Tim Tebow

Winning & Musing…..Volume 7.13

And we’re back!! After a brief summer “vacation” (during which I have traveled absolutely nowhere) the urge to write is back. There are a lot of things on the docket, but I’ll get back into the swing of things with some thoughts on sports that I have been pondering. In today’s exciting episode I begrudgingly say nice things about people I usually don’t say nice things about, put a bow on two major sports seasons, and pontificate about whatever else pops into my scattered brain. Join me…you know you want to.

 

 

 

Contrary to the mantra that ESPN likes to perpetuate I have not nor will I ever forget Lebron LeBron Heat 6James’ “Decision” debacle. He will always reside in my own personal pantheon of sports figures I love to hate, alongside guys like Kobe Bryant, Ron Artest, Tom Brady, Jeff Gordon, anyone associated with the New York Yankees, and pretty much the entire SEC. James sold out his own hometown in just about the worst way possible, all in the name of riches in the form of NBA titles. He’s got two of them now, but I still don’t know how he sleeps at night. Yeah yeah yeah…probably quite comfortably, possibly rolling around in a bed full of cash.

 

tebowpatsillusI sincerely don’t have any problem with the New England Patriots signing Tim Tebow. Neither party has anything to lose, and if there is any evil genius in the universe who can figure out a way to successfully utilize Tebow’s unique skill set in the NFL it’s Bill Belichick. However, I would be shocked if the role that Tebow fills is that of primary backup quarterback.

 

Kudos to the Boston Celtics for hiring the much heralded Brad Stevens as  celticstheir next head coach. There is a tremendous possibility that Stevens will fail spectacularly and end up back in college within a few years, but even then he’d likely end up at a big time school like Indiana, Duke (Coach K is 66 years old), or some other program much higher on the food chain than Butler. However, I think it is just as possible that Stevens will be a solid NBA head coach that leads the Celtics back to the top of the ladder someday. I happen to believe that they ended up with the better end of the bargain in the trade that sent Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, & Jason Terry (all 35 years of age or older) to the Brooklyn Nets in exchange for three 1st round draft picks in the next five years. The Nets’ wacky Russian owner obviously wants to win right now, and that plan might work. But in 2 or 3 years it’ll be the Celtics who’ll be sitting pretty and building another great team ready to compete for championships for another decade. Will Brad Stevens be along for the ride when that happens?? I think he just might.

 

hockey_stick_and_a_puckCongratulations to the Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks. I actually watched a bit of the NHL playoffs and find myself not being as ambivalent toward hockey as I was not all that long ago. Maybe they’ll actually succeed in making me a fan…someday.

 

I actually watched some of the matches at Wimbledon too. Hockey Head-Scratcherand tennis?? What is happening to me?!?!??

 

My Pittsburgh Pirates will either be tied for first place or one game behind the St. Louis Cardinals at the All Star break, yet I am finding it difficult to really believe. After two decades of losing I suffer from a major case of battered fan syndrome. The past two seasons as a matter of fact have seen the Buccos looking good at the halfway point only to crash & burn in ppiratesthe second half of the season. A friend of mind asked me if I was jumping off the bandwagon after a recent 4 game swoon, but the truth is that I haven’t really been on any bandwagon. My heart has been broken too many times…often before summer has even officially begun. But the swan dive is even more painful when it comes later in the season. I am like a person who has been in a string of bad relationships and eventually closes themselves off to the possibility of love as a defense mechanism to prevent any further heartbreak. I want to love the Pirates again, but I am just so tired of being disappointed, and from an objective point of view they really do have some weaknesses. The pitching staff is solid, but they can’t win games when their own team doesn’t score. The Pirates are scoring 3.87 runs per game (25th in MLB) and have a team batting average of .243 (.230 with runners in scoring position). That isn’t going to cut it folks. Outside of Pedro Alvarez (.314 with 24 home runs) no one on the team seems to know how to manufacture runs. When that changes then I will start to believe.

 

I can’t believe I defended the evil New England Patriots even once, but now I’m going to do New_England_Patriots_Helmetit again. It is not the team’s fault that TE Aaron Hernandez turned out to be a wackjob (possibly even a serial killer). Yes there was ample evidence going clear back to his University of Florida days that he was a thug, but let’s be honest…that could be said about half of the NFL. The fact is that Hernandez is a freakishly talented athlete and he was a steal for the Patriots in the 4th round of the 2010 NFL Draft. And let’s give the suits in New England credit for cutting ties with Hernandez just minutes after he was arrested.

 

howardOh dear Lord am I ever sick & tired of hearing about Dwight Howard. To me he is an overgrown child who hasn’t and may never live up to his potential. That having been said, I think he made the right decision to shun the Los Angeles Lakers in favor of the Houston Rockets. The Lakers are too wrapped up in their history & their brand and seem oblivious to the fact that they aren’t the Showtime team of the 1980’s any longer. They are an old team that needs a major overhaul, with a coach who is too stubborn to change his system to fit the talent he’s got and an owner who seems to be in way over his head. Not only are the Lakers not anywhere near an elite NBA team at the moment, but they aren’t even the best team in Los Angeles. Conversely the Rockets are a team on the rise. I have my doubts as to whether Dwight Howard is the piece of the puzzle who will put them over the top, but on paper it is a marriage that makes a lot of sense right now.

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The Sammy Awards 2012 – Part 3: From Appalachia With Love

Resin-Trophies-1348257350204Welcome back to Part 3 of the 2012 Sammys. I hope you have enjoyed Part 1 and Part 2 and 34111_clint0gswill join us in the next day or so for the exciting conclusion. For now though we re-join our host Clint Eastwood and continue with the show.

 

 

 

bmw1To present our next award The Manofesto is thrilled to reunite the cast of the vastly underrated bmw21354758382_4b-will-friedle-56090’s sitcom Boy Meets World. Please give a warm welcome to Ben Savage, Rider 1354758486_6a-william-daniels-560Strong, Danielle Fishel, William Daniels, & Will Friedle. And the nominees are:

 

 

 

Best TV Show

Mike & Mike in the Morning

The two time defending Sammy Award winners just keep plugging along. I think I described this as “comfort food TV” last year, and that characterization remains accurate. I love coming home from work every morning, giving lovins’ to my boy Rocco, having a nice breakfast, and settling down to watch Greeny & Golic do their thing. If you are a sports fan and you’re not watching this show then you are totally missing out.

 

 

Pardon the Interruption

Just like The Mikes do their thing every morning Michael Wilbon & the crotchety yet loveable Tony Kornheiser debate the sports issues du jour every evening at 5pm, albeit for only a half hour as compared to the 4 hour marathon that their compadres produce. These guys are not only entertaining but they are smart. Few television shows nowadays compel me to stop whatever I am doing and watch…this is one of the few.

 

 

The Big Bang Theory

I grew up in an era of incredibly entertaining sitcoms like The Cosby Show, Cheers, Happy Days, & Night Court. My tastes lean toward well written, intelligent, yet traditional & comfortable comedy. I need multiple cameras, a live audience, and a laugh track. Big Bang suits my fancy on all accounts. It is an old-fashioned sitcom that is smart, funny, edgy without being vulgar, and consistent in its quality. Not only do I do my best to keep up with first run episodes, but TBS now shows all the reruns so it’s a show I catch frequently.

 

 

How I Met Your Mother

It is amazing to me that a show built around one simple idea…the story of how one man eventually meets the mother of his children…has been able to successfully string along the audience without resolving the central question for 7 years yet few seem to mind. Neil Patrick Harris & Jason Segal are bona fide stars, and the writing remains superb. This is one of the very few network TV shows that has been able to hold my interest for any length of time.

 

 

NFL Redzone

I am not sure whether it’s a show or a channel. All I know is that in 2012, a few weeks into the football season, Time-Warner Cable finally brought the NFL Network to my area and this is its companion offering. I have thoroughly enjoyed coming home from church each Sunday afternoon and immersing myself in football for the next several hours. I have always done that to a degree, but now instead of being stuck with only a couple of games I get to see all of the most notable action in each & every NFL matchup. It is sensational, and whoever came up with the concept deserves to have some sort of statue carved in their honor.

 

 

American Restoration

Like many Americans I have embraced the growing trend of original programming on cable channels as the old network system continues to wither on the vine. I am convinced that the overall quality of what’s on television has diminished in comparison to my childhood, but the fact that there are many many more channels helps to offset the drift toward inane “reality” TV and the increase in violence, sexuality, & general depravity. Now I suppose this is technically a reality show, but it isn’t like the craptastic stuff the masses usually embrace (The Bachelor, Real Housewives, Breaking Amish, etc.). When one watches American Restoration one might actually learn something. That’s a concept I can dig.

 

 

Dan Lebatard Is Highly Questionable

I feel sorry for Lebatard, a Miami sportswriter who first came to my attention when he used to fill in occasionally on PTI. He was given his own show, but ESPN kind of treats it like a bastard stepchild. It’s usually on at 4:30pm, but is often pre-empted or moved around on the schedule. That’s too bad because it’s a really fun & quirky program. Dan’s co-host is his elderly Cuban father, who I absolutely adore. He reminds me just a little bit of my late grandfather. If you’ve checked out ESPN’s other shows but somehow missed this one (understandable given its nomadic scheduling) I urge you to give it a whirl.

 

 

American Pickers

The History Channel airs a lot of stupid stuff that I don’t really like and has nothing much to do with history (Life After People?? Really??), but when they get it right they do it quite well. American Pickers satiates one’s inner pack rat without the hassle of actually filling your house with junk you don’t need. Anyone who enjoys going antiquing or trolling yard sales every summer can appreciate the peculiar charm this show offers.

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

Mike & Mike. It’s an unprecedented 3rd consecutive Sammy for Greeny & Golic!! This show just never gets old. mikemikeIt’s fun, informative, and amiable. The guys have a good time but know when to tone it down and be serious as circumstances dictate. They lost some points on Halloween when they dressed up like that ridiculous Gangnam Style guy & his weird sidekick (they even did a parody video), but I am willing to overlook that one indiscretion (unlike a certain late night talker who Slow Jammed the News with Obama….a misstep that cost him a Sammy nomination). I like Golic so much that he’s even got me pulling for Notre Dame in the National Championship Game. I didn’t know there was any kind of voodoo in the world to even make that possible.

 

 

 

Rod StewartThere’s always time for good music, so please enjoy a brief interlude by two artists that span phillip_phillips_280x280the generations. Singing a duet of the Wilson Pickett classic In the Midnight Hour welcome to the stage legendary rocker Rod Stewart and American Idol winner Phillip Phillips.

