Author: sammano

To TV or Not to TV??

Okay, so…y’all know I’m not above borrowing a concept I’ve seen on social media and putting my own special spin on it for The Manoverse. This time the inspiration comes not from Pinterest but from Facebook. A former co-worker of mine posted it, and basically one is supposed to just indicate which of these television shows we’ve seen more than ten episodes of with a lil heart emoji. That’s a cool idea, but I think I can improve upon it with pithy comments and my own unique wit. I don’t watch as much television as I used to, and this exercise not only proves that but shows exactly why. Enjoy.

 

 

 

My 600LB Life

I’ve been overweight my entire life. There are legit reasons for that (the main one being that I really like food), and so I sympathize with the struggle of others. But no…I have no desire to watch a reality show about the topic and be “entertained” by other peoples’ problems.

  

911

I don’t know…is this another reality show?? Does it follow first responders to 911 calls?? Or is it a fictional show built around such situations?? Either way, I am not entertained by such things.

  

13 Reasons Why

I remember hearing about the show. Something about teen suicide. No thanks. I’m not a teenager and have no teens in my family. If it’s a good show with an educational message that can positively impact the lives of young viewers that’s great, but it’s not for me.

 

 

A Million Little Things

Almost. I nearly got sucked into this ensemble drama because the ads had a very This Is Us kind of vibe and I am familiar with some in the cast. However, I chose not to become interested because I knew it’d be the kind of show that demands a heavy emotional commitment and that’s just not where I am in my life right now.

  

American Horror Story

Nah…horror just isn’t my thing.

  

Angel

Wasn’t it a spinoff from Buffy the Vampire Slayer?? I didn’t watch the first show, so no…I didn’t care about the spinoff.

 

 Bates Motel

I assume it is loosely based on Psycho?? Once again…not my cup o’ tea. I prefer to laugh.

  

Bitten

I have no idea. It’s either about snakes or vampires. Either way I have zero interest.

  

The Blacklist

I dig James Spader. He’s quirky…kind of a knockoff Jeff Goldblum. But spies & intrigue & the whole “let’s rip off Hannibal Lechter” vibe I got when previews of the show first aired a few years ago just don’t frost my cupcake.

 

 

Bloodline

No idea

 

 Blue Bloods

Tom Selleck is cool, but police procedurals rarely interest me and I’ve never watched a single episode.

  

Bones

I don’t even know what the show is about.

 

Breaking Bad

I see it constantly lauded as one of the best TV shows of the 21st century, but I never understood the popularity of a story about a high school chemistry teacher who becomes a drug dealer.

  

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Nope. Vampires. Zombies. Werewolves. I don’t find any of it the least bit interesting.

 

Californication

Wasn’t that a Red Hot Chili Peppers album??

  

Castle

No…just…no.

 

Castle Rock

I assume it is somehow connected to or inspired by Stephen King?? I don’t know. I’ve enjoyed some of King’s books, but have no interest in a TV show.

 

 

Catfish

I enjoy eating catfish, but knowing what the word means outside of that I don’t believe the show would interest me.

 

 Chicago Fire / Chicago Med / Chicago P.D.

I vaguely recall watching an episode or two of one of these shows…not sure which one. But again…medical dramas & police procedurals have never been something I enjoyed all that much.

  

Criminal Minds

Nope

  

Dexter

I’ve heard people say it’s a good show, but a serial killer?? I’m telling y’all…I need to laugh!!

  

Dr. Pimple Popper

Eww. Is it a medical thing?? A kiddie show?? I have no clue, and I don’t care to know.

 

 Dr Who

I have several friends who really dig Dr. Who, and it seems like the kind of nerdvana that I should be into. It is my understanding that there’s time travel involved, which is cool. But here’s the thing…the original incarnation of Dr. Who premiered a decade before I was even born, and it was a British show. By the time it was revived and available in America (16 years after it had originally ended) I already had preconceived notions and never even thought of checking it out. Don’t misunderstand…people can change and should be flexible. However, I think by the time we are in our 30s the die is cast as far as what kinds of entertainment…TV, music, books, movies…we tend to gravitate toward, and Dr. Who seems to have come along both too early and too late for me.

 

 

Empire

I hadn’t given a second thought to Empire until last year when that idiot actor was in the news for faking an attack on himself. That whole story makes me thrice as glad that I never watched.

  

ER

Once upon a time it was thought to be the best show on television. It launched George Clooney into superstardom and jumpstarted the careers of several others. But it’s a hospital drama, and I don’t do hospital shows. I did watch a handful of episodes in the course of the dozen seasons ER was on the air, and it was a well written program with a top notch cast, but it’s just not my thing.

  

Family Guy

There was a time in my life when Family Guy might have been right up my alley, but apparently by the time the show premiered in 1999 that time had passed. I’m probably missing out on something I’d enjoy, but it seems a bit late in the game to give a rat’s petoot now.

 

 

Friends

Yes yes yes…I loved Friends and still watch the occasional rerun. I am amused by things I read about how offensive Friends is to millennials. I suppose GenX wasn’t all that woke back in the day, and that’s fine by me. We know how to chill out & have some fun without getting offended by every damn thing.

 

 

Fuller House

Yes…I like Fuller House. There, I said it!! Is the acting bad & the storylines cheesy?? Sure. But that’s okay. Not everything has to be award-winning, ripped from the headlines, or deep & meaningful. Pointless fun is alright on occasion.

 

 

Game of Thrones

I tried to read the first book in the Game of Thrones series and made it less than ten pages before realizing that I’d rather take a nap, therefore I never even bothered with the television show.

 

 

 

Gossip Girl

Nah…cause I’m a dude.

 

 

Ghost Adventures

I just can’t get into anything ghost related. I don’t find it compelling entertainment.

 

 

Grey’s Anatomy

I actually did watch the first season…maybe two…of Grey’s Anatomy. It was good…and I’m sure it still is 15 years later. But I drifted away early on and just never got back into it.

 

 

Gilmore Girls

Nah…I don’t think I was the target demo for that show.

 

 

Glee

No, because I have taste. I always imagined Glee as kind of the love child of Cop Rock & Beverly Hills 90210.

 

 

Hart of Dixie

Never heard of it.

 

 

Hawaii Five-0

I assume we are talking about the reboot that premiered in 2010 and not the original that aired in the 1970’s. In that case, yes I watched the first season of the new show, but after that lost interest and have no idea what’s been happening the past 8 or 9 years.

 

 

 

House of Cards

Surprisingly enough, no…I’ve never seen a single episode. I don’t care what the PC Police say…Kevin Spacey is freakin’ brilliant, so I’m not sure why I never bothered with this particular show.

 

 

House

Nope. I’ve been told that I’d enjoy it. I’m not sure if that’s because the main character is loosely based on Sherlock Holmes (who I adore), or because he is a grumpy old curmudgeon (which I am too), but for some reason the show was recommended to me more than once. Unfortunately, my aversion to medical dramas is like a shield on a starship that’s only down every once in a great while.

 

 

How I Met Your Mother

Oh boy…where do I begin?? I LOVED HIMYM. It was right up there on par with Friends. I love a good mystery so I was highly invested, especially in the last few seasons. But then came one of the worst final episodes in television history. After finally meeting The Mother (portrayed by the enchanting Cristin Milioti) toward the end of the series we are given a quick fast forward with the highlights of Ted & Tracy’s relationship, ultimately finding out that in the “present” day of 2030 (when the framing device is set) The Mother is dead and Ted is ready to revisit his long dormant relationship with former flame Robin. Oh yes…Robin. HIMYM spent the last few seasons building up an unlikely romance & eventual marriage between Robin and lecherous Barney Stinson, only to throw it all away in a “blink & you’ll miss it” hot second in the finale. All the character growth that we experienced with Barney is flippantly discarded when Barney & Robin divorce and he embarks on a quest to sleep with 31 women in the space of a month, a plan that goes awry when the final conquest gets pregnant. Look, I’m a sucker for happy endings, but I also know that life doesn’t work like that. To some degree I almost understand what the show’s creators were going for. My father always says that death is part of life, so writing that aspect into the show would be understandable…except for the fact that HIMYM is a freakin’ half hour sitcom. We don’t need deep & meaningful. Just give us our damn happy ending…Ted & Tracy and Barney & Robin all live happily ever after. But nnnnooooooo…they couldn’t do that!! I swore in the immediate aftermath of the finale in 2014 that I would never watch a rerun of the show, and for six years I’ve kept that vow.

 

How to Get Away with Murder

Not the least bit interested.

 

I Zombie

Is that like an iPhone for dead people?? I don’t know.

 

 

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

I’ve read alot of comments about it thru the years, but have never given it a whirl. The cast looks top notch (I rather enjoy Danny DeVito’s work), but it’s just something I’ve never given a chance, probably to my detriment.

 

 

Law & Order SVU

Nope. I’ve never watched any of the Law & Order shows. I mean really…why the hell would I be entertained by a program with the word “victims” right in the title??

 

 

Lost Girl

I mean, I hope they find her…but no.

 

 

Making A Murderer

Our culture’s fascination with killing & death mystifies me.

 

 

Manifest

Isn’t that one of those Lost knockoffs that the network will lose patience with and cancel, leaving fans with no resolution?? No thanks. That’s one of the reasons I’m so hesitant to become invested in much on television nowadays.

 

 Mom

Sorry, but I just don’t understand how generational substance abuse can be sitcom fodder.

 

Nailed It

Is it one of those home improvement/renovation shows on HGTV?? I honestly don’t know.

 

NCIS / NCIS New Orleans / NCIS Los Angeles

Nope. Just like the Law & Order shows and the CSI shows the whole NCIS thing has never frosted my cupcake.

 

 

New Girl

I’d love to meet a new gal. Hell, I’d like to meet any gal (within acceptable parameters). But in real life…not on television.

 

Once Upon a Time

In a land far, far away…

I have no idea.

 

One Tree Hill

I was really into One Tree Hill for 2 or 3 seasons. It reminded me of Dawson’s Creek, which is meant as a compliment. Unfortunately, TV shows about high school students tend to grow stale when the characters graduate, and I have no idea what went on with the show in its last half dozen years.

 

 

Orange is the New Black

Women in prison. No thanks. And please don’t take that as a sexist remark. I have no interest in any kind of show centered around prison.

 

Ozark

Never heard of it.

 

Parenthood

In 1988 there was a film called Parenthood with an all-star cast…Steve Martin, Mary Steenburgen, Jason Robards, Keanu Reeves, Rick Moranis, & a very young Joaquin Phoenix, all directed by Ron Howard. It was a good flick that garnered two Academy Award nominations: Best Song (Randy Newman) and Best Supporting Actress (Dianne Wiest). In 1990 Parenthood was adapted for television with the same characters but a whole new cast, including David Arquette, Ed Begley Jr., Thora Birch, & a young Leonardo DiCaprio (portraying the character played by Phoenix in the film). That show only lasted for one season, which is a shame because it wasn’t bad. Then in 2010 NBC decided to revive the general concept of Parenthood, albeit with a whole new set of characters and a more 21st century angsty kind of vibe. I really liked the original film, and enjoyed the first TV show, but by the time the second show came about I was almost 40 years old and not all that entertained by angst anymore. I have enough anxiety & torment in my real life…I’m not amused by it in movies or on television. The cast (Craig T. Nelson, Bonnie Bedelia, Monica Potter, Peter Krause, Lauren Graham) was terrific, and I did watch a few episodes in the course of six seasons, but it was never something I was going to invest in completely.

 

Pretty Little Liars

I don’t think I’m the target demo, and that’s fine with me.

 

Reign

I have no clue. I’m guessing there are dragons, swords, & kings battling over…whatever it is that they battle over. Those kinds of stories can make interesting books, but they don’t seem to translate well to television.

 

Riverdale

On the surface a live action, soapy reimagining of the comics starring Archie, Veronica, Jughead, & Betty sounds intriguing, and perhaps if I’d known about it before its launch a few years ago I may have checked it out. Alas, I had no idea it existed for two years because it’s on The CW, and let’s be honest…most of us forget The CW exists because they do a terrible job of promoting their network and its TV shows. So now we are four seasons in and the ship has likely sailed.

 

Roseanne / The Conners

I didn’t care for the original incarnation of Roseanne back in the 90’s, and a couldn’t possibly care less about the reboot that launched a couple of years ago, despite the titular star bucking the Hollywood lockstep and “coming out” as a Trump supporter. I wasn’t going to get sucked into that tug-of-war. Like everyone else I had my opinions when Roseanne Barr was fired from her own show for a completely innocuous tweet, and that debacle just reinforced my lack of interest in the whole thing.

 

 

Santa Clarita Diet

I’ve battled weight issues my entire life, to the point that I’ve kind of given up. Diets just don’t seem to work for me. I’m almost certain that the show has zero to do with food or weight loss, but I have absolutely no desire to research what it is about, what channel it’s on, or who it stars.

Scandal

If I was going to get into a political soap opera I probably would have chosen House of Cards, but I chose neither. I think the truth is that The West Wing spoiled all political dramas for me because nothing can ever live up to that level of greatness.

 

Secret Life of the American Teenager

Okay…confession time. I actually watched this show for a bit during its first season in 2008. It’s from the same folks who’d created 7th Heaven, a show that I loved in the late 90’s thru its decade long run that ended shortly before Secret Life premiered. The two programs shared a similar vibe, and I was drawn in by the cast, which included 80’s Brat Pack queen Molly Ringwald (as a Mom!!). But I quickly lost interest somewhere in the midst of the second season.

 

Shameless

That was a really underrated song released by Billy Joel in the late 80’s, with a popular cover performed by Garth Brooks a few years later. Oh…it’s a television show too?? I had no idea.

 

 

Sons of Anarchy

That’d be an excellent name for a wrestling tag team. As far as the television show goes, I’ve never seen it and have no plans for that to change.

 

Stranger Things

I’ve heard good things. I had every intention of checking it out. But now, with the show preparing to release its fourth season, I am 24 hour long episodes behind and that just seems like too big of a mountain to climb at this point. Never say never though…maybe I’ll get into it long after it’s over, which isn’t my normal modus operandi.

 

Station 19

I have no idea.

 

South Park

I gave South Park a whirl back in the day, believing it to be a worthy heir to the throne abdicated by Beavis & Butt-Head. I suppose my entertainment palate matured just a bit in those years, so I quickly lost interest.

 

Supernatural

I used to believe I was a sci-fi fan, but I’ve come to realize that I am very selective about the kind of sci-fi in which I invest my time, and Supernatural just didn’t make the cut.

 

Teen Mom

Call me old-fashioned, but I just don’t believe that teenage pregnancy is appropriate fodder for reality television. I am not a fan of reality TV in the first place, and shows like this are among the worst offenders. I don’t understand people who are entertained by the very real & difficult circumstances of others.

 

The 100

100 what?? I need more information.

