Pop Culture

Where we’ll discuss movies, television, music, and whatever frosts my cupcake.

TAGS Episode Guide: Ranking (Not Quite) Every Episode of One of America’s Most Beloved TV Shows…The Top 25 – Part 1

I have made the decision to break down the Top 25 into two parts. I strive always to make these little productions of mine eminently readable but am all too aware that I occasionally get…carried away. At any rate, as we enter the hallowed ground of what I consider to be the very best episodes of TAGS my heart is filled with joy…because these stories were created in the first place, because decades after they stopped being made we can still enjoy them, because I have this forum that allows me to relive the memories and share my thoughts with the masses. As always, if you need to catch up with previous entries you may do so here, here, here, here, & here. Thanks for reading, and please stay tuned for the Top 10.

25 The Bank Job (S3E13)

Barney becomes amusingly obsessed with the idea that the bank is lacking in security & ripe pickings for a robbery. In order to prove his point he goes undercover as a cleaning lady and somehow manages to get himself locked in the bank vault. We are introduced to Gomer Pyle, who is recruited to torch open the vault to save Barney. The resourceful deputy escapes all by himself though, by busting thru the wall of the adjacent beauty salon. After all of that hullabaloo someone tries to rob the bank for real, and of course Barney (inadvertently) saves the day.

24 Citizen’s Arrest (S4E11)

Immediately after Barney cites Gomer for an illegal u-turn the dimwitted deputy does the same exact thing, prompting Gomer to make a citizen’s arrest. Andy tries to calm down the ensuing brouhaha by having Barney write himself a ticket, but he refuses to pay the fine, opting instead to lock himself in jail and eventually resign. When Gomer finds out from Opie how serious the situation has become he calls in a fake robbery hoping Barney will leap into action. The ruse works until Barney tickets Gomer again, this time for the false alarm. As Barney & Andy are leaving the filling station Barney once again makes a u-turn, eliciting a hilarious reaction by Gomer. At the end of the episode Andy puts Barney’s latest resignation in a file with previous ones, an amusing tip of the cap to what was a recurring joke within the show. Continuity isn’t a TAGS strength, and Barney’s length of service as a deputy changes multiple times. Here it is said that he’s had the job for ten years. Barney’s middle name also changes a few times.

23 The Manhunt (S1E2)

In only its second ever episode TAGS gives us a remarkable example of why it is so good. When an escaped convict is believed to be somewhere in the vicinity of Mayberry the state police arrive. However, they look down on Andy & Barney and refuse their assistance in apprehending the criminal. Andy & Barney decide to do their own investigation and, despite a hiccup or two, eventually lead the arrogant state cops right to the perp. There are really funny moments with Andy & Barney, as well as Opie, Otis Campbell (his first appearance), & Emma Watson (her first appearance). We also briefly meet Mayor Pike, see Barney’s mother for the first & last time, and find out that Barney carries only one bullet because he has a tendency to accidentally fire his gun at the floor. Andy being the smartest guy in the room despite others seeing him as merely the country bumpkin sheriff of a one horse town is a bedrock of the show.

22/21 Andy’s English Valet (S3E26) & The Return of Malcolm Merriweather (S4E28)

Many people of my generation may remember actor Bernard Fox as eccentric Dr. Bombay on Bewitched. However, my fondness for him stems from his memorable TAGS appearances as quirky Englishman Malcolm Merriweather. In Season 2 Malcolm is passing thru Mayberry on his bicycle and is employed to do some housework for Andy to pay off a fine he receives for causing an accident. It seems like a great plan at first since Aunt Bea is out of town taking care of her ill sister, but Malcolm ends up driving Andy nuts. In Season 4 Malcolm returns to Mayberry and Andy thinks it’d be a fine idea for him to help out around the house again to ease Aunt Bea’s burden. However, Aunt Bea, whose ego is almost as fragile as Barney’s, isn’t on board with that and Malcolm selflessly finds a way to get himself fired. Malcolm Merriweather would return one more time in Season 6 to hilariously tussle with Ernest T. Bass.