 

 

kgTo present our next award it is an honor for The Manofesto to welcome the former star of CheersFormer-television-talk-show-hosts-20 & Frasier, Emmy award winning actor Kelsey Grammer, and award winning actor, comedian, writer, and talk show host Dennis Miller. And the nominees are:

 

 

 

 

The Rosie O’Donnell Memorial Just Go Away Award

Tim Tebow

I’m probably going to catch some flak for this one, but I don’t care. Hasn’t Tebow gotten the message yet?? No one outside of ESPN’s resident buffoon Skip Bayless seriously believes that he can play QB in the NFL. The NY Jets obviously brought him in for a publicity stunt. They did get a ton of publicity in 2012, but for all the wrong reasons. Look, I’ve stated numerous times that I am sure Tebow is a nice guy. Is he a bit of a phony?? Probably, but aren’t we all?? Nevertheless, the circus needs to end and he needs to move on to whatever he is really meant to do with his life.

 

Roseanne Barr

Rarely is a person nominated for 2 Sammys in a single year. As a matter of fact I am pretty sure it’s never happened, although I am far too languid to do the necessary research. Anyway, suffice to say that Roseanne is an idiot and has been for years. She’s not funny, she has no class, and she’s wrong about just about everything she decides to spout off about.

 

Lindsay Lohan

Has this crack whore hit bottom yet?? Sadly I don’t believe she has. I’ve heard that her latest project, a Lifetime (television for women) movie called Liz & Dick in which The Hohan portrays Elizabeth Taylor, is hilariously bad. This is a gal that many once believed could be the next Meryl Streep. It is sad how all that potential has been completely wasted.

 

Taylor Swift

I’m not a real big fan of country music, but I don’t hate it. But compare a classy country artist…maybe Carrie Underwood or Martina McBride…to this kid and you’ll quickly realize that it’s like comparing fine scotch to cheap wine coolers. Have you ever listened to one of her interviews?? She is 23 going on 13. This immaturity has begun to noticeably bleed into her songs. Shouldn’t it be going in the other direction?? Shouldn’t her work become better & more refined as she gets older?? There’s also the matter of her personal life, which has become a national joke. I saw a quote somewhere that said that “this young woman doesn’t date…she trolls for potential lyrics to future songs”. There was also a Facebook meme that said something to the effect that one of Taylor Swift’s exes should write a song titled Maybe You’re the Problem. I think what Ms. Swift needs to do is go off the grid for a few years and come back when she’s gotten a little more life experience and can manage to be less annoying.

 

Kristen Stewart

I’ve never read Twilight and I never will. I’ve never seen the movies and have no intention of doing so. I suppose that disinterest is why I am sick to death of hearing about this human blank page. She’s got the charm & personality of rice cakes. For God’s sake you are rich, famous, & successful at the tender age of 22…can you atleast pretend to enjoy it rather than constantly looking like you are in the midst of a root canal & really have to take a dump??

 

Justin Bieber

Do I really need to explain?? Look, I know most teenage girls & senile grandmas think this kid is cool. I am not an teeny bopper or a granny though, so I think he’s a douchebag.

 

Dwight Howard

Has there been a bigger whiny little bitch in sports the past year?? He wanted out of Orlando, then he didn’t. He wanted to be traded, then he agreed to stay. He got Orlando Magic coach Stan van Gundy fired and still wanted out. Now he’s an LA Laker and they are mediocre at best. I am starting to fondly recall the good ol’ days of Shaquille O’Neal in comparison.

 

Piers Morgan

Roseanne Barr has some company. As you may recall Piers earlier won the Assclown of the Year Award, so I am sure he’d be quite proud of this daily double. Here’s the funny thing…he might actually go away…literally. Not only is there a legitimate petition to have him deported, but the man himself has stated that if more gun control legislation isn’t passed he may voluntarily leave of his own volition. That’d be fine by me.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

Y’all know the drill by now, right?? It’s a TIE!! None of these people add anything of substance to our culture. loserThey are all just a big ol’ waste of time. Take heart America…past nominees/winners of this award have included the likes of Jersey Shore (which just ended), Bret Favre (who finally retired for good in 2010), Twilight (which is finally o-v-e-r), and Heidi & Spencer (Remember them?? Probably not), so there is always hope.

 

 

 

charles-barkleyWe are so glad that for the 2nd year in a row the man for whom the next award was named can be here to present it. Please welcome one of the all-time great professional basketball players and current analyst for TNT’s Inside the NBA, Mr. Charles Barkley. And the nominees are:

 

 

 

The Charles Barkley Memorial Role Model Award

 

Eric LeGrand

On October 16, 2010 Rutgers defensive tackle Eric LeGrand made a tackle that would change his life forever. LeGrand was paralyzed from the neck down. I am a paraplegic myself but have always felt fortunate that it happened at birth rather than as a result of an accident when I was older. My life is the way it has always been and I know no other reality. To be able-bodied and have that suddenly change has to be traumatic. I have met people in that situation in my life, and oftentimes they are bitter, disillusioned, and angry at God. I completely understand that reaction. However, there is another way, and LeGrand has chosen that path. He has become an inspiration to millions who have heard his story. He has not shrunk into the background. He continues to live a full & satisfying life and work toward recovery. It is my understanding that he has regained some sensation & movement. At this year’s ESPY Awards LeGrand stated his belief that he would walk again and his intention, when that day comes, to return to the the field where he was injured, go to the exact spot, lay down, and then get up & walk off the field like he was unable to do on that horrible autumn day.

 

 

Dan Cathy & Mike Huckabee

The Chick-Fil-A controversy was obviously a big story in 2012. It all started last summer with a couple of interviews in which Cathy, the company’s CEO & son of its founder, espoused his & the company’s support of Biblical principles & “the biblical definition of the family unit”. Those statements created a firestorm of controversy stirred by the leftist, God hating, alternative lifestyles crowd. There were threats, there were boycotts, there were petitions…predictable reactions from what my man Rush Limbaugh refers to as “phony baloney plastic banana good time rock n’ rollers”. However, this time Christian conservatives fought back. Former Arkansas governor & 2008 presidential candidate Mike Huckabee organized Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day and on Wednesday August 1st the masses turned out in droves. I know the parking lot was packed and the drive thru line longer than I’ve ever seen it at my local restaurant, and my friend The Owl reported similar activity from his base in Columbus, OH. I am sure the business enjoyed a healthy bottom line, but that’s not really what it’s all about. Kudos to Cathy for standing by his values & running a first-class operation, and to Huckabee for doing what more Christians need to do…find a way to fight back that is tasteful, intelligent, peaceful, and examples Christ.

 

 

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker

After having been duly elected thru the democratic process in 2010 Gov. Walker was forced to endure a recall election in 2012 after less than a year in office. His crime?? He pissed off the unions in Wisconsin while trying to instill some fiscal responsibility to his state. Fortunately for Wisconsin Walker endured & won the recall. We need more public servants like Walker who are willing to tighten the belt, say no, and make a good faith effort to be proper stewards of that with which they have been entrusted.

 

 

Pat Summitt

I am not a big fan of women’s basketball or any other women’s sport. I guess maybe some would call that sexist. Maybe it is. At any rate, that being said, even a non-fan like me knows about the dominance of the University of Tennessee & their coach Pat Summitt. Between 1987 & 2008 Summitt led the Lady Volunteers to 8 national championships. Over the course of 38 years she became the all time winningest NCAA basketball coach, surpassing even the best men’s coaches like Duke’s Coach K., UCLA legend John Wooden, and Bobby Knight. In 2011 she was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s, but continued coaching. In 2012 she stepped down and let someone else take over. She didn’t have to…no one forced her to. But Pat Summitt knew it was the right thing to do…for her health and for the long term success of the program that she’d built. She has handled herself & the situation with grace & class. I do not know the current state of her health, but I wish Pat Summitt all of the favor & blessings that God may see fit to bestow.

 

 

Felix Baumgartner

On October 14th the 43 year old Austrian daredevil set multiple world records when he skydived from 24 miles up into the Earth’s stratosphere, becoming the first person to break the sound barrier without vehicular power in the process. Why’d he do it?? I don’t know. All I do know is that it was pretty freakin’ cool and an amazing feat.

 

 

Angus T. Jones

I do not watch Two & a Half Men. It comes on at 9pm on Monday nights, and nothing is going to tear me away from my pro wrestling. I’ve seen a few episodes here & there over the years, enough to know that Jones portrays the “half man”, the son of the character played by Jon Cryer (otherwise known as Matthew Broderick Light in the 80’s). A few months ago the 19 year old Jones, who apparently had been born again recently, expressed refreshing honesty about the program on which he appears when he said that it was “filth” and encouraged people to stop watching. Now there are some that have called Jones unprofessional & hypocritical, pointing out that he is biting the hand that feeds him & also still cashing those paychecks since he hasn’t quit his job just yet. Those are valid arguments. However, I choose to blame the admittedly clumsy way in which the young man handled the issue on his youth. He’ll learn to approach situations with more elegance & finesse as he matures. I would rather focus on the fact that The Lord has a new soldier in His army that is beginning to recognize some basic truths about life. I wish young Mr. Jones nothing but success in whatever pursuits he may decide upon in the future and sincerely hope he continues on the path of faith.

 

 

Howard Cooper

Who?? Yes, I know…you’ve never heard of him. Well not everyone worthy of our praise is a celebrity. Cooper is an 83 year old Michigan man who owned an auto dealership until last spring. Upon his retirement he decided to thank his 89 employees in a very practical…and generous…way. Cooper gave each employee $1000…for every year of service they’d given the business, which opened 47 years ago. In other words, anyone who’d been with Mr. Cooper since the beginning received a check for $46,000. Someone who’d only been around half that time received a still handsome sum of $23K. He had also insisted that the business who’d bought him out retain each employee as a condition of the sale. The total sum of these gifts is unknown, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that the world would be a much better place if every boss was as thoughtful as Mr. Cooper and cared about their security as much as him. Kudos to Howard Cooper. Well played sir.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

Eric LeGrand. Maybe I am a bit biased since I myself am in a wheelchair. I hope that LeGrand is able to someday s111006_01-eric-pg-horizontalwalk again, and I would love to see him fulfill his dream of walking off the same field that he once left on a stretcher. Only God knows if that will actually happen, but in the meantime I am sure he will keep working, stay active, and show the world that a disability is not a death sentence. In May the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (now coached by former Rutgers coach Greg Schiano) signed LeGrand to an NFL contract, which was a damn fine gesture on their part. In July LeGrand officially “retired” so as not to take up a roster spot…an equally classy move.

 

 

 

 

This seems like the appropriate place to take another break. Please stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of the 2012 Sammy Awards!!

 

 

 

 

 

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2012 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 15

And down the stretch we come!! This is the next-to-last week of the NFL season and thus the inaugural season of the PPP’s. I had another 4-3 record last weekend (I am almost positive that I’ve not exceeded that success rate at all this year), bringing my overall record to 42-61-1. Surprisingly there aren’t a lot of compelling matchups this week. There are a lot of games where one team is already securely in the playoffs while their opponent’s season long ago went in the crapper. And there are a few games where both teams are bad. The one game with a somewhat moderate level of drama is a game I won’t pick because it involves my Steelers and I cannot be impartial. Nevertheless I believe that I have found 7 games worthy of our attention. We’ll see.