 

The Tudors

The only Tudors I care about is Tudor’s Biscuit World, home of The Thundering Herd, a delicious breakfast biscuit with scrambled egg, cheese, sausage, & a hash brown.

 

 

The Big Bang Theory

Yes, yes, yes!! I LOVED The Big Bang Theory. I faithfully watched new episodes for a dozen seasons on CBS, and for the past several years reruns on TBS a few nights a week for 2 or 3 hours at a time helped fill some lonely nights for me. I was sad when CBS cancelled the show, but if I’m being honest the quality of the writing had dipped noticeably in the final few seasons. The finale was well done, and surprisingly I haven’t been all that interested in the TBS reruns since last spring.

 

The Fosters

Is it on Freeform?? I believe it’s on Freeform, and for me Freeform is a place to watch old movies, especially during the Christmas season. It is not a channel I click on for original programming.

 

The Good Doctor

Okay…so he’s a doctor, but he’s autistic. That’s nice. But it’s yet another medical drama, and I just can’t do it. I nearly gave it a shot only because of the presence of Richard Schiff in the cast. Back in the day Schiff brilliantly portrayed Toby Ziegler on The West Wing, and I loved that show. But at the end of the day I decided to leave the memories alone and pass on The Good Doctor.

 

 

The Handmaid’s Tale

I know very little about the show, but from what I’ve been able to glean it seems like kind of a downer, the kind of thing that critics fawn all over and awards shows shower with praise, but regular folks in flyover country just don’t see the big deal.

 

The Last Kingdom

I have no idea.

 

The Office

I’m way late to the party on this one. First, I have to explain something. I grew up in the 70’s & 80’s, a high water era for multi-camera sitcoms, which is the more traditional format. In the past decade we’ve seen the rise of single camera sitcoms, meaning there is no live audience or laugh track. Since I came of age with multi-cams as the norm that’s what I’m used to. I need a live audience and/or a laugh track. I have had a difficult time adjusting to single camera sitcoms and oftentimes reject such programs right out of the box. Perhaps I need to be a bit more flexible, but I’m just being honest about my experience up until now. It is for these reasons that I never even gave The Office a second thought when it premiered in 2005. I adore the 1999 cult film Office Space, so The Office would seem to be right in my wheelhouse, but I never gave it a chance. However, a few things happened in the ensuing years. Steve Carell became a movie star in films that I rather enjoy. Other stars of The Office went on to have solid careers in movies & television…folks like Jenna Fischer, Ed Helms, & John Krasinski. Internet memes became a thing, many of them featuring characters from The Office. Friends & family began making references related to the show. And now…finally…nearly seven years after it ended its run on NBC, I have begun watching reruns on Netflix.

 

The Originals

Original what?? I don’t know, and it shall remain a mystery.

 

The Simpsons

I may have missed the boat on The Simpsons. I was 17 years old & in my senior year of high school when it premiered in 1989. Perhaps I thought I was too cool for an animated show. Maybe there was something else in that time slot that I preferred to watch (this was way before DVR). I don’t recall exactly why I never got into The Simpsons, but at some point, as I heard more & more about its sardonic humor and funny characters, I began to realize that maybe I’d misjudged it. However, by that time it was way too late. I’m the kind of person who is either all in from the very beginning or not in at all. I may lose interest in a show a few years into its run, but rarely do I begin watching something that I’ve already missed multiple seasons of. I also don’t think that anyone would have ever predicted that The Simpsons would still be going three decades later, which is another reason why I feel like I may have missed out on something I might have liked.

 

 

The Sinner

I am assuming it’s either preachy or dark or both. Either way I’m not interested.

 

The Vampire Diaries

Vampires?? Nope.

 

The Walking Dead

Zombies?? No thanks. I realize that a lot of folks are really into it, but I’m not nor ever will be one of them.

 

The Witcher

Never heard of it.

 

This Is Us

Once upon a time I adored This Is Us. For the first two seasons I was glued to my television every Tuesday night. The mystery of when & how Jack Pearson died was riveting. The show was well-written with a top notch cast. I’ve had a Mandy Moore fetish for many years. Back in the day my friend Stacy would call me whenever A Walk to Remember was on television and I was usually already watching it. At any rate, something happened in the fall of 2018. This Is Us began a story arc about Jack’s tour of duty in Vietnam, and I decided to change the channel to WWE Smackdown. I DVRed This Is Us and told myself I’d catch up eventually, but before long I had about a dozen episodes recorded and knew I wasn’t going to invest that much time in getting up to speed, so I just decided I was no longer interested in the show. Perhaps someday I’ll revisit it.

 

True Blood

Vampires?? No.

 

True Detective

Nah. I’ve got a few friends who are really into this new wave of true crime, but it’s never interested me.

 

Twilight Zone

The original was way before my time. There have been a few revivals I believe, but I’ve just never been into giving any of them a whirl.

 

 

Two Broke Girls

I tried. I wanted to like it, but the humor was just so crude & sophomoric and the characters poorly constructed. I’m stunned that the show lasted six seasons.

 

Vikings

You mean the Minnesota Vikings?? Those are the only Vikings with which I am familiar.

 

The Ranch

The only reason I’ve even heard of it is because it stars Ashton Kutcher. However, I have no clue what the show is about, when it airs, or on what channel I could find it. And I couldn’t possibly care less.

  

Flip or Flop

I actually enjoy the occasional home renovation program, usually on HGTV (I especially like The Property Brothers). However, I don’t think I’ve ever watched Flip or Flop. I believe it’s the one where the hosts were married and now they are divorced, which seems like way too much drama for a fix-up show.

 

The Rookie

It’s a cop show, right?? Nah, not my thing.

 

 

Deputy

I’ve seen ads for it, but have no interest.

2019 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…Week 17

Well folks, we’ve reached the end of the road…kind of. The NFL still has the playoffs & there are a few more college bowl games remaining (including the national championship), but the final week of the NFL regular season means the last round of picks for us. Last week was a really good one for me (5-0), although Zach (4-1) did pretty darn well too. He’s not going to catch me for the season, but it looks like he’ll finish well above .500, which is atleast 14 games better than a season ago. I finished 2018 five games below .500 and will be solidly above this year, so perhaps we are finally getting the hang of this. Or not. Who knows?? Who cares?? We have fun doing it which is all that really matters. There was no Thursday night game and will be no Monday nighter, meaning all the action takes place on Sunday. So grab a beverage, fix yourself a plate full of whatever Christmas goodies remain, & settle in for a fun day with RedZone.

My Season:     59-40

Zach’s Season:       52-47

 

 

 

 

 

Cleveland (-3)              at                Cincinnati

It’s the Battle of Ohio!! The Bungles have wrapped up the #1 overall pick in next spring’s draft and are preparing to make Heisman Trophy winning QB Joe Burrow’s life miserable (but atleast he’ll be rich). Meanwhile, the Browns came into this season full of piss & vinegar. There were people that actually thought they’d win the AFC North. Alas, the Factory of Sadness is alive & well. QB Baker Mayfield has looked good at times, but something just isn’t clicking. Enigmatic receiver Odell Beckham Jr. apparently wants out of Cleveland already, which has to be some sort of record. Head coach Freddie Kitchens is in way over his head. On paper this looks like a mismatch; Cleveland is talented but underachieving, while Cincy is just a big ol’ mess. Having said that, The Vibes are telling me the home team will defend their turf and put an hilarious exclamation point on yet another pathetic Browns season. Conversely, Zach likes the Browns ground game to lead them to a double digit win.

My Pick:     Cincinnati

Z’s Pick:     Cleveland

 

 

 

Oakland                       at                Denver (-3.5)

The Raiders still have an outside shot to make the playoffs. I’m not going to bother explaining it a) because I don’t even understand it myself & b) it’s not going to happen. Still, kudos to them for continued improvement. Next season the Las Vegas Raiders will make their debut, and that’s when the fun will really begin. The Broncos are going thru some growing pains as well and seem to be treading water. The Joe Flacco Era seems to be over, and going forward Denver will need to decide if Drew Lock is the long term answer at quarterback. This has been a great divisional rivalry over the years and I don’t think it’ll matter that both teams are going to be watching the post-season on TV. I’m picking the home favorites for no real reason, and Zach concurs.

My Pick:     Denver

Z’s Pick:     Denver

 

 

 

Chicago                       at                Minnesota (-1)

Which Trubisky will show up for the Bears?? Who are the Vikings going to grab off the street to play running back?? These will be the burning questions of the day. Minnesota has already locked up a playoff berth, while Chicago just wants to finish a very disappointing season at .500. I don’t foresee a high scoring game, and in a defensive battle in which field position, turnovers, & time of possession will be key factors I think I still trust the Bears defense a little more. Zach thinks Vikings’ QB Kirk Cousins will have a big day and lead his team to victory.

My Pick:     Chicago

Z’s Pick:     Minnesota

 

 

 

Tennessee (-3.5)                  at                Houston

This is a huge game…especially for us Steelers fans. Yeah yeah…we know, Pittsburgh has to beat Baltimore, which will be no easy task even if they are resting most of their starters. But the Texans MUST defeat Tennessee!! The problem is that Houston is locked into their playoff spot and may very well rest most of their starters just like the Ravens. I’m not even going to try to be objective. My hope is that…even with a team of backups…the Texans find a way to make us all remember why the Dolphins gave up on QB Ryan Tannehill and why he entered this season as a second stringer in Tennessee. Would I be willing to put money on that happening?? Ehhh…let’s not get crazy. Zach agrees.

My Pick:     Houston

Z’s Pick:     Houston

 

 

 

San Francisco (-3.5)           at                Seattle

Who will be the top seed in the NFC?? San Francisco, Green Bay, New Orleans, & Seattle are all still jockeying for position. The loser of this game will be knocked down a peg, while the winner will almost certainly earn a first round bye. It feels to me like the 49ers may have already peaked, while the Seahawks are just now hitting their stride. ‘Frisco will win a Super Bowl with Jimmy G under center someday, but it’s not going to be this season. The Seattle home field is just too much and I think they’ll handle business rather comfortably. Zach thinks it’ll be close but believes the suddenly unretired Marshawn Lynch could make the difference for the home team.

My Pick:     Seattle

Z’s Pick:     Seattle

The Year Without A Sammy Claus

In 2009 I conceived the idea for the Sammy Claus Wish List, an irreverent, witty, yet occasionally insightful poke at notable entities thru the prism of what gifts they might deserve for Christmas. The List became an annual tradition for a decade, with the exception of 2015 when I spent the entire holiday season in the hospital. I’ve rarely had a problem finding suitable material, and the project was never a burden until last year when I found myself struggling just a bit to find the Christmas spirit, but I powered thru and Sammy Claus delivered his yearly epistle. However, there will be no such conquest in 2019. Last year I alluded to the 1974 Rankin/Bass classic The Year Without A Santa Claus in which Jolly Old St. Nick isn’t feeling very festive and decides to skip Christmas…atleast until Mrs. Claus steps in and engineers a change of heart with reluctant assistance from The Miser Brothers. A year later, sans aid from a wife or anyone else, Sammy Claus is taking a pass on the holiday.

 

I’ve tried to determine the exact reason for my lack of Christmas spirit, but the fact is that there are a bunch of little things that have built up over a long period of time. After all, I had to fight thru holiday apathy a year ago, so this didn’t happen yesterday, but the feeling of indifference is definitely more pronounced this year. I didn’t even bother to put up my humble little Christmas tree or the few decorations I have. It just felt pointless.

 

I’m not angry at anyone and I don’t feel particularly sad or depressed, but I do admit to feeling more lonely & lost than usual nowadays. The general idea of “Is this all there is??” is something I ponder occasionally. I’m bored with life. During this holiday season that has manifested itself in different ways. There have been a few events that I had the opportunity to attend but skipped for no real reason other than I just preferred to stay home. I have watched some Christmas movies and listened to some carols, but not to the degree that I’ve enjoyed them in the past. I mean really…how many damn times are AMC or Freeform going to air Christmas Vacation, The Polar Express, Home Alone, & Elf?? I always liked those movies, but let’s ease up and not beat the dead horse on a daily basis. Shopping has never been fun at Christmastime, but with my nephews fully grown men now and no other small children in the family I just don’t even bother doing much at all. The past couple of years I actually baked cookies, but in 2019 I took the easy way out and bought treats from others.

 

Citizens of The Manoverse will recall that I lost my beloved dog Rocco less than two months ago, and I think that may have something to do with how I’m feeling. It’s not that I’m curled up in the fetal position bawling my eyes out 24/7. I miss the little guy but life moves on, right?? However, it’d be dishonest to deny that Rocco’s death hasn’t greyed the skies in my world just a bit.

 

You may also remember me occasionally mentioning the annual Christmas Eve Fish Fest our extended family has always had. It’s a smaller version of the Italian Feast of the Seven Fishes, and our family has been celebrating the occasion since before I was even born. Heck, I think it was a thing before my father was alive. That’s a long time. Anyway, I’ll spare y’all the whos, whats, & whys, but our Christmas Eve tradition is ending. In my 47 years on the planet I can only remember missing it twice…in 2008 when I was laid up in a “skilled” nursing facility, and in the aforementioned 2015. Back in ’08 I remember praying for just one more opportunity to have the Fish Fest because at the time my paternal grandmother was 94 years old. We were blessed to have Grandma Mano until her passing in 2012, so I got my wish & then some. It is for that reason that I have no complaints. Things happen. Circumstances change. We have to roll with the punches. I don’t know whether I will begin a new Christmas Eve tradition or just stay at home watching Ralphie & George Bailey, but either way it’ll be fine. Still, it’s difficult to see a beloved family custom pass into the ether.

 

In the past I’ve joked…sort of…about being one of those people who could pass away quietly and no one would notice until a putrid stench begins emanating from the apartment. Truthfully, my situation isn’t that pathetic. My sister & I communicate pretty regularly & I talk to my Dad almost every day. I’ve got a couple of neighbors that I interact with almost daily. I suppose if I didn’t show up to work there are people who might wonder what’s going on. However, there are friends who I used to talk to or chat with often that have cast me aside, and I don’t know why. I’m far from flawless, so it isn’t inconceivable that someone would decide that I didn’t need to be part of their life anymore, but I guess I like closure. Get mad at me. Tell me why you aren’t talking to me anymore. Perhaps we can resolve the issue, or maybe we won’t…either way I’ll know what’s happening, which is better than being left hanging.

 

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention church…or more specifically a lack thereof. Because of my odd work schedule I haven’t attended church in probably a year & a half, and I think that lack of…connection…has been deleterious to my spirit for awhile. It’s not that I’ve lost my faith, but as the second chapter of James tells us “faith without works is dead”, and in the same way I feel like faith without fellowship with other believers praying, worshiping, & singing is kind of like food without flavor & nutrients…calories that’ll keep you alive but isn’t quite as appealing as one would prefer, and that lack of flavor is certainly felt more keenly during the holiday season.

