The Island of Misfit Blog Posts

The place to find stuff that doesn’t really fit any particular category.

The 2016 Sammy Awards – Part 2

Before we get too far into the new year we like to take a look back at all the highs & lows of the previous year. Welcome back to the show, and if you haven’t checked out Part 1 please do so. Really, it’s okay…we’ll wait.

After another amusing anecdote from our host Steve Harvey it is time to present our next award. He’s been waiting patiently on a bus outside…alone & without a live microphone. Please welcome the former host of Access Hollywood, a refugee from NBC’s Today Show, & the nephew of former President George H.W. Bush. Give a warm welcome to Billy Bush!! And the nominees are:

The Twitter Award for Most Interesting Water Cooler Topic

The Walking Dead

Am I the only person in America that has never seen one single second of this show?? More importantly, is it weird that I couldn’t possibly care less??

Transgender Politics

In 21^st Century America we don’t even know the difference between a male & female. It’s all about how a person “feels”. I think every science teacher I ever had would likely disagree. I don’t follow the crowd. I know what I know and facts are facts. If you disagree that’s alright, but just know that you’re part of the problem.

PokeMon Go

Back in the summer of 2016 this was a big thing for about five minutes. I’m not sure how it works, but I guess people download something on their phones and then seek out imaginary ghosts or something. Are their points?? Does anyone eventually win or lose the game?? I don’t know. I’m old & lazy. This game sounds like too much work with not enough reward.

The $20 Bill

Since 1928 the $20 bill has featured the face of Andrew Jackson, who was the 7^th President of the United States. But a movement arose to change that for some unknown reason. Folks decided to find a woman’s face…any woman…to put on the bill. I don’t know…equality, inclusiveness, fairness…some politically correct crap like that is to blame. Names that were suggested included Eleanor Roosevelt & Rosa Parks, but a poll that I never even knew existed was apparently voted on by over a half million people and won by Civil War heroine Harriet Tubman. Those new $20 bills will go into circulation in a few years.

#BlackLivesMatter

I suppose I should tread rather carefully thru this minefield. Suffice to say that I believe it is pathetic that we are still dealing with racism in 21^st Century America. However, I think it is worth debating what the bigger issue may be. Is it the fact that racism does undeniably exist?? Or is the idea that, despite tremendous strides in race relations that have seen minorities gain the legal equality that they were denied up until a few decades ago, a portion of the population…both black & white…persists in painting minorities as perpetual victims?? What I find especially disturbing is that this hornet’s nest really got stirred up AFTER the United States took a groundbreaking step by electing our first black President. Whether or not one agrees with President Obama politically the fact is that his election eight years ago was an historic moment that should have cemented the idea of racial equality & harmony, yet things have only gotten worse. I also think it is sad that the law enforcement community has been demonized in the process. I am sure that bad cops have always existed. They always will because there are evil forces in all walks of life. But the Black Lives Matter movement has been all too successful in painting the entire profession in a bad light. I am a proponent of the idea that all lives matter, but some even deem that idea racist. It’s a no-win situation for everybody.

Harambe

Back in May 2016 a three year old boy climbed into the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo. Patrons looked on in horror as a gorilla named Harambe grabbed the child and dragged him away. Some believe that the animal was trying to be protective of the boy, but obviously gorillas & humans tend to think differently about such things. Zoo employees saw no other solution than to shoot & kill Harambe. Video of the situation quickly went viral, and of course everybody just had to chime in with an opinion. While it is sad that the gorilla had to lose his life, the more important thing is that the young boy was unharmed.

No Nudity in Playboy

After a half century as America’s preeminent “gentlemen’s magazine” Playboy decided to no longer show full frontal nudity in its photographs in 2016. I am surprised they still publish magazines at all. Any magazine, let alone a nudie magazine. I haven’t picked up a Playboy in atleast 25 years. If a guy needs that kind of…entertainment…I think The Internet & video streaming is probably a more popular choice these days.

Gun Control

Another year, more mass shootings. Five police officers shot in Dallas in July. Six people killed in random shootings on a single February night in Kalamazoo, MI. 49 people killed & 53 others injured by a gunman at a nightclub in Orlando, FL in June. There are other examples I could cite. No one is arguing that these events aren’t tragic. Everyone would love for it to never happen again. The disagreement comes when discussing possible solutions. Gun control advocates would like to see guns banned and the Constitution’s 2^nd Amendment altered or abolished. Many others understand that more laws and/or prohibiting responsible gun ownership will not solve the problem. It’s a debate that has been raging my entire adult life and probably won’t go away anytime soon. Sadly there will be more shootings. We have issues in our nation that run deep and cannot be solved easily. I don’t know the right answer.

Hamilton

I live in West Virginia. Culture here is severely lacking. I’d like to think that if I lived in New York City I’d enjoy the occasional theater production. In 2016 Hamilton was apparently THE hottest ticket on Broadway. If my information is correct it is a musical about the life of Alexander Hamilton, one of America’s Founding Fathers and the first Treasury Secretary who infamously died in a duel at the hands of our third Vice President Aaron Burr. Because we are absolutely obsessed with political correctness in 21^st Century America the entire cast of Hamilton…who are portraying historically real people that were white…is black & Hispanic. I am sure this “inclusiveness” is a major reason that the show has received so much praise, although I suppose it is entirely possible that it is legitimately a well-written play with fantastic acting & singing. It received an added level of notoriety a couple of months ago when Vice President-elect Mike Pence attended a performance and one of the actors thought it was proper to address him from the stage, noting how “alarmed & anxious” he & his castmates are about the incoming Trump Administration. Newsflash: it was grossly inappropriate.

Scary Clowns

In the fall of 2016 various sightings of creepy clowns became a nationwide story. Some of these clowns just stood around looking scary. A few actually attacked people. I have no idea what the heck the deal is with all of it. Don’t we have enough problems to deal with??

Mannequin Challenge

This is one of the dumbest things I’ve seen in recent memory. It’s not even worthy of my time & energy. Atleast there was a point to the Ice Bucket Challenge.

Brangelina Break-Up

Angelina Jolie has never frosted my cupcake. She’s not been in a single movie that I enjoyed, and I don’t find her particularly attractive. Brad Pitt has actually been in a few films I like. The two infamously got together back in 2005 when he cheated on wife Jennifer Aniston with Jolie. I was a big fan of Friends. Aniston was one of my favorite celebrity crushes. This made me dislike Brangelina tremendously. In 2014, after eight years of living in sin and adopting a couple dozen babies from Third World countries, the couple finally got married. Then, just two years later, they announced their divorce. Somehow I have found the strength to go on.

And the Sammy goes to…..

PokeMon Go. I still don’t really get it, but atleast it was harmless fun for a lot of people, and honestly, we could all probably use more harmless fun.

To present our next award please welcome the man who dealt a fatal blow to late night television with his 2015 retirement. He’s a living legend who hosted NBC’s Late Night and CBS’s Late Show for over three decades. We’re not sure what he’s been up to for the past year & a half but we are happy to have him at the Sammy Awards. Please give a well-earned ovation to David Letterman!! And the nominees are:

Favorite Television Event

The People vs. O.J. Simpson

I lived thru the infamous O.J. Simpson murder trial back in the mid-90’s. I’m actually very surprised that it took two decades for it to be made into a movie…or in this case a mini-series. I had really low expectations and assumed it would be…at best…kind of tacky. However, I was pleasantly surprised at the quality of acting & writing. In fact, the show received 22 Emmy nominations and won 9 trophies. Cuba Gooding Jr. hasn’t been this good since winning an Oscar for Jerry Maguire in 1996, and both Sterling K. Brown & Courtney B. Vance were tremendous. John Travolta…well hey, we’ll always have Grease & Saturday Night Fever, right??

