The Walking Dead

To TV or Not to TV??

Okay, so…y’all know I’m not above borrowing a concept I’ve seen on social media and putting my own special spin on it for The Manoverse. This time the inspiration comes not from Pinterest but from Facebook. A former co-worker of mine posted it, and basically one is supposed to just indicate which of these television shows we’ve seen more than ten episodes of with a lil heart emoji. That’s a cool idea, but I think I can improve upon it with pithy comments and my own unique wit. I don’t watch as much television as I used to, and this exercise not only proves that but shows exactly why. Enjoy.

 

 

 

My 600LB Life

I’ve been overweight my entire life. There are legit reasons for that (the main one being that I really like food), and so I sympathize with the struggle of others. But no…I have no desire to watch a reality show about the topic and be “entertained” by other peoples’ problems.

  

911

I don’t know…is this another reality show?? Does it follow first responders to 911 calls?? Or is it a fictional show built around such situations?? Either way, I am not entertained by such things.

  

13 Reasons Why

I remember hearing about the show. Something about teen suicide. No thanks. I’m not a teenager and have no teens in my family. If it’s a good show with an educational message that can positively impact the lives of young viewers that’s great, but it’s not for me.

 

 

A Million Little Things

Almost. I nearly got sucked into this ensemble drama because the ads had a very This Is Us kind of vibe and I am familiar with some in the cast. However, I chose not to become interested because I knew it’d be the kind of show that demands a heavy emotional commitment and that’s just not where I am in my life right now.

  

American Horror Story

Nah…horror just isn’t my thing.

  

Angel

Wasn’t it a spinoff from Buffy the Vampire Slayer?? I didn’t watch the first show, so no…I didn’t care about the spinoff.

 

 Bates Motel

I assume it is loosely based on Psycho?? Once again…not my cup o’ tea. I prefer to laugh.

  

Bitten

I have no idea. It’s either about snakes or vampires. Either way I have zero interest.

  

The Blacklist

I dig James Spader. He’s quirky…kind of a knockoff Jeff Goldblum. But spies & intrigue & the whole “let’s rip off Hannibal Lechter” vibe I got when previews of the show first aired a few years ago just don’t frost my cupcake.

 

 

Bloodline

No idea

 

 Blue Bloods

Tom Selleck is cool, but police procedurals rarely interest me and I’ve never watched a single episode.

  

Bones

I don’t even know what the show is about.

 

Breaking Bad

I see it constantly lauded as one of the best TV shows of the 21st century, but I never understood the popularity of a story about a high school chemistry teacher who becomes a drug dealer.

  

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Nope. Vampires. Zombies. Werewolves. I don’t find any of it the least bit interesting.

 

Californication

Wasn’t that a Red Hot Chili Peppers album??

  

Castle

No…just…no.

 

Castle Rock

I assume it is somehow connected to or inspired by Stephen King?? I don’t know. I’ve enjoyed some of King’s books, but have no interest in a TV show.

 

 

Catfish

I enjoy eating catfish, but knowing what the word means outside of that I don’t believe the show would interest me.

 

 Chicago Fire / Chicago Med / Chicago P.D.

I vaguely recall watching an episode or two of one of these shows…not sure which one. But again…medical dramas & police procedurals have never been something I enjoyed all that much.

  

Criminal Minds

Nope

  

Dexter

I’ve heard people say it’s a good show, but a serial killer?? I’m telling y’all…I need to laugh!!

  

Dr. Pimple Popper

Eww. Is it a medical thing?? A kiddie show?? I have no clue, and I don’t care to know.

 

 Dr Who

I have several friends who really dig Dr. Who, and it seems like the kind of nerdvana that I should be into. It is my understanding that there’s time travel involved, which is cool. But here’s the thing…the original incarnation of Dr. Who premiered a decade before I was even born, and it was a British show. By the time it was revived and available in America (16 years after it had originally ended) I already had preconceived notions and never even thought of checking it out. Don’t misunderstand…people can change and should be flexible. However, I think by the time we are in our 30s the die is cast as far as what kinds of entertainment…TV, music, books, movies…we tend to gravitate toward, and Dr. Who seems to have come along both too early and too late for me.

 

 

Empire

I hadn’t given a second thought to Empire until last year when that idiot actor was in the news for faking an attack on himself. That whole story makes me thrice as glad that I never watched.

  

ER

Once upon a time it was thought to be the best show on television. It launched George Clooney into superstardom and jumpstarted the careers of several others. But it’s a hospital drama, and I don’t do hospital shows. I did watch a handful of episodes in the course of the dozen seasons ER was on the air, and it was a well written program with a top notch cast, but it’s just not my thing.

  

Family Guy

There was a time in my life when Family Guy might have been right up my alley, but apparently by the time the show premiered in 1999 that time had passed. I’m probably missing out on something I’d enjoy, but it seems a bit late in the game to give a rat’s petoot now.

 

 

Friends

Yes yes yes…I loved Friends and still watch the occasional rerun. I am amused by things I read about how offensive Friends is to millennials. I suppose GenX wasn’t all that woke back in the day, and that’s fine by me. We know how to chill out & have some fun without getting offended by every damn thing.

 

 

Fuller House

Yes…I like Fuller House. There, I said it!! Is the acting bad & the storylines cheesy?? Sure. But that’s okay. Not everything has to be award-winning, ripped from the headlines, or deep & meaningful. Pointless fun is alright on occasion.

 

 

Game of Thrones

I tried to read the first book in the Game of Thrones series and made it less than ten pages before realizing that I’d rather take a nap, therefore I never even bothered with the television show.

 

 

 

Gossip Girl

Nah…cause I’m a dude.

 

 

Ghost Adventures

I just can’t get into anything ghost related. I don’t find it compelling entertainment.

 

 

Grey’s Anatomy

I actually did watch the first season…maybe two…of Grey’s Anatomy. It was good…and I’m sure it still is 15 years later. But I drifted away early on and just never got back into it.

 

 

Gilmore Girls

Nah…I don’t think I was the target demo for that show.

 

 

Glee

No, because I have taste. I always imagined Glee as kind of the love child of Cop Rock & Beverly Hills 90210.

 

 

Hart of Dixie

Never heard of it.

 

 

Hawaii Five-0

I assume we are talking about the reboot that premiered in 2010 and not the original that aired in the 1970’s. In that case, yes I watched the first season of the new show, but after that lost interest and have no idea what’s been happening the past 8 or 9 years.

 

 

 

House of Cards

Surprisingly enough, no…I’ve never seen a single episode. I don’t care what the PC Police say…Kevin Spacey is freakin’ brilliant, so I’m not sure why I never bothered with this particular show.

 

 

House

Nope. I’ve been told that I’d enjoy it. I’m not sure if that’s because the main character is loosely based on Sherlock Holmes (who I adore), or because he is a grumpy old curmudgeon (which I am too), but for some reason the show was recommended to me more than once. Unfortunately, my aversion to medical dramas is like a shield on a starship that’s only down every once in a great while.

 

 

How I Met Your Mother

Oh boy…where do I begin?? I LOVED HIMYM. It was right up there on par with Friends. I love a good mystery so I was highly invested, especially in the last few seasons. But then came one of the worst final episodes in television history. After finally meeting The Mother (portrayed by the enchanting Cristin Milioti) toward the end of the series we are given a quick fast forward with the highlights of Ted & Tracy’s relationship, ultimately finding out that in the “present” day of 2030 (when the framing device is set) The Mother is dead and Ted is ready to revisit his long dormant relationship with former flame Robin. Oh yes…Robin. HIMYM spent the last few seasons building up an unlikely romance & eventual marriage between Robin and lecherous Barney Stinson, only to throw it all away in a “blink & you’ll miss it” hot second in the finale. All the character growth that we experienced with Barney is flippantly discarded when Barney & Robin divorce and he embarks on a quest to sleep with 31 women in the space of a month, a plan that goes awry when the final conquest gets pregnant. Look, I’m a sucker for happy endings, but I also know that life doesn’t work like that. To some degree I almost understand what the show’s creators were going for. My father always says that death is part of life, so writing that aspect into the show would be understandable…except for the fact that HIMYM is a freakin’ half hour sitcom. We don’t need deep & meaningful. Just give us our damn happy ending…Ted & Tracy and Barney & Robin all live happily ever after. But nnnnooooooo…they couldn’t do that!! I swore in the immediate aftermath of the finale in 2014 that I would never watch a rerun of the show, and for six years I’ve kept that vow.