 

One thing I cannot be sad about is the weather here in northcentral West Virginia. It’s been cold outside (especially early in the mornings), but I’ve been wearing my sunglasses in the afternoons and it’s going to be 50+ degrees on Christmas Day. That may upset folks who buy into the romantic notion of a white Christmas, but I’m perfectly happy with sunshine & dry roads, though I will concede that it doesn’t feel very Christmasy.

 

Will Sammy Claus be back again someday?? I hope so, but I make no promises. I’d like to think that next Christmas I’ll be as excited as I used to be and recapture some of those old magical feelings. However, I realize that may be a tough sell. I don’t see my life changing all that dramatically. Family & children are the lifeblood of a Merry Christmas, and those things don’t seem to be in the cards for me. Nevertheless, there are other ways that life can change & improve. God is faithful. God is powerful. God is in control. Just because I’m not in the mood to write or be particularly mirthful at the moment doesn’t mean I won’t find renewed joy in life in the future or become a perpetual Scrooge for Christmases Yet to Come. If tales like A Christmas Carol & The Grinch Who Stole Christmas teach us anything it is most certainly renewal & redemption. Ecclesiastes 3 says “to everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven… a time to break down and a time to build up… a time to weep and a time to laugh…a time to mourn and a time to dance… a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing… a time to gain and a time to lose…a time to keep and a time to throw away… a time to keep silence and a time to speak”. I truly believe in the miracle of Christmas and sincerely wish the happiest of holidays to everyone, even if I’m not really feeling it myself.

2019 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…Week 16

The NFL is heading down the regular season home stretch, which means a few things. There was no Thursday night game, which made for a rather boring evening. The good news is that there are Saturday games now, so pay attention to the schedule so you don’t miss any action. The playoffs are taking shape, so several games involve teams playing for their post-season lives or atleast jockeying for seeding. Zach (3-2) bested me (2-3) last week, and kudos to him for picking the Atlanta Falcons. He may not have predicted the surprising upset, but he knew something was amiss. Merry Christmas to all who take time to stop by our cozy little corner of the info superhighway on occasion. The Manofesto continues to be labor of love and the best therapy this guy could ever dream of having.

My Season:        54-40

Zach’s Season:  48-46

 

 

 

 

 

New Orleans (-3)                  at                Tennessee

The Saints are obviously in the playoffs already, but they’re still battling the 49ers, Seahawks, & Packers for the NFC’s top seed. It’s a different story for the Titans. They could a) win the AFC South, b) make the playoffs as a wildcard, or c) not make the playoffs at all. Normally I put a lot of stock in a team with so much at stake, but not only is New Orleans clearly a better team, but they also have something to play for as well. Tennessee will likely make a game of it on their home turf, but I think the favorites win by atleast a touchdown. Zach agrees. He believes Titans’ RB Derrick Henry will have another nice game, but it won’t be enough to overcome a better one from Drew Brees.

My Pick:     New Orleans

Z’s Pick:     New Orleans

 

 

 

 

Carolina              at                Indianapolis (-7)

Fans here in West Virginia are excited because former Mountaineers QB Will Grier will get his first career start for the Panthers. Grier was chosen in the third round of last spring’s draft but was beaten out by Kyle Allen…an undrafted free agent with a year of pro experience…for the backup job. That decision proved to be noteworthy after starter Cam Newton got injured early in the season, and Allen did well for awhile. However, at 5-9 the powers-that-be in Carolina have decided it’s time to see what Grier can do. Newton is injury prone, expensive, 30 years old, and a free agent, so the future may be now for the Carolina Panthers. The Colts are familiar with quarterback issues, although to be fair Jacoby Brissett seems to be a solid NFL starter. Brissett hasn’t been Indy’s problem…it’s all the damn injuries. Trust me…I have TY Hilton & Marlin Mack on more than one fantasy team and their frequent absences have killed me. At any rate, s much as I’d love to see Grier do really well and get a leg up on becoming Carolina’s next starting QB I have to believe that Indianapolis will take care of business on their home turf. Conversely, Zach has no faith in Indy and thinks Carolina will control the clock & eat up yards on the ground to score a mild upset.

My Pick:     Indianapolis

Z’s Pick:     Carolina

 

 

 

 

Dallas (-2.5)                 at                Philadelphia

This is it…the epic battle of two 7-7 teams for the NFC East crown. I don’t think it matters which team actually makes it to the playoffs…whichever one gets there will likely be bounced in the first round by a really good wildcard. Jerry Jones has probably already made his decision to fire Jason Garrett, but it’d be really entertaining to watch ol’ Jerry’s head explode when the Cowboys miss the playoffs. The Eagles have fallen mightily since winning the Super Bowl a couple of years ago, but hey might be able to find a silver lining in an otherwise subpar season by winning the division. Zach thinks the Cowboys are too inconsistent and won’t be able to follow u last week’s big win with another.

My Pick:     Philadelphia

Z’s Pick:     Philadelphia

 

 

 

 

Kansas City (-5.5)      at      Chicago

I had such high expectations for the Bears this season, but they’ve severely underachieved and QB Mitch Trubisky has regressed to the point that I’m not sure his stay in Chicago will last all that much longer. Conversely, the Chiefs have been as advertised and are probably thinking Super Bowl. The talking heads like to point out cracks in KC’s armor, but I’m just going to go ahead and put this out there…I think they can beat both the Baltimore Ravens & the New England Patriots. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but I am opining that it is possible. As far as this game goes, a lot depends on Trubisky. Every once in awhile he does show up & play like the high first round pick that he was, and if that happens this could be a really fun game. However, it is more likely that Trubisky is as unimpressive as he’s been most of the season and the Chiefs win by double digits. Zach concurs.

My Pick:     Kansas City

Z’s Pick:     Kansas City

 

  

 

Green Bay                   at                Minnesota (-4.5)

Everyone has kind of forgotten about the Packers while fawning all over the 49ers, Seahawks, & Saints, but they are 11-3 and could still be the top seed in the NFC. But…but…the Vikings are only one game behind, so the NFC North is up for grabs and will probably be decided by this game. I am intrigued by the points. I know it’s a home game for Minnesota, but it feels like the oddsmakers are giving them a lot of respect. This is the Monday night game, and Aaron Rodgers is only 7-8 on Mondays, which seems weird. I’m far too lazy to look it up, but it feels like he usually has a good game but his team somehow lets him down. Will that happen again?? I don’t think so, and neither does Zach.

My Pick:     Green Bay

Z’s Pick:     Green Bay

2019-20 College Football Bowl-a-Palooza

The old adage is that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Political pundit Steven Crowder has a frequent feature on his podcast called “Change My Mind”, in which he engages in polite debate with those who disagree with whatever opinion he is presenting at that moment. I’m old-ish & stuck in my ways, so I tend to agree with the notion of not being able to teach old dog new tricks, and I have very strong beliefs about many things so it is difficult for others to change my mind about much. But friends…today I have evolved. I have changed my mind. It’s a freakin’ miracle!! For years I have been a proponent of fewer bowl games and railed against the evil of pedestrian teams being rewarded for their mediocrity, while others have promoted the idea of “the more the merrier” because watching an unexceptional football game is still a pleasant way to spend a few hours. Friends, I have seen the light. I have broken on thru to the other side. Perhaps it’s because there are so few entertaining options on television these days. Or maybe I’ve become even more of a couch potato than ever. A girlfriend might be nice too, but that’s not happening anytime soon. I don’t know why, but I say bring on the bowl games!! Show me your 6-6 teams. Beguile me with games featuring teams from the Sun Belt, MAC, & C-USA whose existence the talking heads don’t even acknowledge. Give me games at 2pm on a Tuesday for no apparent reason. Offer me an alternative to Christmas movies I’ve seen a thousand times. Cause me to question whether I really want to go out on New Year’s Eve or if I’d prefer to stay home and watch football. Allow me the opportunity to become invested in a tie game late in the 4th quarter featuring two teams I know absolutely nothing about. Just bring it!! As always these games do not count toward our season long Pigskin Picks of Profundity, we don’t bother with point spreads, & we understand that a variety of elements that we may know nothing about can have an effect on the outcome. Zach has beaten me in these picks the last three years. I usually start off strong then fade when the “big & important” games roll around, which basically means that I’m better at guessing about games that I don’t know anything about than informed analysis of games about which I think I have some knowledge. We’ll see if I can change that this year. Enjoy.

 

 

 

 

 

Friday 12/20/19

Bahamas Bowl (2pm on ESPN)

Buffalo Bulls (7-5)                vs.              Charlotte 49ers (7-5)

I don’t get the opportunity to travel much. I spent a big chunk of last summer in two hospitals in different counties, and that’s about as far as I’ve gone in awhile. Therefore, I think it’s pretty damn cool that football provides a bunch of youngsters a chance to visit a tropical paradise like The Bahamas. The game itself should be entertaining. Buffalo has sent a few players to the NFL in recent years, most notably Bears LB Khalil Mack & former Chargers RB Branden Oliver. Charlotte is an up & coming team, but this is their first ever bowl game so I have to give the edge to the Bulls. Zach concurs.

My Pick:     Buffalo

Z’s Pick:     Buffalo

 

 

Frisco Bowl (Frisco, TX – 7:30pm on ESPN2)

Kent State Golden Flashes         (6-6)            vs.    Utah State Aggies (7-5)

The Frisco Bowl (which takes place in Texas and not California) enters its third season looking for a competitive game since the first two have been lopsided blowouts. Utah St. has gone bowling 8 out of the past 9 seasons, winning 4-3 in the previous games, while this will only be Kent St.’s fourth bowl game ever and their first since 2012. They’ve not won the previous three so I think they’re about due. Conversely, Zach thinks the Aggies have an advantage on the offensive line and will utilize the running game to snag a victory.

My Pick:     Kent St.

Z’s Pick:     Utah St.

 

 

Saturday 12/21

 

Celebration Bowl (Atlanta, GA) – Noon on ABC)

Alcorn State Braves (9-3)   vs.    North Carolina A&T Aggies (8-3)

This game serves as a de facto championship among historically black colleges and is the only current bowl game to feature teams from the Football Championship Subdivision (everyone else has a full blown playoff system. This will be A&T’s third straight appearance, while the Braves were also in it a year ago. In that contest the Aggies scored a two point victory, so I’ll go out on a limb and predict that the Braves earn a measure of revenge this year. Zach is picking A&T to repeat.

My Pick:     Alcorn State

Z’s Pick:     North Carolina A&T

 

 

New Mexico Bowl (2pm on ESPN)

Central Michigan Chippewas (8-5)      vs.    San Diego State Aztecs (9-3)

The Vibes are telling me that this might be a high scoring shootout, although the Aztecs have only exceeded 30 points once this season while the Chippewas have exceeded 40 points six times. I say they meet somewhere in the middle, with San Diego St. pulling out a 34-31 victory. Zach points out that…troubled…NFL wide receiver Antonio Brown is a Central Michigan product, and since we Steeler fans are no longer in the AB business that’s enough for him to choose San Diego St. I must admit that I was thinking along the same lines but chose not to go there. I’m kind of glad he did though.

My Pick:     San Diego St.

Z’s Pick:     San Diego St.

 

 

Cure Bowl (Orlando, FL – 2:30pm on CBS Sports Network)

Liberty Flames (7-5)            vs.              Georgia Southern Eagles (7-5)

Proceeds from this game go to help the fight against breast cancer, which is nice. Liberty is in its first full season in Division1-A/FBS, while Georgia Southern has been playing in the Sun Belt Conference since 2014. They are 2-0 in previous bowl appearances in addition to winning six 1-AA national titles, second only to North Dakota St. The Flames are off to a good start, but I think they’ll fall to a team that has post-season winning in their DNA. Zach agrees.

My Pick:     Georgia Southern

Z’s Pick:     Georgia Southern

 

 

Boca Raton Bowl (3:30pm on ABC)

Florida Atlantic Owls (10-3)         vs.    Southern Methodist Mustangs (10-2)

Lane Kiffin has already left FAU behind and headed to Old Miss, so the Owls will be playing for an interim coach until Willie Taggart takes the reins. FAU comes into the game riding a six game winning streak, while things have been a bit bumpier for the Mustangs. After starting the season 8-0 SMU has lost 2 out of their last 4. This is a home game for the Owls, which is an issue the NCAA really needs to address. No team should be allowed to play a bowl game in their own stadium. But that’s not the case at the moment, so given the situation I think it’ll be an easy win for FAU. Zach thinks it might be a close game but also likes the Owls to win.

My Pick:     FAU

Z’s Pick:     FAU

 

 

Camellia Bowl (Montgomery, AL – 5:30pm on ESPN)

Arkansas State Red Wolves (7-5)        vs.    Florida International Panthers (6-6)

This is your annual reminder that a camellia is a lovely flower that some may recall being mentioned in the classic novel To Kill A Mockingbird. As far as the matchup is concerned, FIU’s season has been a real roller coaster, while Arkansas St. had won four straight before losing their season ending game at South Alabama.  I’m going to ride with the Panthers because in the wild I feel like a panther would kick a wolf’s ass. Zach likes FIU to win a low scoring defensive battle.

My Pick:     FIU

Z’s Pick:     FIU

 

 

Las Vegas Bowl (7:30pm on ABC)

Boise State Broncos (12-1)         vs.              Washington Huskies (7-5)

It may not be a New Year’s game against a Top 10 team, but Boise has another opportunity to go toe to toe with a “power” conference team and give some folks (maybe the Big 12) something to think about when the next round of upheaval rolls around. The Huskies have fallen off a bit after three straight 10+ win seasons, but that’s just college football; most teams aren’t football factories that reload every year…they are actually affected by graduations & players moving on to the NFL. I’m far too lazy to do actual research, but it’s safe to assume that Washington probably has a size & athleticism advantage in the trenches on both sides of the ball where games are often won & lost in the 4th quarter. That means that logically one should lean that way, but I’m not always logical. The Broncos have overcome the numbers before and I think they’ll do it again. Zach, on the other hand, likes Huskies’ QB Jacob Eason to lead his team to victory.

My Pick:     Boise St.

Z’s Pick:     Washington

 

 

New Orleans Bowl (9pm on ESPN)

Appalachian State Mountaineers (12-1)      vs.     Alabama-Birmingham Blazers (9-4)  

Well, atleast one team named Mountaineers is playing in a bowl game. App. St. is a solid Top 25 team, but UAB has had a nice season as well. The Mountaineers will have a new head coach…their third in three years because it’s that type of program; successful, but a launchpad to allegedly bigger & better stuff. The positive thing is that their new coach has been their offensive line coach for a few years so there shouldn’t be much upheaval. UAB has fared rather well since reviving their football program a few years ago, amassing a 28-12 record since 2017, but I think they’ll fall short in this game, and so does Zach.