20 Barney Gets His Man (S1E30)

Barney decides to ticket a pedestrian for littering, unaware that he is a dangerous escaped convict. Spooked by the sudden appearance of the state police the criminal tries to run, but Barney inadvertently captures him, becoming a hero in the process. However, when word gets back that the perp has escaped again Barney becomes petrified that the guy is headed back to Mayberry for revenge. During yet another manhunt Andy decides to restore Barney’s confidence by covertly helping him re-capture the escapee. A car chase…rare in Mayberry…opens the episode.

19 The Loaded Goat (S3E18)

Some things could only happen in a small town. When farmer Cy Hudgins runs a few errands he decides to bring his goat Jimmy along. After being tied to a post just outside the courthouse Jimmy gets loose and is drawn to the sound of Barney playing the harmonica, but Barney runs him off. There is an underpass being built nearby, and frequent explosions are heard throughout the episode. Jimmy finds the building where the dynamite is being stored and eats some of it. Everyone freaks out because all the sudden this goat is an incendiary device that could cause a catastrophe at any minute. In the midst of everything Otis shows up and antagonizes the animal, which is h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s. Eventually Andy comes up with the idea of luring Jimmy out of town by having Barney play the harmonica. Tremendous stuff from Barney, Andy, & Otis. It is hinted that Wally from the filling station might be Mayor Pike’s brother, a storyline element that was never followed up on. I’m not an explosives expert, but I’d be willing to bet the central premise…the idea that the goat might explode…is probably far-fetched, but I can live with that.

18/17 The Guitar Player (S1E3) & The Guitar Player Returns (S1E31)

James Best is beloved by many for his portrayal of slightly unethical, cluelessly inept Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane on The Dukes of Hazzard. Way before that though he guest starred on a couple of outstanding Season 1 episodes of TAGS. In his first appearance Best portrays Jim Lindsey, a local musician who doesn’t understand how talented he really is. When Bobby Fleet & His Band with a Beat (a fantastic name) passes thru Mayberry Andy finds a way to get the band & Jim all in one place for an impromptu audition. After Jim is offered a spot in the band they all take off for their next gig. Jim returns to Mayberry seven months later (in real time anyway) a big star. He’s had a falling out with the band and become a solo act. Soon enough though suspicions are raised when Jim isn’t paying his bills. It turns out that he’s broke and is too proud to go crawling back to Bobby Fleet. As always Andy steps in to fix the problem. A couple of interesting notes. Fleet made three appearances in Mayberry (one more than Jim Lindsay ironically enough) and was portrayed by three different actors. Also, this episode marks the final appearance of Ellie Walker, who disappeared afterward, never to be heard from or spoken about again. I suppose my love for these two episodes owe an awful lot to my affection for James Best & The Dukes of Hazzard, and I’m alright with that.

16 Barney’s Uniform (S5E8)

Barney tickets another litterbug, this time an employee at the grocery store. The guy doesn’t appreciate the ticket and tells Barney that he is going to beat him up the next time he’s not on duty. As a solution Barney decides to wear his uniform all the time, which Andy finds strange. Character actor Allan Melvin makes his 7^th of eight TAGS appearances, this time playing the store clerk with a nasty attitude. As always Andy comes to the rescue by recruiting the local martial arts instructor to pose as Barney to scare off the bad guy. Barney always makes us laugh, but he also evokes a certain pathos, therefore he is extended some latitude that other cowards might not be given.

15 The Cow Thief (S3E5)

Cow theft is another quintessential small town problem that just endears Mayberry to us even more. After a rash of such robberies remains a mystery high strung Mayor Stoner brings in an investigator from the state capitol. Barney is at first alarmed & offended by the mayor’s actions, but ends up trying to kiss up to the investigator. Meanwhile, Andy becomes suspicious of local troublemaker Luke Jensen and decides to set a trap to catch him in the act. It turns out that Luke is putting shoes on the cows when leading them away. Andy figures out what the big city investigator couldn’t, a common theme throughout the series. There is a rather poignant moment when Barney decides to stand by Andy and ignore the mayor’s admonitions…a wise choice indeed.