 

 

San Diego       at         NY Jets (-2.5)

Has there been any bigger train wreck in the NFL this year than the Jets?? If they have any Jets-Pin-Procompetition it just might be the equally abysmal Chargers, but of course for a variety of reasons the Jets get a lot more scrutiny. I think it’s safe to say that a good many of the personnel for both teams…players, coaches, suits…involved with this game will not be a part of their respective organizations the next time these two meet (whenever that may be). At any rate I think the Jets pull this one out, because how great would it be if, after all the love & hate for both Mark Sanchez & Tim Tebow, it is QB Greg McElroy who emerges as the best field general on the team??

 

Minnesota      at         Houston (-7)

Apparently Vikings QB Christian Ponder married ESPN hottie Samantha Steele this week after houston texans logo2just meeting her like 4 months ago. Not only does that make me question his sanity & decision making skills, but it logically makes one wonder just how prepared he will be to face the Texans’ stout defense. Houston already has their division won but is still battling for home field throughout the playoffs. Minnesota is in a dogfight for a wildcard spot. If Houston had nothing to play for I might roll the dice, but that home field thing is a huge asset so I think they’ll still be sharp and win easily.

 

New Orleans at         Dallas (-2.5)

Contrary to the opinion that I have espoused for months the Saints have not overcome their New-Orleans-Saints-Logo-244x300early season woes and will not be making the playoffs. The Cowboys, on the other hand, are still very much in the thick of the playoff hunt and could even win their division. This is a total vibe game. Logically speaking Dallas has everything to play for plus the home field advantage. However, they are also a hot mess. New Orleans has never recovered from all the offseason bounty hoopla, but they still have QB Drew Brees, and I am betting that he does not want to let his team finish worse than .500. The Voices are telling me to pick the Saints, so I shall comply.

 

Tennessee       at         Green Bay (-11.5)

Will Green Bay lose this game?? No, probably not. Will they cover the spread?? That’s a more Tennessee_Titans_Helmetinteresting question. The Titans have been a real disappointment to me this season. I have always thought that QB Jake Locker was the real deal, and I figured that RB Chris Johnson would rebound from a subpar 2011 and have a monster year. But for some reason things just haven’t gelled in Music City. Meanwhile the Packers just keep on truckin’ and have already clinched the division. It is unlikely that they are going to overcome the Atlanta Falcons for the home field, so what do they really have to play for?? Don’t be surprised if several Green Bay starters get a lot of rest these next couple of weeks. That being said I think the Packers win the game but not by double digits…so the Titans are the pick.

 

New England (-14.5)  at         Jacksonville

So this is what it has come to?? I am reduced to picking a game that wouldn’t be in doubt even if New_England_Patriots_Helmetthe entire Patriots starting lineup just stayed home?? New England is still very much in contention for home field throughout the playoffs, which should be sufficient motivation. Conversely the talking heads on ESPN and elsewhere are already talking about the Jags signing Tebow in the offseason. As much as it pains me to do so I have to go with the Pats to win big & cover.

 

NY Giants (-1.5)          at         Baltimore

The Ravens have already clinched a playoff berth but have also lost three games in a row. The Giants LogoGiants are always dangerous this time of the year because it’s usually when they shake off all that mediocrity and get hot. Winning their last two games would almost certainly net a division title, and since the last game of the season is against the pathetic Philadelphia Eagles one would assume that this would be a game the Giants would be sufficiently jacked for. New York has everything to win & lose…Baltimore knows it’ll either be the lowest seeded division champion or a wildcard, which is kind of like the difference between Burger King & Wendy’s, i.e. not much difference. Therefore, even though they disappointed me last week I’m going to choose the Giants.

 

San Francisco (-1)      at         Seattle

Who would have ever figured three months ago that this would be such a highly anticipated4 game?? Kudos to head coach Pete Carroll, who’s Seahawks have won 5 out of their last 6 games and look likely to make the playoffs if they can just win one of these last two games. Meanwhile the 49ers have won 4 out of their last 6, with only inexplicable stumbles against the Rams that led to a loss & a tie. I know Seattle has the home field here, and that crowd will be amped out of their freakin’ minds. But I also think that most “experts” would agree that ‘Frisco is still clearly the better team. I am an underdog kind of guy so Seattle’s success has been fun to watch, but I think they’re going to have to win next week against the Rams to secure their playoff spot because I don’t believe the 49ers will lose this one.

 

 

 

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2012 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 5

 

Well…atleast last week I upgraded back to mediocrity from the depths of ineptitude that plagued my previous effort. That’s my lame effort to polish another turd anyway. I went 4-5. I suppose the good news is that at this point some trends in both college football & the NFL are beginning to emerge, and we are starting to get a better idea of which teams are truly good and which ones aren’t likely to cut the mustard in 2012. I am confident that this knowledge will help me significantly improve my 11-19 record, as long as I can minimize my propensity for making off-the-wall choices. The fact is that my vibes are about as accurate as a Tim Tebow pass across the middle, and I am man enough to admit it. At any rate, let’s talk football and make some picks!!

 

 

 

Tennessee          at            Georgia (-15.5)

Now the real season begins. The Vols come into this game 3-1, but like a lot of other college teams they haven’t played anybody. Ditto for the Bulldogs, who are 4-0 and ranked #5 in the polls. In my pre-season rankings I put Tennessee at #12 and left Georgia unranked. Was I right, or am I insane?? This game might decide that. To be honest, I’d be very surprised if Tennessee actually won. Georgia is as good as most of the pundits said they would be before the season began. My supposition that there are such a plethora of good teams in the SEC that someone has to be left on the outside looking in is very likely true, but it looks like the Bulldogs won’t be that team. However, I find the spread on this game interesting. The only legitimate piece of evidence we have to examine is Tennessee’s loss to Florida a couple of weeks ago, in which they were beaten by 17 points, and that isn’t really any help. So do I go with the experts, or do I go with my unreliable vibes?? There is an element of pride here wherein I just cannot bring myself to abandon what was a risky pre-season pick. The Vols may not win this game, but I have the backs of my boys from Rocky Top and will assume they have enough testicular fortitude to be competitive and cover the spread.

 

 

Ohio State          at            Michigan State (-1)

Ohio St. is 4-0 and ranked among the top 20, even though they are ineligible for post-season play. The Spartans are 3-1, having defeated Boise St. and two cupcakes while falling to the hated Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. The Buckeyes have looked less than impressive in narrow victories over Cal & UAB the past two weeks, so they are going to have to wake up and realize they are playing a real opponent now. Michigan St. is a slight favorite only because of the home field advantage. I really like young OSU signal caller Braxton Miller, but I’m not impressed with their defense. Michigan St. RB Le’veon Bell is a native of a small Columbus, OH suburb but wasn’t recruited by Ohio St. One thing I love about college football is that little things like that can be important. Bell is averaging 150 yards/game, and though I don’t expect he’ll be quite that successful this week I do believe he’ll make an impact. That’s enough for me to pick Michigan St.

 

 

Virginia Tech (-6)             vs.          Cincinnati

The Hokies come into this contest 3-1 and giving off mixed signals. They defeated Georgia Tech in overtime but inexplicably lost to the horrible Pitt Panthers a couple weeks ago. I picked the Bearcats #11 in my pre-season poll  with the logic that someone has to win The Big East, and thus far they are 2-0 and coming off a rather early bye week. Cincinnati, by the way, beat the same Pitt team that defeated Virginia Tech. I would really love to pick Cincinnati here, not only because I put them in my Top 25 but also because I have always had a robust disdain for Virginia Tech. However, the game is in Blacksburg and I find it difficult to believe that they’ll lose two games in a row. Coming out of a bye should mean the Bearcats are healthy, well rested, and full of energy. If the game was in Cincy or the spread was larger I’d go with my heart, but neither of things is true so I am forced to hold my nose and pick the hated Hokies.

 

 

Texas (-2)            at            Oklahoma State

West Virginia Mountaineer fans might be fully focused on their inaugural Big 12 game against Baylor, but they should take note of this matchup of two future foes. One team will move forward in its quest for the conference title, while the loser of this game is very likely out of the running pretty darn quickly. Texas is trying to rebound from two straight subpar seasons and thus far have looked more like the old successful Longhorns that we are all used to rather than whoever those impostors were the past couple of years. Oklahoma St. has beaten two cupcakes and lost to Arizona, leading the nation in points scored along the way. I picked both teams to sneak into the Top 25 in my pre-season poll, and that could still happen, but the winner here will certainly have a leg up. I am mildly surprised that the visitors are the favorites, even though it is only a 2 point spread. I almost always go with the home team in these situations, and there is a huge question as to whether or not Texas is truly “back” after the way they have played in recent years. That question may not be fully answered this week, but we’ll get a good idea. The vibes are literally having an argument in my head about this one and I really feel like it’s a tossup. But hey, I have to pick someone, right?? I guess I will play it safe and choose the Longhorns, but no outcome will surprise me all that much.

 

 

Minnesota          at            Detroit (-4.5)

I know the NFL values parity, but this season has been ridiculous. At this point I wouldn’t be shocked if the playoffs are chock full of 8-8 teams. I don’t think anyone foresaw the Vikings upset of San Francisco last week, which made Minnesota 2-1. Meanwhile, the evolution of the Lions from pretenders to contenders seems to have stalled a bit, as they come into this game 1-2, although to be fair they barely lost last week to Tennessee in overtime. Minnesota RB Adrian Peterson is kinda sorta back from a knee injury, but he has yet to break 100 yards in a game this season. Detroit might have found its answer at RB with the long awaited debut of Mikel Leshoure, who gained 100 yards in his first NFL game last week. In my mind this matchup comes down to one thing: Matthew Stafford & Calvin Johnson vs. Christian Ponder & Percy Harvin. Whoever hits the big plays will win. I don’t think the Vikings can duplicate their tremendous effort from last week, so I’ll go with the home team favorites.

 

 

Chicago                at            Dallas (-3.5)

This is the Monday night game this week. Both teams are 2-1 and haven’t given fans any inclination one way or another who they really are. Bears’ QB Jay Cutler is a mediocre headcase with loads of unrealized potential. The entire Cowboys franchise is a mediocre headcase with loads of unrealized potential. Seriously…every single year multiple talking heads pick both of these teams to do great things, and every year both teams fall way short of expectations. At this point I’m not sure why anyone cares. Both of these teams are teams that people watch their games to see whoever their opponent is. A game pitting the two of them against each other is like two second-rate and largely disappointing worlds colliding. It’s like watching a movie with a bunch of character actors and no leading men. But I guess I have to pick someone. Honestly I’d have more fun skipping this choice and watching The Weather Channel. In my NFL preview I predicted the Bears to go 9-7 and miss the playoffs, while I said the Cowboys would go 10-6 and be a wildcard. I suppose that one game difference is this one, so I’ll pick Dallas.