My Pick:     Appalachian St.

Z’s Pick:     Appalachian St.

 

 

Monday 12/23

 

Gasparilla Bowl (Tampa, FL – 2:30pm on ESPN)

Marshall Thundering Herd (8-4)           vs.    Central Florida Knights (9-3)

I make no effort to hide my bias when it comes to my alma mater, so I’ll definitely be pulling for the Herd, but I am legit intrigued. UCF claimed to be an uncrowned national champion after going undefeated in 2017, then followed that up with a 12-1 record a year ago (with the loss being to LSU in the Fiesta Bowl). They may have fallen off just a bit this year, but that doesn’t mean they’re not good. Marshall will need to play a damn near perfect four quarters to get the upset. Zach foresees a high scoring affair and doesn’t think MU has the horses to get the job done.

My Pick:     Marshall

Z’s Pick:     UCF

 

 

Christmas Eve

Hawaii Bowl (8pm on ESPN)

BYU Cougars (7-5)              vs.    Hawaii Rainbow Warriors (9-5)

Did you know about the Hawaii Exemption?? It’s an NCAA rule that allows the Rainbows and any team on their schedule that travels to the islands to either play an extra game to help nullify travel expenses or have an extra bye week during the season. That’s why Hawaii has played 14 games. However, though that is a pretty neat rule I still think it is unfair for Hawaii or any other team to play a bowl game on their home turf, even if it is cool for the BYU folks to get to be in paradise for Christmas. This will be Hawaii’s fifth appearance since 2008 and they are 1-4 in that timeframe. I think they’ll be successful this year. Zach agrees.

My Pick:     Hawaii

Z’s Pick:     Hawaii

 

Thursday 12/26

Independence Bowl (Shreveport, LA – 4pm on ESPN)

Louisiana Tech Bulldogs (9-3)             vs.    Miami (FL) Hurricanes (6-6)

After going a combined 19-7 in Mark Richt’s first two seasons as head coach it kind of felt like the ‘Canes were recapturing a wee bit of the glory that made them one of the preeminent college football teams of the 1990’s. But they fell off dramatically a year ago Richt retired and now the program is trying to get things revved up again. However, even though Miami now obviously isn’t the Miami of old I have to believe that everyone associated with La. Tech is considering this a huge opportunity for a program defining victory. Will it happen?? It’s going to be tough, but I think the Bulldogs will outscore their opponents and come away with a hard fought win. Zach thinks Miami will be ready to go and get a comfortable win.

My Pick:     Louisiana Tech

Z’s Pick:     Miami (FL)

 

 

Quick Lane Bowl (Detroit, MI – 8pm on ESPN)

Eastern Michigan Eagles (6-6)   vs.    Pitt Panthers (7-5)

On one hand I’m tempted to lampoon sPitt for being the very definition  if a mediocre football program, but I’m sure that their fans would point out that atleast that team is playing in a bowl game, whereas their rivals in the now dormant Backyard Brawl…my West Virginia Mountaineers…are not. Having said that, I think the Eagles will score the upset and leave the Panthers wondering where it all went so wrong. Zach thinks Pitt is probably the better team.

My Pick:     Eastern Michigan

Z’s Pick:     Pitt

 

Friday 12/27

Military Bowl (Annapolis, MD – Noon on ESPN)

North Carolina Tar Heels (6-6)             vs.    Temple Owls (8-4)

Did y’all see the late September game where the Tar Heels darn near beat Clemson?? Of course I need to be fair and point out losses to Wake Forest & Pitt. So the question is whether a middle-of-the-pack ACC team is better than the middle-of-the-pack team from the America Athletic Conference, and I think the answer is “yes”, especially when a rejuvenated Mack Brown is the head coach. Zach likes Temple’s defense to play well enough to score a close win.

My Pick:     North Carolina

Z’s Pick:     Temple

 

Pinstripe Bowl (NY, NY – 3:20pm on ESPN)

Michigan State Spartans (6-6)             vs.    Wake Forest Demon Deacons (8-4)

Is there a more confusing team in college football than Michigan St.?? From 2013-15 they were 36-5, fell to 3-9 in 2016, rebounded to 10-3 in 2017, a year later went 7-6, and now need a win to match that record in 2019. I have no idea what to make of them. Meanwhile, this is Wake’s fourth straight 7+ win season after being abysmal for about eight years. The arrow is pointing up for the Demon Deacons, while the arrow is drunk for the Spartans. I like consistency and think this will be a nice victory for the relatively weak ACC. Zach thinks it’ll be a low scoring defensive struggle and likes the Spartans to get a close win.

My Pick:     Wake Forest

Z’s Pick:     Michigan St.

 

 

Texas Bowl (Houston, TX – 6:45pm on ESPN)

Oklahoma State Cowboys (8-4)           vs.    Texas A&M Aggies (7-5)

One can choose to look at A&M’s season in one of two ways. Either their brutally difficult schedule has prepared them for battle and laid the groundwork for future success, or they’ve got to be exhausted & beaten up after playing five Top 10 teams. I’m a glass half full kind of guy so I choose the former viewpoint. Meanwhile, the Cowboys have been completely overlooked while having a solid season, beating everyone they should have and losing only to the best teams in the Big 12 (well, except for Texas Tech…no idea what happened there). OK St. has running back Chuba Hubbard, who finished as the nation’s leading rusher with over 1900 yards and 8th in Heisman voting, but the Aggies have a more complete team and bright future. Zach believes that A&M’s season has prepared them for this moment and they’ll outscore their opponents in a tough game.

My Pick:     Texas A&M

Z’s Pick:    Texas A&M

 

 

Holiday Bowl (San Diego, CA – 8pm on FS1)

Iowa Hawkeyes (9-3)           vs.    Southern California Trojans (8-4)

Friday nights are rough for me since I have to be at work at 6:30am on Saturdays, but I might have to stay up a bit late to watch this one. I expected better things for USC this year, but injuries pretty much torpedoed their season. The Hawkeyes started the season 4-0 but two straight losses in October ended any hopes of competing in a loaded Big Ten. The Trojans are riding a three game winning streak, but I think Iowa will dedicate the game to recently deceased legendary coach Hayden Fry and score an emotional victory. Zach thinks this game might be somewhat boring, but he believes Southern Cal is a more balanced & complete team that’ll get the close victory.

My Pick:     Iowa

Z’s Pick:     USC

 

 

Cheez-It Bowl (Phoenix, AZ – 10:15pm on ESPN)

Air Force Falcons (10-2)    vs.    Washington State Cougars (6-6)

No, I won’t be staying up to watch this one…I have my limits. I do enjoy watching the military academies play, although it seems like prepping for a bowl game gives opponents ample time to figure out the quirks. The Falcons are 4-3 in the past decade of post-season games, and the Cougars won’t be an easy out. I expect plenty of offense and would certainly take the over, whatever that may be. The Cheez-It Bowl has had a variety of names…Copper Bowl, Cactus Bowl, Insight Bowl, Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl…but it’s usually a fun game no matter what it’s called. I think the Cougars probably have a depth & size advantage up & down the lines and that will enable them to take command in the 4th quarter for a comfortable win. Zach isn’t sure either defense will have much success and likes the Cougars’ ability to put up points.

My Pick:     Washington St.

Z’s Pick:     Washington St.

 

 

Saturday 12/28

Camping World Bowl (Orlando, FL – Noon on ABC)

Notre Dame Fighting Irish (10-2)                   vs.    Iowa State Cyclones (7-5)

I haven’t heard much about Notre Dame this season. Perhaps that is because their ten win season comes against a relatively unimpressive schedule. They lost to Georgia & Michigan, although in fairness I suppose wins against Virginia, Virginia Tech, USC, & Navy deserve mild kudos since those are all bowl teams. I really thought the Cyclones would challenge for the Big 12 title, but Baylor was better than anyone thought and a season ending loss to Kansas St. was something I wouldn’t have predicted. I’m sure most of the talking heads will be in the tank for the Irish, but I believe they’re going to find themselves in a tougher battle than expected. Zach likes Notre Dame’s defense and believes that’ll make the difference in a close game.

My Pick:     Iowa St.

Z’s Pick:     Notre Dame

 

 

Cotton Bowl (Dallas, TX – Noon on ESPN)

Penn State Nittany Lions (10-2)           vs.    Memphis Tigers (12-1)

So this is the…ummm…reward…for winning the AAC & being the highest ranked “Group of Five” team?? I could go off on a tirade about the structure of college football and how I’d change everything if I had the power, but let’s save it for another time. Much like Notre Dame the Nittany Lions haven’t received much love in 2019 despite winning ten games. That’s what happens when you play not only in the same conference as Ohio St. but also the same division. A loss to Minnesota that no one would have predicted four months ago didn’t help. Having said that, I have to believe that Penn St. has vastly superior athleticism & depth over Memphis, and this game won’t be all that close. It won’t help the Tigers that former head coach Mike Norvell has already moved on to Florida St. Zach agrees.

My Pick:     Penn St.

Z’s Pick:     Penn St.

 

 

Peach Bowl (Atlanta, GA – 4pm on ESPN)

College Football Playoff Semifinal

LSU Tigers (13-0)                vs.              Oklahoma Sooners (12-1)

They really had no choice. The playoff committee was hamstrung by Utah’s loss in the Pac 12 title game & Georgia’s poor performance in the SEC title game. I was sincerely hoping for a more interesting alternative, but Baylor failed miserably so here we are with the Sooners getting a crack at solving the playoff puzzle, the Big 12’s first appearance in this format. Do I think they have a shot?? No. LSU is a well-oiled machine with a Heisman winning QB and a powerful offense that more than makes up for their 32nd ranked defense. There are NFL prospects up & down both rosters, but the Tigers are clearly the better team and I don’t even think it’s close. Zach likes Oklahoma QB Jalen Hurts, but doesn’t feel like Oklahoma’s defense is up to the task of stopping Joe Burrow & the Tigers’ offense.

My Pick:     LSU

Z’s Pick:     LSU

 

 

Fiesta Bowl (Glendale, AZ – 8pm on ESPN)

College Football Playoff Semifinal

Ohio State Buckeyes          (13-0)         vs.    Clemson Tigers (13-0)

I get it. I understand why Clemson is here. They’re undefeated and the defending national champions. They’ve been in the playoff three previous times. Dabo Swinney is one of the best coaches in college football and he’s a fun interview (much more entertaining than Nick Saban). But when one really looks at THIS season and examines their weak schedule it just feels like they shouldn’t be a playoff team. Conversely, the Buckeyes have faced some real challenges and faced every single one. They had three players in the top 6 in Heisman voting, which negatively impacted those players’ chances to win but certainly speaks well of the program. Chase Young is the best defensive player in the nation and will be a very high NFL draft choice whenever he decides to move on. Will this be a good game?? Probably. I have no doubt that Swinney will have his troops ready to play and they’ll be psyched to play a legit opponent. But I just don’t see any way that Clemson can overcome the odds and defeat a better team. For Zach it comes down to coaching, and he believes Swinney will find a way to lead his team to a hard fought victory.

My Pick:     Ohio St.

Z’s Pick:     Clemson

 

 

Monday 12/30

First Responder Bowl (Dallas, TX – 12:30pm on ESPN)

Western Kentucky Hilltoppers (8-4)    vs.    Western Michigan Broncos (7-5)

I’m glad they changed the name of this game from the weird sounding Heart of Dallas Bowl. Y’all know how neurotic I can be about corporate sponsorship and bowl names, but I suppose a game honoring our nation’s first responders is a nice idea. As for the game itself, I’m a little more familiar with the Hilltoppers since they’ve competed against my Thundering Herd in C-USA for several years, while I haven’t followed the Broncos at all. Zach concurs.

My Pick:     Western Kentucky

Z’s Pick:     Western Kentucky

 

 

Music City Bowl (Nashville, TN – 4pm on ESPN)

Louisville Cardinals (7-5)            vs.    Mississippi State Bulldogs (6-6)

Mediocre teams…one from a mediocre conference and the other that gets lost in the SEC shuffle. I think the Bulldogs probably have better athletes on their roster and most certainly have played tougher opponents this season, which should have them well prepared. Zach likes Louisville to win a shootout.

My Pick:     Mississippi St.

Z’s Pick:     Louisville

 

 

Redbox Bowl (Santa Clara, CA – 4pm on Fox)

California Golden Bears (7-5)     vs.    Illinois Fighting Illini (6-6)

Is Redbox still a thing?? Doesn’t everyone stream movies now?? Do they even still make DVDs?? These questions interest me far more than the game itself. Illinois did score one big win over Wisconsin, so there’s that. Plus you just have to dig Illini head coach Lovie Smith, who probably should get another opportunity in the NFL someday. Cal will probably have a bit of a “home field” advantage since the game is being played less than two hours from their campus, but I like Lovie to lead his team to victory. Zach thinks Cal will go up early, Illinois will make a spirited comeback, but that effort will fall short.

My Pick:     Illinois

Z’s Pick:     California

 

 

Orange Bowl (Miami, FL – 8pm on ESPN)

Florida Gators (10-2)           vs.              Virginia Cavaliers (9-4)

I’m just going to go ahead and say it…Virginia is vastly overrated. If one peeks at their schedule you’ll see that they lost to four bowl teams (Notre Dame, Miami, Louisville, & Clemson), while padding their resume with wins over William & Mary, Old Dominion, and the train wreck that Florida St. has become. Sorry, but I’m not buying the Cavaliers hype. Conversely, the Gators did quite well in the nation’s toughest conference and fell short against LSU & Georgia, which isn’t anything to feel bad about. I’m forecasting a blowout win for Florida. Zach thinks it’ll be a close game but also believes the Gators will win.

My Pick:     Florida

Z’s Pick:     Florida

 

 

New Year’s Eve

 

Belk Bowl (Charlotte, NC – Noon on ESPN)

Kentucky Wildcats (7-5)               vs.              Virginia Tech Hokies (8-4)

I ranked the Hokies 25th in my pre-season poll and had a feeling they’d turn things around from last season’s 6-7 abomination. Tough losses to Notre Dame & Virginia doomed their conference title ambitions, but progress is progress. This will be defensive coordinator Bud Foster’s final game in that role after more than three decades in Blacksburg. He says he’s retiring, but we know how those stories go and since he’s only 60 years old I wouldn’t be surprised to see him on a sideline somewhere in a year or two, but his departure will certainly have a negative impact on Tech. Under Foster’s guidance Tech has had one of the top defenses in the nation for many years and I suspect they’ll be amped up to send him out on a high note. Long known as a basketball school, Kentucky has had a football renaissance the past few years, but I don’t think they stand a chance in this game. Zach has a little more faith in UK to keep things close but also believes Tech’s defense will lead them to victory.

