Welcome back to 80’s Movie Mania!! Unfortunately I’m still not getting the interactive response I’d hoped for, so I am forced to make decisions on the polls I posted for the first round of the Bodacious Division. To that end: Weekend at Bernie’s conquers Bachelor Party, Cocktail beats Stripes, and Iron Eagle defeats An Officer & A Gentleman. Now we move on to first round matchups in the Tubular Division. I am persistent so there will be more polls. Please vote. Enjoy!!
Tubular – Round 1
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure vs. History of the World Part I
This is a matchup for all you history buffs!! Bill and Ted are two California stoners destined to do great 
things in the future…if only they can pass their high school history exam. To help them in their 1989 epic adventure George Carlin travels back in time in a phone booth and introduces the two mindless teens to historical figures like Billy the Kid, Napoleon Bonaparte, Socrates, Sigmund Freud, Beethoven, & Abraham Lincoln. As you might imagine it’s a pretty funny trip thru the ol’ space-time continuum. A sequel came out a couple of years later but it lacks the magic of the original. The 1981 epic History of the World Part 1 is written, produced, & directed by the legendary Mel Brooks. It is comprised of short segments parodying events set in The Stone Age, The Old Testament Biblical era, The Roman Empire, The Spanish Inquisition, & The French Revolution and stars some pretty big names like Orson Welles (who narrates), Dom Deluise, Sid Caesar, Shecky Greene, Harvey Korman, Bea Arthur, Cloris Leachman, & Brooks himself. The humor is kind of old school vaudeville mixed with Americanized Python-esque zaniness…and it works.
The Verdict: Okay Manoverse…I’m giving you another shot here. Can we get atleast 10 votes on this one??
WarGames vs. The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
What would happen if a precocious teenage computer hacker inadvertently started World War III?? 
1983’s WarGames addresses that idea. It was the first starring role for both Matthew Broderick & Ally Sheedy and is a fun, entertaining, vaguely conceivable, well written thrill ride. 1982’s The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is based on a Tony Award winning Broadway musical and stars Dolly Parton as the madam of a brothel whose…activities…are largely ignored because the madam is in a relationship with the local sheriff, portrayed by Burt Reynolds (still one of the biggest actors in the world at the time). Things get riotously complicated when a Springer-esque talk show host portrayed by Dom Deluise decides to expose the “chicken ranch”.
The Verdict: WarGames. The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is an amusing yet forgettably frivolous comedy we recall only because of its above average cast. WarGames is really well done, taking a heavy subject and spinning it into enjoyable entertainment.
Scarface vs. License to Drive
Al Pacino is still one of the best actors in the world and has been for over four decades, with 1983’s 
Scarface being one of his most treasured films. Pacino stars as Cuban drug lord Tony Montana in a violent story about cocaine & organized crime that was written by the infamous Oliver Stone and helmed by heralded director Brian DePalma. License to Drive is a 1988 comedy starring The Coreys…Haim & Feldman…about a 16 year old kid who takes his grandfather’s vehicle out for some misadventures despite having failed his driving test. The cast also includes Carol Kane, Heather Graham, & One Day at a Time’s Richard Masur.
The Verdict: Scarface. It isn’t necessarily my cup of tea, but considering the competition this is a no brainer. Even The Coreys made better movies than License to Drive.
Three Amigos! vs. European Vacation
It’s Chevy Chase vs. Chevy Chase!! In 1986’s Three Amigos! Chase co-stars with Steve Martin & Martin 
Short as dimwitted silent film actors in the early 20th century who inadvertently become involved in a battle against a bandito who is terrorizing a small Mexican village. They think they have been recruited to simply put on a show, but the young senorita who has enlisted their help mistakenly believes they are genuine heroes that can save her neighborhood. Hilarity ensues. Three Amigos! has never won any awards, but it is a quirky showcase for the inimitable talents of a trio of comedy legends. European Vacation is a 1985 follow-up to the original Vacation wherein the wacky Griswold clan wins an all-expenses paid tour of Europe on a goofy game show. As usual things go horribly yet hilariously wrong for Clark, Ellen, Rusty, & Audrey. It isn’t as funny as the first film or 1989’s Christmas Vacation, but European Vacation has its charms and upon further review is better than the first impression it might have left back in the day.