 

 

San Diego (1.5)                 at            Kansas City

The Chargers come into this game 2-1, while the Chiefs are 1-2. I would have thought it’d be the other way around. Kansas City leads the NFL in rushing, but that statistic is misleading since it is largely based on RB Jamaal Charles gaining a whopping 233 yards last week in a huge overtime victory over the New Orleans Saints. San Diego is 4th in the NFL in rushing defense, so something will have to give here. This is the Sunday night game on NBC, which in recent years has become a much more entertaining product than ESPN’s Monday night offering. That obviously has nothing to do with the actual game, although I am guessing that teams might get energized by being the prime time center of attention. At any rate, the winner here will gain a small advantage in the race for the AFC West division crown, so it is far from a meaningless game. In my NFL preview I said the Chargers would go 6-10 and head coach Norv Turner would soon be unemployed, while I picked Kansas City to sneak into the playoffs as a wildcard. I guess I should stand behind my own predictions, so I’ll go with the underdog Chiefs.

 

 

 

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Winning & Musing…..Volume 4.12

On tap…a surprising amount of football talk for early spring, with a little Madness sprinkled into the mix.

 

 

I must admit that my money was on either Tennessee or the 49ers landing Peyton Manning. I didn’t think the Broncos had the hutzpah to pull the plug on Tebow, although when Broncos boss John Elway says about his now former starting quarterback that he’s the kind of guy he’d want to marry his daughter the team’s real feelings became obvious. Implicit in that seemingly very nice backhanded compliment is the idea that Tebow’s a great guy but a terrible QB (which has been my point for months!). San Francisco was so close to making it to The Super Bowl last season, and the idea of Manning throwing to the suddenly unretired Randy Moss and the newly signed Mario Manningham sounded solid. I am not sure what made Peyton shy away from such an intriguing prospect. Surely it had to be more than not wanting to be in the NFC competing against his little brother, right?? And then there are the Titans. It would have had a nice feeling of symmetry to see the former Volunteer great end his career back in the The Volunteer State. Who says you can’t go home?? In Denver Peyton Manning…who has always been the big man on campus wherever he has been…can never hope to escape the shadow of Elway. Maybe Peyton Manning’s ego really is that much in check and his self-esteem that solid. Or maybe we’ll have us some drama down the road. We shall see.

 

Congratulations to Hines Ward, not only for a stellar 14 year career with the Pittsburgh Steelers, but especially for doing the classy thing and retiring instead of tarnishing his image by squeezing out one final year riding the pine in another uniform. I understand that it is hard for a lot of these guys to walk away from a game they’ve been playing since grade school. No one wants to admit when they are getting older, slowing down, and can no longer do what used to come so easy just a few years ago. Ward’s legacy is secure, and though this ending is bittersweet, his courageous decision to do the right thing means it is more the latter than the former.

 

I am a little ambivalent about this whole New Orleans Saints bounty scandal. I suppose no one can argue that it is wrong, not to mention a little silly. You mean to tell me that a guy making a million dollars or more can be motivated to be just a little meaner & hit harder with a $10k challenge to take an opposing player out of the game?? That just doesn’t compute. It’s sad that this stupidity casts a shadow over what was a memorable & heartwarming run to a Super Bowl title for the Saints during the 2009-10 season, a championship that meant so much to the hurting city of New Orleans. I think this sort of thing has probably always gone on in professional football, and was likely more meaningful back in the days when players made the kind of paltry sum that still dictated that they find an offseason job. Under those circumstances the opportunity to make some extra scratch would atleast make some sense. The tyrannical reign of Commandant Fidel Goodell continues, under the politically correct auspices of making an inherently violent game “safer”, whatever that means. The punishment handed down to the Saints, especially the season long suspension of head coach Sean Payton, seems more about the commissioner making a statement of his own power & authority rather than punishing any legitimate wrongdoing.

 

ESPN’s Skip Bayless has done the impossible. He has made fellow blowhard Stephen A. Smith seem almost tolerable…maybe even likeable…in comparison. This makes me loathe Bayless even more.

 

Tiger Woods is back…maybe. It is probably a bit premature to rejoin the bandwagon, but atleast he has returned to the winner’s circle for the first time in nearly three years. I realize that may not be considered a good thing by a great many people, but I am the forgiving sort that tends to give people a second chance. Tiger has paid for his sins on many levels, probably more than any of us will ever truly know. His return to the top of the leaderboard is good for golf, which is good enough for me.

 

So…now we now have our Final Four, and as expected the pretenders that had their moment in the sun during the first couple of rounds have all fallen by the wayside and the cream has risen to the top. In this case that cream consists of Kentucky, Ohio St., Louisville, & Kansas. The 4th seeded Cardinals are the “Cinderella”, although I’d hardly call the 17th most successful program in NCAA basketball history with 2 national championships and 8 Final Fours an interloper.

 

Texas Rangers fans can apparently…if they so choose…shell out $26 for something called a Boomstick, which is a 2lb. hot dog with fixins’ that include shredded cheese, chili, sautéed onions and who knows what else. Good Lord.

 

I am not sure what to make of Tim Tebow’s trade to the NY Jets. The move raises more questions than it provides answers. From a football perspective, are the Jets a good fit?? I know there has been some restlessness with QB Mark Sanchez, but I just don’t think they are really ready to give up on him yet. No matter what his shortcomings may be, Sanchez is undeniably a better signal caller at this point. How comfortable will Tebow be with fiery, egomaniacal blowhard Rex Ryan as his coach?? There have been lots of reports this offseason about discord in the Jets locker room, and one wonders whether this trade was a PR move to improve that image, if Jets’ brass legitimately think Tebow will effectively bring about a culture change, or the problems will just multiply. In the media & cultural epicenter that is The Big Apple will Tebow-mania fade quietly into the background, or will it detonate larger than ever?? On the spiritual front, should one feel sorry for such an inherently decent fellow being dropped into the big city cesspool of debauchery, or is this just a bigger stage from which Tebow can spread The Good News to the masses?? If it is the latter, one cannot deny the Hand of Divine Providence in the midst of these snowballing events. I don’t know any answers, but I cannot deny that I am interested in seeing how things shake out.

 

 

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Winning & Musing…..Volume 1.12

The first W&M of 2012 finds us ever so close to the annual sports “dead zone”, when football will be over, Nascar not quite back yet, baseball still several weeks away, and only college basketball (which isn’t all that exciting until March Madness) and the NBA (completely useless until the playoffs begin) to keep us company. And no, I have no interest in hockey in case you are wondering. Take heart sports fans…it’s the perfect time to catch up on your reading, hone your culinary skills, and of course become Manotized!!

 

 

 

I must admit that I did not watch one second of the NCAA championship game between LSU & Alabama, and from what I have heard I didn’t miss anything as it wasn’t that much more interesting than the first time the two teams met a couple months ago. Come on NCAA…it’s time for a playoff!! One argument that I have heard ad nauseum by opponents of a playoff system is the ol’ “College football’s regular season IS a playoff every week…lose and you’re out!!”. Well…not quite. LSU did what it was supposed to do by defeating Alabama in the regular season and were still forced into a rematch, which of course they lost. So that “logic” has now officially gone down in flames. The regular season game between the two meant zero, zilch, nada. I have absolutely no clue why we can’t have a 4 team playoff (which this season would have included ‘Bama, LSU, Oklahoma State, and most likely Oregon) and still maintain a thriving, robust bowl system. There’s just no reason for not doing it.

 

Speaking of the bowl games…

I am usually not one to boast, but I have to give myself a bit of a public pat on the back. I picked 28 of the 35 post-season games correctly, which is an 80% winning clip and by far the best I have ever done in forecasting those slate of contests. Go Me!!

 

Conversely, my NFL predictions were mediocre at best. My two Super Bowl teams were San Diego & Tampa Bay. They finished a combined 12-20 and didn’t make the playoffs. Oops. I owe a huge apology to the Cincinnati Bengals, who I picked to go 1-15 and have the top pick in the draft. Instead they went 9-7 and made the playoffs as a wildcard. Mad kudos to Bengals’ rookie quarterback Andy Dalton, who exceeded all expectations and in my universe would be a slam dunk choice for Rookie of the Year. Sadly for him that honor will instead go to Carolina Panthers’ signal caller Cam Newton. I was also way wrong on the NY Giants, who I predicted to go 5-12…far from the division winning 9-7 record with which they ended up. I totally whiffed on the Philadelphia Eagles, but everyone else did too so I don’t feel so bad. I nailed the AFC North race by saying that the Steelers & Ravens would tie, with Baltimore winning the division in a tiebreaker and Pittsburgh being a wildcard team. That is exactly what happened. I pretty much had the AFC East & NFC North pegged right on as well. I did not see the utter implosion of the Indianapolis Colts coming, but then again no one did because the extent of Peyton Manning’s injury wasn’t made known until after the season began. I got 2 of the NFC’s 6 playoff teams right, while in the AFC I chose 4 of 6 correctly.

 

NY Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez needs a change of scenery. He has obviously lost the confidence of his coach, his teammates, and the fans. That’s tough enough anywhere, but in New York I just don’t think it’s something from which he can recover.

 

If I am in charge of the Indianapolis Colts I trade the #1 overall choice they “earned” (with a dreadful 2-14 record) for everything it’s worth, which should be atleast a half dozen picks including a slightly lower first rounder. Andrew Luck, as much potential as he has, is overhyped. There will be a next “greatest prospect ever” coming ‘round the bend in a few years (maybe even next year, when Matt Barkley finishes up at USC). Assuming his neck heals Peyton Manning has probably 3 or 4 years left, but he needs a better team around him.

 

To the Penn St. alumni & former players who have been critical of the hiring of new head coach Bill O’Brien…what is your freakin’ problem?? I fully understand the penchant of college sports teams to hire “within the family”, aka a former player or assistant coach who understands the tradition & history of the program. However, in this case, does it shock a-n-y-o-n-e with a brain that the powers-that-be in Happy Valley want to make a completely fresh start and decided to go with a guy with absolutely no ties to the school, the team, and especially any connection whatsoever to Joe Paterno or his former coaching staff?? Sure in a perfect world interim head coach and long-time Paterno assistant Tom Bradley would have gotten the gig as a reward for all his years of loyalty. But in this case that simply was NOT going to happen. They HAD to have a 100% clean break from the past. It’s a drop in the bucket compared to the issues the school faces and the unseemly reputation they must now fight an uphill battle to overcome, but it is a step in the right direction and was the only choice that could be made.