My Pick:     Virginia Tech

Z’s Pick:     Virginia Tech

 

 

 Sun Bowl (El Paso, TX – 2pm on CBS)

Arizona State Sun Devils (7-5)   vs.    Florida State Seminoles (6-6)

Okay okay…the Seminoles are a train wreck, but they are a bowl eligible train wreck, so atleast they got that going for them, which is nice. Willie Taggart was fired mid-season and Mike Norvell will be coming down from Memphis to take over, so they are playing under an interim coach for the time being. Conversely, my man Herm Edwards is firmly entrenched at Arizona St. and has what it takes to build a winning program. A signature win over Florida St….even this version of Florida St….would be a real boost. I always enjoy watching the Sun Bowl. There’s nothing better to do on New Year’s Eve afternoon since the…festivities…don’t start until later, and it’s fun to wonder what it’d be like to live in a sunshine filled delight like El Paso instead of the grey, cold, depressing winter of Appalachia. At any rate, I think the Sun Devils will get the job done by a comfortable margin. The Seminoles will be back near the top someday, but that day is not now. Zach agrees.

My Pick:     Arizona St.

Z’s Pick:     Arizona St.

  

 

Liberty Bowl (Memphis, TN – 3:45pm on ESPN)

Kansas State Wildcats (8-4)                 vs.              Navy Midshipmen (10-2)

I’m glad to see one of the service academies playing in the Liberty Bowl. It just makes sense. K St. gets lost in the Big 12 shuffle while everyone fawns all over Oklahoma & Texas and this year Baylor, but they have quietly put together a solid yet wildly inconsistent program. This has been a good year for them. Unfortunately for the Wildcats their opponents are having their best season since 2016 and I think the Midshipmen will get the easy win. Zach thinks Navy’s triple option spells doom for the Wildcats.

My Pick:     Navy

Z’s Pick:     Navy

 

 

Arizona Bowl (4:30pm on CBS Sports Network)

Georgia State Panthers (7-5)                vs.              Wyoming Cowboys (7-5)

I have a vague recollection of Wyoming having a really good football team back in the late 1980’s & early 90’s. Unfortunately we east coasters don’t get much of an opportunity to watch their games. The Panthers have only had a football program since 2010 and moved up to Division 1-A/FBS in 2013. This will be their third bowl game in five years. I am intrigued by this game simply because I know very little about either team. I suppose I’ll pull for Georgia St. because I assume they’ll be considered underdogs. Zach likes Wyoming.

My Pick:     Georgia St.

Z’s Pick:     Wyoming

 

 

Alamo Bowl (San Antonio, TX – 7:30pm on ESPN)

Utah Utes (11-2)                             vs.              Texas Longhorns (7-5)

Oh wow…another “woulda, coulda, shoulda” matchup. Utah had to win the Pac 12 title and almost certainly would have been in the playoff, but they laid an egg against Oregon. The college football world has been waiting for awhile for Texas to climb back on top, but after a stellar 10-4 record a year ago they fell flat in 2019. The Utes have a really good defense, but Texas probably has the deeper & more athletic team. This one could be a dogfight that goes right down to the wire, and I’d be fine with that. In the end I believe in the old philosophy that defense wins championships and I think Utah’s physicality makes the difference. Zach concurs.

My Pick:     Utah

Z’s Pick:     Utah

 

 

New Year’s Day

Citrus Bowl (Orlando, FL – 1pm on ABC)

Alabama Crimson Tide (10-2)               vs.              Michigan Wolverines (9-3)

This is not where these two teams would prefer to be on New Year’s Day. As we all know, ‘Bama is usually in the playoff whether they win the SEC title or not, but losing the Iron Bowl to archrival Auburn spelled doom. Meanwhile, the folks in Ann Arbor may or may not be growing a little impatient with head coach Jim Harbaugh. 47-15 over the course of five years would get buildings named after a coach at most universities, but Michigan has extremely high…maybe impossible…expectations. However, putting all expectations aside this is a pretty darn entertaining matchup for the fans and both schools. I expect the mind games and verbal sparring between Harbaugh & Nick Saban to be delightful fun in the next few weeks. Unless a bunch of their players decide to sit out to protect their NFL Draft status I think the Tide has superior talent right now, so I think they’ll win comfortably. Zach reluctantly agrees.

My Pick:     Alabama

Z’s Pick:     Alabama

 

Outback Bowl (Tampa, FL – 1pm on ESPN)

Auburn Tigers (9-3)             vs.              Minnesota Golden Gophers (10-2)

Underrated vs. overrated. Auburn’s lineup is stacked with NFL level talent and I believe they can compete for a playoff berth in the near future. Losing to Florida, LSU, & Georgia is nothing to be ashamed of and doesn’t truly represent how good Auburn is, but that’s life in the SEC…the difference between winning & losing such games is the thin line between competing for a national title and playing in this bowl game. Conversely, I just don’t buy what Minnesota is selling. Other than upsetting Penn St. I just haven’t been overwhelmingly impressed. I think Auburn will put up a lot of points, play stellar defense, win easily. Once again Zach believes it’ll be a lot closer, but he likes Auburn as well.

My Pick:     Auburn

Z’s Pick:     Auburn

 

 

Rose Bowl (Pasadena, CA – 5pm on ESPN)

Oregon Ducks (11-2)           vs.              Wisconsin Badgers (10-3)

Both teams might have been playoff contenders, but a November loss to Arizona St. doomed the Ducks, while Wisconsin’s October loss to Illinois might be the head scratcher of the year. Nevertheless these are two really talented football teams, and my expectations are unreasonably high. Badgers’ RB Jonathan Taylor has something to prove after not being invited to New York for the Heisman ceremony, while the Ducks need to defend the honor of the Pac 12, whose champion has only made the playoff twice since 2014. I’m a big fan of smashmouth football and generally lean in that direction, but I think Oregon might just be too fast and have too many weapons for Wisconsin to stop. If they get behind early and have to abandon the run it’d be disastrous. Once upon a time Ducks’ QB Justin Herbert was thought to be a potential #1 overall NFL draft pick, but he stayed in college long enough for the talking heads to become enamored with other signal callers. Don’t be surprised if Herbert puts on a show in this game and goes on to have a better pro career than every quarterback drafted ahead of him. Despite predicting a big day for Taylor Zach also feels like Oregon is the better overall team.

My Pick:     Oregon

Z’s Pick:     Oregon

 

Sugar Bowl (New Orleans, LA – 8:45pm on ESPN)

Georgia Bulldogs (11-2)               vs.              Baylor Bears (11-2)

The playoff would have looked vastly different if either one (or both) of these teams had been successful in their conference title games. Unfortunately for Georgia the LSU Tigers have been a beast in 2019 and weren’t going to be stopped. Baylor is a bit different. They had two cracks at Oklahoma and fell short both times. I don’t believe in moral victories when it comes to sports, and when you have a team like the Sooners on the ropes you have to go in for the kill. I hope this is another really fun game, and I’ll be rooting for the Bears to find a way to get over the hump…but I’m not sure I’d put any money on them. Zach has zero faith in Baylor and thinks the Bulldogs will cruise to victory.

My Pick:     Baylor

Z’s Pick:     Georgia

 

 

Friday 1/3

Birmingham Bowl (3pm on ESPN)

Cincinnati Bearcats (10-3)           vs.              Boston College Eagles (6-6)

As noted in the opening I take no issue with the existence of these next several games. I’ll watch some of them and probably be entertained to varying degrees. However, I find the placement odd. Once we get to New Year’s fans want to see the best teams face off. Throwaway games should be played in December. By January 3rd we’re finished with the holidays, have returned to work, and have a bit of football fatigue. Our remaining energy is reserved for the National Championship and the NFL playoffs. At any rate, the Bearcats have had a much better season and I think they’ll cap it off with a victory. Zach agrees.

My Pick:     Cincinnati

Z’s Pick:     Cincinnati

 

 

Gator Bowl (Jacksonville, FL – 7pm on ESPN)

Indiana Hoosiers (8-4)                  vs.              Tennessee Volunteers (7-5)

There’s a lot to unpack here. First, how far has the Gator Bowl fallen?? It used to be one of the big games played on New Year’s Eve or Day, and now it’s here with these two teams?? I don’t know who’s running things behind the scenes for the bowl organization, but they might need to be replaced. Secondly, when did Indiana become good at football?? Wins over Northwestern, Nebraska, & Purdue are mildly impressive. Conversely, the Vols are still trying to recapture the glory they enjoyed back when Peyton Manning played quarterback. Far from being meaningless, I have to believe that a win for either team could be a harbinger of positive things to come. I give Tennessee the slight edge, but this could be a really close contest. Zach also thinks it’ll  be close but likes the Hoosiers to get the win.

My Pick:     Tennessee

Z’s Pick:     Indiana

 

 

Potato Bowl (Boise, ID- 3:30pm on ESPN)

Nevada Wolfpack (7-5)                 vs.              Ohio Bobcats (6-6)

Hey, atleast Boise St. isn’t playing in this game, so that’s a step in the right direction. I used to have an odd fascination with the Wolfpack and recall watching some of their really fun late night games. However, one of reasons they came to prominence about a decade ago was the play of QB Colin Kaepernick…you may have heard of him. I cannot in good conscience bring myself to support anything connected to Kaepernick, so I’ll be pulling for the Bobcats. Conversely, Zach’s irrational disdain is reserved for the entire state of Ohio.

My Pick:     Ohio

Z’s Pick:     Nevada

 

 

Saturday 1/4

 

Armed Forces Bowl (Fort Worth, TX – 11:30am on ESPN)

Southern Miss Golden Eagles (7-5)              vs.              Tulane Green Wave (6-6)

I’d love to see the television ratings for all of these games, and if we did my guess is this would be among the least watched of all of them. I mean no disrespect to either team…it’s not about them. Well okay…it’s not completely about them. The timing is just atrocious. The first weekend of the new year. Everyone is still in a post-holiday haze. Before noon on a Saturday. I assume there will be NFL playoff games on later in the day. I’m sure both fanbases are psyched and that’s cool, but I have a feeling most of the rest of us will be skipping out. I’m not familiar with either team, so I’ll go with The Vibes and choose Southern Miss. Zach is going in the opposite direction and picking he Green Wave to get a close win.

My Pick:     Southern Miss

Z’s Pick:     Tulane

 

 

Monday 1/6

 

LendingTree Bowl (Mobile, AL – 7:30pm on ESPN)

Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin’ Cajuns (10-3)   vs.    Miami (OH) RedHawks (8-5)

Monday night is wrasslin’ night at The Bachelor Palace so I probably won’t be watching the game, but football fans are pre-conditioned to watch on Monday nights, so the ratings might be marginally better. Once again my knowledge (and my level of giving a damn) is rather low, so I’m going with the Cajuns because I like their food & their accent. Zach is picking Louisiana because…well…you know.

My Pick:     Louisiana-Lafayette

Z’s Pick:     Louisiana-Lafayette

 

 

Monday 1/13

College Football Playoff National Championship Game

New Orleans, LA – 8pm on ESPN

Ohio St. Buckeyes / Clemson Tigers vs.    LSU Tigers / Oklahoma Sooners

I’m predicting an LSU vs. Ohio St. matchup, while Zach is leaning toward LSU vs. Clemson. If I’m right it’ll be The Irresistible Force vs. The Immovable Object…the two most complete teams in college football. I think the offenses are fairly even, while I’d give a slight edge to the Buckeyes defense. Both lineups are loaded with NFL talent, and I don’t think either team has a distinct coaching advantage. If Ohio St. can control the clock with JK Dobbins & the running game it gives them a leg up. This will come down to the little things…special teams, field position, turnovers. I don’t foresee a shootout (the defenses are too good), but neither do I think it’ll be a low scoring affair. I’m looking at something like 24-21, with the outcome hanging in the balance late in the 4th quarter. The TV folks will love it, and I have a feeling the folks in Columbus will too. Conversely, Zach is all in on Dabo Swinney and has really high expectations for this game.

My Pick:     Ohio State

Z’s Pick:     Clemson

2019 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…Week 15

Another Thursday night, another night making picks while actually watching football. Thank God the Thursday NFL game is usually not one we choose to discuss. That may change though since we’ll be strictly NFL the rest of the way. We both did fairly well picking last week’s conference title games. I was 5-2, while Zach was 4-3. We’ll be posting our annual College Football Bowl-A-Palooza in the coming days (I believe the first bowl game takes place next Friday), but as usual they are a separate entity from these picks. At any rate, I hope The Manoverse is having a pleasant holiday season and doing most of your shopping online. Enjoy.

My Season:     52-37

Zach’s Season:     45-44

 

 

 

 

 

Houston                      at                         Tennessee (-3)

I don’t think many football fans are surprised that the AFC South is up for grabs this late in the season, but there probably aren’t many that thought the Titans would be in the mix. I predicted they’d go 5-11 & finish dead last in the division, which was obviously way off base. Even more curious is the fact that they’re doing it with Ryan Tannehill under center after former first round pick Marcus Mariota was benched. I guess when you have a beast at running back like Derrick Henry that helps a whole lot. Let’s not shortchange the Texans though. At 8-5 they are tied with Tennessee atop the division. This is the first of two meetings in three weeks between these teams, which is peculiar scheduling indeed. Tennessee gets the requisite home field bump, but I’m still not sold on Tannehill. If Houston’s defense can keep Henry in check I think they walk away with a comfortable victory. Zach is a little concerned about Houston in the wake of their shockingly poor performance a week ago against Denver, but he thinks they’ll rebound and score the upset.

My Pick:     Houston

Z’s Pick:     Houston

 

 

 

Miami                           at                         NY Giants (-3)

I’m really trying to avoid focusing on the same half dozen teams these last few weeks so this unappealing game makes the cut. Giants’ rookie QB Daniel Jones is probably going to be back after missing last week’s game with a sprained ankle, but whether it is he or Eli Manning under center makes very little difference. The Dolphins are likely going to miss out on the #1 overall pick in next spring’s draft, but I’m not sure if that’s a positive or a negative. Both teams are a mess and might stay that way for the next couple of years. I hope this turns out to be a tight game decided late in the 4th quarter (or overtime)…otherwise it’s basically just a waste of everyone’s time. That being said, The Vibes are telling me to go with Miami. Zach thinks there may be a bit of FitzMagic left for the Dolphins and is also picking the upset.

My Pick:     Miami

Z’s Pick:     Miami

 

 

 

LA Rams                     at                         Dallas (even)

Jerry Jones is almost as bad of an owner as the clown that owns my Pittsburgh Pirates, although in a totally different way. Wherein Pirates’ ownership has neglected the franchise for years & refuses to spend money necessary to compete, Jones actually cares too much and thinks he’s way smarter than he is. The Cowboys would improve dramatically if he’d step down as general manager and let people who know what the hell they are doing run the team. That’s not going to happen though, and head coach Jason Garrett will be the sacrificial lamb. The funny thing is they might still make the playoffs since the entire NFC East is atrocious. The Rams aren’t going to be in the playoffs. On one hand that’s not surprising given the whole Super Bowl Curse thing, but on the other hand it is a dramatic departure from a year ago when head coach Sean McVay & quarterback Jared Goff were celebrated flavors of the month. It’s interesting that the ‘Boys can’t even score the usual three point home advantage…seems like the folks in Vegas have lost faith in them. It’s a tall order for the Rams to head into Texas with nothing to play for and face off against a team fighting for its life & a coach desperate to save his job, but that’ll make it all the more delightful when the visitors get the win. Zach concurs and foresees a blowout.

