it is a marriage that makes a lot of sense right now.

Points of Ponderation…..Episode 8.13

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

 

 

 

Let me be clear. No intelligent, sane person would advocate racism. It was wrong 200 years ago when slavery was in full force, it was wrong a half century ago when public establishments had separate restrooms for blacks & whites, and it is wrong in 2013. However, having said that, I must admit that I am troubled by the brutal precision & rapidity of the destruction of TV chef Paula Deen. It’s almost like witnessing a mafia hit right before our very eyes. It is quite possible that I have missed something because admittedly I have not pored over each & every story written or broadcast about the controversy. If that is the case please utilize the comments section to correct any assumptions I have made in error. My understanding is that Ms. Deen admitted in a deposition that she has, in the past, used “racially insensitive language”, i.e. the dreaded “N word”. I think what needs clarified that hasn’t been…atleast not to my satisfaction…is the timeline & frequency pauladeenof use. Did she used to use that type of language 30 or 40 years ago as a young person?? If so I hardly find it surprising given that Paula Deen was raised in the deep south in the 50’s & 60’s. Has it been a regular part of her vocabulary and frame of mind more recently?? If that is the case then the reaction becomes a bit more understandable. If it is the former then the swift destruction of her public persona and professional life is extremely disconcerting. I would hate to think that my life could be wrecked tomorrow because of the stupid things I may have said or done two or three decades ago. If it is the latter and Paula Deen really is a racist then how in the world has it been a secret for this long?? There are a lot of unknowns about all of this, but no one seems willing to take a deep breath, step back for a moment, and find out answers. In less than a week Paula Deen has been almost completely ruined. Maybe it is a well-deserved punishment…but maybe it isn’t. It is entirely possible that Paula Deen is yet another casualty of the merciless PC Police who selectively choose their targets while letting other, far more sinister offenders get away with anything & everything (“Reverends” Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton immediately spring to mind). I don’t know the right answer and we may never know. But even if we do eventually find out that this has all been overblown and exaggerated it’s too late for Paula Deen. Her career is over and she will eventually slip into obscurity like so many public figures that we chew up and spit out when we’ve grown bored with them. All I know is that Deen is being tossed off TV yet those twits at The View all still have jobs, which is wrong no matter how you slice it.

 

I am a proud bookworm with eclectic tastes and an open mind. When people I know & trust mention how good a book is or say that they think I’d really like a certain title or author I am inclined to give it a whirl. However, I also have to be true to myself. I have been in the bookstore at my local mall countless times in the past few months and every time I ponder checking out George RR Martin’s A Song of Ice & Fire series (on which HBO’s booksGame of Thrones is based), but I just can’t seem to convince myself to give it a go. I’m not sure why. I’ve never watched Game of Thrones and feel no inclination to start. Maybe I’ll change my mind in the future…probably after the masses have moved on to something new. I am a non-conformist like that. I have decided though to give author Vince Flynn’s Mitch Rapp series a try based on vociferous praise toward the books by my man Rush Limbaugh over the past several years. Sadly Flynn recently passed on so I am, as usual, late to the party. Along the lines of my aforementioned non-conformity I have also decided to sell my Amazon Kindle. I bought it a few years ago and have hardly ever used the thing. I’m old-fashioned and prefer to read an actual book. I did grab the Kindle and dust it off recently in an effort to give it one more try but I just don’t care for it.

 

I am confused about the Men’s Wearhouse guy. How does one get fired from a company they founded?? That george_zimmer.topseems odd.