 

How to Get Away with Murder

Not the least bit interested.

 

I Zombie

Is that like an iPhone for dead people?? I don’t know.

 

 

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

I’ve read alot of comments about it thru the years, but have never given it a whirl. The cast looks top notch (I rather enjoy Danny DeVito’s work), but it’s just something I’ve never given a chance, probably to my detriment.

 

 

Law & Order SVU

Nope. I’ve never watched any of the Law & Order shows. I mean really…why the hell would I be entertained by a program with the word “victims” right in the title??

 

 

Lost Girl

I mean, I hope they find her…but no.

 

 

Making A Murderer

Our culture’s fascination with killing & death mystifies me.

 

 

Manifest

Isn’t that one of those Lost knockoffs that the network will lose patience with and cancel, leaving fans with no resolution?? No thanks. That’s one of the reasons I’m so hesitant to become invested in much on television nowadays.

 

 Mom

Sorry, but I just don’t understand how generational substance abuse can be sitcom fodder.

 

Nailed It

Is it one of those home improvement/renovation shows on HGTV?? I honestly don’t know.

 

NCIS / NCIS New Orleans / NCIS Los Angeles

Nope. Just like the Law & Order shows and the CSI shows the whole NCIS thing has never frosted my cupcake.

 

 

New Girl

I’d love to meet a new gal. Hell, I’d like to meet any gal (within acceptable parameters). But in real life…not on television.

 

Once Upon a Time

In a land far, far away…

I have no idea.

 

One Tree Hill

I was really into One Tree Hill for 2 or 3 seasons. It reminded me of Dawson’s Creek, which is meant as a compliment. Unfortunately, TV shows about high school students tend to grow stale when the characters graduate, and I have no idea what went on with the show in its last half dozen years.

 

 

Orange is the New Black

Women in prison. No thanks. And please don’t take that as a sexist remark. I have no interest in any kind of show centered around prison.

 

Ozark

Never heard of it.

 

Parenthood

In 1988 there was a film called Parenthood with an all-star cast…Steve Martin, Mary Steenburgen, Jason Robards, Keanu Reeves, Rick Moranis, & a very young Joaquin Phoenix, all directed by Ron Howard. It was a good flick that garnered two Academy Award nominations: Best Song (Randy Newman) and Best Supporting Actress (Dianne Wiest). In 1990 Parenthood was adapted for television with the same characters but a whole new cast, including David Arquette, Ed Begley Jr., Thora Birch, & a young Leonardo DiCaprio (portraying the character played by Phoenix in the film). That show only lasted for one season, which is a shame because it wasn’t bad. Then in 2010 NBC decided to revive the general concept of Parenthood, albeit with a whole new set of characters and a more 21st century angsty kind of vibe. I really liked the original film, and enjoyed the first TV show, but by the time the second show came about I was almost 40 years old and not all that entertained by angst anymore. I have enough anxiety & torment in my real life…I’m not amused by it in movies or on television. The cast (Craig T. Nelson, Bonnie Bedelia, Monica Potter, Peter Krause, Lauren Graham) was terrific, and I did watch a few episodes in the course of six seasons, but it was never something I was going to invest in completely.

 

Pretty Little Liars

I don’t think I’m the target demo, and that’s fine with me.

 

Reign

I have no clue. I’m guessing there are dragons, swords, & kings battling over…whatever it is that they battle over. Those kinds of stories can make interesting books, but they don’t seem to translate well to television.

 

Riverdale

On the surface a live action, soapy reimagining of the comics starring Archie, Veronica, Jughead, & Betty sounds intriguing, and perhaps if I’d known about it before its launch a few years ago I may have checked it out. Alas, I had no idea it existed for two years because it’s on The CW, and let’s be honest…most of us forget The CW exists because they do a terrible job of promoting their network and its TV shows. So now we are four seasons in and the ship has likely sailed.

 

Roseanne / The Conners

I didn’t care for the original incarnation of Roseanne back in the 90’s, and a couldn’t possibly care less about the reboot that launched a couple of years ago, despite the titular star bucking the Hollywood lockstep and “coming out” as a Trump supporter. I wasn’t going to get sucked into that tug-of-war. Like everyone else I had my opinions when Roseanne Barr was fired from her own show for a completely innocuous tweet, and that debacle just reinforced my lack of interest in the whole thing.

 

 

Santa Clarita Diet

I’ve battled weight issues my entire life, to the point that I’ve kind of given up. Diets just don’t seem to work for me. I’m almost certain that the show has zero to do with food or weight loss, but I have absolutely no desire to research what it is about, what channel it’s on, or who it stars.

Scandal

If I was going to get into a political soap opera I probably would have chosen House of Cards, but I chose neither. I think the truth is that The West Wing spoiled all political dramas for me because nothing can ever live up to that level of greatness.

 

Secret Life of the American Teenager

Okay…confession time. I actually watched this show for a bit during its first season in 2008. It’s from the same folks who’d created 7th Heaven, a show that I loved in the late 90’s thru its decade long run that ended shortly before Secret Life premiered. The two programs shared a similar vibe, and I was drawn in by the cast, which included 80’s Brat Pack queen Molly Ringwald (as a Mom!!). But I quickly lost interest somewhere in the midst of the second season.

 

Shameless

That was a really underrated song released by Billy Joel in the late 80’s, with a popular cover performed by Garth Brooks a few years later. Oh…it’s a television show too?? I had no idea.

 

 

Sons of Anarchy

That’d be an excellent name for a wrestling tag team. As far as the television show goes, I’ve never seen it and have no plans for that to change.

 

Stranger Things

I’ve heard good things. I had every intention of checking it out. But now, with the show preparing to release its fourth season, I am 24 hour long episodes behind and that just seems like too big of a mountain to climb at this point. Never say never though…maybe I’ll get into it long after it’s over, which isn’t my normal modus operandi.

 

Station 19

I have no idea.

 

South Park

I gave South Park a whirl back in the day, believing it to be a worthy heir to the throne abdicated by Beavis & Butt-Head. I suppose my entertainment palate matured just a bit in those years, so I quickly lost interest.

 

Supernatural

I used to believe I was a sci-fi fan, but I’ve come to realize that I am very selective about the kind of sci-fi in which I invest my time, and Supernatural just didn’t make the cut.

 

Teen Mom

Call me old-fashioned, but I just don’t believe that teenage pregnancy is appropriate fodder for reality television. I am not a fan of reality TV in the first place, and shows like this are among the worst offenders. I don’t understand people who are entertained by the very real & difficult circumstances of others.

 

The 100

100 what?? I need more information.

 

The Tudors

The only Tudors I care about is Tudor’s Biscuit World, home of The Thundering Herd, a delicious breakfast biscuit with scrambled egg, cheese, sausage, & a hash brown.

 

 

The Big Bang Theory

Yes, yes, yes!! I LOVED The Big Bang Theory. I faithfully watched new episodes for a dozen seasons on CBS, and for the past several years reruns on TBS a few nights a week for 2 or 3 hours at a time helped fill some lonely nights for me. I was sad when CBS cancelled the show, but if I’m being honest the quality of the writing had dipped noticeably in the final few seasons. The finale was well done, and surprisingly I haven’t been all that interested in the TBS reruns since last spring.

 

The Fosters

Is it on Freeform?? I believe it’s on Freeform, and for me Freeform is a place to watch old movies, especially during the Christmas season. It is not a channel I click on for original programming.

 

The Good Doctor

Okay…so he’s a doctor, but he’s autistic. That’s nice. But it’s yet another medical drama, and I just can’t do it. I nearly gave it a shot only because of the presence of Richard Schiff in the cast. Back in the day Schiff brilliantly portrayed Toby Ziegler on The West Wing, and I loved that show. But at the end of the day I decided to leave the memories alone and pass on The Good Doctor.

 

 

The Handmaid’s Tale

I know very little about the show, but from what I’ve been able to glean it seems like kind of a downer, the kind of thing that critics fawn all over and awards shows shower with praise, but regular folks in flyover country just don’t see the big deal.

 

The Last Kingdom

I have no idea.