My Pick:     LA Rams

Z’s Pick:     LA Rams

 

 

 

Atlanta                         at                         San Francisco (-10.5)

I predicted that the 49ers would make the playoffs, but I had no idea they’d be this good and a legit Super Bowl contender. Conversely, the Falcons are much worse than I expected. Frisco isn’t going to lose at home, but the points are a bit of a concern. Double digit spreads are unusual in the NFL. Having said that, the Niners have won 7 of their 11 victories by ten points or more, so I’ll roll with it. Zach thinks the Falcons are slowly figuring things out, but sees Frisco scoring the victory…just not by ten points.

My Pick:     San Francisco

Z’s Pick:     Atlanta

 

 

 

Indianapolis                         at                         New Orleans (-9)

Indianapolis should title their 2019 highlight video “What If?”. What if Andrew Luck would have stuck around?? What if receiver TY Hilton hadn’t missed half the season with a calf injury?? What if RB Marlon Mack wasn’t so injury prone?? They are a better team than their record shows, but much like my Pittsburgh Steelers the deck has been stacked against them all season long and they just can’t catch a break. On the flip side the Saints have already clinched their division and have to be kicking themselves for that last second loss to San Francisco that’s going to cost them home field in the presumed NFC Championship (although anything can happen). I like Indy. They have potential and will probably be back in the playoff conversation next year, but it’s just not meant to be right now and they’re going up against a well-oiled machine. The points give me brief pause, but I like the Saints to get the job done on Monday night. Zach agrees.

My Pick:     New Orleans

Z’s Pick:     New Orleans

2019 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…Week 14

 

It all comes down to this…for them, not us. We still have a few more weeks of NFL action, but for now we are all college football one last time. It’s Championship Week, when conference titles will be won and playoff berths will be decided. Last week we didn’t do too bad, with me (5-2) edging out Zach (4-3), thanks to a big Auburn victory that seems to have (thankfully) knocked Alabama out of playoff contention. Credit to Zach though…he has brought his season record back to .500, so I’m going to have to do my due diligence and stay on my toes for the remainder of the season. Most of the conference title games are at neutral sites with a couple of exceptions, and most take place on Saturday (with one notable Friday night game). Enjoy!!

My Season:        47-35

Zach’s Season:  41-41

 

 

 

 

 

 

Utah (-6.5)                     vs.              Oregon

Pac 12 Championship (Santa Clara, CA)

Oregon is out of playoff contention thanks to that tough November loss to Arizona St., but a conference championship and playing bigtime spoiler would be a nice consolation prize. Utah needs a domino or two to fall, and the playoff committee might hold a September loss to USC against them since the Trojans finished the regular season a slightly above average 8-4. But have you seen the Utes play?? They have the third best defense in the country, and their offense averages 36 points per game. In other words, they’re legit and would be a solid playoff team. The Ducks aren’t going to make it easy though. This is the Friday night game I mentioned and it should be a lot of fun. I think Utah has too much riding on the outcome and will play their best game. Conversely, Zach believes Oregon will really embrace a spoiler role.

My Pick:     Utah

Z’s Pick:     Oregon

 

 

 

Hawaii       at      Boise State (-14)

Mountain West Championship

I kind of feel sorry for Boise. Year in & year out they win 10 or 11 games and almost always play for the conference title, and their big reward is playing in the Las Vegas Bowl. Not that there is anything wrong with Vegas…I’ve been dying to visit there for years. Anyway, the Broncos have made a couple of splashes in the top bowl games, winning the Fiesta Bowl in 2007, 2010, & 2014. Will they receive a similar opportunity this season?? Well, first they’ll need to win this weekend, which I don’t think will be an issue. Zach thinks Hawaii is better than they’re being given credit for. He falls short of predicting an outright upset, but thinks it’ll definitely be closer than two TDs.

My Pick:     Boise State

Z’s Pick:     Hawaii

 

 

 

Virginia     vs.    Clemson (-28.5)

ACC Championship (Charlotte, NC)

First of all, I don’t believe that Clemson deserves to be in the playoff even if they win this game. Their conference is weak & their schedule is weak other than a non-conference win over Texas A&M. The talking heads can yap all they want to about “resume” and “body of work”, but the simple truth is that Clemson will receive a playoff spot because they are Clemson. They are being rewarded for their recent pedigree, not for what they’ve done this season. Having said that, I don’t think the Tigers will have any issues putting away Virginia. The Cavaliers have had a nice season and will head to a sweet bowl location, but they aren’t winning the ACC title. Will Clemson cover?? They usually do, so I’m just going to roll with it. Zach, on the other hand, is making the smart move. He doesn’t think Virginia will win, but he believes they’re good enough to stay within four TDs.

My Pick:     Clemson

Z’s Pick:     Virginia

 

 

 

Baylor                 vs.              Oklahoma (-9)

Big 12 Championship (Dallas, TX)

As much as I truly believe Utah deserves that fourth playoff berth the “experts” seem to be leaning toward Oklahoma because…well, they’re Oklahoma. People like ESPN’s Paul Finebaum are under the delusion that the masses would rather see the Sooners than the Utes compete for the national championship, but he’s absolutely wrong. Trust me, college football fans are tired of the same old thing. Most fans outside of Tuscaloosa are ecstatic that Alabama won’t be in the playoff, and we’d be just as thrilled to see Oklahoma on the outside looking in. These two teams just did battle a few weeks ago, with Oklahoma scoring a narrow three point victory. I think it’ll be just as close again, and I’m hoping for an upset. Conversely, Zach believes the Sooners will learn from the mistakes they made in the previous matchup and won’t trail the entire game, winning by double digits.

My Pick:     Baylor

Z’s Pick:     Oklahoma

 

 

 

Cincinnati                              at                         Memphis (-9.5)

American Athletic Championship

Speaking of rematches, these two teams just played each other a week ago. Memphis scored a ten point victory, which explains the point spread. The winner seems likely to beat out Boise for a New Year’s bowl game, although that’s certainly not etched in stone. At any rate, I see no reason to expect a different outcome from what we saw last weekend. Zach believes Memphis will win again but the Bearcats will make it closer than the first contest.

My Pick:     Memphis

Z’s Pick:     Cincinnai

 

 

 

Georgia                        vs.                       LSU (-7)

SEC Championship (Atlanta, GA)

I don’t think I’d be going too far out on a limb to predict that the Bayou Bengals will be a playoff team no matter what happens this week. Worst case scenario is that they drop to #4 with a loss. Conversely, the Bulldogs have to win to hold onto a playoff spot. These two teams have not played one another this year, so that adds a layer of intrigue. It may be instructive to look at a common opponent: Texas A&M. Georgia beat the Aggies by six points a few weeks ago, while the very next week LSU defeated the Aggies in a 43 point blowout. I don’t think LSU will break a sweat winning this game and will have their backups in early in the second half. Zach foresees a defensive struggle and thinks that LSU quarterback & leading Heisman candidate Joe Burrow will make the difference in the 4th quarter.

My Pick:     LSU

Z’s Pick:     LSU

 

 

 

Ohio State (-16.5)                          vs.                       Wisconsin

Big Ten Championship (Indianapolis, IN)

Much like LSU I don’t see any scenario in which the Buckeyes aren’t in the playoff. I also don’t believe there is any way they’ll lose this game. However, I do think Wisconsin is being overlooked a little bit. That mid-October loss at Illinois really screwed up their season, but they are a better team than that, and RB Jonathan Taylor should be the Heisman frontrunner. I foresee a scenario in which Ohio St….with the bigger picture in mind…decides not to risk injuries to their starters by playing them in the fourth quarter. That might not mean a Badger victory because Ohio St. would have to be ahead by a significant margin for them to make that decision, but it could allow the underdogs to score a couple of times and pull closer. Zach likes Ohio St. RB JK Dobbins, but opines that the Buckeyes have choked in big games in previous years. He not only believes it’ll be a close game, but is picking the outright upset.

My Pick:     Wisconsin

Z’s Pick:     Wisconsin

100 Memorable Movie Characters…Part 4

A film is…or should be …more like music than fiction. It should be a progression of moods & feelings. The theme, what’s behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later. – Stanley Kubrick

If you need to catch up with the first three parts of this series please go here, here, & here.

I decided to run some numbers because I’m nerdy like that. It surprises me how well balanced these rankings are when it comes to representation from the 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, and classics produced before I was born. What doesn’t surprise me is just how few characters from movies in the first couple of decades of this century made the cut. I’m not sure if that is a reflection on the subpar quality of newer films, the fact that they haven’t had time to really get a deep hold on our pop culture consciousness yet, or simply a manifestation of the singular entertainment taste of a middle-aged guy in flyover country. It’s probably all of the above. At any rate, enjoy!!

39         Ron Burgundy (Anchorman)

Will Ferrell is a polarizing comedic actor…either you enjoy his shtick or you hate it. I happen to find Ferrell amusing, although his film career has been decidedly uneven. Old School, Elf, Step Brothers, & Talladega Nights are hilarious, while Bewitched, The Campaign, Holmes & Watson, and The House failed miserably. Perhaps Ferrell’s greatest contribution to pop culture is his embodiment of news anchor Ron Burgundy. Though it is never stated when the storyline is set there are many indicators that it is in the 1970’s, making Burgundy a throwback of sorts, an hysterically exaggerated interpretation of a bygone era. Burgundy is pompous, misogynistic, vain, & mostly clueless, but he is good at his job. When he is forced to welcome a woman to his news team he doesn’t take it well and hilarity ensues. It’s the type of silly humor that kind of flies above the head of some, but if you get it you’ll be quite entertained. Ferrell throws himself completely into becoming Ron Burgundy, to the point that nearly everything he’s done afterward has paled in comparison. An Anchorman sequel was produced eight years after the original, but it couldn’t live up to its predecessor.

Quotes

“Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means ‘a whale’s vagina.”

“Great Odin’s raven!”

“The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show and see if she likes the goods.”

“I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of a big deal. I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.”

“I am going to have three fingers of Glenlivet with a little bit of pepper, and some cheese.”

“It’s quite pungent. It’s a formidable scent. It stings the nostrils…in a good way.”

“Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.”

“I’m in a glass case of emotion!”

“You are a smelly pirate hooker. Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?”

“It’s so damn hot!! Milk was a bad choice!!”

“I won’t be able to make it fellas. Veronica & I trying this new fad called uh, jogging. I believe it’s jogging or yogging. it might be a soft j. I’m not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It’s supposed to be wild.”

“You stay classy, San Diego.”

38     Biff Tannen (The Back to the Future Trilogy)

When actor/comedian Thomas Wilson first moved to Los Angeles to begin his career in entertainment he was roommates with Andrew Dice Clay & Yakov Smirnoff. That has nothing to do with anything in particular, but I find it amusing. Decades after co-staring in all three BTTF films Wilson began to tire of incessant & tedious questions from fans about them so he wrote Biff’s Question Song, which is quite funny (you can find it on YouTube). At any rate, Biff is a classic high school bully who…at different times (literally)…makes life tough for both George McFly & his son Marty. In BTTF 2 we get a glimpse of the future (October 21, 2015 was the future back in the early 90’s) wherein Biff…with a little help from a sports almanac…is a filthy rich tyrant running roughshod over Hill Valley, and there have been indications that Future Biff was based on Donald Trump. Personally I think that’s a bunch of poppycock, a narrative crafted by some because it just so happens to fit in a really vague way. Biff appears in various forms throughout the trilogy. In BTTF 2 there is an older version of Biff alongside his grandson Griff, and in BTTF 3, which takes place in The Old West, Marty & Doc are tormented by Biff’s ancestor Mad Dog Tannen, who is sort of a Jesse James-esque outlaw. In all his incarnations Biff is the quintessential comedic bad guy, someone we immensely enjoy seeing get his just deserts.

Quotes

“Why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here?”

“Hello? Hello? Anybody home? Huh? Think, McFly! Think!”

“What are you looking at, butthead?”

37     Elwood P. Dowd (Harvey)

It can’t be easy acting with an imaginary rabbit, but that’s exactly what James Stewart does in Harvey. Elwood is a nice enough fellow, but his insistence on treating his pal Harvey as a real creature drives his family nuts. Though Elwood is fond of the drink and hangs out in a bar no one is sure if his…friendship…with Harvey is a result of that proclivity or if he truly is mentally ill. Through a series of misunderstandings & classic farce it is Elwood’s sister that ends up institutionalized, but then the hunt commences for Elwood himself. By the end of the film Elwood has convinced the doctor of Harvey’s existence and his sister decides she’d rather her brother remain…eccentric…than become “normal” thru treatment. Stewart received his fourth Academy Award nomination for Best Actor but lost to José Ferrer for his role in Cyrano de Bergerac.

Quotes

“Well, I’ve wrestled with reality for 35 years and I’m happy to state I finally won out over it.”

“I always have a wonderful time, wherever I am, whoever I’m with.”

“That’s envy, my dear. There’s a little bit of envy in the best of us. That’s too bad, isn’t it?”

“You see, science has overcome time & space. Well, Harvey has overcome not only time & space…but any objections.”

36     The Joker (multiple films)

The Joker is Batman’s oldest & fiercest rival, making his debut in the inaugural comic book way back in 1940. Since then he has appeared in every medium that The Caped Crusader has, including multiple animated & live action films. His backstory & certain details vary in all of those movies, but he is usually depicted as a psychopath with a bleach white face, bright red lips that form a grotesque smile, & green hair. Though the origins may differ The Joker is most often a “normal” guy who somehow becomes disfigured then descends into madness. He doesn’t seem to have any kind of extraordinary abilities…he’s just really smart, completely sadistic, & batshit crazy (pun unintended). By far my favorite Joker is Jack Nicholson’s turn in Tim Burton’s 1989 Batman. Nicholson should have received an Oscar nomination for his performance, but had to settle for a Golden Globe nomination for Best Performance in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical. He faced stiff competition from Morgan Freeman (Driving Miss Daisy), Billy Crystal (When Harry Met Sally), Michael Douglas (The War of the Roses), & Steve Martin (Parenthood), with Freeman ultimately taking home the prize. Heath Ledger did win the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his take on The Joker in 2008’s The Dark Knight. Though the performance is undeniably stellar my feeling has always been that it is more fondly regarded in the wake of Ledger’s tragic death than it otherwise may have been. I have not seen Jared Leto’s Joker in 2016’s Suicide Squad or Joaquin Phoenix in Joker, which is currently in theaters, though I expect that I’ll catch both on video sometime in the future. Whatever one’s particular favorite might be the fact is that The Joker is a cornerstone supervillain in comic book films and an unforgettable character no matter who portrays him or what kind of spin they put on the story.