The Verdict: This one is in your hands too Manoverse. I’m counting on you!!
Three Men & A Baby vs. La Bamba
Once again we have a trio of big name co-stars…in this case Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, & Steve Guttenberg. 
Three Men & A Baby was the highest grossing film of 1987, beating out the likes of Fatal Attraction, Good Morning Vietnam, Moonstruck, The Untouchables, Dirty Dancing, Lethal Weapon, and Planes, Trains, & Automobiles. The story finds three NY City bachelors suddenly tasked with taking care of an infant that one of them has fathered. The men have no clue what they are doing and therein lies the comedy. The film was directed by Star Trek’s Leonard Nimoy and was followed a few years later by an unremarkable sequel. Word on the street is that a third film…three decades after the original…is in the works. La Bamba was also made in 1987 and is a biopic of Richie Valens, a Latino rocker in the 1950’s who had a few big hits before his life was cut short on The Day the Music Died in a plane crash that also killed Buddy Holly and The Big Bopper. La Bamba has an awesome soundtrack and Lou Diamond Phillips is mesmerizing as Valens.
The Verdict: 1987 was a really good year in film!! I’m also leaving this one up to y’all. Let’s get those votes in!!
Porky’s vs. Mr. Mom
1982’s Porky’s is the quintessential teen sex comedy. Actually it is a forefather to movies like Superbad, 
Road Trip, & American Pie in a genre that keeps on keepin’ on with decidedly uneven results. Porky’s is set in the 1950’s and has a group of Florida high schoolers on the typical quest to lose their virginity, ticking off a local nightclub owner in the process. There are no big stars in the film, but it was directed by Bob Clark, who would use the success of Porky’s to launch his passion project…a little ditty called A Christmas Story. You may have heard of it. 1983’s Mr. Mom is amongst the early works of Michael Keaton, still one of the most underrated actors out there to this day. Keaton co-stars with the lovely Teri Garr as an engineer downsized from Ford Motor Company who becomes a stay-at-home Dad while Mom re-enters the work force at an ad agency. It is Keaton at his funniest.
The Verdict: Mr. Mom. The basic plot of Porky’s has been done better in other films. Meanwhile, Mr. Mom is an oft overlooked gem that really showcases Keaton’s comedic talent.
Moonstruck vs. Flashdance
I have long opined that Cher is a much better actress than singer, and the 1987 rom-com Moonstruck is 
one of her more memorable performances, earning her an Oscar for Best Actress. Olympia Dukakis won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress and the movie itself was nominated for Best Picture, losing out to The Last Emperor, which also beat out Broadcast News and Fatal Attraction…a prime example of the folly and apparent crack smoking prowess of Oscar voters. At any rate, the real gem in Moonstruck is Nicolas Cage as a man who falls head over heels in love with his soon-to-be sister-in-law. 1983’s Flashdance tells the story of a female steelworker/stripper in Pittsburgh who wants to be a professional dancer. She becomes romantically involved with her boss (from the steel mill…not the nudie bar) and has to overcome feelings of inadequacy to chase her dream.
The Verdict: Moonstruck. I feel like Flashdance is remembered more for its soundtrack than for the movie itself. Meanwhile, the pedigree of Moonstruck cannot be denied.
stellar so by January 2010 the suits at NBC panicked, wanting Leno back at 11:30 (for a half hour) and The Tonight Show at midnight. Conan, understandably, did not like this plan. Instead of ditching NBC and getting a late night gig somewhere else Leno played the “I just do what I’m told” card, going back to Tonight while Conan was unceremoniously dumped, albeit with a nice buyout. As of this moment Leno’s Tonight Show is going strong, while Conan’s new show…Monday-Thursday at 11pm on TBS…started out on fire but seems to be headed toward a downward spiral. Jay Leno, in my humble opinion, has shown his true colors, and he isn’t as nice of a guy as most thought a year ago.