 

The Office

I’m way late to the party on this one. First, I have to explain something. I grew up in the 70’s & 80’s, a high water era for multi-camera sitcoms, which is the more traditional format. In the past decade we’ve seen the rise of single camera sitcoms, meaning there is no live audience or laugh track. Since I came of age with multi-cams as the norm that’s what I’m used to. I need a live audience and/or a laugh track. I have had a difficult time adjusting to single camera sitcoms and oftentimes reject such programs right out of the box. Perhaps I need to be a bit more flexible, but I’m just being honest about my experience up until now. It is for these reasons that I never even gave The Office a second thought when it premiered in 2005. I adore the 1999 cult film Office Space, so The Office would seem to be right in my wheelhouse, but I never gave it a chance. However, a few things happened in the ensuing years. Steve Carell became a movie star in films that I rather enjoy. Other stars of The Office went on to have solid careers in movies & television…folks like Jenna Fischer, Ed Helms, & John Krasinski. Internet memes became a thing, many of them featuring characters from The Office. Friends & family began making references related to the show. And now…finally…nearly seven years after it ended its run on NBC, I have begun watching reruns on Netflix.

 

The Originals

Original what?? I don’t know, and it shall remain a mystery.

 

The Simpsons

I may have missed the boat on The Simpsons. I was 17 years old & in my senior year of high school when it premiered in 1989. Perhaps I thought I was too cool for an animated show. Maybe there was something else in that time slot that I preferred to watch (this was way before DVR). I don’t recall exactly why I never got into The Simpsons, but at some point, as I heard more & more about its sardonic humor and funny characters, I began to realize that maybe I’d misjudged it. However, by that time it was way too late. I’m the kind of person who is either all in from the very beginning or not in at all. I may lose interest in a show a few years into its run, but rarely do I begin watching something that I’ve already missed multiple seasons of. I also don’t think that anyone would have ever predicted that The Simpsons would still be going three decades later, which is another reason why I feel like I may have missed out on something I might have liked.

 

 

The Sinner

I am assuming it’s either preachy or dark or both. Either way I’m not interested.

 

The Vampire Diaries

Vampires?? Nope.

 

The Walking Dead

Zombies?? No thanks. I realize that a lot of folks are really into it, but I’m not nor ever will be one of them.

 

The Witcher

Never heard of it.

 

This Is Us

Once upon a time I adored This Is Us. For the first two seasons I was glued to my television every Tuesday night. The mystery of when & how Jack Pearson died was riveting. The show was well-written with a top notch cast. I’ve had a Mandy Moore fetish for many years. Back in the day my friend Stacy would call me whenever A Walk to Remember was on television and I was usually already watching it. At any rate, something happened in the fall of 2018. This Is Us began a story arc about Jack’s tour of duty in Vietnam, and I decided to change the channel to WWE Smackdown. I DVRed This Is Us and told myself I’d catch up eventually, but before long I had about a dozen episodes recorded and knew I wasn’t going to invest that much time in getting up to speed, so I just decided I was no longer interested in the show. Perhaps someday I’ll revisit it.

 

True Blood

Vampires?? No.

 

True Detective

Nah. I’ve got a few friends who are really into this new wave of true crime, but it’s never interested me.

 

Twilight Zone

The original was way before my time. There have been a few revivals I believe, but I’ve just never been into giving any of them a whirl.

 

 

Two Broke Girls

I tried. I wanted to like it, but the humor was just so crude & sophomoric and the characters poorly constructed. I’m stunned that the show lasted six seasons.

 

Vikings

You mean the Minnesota Vikings?? Those are the only Vikings with which I am familiar.

 

The Ranch

The only reason I’ve even heard of it is because it stars Ashton Kutcher. However, I have no clue what the show is about, when it airs, or on what channel I could find it. And I couldn’t possibly care less.

  

Flip or Flop

I actually enjoy the occasional home renovation program, usually on HGTV (I especially like The Property Brothers). However, I don’t think I’ve ever watched Flip or Flop. I believe it’s the one where the hosts were married and now they are divorced, which seems like way too much drama for a fix-up show.

 

The Rookie

It’s a cop show, right?? Nah, not my thing.

 

 

Deputy

I’ve seen ads for it, but have no interest.

The 2016 Sammy Awards – Part 2

SammyAwardeagleBefore we get too far into the new year we like to take a look back at all the highs & lows of the previous year. Welcome back to the show, and if you haven’t checked out Part 1 please do so. Really, it’s okay…we’ll wait.

 

 

 

After another amusing anecdote from our host Steve Harvey it is time to present our next award. He’s been waiting patiently billy_bushon a bus outside…alone & without a live microphone. Please welcome the former host of Access Hollywood, a refugee from NBC’s Today Show, & the nephew of former President George H.W. Bush. Give a warm welcome to Billy Bush!! And the nominees are:

 

 

 

The Twitter Award for Most Interesting Water Cooler Topic

 

The Walking Dead

Am I the only person in America that has never seen one single second of this show?? More importantly, is it weird that I couldn’t possibly care less??

 

 

Transgender Politics

In 21st Century America we don’t even know the difference between a male & female. It’s all about how a person “feels”. I think every science teacher I ever had would likely disagree. I don’t follow the crowd. I know what I know and facts are facts. If you disagree that’s alright, but just know that you’re part of the problem.

 

 

PokeMon Go

Back in the summer of 2016 this was a big thing for about five minutes. I’m not sure how it works, but I guess people download something on their phones and then seek out imaginary ghosts or something. Are their points?? Does anyone eventually win or lose the game?? I don’t know. I’m old & lazy. This game sounds like too much work with not enough reward.

 

 

The $20 Bill

Since 1928 the $20 bill has featured the face of Andrew Jackson, who was the 7th President of the United States. But a movement arose to change that for some unknown reason. Folks decided to find a woman’s face…any woman…to put on the bill. I don’t know…equality, inclusiveness, fairness…some politically correct crap like that is to blame. Names that were suggested included Eleanor Roosevelt & Rosa Parks, but a poll that I never even knew existed was apparently voted on by over a half million people and won by Civil War heroine Harriet Tubman. Those new $20 bills will go into circulation in a few years.

 

 

#BlackLivesMatter

I suppose I should tread rather carefully thru this minefield. Suffice to say that I believe it is pathetic that we are still dealing with racism in 21st Century America. However, I think it is worth debating what the bigger issue may be. Is it the fact that racism does undeniably exist?? Or is the idea that, despite tremendous strides in race relations that have seen minorities gain the legal equality that they were denied up until a few decades ago, a portion of the population…both black & white…persists in painting minorities as perpetual victims?? What I find especially disturbing is that this hornet’s nest really got stirred up AFTER the United States took a groundbreaking step by electing our first black President. Whether or not one agrees with President Obama politically the fact is that his election eight years ago was an historic moment that should have cemented the idea of racial equality & harmony, yet things have only gotten worse. I also think it is sad that the law enforcement community has been demonized in the process. I am sure that bad cops have always existed. They always will because there are evil forces in all walks of life. But the Black Lives Matter movement has been all too successful in painting the entire profession in a bad light. I am a proponent of the idea that all lives matter, but some even deem that idea racist. It’s a no-win situation for everybody.

 

 

Harambe

Back in May 2016 a three year old boy climbed into the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo. Patrons looked on in horror as a gorilla named Harambe grabbed the child and dragged him away. Some believe that the animal was trying to be protective of the boy, but obviously gorillas & humans tend to think differently about such things. Zoo employees saw no other solution than to shoot & kill Harambe. Video of the situation quickly went viral, and of course everybody just had to chime in with an opinion. While it is sad that the gorilla had to lose his life, the more important thing is that the young boy was unharmed.

 

 

No Nudity in Playboy

After a half century as America’s preeminent “gentlemen’s magazine” Playboy decided to no longer show full frontal nudity in its photographs in 2016. I am surprised they still publish magazines at all. Any magazine, let alone a nudie magazine. I haven’t picked up a Playboy in atleast 25 years. If a guy needs that kind of…entertainment…I think The Internet & video streaming is probably a more popular choice these days.