Quotes

“Wait ’til they get a load of me!” (Batman 1989)

“I believe that whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you stranger. (The Dark Knight)

“You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?” (Batman 1989)

“I’m not a monster. I’m just ahead of the curve.” (The Dark Knight)

“Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a bat gets all of my press?? This town needs an enema!” (Batman 1989)

“Introduce a little anarchy…upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I’m an agent of chaos.” (The Dark Knight)

“Never rub another man’s rhubarb!” (Batman 1989)

“I’m a man of simple tastes. I like dynamite & gunpowder… and gasoline! Do you know what all of these things have in common? They’re cheap!” (The Dark Knight)

“I do what other people only dream…I make art until someone dies. I am the world’s first fully functioning homicidal artist.” (Batman 1989)

35     The Dude (The Big Lebowski)

His name is Jeffrey Lebowski, and that’s important because the crux of the film is mistaken identity. The bad guys are actually after the other Jeffrey Lebowski, an elderly millionaire whose wife screwed them out of some money. The plot is a comedic heist farce that is strangely fun, but honestly the characters & their interactions are what one remembers about the movie. The Dude is a middle-aged, unemployed slacker who spends his days smoking pot and his nights bowling, drinking a lot of White Russians along the way. He has a really laid back devil-may-care attitude, though he seems to be fairly intelligent & insightful. Needless to say, the action-packed drama he becomes involved in thanks to the other Lebowski is in direct contrast to The Dude’s normally easygoing lifestyle, which makes the movie an interesting twist on the fish-out-of-water formula. It actually inspired an entire philosophy called Dudeism , which advocates & encourages the practice of “going with the flow”, “being cool headed”, and “taking it easy” in the face of life’s difficulties, believing that this is the only way to live in harmony with our inner nature and the challenges of interacting with other people. Dudeism aims to assuage feelings of inadequacy that arise from society’s emphasis on achievement & personal fortune, alternatively encouraging a preference for simple pleasures like bathing, bowling, & hanging out with friends. Louisville, KY began hosting an annual Lebowski Fest in 2002, and several other cities have followed suit, including London, England.

Quotes

“Look, let me explain something to you. I’m not Mr. Lebowski. You’re Mr. Lebowski. I’m the Dude. So that’s what you call me. That, or His Dudeness … Duder … or El Duderino, if, you know, you’re not into the whole brevity thing.”

“Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.”

“I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.”

“Yeah, well – The Dude abides.”

“This is a very complicated case. You know, a lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-you’s. And, uh, lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder’s head. Luckily I’m adhering to a pretty strict drug regimen to keep my mind, you know, limber.”

34     Bluto Blutarsky (Animal House)

John Belushi died way too young at the age of 33 in 1982. He only starred in eight movies after being one of SNL’s original Not Ready for Primetime Players for four seasons, but amongst those far too few films are Animal House & The Blues Brothers, both of which remain irrefutable comedy classics four decades later. When I attended college in the early 90’s I joined a fraternity hoping it would be half as much fun as Animal House. My brothers & I were better students than the party animals of Delta Tau Chi and not quite as rowdy, but we had fun and were certainly inspired to a degree by the movie. With the exception of a cameo by the legendary Donald Sutherland. Belushi was the biggest star in the film, even though Bluto probably has less dialogue than most of the cast. Bluto provides a unique brand of physical comedy, a prime example of using the fat dumpy guy for laughs. Belushi could get a chuckle out of the audience simply by the way he moved or even with just facial expressions. One of Animal House’s most celebrated scenes is the food fight in the cafeteria, but go back & watch…we only see about two seconds of the actual food fight. What makes it memorable are Belushi’s actions leading up to it, and he barely says anything.

Quotes

“See if you can guess what I am now. I’m a zit. Get it?”

“TOGA! TOGA!”

“What? Over? Did you say ‘over’? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! And it ain’t over now. ‘Cause when the goin’ gets tough . . . the tough get goin’! Who’s with me? Let’s go!”

“My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.”

33     The Shark (Jaws)

One could argue that The Shark is the real star of Steven Spielberg’s 1975 classic. What’s really interesting is the behind-the-scenes stories wherein we learn about all the issues cast & crew faced while filming. One of the biggest problems was the mechanical shark (which they named Bruce), which regularly malfunctioned. This forced Spielberg to retool the script and altered Jaws from what would have been a straight up horror movie to more of a suspenseful Hitchcockian experience. For example, in the opening scene the shark was originally supposed to be seen fully devouring a late night swimmer, but instead what we got was the woman being dragged underwater kicking & screaming by some unknown force. Limited usage of the mechanical shark makes the moments that we do see the creature that much more impactful, and that arguably created a better film. I was frightened for years by the idea of sharks after seeing Jaws (it didn’t help that I was probably 7 or 8 years old the first time I saw it), and even now I have zero interest in swimming in the ocean. Multiple sequels followed the original Jaws, to the point that it became a joke in 1989’s Back to the Future Part II (Jaws 19…this time it’s really, really, really personal!! lol). Even though none of those sequels lived up to the original and only served to soil its legacy we shouldn’t forget that the first one is a truly great movie, in no small part thanks to its scary lead character.

32     Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs)

Speaking of scary…

Sir Anthony Hopkins’ interpretation of Dr. Lecter is legendarily disturbing, a role for which he won the Academy Award for Best Actor. Hannibal “The Cannibal” is a forensic psychiatrist who also happens to be a serial killer, which actually makes a lot of sense. After landing in prison he is consulted by the FBI when they’re trying to track down other psychopaths, and in Silence he is interviewed by young agent Clarice Starling, who is on the trail of serial killer Buffalo Bill. Despite his homicidal tendencies Dr. Lecter is a well-to-do, culturally refined man with erudite tastes in food, wine, music, & art. The dichotomy is a large part of what makes the character so fascinating. Like it or not we all have pre-conceived notions & tend to put folks in neat little boxes, and typically we don’t think of brilliant & sophisticated people as murderers, although when one really ponders the idea it’s much more logical that an intelligent individual with financial means would get away with such crimes than a stupid and/or poor person. Hopkins portrayed Lecter in Silence as well as prequel Red Dragon and sequel Hannibal. I have read all three books, but didn’t see the prequel & only watched bits & pieces of the sequel (it wasn’t good at all). It is my understanding that another prequel book & film…Hannibal Rising…was produced as well, but I guess I wasn’t paying attention.

Quotes

“A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.”

“We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don’t you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice? And don’t your eyes seek out the things you want?”

“Well, Clarice, have the lambs stopped screaming? Don’t bother with a trace, I won’t be on long enough. I have no plans to call on you, Clarice. The world’s more interesting with you in it. So you take care now to extend me the same courtesy. I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner. Bye.”

31     Jake & Elwood Blues (The Blues Brothers)

The Blues Brothers first appeared on an episode of Saturday Night Live on January 17, 1976. Well…kind of. The sketch was actually called “Howard Shore and his All-Bee Band” and had John Belushi singing while Dan Aykroyd played harmonica…both dressed in bee costumes. Aykroyd had long been an aficionado of blues music and turned Belushi into a huge fan as well. Aykroyd owned a bar in New York and the duo used to sing blues music there at SNL after parties. They came up with the idea for a band, complete with fictional backstories, which went out on the road and produced an album in 1978 called Briefcase Full of Blues, recorded live when The Blues Brothers were the opening act for comedian Steve Martin. A few months before that they had made their official SNL debut. The film came along in 1980 and was the tenth highest grossing movie of the year (ranked above it: The Empire Strikes Back, Airplane!, Coal Miner’s Daughter, and Smokey & The Bandit 2, just to name a few). The whole idea of the two characters’ having a quite detailed background then forming a very real band that performed concerts and made a hit record before a movie was even made is pure genius. Their music & outfits contribute tremendously to the full effect, which adds up to The Blues Brothers still being a part of the pop culture zeitgeist four decades later. Belushi’s untimely death is sad for many reasons, but one of them has to be the fact that we probably would have gotten one or two more Blues Brothers flicks. We did get a sequel in 1998 called Blues Brothers 2000 in which John Goodman stepped into the void as Mighty Mac Blues, but it just didn’t have the same appeal as the original.

Quotes

“Are you the police? “No, ma’am. We’re musicians.” (Elwood)

“Yes! Yes! Jesus H. tap-dancing Christ… I have seen the light!!” (Jake)

“It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.” (Elwood)

“Four fried chickens and a Coke.” (Jake)

“We’re on a mission from God.” (Elwood)

“I hate Illinois Nazis!” (Jake)

“We’re so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight. And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois’s law enforcement community who have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time. We do sincerely hope you all enjoy the show. And please remember, people, that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there are still some things that make us all the same. You. Me. Them. Everybody. “ (Elwood)

30     Professor Severus Snape (The Harry Potter Series)

Alan Rickman had an interesting career. He was a member of the Royal Shakespeare Company, but didn’t find mass success until his 40’s after starring as terrorist Hans Gruber in the classic Christmas caper Die Hard. More than a decade later he became popular with the sci-fi nerd crowd after starring in Galaxy Quest. Then a few years after that he really hit the jackpot when the Harry Potter series was translated to film.  To call Professor Snape complicated would be a vast understatement. His story plays out in seven films in the course of a decade, and we’re never quite sure whose side he is on. Is he a faithful servant of the dark Lord Voldemort?? Or is he a double agent whose true allegiance lies with Professor Albus Dumbledore?? We eventually learn that Snape was a classmate of Harry’s parents James & Lily Potter, and that Snape loved Lily but was pretty much bullied by James & his pal Sirius Black. At one time Snape was one of Voldemort’s Deatheaters, but switched allegiances in an effort to protect Lily. His feelings toward Harry are complex, a mix of the animosity he felt toward the boy’s father & the affection he had for the boy’s mother, but ultimately it is revealed that much of what he did over the years was meant to save Harry’s life. It is a tribute to Rickman’s immense talent that Snape’s screen presence is so cold, acerbic, arrogant, & borderline cruel yet retains a sense of mystery & vulnerability. Credit must be given to author JK Rowling for creating such a complex character, but we all know that a great book doesn’t always evolve into a great movie, and while I still like the Potter books much more than the movies it must be said that Rickman’s portrayal of Snape isn’t one of the reasons why.

Quotes

“Control your emotions. Discipline your mind!!

“I don’t expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses… I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death — if you aren’t as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach.”

“You dare use my own spells against me, Potter? Yes, I’m the Half-Blood Prince.”

“The Dark Arts are many, varied, ever-changing, and eternal. Fighting them is like fighting a many-headed monster, which, each time a neck is severed, sprouts a head even fiercer and cleverer than before. You are fighting that which is unfixed, mutating, indestructible.”

“It may have escaped your notice, but life isn’t fair.”

29     The Cowardly Lion, The Tin Man, & The Scarecrow (The Wizard of Oz)

I seem to recall that when I was a child The Wizard of Oz was offered as a special television presentation once a year. That idea seems quaint now when we can watch almost anything we want anytime we choose, especially old movies. Author L. Frank Baum actually wrote a series of 14 Oz books in the first two decades of the 20th century, but the beloved 1939 film is based on the original book The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. It was one of ten nominees for Best Picture (a field that included Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Goodbye Mr. Chipps, Of Mice & Men, and the winner – Gone with the Wind). One can choose to view Oz many different ways, but I’ll leave it to people much smarter than me to do that kind of analysis. Taken at face value we can all relate to guys like The Cowardly Lion, who seeks courage…The Tin Man, who wishes for a heart, and The Scarecrow, who only wants a brain. These are endearing but imperfect characters who recognize what they lack and engage in a journey to be made whole. It has been suggested that The Wizard represents God, Oz is Heaven, and The Yellow Brick Road is a kind of path to enlightenment. I don’t know if that’s true, but if it is it’s no wonder we feel a connection to these flawed characters seeking redemption.

Quotes

“If I only had a brain.” (Scarecrow)

“Courage! What makes a King out of a slave? Courage! (Cowardly Lion)

“If I only had a heart.” (Tin Man)

28     ET (ET: The Extra-Terrestrial)

Our fascination with outer space & aliens goes back many decades, but it feels like most of the time sci-fi treats such creatures as villains that we humans are to fear. Not ET. He’s about as loveable as anything that a UFO has ever stranded on Earth. He befriends 10 year old Elliott & the boy’s family, and in a harbinger of things to come with product placement in movies develops an affinity for Reese’s Pieces, which had only been on the market for five years. Actually the original script called for the use of M&M’s, but the Mars Candy Co. declined a deal that Hershey ultimately accepted. Of course we all know how these stories end and eventually Elliott & his pals help ET evade capture by government agents and hop a ship back to his home planet. Anyone over the age of 40 can tell you what ET looks & sounds like, and Reese’s Pieces are still going strong. I’d say that’s a solid legacy.

Quotes

“Phone. Home. E.T. home phone.”

27     Jason, Michael, & Freddy (slasher flicks)

I am a child of the 80’s, and horror films were a big deal back then. While I am not a huge fan of the genre kudos must be given to three cornerstones, especially since they have appeared in a whopping 33 films (with more to come I’m sure). The only horror movie I really like is the original 1978 Halloween in which Michael Myers murders his older sister and ends up in a sanitarium at the tender age of six, only to escape fifteen years later and return home to the sleepy little hamlet of Haddonfield, IL on Halloween night to engage in a killing spree. Numerous sequels and reboots have been made, but all they’ve done is muddle the mythology and water down the understated brilliance of the original. Michael is referred to in the credits as The Shape, and his appearance is notable for the whited out William Shatner mask he wears. He never says a word, and we aren’t really supposed to know why he does what he does except that he is the embodiment of “pure evil” (one of the key elements the sequels & remakes ruined). Just as Jaws made the idea of swimming in the ocean perpetually frightening Jason Voorhees had a negative impact on summer camp for an entire generation & singlehandedly proliferated the ideas of triskaidekaphobia & paraskevidekatriaphobia (look them up…I can’t do everything). The backstory is that Jason is the young son of the cook at Camp Crystal Lake, and when he drowns as a boy his mother goes nuts and starts killing people. As it turns out he isn’t as dead as everyone thought, which means Mom’s revenge was needless. But now she’s dead and he’s the one seeking vengeance. At any rate, Jason is known for wearing a hockey mask, although he didn’t actually do that until Part 3. The backstory for Freddy Krueger is a little stronger. He’s a child killer in small town Ohio who lures his victims to a boiler room before shredding them with a bladed leather glove. After he gets out of jail on a technicality he is hunted down & burned alive by a mob of angry parents. Years later, though his physical body is dead he lives on and haunts the dreams of local teenagers. Everything about Freddy is memorable, from his history to his clothes to his burnt face. And really, the idea of an evil force haunting our dreams is super creepy and borderline genius.