11.22.63

I’m not really a big Stephen King aficionado, but about five years ago he wrote a novel about a guy who goes back in time to stop the Kennedy assassination. Time travel?? JFK’s assassination? Yes please. I gave the book a whirl and was so glad that I did. Just an awesome read. I knew that it’d eventually be put on film, but even I am aware that King’s works are notoriously difficult to translate into movies and the results have been mixed over the years. After a big screen adaptation was scrapped eventually the decision was made to make a miniseries for Hulu, which was a good call. More questionable was casting James Franco in the lead role. Is it a good show?? Yes. Could it have been better?? Yes. I’d recommend it, but I’d also suggest not skipping the novel.

Stranger Things

I include this only as a courtesy. I have not watched it yet, though I intend to. Friends have told me they think I’d enjoy it. Netflix has already greenlit a second season so I suppose I better catch up ASAP.

Fuller House

The original Full House was cheesy fun back in the 90’s. I wasn’t the target demo then, and I am certainly not the viewer this follow up is seeking, but I’m a little bit of a rebel like that. Season 1 premiered on Netflix back in February before I began my new job, and I binged it all in one day. Season 2 became available not long before Christmas and it took me a few days to finish. Fuller House isn’t going to win any awards and critics haven’t been kind, but Netflix has already ordered a third season so I guess enough people are watching. Nostalgia can carry something further than one would think, and older fans of the original show seemingly enjoy its “sequel”.

ABC Fun & Games

When I was a kid my Grandma Pigott loved game shows. She’d watch them all morning long, and then watch the ones that were on in the evening. Sadly game shows have become passé in the ensuing decades, with the exception of the continued success of Jeopardy! & Wheel of Fortune. Occasionally something will pop up for a brief moment in the spotlight, like Who Wants to Be a Millionaire hosted by Regis Philbin back about 15 years ago. In 2016 ABC decided to revive a few old favorites. Family Feud, hosted by our very own Sammy Awards emcee Steve Harvey, has been successful in syndication for about six years. A celebrity version aired this summer for six weeks in prime time. Also part of the fun was a reboot of Match Game, hosted by Alec Baldwin, who is detestable in real life but admittedly very funny when he’s acting. The weakest link in the chain is a revival of The 100,000 Pyramid, which was originally hosted by the late great Dick Clark back in the day and is now helmed by former football player Michael Strahan. All three of these shows are mindless, kitschy fun, and that’s okay with me. Small doses…a month or two once or twice a year…is probably a smart way to go with the idea.

And the Sammy goes to…..

Fuller House. I said it wasn’t going to win any awards. I was wrong. Look, I realize that it’s not everyone’s cup o’ tea. Many people seek edgier or more intellectually stimulating entertainment, and that’s fine. Sometimes I crave something provocative or profound as well. But I think there’s room for a wide spectrum of choices on which to spend our down time. Fuller House probably won’t make it past 3 or 4 seasons, but for a brief period of time we can atleast appreciate it for the amusing trip down memory lane that it is meant to be.

To present our next award we are happy to welcome to the stage one of the preeminent actors of his generation. He has starred in modern classics like The Shawshank Redemption, Deep Impact, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight Rises, Ted 2, & Last Vegas. Please give some love to Morgan Freeman!!

My apologies. Mr. Freeman is unable to appear on the show tonight. Instead our next award will be presented by comedian Frank Caliendo…doing an impression of Morgan Freeman. And the nominees are:

The DB Cooper Award (For the Person Who Most Needs to Disappear)

Senator Joe Manchin

He’s the former Governor and a current United States Senator from my home state, but I’m never quite sure where he stands. Some have opined that he is a rather conservative Democrat, but he sure has seemed to kiss President Obama’s…ring…a lot the past several years. Then, this past summer, Senator Manchin made comments in a conversation about gun control whining about the Fifth Amendment right to due process being an inconvenient impediment. I’m never a fan of politicians complaining about our Constitution. The fact is that America’s Founding Fathers had more common sense & foresight in their pinkies than our entire legislative branch collectively shows in 21^st Century America.

Jon Gruden

Wow, is this guy a clown. I’m not sure why football fans or the powers-that-be at ESPN think he’s entertaining. He makes John Madden seem like Albert Einstein. Please…for the love of God…will some football team out there offer the dude a coaching job and get him off my TV??

Taylor Swift

She’s still around, though I think her star is fading. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.

Barack & Michelle Obama

Theoretically this will happen with the transfer of power to a new President in a few weeks. However, I have a bad feeling that, unlike other former Presidents who fade into the background and enjoy their retirement, ol’ Barack Hussein & his wife Aunt Esther aren’t really going away. The media loves them and will undoubtedly seek them out at every opportunity to comment on whatever is going on. I have predicted for several years that Obama would someday be the Secretary General of the United Nations, so look for movement on that front in the coming years.

“Caitlynn” Jenner

Let’s make one thing perfectly clear…Bruce Jenner is a man. Always has been, always will be. “Caitlynn” is a fictional character, not unlike Mrs. Doubtfire, Madea, or Big Momma. Unfortunately, instead of getting Mr. Jenner the help he so desperately needs to treat his mental illness the media & Hollywood has spent the past few years enabling his delusion.

Stephen Colbert

After a decade hosting a program on Comedy Central that I watched maybe 2 or 3 times Colbert was the inexplicable choice to replace David Letterman on CBS’s Late Show in 2015. I gave the man a chance…I really did. I still flip on over to that channel every once in a great while. But Colbert is just too damn political for a late night network television show. I suppose if you agree with his hateful leftist ideology you might find the guy funny. To each their own. I simply can’t stand the man or his little show, and I think CBS will tire of his shtick soon enough.

Bill & Hillary Clinton

They’ve written the blueprint for the Obamas. A decade & a half after Slick Willie left the White House these idiots are still around casting a dark shadow on America. Hillary even served in the U.S. Senate & as Secretary of State. Then, as we all know, she ran for President a couple of times, failing miserably on both attempts. Think about it…a majority of Americans outside the Lands of Liberal Make Believe in New York City, Hollywood, & Chicago chose Donald Trump over Hillary Clinton. That’s rejection with a capital R. I’d like to think the latest humiliating defeat would persuade these two to retire from public life permanently, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she runs again in four years.

Megyn Kelly

I’m so over her. One would assume certain things about Ms. Kelly since she works for Fox News, but appearances can be deceiving. I’m pretty tired of most of the media, but she especially has tended to make it all about herself this past year. I just want my newscasters to read the news. I don’t need their perspective. I don’t need their personality. I just want honesty & facts. I’d be willing to bet that she will eventually defect to CNN or MSNBC for big money, and that’s well within her rights. Go for it. Pad that bank account. Fancy yourself a star. And while Megyn Kelly is living that dream those of us who want to know what’s really going on in the world will know where to look, which won’t be wherever she is.

And the Sammy goes to…..

All of Them!! That’s right…it’s a mass tie. Just shut your pieholes. Go away. Get out. Good riddance. Don’t let the door hit you where the Good Lord split you.

Presenting our next award are two of the smartest people in the world…individuals who aren’t usually thought of as entertaining but, like the rest of us, like to let their hair down & relax every once in awhile. She is a former National Security Advisor and served as Secretary of State from 2005-2009. Please welcome Condoleeza Rice!! He is an astrophysicist & author and is the current Director of the Hayden Planetarium in New York City. Give a round of applause to Neil deGrasse Tyson!! And the nominees are:

Most Entertaining Program (Radio or TV)

Mike & Mike in the Morning

Once again my morning routine changed a bit in 2016, so watching Greeny & Golic from 6-10am every weekday isn’t really a priority. I still catch the show occasionally and enjoy it almost as much as I ever did, but admittedly the shine has worn off just a little.