 

 

Gun Control

Another year, more mass shootings. Five police officers shot in Dallas in July. Six people killed in random shootings on a single February night in Kalamazoo, MI. 49 people killed & 53 others injured by a gunman at a nightclub in Orlando, FL in June. There are other examples I could cite. No one is arguing that these events aren’t tragic. Everyone would love for it to never happen again. The disagreement comes when discussing possible solutions. Gun control advocates would like to see guns banned and the Constitution’s 2nd Amendment altered or abolished. Many others understand that more laws and/or prohibiting responsible gun ownership will not solve the problem. It’s a debate that has been raging my entire adult life and probably won’t go away anytime soon. Sadly there will be more shootings. We have issues in our nation that run deep and cannot be solved easily. I don’t know the right answer.

 

 

Hamilton

I live in West Virginia. Culture here is severely lacking. I’d like to think that if I lived in New York City I’d enjoy the occasional theater production. In 2016 Hamilton was apparently THE hottest ticket on Broadway. If my information is correct it is a musical about the life of Alexander Hamilton, one of America’s Founding Fathers and the first Treasury Secretary who infamously died in a duel at the hands of our third Vice President Aaron Burr. Because we are absolutely obsessed with political correctness in 21st Century America the entire cast of Hamilton…who are portraying historically real people that were white…is black & Hispanic. I am sure this “inclusiveness” is a major reason that the show has received so much praise, although I suppose it is entirely possible that it is legitimately a well-written play with fantastic acting & singing. It received an added level of notoriety a couple of months ago when Vice President-elect Mike Pence attended a performance and one of the actors thought it was proper to address him from the stage, noting how “alarmed & anxious” he & his castmates are about the incoming Trump Administration. Newsflash: it was grossly inappropriate.

 

 

Scary Clowns

In the fall of 2016 various sightings of creepy clowns became a nationwide story. Some of these clowns just stood around looking scary. A few actually attacked people. I have no idea what the heck the deal is with all of it. Don’t we have enough problems to deal with??

 

 

Mannequin Challenge

This is one of the dumbest things I’ve seen in recent memory. It’s not even worthy of my time & energy. Atleast there was a point to the Ice Bucket Challenge.

 

 

Brangelina Break-Up

Angelina Jolie has never frosted my cupcake. She’s not been in a single movie that I enjoyed, and I don’t find her particularly attractive. Brad Pitt has actually been in a few films I like. The two infamously got together back in 2005 when he cheated on wife Jennifer Aniston with Jolie. I was a big fan of Friends. Aniston was one of my favorite celebrity crushes. This made me dislike Brangelina tremendously. In 2014, after eight years of living in sin and adopting a couple dozen babies from Third World countries, the couple finally got married. Then, just two years later, they announced their divorce. Somehow I have found the strength to go on.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

 

PokeMon Go. I still don’t really get it, but atleast it was harmless fun for a lot of people, and honestly, we could all probably use more harmless fun.pokemon-gs7edge-1

 

 

 

 

To present our next award please welcome the man who dealt a fatal blow to late night television with his 2015 retirement. He’s a living legend who hosted NBC’s Late Night and CBS’s Late Show for over three decades. We’re not sure what he’s been up to for the past year & a half but we are happy to have him at the Sammy Awards. Please give a well-earned ovation to David Letterman!! And the nominees are:

 

 

 

Favorite Television Event

 

The People vs. O.J. Simpson

I lived thru the infamous O.J. Simpson murder trial back in the mid-90’s. I’m actually very surprised that it took two decades for it to be made into a movie…or in this case a mini-series. I had really low expectations and assumed it would be…at best…kind of tacky. However, I was pleasantly surprised at the quality of acting & writing. In fact, the show received 22 Emmy nominations and won 9 trophies. Cuba Gooding Jr. hasn’t been this good since winning an Oscar for Jerry Maguire in 1996, and both Sterling K. Brown & Courtney B. Vance were tremendous. John Travolta…well hey, we’ll always have Grease & Saturday Night Fever, right??

 

 

11.22.63

I’m not really a big Stephen King aficionado, but about five years ago he wrote a novel about a guy who goes back in time to stop the Kennedy assassination. Time travel?? JFK’s assassination? Yes please. I gave the book a whirl and was so glad that I did. Just an awesome read. I knew that it’d eventually be put on film, but even I am aware that King’s works are notoriously difficult to translate into movies and the results have been mixed over the years. After a big screen adaptation was scrapped eventually the decision was made to make a miniseries for Hulu, which was a good call. More questionable was casting James Franco in the lead role. Is it a good show?? Yes. Could it have been better?? Yes. I’d recommend it, but I’d also suggest not skipping the novel.

 

 

Stranger Things

I include this only as a courtesy. I have not watched it yet, though I intend to. Friends have told me they think I’d enjoy it. Netflix has already greenlit a second season so I suppose I better catch up ASAP.

 

 

Fuller House

The original Full House was cheesy fun back in the 90’s. I wasn’t the target demo then, and I am certainly not the viewer this follow up is seeking, but I’m a little bit of a rebel like that. Season 1 premiered on Netflix back in February before I began my new job, and I binged it all in one day. Season 2 became available not long before Christmas and it took me a few days to finish. Fuller House isn’t going to win any awards and critics haven’t been kind, but Netflix has already ordered a third season so I guess enough people are watching. Nostalgia can carry something further than one would think, and older fans of the original show seemingly enjoy its “sequel”.

 

 

ABC Fun & Games

When I was a kid my Grandma Pigott loved game shows. She’d watch them all morning long, and then watch the ones that were on in the evening. Sadly game shows have become passé in the ensuing decades, with the exception of the continued success of Jeopardy! & Wheel of Fortune. Occasionally something will pop up for a brief moment in the spotlight, like Who Wants to Be a Millionaire hosted by Regis Philbin back about 15 years ago. In 2016 ABC decided to revive a few old favorites. Family Feud, hosted by our very own Sammy Awards emcee Steve Harvey, has been successful in syndication for about six years. A celebrity version aired this summer for six weeks in prime time. Also part of the fun was a reboot of Match Game, hosted by Alec Baldwin, who is detestable in real life but admittedly very funny when he’s acting. The weakest link in the chain is a revival of The 100,000 Pyramid, which was originally hosted by the late great Dick Clark back in the day and is now helmed by former football player Michael Strahan. All three of these shows are mindless, kitschy fun, and that’s okay with me. Small doses…a month or two once or twice a year…is probably a smart way to go with the idea.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

 

Fuller House. I said it wasn’t going to win any awards. I was wrong. Look, I realize that it’s not everyone’s cup o’ tea. Many people seek edgier or more intellectually fuller-house2stimulating entertainment, and that’s fine. Sometimes I crave something provocative or profound as well. But I think there’s room for a wide spectrum of choices on which to spend our down time. Fuller House probably won’t make it past 3 or 4 seasons, but for a brief period of time we can atleast appreciate it for the amusing trip down memory lane that it is meant to be.

 

 

 

To present our next award we are happy to welcome to the stage one of the preeminent actors of his generation. He has starred in modern classics like The Shawshank Redemption, Deep Impact, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight Rises, Ted 2, & Last Vegas. Please give some love to Morgan Freeman!!

 

 

caliendo2My apologies. Mr. Freeman is unable to appear on the show tonight. Instead our next award will be presented by comedian Frank Caliendo…doing an impression of Morgan Freeman. And the nominees are:

 

 

 

The DB Cooper Award (For the Person Who Most Needs to Disappear)

 

Senator Joe Manchin

He’s the former Governor and a current United States Senator from my home state, but I’m never quite sure where he stands. Some have opined that he is a rather conservative Democrat, but he sure has seemed to kiss President Obama’s…ring…a lot the past several years. Then, this past summer, Senator Manchin made comments in a conversation about gun control whining about the Fifth Amendment right to due process being an inconvenient impediment. I’m never a fan of politicians complaining about our Constitution. The fact is that America’s Founding Fathers had more common sense & foresight in their pinkies than our entire legislative branch collectively shows in 21st Century America.

 

 

Jon Gruden

Wow, is this guy a clown. I’m not sure why football fans or the powers-that-be at ESPN think he’s entertaining. He makes John Madden seem like Albert Einstein. Please…for the love of God…will some football team out there offer the dude a coaching job and get him off my TV??

 

 

Taylor Swift

She’s still around, though I think her star is fading. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.

