Scattered Pictures, Misty Water-Colored Memories, & The Corners of My Mind

clutter2My Dad is a quietly awesome dude who rarely asks me for anything. He’s definitely more of a giver than a taker…something of which this world needs much more. At any rate, on the rare occasions when Dad does ask for a favor I feel compelled to oblige. And so it was this past weekend when he asked me for something that I was pretty sure I had…I just didn’t know where.

It is at this point that I must clarify my living situation. Citizens of the Manoverse know that I refer to my place as The Bachelor Palace, but in truth it is a modest one bedroom apartment. It is nothing fancy but it’s all I really need for now and has worked out well for over a decade. Anyway, one would think that I’d be able to find just about anything I needed to get my hands on in such a humble abode. That assumption would be wrong.

Unfortunately for my Dad I did not find the item he was seeking, but I did find a variety of other things:


A Shaquille O’Neal rookie card and two Michael Jordan baseball cards. Kids under the age of 18 might not know that retired NBA legend Jordan once played baseball for a year. He wasn’t that good and never made it to the big leagues so his cards are minor league Birmingham Barons cards. I was really excited and thought I might be able to retire after selling these cards…especially the Shaq rookie. But after checking EBay and seeing that they were going for less than $5 I need to revise that plan.

A handful of coupons from Bob Evans. Coupons can come in handy on occasion and I am not above using them. Unfortunately these particular coupons expired in 2010. My father suggested I still try to use them, but that’s not how I roll.

A floppy disk. I know what’s on the disk and it’s not something I feel compelled to share. I just think it’s funny that I still own a floppy disk.

Tickets to the Argosy Riverboat Casino in Indiana. This is where myself and my buddy Ryan took my bestie Greg for his bachelor party…11 years ago. It was lots of fun. We rented a limo and everything.

Two random chargers. I have no idea what they are supposed to charge.

My Dad’s will. Dad isn’t especially morose…just prepared. I also have the combination to his safe. And no…neither of these items were what he was seeking.

A completed word find book that kept me lots of company when I was locked up in a “skilled” nursing facility in 2006.

Two sets of darts in a very nice carrying case. I bought these in college…20 years ago. I have a dartboard in my apartment but can’t remember the last time I actually played.

A really nice pool stick that I’ve had since college.

Photos of a tent revival we had at church…during the Clinton Administration.

A rewriteable CD with a copy of Microsoft Office…2003.

Several instruction manuals for products that I no longer own.

A plethora of batteries…C, D, AAA…all the ones a person never really needs for anything.

My living will & medical power of attorney. Atleast I found something that might come in handy one day. Although I really hope it doesn’t.

A 2005 Daily Planner. Since I lead whatever the direct opposite is of an exciting life I used my planner as more of a diary, and a quick review of my entries strongly suggests that I deeply hated my job and more than a few of my co-workers back then.

Tickets to The Living Word Outdoor Drama. If you’ve never been to The Living Word I highly recommend it. It’s in Cambridge, OH and they present it every weekend throughout the summer. My tickets indicate that I attended in 2001.


So now my bedroom is cluttered with a bunch of stuff that I need to either throw away or put back in drawers to be clutter3rediscovered in another decade or two. Just imagine how much odd junk I’d have if I lived in a house.


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