 

I will address this issue once & only once, and then I will never speak of it again and erase the abomination from my memory. If the debacle that was the Denver Broncos’ shocking overtime victory over my Pittsburgh Steelers in the NFL playoffs taught us anything, it is that, despite their ranking as the league’s #1 pass defense, the Steelers’ secondary is atrocious. They somehow managed to make quite possibly the worst “quarterback” in pro football history look like the love child of Dan Fouts & Dan Marino. When April’s draft rolls around the Steelers simply MUST spend atleast 2 or 3 picks…including their 1st rounder…on new cornerbacks. If there are any talented corners available in free agency they need to sign one or two of them as well. Ike Taylor, their supposed top CB, would be no better than a dime package backup on most other teams. And guys like Bryant McFadden, Anthony Madison, and the atrocious William Gay need to be given their walking papers. This has been an issue for several years that has not been properly addressed by the team’s braintrust. Well gentlemen…the time is now. It may also be time to begin grooming a successor for 74 year old defensive coordinator Dick Lebeau. Undoubtedly he has been very successful, but he’s not getting any younger and in two consecutive seasons post-season opponents…the Broncos this year and the Packers in last year’s Super Bowl…have outcoached him and played his defense like a fiddle.

 

Some things never change. Even after the death of nutjob owner Al Davis the Oakland Raiders are as dysfunctional as ever. The new regime just fired head coach Hue Jackson after ONE season…a season in which they went 8-8, tied for the division lead, and fell one tiebreaker short of making the playoffs. Really?? Do the suits there think they’ll be able to lure a big name coach that’ll do any better?? Maybe…maybe…twenty years ago. But not now. When will people learn that organizational stability is the cornerstone of success in sports?? Certainly they haven’t learned that lesson in Tampa, where the Bucs also foolishly fired a coach after one bad season. Raheem Morris was in his third year as head coach and had lead a 7 game turnaround, finishing 10-6 in 2010, a vast improvement over their 3-13 record in his first go round in 2009. In 2011 the team admittedly took a step backward, going 4-12. However, based on the success of the 2010 season I feel like Morris should have been given one more chance. Unfortunately I don’t own an NFL franchise.

 

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The Sammy Awards 2011 – Episode II: Electric Boogaloo

Welcome back to Part 2 of the 2011 Sammy Awards. I hope you enjoyed the first installment and will tune in for the conclusion.

 

 

At this time it is our pleasure to bring to the stage, to sing a duet of Frank Sinatra’s popular hit That’s Life, Grammy award winning artist Michael Buble and the winner of America’s Got Talent, Landau Eugene Murphy Jr.

 

 

 

To present our next award, The Manofesto is deeply honored to introduce three members of America’s greatest sports dynasty, the Pittsburgh Steelers. Please welcome NFL Hall of Famers Terry Bradshaw, Mean Joe Greene, and Lynn Swann. And the nominees are:

 

Biggest Sports Story

 

Dominance of the Green Bay Packers

The Green Bay Packers went almost exactly a calendar year without losing a game. After squeaking into the playoffs last season as a wildcard team who had a plethora of players out with injuries, they ran roughshod through the field and won The Super Bowl. Then The Pack looked unbeatable and in fact were through 13 weeks of the 2011 season, easily vanquishing their opponents while quarterback Aaron Rodgers made Cheeseheads forget all about that Favre fellow. They had an inexplicable hiccup against the lowly Kansas City Chiefs just a few weeks ago, but still look like the odds on favorite to repeat as champs.

 

NFL & NBA Lockouts

To most fans these occasional spitting contests between owners of professional sports teams and their players is an annoying battle of billionaires vs. millionaires. However, regardless of the financial legalities involved, at the end of the day Joe Sixpack just wants to be able to sit around in his underwear, drink a few beverages, and cheer on his favorite team. The NFL Lockout had been foreseen for upwards of 2 or 3 years, and it ended up lasting nearly 5 months before being resolved in July, with the only casualty being the annual preseason Hall of Fame Game. The rest of the preseason and regular season were unaffected. I have no idea who is considered to have won or lost the battle…I was just thrilled when pro football was back on my television. Unlike their football brethren, the NBA did lose part of their season, with the first 6 weeks being cancelled and the regular season being shortened from 82 to 66 games. Again I don’t really know who is believed to have won or lost, and I don’t care. I wasn’t anywhere near as invested in basketball’s drama as I was the football story, but I guess it’s nice that they resolved the issue and are playing. Now I can go back to ignoring the NBA as usual until the playoffs begin.

 

Japan Wins Womens’ World Cup

I couldn’t possibly care less about soccer, but it is the world’s most popular sport and The World Cup is its crowning achievement. Like most Americans I was rooting for the U.S. team, but since the tournament took place mere weeks after Japan was devastated by a horrific earthquake & tsunami their gals were the sentimental favorites amongst most of the Earth’s soccer loving population.

 

Penn St. Sexual Abuse Scandal

Joe Paterno served 46 years as the head coach of the Penn State Nittany Lions and is the all-time winningest coach in major college football with 409 victories. The chorus calling for his ouster had started to become louder in the past decade, mostly due to his advanced age and the fact that he hadn’t sniffed the national title picture since The Clinton Administration. However, few really thought he’d ever be fired, and absolutely no one on the planet could have predicted the circumstances of his demise. Back in November former Penn St. defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky was arrested for allegedly molesting numerous young boys, some of them on the school’s campus. Then news broke that another assistant coach had witnessed an incident in 2002 and reported it to Paterno, who had then reported it to the athletic director. Apparently no one called law enforcement. After the dust settled Paterno as well as the AD and the school’s President were fired. It was a sad & shocking end to a legendary career.

 

Tim Tebow

I’m not sure Tebow is as much a football player as he is a folk hero. Few thought his unique skill set would translate to a successful NFL career, and that presumption has been right…and wrong. Mostly due to financial considerations, the demands of a vocal fan base & the complicit media, and the fact that the Denver Broncos just aren’t a very good team, Tebow ascended to the top of the quarterback depth chart in 2011. Despite the fact that he couldn’t hit water if he was throwing from a dinghy in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and looked like the worst QB in the history of football for 55 minutes of almost every game, he somehow lead the Broncos to a stretch of 7 wins in 8 games, with several of those victories due to late game heroics. Off the field Tebow is an unabashed born again Christian who does not run from his faith, a fact which endears him to some and offends others greatly. This mix of popularity, controversial religious zeal, and questionable ability have combined to make Tim Tebow a favorite topic of discussion on every conceivable sports program, especially ESPN’s First Take, where master debater & cunning linguist Skip Bayless practically drops to his knees and fellatiates him on a daily basis.

 

Ohio St. Scandal/Jim Tressel Firing

With his stoic manner and austere sweater vest Jim Tressel seems more like a professor than a football coach. But numbers don’t lie, and in a career spanning nearly 25 years Tressel won 75% of his games, 6 Big Ten Titles, and 5 national championships. Unfortunately in 2011 he got caught up in the arrogant culture of cheating that has sadly come to define big time collegiate athletics at institutions like Ohio State. A group of Buckeye players were found to have traded memorabilia in exchange for free tattoos at a Columbus shop. The NCAA tends to frown on such things, and they really get upset when it is discovered that the head coach had known about the whole thing and covered it up. Tressel decided to resign and the players involved were suspended for much of the 2011 season. The Buckeyes are now on probation, losing a handful of scholarships and will not be allowed to play in the postseason next year. All things considered they got off pretty easy, except for Tressel, whose career is essentially over.

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

The Penn St. Scandal. As a fan I hate when issues like crime, sexual abuse, and indictments invade the sports page, but this was a huge story. A beloved, fabled, larger-than-life coach was fired and a hugely successful & seemingly clean program has been left in shambles. And lest we forget, there are numerous young men that must, for the rest of their lives, deal with having been molested by a sick freak who will hopefully be spending the remainder of his pathetic life behind bars being someone else’s bitch.

 

 

 

To present our next award, we are happy to reunite members of the cast of the 90’s Saturday morning staple Hang Time. Please welcome Daniella Deutscher, Megan Parlen, Anthony Anderson, Dick Butkus, Reggie Theus, and Amber Barretto. And the nominees are:

 

 

 

Best TV Show

 

How I Met Your Mother

It’s a second consecutive nomination for the continuing Friends-esque adventures of 5 New Yorkers, with the question of how main character Ted (a part narrated…in the future…by Bob Saget) eventually meets his children’s mother yet to be answered. Oh we’ve come close a couple of times, but that pursuit has been kind of backburnered as viewers are mostly caught up in the on again/off again romance of pals Barney (played by the sublime Neil Patrick Harris) and Robin.

 

Big Bang Theory

Another two time nominee, this is the adventures of two uber nerds, their eccentric posse of co-workers & gal pals, and the hot, ditzy neighbor. It’s kind of a counterpoint to the classic 80’s sitcom Three’s Company. Whereas Three’s Company catered to the lowest common denominator, Big Bang Theory embraces the intellectual capacity of its characters while not shying away from their social ineptitude. The writing continues to be witty & sharp, and the expanded cast doesn’t feel overcrowded or excessive.

 

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

In my mind Jimmy Fallon has already surpassed Leno, Letterman, & Conan in the late night hierarchy. His monologue isn’t as solid, but then again he isn’t a stand-up comedian. The strong suit of the show is in the creative bits & audience participation games that usually come after the first commercial break…stuff like Slow Jam the News, Cupid’s Arrow (a parody of a 1980’s video dating service), Cell Phone Shootout, Models & Buckets, Beer Pong (played with a celebrity guest), Charades (played with a celebrity guest & an audience member), and my personal favorite Thank You Notes (a regular Friday night feature). The host himself is a strength of the show as well. One gets the feeling that Leno is kind of an ass & that Conan’s antics might become irritating in short order, and we all know that Letterman is mental. In contrast, Jimmy Fallon seems to genuinely be relishing what he is doing and appears to be the sort of sincerely pleasant fellow one wouldn’t mind hanging out with and enjoying a beverage.

 

Mike & Mike in the Morning

The 2010 winner of this award is still going strong. The great thing about a show like this is that it is constantly changing yet never really changes. In other words, because it is a sports talk show and there are almost always new stories & issues to pontificate about and examine on a daily basis, the show is always fresh. Conversely, the affable charm and playfully antagonistic relationship of hosts Greeny & Golic creates an easygoing, reliable comfort zone that allows the viewer to just sit back & enjoy their antics. Even when one or both of the hosts are off there is a posse of guests and fill-in hosts like former NFL players Marcellus Wiley, Mark “Stink” Schlereth, & Cris Carter, baseball insiders Buster Olney & Tim Kurkjian, and football insiders Mel Kiper Jr., Adam Schefter, & Chris Mortensen that keep the show going even if they aren’t quite as entertaining as The Mikes.

 

Parenthood

Loosely based on the 1989 Ron Howard film that starred an ensemble cast headed by Steve Martin, Mary Steenburgen, Jason Robards, Keanu Reeves, and a young Joaquin Phoenix, this is the second time a television adaptation has been attempted. Needless to say this version is much better than the first effort (which starred Ed Begley Jr., David Arquette, and a young Leonardo DiCaprio). It’s one of those dramedies that I tend to love so much on both the big & small screens, I think because it is an accurate depiction of life…sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry, sometimes we laugh until we cry, and sometimes we have to laugh to keep from crying. There are no huge stars, but there are a few recognizable faces…Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls), Peter Krause (Six Feet Under, Sports Night), and Craig T. Nelson (Coach). As with most shows with a large cast of characters, there are usually a few stories going on, and it’s a hit or miss effort. Fortunately Parenthood seems to hit all the right notes most of the time.