 

 

Barack & Michelle Obama

Theoretically this will happen with the transfer of power to a new President in a few weeks. However, I have a bad feeling that, unlike other former Presidents who fade into the background and enjoy their retirement, ol’ Barack Hussein & his wife Aunt Esther aren’t really going away. The media loves them and will undoubtedly seek them out at every opportunity to comment on whatever is going on. I have predicted for several years that Obama would someday be the Secretary General of the United Nations, so look for movement on that front in the coming years.

 

 

“Caitlynn” Jenner

Let’s make one thing perfectly clear…Bruce Jenner is a man. Always has been, always will be. “Caitlynn” is a fictional character, not unlike Mrs. Doubtfire, Madea, or Big Momma. Unfortunately, instead of getting Mr. Jenner the help he so desperately needs to treat his mental illness the media & Hollywood has spent the past few years enabling his delusion.

 

 

Stephen Colbert

After a decade hosting a program on Comedy Central that I watched maybe 2 or 3 times Colbert was the inexplicable choice to replace David Letterman on CBS’s Late Show in 2015. I gave the man a chance…I really did. I still flip on over to that channel every once in a great while. But Colbert is just too damn political for a late night network television show. I suppose if you agree with his hateful leftist ideology you might find the guy funny. To each their own. I simply can’t stand the man or his little show, and I think CBS will tire of his shtick soon enough.

 

 

Bill & Hillary Clinton

They’ve written the blueprint for the Obamas. A decade & a half after Slick Willie left the White House these idiots are still around casting a dark shadow on America. Hillary even served in the U.S. Senate & as Secretary of State. Then, as we all know, she ran for President a couple of times, failing miserably on both attempts. Think about it…a majority of Americans outside the Lands of Liberal Make Believe in New York City, Hollywood, & Chicago chose Donald Trump over Hillary Clinton. That’s rejection with a capital R. I’d like to think the latest humiliating defeat would persuade these two to retire from public life permanently, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she runs again in four years.

 

 

Megyn Kelly

I’m so over her. One would assume certain things about Ms. Kelly since she works for Fox News, but appearances can be deceiving. I’m pretty tired of most of the media, but she especially has tended to make it all about herself this past year. I just want my newscasters to read the news. I don’t need their perspective. I don’t need their personality. I just want honesty & facts. I’d be willing to bet that she will eventually defect to CNN or MSNBC for big money, and that’s well within her rights. Go for it. Pad that bank account. Fancy yourself a star. And while Megyn Kelly is living that dream those of us who want to know what’s really going on in the world will know where to look, which won’t be wherever she is.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

 

All of Them!! That’s right…it’s a mass tie. Just shut your pieholes. Go away. Get out. Good riddance. Don’t let the door hit you where the Good Lord split you.loser

 

 

 

 

 

rice2Presenting our next award are two of the smartest people in the world…individuals who aren’t usually thought of as tysonentertaining but, like the rest of us, like to let their hair down & relax every once in awhile. She is a former National Security Advisor and served as Secretary of State from 2005-2009. Please welcome Condoleeza Rice!! He is an astrophysicist & author and is the current Director of the Hayden Planetarium in New York City. Give a round of applause to Neil deGrasse Tyson!! And the nominees are:

 

 

Most Entertaining Program (Radio or TV)

 

Mike & Mike in the Morning

Once again my morning routine changed a bit in 2016, so watching Greeny & Golic from 6-10am every weekday isn’t really a priority. I still catch the show occasionally and enjoy it almost as much as I ever did, but admittedly the shine has worn off just a little.

 

 

The Young & The Restless

I keep saying I am going to give up my soap operas, but for some reason I don’t follow thru. Even my Dad is hooked on Y&R, which is really amusing to me. The show went thru some behind-the-scenes changes in 2016, but the storylines remain strong & the characters are interesting for the most part.

 

 

MetroNews Hotline

From 3-6pm each weekday afternoon here in WV we have the opportunity to listen to a statewide radio talk show that covers everything from current events & sports to pop culture & the financial markets. It’s comfort food radio, which in my book is a great thing. The program’s original host stepped down a few months ago and I haven’t totally decided how I feel about the new guy, but if I happen to be in my truck when it is on I’ll usually listen. God knows it’s better than the garbage the music stations are playing.

 

 

Highly Questionable

ESPN finally settled on a time slot for this show in 2016, and if I’m home I’ll watch. If I’m not going to be home I’ll almost always DVR it. It’s irreverant, occasionally silly, sometimes informative, & always easily palatable. I’ve even become accustomed to co-host Bomani Jones, who I wasn’t quite sold on a year ago.

 

 

The Rush Limbaugh Show

El Rushbo is still going strong after nearly three decades on the radio. With 2016 being an election year Rush was in his element. I don’t listen often, but always enjoy it when I do. I understand that he doesn’t frost everyone’s cupcake, and that’s alright. I like the show and that’s what matters.

 

 

General Hospital

I’ve been watching GH since grade school. I always say I’m going to stop, but I don’t. There are certainly better things I could be spending time on, but I suppose there are worse things as well.

 

 

Designated Survivor

I never watched a single second of Kiefer Sutherland’s popular show 24, but as soon as I first saw teasers of this new program online several months ago I knew I had to check it out, and after the first episode I was hooked. I rarely even bother with new prime time shows, but this one is a winner. Thru the first half of the season they have constructed a web of suspense & intrigue that rivals any drama I’ve ever seen. It’s a well written show with great performances. I’m not sure if it’ll have legs for more than a couple of years, but I’d be happy to be wrong about that.

 

 

WWE Raw

Monday night is wrestling night. I don’t answer the phone. I don’t make other plans if possible. Maybe I’ll flip back & forth to the Monday night NFL game, but generally my eyes are glued to my wrasslin’ for a few hours. Or atleast that’s how it used to be. I have noticed in the past year I do a bit more channel surfing during Raw, or sometimes I’ll actually doze off. After the demise of WCW and with no viable competition remaining it seems like Vince McMahon has taken his foot off the gas just a bit. WWE has also made a concerted effort to become more family friendly in recent years, which is a blessing & a curse. Pro wrestling has always had its ebbs & tides, and right now seems to be a bit of a lull. Still though, there are weeks when it’s really fun to be a wrestling fan.

 

 

Jeopardy!

I love my game shows, and this is the best one around. It actually rewards people for being intelligent, and really, who could have an issue with that??

 

 

Pardon the Interruption

In contrast to its ESPN brethren Highly Questionable, PTI is proudly & audaciously cantankerous. Hosts Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon like to shout at each other for no apparent reason, but it kind of works. This is another show that I’ll usually record if I’m not going to be home. ESPN has perfected the argumentative sports talk show blueprint and probably ran it into the ground at this point, but after 15 years PTI is still at the top of the food chain with no signs of fading away anytime soon.

 

 

Days of Our Lives

Of the three soaps that I watch this is probably the weakest. There just seems to be something…subpar…about its production. Having said that, after over three decades of viewership the Horton, Brady, DiMera, & Kiriakis clans are fictional families that I have grown fond of, atleast as much as one can care about imaginary characters on TV.

 

 

This Is Us

2016 not only hooked me on one new show…it made me a fan of TWO. I decided to check out This Is Us because of actor Justin Hartley, who left his role on Y&R to star in the new NBC prime time drama. Hartley is a really good actor, and on This Is Us he is surrounded by a talented ensemble cast. The show has a really interesting hook, going back & forth between the current lives of three siblings and influential events in their childhood. Mandy Moore has always been a guilty pleasure (I love A Walk to Remember), and in this show she plays the same character in two eras separated by nearly forty years. The acting is stupendous and the writing is amazing. I expect this show to rack up the awards for however many years it lasts.

 

 

RedZone

There is nothing that I enjoy more than coming home from church on Sunday and settling in to watch seven straight hours of NFL football. No commercials, no timeouts, no halftimes…just football. Every meaningful moment of every game…atleast the ones played on Sunday afternoon. Someone needs to apply this same concept to college football on Saturdays.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

 

This Is Us & Designated Survivor. It’s a tie!! I wasn’t sure if the creative types in Hollywood were capable of creating new & interesting television shows anymore, dsurvthisisusbut they sure hit a two run homer with these. I can’t remember the last time I was actually excited about anything on TV outside of ball games. If you haven’t checked them out yet you’ve only missed one half of one season so it’d be really easy to catch up. Thank you to the creators of these two shows for making me believe in the power of originality again. Kudos.