 

I promised myself I would refrain from a long diatribe about recent rulings by the U.S. Supreme Court that have forever redefined marriage in our nation and Congress’s decision to essentially legalize illegal immigration. I have been quite proud of myself these past few days for not posting my opinions on Facebook and not engaging in any pointless debates with liberals. I have finally come to understand a couple of things. I realize that nothing positive comes out of such arguments. I gavelunderstand that the America I grew up in is dead & gone and can never come back. I know that I am firmly in the minority on many issues nowadays. But I also…at last…understand the words of Romans 12:2 which implore us “do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God’ and the words of John 17:14-16 which says “I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should jesusweptkeep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.” I owe God an apology. It has taken me far too long to truly grasp the concept. The truth is that I have grown tired of the battle. I no longer wish to engage in a fight I can’t win. So I shall retreat further into my cocoon with my books, my sports, some good food, internet access, God, and of course Rocco. That doesn’t mean I won’t espouse an opinion now & then, but I no longer expect victory in the worldly sense of the word. Congratulations libs…the country is yours now. Do with it what you wish. Just leave me out of it.

 

It may seem unusual but The Lord is telling me to do this. I would like to ask anyone who may be reading this to please be in prayer for your humble Potentate of Profundity. Nothing is wrong and actually I don’t have anything significant to complain about. But it has become clear to me that too much of the time I am not the person God would have me to be. I stumble far too much and don’t live in the Christ-like fashion that I should. I don’t drink, do drugs, or steal, but I believe I stumble in the subtle, stealthy ways Satan is so good at drawing us into. I have spent far too much time wondering why so many others have things that I would like to have…aPraying_Hands wife, kids, a good job that I enjoy, etc…when the answer is quite clear. Luke 16:10-12 says that “He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much, and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much. Therefore if you have not been faithful in the unrighteous wealth who will commit to your trust the true riches?  And if you have not been faithful in what is another man’s, who will give you what is your own?”. In other words, why should God trust me with the things that I wish for when I’ve not been the person He wants me to be?? We don’t have to earn God’s love, but perhaps we do have to earn His trust. I would really love to hear some thoughts & guidance on that idea. At any rate, I do truly desire a fresh start and an opportunity to be a better man today than I was yesterday and still better tomorrow than I have been today. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I suppose I will still make mistakes in the future, but I’d welcome the chance to atleast make new mistakes and not repeat the same dumb errors that I have in the past. I am sure God would welcome a change of pace as well.

So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodnight

The story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello, goodbye.   –              Jimi Hendrix

A buddy of mine used to do something kind of quirky. A group of us would be out & about at a local watering hole and at some point we’d realize that he had just disappeared. He wouldn’t say goodbye and never let anyone know when he was leaving. It was just his thing. I never asked him why.

My sister’s former mother-in-law has a similar habit. If you happen to be talking to her on the phone and the conversation concludes she just hangs up. She doesn’t say goodbye.

Seven years ago on a Saturday in April I went to work at the establishment where I’d been employed for six years. I knew I was sick that day, but what I didn’t know was that when I left I would never be returning. I never got a chance to say goodbye to several people who I’d spent many many hours with and to this day there are lots of them who I’ve never seen again.

Sometimes late at night I look at my Facebook and shed a tear or two. Why?? There are, by my count, five people on my friends list that are no longer with us.

There is Teresa B., who I knew from junior high & high school and also worked with for several years about a decade ago, and Matt G., a guy I worked with back in the mid-90’s. Teresa & I didn’t run in the same circles and she battled things that I can’t relate to, but deep down she was good people.

Matt G. was one of those people one only knows for a very brief moment in time but leaves an indelible impression. He was a class clown type and always made me laugh at work. Both Teresa & Matt were in their 30’s and it makes me sad that they didn’t get to stick around a lot longer.

Johnna H. was a young lady that grew up in my community. She’d come to church occasionally when she was a little girl, and for a couple of years back in the late 90’s she was a member of the youth group that I helped lead. She was merely in her 20’s when she passed, a victim of the same battle that so many young people wage unsuccessfully in this country nowadays.

Last January it was thru Facebook that I learned of the sudden passing of Marc C., who I’d listened to on the radio when I was a little boy when he was a DJ and then had the privilege to talk with occasionally when we worked at the same place about ten years ago. Marc was smart…the kind of guy who would have probably won a ton of cash on Jeopardy. He was also a very talented musician who played trumpet & guitar at various local places. After we both left for greener pastures I’d still bump into him sometimes. Marc was that guy…the type who seems to be everywhere and one never knew when he might pop up and unexpectedly but quite pleasantly improve the day with a brief yet insightful conversation about something marginally esoteric. The realization that I won’t ever have the privilege of learning something from him again leaves me feeling sort of blue and I wish I’d had the opportunity to spend more time with Marc over the years.