 

Pardon the Interruption

Readers of The Manofesto know how much I love my ESPN talk shows, and this is the evening book end to Mike & Mike. Starring former sports writers Michael Wilbon and Tony Kornheiser, who worked together at The Washington Post, it’s your standard “let’s debate the foremost sports topics du jour” format. However, it must be said that Tony & Michael have been doing it longer & better than anyone else.

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

Mike & Mike. Congratulations to Greeny & Golic for capturing their second consecutive Sammy Award. This is comfort food television for any sports fan, as well as being very informative & entertaining. I’ll continue to look forward to every weekday between 6 & 10am as long as these guys are on the air.

 

 

 

To present our next award, please give a warm & hearty round of applause to sociopolitical pundit, bestselling author, and radio personality Glenn Beck. And the nominees are:

 

Biggest International News Story

 

 

Arab Spring

I will not even pretend to be an expert in foreign relations, but basically what this boils down to is a wave of civil disobedience that spread across the Middle East and resulted in the governments of 3 nations…Tunisia, Egypt, and Libya…being overthrown. The revolution in Egypt that eventually lead to the resignation of their President of 3 decades, Hosni Mubarak, probably got the most attention. 6 months later long time Libyan leader General Muammar Gaddafi was overthrown and eventually killed. Each uprising gave courage & energy to the next, and one wonders why the populations of those nations put up with evil dictatorships, corruption, and human rights atrocities for so long before finally deciding to stand up and do something about it.

 

Japan Earthquake/Tsunami/Nuclear Meltdown

Back in March Japan was hit with a 9.0 magnitude earthquake, said to be one of the five most powerful quakes on record since 1900. The earthquake generated 130 ft. tsunami waves. The tsunami triggered multiple nuclear meltdowns at several plants. All told nearly 16,000 people lost their lives and another 10,000 were injured or missing. The earthquake actually shifted the Earth on its axis somewhere between 4 & 10 inches.

 

The Greek Economic Crisis

I’m not a financial guru either, but apparently Greece is even worse at managing its finances than America. Other European nations banded together to bail out their Greek pals, enacting some strict spending rules in the process. However, it seems like that little trick hasn’t worked and the situation is still a mess. Predictably the citizens bore the brunt of the financial mismanagement by paying higher taxes and having salaries limited, and they didn’t care for that so there were protests and backlash there too.

 

Bin Laden Killed

On May 2, 2011 the decade long manhunt for the evil bastard who masterminded the September 11 Terrorist Attacks in 2001 ended when U.S. Special Forces raided his compound in Pakistan where he was “caught & compromised to a permanent end”. Giddy crowds of proud Americans gathered to celebrate in places like Times Square, Ground Zero, & outside The White House, which may have been somewhat overzealous and inappropriate but considering the death & destruction Bin Laden had perpetrated & perpetuated over the years was totally understandable.

 

The Royal Wedding

On April 29, 2011 Prince William, the eldest son of England’s Prince Charles and the late, nearly beatified & canonized Princess Diana, married his college sweetheart Kate Middleton. As usual those wacky Brits can’t just have a quiet, subtle little ceremony. They are still under the mistaken impression that they are royalty. Well…okay…they are royalty, but they somehow still seem to think that the distinction actually means something, which of course it doesn’t. Anyway, just like his Mom & Dad’s nuptials three decades ago, the world went nuts over the wedding of William & Kate, with apparently hundreds of millions of people watching the whole show on TV or The Internet. I just hope the marriage goes better than Chuck & Di’s, which we must recall ended in divorce and her dead carcass being splattered in an underpass during a high speed chase by paparazzi.

 

Rupert Murdoch/News of the World Hacking Scandal

Rupert Murdoch owns News Corp, which is the world’s 2nd largest media empire behind only Disney. News Corp owns various familiar businesses like Harper Collins Publishing, The New York Post, The Wall Street Journal, 20th Century Fox, Fox/FX television networks, Fox News Channel, Hulu, and a 15% stake in the Colorado Rockies, as well as a ton of newspapers in Britain & Australia. One of those newspapers was tabloid rag News of the World. In 2011 it was revealed that employees of this tabloid had somehow hacked into the phones & computers of a wide range of celebrities, politicians, and even victims of crimes & terrorism. If memory serves me correctly they even hacked into the phones of Britain’s Royal Family. Ain’t technology grand?? Anyway, the tabloid shut its doors and Murdoch’s credibility has suffered a bit, but otherwise business as usual carries on.

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

I hate to do it, but it’s a tie. Both the Japan Earthquake & the Death of Osama Bin Laden captured the attention & the hearts of a worldwide audience, and both events have far reaching implications & consequences that will extend beyond 2011. My heart goes out to the families of the dead in Japan, as well as the millions of victims who were hurt physically, financially, and on so many other levels. We also can hope that the end of Bin Laden’s existence has brought some sort of closure to the families of those lost on 9/11 and the many other heinous acts for which that monster was responsible.

 

 

 

Rarely does a person get to introduce an award named in their honor, but our next presenter will be doing exactly that. Please give an enthusiastic welcome to NBA living legend Charles Barkley. And the nominees are:

 

 

The Charles Barkley Memorial Role Model Award

 

Tony Larussa

I’m a sucker for “going out on top” stories, and Larussa certainly qualifies since retiring soon after leading the St. Louis Cardinals to a World Series title. Larussa managed in the big leagues for 32 years, but I have a feeling he will not be one of those guys who keeps “unretiring” every other year. He’s actually an attorney, and has mentioned that his post-retirement dream is to manage a book store. As much as I love my sports, I very much appreciate folks who seem to keep it in proper perspective and have the ability & desire to pursue other interests.

 

Hawkeye the Lab

Most web surfers probably saw the picture back in August of Hawkeye, the beloved chocolate Labrador retriever of Petty Officer Jon Tumilson, lying in front of his master’s coffin. Tumilson, a 35 year old Iowan, was a Navy SEAL whose helicopter was shot down by a grenade in Afghanistan on August 6. The photo of Hawkeye faithfully staying by his master’s side until the bitter end likely put a lump in the throats of most anyone with a heart, especially dog owners.

 

Mike Krzyzewski

Coach K. has been at the helm of the vaunted Duke basketball program for over three decades. Before that he was a player and a coach at Army, where he was mentored by the infamous Bobby Knight. He has won 4 national championships, been in 11 Final Fours, and lead the USA to a gold medal at the 2008 Summer Olympics. On November 15, 2011 he became college basketball’s all-time winningest coach, surpassing Knight with his 903rd victory. To my knowledge he has achieved all of this success the right way, without much controversy or any accusations of wrongdoing. And much like Tony Larussa, Krzyzewski appears to be an intelligent, well-rounded man of varied interests & solid character.

 

Navy SEAL Team Six

The United States Naval Special Warfare Development Group is a Special Forces counter-terrorism unit whose details are mostly classified. On May 2, 2011 two dozen members of the group conducted Operation Neptune Spear, in which Osama bin Laden, the evil bastard who masterminded the September 11, 2001 attacks that resulted in the tragic, senseless deaths of nearly 3000 Americans, was finally brought to justice. Personally I am in no way reluctant to celebrate the fact that a dirtbag like bin Laden no longer takes up valuable oxygen on this planet, and I would proudly shake the hand of each one of the brave soldiers involved in his demise.

 

Rep. Paul Ryan

I hesitate to nominate a politician for this award, but Ryan seems to be one of the few out there, atleast on a prominent national level, that is promoting genuine conservative principles. The 7 term Congressman from Wisconsin spent much of this past spring promoting his counterproposal to President Obama’s budget, a plan that would reform Medicare, effectively repeal the horrendous Obamacare fiasco, reduce spending, and lower taxes. Predictably liberals killed the bill in the Senate. However, Ryan still looks to be a rising star that may be shining beacon of hope for conservatives, assuming he doesn’t sell his soul like so many other elected officials.

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

Seal Team Six. God bless our men & women in uniform. Even though the battles of the past decade seem to be winding down, we know that there are still plenty of soldiers scattered in all corners of the world who put their lives on the line every day and spend months & years apart from their loved ones all so that we can continue to enjoy the freedom too many of us tend to take for granted.

 

 

 

 

This seems like the appropriate place to take another break. Please join us tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of the 2011 Sammy Awards!!

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The Trouble with Tebow

I suppose it is kind of obvious that for most sports fans teams and/or individual players fall into three categories.

 

We have our favorites. I have been a lifelong supporter of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Pittsburgh Pirates, and West Virginia Mountaineers. I graduated from Marshall University in Huntington, WV and so I cheer on my alma mater’s Thundering Herd. I like Nascar and root for Tony Stewart.

 

Then we have those teams or players we love to hate. Oftentimes it is a rival of our favorites. For example, I naturally loathe the Baltimore Ravens and Pitt Panthers. Other times our disdain is due to a variety of factors that might not really make any logical sense to anyone but ourselves. I detest the New York Yankees, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, New England Patriots, and Jeff Gordon even though they’ve never done anything to me personally.

 

And then there is the third category, which can best be described as “Who cares??”. The Iowa Hawkeyes are playing the Indiana Hoosiers this weekend?? I couldn’t possibly care less who wins or loses. Monday Night Football is featuring a matchup of the Chicago Bears vs. the San Francisco 49ers?? I’ll watch, but I really don’t care about the outcome except for how my fantasy teams are affected. Kevin Harvick won the race?? That’s nice for him, but it neither makes me happy nor upset.

 

However, we now have in our midst an individual that somehow doesn’t fit into any of these categories. He’s the proverbial enigma wrapped in a conundrum hidden inside a paradox. He’s a football player that is difficult to dislike because of his magnetic personality but just as impossible to embrace because of his apparent lack of skill. He’s someone that people want to defend against the haters because of the suspicious nature of the hatred, but a player that it is almost illogical to shield from criticism because, quite simply, the numbers don’t lie.

 

Tim Tebow was a great college football player. So great in fact that he won the 2007 Heisman Trophy and lead his Florida Gators to two national championships. But there have been tons of fantastic college football players…especially quarterbacks…that have gone on to accomplish nothing at the professional level. Troy Smith, Matt Leinart, Jason White, Eric Crouch, Chris Weinke, Danny Wuerffel, Gino Torretta, Ty Detmer, Andre Ware…all were QBs who were at the top of the heap in college and completely flamed out in the NFL. And so most thought it would be for Tebow. But it hasn’t quite worked out that way so far, even if logic says it should.