The Young & The Restless

I keep saying I am going to give up my soap operas, but for some reason I don’t follow thru. Even my Dad is hooked on Y&R, which is really amusing to me. The show went thru some behind-the-scenes changes in 2016, but the storylines remain strong & the characters are interesting for the most part.

MetroNews Hotline

From 3-6pm each weekday afternoon here in WV we have the opportunity to listen to a statewide radio talk show that covers everything from current events & sports to pop culture & the financial markets. It’s comfort food radio, which in my book is a great thing. The program’s original host stepped down a few months ago and I haven’t totally decided how I feel about the new guy, but if I happen to be in my truck when it is on I’ll usually listen. God knows it’s better than the garbage the music stations are playing.

Highly Questionable

ESPN finally settled on a time slot for this show in 2016, and if I’m home I’ll watch. If I’m not going to be home I’ll almost always DVR it. It’s irreverant, occasionally silly, sometimes informative, & always easily palatable. I’ve even become accustomed to co-host Bomani Jones, who I wasn’t quite sold on a year ago.

The Rush Limbaugh Show

El Rushbo is still going strong after nearly three decades on the radio. With 2016 being an election year Rush was in his element. I don’t listen often, but always enjoy it when I do. I understand that he doesn’t frost everyone’s cupcake, and that’s alright. I like the show and that’s what matters.

General Hospital

I’ve been watching GH since grade school. I always say I’m going to stop, but I don’t. There are certainly better things I could be spending time on, but I suppose there are worse things as well.

Designated Survivor

I never watched a single second of Kiefer Sutherland’s popular show 24, but as soon as I first saw teasers of this new program online several months ago I knew I had to check it out, and after the first episode I was hooked. I rarely even bother with new prime time shows, but this one is a winner. Thru the first half of the season they have constructed a web of suspense & intrigue that rivals any drama I’ve ever seen. It’s a well written show with great performances. I’m not sure if it’ll have legs for more than a couple of years, but I’d be happy to be wrong about that.

WWE Raw

Monday night is wrestling night. I don’t answer the phone. I don’t make other plans if possible. Maybe I’ll flip back & forth to the Monday night NFL game, but generally my eyes are glued to my wrasslin’ for a few hours. Or atleast that’s how it used to be. I have noticed in the past year I do a bit more channel surfing during Raw, or sometimes I’ll actually doze off. After the demise of WCW and with no viable competition remaining it seems like Vince McMahon has taken his foot off the gas just a bit. WWE has also made a concerted effort to become more family friendly in recent years, which is a blessing & a curse. Pro wrestling has always had its ebbs & tides, and right now seems to be a bit of a lull. Still though, there are weeks when it’s really fun to be a wrestling fan.

Jeopardy!

I love my game shows, and this is the best one around. It actually rewards people for being intelligent, and really, who could have an issue with that??

Pardon the Interruption

In contrast to its ESPN brethren Highly Questionable, PTI is proudly & audaciously cantankerous. Hosts Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon like to shout at each other for no apparent reason, but it kind of works. This is another show that I’ll usually record if I’m not going to be home. ESPN has perfected the argumentative sports talk show blueprint and probably ran it into the ground at this point, but after 15 years PTI is still at the top of the food chain with no signs of fading away anytime soon.

Days of Our Lives

Of the three soaps that I watch this is probably the weakest. There just seems to be something…subpar…about its production. Having said that, after over three decades of viewership the Horton, Brady, DiMera, & Kiriakis clans are fictional families that I have grown fond of, atleast as much as one can care about imaginary characters on TV.

This Is Us

2016 not only hooked me on one new show…it made me a fan of TWO. I decided to check out This Is Us because of actor Justin Hartley, who left his role on Y&R to star in the new NBC prime time drama. Hartley is a really good actor, and on This Is Us he is surrounded by a talented ensemble cast. The show has a really interesting hook, going back & forth between the current lives of three siblings and influential events in their childhood. Mandy Moore has always been a guilty pleasure (I love A Walk to Remember), and in this show she plays the same character in two eras separated by nearly forty years. The acting is stupendous and the writing is amazing. I expect this show to rack up the awards for however many years it lasts.

RedZone

There is nothing that I enjoy more than coming home from church on Sunday and settling in to watch seven straight hours of NFL football. No commercials, no timeouts, no halftimes…just football. Every meaningful moment of every game…atleast the ones played on Sunday afternoon. Someone needs to apply this same concept to college football on Saturdays.

And the Sammy goes to…..

This Is Us & Designated Survivor. It’s a tie!! I wasn’t sure if the creative types in Hollywood were capable of creating new & interesting television shows anymore, but they sure hit a two run homer with these. I can’t remember the last time I was actually excited about anything on TV outside of ball games. If you haven’t checked them out yet you’ve only missed one half of one season so it’d be really easy to catch up. Thank you to the creators of these two shows for making me believe in the power of originality again. Kudos.

Let’s pause one more time. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion!!

The 2016 Sammy Awards – Part 1

After an unavoidable…interruption…a year ago we are back and thrilled to present the 2016 Sammy Awards, a Manoverse tradition since 2010. The Sammys are, in a nutshell, a fun & introspective year in review presented as the world’s best imaginary awards show. I like to think of The Sammys as an eclectic remix of real awards shows…classier than anything MTV offers, not as pretentious as The Oscars & Grammys, and more engaging than the plethora of offerings (The SAGs, The Tonys, The ESPYs, The People’s Choice Awards, etc.) that no one watches. The pace is brisk because a show longer than two hours drags and loses the interest of the viewer. There are no acceptance speeches because most of the categories have far too many nominees to have in the audience and many might not consider it an honor to be nominated anyway. I’d like to think that Netflix, Amazon, or Hulu would take a shot at streaming the show. Their people should call my people.

Let us begin by welcoming the host for our 2016 show. He’s an award winning comedian & talk show host, and since 2010 has breathed new life into legendary game show Family Feud. Please welcome Steve Harvey!!

Following a brief yet hilarious introduction to the show by our host it is time for the first award presentation. Please welcome a three time World Series winning pitcher, six time MLB All Star, former ESPN baseball analyst, & everyone’s favorite politically incorrect keyboard warrior…Curt Schilling!! And the nominees are:

Biggest Sports Story

Retirements Everywhere!!

One of the more poignant moments in sports is when a player, coach, or other associated personality decides to walk away after a long & memorable career, and in 2016 it seems like we said more than the usual fair share of goodbyes. I was never a big Kobe Bryant fan, but there is no denying that he had a significant impact on the modern NBA. After limping to the finish line the last couple of years on tired legs & surrounded by a very mediocre LA Lakers team, Kobe summoned some of his old magic one last time, scoring 60 points against the Utah Jazz in his final game. Peyton Manning rode into the sunset the way everyone would like to. After a legendary & record breaking 18 year career he led the Denver Broncos to a Super Bowl championship. Manning certainly wasn’t at his best in his final few seasons with the Broncos, but his place among the greatest quarterbacks of all time is secure. Vin Scully, Dick Enberg, & Verne Lundquist all plied their trade as announcers for many decades. Scully is best known as the voice of the LA Dodgers, but fortunately for us east coasters he also called many nationally televised games in both baseball & football. Enberg is best remembered as a play-by-play announcer for NBC, calling both NFL & MLB games. Lundquist isn’t completely retired, but will no longer be calling college football games. Thankfully we’ll still be able to hear him on golf broadcasts. Kevin Garnett & Tim Duncan both called it quits after the 2015-16 NBA season. Duncan won five championships in 19 seasons with the San Antonio Spurs. In 1995 Garnett became the first player in two decades drafted directly from high school to the NBA, a practice the league would outlaw in 2006. He played for three different teams and won one championship with the Boston Celtics in 2008. He had more individual than team success, winning a league MVP & being named to 15 All Star teams. David Ortiz is a mountain of a man that was the designated hitter & occasional first baseman for the Boston Red Sox for 13 years. He was a big part of the team that finally broke the infamous Curse of the Bambino and brought Boston their first World Series title in 86 years. Two more titles would follow. Big Papi had one of his best seasons in 2016, batting .315 and hitting 38 home runs. Unfortunately various leg & foot problems forced him into retirement. Though I haven’t watched NASCAR for a couple of years for reasons I’ll not rehash, Tony Stewart had become my favorite driver after the tragic demise of Dale Earnhardt. I always appreciated his forthright & decidedly un-PC manner. Smoke won three Cup titles & 49 races in over 600 starts in 18 years. I suppose he’ll still be around as a team owner, which is good for the sport.