American public a quasi-Communist agenda that will have negative ramifications for decades. And besides all that they are just buffoons. Voters took a step in the right direction (pun unavoidable) last month by significantly altering the makeup of Congress, ensuring that Pelosi would not continue as Speaker of the House. But that is next year. In 2010 this unholy triple threat got a lot done, and most of it won’t be good for America in the long run. Your mileage may vary, and that’s okay.
Armando Galarraga was one out away from a perfect game. A close play at first was ruled an infield hit by Joyce, costing Galarraga a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity at perfection. Replays showed the runner should have been called out, and to his credit the umpire was deeply apologetic while the pitcher showed an unparalleled level of grace and class. Jim Joyce’s heartfelt remorse and frank honesty earned him a measure of redemption, but making such a critical mistake and screwing another individual out of a monumentally singular accomplishment, an opportunity Armando Galarraga will almost certainly never have again, dictates a nomination for this “honor”.
charges were filed, but the district attorney, by the words he used in addressing the situation, seemed to strongly infer that it is likely something improper occurred but that it would be too difficult to secure a slam dunk conviction. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, who doesn’t have to answer to anyone and has no problem doing whatever he wants, suspended Roethlisberger for the first 5 weeks of the season. Roethlisberger rebounded nicely and has the Steelers on a roll, but the public perception of him is undeniably altered forever. Only two people know what really happened in that bathroom, but I believe that where there is smoke there is almost always fire. My prayers are with that young girl, that she can move forward as easily as the man who may or may not have raped her.
woodwork admitting to an affair with the very married golfer. To Tiger’s credit he didn’t try to deny the allegations, although how could he?? If one woman says she has slept with a married guy he can deny it, but when more than a dozen tell similar stories there is just no way out of the mess. Tiger’s indiscretions cost him his wife and tore apart his family. The situation also effectively destroyed his career, atleast in the short term. For over a decade Tiger Woods was unquestionably the world’s #1 golfer, mowing down the competition like no one since the classic Jack Nicklaus-Arnold Palmer rivalry years. That all changed in 2010, as for the first time in his professional life he did not win a single tournament, let alone one of the coveted “majors”. Before this scandal it seemed inevitable that Tiger would breaks Nicklaus’ record of 18 major championships, but now the possibility of that record being broken is much more in doubt. Woods lost a ton of money off the course too, as sponsors scurried away from him like roaches from sunlight. Some folks may never look at Tiger Woods the same, some have already moved on and anxiously await the day he re-ascends the throne as the much feared king of the links. We shall see what 2011 brings, but nothing can erase the horror that was the past 12 months.
school in 2003 the Akron born & bred Lebron was drafted by his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers. All that was lacking was a storybook ending, i.e. the kid leading the team of his childhood from the cellar to an NBA Championship. Unfortunately that was not how the story ended. Instead Lebron decided to go into full diva mode, stringing the Cavaliers and several other teams along during a long, self aggrandizing process at the end of which King James ditched the small market Cavaliers and “took his talents to South Beach”, aka the glitz & glamor of Miami. I have no issue with a free agent deciding to go to another team where he thinks the chances of long term success are more solid. This is America, and Lebron James simply took advantage of the opportunities afforded to him within the system by which the NBA runs. That is fine. What I and many others took exception to was the arrogant way the situation was handled, culminating in a TV special on ESPN called The Decision, during which James took a full hour to tell us what he could have said via Twitter or a normal news conference in about 30 seconds. There is a way to conduct business and a way not to conduct business, and it’s a lesson Lebron James has yet to learn. When I look at him now I don’t see intelligence, thoughtfulness, or likeability…I see a spoiled child whose amazing, God given athletic talent has provided for him a lifetime of being coddled to and put up on a pedestal. Funny thing about pedestals though…they are really fragile and easily come crashing down. 