 

Tebow was inexplicably drafted in the 1st Round of the 2010 NFL Draft and a year & a half later has somehow become the starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos. The reason this story is so odd is because Tim Tebow is a starting NFL quarterback whose passing skills are so bad that he can rarely hit the broadside of a barn from 20 yards away. He could throw a pass from a boat in the middle of the ocean and somehow not hit water 80% of the time. Yet somehow, for a variety of reasons that make no sense and at the same time make all the sense in the world, Tebow is not only living the dream, he is winning.

 

Tebow does not fit into any of the categories previously mentioned, atleast for most people. Few people outside Colorado have given a damn about the Broncos since the retirement of John Elway over a decade ago, so for the vast majority of folks Tebow should fit into the “Who cares?” classification. But for some reason everyone does seem to care…one way or another.

 

Ever since his college days Tim Tebow has been a kind of larger than life folk hero, a guy filled with intangibles that, despite all evidence that should dictate a different result, just wins. On the flip side, his lack of apparent pro-level skill and the absolute overkill of hype heaped upon him by a salivating sports media has sparked an irrational hatred by a large portion of the populace. It is seemingly impossible to be ambivalent about Tebow…one either loves him or hates him, even though no one can really understand why anyone would actually do either.

 

A major factor in The Tebow Riddle is his Christian faith. In a world where hating on Jesus is as cool for some as gangsta rap, reality television, and little ribbons on your lapel Tim Tebow wears his faith on his sleeve and is an unapologetic Jesus lover. Therefore it stands to reason that a lot of people want to see him fail miserably no matter what, while fellow believers are more than willing to overlook his appalling lack of discernible ability. However, as a Christian myself I am not so sure the issue has as much to do with the constantly swirling controversy as much as some want to think. The problem is, without the easy scapegoat of faith in a humanistic world there is no rational explanation left.

 

So at the end of the day I am left with only my own opinions and neither a way or a desire to explain the motivations of others. I think that Tim Tebow was a fantastic college player that has no business being a starting quarterback on an NFL team. I think he can be a good change of pace option that can run the ball in for a touchdown from deep inside the red zone. That is his niche and there’s nothing wrong with that. I believe that he has reaped the benefits of being on a very bad team with low expectations. I think there are a lot of people that want to see him succeed because of his faith and as many that want him to fail because of it, but that the vast majority of folks are looking at things thru the prism of football. Those individuals either see a quarterback with frustratingly horrendous mechanics that in no way resemble what a professional QB should embody, or they see a unique, quirky, interesting change from the normal cookie cutter passers who might not have the proper throwing motion but possesses leadership abilities, toughness, and an infectious will to win. My most fervent desire is that someday soon Tim Tebow will slip into the same football oblivion that thousands of others have before him, because quite frankly no matter how much one wants to root for him because he seems like a genuinely good man it is almost impossible when talking heads like ESPN’s Skip Bayless relentlessly shove him down viewers’ throats. Idiots like Bayless have, in an effort to promote Tebow for whatever reason, unwittingly created a backlash against the poor guy. If the Broncos get to the playoffs or if Tim Tebow suddenly morphs into a Dan Marino/Peyton Manning clone then we might have something to talk about, but until then finding some inane reason to shoehorn Tebow into the conversation literally every single day is obnoxious and needs to stop. Plus I sincerely believe that he has a bigger mission to accomplish in life and all this football silliness is just delaying Tim Tebow from achieving his true destiny.

 

There…I’ve said my peace and expressed my opinion. There is no need for the topic of Tebow to grace these pages again until he actually does something noteworthy on a football field. And for that I am not holding my breath.

 

 

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A Look At The College Bowl Games

Much like other tasks this holiday season, I have waited until the last minute to take a gander at the muddled landscape of bowl games. We are on the eve of the first two of nearly three dozen mostly meaningless, hopefully entertaining gridiron clashes that range from the sublime to the ridiculous. Let’s take a look.

New Mexico

Fresno State                vs.        Wyoming

Fresno State is almost always fun to watch. I would place them on a tier about a half step below Boise St. as far as smaller schools with great potential in big games. Wyoming is one of those 6-6 teams that, under my benevolent dictatorship of college football, would never be rewarded for a .500 record. Fresno State wins easily.

St. Petersburg

UCF      vs.       Rutgers

This is basically a home game for Central Florida. I’ll take the Knights in a competitive contest.

New Orleans

Southern Miss                         vs.        Middle Tennessee

I don’t know enough about these teams to comment intelligently on the matchup, so I’ll go with my vibes, which are saying Southern Miss wins a game that no one will see because they’ll either be watching the Vikings/Panthers NFL game or whatever Christmas movies happen to be on TV.

Las Vegas

Oregon State               vs.        BYU

What’s not to love about this game?? It’s in Vegas, one of the coolest towns in the universe and it features two good teams who actually deserve to be in a postseason game. On paper BYU looks better, but Oregon St. is battle tested in the tough Pac 10. I think this will be a high scoring shootout, which is always great fun. In the end I’ll go with the Beavers in a squeaker.

Poinsettia

Utah    vs.        California

Another good game. I’m impressed. The loss of RB Jahvid Best to a spectacular concussion will have a deleterious effect on the Golden Bears, so the nod goes to the Utes.

Hawaii

Nevada            vs.        SMU

When I was a kid in the early 80’s SMU was a very good team featuring The Pony Express, i.e. the running back tandem of future NFL legend Eric Dickerson and Craig James. A few years later the football program was given a “death penalty” for cheating, aka paying players. The death penalty was really only a 2 year hiatus, but its effects have been long lasting. More than 2 decades later SMU has finally clawed their way back to respectability. To be honest both of these teams are already winners…they’re spending the holidays in Hawaii for pete’s sake. As far as the game, I hate to say it but I think the Mustangs much desired fairy tale ending won’t happen in paradise, as Nevada is just too good.

Little Caesars

Marshall          vs.        Ohio

Merry Christmas gentlemen…your success on the field prompted Santa to reward you with a trip to Detroit in December. Full disclosure…I am a proud alumnus of Marshall University. I was there when Chad Pennington took his very first snap, and I had the pleasure of watching both Randy Moss and Byron Leftwich play for the Herd. This game probably doesn’t interest about 95% of the football lovin’ masses, but I’ll be watching and cheering my team onto victory.

Meineke Car Care

Pitt       vs.        North Carolina

Pitt’s fan base doesn’t travel and this is basically a home game for the Tar Heels. Last year North Carolina lost a thriller to West Virginia, so they’ll be seeking retribution and I think they’ll get it.

Emerald

Boston College                        vs.       USC

Wow, what a disappointing season for Southern Cal. They aren’t used to playing in December bowl games for sure. I think this is the first time they haven’t been in the BCS mix in 8 years. Meanwhile, BC has to be licking their chops at the thought of taking on what most consider one of the top teams of the decade. The study in contrasts…motivation vs. no motivation…is stunning, and I think that’s exactly what the Eagles will do. Boston College by a touchdown.

Music City

Kentucky          vs.        Clemson

Isn’t Kentucky a basketball school??  Anyway, Clemson has outstanding RB CJ Spiller, and I think he’s the difference. Clemson should win comfortably.

Independence

Texas A&M     vs.       Georgia

Georgia had a very disappointing season. A lot of folks, including me, had them highly ranked in the preseason. But losing a star RB and QB was just too much loss for the Bulldogs. My vibes are saying the Aggies win a very close, competitive game.

EagleBank

UCLA                vs.        Temple

I’m fascinated by this game. First of all, I thought there was a financial crisis and all the banks were going belly up, so how is one affording to sponsor a bowl game?? Secondly, it’s in Washington DC. Ah, the plot thickens. And finally, making their first bowl appearance in 20 years are…the Temple Owls. I thought they’d dropped down a division or disbanded the football program. The opponents are UCLA, who make their way to DC from the other side of the country. That, I believe, will be a huge factor. Temple will be pumped and out to prove something, UCLA will be 3000 miles from home with few fans in the seats. Temple wins a close game.

Champs Sports

Miami                         vs.        Wisconsin

I sure didn’t see the revival of Hurricanes football coming, atleast not yet. Good for them. Wisconsin plays in the Big Ten so their games tend to not be very exciting or remotely interesting, but I do like the fact that they play good old fashioned smashmouth football. I think this game will be won with a big play or two, and that is more likely to be pulled off by Miami.

Humanitarian

Bowling Green            vs.        Idaho

I’m not sure why this game even exists. The only thing I can think of is that some television pinheads like the idea of a bowl game played on the unique blue turf. Or maybe it’s a conspiracy lead by Big Potato. Anyway, I couldn’t possibly care less, as this may be the least interesting bowl game in history. I’ll give the nod to the Vandals.

Holiday

Arizona            vs.        Nebraska

Now THIS is a good game, one I will set the reminder on the remote for. Those who prefer high powered offensive shootouts may disagree, because this one is likely to be a defensive struggle. I’ll take the under at 35 points total and give the edge to Nebraska.

Armed Forces

Houston           vs.       Air Force

Speaking of shootouts…here you go. The over on this one should be 70 points easily, and I’m going with Houston.

Sun

Oklahoma       vs.        Stanford

Oh what might have been. Oklahoma certainly had higher hopes for this season, but a knee injury to QB Sam Bradford ended those dreams early. Meanwhile, Stanford burst onto the scene with record setting RB Toby Gerhardt, a battering ram reminiscent of Jerome Bettis or Earl Campbell. Word on the street is that Stanford’s talented freshman QB Andrew Luck is injured and may not play in this game, which would be a difference maker. If Luck plays Stanford wins, if he does not then the pick is Oklahoma.

Texas

Navy                vs.        Missouri

I know Texas is special (my best friend lives there and tells me how awesome it is), but why does it deserve its own bowl game?? Playing in The Big 12 makes Missouri a bit more battle tested than Navy, so I’ll go with the Tigers.

Insight

Minnesota       vs.        Iowa State

If you are curious, this game is named after an information technology company in Arizona, it does not mean that the winners of the game will suddenly gain a heretofore unknown level of self awareness or perception. The game matches two 6-6 teams, which itself is an atrocity. They should rename it the Mediocre Bowl. As a matter of fact, because of the level of mundaneness involved, it doesn’t deserve the honor of me picking a winner.

Chick-fil-A

Virginia Tech   vs.        Tennessee

This used to be called The Peach Bowl. At one time it was even played on New Year’s Day. I love Chick-fil-A as much as the next guy, but the former name needs to return ASAP. In the meantime, a completely overrated Hokie squad takes on a Volunteers team lead by new coach Lane Kiffin, who’s spent months trying to act like a new version of Steve Spurrier and pulled it off quite nicely. I’m picking Tennessee in an upset.

Outback

Northwestern             vs.        Auburn

Northwestern is playing in a New Year’s Day bowl game?? Really?? If the Wildcats win this one and the New England Patriots miss the playoffs ESPN’s Mike Greenberg might just keel over from the ensuing apoplectic pleasure. Fortunately I think Greeny’s health, if not his everlasting happiness, is safe because Auburn will win this game.