14/13 Barney and the Choir (S2E20) & The Song Festers (S4E20)

I feel like these two episodes are often confused due to similar…and in some ways contradictory…storylines. In Season 2 Barney volunteers to sing in the town choir when they find themselves in need of a tenor. The problem is that Barney couldn’t carry a tune in a pickup truck. Choirmaster John Masters (an underutilized secondary character) enlists Andy’s help to force Barney out of the group, but everything they try hilariously backfires until Andy…as always…finds a unique way to solve the problem without hurting Barney’s feelings. I’d love for my church choir to do a rousing rendition of Welcome Sweet Springtime, aka good ol’ 14A. A couple of seasons later Barney is still in the choir, but despite being tone deaf he’s been tapped to perform a solo. That is until John Masters overhears Gomer Pyle singing to himself and gives him the solo. When Gomer finds out that Barney is heartbroken about losing the solo he fakes laryngitis, but the ruse is discovered and Barney, Gomer, & Andy end up singing the song Santa Lucia together as a trio.

12 The Haunted House (S4E2)

Opie & a pal accidentally lose a baseball in a local house that is allegedly haunted. When Andy gives Barney the task of retrieving the ball the anxious deputy tricks Gomer into going with him. Barney & Gomer together are comedy gold, but of course they are ineffective at getting the job done, so Andy decides that the three of them will head back to the old Rimshaw place to take a look around. Once there weird things happen, totally freaking out Barney & Gomer. It is eventually revealed that a local moonshiner is running a still out of the house, with the knowledge of our favorite drunkard Otis Campbell. Andy discovers the still at the end of the episode. To my recollection this is the only time TAGS ever did a quasi-Halloween-ish story, and it is said to have become the inspiration for one of Don Knotts’ better known films…1966’s The Ghost and Mr. Chicken.

11 Man in a Hurry (S3E16)

Businessman Malcolm Tucker’s car breaks down as he is passing thru Mayberry on his way to a big meeting in Charlotte. Unfortunately for him it’s Sunday, and Wally doesn’t work on Sundays. Gomer is at the filling station, but contrary to his alleged mechanical prowess a year later, here he is said to only know how to pump gas & inflate tires. Mr. Tucker becomes really frustrated and doesn’t understand Mayberry at all. He can’t even make a phone call on the party line because the Mendelbright sisters have it tied up all day. Andy graciously invites the exasperated businessman home for supper, and slowly the hospitality of the Taylors, Barney, & Gomer and the laidback pace of the town erode his defenses, helping him to relax just a bit. When Gomer brings his car back with a repaired fuel line (who fixed it…Gomer?? Goober?? Wally??) Mr. Tucker decides to stick around by pretending there is something else wrong with the vehicle. This is an episode that perfectly sums up what Mayberry is and who its citizens are. It makes one want desperately, especially thru the prism of our modern broken society, to find such a community and settle down there forever. Sadly we understand that to be an impossible dream, which is why we still watch TAGS a half century after it stopped production.

TAGS Episode Guide: Ranking (Not Quite) Every Episode of One of America’s Most Beloved TV Shows…Part 5

Annnnd we’re back. I apologize for the nearly three month hiatus. I suppose I got caught up in focusing on football & the holidays and just kind of put this project on the backburner. If you need to catch up go to Part 4 and you’ll find links to Parts 1-3. At any rate, I ran some numbers. I was curious about the relative popularity/success of each of the first five seasons of The Andy Griffith Show, atleast thru the prism of these rankings.

*It turns out that Season 3 is the tops, with an average ranking of 67.13, including nine episodes in the Top 25 (four of those in the Top 10). The best three episodes in that season have an average ranking of 4.33, while my least favorite three episodes average a 141.33 ranking.

*The first season is next, with an average ranking of 74.06, including six Top 25 episodes (two in the Top 10). My favorite three episodes in Season 1 score an average ranking of 10.33, while the worst three average a 148 ranking.

*Third place…by a very narrow margin…goes to Season 4 with an average ranking of 74.81, including five episodes in the Top 25 (one in the Top 10). The best three episodes in that season have an average ranking of 9, while the bottom three episodes average a ranking of 150.66.