Tiger Woods. A huge part of me would love to give the award to James, but at the end of the day what he did was within the rules and probably a smart business decision, even if the process was gone about awkwardly. Tiger, on the other hand, committed adultery…over & over & over again. I am not trying to be judgmental, just honest. What Tiger Woods did destroyed his personal life AND his professional life, and completely changed the public perception of him as a human being. I am quite sure he will get his game back and win more tournaments, but I doubt if he ever completely recovers from a series of monumentally stupid decisions that were obviously made with the wrong head. 
The Late Night Wars. Admittedly this is a very personal, biased choice, because as noted some of 2010’s hottest topics were things in which I just had no interest whatsoever. But late night television has long been a favorite of mine, so the real life soap opera that viewers saw play out each night on TV for several weeks was extremely entertaining in my world. 
words will automatically pop into our brains: oil spill. It was almost as big of a story as 2005’s Hurricane Katrina, with many similarities including slow response from the federal government, who’d rather take over our health care, hate rich people, and try to eliminate Jesus from the world altogether rather than doing things they actually should be doing. As for BP, I understand that it was an accident and accidents happen, but their response…or lack 
thereof…was even more painfully slow than the government’s, and when (now former) CEO Tony Hayward called the spill “relatively tiny”, stated that he wanted “his life back”, and was then spotted at a yacht race while oil was still spilling into the Gulf the American public had its whipping boy. My prayers are with the people of the Gulf Coast, many of whom hadn’t even recovered from Katrina yet and now they’ve had to endure the ramifications of this situation. 
I’ve honestly never listened to one of his songs, but the tastes of 12 year old girls are notoriously bad and the kid needs a haircut. If rumors about Bieber starring in a remakes of Grease and Back to the Future come true I may finally decide humanity is beyond redemption.
lifestyles intended. The acting was bad, the singing was not much better, and the overt sexuality was troubling. Honest to God Glee makes Dawson’s Creek look like freakin’ Shakespeare.
Is she hot?? Yes. But what other redeeming qualities does this bimbo have?? Atleast Britney Spears can kind of sing and Lindsay Lohan can act when she stays sober. Kardashian and her entire clan add nothing of substance to the human race.
watched a few times and was completely unimpressed and not entertained in the least. People that are entertained by such garbage make me sad.
I saw Gaga on an episode of Saturday Night Live several months ago, and you want to know something interesting?? She can sing. The gal has some pipes. So why does she have to hide behind the stupid name & outrageous outfits and sing crappy songs about sex with lyrics like “bluffin’ with my muffin’”?? Take off the stupid clothes, use that great voice to sing quality songs, and use your real name (Stephanie something-or-other) and maybe I’ll be interested.
amusing.
was to the Indy 500…so close so many times but always felled by bad luck, karma, timing, or whatever other negative forces in which one may believe. After playing his annual “Will he or won’t he??” game again last summer he was predictably cajoled into “one last season”, only this time I think Bret Favre really is finished. The Vikings, beset by injuries, poor leadership, a midseason coaching change, and other calamities, have been horrible. Favre’s 41 year old body has finally let him down, and his consecutive games streak was broken at 297. On top of that the aging quarterback has been mired in an embarrassing scandal in which he is accused of sending naughty text messages…complete with pics of himself au naturel…to a female reporter a couple years back when he was playing for the NY Jets. You’ve heard of sports stars who “went out on top”?? This is the direct opposite.
As noted previously I have never read the books or seen the movies. And I find people who are just a bit too obsessed by the whole thing really annoying.
Every freakin’ time I’ve gotten in my truck the past several months and turned on the radio I have heard one or both of these songs. I sort of liked them at first, but that mild affection ended after about the 400th listening. Let’s move forward. Or maybe I will just listen to more talk radio.
sluts to succeed, but if that’s the rule Miley is following it to the tee. And let’s be honest…she’s not a very talented actress or singer.