Capital One

Penn State       vs.       LSU

No bowl game should ever…EVER…be named after a credit card company. That’s just cruel. On the field will be two teams who probably had visions of something a little grander at the start of the season, but both fell short of expectations. No one wants to see Joe Paterno exit in the politely forced way Bobby Bowden is leaving Florida State, so I think his players will be ready to rock n’ roll. This may be the sleeper game of the entire bowl season, a back and forth contest decided in the final minute. A flip of the coin gives the nod to Penn State.

Gator

West Virginia              vs.       Florida State

Florida State is undoubtedly a popular sentimental choice among the masses given that this is Coach Bowden’s final game. If he were playing most any other team I might roll with it, but I am a lifelong Mountaineer fan who lives less than an hour from the school. But above and beyond all that, the only reason anyone would pick Florida State is because of the romantic, nostalgic aspect. If most pundits who are following their hearts were truly honest with themselves they’d know deep down that West Virginia is the logical pick. I say the Mountaineers win it going away, with Bowden having that sad “it’s over” look on his face the entire 4th quarter, although if I were to write a script I think it’d be fun to have the Seminoles in it to the end when they line up for a last second game winning field goal only to see it sail wide right. But really…thanks for the memories Bobby.

Rose

Ohio State       vs.        Oregon

Ohio State is another overrated team. They won 10 games, but among those wins were victories over Illinois, Indiana, New Mexico State, Toledo, and Michigan…five teams with 20 wins among them. Meanwhile, Oregon battled through the Pac 10 with big wins over Utah, California, Arizona, and USC. Oregon wins The Granddaddy in grand fashion.

Sugar

Cincinnati        vs.        Florida

Cincinnati is a Big East team who just lost their coach to Notre Dame, so no one expects anything out of them. Meanwhile, the sports media should be tested for both VD and arthritis as much time as they spend on their knees fellatiating Florida and QB Tim Tebow (who apparently will be the only disciple Jesus will need upon His return). If Brian Kelly would have stuck around in Cincinnati I would have picked the upset for sure, but the coaching situation makes me hesitant. There is a precedent though. In the 2008 Fiesta Bowl n-o-o-n-e picked West Virginia over Oklahoma. The Mountaineers had just suffered a shocking loss to an abysmal Pitt team that cost them an opportunity to play for the national title and then watched their evil, despicable, dirtbag coach lie through his teeth en route to a new gig at Michigan (how’s that working out Fraudriguez??). The situation served as motivation for West Virginia. Will somewhat similar circumstances provide the impetus for Cincinnati to defeat the Gators?? I’m leaning toward “no”, as much as that sucks. Florida’s defense is just too tough.

International

South Florida               vs.        Northern Illinois

Why in the blue hell are there eight games being played AFTER New Year’s Day?? And why is one of them in Canada?? I’m picking Northern Illinois in an upset.

Papajohns.com

South Carolina             vs.        UConn

I’m a big fan of pizza, really I am. But naming two bowl games after pizza joints is ridiculous. The sentimental choice is UConn, a team whose season has been eventful and not in a good way. But when the coach on the opposing sideline is Steve Spurrier the task becomes quite difficult. This may be another sleeper game that comes down to the end. Connecticut has the experience edge in those sorts of games…the experience of seeing them slip from their grasp. I’ll take the Gamecocks in a squeaker.

Cotton

Oklahoma State          vs.       Ole Miss

The season can be called a success for both teams, no matter what happens in this game. Oklahoma Ste went downhill a bit after the suspension of star WR Dez Bryant, and his absence will prove harmful here as well. I’m going with the Rebels in a competitive game.

Liberty

Arkansas          vs.       East Carolina

Once upon a time the Liberty Bowl was a middle-of-the-road December bowl game. Now All the sudden it’s a post-New Year’s contest. Odd. This looks to be a high scoring affair with no time for such trifles as defense. Arkansas has the QB everyone’s talking about, but East Carolina has the better overall team and has something to prove. Look for the Pirates to steal this one.

Alamo

Michigan State            vs.        Texas Tech

Michigan State suspended 8 players for this game after they got into a physical tete-a-tete with some frat boys. That’ll kill their chances, along with any chance this had of being a watchable game. Texas Tech wins in a blowout.

Fiesta

Boise State      vs.        TCU

The powers-that-be are pretty slick. They couldn’t take the chance that two schools from non-BCS conferences would score two huge wins against traditional power conference schools, so they pitted the two intruders against one another. Outrageous, but savvy. Both of these teams are undefeated but never had a snowball’s chance to play for the championship, all the evidence anyone should need to see that the BCS system is poppycock. One of them will remain unbeaten after this game and have a legitimate gripe. The game itself should be highly entertaining and deserving of its Monday night January 4th time slot, all alone on the football landscape, the center of the sports world with all eyes focused on it. Boise has experience on this kind of big stage, TCU does not. That’s the difference and why I’m picking Boise State to win.

Orange

Iowa                vs.        Georgia Tech

This game might get overlooked. It’s on January 5, which is right around the time some may be reaching a football hangover and have that “let’s just get it over already” attitude. There are way too many of these games and they are stretched out too far, even for die hard pigskin fans like me. And if Boise/TCU is as exciting as it has the potential to be folks may still be talking about it. Also, let’s be honest…these aren’t the two most exciting teams in the universe and they don’t play in the two sexiest conferences. Big 10 football is plodding and prosaic, the ACC is increasingly irrelevant. But let’s be fair. These are two very good teams who should have a good game. I think Iowa’s line will wear out Georgia Tech in the 4th quarter and seize control, giving the Hawkeyes the victory.

GMAC

Central Michigan        vs.        Troy

One more game whose existence seems unexplainable. Alabama already has the Liberty Bowl…does it really need another postseason game?? Anyway, the people in charge of this thing were hoping Notre Dame and its 6-6 record would participate, but the arrogant bastards in South Bend decided they’d rather stay home then play in a “lesser” bowl game. Sure they used the fact that they’d just fired their coach as an excuse, but that’s a load of Barbara Streisand. As a matter of fact, Central Michigan is going to be lead by an interim coach because theirs, Butch Jones, is leaving for Cincinnati. Why?? Because Cincinnati’s coach, Brian Kelly, is leaving for…Notre Dame. What a tangled web those catholic boys weave, huh?? On the field Central Michigan is clearly the superior team. I don’t think the coaching carousel will affect them too much, and I think they’ll roll to victory.

National Championship Game

Texas vs. Alabama

I can’t add much to the discussion that hasn’t or won’t be said by a multitude of talking heads in the coming weeks. We’ve known for many weeks that this would be the matchup to decide the title, the only mystery being whether it’d be Alabama or Florida. It was a three team race nearly all season. Whether or not that is fair to teams like Cincinnati, TCU, and Boise State is a debate for another time, but all things considered this looks to be a fairly tantalizing matchup. Texas looked pretty shaky in its last two games against Texas A&M and Nebraska. They won the Big 12 Championship over Nebraska on a last second field goal that may or may not have been aided by a friendly clock operator. Meanwhile, Alabama legitimized its ranking by destroying Florida and Saint Tebow in the SEC Championship. The end result of those two title games was that some of the luster of this game was off before it ever started. Most are assuming the Tide will roll and claim the not-as-mythical-as-it-used-to-be national championship, and I concur. Alabama just looks to be the more complete team. Will it be a blowout?? No. But will it be a game the average fan will easily recall a few years from now?? Probably not.

The Sammy Claus Wish List

Being Sammy Claus is kind of like being Frank Sinatra Jr. or the Vice-President…it’s a nice name that wields no real authority. However, in hopes that the real Santa may take a break from supervising the elves and doing important flight prep by surfing The Internet and being a faithful reader of The Manofesto, I have prepared my own list. Go ahead Big Guy…check it twice, verify who has been naughty or nice. But I am pretty sure my own reconnaissance has been thorough and you’ll find everything here in order. And since it is better to give than to receive (Acts 20:35) I am not asking for anything myself…well, atleast not much. My focus here is on the needs and desires of others.

 

The Marshall Thundering Herd…..a new football coach that will lead my alma mater’s gladiators of the gridiron back to the success we had in the 1990’s. I grant you there was some good fortune back then with future NFL players Chad Pennington, Troy Brown, Randy Moss, and Byron Leftwich…and there may have even been some minor cheating. But there’s nothing that says that level of achievement cannot be attained again and more future pro caliber players can’t make a stop in Huntington.


John & Kate and Heidi & Spencer…..sterility and a complete lack of media coverage


The Economy…..tax cuts & job growth. I know it’s a long shot with a socialist President and a liberal Congress, but we’ll deal with those issues in the coming years.


Kanye West…..the most spectacular career crash and burn of all time!!


The WV Mountaineers…..a new special teams coach. I have softened my stance on canning head coach Bill Stewart, but Stew doubles as the special teams coach and it hasn’t worked. A 9-3 finish was surprisingly decent given the lack of energy, skill, and discipline shown at times this season, but a few special teams plays probably cost the Eers atleast 1, possibly 2 additional victories.


The Republican Party…..a triumphant return to conservative values and the emergence of a formidable group of candidates for the 2012 Presidential campaign. Unfortunately I am not talking about Sarah Palin, who is damaged goods and I believe unelectable.


Adam Lambert…..irrelevance. Really dude, get the hell off my TV.


Myself, The Owl, Greg, Sealey, and Slack…..a memorable and dare I say legen…wait for it…wait for it…dary trip to Vegas this summer. This is the year gentlemen. Seriously…I mean it this time!!


Ford Motor Company…..continued success as a non-government run business


Michael Jackson’s children…..a happy, healthy, normal life while enjoying the boatload of cash your freak of a father left you


Carrie Underwood…..the love of a good man…a man that is single, has his own blog, and lives in northcentral WV. Call me. Please.


Algore…..complete , irrefutable, 100% proof that global warming is poppycock


Susan Boyle…..a musical repertoire that goes beyond I Dreamed A Dream


Coach Rich Fraudriguez…..continued ineptitude and complete failure not only at Michigan but wherever you go and in whatever you do professionally and personally. You are the lowest form of excrement the human race has ever produced and not worthy of sharing the same oxygen as even the most vile and wicked piece of dung imaginable.


Universal Health Care…..complete and total defeat


Tiger Woods…..a case of condoms, a good lawyer, and a full time chauffeur


David Letterman…..cancellation


Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi…..facial movement. Seriously lady, lay off the botox.


Tim Tebow, soon-to-be former Florida Gators QB…..a case of tissues, because the crying will likely continue at the NFL Draft and on into your rookie season there when you figure out you’re really not THAT good (as if Alabama didn’t drive that point home already)


Jay Leno…..better ratings


Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, & Glen Beck…..continued success teaching the masses about conservatism


Phil Mickelson…..success in overtaking that dirtbag Tiger Woods as the worlds #1 golfer