Cleveland Wins NBA Title

I’m not the biggest NBA fan. I only pay attention when the playoffs roll around, have never had a favorite team, & haven’t cared all that much since Michael Jordan retired. However, the one thing that has drawn me in at all over the past several years is the closest thing we’ve had to Jordan…Lebron James. His departure from Cleveland to Miami and subsequent return has been well chronicled, and in 2016 all the hopes & dreams of every sports fan in Cleveland came to fruition as King James led his hometown Cavaliers to their first ever NBA title, the city’s first professional sports championship of any kind since 1964. It was an exciting rematch of the previous year’s championship series, with the Cavs coming back from a 3-1 series deficit to upend the defending champion Golden State Warriors in a thrilling Game 7.

Brady’s Court Battle

In 2016 golden boy QB Tom Brady finally lost his yearlong battle against DeflateGate and was forced to serve a four game suspension at the beginning of the NFL season. Of course he still may get the last laugh, as the New England Patriots finished with the best record in the league and enter the playoffs as a solid Super Bowl favorite.

Villanova Wins NCAA Title

The Villanova Wildcats won their first national championship since 1985, beating North Carolina on a buzzer beater in the title game. The Wildcats won 35 games and defeated four straight Top 10 opponents during March Madness.

Warriors Wins Record

The 2016 Golden State Warriors, led by point guard Stephen Curry & power forward Draymond Green, won 73 games during the regular season, breaking a record set by the Jordan/Pippen Bulls two decades earlier. They came into the season as the defending NBA champs and dominated the competition…until the finals, where they fell to Lebron James & his Cleveland Cavaliers.

Cubs Win World Series

The Chicago Cubs have been the loveable losers of baseball for as long as I can remember. As with the Red Sox, the Cubs had been battling their own “curse”, the Curse of the Billy Goat, on which multiple heartbreaking postseason failures had been blamed since their last World Series title in 1908. All of that changed in 2011, when Theo Epstein, the wunderkind general manager that had helped Boston turn things around a decade ago, took the same job in Chicago. In 2016 his rebuilding plan blossomed and the Cubs beat the Cleveland Indians in a really fun seven game World Series.

Johnny Football

The long sad odyssey of Johnny Manziel finally reached its inevitable conclusion in 2016 when the former Heisman Trophy winner but failed NFL quarterback was cut loose by the Cleveland Browns. Aside from the fact that Manziel is a marginal NFL talent at best, off the field issues with drugs, legal problems, & just a generally selfish, arrogant, poor attitude torpedoed any chance he had at success. When the Browns don’t even want you that’s a huge warning sign.

Penguins Win Stanley Cup

I pay even less attention to hockey than I do the NBA & NASCAR, but if my Pens are involved when the playoffs roll around I will generally check it out. 2016 brought Pittsburgh its fourth Stanley Cup since 1990. They defeated the San Jose Sharks in six games, with the awesome Sidney Crosby being named the series MVP.

And the Sammy goes to…..

The Chicago Cubs. It’s hard to beat a century old drought and an angst ridden fan base that has endured so many painful losses. I’m a Pirates fan, so I obviously cheer against the Cubs all season long, but I must admit this was a really cool story and I am glad for long suffering fans in The Windy City.

To present our next award, please welcome three all-time favorites who have one thing in common…they did guest spots on a certain television show back in the 60’s. First, he is best known as Captain Merrill Stubing on 80’s cheesefest The Love Boat. Please welcome Gavin MacLeod. Next, he has long been one of America’s crankiest yet most beloved comedians. He hung out with Sinatra back in the day, spent a good deal of time on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show couch, and now he is here with us at The Sammy Awards. Please welcome Don Rickles. And finally, he is an Academy Award winning actor best known for creepy roles in The Shining, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Batman, & A Few Good Men. It is an honor to welcome Jack Nicholson.

This is a special award with only one nominee & winner.

The Fred Berry Memorial Award for Excellence in Syndication

The Andy Griffith Show

Even the best television shows are generally cancelled after 6-10 seasons, air in syndication for a few years, & then slip away into the ether, replaced in the hearts & minds of viewers everywhere with the latest & greatest sitcom, soapy drama, or police procedural. Every once in awhile a program comes along that stays afloat in the sea of pop culture prominence for a bit longer, but eventually even those elite shows fade into just an occasionally recalled fond memory. The Andy Griffith Show is different. On any given day of the week I can do a little channel surfing and watch atleast a couple of TAGS episodes. Ponder that. This is a show that stopped airing original episodes nearly a half century ago, but its reruns are still broadcast in 2016 and beyond. Almost all of the cast has left this mortal coil, yet we still watch. I don’t think I’d be wrong in saying that TAGS has entertained multiple generations and continues to delight people of all ages even today. Local TV stations have no shortage of syndicated programs to choose from when they need to fill a time slot, but they know that TAGS has retained its popularity and will get good ratings. There are many reasons for this, most of which I have mentioned somewhere in this forum at one time or another. It is the distinct pleasure of The Manofesto to give The Andy Griffith Show one more well deserved victory lap, and hopefully we’ll all still be enjoying it for many years to come.

To present our next award we originally contacted singer & emancipated butterfly Mariah Carey, but she declined the invitation and has gone into hiding in an undisclosed location for some unknown reason. We next contacted MMA fighter Ronda Rousey, but when she was told that the presentation would likely take longer than 48 seconds she was forced to say no. Therefore, we turn to well-regarded and very funny blogger, author, & social media personality Susannah Lewis. And the nominees are:

Least Satisfying Movie

The Do-Over

So it has come to this for Adam Sandler. After being one of the biggest movie stars in the world in the 90’s with hits like The Wedding Singer, Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison, & The Waterboy, he has hit the skids in the past decade, with some of the worst films ever produced (Jack & Jill, That’s My Boy, something about a Zohan). Now his movies aren’t even in theaters…they are being directly streamed into our homes. I didn’t know this until after I saw The Do-Over, but awhile back Sandler signed a four movie contract with Netflix. The first one was released last December when I was in the hospital which explains why I hadn’t heard of it. As for this second project in the deal, it has Sandler & David Spade as two old high school pals who are unhappy with their lives so they fake their own deaths. It’s an interesting premise, and I’ve got to give all involved credit for one thing…they didn’t mail it in. The story has more twists & turns than an Appalachian highway, with an odd mix of comedy, action, intrigue, & pathos. It’s not boring…it’s just not very good.

Dirty Grandpa

Robert DeNiro needs to fire his agent, manager, & anyone else that assists him in choosing projects. Seeing him in excrement like this makes me sad. Even Zac Efron can do better and he’s a tool.

Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising

I had low expectations going in because the 2014 original wasn’t good, yet somehow this sequel is actually even more tasteless & unremarkable. I didn’t laugh once. Two hours of my life I can never get back.

The Bronze

Fans of The Big Bang Theory get quite a shock seeing their sweet little Bernadette in this flick. Melissa Rauch stars as a former Olympic medalist still living on her fading notoriety in the small Ohio town in which she grew up. The young “lady” is mean-spirited, foulmouthed, & treats her adoring mailman father like dirt. She doesn’t have a job and relies on her fans & friends to buy her things. Oh, and she also steals money from mail she rifles thru in her Dad’s truck. Are you laughing yet?? When Hope (that’s her name…seriously) gets an opportunity to coach an up & coming gymnast also from her hometown she at first attempts to sabotage the young girl, but eventually changes course and guides her to the gold medal. I’m sure there are people out there that find this movie hysterically funny, but I’m not sure I’d want to know those people.

Bad Santa 2

If you enjoyed the 2003 original I suppose you’ll like this follow-up, which has Billy Bob Thornton putting the ol’ red suit back on & reprising his role as a misanthropic, drunken, foul mouthed thief who likes to score big during the holiday season. He reunites with his diminutive partner in crime and they team up with Santa’s profane & terminally ill mother to rob a Chicago children’s charity. I’m no prude, but I do believe I have some class and this kind of humor just doesn’t frost my cupcake. I didn’t particularly care for the first film and had no expectations that the sequel would alter my perspective. I was right. If vulgarity & F-bombs tickle your funny bone then, by all means, enjoy…it’s a free country. I will continue to aim higher.

And the Sammy goes to…..

Dirty Grandpa. I don’t know why I continue to subject myself to DeNiro. The Godfather Part II is way way way in the rearview mirror. Even the Meet the Parents movies seem like a lifetime ago. In the past decade this alleged cinematic icon has made a string of forgettable and/or outright atrocious films. This might be the absolute worst of the bunch, and could compete for one of the vilest pieces of garbage to ever be on the big screen. Just retire Mr. DeNiro. Leave the memories alone.

This feels like an appropriate place to pause. Please stay tuned for Part 2!!

Points of Ponderation…..Episode 14.16

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

According to an article I ran across Japan’s Funai Electric was the last company in the world to be manufacturing VCRs, but they ceased production back in July. Not that its surprising news. With DVDs, Blue Rays, & streaming services available VCRs have been basically obsolete for several years. Still though, it’s an interesting bit of trivia.

I have no idea what the next four years will bring, but let’s not pretend that the previous eight years have been all sunshine & roses.

A few post-Christmas thoughts:

Contrary to my original plan I did end up actually shopping at the mall a couple of times, and it was a predictable exercise in frustration. I understand the economics of the holiday season and realize that stores try to maximize available space to boost profits, but holy cow…a number of places I went into were so packed with stuff that I had a rather difficult time navigating thru the mess. I learned a long time ago that very few people understand or care what life is like for those of us dealing with a disability, but I’d love to put store managers in a wheelchair and see how they like trying to shop in their establishment. I used to love going into the bookstore, but between high prices & store created accessibility issues it’s just easier to stay home & buy online.
Within 24 hours of Christmas Day my father regifted two food gifts that I had given him…back to me. To be honest I would have been less offended if he would have just tossed them in the garbage and pretended like he kinda sorta liked them.
Kudos to the USA Network for reviving…to some small degree…the old tradition of being able to watch It’s A Wonderful Life multiple times. Back in the early 90’s NBC gained the film’s rights and has typically shown it only once or twice…always on Christmas Eve and occasionally earlier in December. USA is owned by NBC Universal and this year aired IAWL a few times in addition to the two presentations on NBC.
There didn’t seem to be as many festively decorated houses in my neck of the woods as I fondly recall from my idyllic childhood. That disposable income seems to be more often spent on crack & heroin these days.
Between the pound of pork jowl (that I am given to understand I am supposed to dredge in flour then fry) & the leftover pizza that my Dad gave me (the day after Christmas at the same time as the aforementioned regifting) and the FIVE POUND chocolate bar that I was given as a present by my sister & nephews I am reasonably sure that my family is trying to kill me.
On Christmas Day here in WV I was wearing sunglasses & had the AC on in my truck. With all due respect to the late great Bing Crosby, I’ll take that over a White Christmas any day.
Dear Freeform (formerly ABC Family): Hopefully next year, during your 25 Days of Christmas, you’ll show more initiative that just airing the same few films over & over & over again. I know there are legal issues with broadcast rights that I do not understand. I get that. But I still think that you can do better. Also, Frozen, Toy Story, and Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory are NOT Christmas movies.

If y’all want us “deniers” to believe in your cause you’re going to have to do a better job of selling it.

The RIP section of this year’s Sammy Awards is going to be longer & sadder than usual. 2016 has been brutal as far as seeing familiar faces that were a big part of many of our childhoods pass into The Great Beyond. As former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee stated, “Despite all the talk in the media, there’s nothing cursed about 2016. The 20th century saw the rise of pop culture as a mass medium, along with many performers who became household names. The early stars are now inevitably passing away from old age, and the stars of the rock era are not only aging, but suffering the ravages of drug-fueled lifestyles. So sadly, this is a story that’s likely to be repeated throughout the New Year.” I understand that a) I & therefore they are growing older so death isn’t a completely shocking event, and b) many of these famous types live hard & fast, but that doesn’t lessen the impact of their demise.

I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions for reasons that I have previously stated, but I’m going to come close to making one now. I’ve said multiple times in the past couple of years that I have backed off of getting involved as much in sociopolitical discussions/arguments, but the truth is that I occasionally still indulge. I think though that the time has come to go cold turkey. Sometimes I just can’t resist, and what usually happens is that I find myself in a den of vipers assigning me the typical adjectives…grumpy, angry, bigoted, racist, homophobic, misogynistic, Nazi. Of course my accusers are bastions of virtue, staunch defenders of the realm of “open-mindedness”, “inclusion”, & “tolerance”. They post provocative things on social media then feign surprise when a battle royal of malice & harsh words follows. After the hornet’s nest has subsided THEN they declare their domain “hate free” and plead for an ending to the “ugliness”…until the next time they need some attention & ego stroking and decide to incite more conflict. I see “memes” all the time about the silliness of “unfriending” people due to political disagreements. However, I think we should consider the fact that such action is oftentimes completely legitimate and quite possibly a rather mature decision. These…debates…become rather revealing. They expose a person’s core beliefs & character. Who is the “good” person and who is the “bad” person?? Well, I don’t think there is an answer to that…it’s a matter of perspective. But look at it this way…if you don’t like ice cream you probably don’t frequent Dairy Queen. If you don’t like country music you don’t listen to it on the radio. If you have an affinity for horror films you might frequently watch them at the local cinema or on Netflix. I love ice cream but don’t like country music & horror films. If your preferences are different that doesn’t make either of us bad people…just incompatible. Some differences…like taste in foods, films, & music…are inconsequential and can actually make life more fun & interesting, but a completely different worldview is a chasm that is difficult to overcome. That doesn’t mean folks can’t interact or work together toward common goals, but it does create the need to maintain a comfortable distance.

Points of Ponderation…..Episode 13.16

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

Let’s be honest…

If Barack Obama would’ve stepped in and convinced Carrier not to move some of its operations overseas and saved 1000 jobs in Indiana he would have been hailed by the media as a conquering hero. President-elect Trump does the same thing and the story is flippantly treated with suspicion & thinly veiled derision. That kind of double standard is EXACTLY what led to Trump’s election, yet talking heads & other “journalists” don’t get it at all and just keep on doing what they do.