 

 

 

 

Let’s pause one more time. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion!!

Points of Ponderation…Episode 7.16

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

 

 

 

 

I don’t know enough to offer a solid, knowledgeable opinion about Great Britain’s exit from the European Union. My vibe is that England was once one of the world’suk superpowers for centuries before the EU ever existed and it will be just fine going forward. Europe is a continent comprised of different countries. I’m not quite sure what the particular benefits or disadvantages are of membership in the collective. To my knowledge there isn’t any such joint association in South America or Asia. The nations of North America…The United States, Canada, & Mexico…certainly run their nations independently of one another. That’s not to say that there isn’t cooperation amongst different countries on various levels, but I don’t know what the benefit is of giving up some level of sovereignty to be part of a larger community. At face value this looks like a good move by Britain. I’m not an international affairs scholar though so I could be wrong.

 

 

head-scratcher

 

 

 

It always makes me uncomfortable when guys refer to females as thick and/or juicy. She’s a woman, not a steak.

 

 

 

 

 

flood1I live in the northcentral part of West Virginia and was unaffected by recent storms and flooding. However, just flood2a couple of hours down the road it’s a whole different story. There has been a ton of property damage…roads washed out, buildings destroyed, landscapes altered. Devastating loss of life…possibly into triple digits, including small children. Folks up this way are doing what we can…donating food & supplies and sending it down to the affected areas. In the midst of a bad day one certainly doesn’t have to look far to see those that are in much worse shape.

 

 

 

Stuff I don’t care about: Taylor Swift’s latest “relationship”, what happened on Game of Thrones or The Walking Dead, any “music” video by Kanye West, Shark Week, sleep2what some vacuous celebrity thinks about gun control, Johnny Football’s substance abuse issues, what any of the Kardashian/Jenners are up to, who will be the next sadomasochist to emasculate themselves daily alongside Kelly Ripa, The Olympics, The Bachelorette or any of the Real Housewives, whatever JK Rowling babbles about nowadays, Carpool Karaoke with James Corden, the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Even among trivialities I have standards.

 

 

 

facebook-147Consider this. From 2005-08 MySpace was the largest social media site on the interwebs. In 2006 it surpassed Google as the most visited website in America. By 2008 Facebook gained traction and left MySpace in the dust. Eight years later other sites…Instagram, Pinterest, Snapchat…have come along and carved out their niche, but Facebook & Twitter aren’t going anywhere. I have no profound insight to offer on the subject, I just think it is an interesting topic to ponder.

The 2014 Sammy Awards – Part II

SammyAwardWelcome to Part 2 of the 2014 Sammy Awards. Please take a moment to check out Part 1 if you have not already done so.

 

 

 

 

After another brief song & dance by our host Billy Crystal it is time to present our next award. Please welcome an old-fashioned yet still moderately amusing leno tuxcomedian that NBC helped make disappear almost a year ago. Give a warm welcome for the former host of The Tonight Show…Jay Leno!! And the nominees are:

 

 

The DB Cooper Award (For the Person Who Most Needs to Disappear)

 

 

Justin Bieber
I keep nominating him but he just won’t go away. But now not only is Bieber an affront to those with good taste in music, but he has evolved into a menace to society off stage as well. Last January he was arrested for a DUI because he was gooned on pot & pills. Last summer he was charged with vandalism after throwing eggs at a neighbor’s house (what is this guy…8 years old??). Then in September Bieber was arrested in Canada for reckless driving & assault. At this point even Lindsay Lohan is probably like “Dude…chill out. Lay off the booze & drugs. Act like an adult.”

 

 

Carter Bays & Craig Thomas
Bays & Thomas are the creators & executive producers of How I Met Your Mother, which was a pretty great show. Atleast it was good right up until these idiots ruined the ENTIRE series during one final episode. More on that later, but for now I’ll just say that karma is…not very nice. The duo created a spinoff show called How I Met Your Dad, which I had already decided I wouldn’t bother with since I was so disappointed with the HIMYM finale. However, it seems as if the show isn’t going to make it on the air at all. You reap what you sow…morons.

 

 

Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
This “lady” is the chairperson of the Democratic National Committee and…frighteningly enough…a U.S. Congresswoman. The problem is that she is an idiot. I will not rehash her stupidity because I realize that a majority of The Manoverse doesn’t care. Suffice to say that almost every time Ms. Schultz (I don’t do obnoxious hyphenated surnames) appears on TV she embarrasses herself, her constituency, & her party. Surely the Democrats can do better.

 

 

Mayor Rob Ford
It’s unfortunate that comedic actor Chris Farley died in 1997 because he would be the perfect choice to play Mayor Ford in an SNL skit or maybe even a parody film. Ford is the former mayor of Toronto (that’s in Canada for those who are spending their first day out of the holler at The Sammy Awards) and is an admitted crackhead & boozehound. Late night TV hosts have had a field day the past few years poking fun at Ford, who still retains a seat on Toronto’s city council. The jokes are funny, but it is kind of sad that such a lost soul can be elected to political office in the 21st century.

 

 

The Duggar Family
We were first introduced to the Duggar family back in 2008 as a part of some stupid reality show. I’ve never watched it, but apparently the hook is that these people have 19 kids. I don’t even want to know why anyone would subject themselves to that kind of insanity. Anyway, I guess a few of the kids have grown up now and are dating and even married. Again…I don’t care, but I suppose someone out there does because we hear about it every time someone in this family makes a move, no matter how insignificant it may be (hint…it’s always insignificant). I am tired of hearing about what they watch or don’t watch on TV, what kind of clothes they will or won’t wear, & all about their sexual morality. Look, I am glad that they are servants of the Lord. Their beliefs are just dandy, but the world doesn’t need to be informed about everything that’s going on in their lives. I despise reality television and am a little suspicious of anyone who would sign up for that kind of gig. In light of their stated religious faith it seems a bit duplicitous.

 

 

Selena Gomez
Is she still dating Bieber?? Who knows & who cares. Anyone with that kind of poor taste in men needs help. Plus she isn’t all that talented at singing or acting. But hey…atleast she is hot, which is something I guess.

 

 

Melissa Harris-Perry
What is it with raging liberals and hyphenated last names?? I suppose it’s a feminazi thing. At any rate, this “journalist” is employed by MSNBC, which tells you all you need to know. I run across a story online atleast a couple of times per week in regards to the latest asinine thing she has said. It seems like MSNBC goes out of their way to hire folks like this who can’t simply report the news with some degree of intelligence. Look at your horrific ratings MSNBC…the proof is in the pudding. No one is buying what you’re selling, and providing a forum for laughably vapid mental midgets like Melissa Harris-Perry to spew her silliness has made you the laughingstock of TV news.

 

 

Jesse Ventura
I always liked Jesse “The Body” Ventura. He was a pro wrestler when I was a kid and then became a rather good wrestling announcer. He even acted a bit. When he ran for Governor of Minnesota in 1998 and won I thought it was pretty cool. But then Ventura left the reservation. He became a talk show host & conspiracy theorist, as well as…much to my surprise…a whackjob liberal. A couple of years ago Ventura sued noted sniper & American hero Chris Kyle for a story Kyle wrote about Ventura in his autobiography. Then in 2013 Kyle was murdered. The honorable thing to do would have been to drop the lawsuit, but Ventura persisted and won the suit in 2014. So now he is seeking to extract nearly $2 million from Kyle’s widow. I don’t know whether the incident occurred or not. All I know is that after Chris Kyle’s tragic death the matter should have been dropped. The financial situations of those involved is unknown to me, but I suspect that Ms. Kyle and her children need that money much more than Ventura. Gov. Ventura is a classic bully & narcissist, and I have lost all respect I ever had for him.

 

 

Gwyneth Paltrow
I was never a huge fan, but I never really minded Paltrow, especially in decent flicks like Seven, Shakespeare in Love, Shallow Hal, & Iron Man. But it is with a heart full of sadness that I have decided to consciously unfan Gwyneth because she is an out-of-touch twit who equates her tough life as a spoiled actress with things that soldiers face during war and believes that President Obama should be given as much power as he wants to do whatever he pleases. I guess they don’t teach kids about The Constitution in Hollywood.