*Next is Season 2, with an average ranking of 83.13, including four Top 25 episodes (three in the Top 10). My favorite three episodes in that season average a ranking of 6, while the three least favorite episodes average out to a ranking of 153.66. Season 2 seems to be really inconsistent.

*And driving the proverbial caboose is Season 5, with an average ranking of 99.84. It only has one Top 25 episode and none in the Top 10. The best three episodes have an average ranking of 29, and the worst have an average ranking of 153.

TAGS produced about 32 episodes per season (only 31 were made in season 2, and the final three seasons…which we aren’t dealing with here…produced only 30 each year), and I discovered a couple of interesting things. First of all, two season openers rank in my Top 10, and three other episodes which were either the 2^nd or 3^rd episodes of their respective seasons rank in my Top 25. I guess the folks in Mayberry came back from their summer vacation on top of their game. Also, three episodes that were the 11^th show of the season rank in my Top 25 (two of those in the Top 10). I have no idea what kind of significance should be assigned to that, but I find it fascinating.

50 High Noon in Mayberry (S3E17)

Andy receives a vague letter from a man who he sent to prison, saying that he’s out of jail & coming to Mayberry. As usual Barney completely overreacts, enlisting Gomer & Otis to help him guard Andy 24/7. As it turns out, the ex-con isn’t out for revenge…he actually wants to thank Andy for helping turn his life around. The triple threat combo of Barney, Gomer, & Otis is really funny.

49 Andy’s Vacation (S4E22)

Andy is stressed out and decides to take a staycation at home. Unfortunately the good people of Mayberry won’t stop pestering him, so he goes camping. But that doesn’t work either, as Barney & Gomer continually hunt Andy down seeking help with problems that arise. And then Andy meets up with & captures an escaped convict, basically rendering his vacation useless. I’ve said it before and I have to reiterate…Barney is funny, Gomer is funny, but Barney & Gomer together are comedy gold.

48 The Keeper of the Flame (S2E14)

Opie & his pals start a secret society and he is made “Keeper of the Flame”, which means he is in charge of the candle used at each meeting. When the barn the boys have been gathering in burns down Opie is accused of starting the fire. Andy is prepared to pay the farmer damages, but Barney hilariously discovers…by accidentally getting snockered…that the farmer has been making moonshine and inadvertently burned down his own barn. Interesting trivia – the actor portraying the farmer wrote the lyrics to The Fishin’ Hole, which is the title of the TAGS theme song. Yes, there are lyrics!!

47 Andy Saves Gomer (S4E23)

When Gomer falls asleep at the filling station a barrel of oily rags catches fire. Andy drops by and puts out the blaze, and Gomer blows the whole thing up into Andy saving his life. Gomer dedicates his life to repaying his debt to Andy but ends up driving the entire Taylor family crazy. Of course the sheriff is smarter than anybody else in Mayberry and eventually discovers a way to convince Gomer that they are even. This episode features the return of Floyd the Barber, who hadn’t been seen in about a year after actor Howard McNear had suffered a stroke. Keen fans can pretty easily spot the differences in the character before & after the unfortunate health crisis.

46 Crime-Free Mayberry (S2E7)

Mayberry’s sterling reputation is always a doubled-edged sword. Criminals assuming the small town is an easy score is a recurring theme over the years. In this instance Mayberry has been recognized & rewarded for having the lowest crime rate in the country. Two crooks posing as an FBI agent & a reporter show up looking to take advantage of the situation and rob the bank. There is some really funny stuff with Barney & Otis, and Andy is able to outsmart the bad guys as usual.

45 Andy and Opie’s Pal (S4E14)

When Andy befriends Opie’s pal Trey it doesn’t sit well with the younger Taylor, who becomes jealous & petulant…definitely not a good look for the cute little tyke. The sheriff then decides to use Barney to teach the boy a lesson. Episodes that focus on the father/son relationship between Andy & Opie are some of my favorites.

44 Opie and the Bully (S2E1)

Andy must decide what to do when he discovers a bully is repeatedly taking Opie’s lunch money. Opie is too embarrassed to tell him about it and Barney wants to intervene, but the sheriff believes it’d be better for Opie to handle it himself. Of course he gives the boy a nudge in the right direction by relating a story about being bullied when he was a kid. Opie eventually stands up to the bully, getting a black eye in the process, but ultimately ending the ongoing battle.