And finally there is my friend Wink, who was my minister’s wife and whom I had the pleasure of knowing for two decades. I have often spoke here at The Manofesto about my desire for a genuine Christian experience and my deep longing to be an authentic follower of Christ rather than someone who just attends church. In the course of those laments I may have mentioned that though it may be hard to explain I know what I am looking for because I have seen it. I have been blessed to have been given probably half dozen or so excellent examples of this authenticity, and Wink was one of those. Her loss has been especially difficult because I have seen the effect it has had on our church in general and her loved ones specifically.

At any rate, I still go to all of these Facebook pages occasionally. I don’t know exactly why, and I don’t really enjoy the way it makes me feel, but I still do it.

A few days ago I attended the board of directors meeting of our local literacy organization where we held an election of new officers. The gentleman who has been president for the past 4 years is stepping down, but I had assumed that he would still be serving on the board and attending all of our events. Not so. He said that after 15 years he is going to step away and get into some other pursuits. Obviously he isn’t dead, but it still kind of made me a bit sad knowing that he will no longer be involved & around.

Earlier this week…via the aforementioned Facebook…I learned of the passing of my college pal Emily. Were Emily & I close friends?? Not especially. I hadn’t seen or spoken to her in nearly two decades. But for a short season all those years ago she & I ran in the same circle and did a lot of…socializing…together. I think she may have even once been my date to a fraternity formal (the memories of that time in my life are understandably fuzzy). Emily was tough yet bubbly, street smart yet understatedly sensitive. She was married with a couple of children, had a job she liked as a teacher, and to my understanding was happy. And now she is gone before she even reached the age of 40.

Faithful citizens of the Manoverse will recall that I lost my own mother 13 years ago. I have written previously about how I wish I could have just one more conversation with her and tell her all the things I never took the opportunity to say when she was alive. I don’t remember the last thing I said to my Mom and to this day that fact haunts me more than I can coherently communicate.

In the 1946 classic It’s A Wonderful Life (my all-time favorite Christmas film and #4 on my Favorite Movies List) the angel Clarence Oddbody (AS2) tells George Bailey that “each person’s life touches so many other lives that when they aren’t around it leaves an awful hole”. In 1989’s Field of Dreams (#3 on the Favorite Movies List) Doc Graham laments that “we just don’t recognize the most significant moments of our lives while they’re happening.” I would like to take this opportunity to encourage each of you to try to recognize these moments and understand how people touch your lives and how you play a role in their lives. Take your time. Be generous with hugs & affection. Tell people “thank you”. Always have your camera. Say goodbye or don’t say it…whatever you prefer. Just understand that there is no guarantee that there’ll be a next time. Laugh. Enjoy. Appreciate. Be thankful. We only get one shot at this life.

Scattered Pictures, Misty Water-Colored Memories, & The Corners of My Mind

clutter2My Dad is a quietly awesome dude who rarely asks me for anything. He’s definitely more of a giver than a taker…something of which this world needs much more. At any rate, on the rare occasions when Dad does ask for a favor I feel compelled to oblige. And so it was this past weekend when he asked me for something that I was pretty sure I had…I just didn’t know where.

It is at this point that I must clarify my living situation. Citizens of the Manoverse know that I refer to my place as The Bachelor Palace, but in truth it is a modest one bedroom apartment. It is nothing fancy but it’s all I really need for now and has worked out well for over a decade. Anyway, one would think that I’d be able to find just about anything I needed to get my hands on in such a humble abode. That assumption would be wrong.