 

 

Rep. John Boehner & Sen. Mitch McConnell
The Republicans may have taken solid control of both houses of Congress after the November elections, but it will be meaningless as long as these two sellouts remain in power. Boehner, the presumed new Speaker of the House, and McConnell, the apparent incoming Senate Majority Leader, don’t have the cahonas to stand up to President Obama and he knows it. The results of the election were a clear mandate by the American people to stop the Obama agenda, but Boehner & McConnell are more concerned with compromising, reaching across the aisle, and protecting their own careers. We’ll see how that works out for them the next time they are up for re-election.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 
Bieber. I am tired of hearing about him. I am tired of having to nominate him for this award year after year. Hey…The Hohan had a quiet enough 2014 that we didn’t biebernominate her this time…maybe Bieber can stay out of the spotlight in 2015.

 

 
To present our next honor The Sammy Awards is pleased to bring back a young man that hosted the show just last year. He is an award winning singer and a timberlakemarginally talented actor. Please welcome back Justin Timberlake!! And the nominees are:

 

 

 

Favorite Radio Show

 

 

 

The Rush Limbaugh Show
I’ve been a Dittohead for over two decades. I agree with most of what Rush says and oftentimes laugh at those who criticize him because they are usually either outright lying or just don’t get Rush’s unique brand of humor and how he intentionally goads the liberal media. Having said all that, I have listened to Rush far less in the past couple of years than I once did. I just get too worked up about what President Hussein Obama has done to our country and I choose to avoid the strife as much as possible. I still tune in occasionally, but I don’t ever see myself getting back into being a hardcore daily listener again.

 

 

Intelligence For Your Life w/John Tesh
Most remember Tesh as the co-host of Entertainment Tonight from 1986-96. However now he hosts a syndicated radio program where he imparts bits of helpful wisdom to parents, spouses, employees, pet owners, students, and those looking to improve their health. Most of the factoids mentioned are from studies, polls, articles, & interviews that Tesh’s researchers track down. He is kind of like a DJ in that he only speaks briefly between songs. I listen to the show on my way to church on Sunday mornings but I believe it airs a few times during the week.

 

 

Soap Box w/ Lilly & Martha
My sister & I had a babysitter when we were kids that got us hooked on soap operas. 35 years later I still watch Days of Our Lives, General Hospital, & The Young and the Restless. Last summer I discovered an online network called TRadioV. All the shows are radio shows that also air on “online” TV. There are several programs on TRadioV, but I instantly became a fan of Soapbox, which is basically two former soap stars talking about soap related news and interviewing various soap opera actors. Unfortunately they haven’t aired a new show since October so I don’t know what’s up with that.

 

 

Metronews Hotline w/Dave Weekley
This is a statewide show here in West Virginia. Weekley has been a news personality at various places in the state for about 30 years. I remember him as a sports anchor at one of the local stations when I was a kid. A couple of years ago he got the dream job that I never knew I always wanted. Hotline airs from 3-6pm each weekday and is the kind of eclectic show that appeals to a wide audience. It covers news, sports, pop culture, finance, and anything else that Dave deems appropriate. He even has a segment called Beer Friday in which he interviews an enthusiast on the subject each week. My favorite daily segment is called In or Out in which Dave, a news reporter, & the show’s producer Coop give a thumbs up or down to various things.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

 

Hotline. Like I said, I realize when I am listening that it is exactly the kind of thing that, had I been exposed to it as a youngster, I might have said “That seems cool. That’s the kind of job I want.” The show is laid back, as opposed to more sociopolitical programs, and I love the fact that it has such an assortment of subject matter. When it first aired it replaced Sean Hannity on my local radio station and I was rather upset, but hindsight is 20/20 and I am so glad the change occurred. I’m not nearly as into politics as I was a couple of years ago, and I’d much rather listen to an easygoing discussion of sports, pop culture, & a little bit of news. I don’t listen every day and certainly not for the whole three hours, but the little snippets I catch here & there are a pleasant diversion and absolutely better than most of the “music” on the radio.

 

 

 

To present our next award please welcome actor, writer, producer, and one of the most popular stand-up comedians in the world. Give it up for Louis CK!! And thelouisck nominees are:

 

 

 

The Twitter Award for Most Interesting Water Cooler Topic

 

 

 

Minimum Wage
The first minimum wage in the United States was passed into law in 1938 and was 25 cents/hr. There have been incremental increases over time and the federal minimum wage is currently $7.25/hr. Of course the problem is that costs oftentimes rise faster than wages. A gallon of milk in 1938 cost 50 cents/gallon and movie tickets were a quarter. In 2014 those two things cost an average of $3/gallon and $8.50 respectively. Anyway, the minimum wage was a hot topic for debate in 2014. Various states and even some cities have passed their own minimum wage laws. Seattle, WA approved a plan to phase in what will eventually be a minimum wage of $15/hr. That sounds good, but we all know that bean counters & management types always figure out a way to tip the balance sheet in their favor. How many employees will lose their job?? How much will prices be raised for the consumer?? Technology allows some jobs to be done by machines now, so there will be employers that will explore such options rather than pay workers more money. It’s a slippery slope and an interesting discussion.

 

 

The Walking Dead, Sons of Anarchy, Orange is the New Black, Scandal, True Detective, Game of Thrones, Downton Abbey, American Horror Story, Veep, House of Cards, Revenge
These are all the TV shows that I constantly hear people raving about. I’ve never watched a single episode of any of them. Either I am missing out or I have better taste than the masses. I suppose I just march to the beat of a different drum machine.

 

 

Pot in Colorado & Washington
These two states passed laws in 2013 that legalized marijuana. Those laws went into effect in 2014, making those two states the butt of many comedians’ jokes. I have no idea how it’s going in those places because I live far far away. And I don’t smoke pot (anymore).

 

 

HIMYM Finale
How I Met Your Mother was a really enjoyable sitcom on CBS for 9 seasons. The framing device was a father (narrated by Bob Saget) telling his children (in the future of course) how he met their Mom way back in the day. Hardcore fans debated, deciphered, & dissected every episode in order to figure out which one of Ted’s various girlfriends would ultimately be The One and become The Mother. We finally met her near the end of season 8 (and she was enchanting) and waited anxiously for Ted to meet her in season 9, which he did. And then in a flash forward during the series finale the writers all-too-casually had The Mother die. It turns out that the whole framing device was just Ted trying to work up the courage to ask his teenage kids if they’d be offended if he got back together with his old girlfriend Robin. One of the biggest storylines during the last few seasons was the love story between Robin and notorious womanizer Barney, who eventually married only to all-to-casually get divorced in the finale, with Barney returning to his lecherous ways (and fathering a child with the 31st woman he’d slept with in a single month) and Robin eventually reuniting with widower Ted. The audience was split about 60/40, with the majority hating the last episode. The writers had planned the ending a decade earlier and stubbornly stuck with their plan instead of assessing how the show had evolved. It is one of the biggest blunders in television history and the reason why I will NEVER watch a HIMYM repeat.

 

 

Dying With Dignity
Typically nominees for this award lean toward more lighthearted & superficial subject matter, but in 2014 this was a thing. Why?? Well, back in the fall the world was introduced to 29 year old Brittany Maynard, an Oregon woman with a brain tumor who announced her intention to take a physician prescribed pill that would end her life before she began to suffer debilitating pain & anguish. Maynard became an advocate for “dying with dignity” and was regarded by many as a hero before indeed ending her life on November 1st. Of course the other side of the debate is that ending one’s own life under such circumstances is “playing God”. I can see both sides. My faith & beliefs tell me that it is wrong. However it is far too easy for others to criticize when most of us haven’t had to face such unique circumstances. I’ll just say this. Brittany Maynard made a choice. It isn’t up to me or anyone else to decide whether she was right or wrong. That is between her & The Lord. It is a free country and she did something that was legal where she resided. However, I think we need to be very cautious when referring to that choice as heroic or inspirational. She took the easy way out. I realize that sounds harsh but it isn’t meant to be. It’s human nature. Most folks spend their entire lives looking for the easiest possible way to get things done on a multitude of levels and that’s okay…it just isn’t brave or noble. What would you do in a similar situation?? What would I do?? To be honest I’m not sure I know that answer.