43 Aunt Bea’s Medicine Man (S3E24)

A traveling “medicine” man peddling miracle elixir grabs Aunt Bea’s attention. Of course he’s not really selling any kind of miracle…he’s getting folks snockered on hooch. Aunt Bea gooned out of her mind and singing her sweet little heart out while tickling the ivories is one of the funniest things one will ever see on TAGS. She even gets her lady friends from church smashed and Andy tosses them all in jail!! The sheriff figures out the scam pretty quickly and eventually arrests the shyster, but not before hilarity ensues.

42 The Bookie Barber (S2E28)

A stranger wanders in and entices Floyd with the idea of having a two chair barber shop. Since he’s been busier than usual lately Floyd jumps on the idea. However, we soon find out that the new barber is a bookie using Floyd’s establishment as a front for his gambling operation. Andy puts bits & pieces together and realizes what is going on, but he has to go out of town and assures Barney that they’ll take care of the problem when he gets back to Mayberry. Of course the well-intentioned but ham-fisted deputy decides to take matters into his own hands…by going into the shop incognito as a little old lady. Fortunately Andy arrives just in time to save Barney’s bacon. Barney dresses in drag multiple times over the years and it’s always hilarious.

41 Opie’s Charity (S1E8)

Andy is disappointed in Opie for giving so little to a charity drive…until he learns the reason. It turns out that the youngster is saving money to buy a needy friend a coat. In an amusing subplot Andy runs into a man everyone thinks is dead but it turns out that he just left his wife because she’s an irritating nag. Andy underestimating Opie happens multiple times thru the series, and it’s always heartwarming to see the sheriff humbled when he realizes he’s wrong. We’ve all been there, right??

40 The Sermon for Today (S4E4)

Mayberry wouldn’t seem to be a town in need of a sermon about relaxing & enjoying life, but when a visiting preacher delivers that message it turns out that it is indeed a lesson the townsfolk need to learn. An effort to put the minister’s words into effect takes a wrong turn, evolving into everyone rushing around trying to put together a band concert. Fans of the soap opera General Hospital might recognize the preacher, portrayed by actor David Lewis, who played wealthy patriarch Edward Quartermaine on GH from 1978-93.

39 If I Had a Quarter Million Dollars (S5E22)

Barney finds $250,000 from a recent bank robbery. Andy calls the FBI, who indicates that they’ll send an agent to retrieve the money. Of course Barney is Barney and he decides to launch an investigation and try to draw out the thief. So you have a potential appearance by a thief and an FBI agent coming to town, with dimwitted & overzealous Barney in the middle of the action. We know where this is headed, right??

38 Wedding Bells for Aunt Bea (S2E26)

After busybody Clara convinces Aunt Bea that Andy can’t move on with his life and get remarried until Bea finds a husband, our favorite old maid reluctantly responds to the flirtations of slovenly dry cleaner Fred Goss. For some reason finding Aunt Bea & Andy spouses is an obsession on TAGS, and in this episode Andy is talking about Aunt Bea getting hitched to Mr. Goss really soon after they begin dating. Of course Aunt Bea isn’t interested in Goss at all, a fact that Andy eventually realizes. Fred Goss is a quirky minor character, the kind that really fleshes out our fond impression of Mayberry. Also worth noting is the second & last ever mention of Opie’s deceased mother, and the fact that we learn that Otis has his own key to the courthouse.

37 TV or Not TV (S5E23)

Andy gains some widespread notoriety after a magazine article about him, entitled Sheriff Without a Gun, is published. Three strangers come to town saying they are Hollywood producers interested in doing a television show based on Andy, which gets Barney all excited. Not all is as it seems though, and Andy eventually discovers that the threesome are thieves who think Mayberry’s bank is an easy target (an assumption others made during TAGS’ run). The Sheriff Without a Gun story would be the launching point for a four episode arc in Season 6 in which the Taylors visit Hollywood where a movie based on the magazine article is being made. An interesting fact: Gavin MacCleod, who would go on to fame in the 70’s & 80’s as Murray Slaughter on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Captain Stubing on The Love Boat, made two TAGS appearances. The first was in this episode as one of the crooks, and the second was in one of the Hollywood episodes as the actor portraying Andy in the Sheriff Without a Gun film.