26     Obi-Wan Kenobi & Master Yoda (The Star Wars Trilogy)

Wise old gurus who seem to understand the mysteries of life and pass on their knowledge to young protagonists are a cornerstone of cinema, and nowhere is it done better than in the Star Wars universe. Ben Kenobi is initially introduced as an old recluse living on Tattoine near Owen & Beru Lars and their nephew Luke Skywalker. After his aunt & uncle’s death Luke is mentored by the elderly man, who we find out was a great & powerful Jedi warrior. His relationship with Luke’s father is a huge part of the franchise. Obi-Wan is killed by his nemesis Darth Vader in the first film, but appears as a Force ghost in the latter two parts of the original trilogy. A younger Obi-wan is a significant player in the prequel trilogy as we see his relationship with Anakin Skywalker from beginning to end. Sir Alec Guinness was already a living legend by the time he originated the role of Obi-Wan Kenobi, having won the Academy Award for Best Actor in 1957 for his role in The Bridge on the River Kwai. During his career he received four Oscar nominations, including a Best Supporting Actor nod for Star Wars (he lost to Jason Robards). Guinness famously had a…complicated…relationship with Star Wars, calling it “fairytale rubbish” and the dialogue “banal mumbo jumbo”. It was his idea to kill the character off in the first movie as he “shriveled up” at the mere mention of Star Wars. Luckily for George Lucas he didn’t face the same ego-driven obstacles with Yoda since it was essentially a puppet voiced by Frank Oz (the same guy who provided the voice for other famous characters like Miss Piggy, Fozzy Bear, Cookie Monster, & Ernie’s pal Bert). Yoda is the Jedi Master of Jedi Masters, a 900 year old two foot tall creature with wrinkled green skin and an odd…almost dyslexic…speech pattern who we don’t meet until he trains Luke Skywalker on Dagobah in The Empire Strikes Back. It is his appearance & the way he talks that makes Yoda so memorable. I’m far too lazy to do the required research, but I’d bet that Yoda was one of the top selling Halloween costumes in the early 80’s.

Quotes

“The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It is an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the galaxy together.” (Obi-Wan Kenobi)

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” (Yoda)

“You’re going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view. The truth is often what we make of it…you heard what you wanted to hear, believed what you wanted to believe.” (Obi-Wan Kenobi)

“Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealously. The shadow of greed, that is.” (Yoda)

“I felt a great disturbance in the Force… as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.” (Obi-Wan Kenobi)

“Do or do not, there is no try.” (Yoda)

“Your eyes can deceive you. Don’t trust them.” (Obi-Wan Kenobi)

“Mind what you have learned. Save you it can.” (Yoda)

“If you define yourself by the power to take life, the desire to dominate, to possess…then you have nothing.” (Obi-Wan Kenobi)

“Attachment leads to jealously. The shadow of greed, that is.” (Yoda)

“Be mindful of your thoughts…they betray you.” (Obi-Wan Kenobi)

“If no mistake have you made, yet losing you are… a different game you should play.” (Yoda)

“If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.” (Obi-Wan Kenobi)

Let’s take a break. We’ll resume with the Top 25 soon.

2019 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…Week 13

It’s Rivalry Week in college football, and while conference realignment has obliterated too much of that sacred tradition there are a few tasty morsels remaining. One game we will not be picking though is Ohio St./Michigan. Y’all know we don’t pick Steelers, WV Mountaineers, or Marshall Thundering Herd games specifically because Zach & I both love the Steelers, I’m a Marshall alum, & we’ve both grown up as Mountaineer fans. So it dawned on me that perhaps it is a bit unfair to make Zach pick games involving his beloved Wolverines, atleast when the game is as important as this one. Fortunately there are enough interesting options that we have a full slate+ even without that game. Some of these occur on Black Friday, most are on Saturday. I won’t remember exactly which is which, but The Manoverse is smart enough to figure it out. Best wishes to all for a Happy Thanksgiving.

My Season:        42-33

Zach’s Season:  37-38

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cincinnati                             at                Memphis (-10.5)

We don’t pick a lot of “Group of Five” games, but this one is kind of important. The best team from the “other” five conferences gets an opportunity to face one of the big boys in a New Year’s bowl game, and right now it looks like the winner of this game will have a leg up on the competition, although Boise St. is in the mix as well. On top of all that, Cincinnati has already clinched a spot in the AAC title game, and Memphis could do the same with a victory, so there could be a rematch next week. Actually a rematch is pretty much a done deal because Memphis would hold tiebreakers over both Navy & SMU. At any rate, the Tigers have the home field and are riding a five game win streak, while the only blemish for the Bearcats is an early September loss to Ohio St., which is nothing to be ashamed of. I’m not sure why Memphis is a double digit favorite even playing at home. The points are enough to scare me off and choose Cincinnati. Zach concurs and thinks it’ll be a high scoring affair decided by single digits.

My Pick:     Cincinnati

Z’s Pick:     Cincinnati

 

 

 

 

Oregon State               at                Oregon (-19.5)

They call this game The Civil War and it goes back 125 years. The Ducks were in the playoff hunt but got upset last week. They’ve already sewn up a spot in the Pac 12 title game though, so they can focus their attention on battling Utah for a trip to the Rose Bowl. The Beavers are 5-6 and need a victory to achieve bowl eligibility. I don’t think that’s going to happen, but what about the points?? 19 & a half is a lot…but I’m rolling the dice and taking the home favorites to cover. Zach agrees. He likes the Ducks to rebound from that heartbreaking loss and win this one in a blowout.

My Pick:     Oregon

Z’s Pick:     Oregon

 

 

 

 

Clemson (-27)             at                South Carolina

Has Clemson actually played anyone other than Texas A&M?? Why are they in the playoff conversation?? I was under the impression that what happened last year isn’t supposed to matter, but clearly the committee takes reputation into account. Having said that, I don’t think South Carolina can pull off another upset like they did against Georgia back in October, but can they stay within four TDs?? The Gamecocks have the home field, and if they have a shred of pride & an ounce of fight left in them I surely hope they can atleast keep it respectable. Zach thinks Clemson is overrated but concedes that they will be in the playoff. With that in mind he foresees Dabo Swinney calling off the dogs and playing conservatively in the second half.

My Pick:     South Carolina

Z’s Pick:     South Carolina

 

 

 

 

Arizona               at                Arizona State (-13.5)

We were all over our pal Herm Edwards and his early season success with the Sun Devils, but they’ve kind of fallen off a bit in the past couple of months…until last week’s huge upset of Oregon. At 6-5 State has already achieved bowl eligibility, while the 4-7 Wildcats aren’t going anywhere but home after this game. They call this the Duel in the Desert, but I don’t anticipate much of a contest. It might be fairly close for 2 or 3 quarters, but I think State is clearly the superior team and will win easily. Zach concurs.

My Pick:     Arizona State

Z’s Pick:     Arizona State

 

 

 

 

Wisconsin (-2.5)                            at                         Minnesota

There are games that will get more attention, but we shouldn’t overlook the Battle for Paul Bunyan’s Axe, a rivalry that goes back 128 years. On top of the long history this year’s contest features two teams hoping for a Top Ten finish, even if it is likely they’ll both miss the playoff. The winner will receive the opportunity to get beaten by Ohio St. in the Big Ten title game, but both teams will land in very nice bowl locations. The Badgers are 9-2 and have to be kicking themselves for that close October loss to Illinois. The 9-2 Gophers were an early playoff contender, but losing at Iowa a couple of weeks ago killed that dream. I’m predicting a good old-fashioned slugfest…classic smashmouth football. In that case I like Wisconsin’s offensive line to wear down the opposition and snag a win in the 4th quarter. Zach agrees and thinks Wisconsin will ride Heisman Trophy candidate & the nation’s second leading rusher Jonathan Taylor to victory.

My Pick:     Wisconsin

Z’s Pick:     Wisconsin

 

 

 

Oklahoma (-13)           at                Oklahoma State

They call this game Bedlam, and that could be the case if the Cowboys pull off the upset at home. For some reason there are still a few talking heads who seem to believe that the Sooners have a shot to make the playoff. Anything is possible, but they’d need to have three teams currently ranked above them fall. One definitely will (the loser of the SEC title game). Two is possible. Three is probably asking too much. Nevertheless, they do have a date with Baylor in the Big 12 title game, and finishing the season with two big wins could impress the committee. State has shown me no reason to believe that they can hang with their in-state rival, so I think this is going to be a rather easy win for the road favorites. Zach agrees.

My Pick:     Oklahoma

Z’s Pick:     Oklahoma

 

 

 

 

Alabama (-3.5)             at                Auburn

The Iron Bowl is always entertaining, but when there is something on the line besides bragging rights it’s even more fun. I’ve always thought that the playoff committee would do everything they possibly could to get the Tide into the playoff no matter what, and this season is no exception. Georgia will meet LSU in the SEC title game, but since ‘Bama is currently ranked fifth it feels like that fourth spot will come down to Utah (if they win the Pac 12 championship), maybe Oklahoma, possibly the loser of the SEC championship (especially if that is LSU)…and Alabama. In that scenario don’t be surprised if Nick Saban gets an early Christmas gift. But…but…they have to take care of business this week first and that’s easier said than done. Auburn is 8-3 but all three losses have come in the past six weeks. I really don’t know what to expect, but I think it’ll come down to the final five minutes and be decided by less than a field goal. Conversely, Zach thinks ‘Bama will be able to run the ball and get a decisive win.

My Pick:     Auburn

Z’s Pick:     Alabama

2019 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…Week 12

Last week’s results were surprisingly decent given the amount of games we picked and the number of those contests in which the points played an important part. I (7-4) lengthened my season lead over Zach (6-5) slightly, but all in all I am inclined to not pick so many games again anytime soon. College football is in the home stretch and the NFL has passed mid-season, but there is lots of fantastic football remaining. I am hopeful that includes a playoff berth by our Pittsburgh Steelers, a fun bowl location for my Marshall Thundering Herd, and any kind of post-season appearance for the West Virginia Mountaineers, although only one of those three things seem likely at the moment.

My Season:        39-31

Zach’s Season:  34-36

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Penn State                   at                Ohio State (-17.5)

This is the big matchup of the weekend. The Buckeyes are undefeated and #2 in the rankings. A lot can still happen, but their playoff spot seems to be secure unless they lose twice in the next few weeks, which seems unlikely. The Nittany Lions fell to Minnesota a couple of weeks ago and are currently ranked #8, but there is a path to the playoff if they win the Big Ten title game and a couple of other dominoes fall. If this game were in Happy Valley my perspective might be different, but it’s in Columbus so I just can’t imagine Ohio St. will lose. But will they cover?? 17+ points is a lot. Penn St. rebounded nicely from their loss with a victory over Indiana, but that’s not exactly impressive. I’m going to climb out on that fragile limb and predict that the Buckeyes will open up a can o’ whoopass at home. They don’t necessarily need “style points”, but it can’t hurt. Zach reluctantly admits that the Buckeyes are playing on another level and defensive end Chase Young is a legit force who’s difficult to stop. However, he isn’t comfortable with the points and is hopeful that Penn St. will step up & atleast cover.

My Pick:     Ohio State

Z’s Pick:     Penn State

 

 

 

 

Texas A&M                  at                Georgia (-13.5)

Another week, another brutally tough opponent for the Aggies. The #4 Bulldogs are back in the playoff hunt and their inexplicable double overtime loss to South Carolina last month is all but forgotten. They’ve already secured a spot in the SEC title game and will likely play #1 LSU, so a loss this week doesn’t necessarily kill their playoff hopes if they go on to win the conference championship. Meanwhile, at 7-3 A&M is playing for bowl position. They’re building for the future and haven’t looked that bad in losses to Clemson, Auburn, & ‘Bama (LSU lies ahead next week). Could this be a not-as-surprising-as-you’d-think upset?? I won’t go that far, but Georgia has been shown to be somewhat vulnerable and I think A&M is atleast as good as if not better than South Carolina, so I believe this game will be decided by less than two TDs. Zach is quite specific in opining that A&M will keep things close until 6 minutes to go in the 3rd quarter. I’m not sure what’s going to happen then, but if that is indeed precisely when the tide turns I’m taking that young man to Vegas immediately. He just feels like Georgia has too much offensive firepower.

My Pick:     Texas A&M

Z’s Pick:     Georgia

 

 

 

Texas                  at                Baylor (-5.5)

Baylor was so close to beating Oklahoma!! Unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be, which validated all of the disrespect they were getting. That’s too bad because I think they Bears are legitimately a good team. Fortunately for them they will get a rematch in the Big 12 title game. The Longhorns aren’t necessarily worse than I predicted, it’s just that a couple of surprising teams jumped them in the standings. After losing a tight one to Iowa St. a week ago the same logic I applied to that game can be used here…I think Texas is athletically superior and will keep the game close, whether or not they can close in the 4th quarter. If Baylor wins it’ll be by less than a touchdown. Zach thinks Texas is too inconsistent and predicts that Baylor will rebound nicely with a comfortable win.

My Pick:     Texas

Z’s Pick:     Baylor

 

 

 

 

Seattle                          at                Philadelphia (-1.5)

So I guess everybody is jumping off of the Russell Wilson bandwagon and hopping aboard the Lamar Jackson Express. Personally I believe that to be fool’s gold, but we’ll see. The Seahawks are 8-2 but battling the San Francisco 49ers for the NFC West crown. They’re riding a three game winning streak. The Eagles are in a dogfight with the Dallas Cowboys for the NFC East and probably need to win the division to make the playoffs. I think Seattle has the better team right now and Wilson is just playing lights out. I don’t believe Philly will be able to stop him. Zach concurs.

My Pick:     Seattle

Z’s Pick:     Seattle

 

 

 

Green Bay                   at                San Francisco (-3)

A-A-Ron vs. Jimmy G. is the QB skirmish you never knew you always wanted to see, and we’ll all have a front row seat on Sunday night (well…I’ll be watching WWE Survivor Series, but someone keep me posted). This will certainly be ‘Frisco’s toughest test yet, but atleast it’s at home instead of The Frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field. I thought the Packers would be battling the Chicago Bears for NFC North supremacy, but instead it’s the Minnesota Vikings who are posing a challenge. Okay okay…to be honest way back in August I predicted both the Vikings & Packers would go 8-8 while the Bears easily won the division, but obviously that’s not how things have played out. At any rate, I think I like the 49ers defense a little more and that’s enough for me to pick them. Conversely, Zach thinks Rodgers is just too good and will have a big game.

My Pick:     San Francisco

Z’s Pick:     Green Bay