The older I get the more selfish I become, which I’m pretty sure is the opposite of how things are supposed to work. I guess I’m just tired of being taken advantage of & used.

Recently posted status on Facebook: “How do you not have a boyfriend? I hear that repeatedly. Because men suck and I’m too sexy that’s why fucktard.” I resisted the urge to opine that you don’t have a boyfriend because why in the blue hell would any self-respecting man date a woman who has such a poor opinion of men. It’s not them…it’s you. Generally speaking I am opposed to using social media as a forum to whine & cry about everything that’s going wrong in life. I have not been blameless in the past and still occasionally have moments that poorly reflect on my character, but I have really made an effort in the last year or two to make most of what I post online be informative, entertaining, uplifting, or some combination of all of those things.

Have you ever watched someone do something and thought to yourself “Yeah…I’m just going to redo this whole deal later”??

I am much more saddened by the recent death of Florence Henderson, aka Carol Brady from The Brady Bunch, than I am by the departure from this mortal coil of dictator Fidel Castro.

I have zero patience for people with no sense of humor. Lighten up Francis.

Jesus Christ deserves our devotion & respect, especially for Luke 23:34, when He pleads with God “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” as He is hanging on the cross. I get annoyed when, despite numerous gentle admonitions, my well-intentioned but dim-witted neighbor knocks on my door EVERY Saturday afternoon and seems surprised that he’s awakened me when he KNOWS I work midnight shifts and sleep most of the day. I cannot fathom how I would feel or act toward someone who was KILLING me. Think about that.

A Year in the Life

A cool thing about having a forum like The Manofesto is that it provides an opportunity for reflection and a place to mark occasions that are meaningful, if only to me.

One year ago today I posted this meme about encouragement on my Facebook page. It would be the last thing I’d post until a week later, when I wrote a brief update on my condition from a hospital bed. I very clearly remember waking up on Veteran’s Day, but the following 48 hours are forever lost to me. My family became worried enough that they came to my place and had to get law enforcement to gain entrance. I’m told I was conscious but have no memory of the encounter. I was rushed to a local hospital and then taken to another bigger hospital about an hour up the road. I was born with a condition called spina bifida, and something that usually goes hand in hand with that is an abnormality called hydrocephalus, which means that fluid collects around my brain and builds up pressure. This pressure is relieved by a shunt that is inserted into one’s head, with a tube draining harmlessly into an abdominal cavity. I’ve been very blessed to have very few issues with this process. The shunt that was initially put in my head as a baby had been replaced only once, in high school, and even then the symptoms that I exhibited weren’t too terrible. What happened a year ago was much worse, and I understand that I am blessed to be alive. I underwent two surgeries and spent a couple of months in the hospital. Complications arose which prolonged the agony or my stay would have been much shorter.

Upon my arrival back home I wrote about my experience in the hospital and continue to be thankful for the talented doctors, nurses, & medical staff that saved my life. I haven’t totally forgotten about those that didn’t necessarily appeal to me, but we’ll let bygones be bygones. Eventually I regained most of my strength. Wounds healed. Life was resumed. I got a new job back in the spring and returned to normal activities like church and…well…whatever else I do in this humble & oftentimes prosaic little life of mine.

I am forever grateful to everyone who nudged me along in the path to recovery. My father visited often at the hospital and ran errands for me. I’ve desperately missed my mother every bit of the past 17 years, but Dad fills that void in his own unique & indispensable way. I have a sister & two nephews who, despite busy lives of their own, were there when I needed them most and continue to do just that. Sweet little Rocco lived with them for nearly three months. I know in my heart & soul that many people don’t have that kind of support. My brother from another mother, The Owl, drove five hours from Columbus, OH for a visit. He didn’t have to do that, but it made a dreary Saturday confined to a hospital bed just a little more enjoyable. My minister visited often and my church family stayed in touch. I believe wholeheartedly in the power of prayer. In the hymnal at church #77 is How Great Thou Art. When it was decided to move me to a different hospital room in the very late hours of the night (because they do those kinds of weird things at odd hours) my new abode was room 77, and I just smiled and assured God I understood the message. I could go on, but I’ll refrain. I just wanted to say “Thank You” one more time to all who visited, called, stayed in contact on social media, and said a little prayer or two along that bumpy road.

I worked last night, as I do every Friday from 10:30pm to 7am. But this morning I came home. I am conscious (for now…gotta get some zzzz’s soon). I know who I am and on what planet I reside. I’m snuggling with Rocco and later on I’ll watch some football on my own TV while eating my own food. Exciting?? Not really, but in comparison to where I was a year ago I’ll happily embrace it. There is a little part of me that will always wonder if what happened might happen again, but I can’t let that drive me nuts. None of us know what the future holds…that’s just part of this deal called life. There is a little part of me that will always be sad about the things I missed. I didn’t get to attend my youngest nephew’s playoff games on his way to a third straight state championship in football. I was in the hospital for Thanksgiving, Christmas, & New Year’s, and y’all know how much I love my holidays. Though I have condemned Christmas Creep in years past I will admit that I’ve already been listening to carols and may have watched Elf on television. I am REALLY excited about the holidays this year and might even put up a Christmas tree for the first time in over a decade.

God blessed me with people who offered encouragement. They offered hope in the midst of hurt and love that minimized my pain. The suffering that I endured doesn’t amount to a hill o’ beans compared to the issues that many face on a daily basis, but one doesn’t always understand that while surrounded by the storm. When faced with having my second surgery in less than a month last December I must admit that there was a train of thought running thru my head wondering if I’d make it off the operating table alive. I am not usually such a fatalist, but it was a feeling I couldn’t shake. After the surgery was over and I did indeed wake up I knew there had to be a reason. God wasn’t done with me yet. I’m still not sure why I’m here…that is indeed the great existential question we all ponder occasionally, right?? All I know, as I sit here in my humble little Bachelor Palace preparing to take a much needed nap, is that to everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under Heaven. I’m not much of a country music fan, but a few years ago Travis Tritt did a great song in which he opined that it’s a great day to be alive…I know the sun’s still shining when I close my eyes…there’s some hard times in the neighborhood but why can’t every day be just this good…it’s a goofy thing but I just gotta say, hey, I’m doing alright.

Points of Ponderation…..Episode 12.16

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

I never know whether to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas on Halloween or during the Christmas season…so I just don’t watch it. Stop confusing me Tim Burton!!

You can’t spell Louis L’Amour without Islam.

Prepare to be amazed. Yours truly is about to recommend yet ANOTHER new television show. In the last edition of PoP I gave props to ABC’s Designated Survivor starring Kiefer Sutherland. Today I want to endorse NBC’s innovative dramedy This Is Us. It’s one of those big ensemble family deals, which on the surface isn’t really breaking new ground, but the creators of this one have come up with a unique angle that almost kinda sorta involves time travel. Let’s just say that Mandy Moore portrays a 30 year old and a 66 year old…in the same show. Mind blown, right?? It is really well-written and the cast is superb. I kept missing it and finally decided to seek it out online, and when I did I was so hooked that I caught up on five episodes in one evening. I’m not sure if This Is Us is a show that can be sustained for the long haul, but even if we only get one or two seasons it will be greatly enjoyed.

I wonder if anyone has ever had four daughters and named them Autumn, Winter, Spring, & Summer.