Unfortunately for my Dad I did not find the item he was seeking, but I did find a variety of other things:

 

A Shaquille O’Neal rookie card and two Michael Jordan baseball cards. Kids under the age of 18 might not know that retired NBA legend Jordan once played baseball for a year. He wasn’t that good and never made it to the big leagues so his cards are minor league Birmingham Barons cards. I was really excited and thought I might be able to retire after selling these cards…especially the Shaq rookie. But after checking EBay and seeing that they were going for less than $5 I need to revise that plan.

A handful of coupons from Bob Evans. Coupons can come in handy on occasion and I am not above using them. Unfortunately these particular coupons expired in 2010. My father suggested I still try to use them, but that’s not how I roll.

A floppy disk. I know what’s on the disk and it’s not something I feel compelled to share. I just think it’s funny that I still own a floppy disk.

Tickets to the Argosy Riverboat Casino in Indiana. This is where myself and my buddy Ryan took my bestie Greg for his bachelor party…11 years ago. It was lots of fun. We rented a limo and everything.

Two random chargers. I have no idea what they are supposed to charge.

My Dad’s will. Dad isn’t especially morose…just prepared. I also have the combination to his safe. And no…neither of these items were what he was seeking.

A completed word find book that kept me lots of company when I was locked up in a “skilled” nursing facility in 2006.

Two sets of darts in a very nice carrying case. I bought these in college…20 years ago. I have a dartboard in my apartment but can’t remember the last time I actually played.

A really nice pool stick that I’ve had since college.

Photos of a tent revival we had at church…during the Clinton Administration.

A rewriteable CD with a copy of Microsoft Office…2003.

Several instruction manuals for products that I no longer own.

A plethora of batteries…C, D, AAA…all the ones a person never really needs for anything.

My living will & medical power of attorney. Atleast I found something that might come in handy one day. Although I really hope it doesn’t.

A 2005 Daily Planner. Since I lead whatever the direct opposite is of an exciting life I used my planner as more of a diary, and a quick review of my entries strongly suggests that I deeply hated my job and more than a few of my co-workers back then.

Tickets to The Living Word Outdoor Drama. If you’ve never been to The Living Word I highly recommend it. It’s in Cambridge, OH and they present it every weekend throughout the summer. My tickets indicate that I attended in 2001.

 

So now my bedroom is cluttered with a bunch of stuff that I need to either throw away or put back in drawers to be clutter3rediscovered in another decade or two. Just imagine how much odd junk I’d have if I lived in a house.

 

Inside the Blogger’s Studio

jameslipton1Greetings Manoverse. I am James Lipton. Today it is my distinct pleasure to tip-toe outside the realm of acting & actors to speak with a man who has not conquered stage & screen but has…for the past four years…taken cyberspace by storm. He has created an intellectual cornucopia of faith, literature, pop culture, sports, and…in his words…”random thoughts, observations, and commentary on life”. In the past two decades I have had the immense delight of conversing with true giants in their field…DeNiro, Pacino, Eastwood, Costner, Coppola, Streisand, Hackman, Hanks, Minnelli, Midler, Spielberg, and Queen Latifah. And it has been my distinct privilege to spotlight young up-and-comers like the young man from Harry Potter, those kids from Glee, the gal whose career peaked with Jerry Maguire, and the well endowed red headed lass from Mad Men. But they all pale in comparison to a man so wise, so gifted, so inimitable in his linguistic prowess that he is not known by a simple, ordinary, pedestrian name but rather by a grandiose title that he alone richly deserves. Please give a warm welcome to the supreme leader of The Manoverse, the Godfather of Cyberspace…your humble Potentate of Profundity.

Thank you James. I truly do not deserve such an extravagant introduction. I’m a little embarrassed.

Let us begin at the beginning. Where were you were born??

I was born & bred in a little town called Mount Clare, West Virginia.

Delightful!How big is the mountain and when did you first climb it??

Well…there’s not actually a mountain…just a lot of hills.

What is spina bifida??

Simply put it is a hole in the spine. It means that my legs can’t receive the message from my brain allowing me to walk.

Share with us your first intimate experience with a woman.

Ummm…no.

You often reference a talking bird called The Owl in The Manofesto.