36 Opie’s Rival (S3E10)

I’ve gone on record with my opinion that county nurse Peggy McMillan, who appeared in four episodes, is one of my favorites amongst Andy’s girlfriends. Here, in what would be her final appearance, Opie becomes jealous of all the time Andy is spending with Peggy and makes efforts to torpedo the relationship. Of course deep down Opie is a good kid and ultimately tells Andy the truth. Andy doesn’t get angry but has a very empathetic conversation with the boy. I read somewhere that the powers-that-be dropped Peggy because they believed the actor and/or character was too glamorous, which would explain why the dowdy & decidedly unappealing Helen Crump eventually settled in as Andy’s permanent significant other.

35 The Beauty Contest (S1E16)

Founder’s Day is a big deal in Mayberry. The townsfolk celebrate it more during the run of the show than Christmas!! In this case Andy is tapped to judge a pageant as part of the celebration and feels pressured to make multiple people…from Mayor Pike to his own son Opie…happy by picking their particular candidate. His girlfriend…Ellie Walker…is even entered in the competition. Though Andy stresses out about the situation he eventually makes the right decision, choosing an elderly lady who did a lot of work organizing the event. Episodes like this showcase the quirky but loveable community that has made Mayberry one of the most beloved of all fictional towns.

34 Barney’s Physical (S5E2)

The state sets up new rules concerning the physical requirements to be a law enforcement officer. Barney is too short & thin, and thus believes he is about to lose his job. However, Aunt Bea decides that she can fatten him up a bit and Andy comes up with a uniquely funny way to stretch him out to the proper height. Alas, at zero hour Barney hasn’t gained enough weight…until Andy figures out a hilarious loophole. The length of Barney’s law enforcement career varies throughout the series, but in this episode he is said to have been the deputy for five years (meaning he was brand new to the job when the show began).

33 Andy Saves Barney’s Morale (S1E20)

I feel like the title of this episode could have been used about a dozen times in the first five seasons since Andy propping up Barney’s fragile ego is a recurring theme. In this instance Andy leaves the deputy in charge while he goes out of town for the day (Andy sure does take a lot of day trips). Upon returning Andy is pleased to find the streets of Mayberry even quieter than usual…until he discovers that it is because Barney has arrested practically the entire town, including Mayor Pike and Aunt Bea, for various lame reasons. After Andy dismisses every case Barney becomes a laughingstock and decides to quit (also a recurring theme), but Andy uses reverse psychology to get citizens to rally around the despondent deputy so he’ll get back on the job.

32 Opie and His Merry Men (S4E12)

While playing Robin Hood in the woods just outside of town Opie and his pals befriend a hobo and begin stealing food from their houses to feed the poor guy. As it turns out the man is a slothful con artist taking advantage of the children’s naiveté, using their innocent understanding of Robin Hood to encourage them to steal and paint Andy as a villainous sheriff. Andy has to trick the bum into revealing his deception in order to convince the boys of the truth.

31 Those Gossipin’ Men (S1E15)

When Barney cuts himself cleaning his gun Aunt Bea, Clara, & Emma Watson start gossiping and somehow the story spreads thru town that Barney got shot. Andy teases the ladies about gossip so they decide to teach him the lesson that men are as guilty of it as women. She sneakily gets Andy to believe in & proliferate the idea that a downtrodden shoe salesmen visiting Mayberry is a talent scout for a TV show. Multiple townsfolk show up at the poor guy’s hotel room to “order shoes” and clandestinely audition. It is only as the man is leaving that Andy realizes that he really is a shoe salesman and that the joke is on him. This episode is a shining example of what makes Mayberry such a treasured place, full of peculiar characters and wholesome charm.