I have remained relatively quiet during this election cycle, atleast for me. However, with the big day right around the corner allow me to briefly opine. I just don’t understand how any thinking person can cast their vote for Hillary Clinton. I’m tired of Hollywood celebrities…especially females (no offense ladies)…pulling out all their “glass ceiling”, “historic election” poppycock. I do NOT care that she is a woman. I have nothing against the idea of a female President. I‘m sure that there are several qualified contenders out there that’d make a fine chief executive. But I do not believe that gender alone is a good enough reason to vote for anyone. I happen to like my Constitutional rights and have valid concerns about how freedom of speech, freedom of religion, & the right to keep & bear arms would be negatively impacted under an HRC administration and perhaps for generations to come…certainly for the remainder of my life…if she is allowed to pack the Supreme Court with “progressive” justices (she has even floated the idea of nominating President Obama!!). I can’t honestly say that I am excited about casting my vote for Donald Trump. I had hoped that the GOP would nominate a dyed-in-the-wool conservative with atleast some high level government experience. Having said that, I understand the movement that has propelled Trump this far and am more comfortable gambling on his outsider shtick to find out if his business acumen really can translate into political leadership than I am giving Hillary Clinton any legitimate power. I am not one of those doomsdayers that think Trump will somehow lead us into World War III or otherwise do irreparable damage to the country. Worst case scenario?? He ticks off some people who take their ball home and refuse to play with us anymore. If the United States can withstand Vietnam, Watergate, the extreme lows of the Carter Administration, the overstated yet undeniable foibles of George W. Bush, and the what I believe to be intentionally destructive actions of the past eight years, then I hardly think Donald Trump will do any permanent damage. I believe Mrs. Clinton would do far more harm to the cause of freedom.

The world would be a much better place if people would just stop & think how their actions might negatively affect others.

Dear Dairy Queen (or any other purveyor of tasty ice cream treats):

You do realize that there is a slight difference between ice cream & a milkshake, right?? When buying a milkshake it does not impress me that it is super duper thick. I don’t care if you can flip it upside down and not spill the contents. What I do care about is being able to drink the darn thing thru a straw. I feel weird sitting in my vehicle sucking so hard (on the straw) that the eyes of children under 18 should be shielded. Obviously I wouldn’t like a watery consistency either. I am merely suggesting that there should be an acceptable middle ground. Surely someone somewhere gets paid a fair salary to deal with such issues.

Points of Ponderation…..Episode 11.16

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

As predicted, my late night habits have changed significantly in the past year & a half. Upon David Letterman’s retirement and the final piece of late night television’s transformation into something I barely recognize I opined that “it is just as likely that, at long last, I will begin my own transformation into a cantankerous old geezer and be in bed way before 11:30pm. more & more often.” Now I must admit that I am rarely in bed that early. However, if I am at home and not working it has become the norm for me to enjoy the late local news and then either watch a movie or turn the TV off altogether and read a bit or do some writing. The current late night lineup is oftentimes too political for my taste or just outright tedious. Either way I’ve got better things to do with my time. Your mileage may vary and that’s okay.

Dear Facebook: What exactly are “top” stories?? Who decides that?? More importantly, why…when a person makes it perfectly clear that they prefer the most recent stories…do you KEEP SWITCHING IT BACK?!?!?!?? I realize that using the site is free, but that doesn’t give you the right to just do whatever you feel like and ignore your customers’ wishes on even the most insignificant of issues. Get your stuff together.

I wonder if it has dawned on the GOP & its voters yet that if almost ANYONE other than Donald Trump had received the nomination they’d likely be beating Hillary Clinton by a comfortable margin??

I’m onto you delivery guys…..

I’m single, live alone, & can be lazy. Therefore I probably eat out way too much, to the detriment of both my economic well-being and overall health. Drive-thrus & delivery are a godsend for guys like me. However, I have noticed a trend. Let’s say your pizza, salad, sandwich, orange chicken, or whatever kind of vittles you’ve ordered is going to cost $12-15. You hand the delivery person a $20 bill. Protocol would normally dictate that he/she begins to count out your change, at which time you either say “keep it” or return what you feel to be an appropriate tip. But I’ve run into a couple of sneaky ones who, upon being handed $20 for that $12-15 order simply ask “do you need change??”. Now I am perfectly aware that it is well within my rights to say yes and get my change back, but one of my weaknesses is that I am too nice, so the couple of times that this has occurred I’ve been caught off guard and simply say “no, that’s okay”. It is only afterward that it’s dawned on me that I’ve just given someone a freakin’ $5-8 tip for food that didn’t cost much more than that. Hey, I’m not naïve…from the delivery person’s perspective this is an ingenious ploy, and I can’t really blame them, especially when it works on suckers like me. There’s an old saying though…say it with me…”fool me once, shame on you…fool me twice, shame on me”. The sequel to that adage should be “there won’t be a third time”. Now that I’ve figured out the scam I’ll be sure to have exact change if at all possible from now on, and sadly I am likely to become far less generous with my tips. Sorry folks…I’m crazy, not stupid.

I may not watch very much late night television anymore, and most prime time shows are so tedious that I don’t even bother, but allow me to recommend one newcomer. I never watched a single second of Kiefer Sutherland’s popular 24, but I have quickly become hooked on his new show Designated Survivor. Sutherland portrays a milquetoast HUD Secretary who ascends to the Oval Office after the President, Vice President, and pretty much every other high ranking government official dies when the Capitol is bombed during the State of the Union speech. I see vague traces of The West Wing, a show I loved, with added elements of intrigue & action. Who committed the heinous act of terrorism?? Why?? Who can the new President really trust?? How in the world can he rebuild the federal government from nothing?? It’s not a perfect show. There have been some missteps, like the surprising reveal of a second designated survivor as well as a Congressman who survived the explosion and a little too much preachy emphasis on anti-Muslim sentiment. Much like The West Wing the show unmistakably leans left and paints conservatism with a disdainful broad brush, but thus far it continues to build layers of conspiratorial drama. I’m not sure we’ll be talking about Designated Survivor a decade from now or even in a couple of years, but it has my attention for now.

Points of Ponderation…..Episode 10.16

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

Commentary about NFL players would usually appear in the Winning & Musing feature, but recent events surrounding 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick and others who have joined his “protest” are bigger than sports. I have no issue with Kaepernick or anybody else sitting, kneeling, or doing whatever they wish during the playing of the national anthem, as they are well within their Constitutional rights to act however they want. Proponents of Constitutional principles who use the ol’ “America…love it or leave it” card are, in this case, contradicting themselves. Having said that, it is not a course of action that I would choose. I think the act is disrespectful and the stated purpose idiotic. It is clear to me that there are certain segments of society for whom no amount of “equality” or “fairness” will ever be good enough. Utopia is a myth. Our civilization will never be perfect. There are always going to be problems & injustices, but what matters is how we deal with issues. I prefer to address a situation and come up with practical solutions. Others choose to wallow in victimhood and engage in meaningless exhibitions of symbolic rage. It should be obvious which course of action is more effective.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not much of a hero. I don’t really enjoy rescuing people who don’t have their stuff together in the midst of a constantly chaotic life. I’d rather just do my thing and not be bothered. That doesn’t mean that I mind helping those in need. There IS a difference.

Have you ever wondered what the differences are between ice cream, gelato, sorbet, & sherbet?? Well never fear, I am here to educate as well as entertain…..

*Ice cream is made from milk, cream, sugar, & egg yolks. A traditional base consists of tempered egg yolks in milk, cooking the mixture until it develops a thick consistency. It is atleast 10% milk fat and churned at a high speed to create a light and airy texture.

*Gelato (the Italian word for ice cream) has more milk & less cream, and is churned at a much slower speed, resulting in a lower fat content and a creamier texture.

*Sherbet is a fruit-based dessert and typically contains about 1 or 2% milk fat.

*Sorbet is a dairy-free alternative made with fruit juice/purée and sugar.