He’s not a bird. The Owl is a real person named James as well. We became friends in college. The Blue Owl is a nickname.

In 2009 you started The Manofesto as it is currently known. Where did the name come from??

I love puns and plays on words, so the name comes from the term manifesto except I utilize my own last name.

Brilliant!! Who is Rocco Tiberius Mano??

Rocco is my 5 year old pug.

Does Rocco enjoy The Manofesto??

I’d like to think that he would. But then again sometimes I think he gets mad when I am writing instead of playing with him.

You are one of only 8 people on Earth that actually liked the 1994 Christmas film Trapped in Paradise. Why??

I don’t know. I realize it’s not a good movie. Lovitz is annoying and Dana Carvey adopted a horrible New York accent for his role. But it is a Christmas movie and I love Christmas movies.

It’s 2am. Your house is on fire. You have exactly three minutes to save 5 things. Name them.

I get to save 5 things?? I’m not sure I have that many things worth rescuing. My dog Rocco would obviously be first on the list. Then I’d grab all my photos of my family. My laptop. I’d pack a box full of as many books as I could. Oh…and my phone.

You once owned an N’Sync CD. What kind of mental illness were you suffering from at the time??

Actually I might still have that CD.

Can you sing a few lines from Bye Bye Bye??

No.

Is it true that you have an irrational dislike of the number 3??

And its multiples. Yes.

That is indeed strange.

Yes…yes it is.

How did you get started in blogging??

Well…it was 2007. I was in the hospital with an ulcer on my tailbone and my friend Slack suggested I open a MySpace page. It had a blogging feature. I had always enjoyed writing and had an ample amount of free time. I did the MySpace thing for awhile but eventually my friend The Owl…

Who you say is a real person??

Yes. Yes he is. Anyway…

Do you have a scar on your buttocks??

Yes.

May I see it??

No.

Okay so you were saying…

Yes. So I was pondering taking the blog to the next step by leaving MySpace, which had been kind of usurped by Facebook, and putting it on its own domain, and The Owl…

Who is one of your fraternity brothers??

Yes.

Which fraternity??

Alpha Sigma Phi. Beta Delta Chapter at Marshall University in Huntington, WV.

I understand that you once drank an entire bottle of Jim Beam at a party??

Yes.

And you once went streaking down 4th Avenue in Huntington at 4am??

Oh my God. How do you know these things??

I know everything.

I guess you do!!

I wish we had more time.

Me too. This was…interesting.

We will wrap up the festivities with the famous questionnaire by the formidable Bernard Pivot.

What is your favorite word?

Plethora. Facetious. Poppycock. Superfluous. Tranquility.

What is your least favorite word?

Handicapable. Differently abled. Any kind of politically correct euphemism. Let’s just call it what it is. I am not easily offended.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Laughter. Intelligence. A good book. Jesus Christ.

What turns you off?

Arrogance. Stupidity.

What sound or noise do you love?

The sounds of my puppy breathing, snoring, & sighing…as if he is content & happy.

What sound or noise do you hate?

Children crying or screaming.

What is your favorite curse word?

Assclown.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Writer. Commissioner of the NFL or MLB. Movie Critic.

What profession would you not like to do?

Anything related to the medical field. I’ve spent far too much time in hospitals and near doctors. I avoid it if I can.

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

“Well done good & faithful servant. Enter in.”

Heroes & Heels…..May 2013

May hasn’t been a particularly productive month here at The Manofesto. Just another one of my infamous funks. But atleast I am bringing you this edition of H&H on time for once!! We shall see what we can do to get June off to a rousing start, but in the meantime, as always these are the individuals & entities from the past month that I feel deserve my particular brand of praise or scorn. Please enjoy, and stay tuned for some fun & interesting things coming to The Manoverse!!