Is Lindsay still in rehab?? I don’t know and I don’t care. Lohan is the poster child for wasted potential. Unlike the average Hollywood tart this gal has skills. It was apparent from childhood that she had all the makings of a fantastic actress, one that might someday be thought of in the same vein as well respected performers like Meryl Streep, Jodie Foster, Holly Hunter, or Sally Field. Instead Lindsay has pissed away nearly all that potential. 
way tie – they all win…or lose (depending on one’s perspective).
left 33 miners trapped underground but, thankfully, still alive and mostly unhurt. Rescuers quickly figured out that the men could be retrieved from their prison 2300 feet underground…but it would take months. Not hours, not days, not weeks…months. Suddenly hope turned to fear. However…miraculously…all 33 men were able to survive 69 days in a spot built for such situations. Rescuing the men took a lot of effort on the part of many many individuals from all walks of life, but on 10/13/10 all 33 men were safely retrieved from what could have been their graves. The story was an inspiring one of hope, faith, effort, and teamwork. 
employed. Usually by the time a performer, especially a female, turns the corner past 50 she’s done. In 2010 Betty White went against the grain and was the exception to the rule, at the age of 88 having as big a year as anyone. It all started with a hilarious Snickers commercial during the Super Bowl, which for some reason spawned a viral campaign on Facebook to have the octogenarian host Saturday Night Live, which she finally did on May 8. That guest host spot even got her an Emmy nomination. White went on to do guest spots on sitcoms Community, The Middle, Hot in Cleveland, and 30 Rock. Betty White is proof that true talent overrides superficial indicators like age and breast size.
Honestly I am giving a nod to the 21st Winter Olympiad more out of politeness than anything. Did it have some fun stuff going on?? Sure. The U.S./Canada battle for hockey gold was compelling, some of the ice skating was entertaining, and curling is always awesome. But really, if a Russian luger hadn’t been tragically killed then there would be virtually nothing memorable about these Olympics. 
combined with President Obama’s low approval numbers are all the proof anyone should need that this country leans right and that conservative values and principles are alive & well. 
enjoyed the books far more than the movies, but the release of these final two films marks the conclusion of a 14 year love affair between an adoring public and its boy wizard. Both the books and the movies become darker and more sinister as they progress, and at some point the story really evolved from a childrens’ tale to something much more mature and literary. 
American John Isner was pitted against Frenchman Nicolas Mahut, with Isner the favorite. The two men proceeded to engage in the longest match in the history of tennis. It was suspended twice due to darkness and played out over 3 days, equally over 11 hours of playing time. The two men broke all kinds of records, with Isner eventually coming out as the victor. By the time the third day rolled around the attention of the masses had been captured and even lukewarm fans like myself were mesmerized. 
signify that New Orleans was indeed back. Super Bowl XLIV was watched by over 106 million people, making it not only the highest rated Super Bowl in its 44 year history but also the highest rated television program of any sort ever, besting the legendary 1983 farewell episode of MASH. Just a few months later New Orleans would be hit with disaster once again due to the aforementioned Gulf Oil Spill, but for one night its citizens were able to put all their troubles on the backburner and celebrate like only they can, and it was a pretty darn nice story for the rest of us too.
Glen really peed in the Cheerios of a lot of his critics by holding a rally where he and guest speakers weren’t shy about emphasizing faith, character, values, and conservative principles as much needed things our nation needs to fall back on. Not coincidentally (no matter what Mr. Beck says) this shindig was held at The Lincoln Memorial on the 47th anniversary of Martin Luther King, Jr’s memorable “I Have A Dream” speech. It was bad enough Glen Beck was openly talking about God, but the fact that he was co-opting liberals’ self-righteous “we’re the only ones who give a damn about black people” vibe really had a lot of folks on the left foaming at the mouth. The event was attended by anywhere from 80k to over 1 million people, depending on what source one believes. I watched it on television and saw absolutely nothing that anyone of any political persuasion should have been offended by. The speeches were uplifting and invigorating, tribute was repeatedly paid to our military, and there was really not a lot of political rhetoric. It is sad that we have come to a point in history when openly talking about God raises the ire of a not insignificant portion of the populace. A few months later TV personalities Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert held their own event that basically mocked Beck and all things conservative, and it was predictably obnoxious, offensive, and sophomoric. 
The Manofesto 