And now you know. Personally I LOVE gelato but don’t care all that much for sherbet. I’m not sure I’ve ever had sorbet.

Call me old-fashioned, but I think one should wait until the divorce is final before flaunting a new relationship on social media.

As predicted FX’s miniseries The People vs. OJ Simpson scored a plethora of Emmy nominations, including acting nods for Cuba Gooding Jr., Sarah Paulson, & Courtney B. Vance. The rest of the nominations indicate just how little television I watch these days. I’ve never seen a single episode of apparently highly regarded shows like Game of Thrones, Better Call Saul, Downton Abbey, Homeland, House of Cards, Mr. Robot, The Americans, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, & Blackish. And I don’t feel like I’m missing anything. I couldn’t possibly care less.

Points of Ponderation…..Episode 9.16

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

Good point…..

For all you Pokemon Go fans out there. Sorry to rain on your parade.

I think I’m a hybrid neuro-poly reader.

Food for thought…..

I’m just gonna leave this right here.

Points of Ponderation…Episode 8.16

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

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Family, friends, & citizens of The Manoverse know that my relationship with the ol’ home state of West Virginia has been…ambivalent…at best. Not a day goes by that part of me doesn’t regret taking off for greener pastures while I was young & fearless, yet this is home and I am content to be near family, basking in a boring, uneventful, slow paced, Mayberry-esque way of life. Let me take this opportunity to say how proud I have been these past few weeks watching the people of WV rally around those affected by devastating floods. I have observed all kinds of businesses, churches, & other organizations collect donations and travel down to the flooded areas to distribute much needed food, clothing, & supplies. No one asked, and certainly no one forced these entities to put in the time & effort to help communities of strangers over 100 miles away, but they did it anyway because that’s how we roll here in The Mountain State. For the most part we’re not the wealthiest, most scholarly, thinnest, or sexiest population, but we understand what it is to be neighborly and take care of those less fortunate or facing tough times. Please continue to say an occasional prayer for the flood victims, and understand that their lives won’t magically be back to normal in a couple of weeks or months. Many people lost everything and don’t have a trust fund or hidden bank account in the Cayman Islands to buy new houses, clothes, automobiles, etc. I am sure there will be assistance available, but I’m also smart enough to know that it won’t be adequate. I can’t even fathom the devastation.

Unlike some I wasn’t the least bit surprised that the FBI decided not to indict Hillary Clinton. The outcome was expected, although I was a bit surprised by how foolish the powers-that-be made themselves look in the process. I wish I could be more optimistic, but more & more it feels like the fix may be in as it pertains to the 2016 Presidential election. The media has done a wonderful job glossing over Mrs. Clinton’s “imperfections” while amplifying Donald Trump’s liabilities, to the point that otherwise intelligent people sincerely believe that she is a better choice than him. However, just because the result of the “investigation” was anticipated doesn’t make it any less sad & frustrating. I’ve watched this country continue to dive further into the abyss on a daily basis the past several years, yet it continues to be an incredible process to witness.

Okay kids, it’s review time. I know I have kvetched about this before, but please allow me to educate as well as entertain. A person’s wheelchair is a very, very, very important piece of equipment. It’s more than just an apparatus…it’s a lifeline. So please…please…unless you honestly know what you are doing don’t try to “help” an experienced wheelchair user. I’m not talking about someone who broke their leg and might be stuck with crutches and/or a chair for a few weeks. I am referring to a person (like myself) who has a disability and therefore deals with stuff & situations on a daily basis. Do I sometimes need help?? Yes. And I have had to learn to put my pride on the shelf and accept assistance on occasion. There are times that I truly appreciate the kindness of others. Having said that, if I need help I will usually ask, or if someone really wants to be polite & supportive I hope they atleast ask first. Do NOT just come up to me, say “Here let me help you” and grab my wheelchair. Would you just walk up and latch onto someone’s private area?? Would you randomly fondle a stranger’s breasts?? Grabbing a person’s wheelchair is similarly offensive. What frequently happens to me is that people want to lift my chair into the extended cab of my truck. The problem is that’s not how it is done. I end up arriving at my next destination with my wheelchair brakes locked and having to twist myself into a pretzel to unlock them before I can easily back the chair out of the truck. Recently as I was leaving work I received some “help” from a lovely young lady. It was 7am and I was tired. The woman was being nice and she was kind of cute. I didn’t argue. Unfortunately…and hilariously…she somehow placed my chair into my truck completely upside down. I honestly have never seen that before, and the whole way home I just kept thinking “How in the heck am I going to get it out of there??”. Luckily it wasn’t as difficult as I feared, but it could have been a complete disaster. I’m glad that there are caring, neighborly folks in the world. There are times when I am very thankful for a helping hand. But exercise caution…ask yourself if you are really being useful, or if maybe…just maybe…you may be getting in the way.

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And that’s all I have to say about that.

I was so looking forward to the next Star Trek film, set to hit theaters in just a few weeks. But now I think I might just skip it. It has been made public that the character of Sulu will be an out-of-the-closet gay man in the movie, complete with child and male “partner”. It is obviously a nod to George Takei, who portrayed Sulu in the original Star Trek TV series and first six feature films and came out as gay several years ago. The issue is this…Sulu was never homosexual before. As a matter of fact he has been previously shown as having a wife & child. Now, it is true that the series was on television a half century ago, and it is also true that these new movies take place in an “alternate time line”. That’s all well & good…creative license & all that jazz. It is also said that in this new film, called Star Trek: Beyond, Sulu being gay is shown as no big deal, which is fine. However, I’m just not a fan of this movement toward PC appeasement in pop culture. Ghostbusters was remade simply to have an all-female cast. There is currently a TV version of the classic film Uncle Buck that features a black cast. Annie was remade awhile back with a black cast, as was Steel Magnolias. The same thing was done a few years ago with The Karate Kid. Harry Potter fans got their knickers twisted recently when a new stage play written by JK Rowling was cast and the adult version of Hermione Granger is now suddenly black. Rowling’s previous low class existence & mindset came roaring back when she whined that fans bothered by the casting choice must be racist. An Ocean’s Eleven reboot is in the works with an all female cast led by Sandra Bullock, although it might actually work because the lead character is allegedly the sister of George Clooney’s Danny Ocean, so atleast they are acknowledging the original (well okay…those films were remade from a 60’s Rat Pack film, but you get my drift). The revived Star Wars franchise seems to be back only so that Luke Skywalker…or a hero that is a close facsimile of him…can be a girl now. I’m not a comic book aficionado, but I am given to understand that Iron Man is now a teenage black girl, Spiderman is an hispanic dude, Thor is female, Ms. Marvel is Muslim, & Captain America is black. Such changes may be more organic in comic books though, especially if new characters take over the superhero role from someone who is now retired or dead. At any rate, people are already tired of Hollywood’s lack of originality, and it feels extra lazy to just recycle an idea with the big twist being that previously white/ heterosexual/male characters are now black, latino, gay, and/or female. Call me all the names you want…closeminded, bigoted, racist, misogynistic, homophobic…because that’s the playbook these days. Just know that I speak truth. I am sure that the powers-that-be pat themselves on the back for being inclusive and embracing diversity, but the fact is that instead of creating new stories with strong characters that are female, black, etc. they are simply putting a superficial façade on the treasured memories of the masses and giving insulting lip service to the issues they allegedly care so much about. Even George Takei thinks it’s stupid to make Sulu gay at this stage, fifty years into the character’s history…and of all people shouldn’t his opinion carry more than a little weight?? Anyway, I watch movies & TV and read books to escape from reality. Can’t we just enjoy a good story without being preached to and indoctrinated with ideology?? Is that too much to freaking ask?!?!?!??

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