 

 

 

 

Dan Lebatard

NBA star Lebron James celebrated the first week of May by receiving his 4th League MVP award. King James received 120 of 121 votes, so even with the tremendous honor being bestowed a firestorm quickly developed aimed straight at the lone rebel who denied James a unanimous vote. Somehow a rumor blew up that Lebatard, a sportswriter for the Miami Herald and host of ESPN’s Dan Lebatard is Thumbs_upHighly Questionable, was the person who cast his vote for Carmelo Anthony instead of James. How did Dan react?? Perfectly in my opinion. He did not deny the rumor and instead chose to simply retweet all the hilariously sad vitriol hurled his way on Twitter. Anyone who follows his feed was entertained for hours by the total overreaction of overzealous Miami Heat fans. It turns out that the Anthony vote was courtesy of a sportswriter in Boston and that Lebatard doesn’t even have an MVP vote. Kudos to Dan Lebatard for hysterically playing the masses for the fools that they too often are and getting himself some free publicity without ever saying a word. Well played sir…well played.

 

Jay Mohr

Another day, another out-of-touch Hollywood liberal. As long as these idiots are around I’ll always have fodder for H&H. Mohr…a moderately successful comedian & actor with a smokin’ hot wife…tweeted after the Boston marathon bombings (a tragedy that, frowny-faceironically enough, didn’t even involve guns) that “the 2nd Amendment must go”.  I am a solutions oriented guy, so let me offer an olive branch to Mohr & his ilk. We conservatives may possibly be more open to new stricter gun laws IF you and your friends are willing to get Roe vs. Wade overturned. Gun violence kills about 30,000 Americans each year. Abortion kills over 1.2 million babies annually. Checkmate assclown.

 

Homer Hickam

Hickam is a West Virginia native and an actual rocket scientist. He is also an author, best known for his 1998 autobiographical tome Rocket Boys, which was developed into the 1999 film October Sky starring Jake Gyllenhaal. A few weeks ago he stepped in to offer support to 16 year old Keira Wilmot, a Florida high school student who had been suspended and arrested after a science experiment Thumbs_upcaused a small explosion at school. No one was hurt and no damage was done, but we live in a PC “no tolerance” society in 21st century New America, and the young woman’s intellectual curiosity and willingness to take a chance in the name of science was obviously frowned upon by the “education” establishment. Enter Homer Hickam, who not only applauded Wilmot’s efforts but rewarded her with a scholarship to the United States Advanced Space Academy in Huntsville, Alabama. USASA “offers a college-accredited program through the University of Alabama in Huntsville that includes STEM education plus college and career preparation”, and I think it is safe to say that this young lady will learn more in her brief time at Space Camp than she ever has during her years being indoctrinated in public school.

 

IRS

The Internal Revenue Service has long been regarded as one of the more evil entities of the overinflated United States Government. No frowny-faceone enjoys paying taxes, especially when the funds are increasingly utilized to support social programs that allow lazy bums to enjoy the fruits of the labors of those who do work for a living. It has recently come to light that during the past few years (i.e. during the Hussein Obama era) the IRS has purposely derailed the applications of conservative groups seeking tax exempt status. If such a thing would have happened during a Republican presidency that President would have already been impeached, but for obvious reasons Mr. Obama is more Teflon that John Gotti ever was.

 

Charles Ramsey

On May 6 three young women…Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michele Knight…who had all been missing for about a decade…wereThumbs_up able to escape their captor with help from Ramsey. He was just enjoying a Big Mac in his Cleveland, OH neighborhood when he heard screaming and assisted the young ladies and called 911. I wonder how many other people would have simply walked away and chose not to get involved.

 

Jodi Arias

I don’t follow these criminal trials that the media selectively chooses to sensationalize, and this one was no frowny-faceexception. But one couldn’t help but hear a little about this case in recent weeks. Arias is a 32 year old Arizona woman that was convicted of murdering her ex-boyfriend. She tried to claim self-defense, but the fact that the guy was stabbed 29 times, his throat was slit, and he was shot in the head betrayed that theory. Sometimes I’m really glad to be single.

 

Tiger Woods & Sergio Garcia

Two of professional golf’s brightest stars apparently don’t like each other. I don’t know why and I don’t care. All I know is that it frowny-facebecame a story a few weeks ago and both parties came across like petulant children. Shut up and hit your little white ball into the hole.