 

 

Kim Kardashian’s Ass
Speaking of superficial. Kardashian is well known for being a useless waste of oxygen. Anyone whose claim to fame is a sex tape and who then goes on to marry & generate offspring with a piece of garbage like Kanye West isn’t a person I’d want to know. Anyhow, I guess Kim was feeling a little ignored so she decided to grab the spotlight again the only way she knows how…by taking her clothes off. A few months ago a now infamous photograph was published in some snooty magazine (they still have those??) that featured KK’s much talked about backside. It was all oiled up and everything!! I’ll give that family credit for one thing…they know how to create publicity and keep that cash rolling in. All I know is that the generations of my grandparents & great-grandparents would be horrified by the type of inelegance that has made the entire Kardashian clan famous for no apparent reason.

 

 

ALS Ice Bucket Challenge
For about 6 weeks last summer one couldn’t peruse The Internet for longer than five minutes without seeing a video of someone accepting the Ice Bucket Challenge. The setup was simple…shoot a video of yourself having a frigid container of ice water poured over your head and then publically challenge a few friends to do the same. It was to raise awareness about amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, better known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, which by all accounts is a horrifying & debilitating disease that sometimes gets lost in the shuffle amid concerns about cancer, AIDS, whatever weird version of the flu is freaking everyone out at the moment, & a dozen other maladies. Those who did the “fun” part of the challenge were also supposed to send a donation to the ALS Association, which did see contributions of over $40 million in just a month compared to less than $20 million during the entirety of 2013. In other words it worked. Using social media to get people involved by doing something silly & pretty easy is pure genius. There were some folks that had an issue with the idea that people were having fun with the challenge and forgetting about the reason behind it, and I am sure there were many people who dumped water on their head but didn’t bother to write a check. However, the proof is in the pudding and the whole thing obviously worked…atleast in the short term.

 

 

Clooney & Pitt Marry
No…not to each other. The ladies’ favorite bachelor George Clooney married some Lebanese babe this past autumn, while Brad Pitt finally made an honest woman out of Angelina Jolie in August after they’d lived in sin for a decade and adopted an entire litter of those children that Sally Struthers used to cry about on television.

 

 

Late Night TV Changes
Citizens of The Manoverse know that their humble Potentate of Profundity loves late night talk shows. Unfortunately 2014 saw the landscape change dramatically and I am not sure it was for the better. Jimmy Fallon replaced Jay Leno on The Tonight Show, while SNL alum Seth Meyers took Fallon’s old 12:30am spot on Late Night. Sure Leno was kind of old-fashioned, but I still thought he was funny. The masses rave about Fallon, but I have been disappointed. I really enjoyed him on Late Night, but his version of Tonight seems narcissistic. I can’t imagine that many of the celebrities that come on the show are interested in playing some silly game when they are there to be interviewed about & promote their latest project. Not only did Fallon not tone down his act for the 11:30pm time slot…he’s actually become more hyper & turned the volume up to 11. Meanwhile Meyers is…okay. He’s more of a traditional late night host, but unfortunately that translates into him being kind of forgettable and only mildly amusing. Call me old school, but the more laid back show with customary interviews focusing on the guests should be at 11:30, while the wackier program that colors outside the lines should be on later. I also don’t care for Meyers’ sidekick…fellow SNL refugee Fred Armisen. I don’t get Fred’s shtick at all and don’t find him the least bit funny. I watched Meyers for the first couple of months he was on but got bored and decided to check out CBS’ Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. I had decided years ago that Ferguson wasn’t my cup of tea, but it turns out I was wrong. I am so mad at myself for not discovering his brilliance until less than a year before he too left his gig. Some British dude I have never heard of will take over the Late Late Show this spring, and since I learn from my mistakes I suppose I’ll give the new guy an chance. David Letterman is still around but he has already announced his impending retirement. Stephen Colbert is getting that gig, which doesn’t impress me since I have never really cared for Colbert. I think I see the day coming when I won’t have much of a reason to stay up past 11pm, which kind of makes me sad.

 

 

Bill Cosby
Who knew that lovable Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable…Fat Albert…the guy who made us all crave Jello Pudding Pops…was a total perv?? Well okay…nothing has been proven and it never will be because the things that allegedly occurred happened far enough in the past that statutes of limitations have all run out. However, I am one who believes that where there is smoke there is fire. We could shrug off one or two allegations, but in the latter few months of 2014 several women came forward and accused Cosby of drugging & raping them. So far Cosby has said very little. It is doubtful he ever will, although I have this terrible feeling that if he does decide to speak out Oprah will somehow be involved. At any rate, the damage is done. Bill Cosby’s reputation as a legendary comedian and America’s favorite TV Dad has been irrevocably damaged, which also makes me sad.

 

 

The Latte Salute
To say that I am not President Obama’s biggest fan would be a huge understatement. A few months ago he proved (for the thousandth time to those paying attention) what kind of man he is. Upon exiting Marine One after it had landed in New York the President saluted the serviceman standing beside the helicopter’s stair. However, the hand that he saluted with also held a cup of coffee (or possibly hot tea) and the Commander-in-Chief strutted by the young soldier as if he was gum under the Presidential shoes. The incident quickly went viral and reactions fell predictably among party lines. Conservatives saw it as additional confirmation of the person we believe Obama to be, while liberals were quick to draw (idiotic) comparisons between The Latte Salute and former President George W. Bush saluting a soldier with one hand while holding his dog in the other. In the grand scheme of life it doesn’t really matter, but the whole situation got some major play online and on TV for several days.

 

 

JK Rowling Pontificates
I, like millions of others, loved the Harry Potter books. I enjoyed the movies too…just not as much as the books. Fictional characters have a way of becoming living, breathing entities to fans, as if they really exist(ed). Santa Claus, Sherlock Holmes, Deputy Barney Fife, Huckleberry Finn, Batman, Mr. Spock…the world would be a better place if these were real people, but atleast we have the pleasure of enjoying their make-believe adventures. Harry Potter, along with his pals Hermione Granger & Ron Weasley, can be counted amongst these types of beloved characters. Universal Studios spent hundreds of millions of dollars to bring the world that author JK Rowling created to life in the form of a state-of-the-art theme park. Fans know the books and they know the movies. The problem is that Rowling won’t shut up and move forward. She continues to ponder what she should have done differently even though absolutely no one wants to hear it. Last February she caused an uproar amongst Potter fans by saying that Harry & Hermione should have ended up together instead of Hermione & Ron. That’s like saying that Darth Vader shouldn’t have been Luke Skywalker’s father or that Marty McFly should have never made it back to 1985. It’s heresy. Yes these are fictional characters…but they’re real to us dammit!! It isn’t the first time Rowling has added unnecessary context to something that wasn’t broken. Several years ago she tried to kiss the tushies of the PC crowd by saying that Professor Dumbledore was gay, even though neither the books nor movies come close to going there. So why say these things?? Please Ms. Rowling…just be quiet and let us enjoy this wonderful thing you produced that has been treasured by millions for many years.

 

 

Common Core
Common Core is an educational initiative that aims to define what exactly schoolchildren should know and when they should know it. Personally I thought we had all that ironed out decades ago, but apparently some bureaucrats got bored and decided to re-invent the wheel. The problem is that when government gets involved in things they tend to become completely screwed up. I don’t have any kids (that I know of) so I’m not exactly sure what all the issues are, but my perception is that Common Core has made both teaching & learning far more complex than necessary. Parents don’t like it, teachers don’t like it, students don’t like it. Some states have already opted out of it. It sounds like something that sounded good in theory but in practice doesn’t work as intended. I could be wrong. I don’t know.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

 
The Ice Bucket Challenge. It was fun. It was goofy. It gave people the opportunity to do two things they love…be on camera and challenge others. More ibcimportantly, it achieved its stated goals of raising money for & awareness about ALS. Many took the opportunity amid the irreverent silliness to talk about their personal experiences with the disease, and anyone who took the time to hear or read those stories couldn’t help but be touched. I don’t know what the future holds for the ALS Association. I suspect their fundraising won’t be quite as robust in 2015, which is unfortunate. Something like the Ice Bucket Challenge can’t really be effectively repeated although I am sure some will try. We’ll just have to hope & pray about the future, but we can atleast look back at those few weeks in the summer of 2014 and be happy that an impact was made.

 

 

 

 

This seems like the appropriate place to take another break. Please stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of the 2014 Sammy Awards!!