 

Ed Buckner

Buckner is a well-known atheist, which is his right as an American. But like so many atheists Mr. Buckner doesn’t seem to grasp the actual meaning of our Constitution. He whined like a little girl when he found a Bible in his cabin at a state park in Georgia. The Georgia DNR removed the Bibles from the park but soon thereafter they were put back on orders from Governor Nathan Deal. An frowny-faceorganization called the Freedom from Religion Foundation got involved, and that tells us all we need to know. Why?? Well, because The Constitution of the United States guarantees all Americans freedom OF religion…not freedom FROM religion. I’m sick to death of atheists & liberals who don’t understand the difference. Specifically the First Amendment states that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” So unless the government tries to institute a national religion then no one has anything legitimate to get all worked up about. Here’s an idea Mr. Buckner…if you see a Bible and it offends you leave it in a drawer and don’t read it!!

 

Prospect Park

Yes I’m a soap opera fan. My sister and I had a babysitter who got us interested in Days of Our Lives and General Hospital when we were in grade school and we’ve both watched for over 30 years. Over time I became a fan of a few other shows as well. In 2012 one of those shows, One Life to Live, was cancelled by ABC. Prospect Park, a Hollywood production company, snapped up the rights for OLTL (as well as All My Children…which I never watched) and announced plans to show it online. The plans seemingly fell thru and three of frowny-faceOLTL’s more popular actors brought their characters to General Hospital. A year later Prospect Park renewed their plans and sued ABC over GH using the OLTL characters, forcing GH to write out those characters and clumsily bring back the actors as whole new characters. Then, a month after OLTL and AMC were relaunched on The Internet for four shows per week Monday-Thursday Prospect Park announced that they were cutting back and each show would only be on 2 days per week each. They spewed forth some sort of poppycock about viewing patterns or something. It was all total BS and a vague attempt to force viewers of one show or the other to watch both shows. I don’t know what kind of substandard incompetent organization Prospect Park is, but their actions have been total bush league and this humble Potentate of Profundity is now a former OLTL viewer as a result of the whole mess.

 

Kylie Bisutti

Ms. Bisutti is a former Victoria’s Secret model who gave it all up for The Lord. She decided that her job conflicted with her beliefs and Thumbs_upchose her faith over money & fame, saying that her body is a sacred temple and should only be be…ummm…enjoyed…by her husband. She further concluded that lingerie models are not good role models for young girls and that they lead men into temptation (ain’t that the truth). Kudos to Ms. Bisutti for walking away from the kind of life that the world promotes as a dream come true and not allowing herself to be “conformed to this world” but instead being “transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

 

Bette Midler

Yet another out-of-touch celebrity. While yours truly thinks imprisonment and impeachment should be the result frowny-faceof the IRS’s appalling breach of the public trust “The Divine Miss M” actually thanked them, saying she loves the IRS for targeting The Tea Party and other conservative groups. What can possibly be said about that level of stupidity?? There aren’t words.

 

The Indy 500

By most accounts the 2013 Indianapolis 500 was a rousing success. At 2 hours 40 minutes it was the fastest one ever. There were a record 68 lead changes…doubling the old record…and 14 different leaders (another record). More cars stayed in the race and on the lead lap than ever before, mostly due to the fact that there were fewer laps run under caution than ever before. However, all this frowny-faceexcitement led to a yellow flag finish that was anticlimactic and a complete dud. Hardcore Indy car fans seemed jazzed about winner Tony Kanaan finally capturing the Borg-Warner Trophy after a dozen previous tries, but just because the winner is a nice guy doesn’t mean the result is anything to be applauded. I am not an engineer nor a ‘car guy’, but I am aware that there are safety concerns in regard to open wheel racing trying a green-white-checkered finish like NASCAR. However, these are smart people and I am quite positive they could figure something out. I am sure Kanaan is enjoying the spoils of war, but I don’t understand how it could feel like anything more than an empty victory.