30 Barney and the Governor (S3E15)

While in full law & order mode Barney tickets a limo that parks in a No Parking zone. It turns out that it’s the governor’s vehicle, so Barney becomes convinced he’s about to lose his job, especially when the governor himself tells Andy & a stressed out Mayor Stoner that he’s coming to Mayberry. In reality the governor just wants to praise Barney for upholding the law, but in true TAGS fashion the blundering deputy doesn’t know that. Things are further complicated when both Barney & the mayor inadvertently become intoxicated before the governor’s visit. The uptight Mayor Stoner is a great addition, and it’s a shame he was only around during Season 3. Drunk Barney is always a fun gag. One thing I have never understood about this episode is why the governor’s chauffer (portrayed by Ron Howard’s father Rance) was driving thru Mayberry without the governor in the first place.

29 Ellie Saves a Female (S1E27)

After local tomboy Frankie Flint comes into Walker’s Drug Store and looks longingly at some cosmetics, Ellie becomes hellbent & determined to give her some products for a makeover. Andy tries to talk her out of it knowing the idea won’t go over at all with her brusque father, but Ellie won’t give up even after an initial rejection by Mr. Flint. She enlists Barney’s help in covertly bringing Frankie back to town to get all dolled up. When Andy takes the young lady back home after she’s been beautified the farmer doesn’t even recognize her. Andy proceeds to use his infamous Jedi mind tricks to convince the man that it’d be more practical for his daughter to use her female charms to attract a husband. All’s well that ends well.

28 Barney and the Cave Rescue (S4E13)

Andy, Helen, Barney, & Thelma Lou go on a picnic. Barney is bummed out after being teased all over town for mistakenly trying to arrest the bank president for breaking into the bank, so he decides to sulk with Thelma Lou by his side while Andy & Helen go exploring in a nearby cave. When Andy & Helen become trapped inside the cave Barney rallies the townsfolk for a search & rescue mission. Things don’t go exactly as planned, but Andy finds a way to make Barney look like a hero anyway.

27 The Horse Trader (S1E14)

The town council assigns Andy & Barney the task of selling an old worn out Civil War cannon, but they can’t even give it away. When an antiques dealer rolls thru town Andy sees a great opportunity and…embellishes…the history of the cannon. Ellie & Barney are horrified by Andy’s dishonesty, and when Opie emulates his father’s tactics to score a pair of roller skates the sheriff sees the error of his ways. The father/son interaction is perfect as always, and both Barney & Ellie have some funny moments.

26 Gomer the House Guest (S4E6)

Gomer gets fired from Wally’s Filling Station because he likes to talk too much instead of actually working (we’ve all known people like that). The bigger issue is that he lived in a room attached to the station so now he’s homeless. Andy graciously offers to let Gomer stay at the Taylor house until he can find something more permanent, but that turns out to be a hysterical mistake. Gomer is used to living alone, which means he stays up late & does noisy chores at odd hours, and since he’s no longer at the station customers pop by late at night wanting him to diagnose what’s wrong with their vehicle. Andy, Aunt Bea, & Opie grow weary and don’t get enough sleep so they begin to turn on each other. Sheriff Taylor finally becomes fed up and decides to talk to Wally, convincing him that Gomer’s personality helps the station be successful. Wally rehires Gomer & all is well. There’s no Barney, and the continuity is a bit off since Gomer had previously been shown to know nothing about automobiles except how to pump gas, but those are minor flaws in an otherwise excellent episode.

The Sammy Claus Wish List 2016

Greetings friends, and a very Merry Christmas. Welcome to our SEVENTH Wish List. I cannot believe that we’ve been carrying on this tradition for that long!! After an unavoidable hiatus a year ago due to medical issues it has filled my heart with immeasurable joy to be able not only to delight in what the holiday season has to offer in my small corner of the world, but also to once again write about related subjects here at The Manofesto. Since it’s been awhile let me remind you how this works. Being Sammy Claus is a mostly ceremonial position that I have bestowed upon myself. I wield no actual power to see that the entities mentioned here receive the suggested gifts. However, I’d like to believe that The Jolly Old Elf himself occasionally peruses this site and may take my submissions to heart. I try my best not to be petty or meanspirited, but let’s face it…there are a lot of folks out there on The Naughty List, and it seems to be overflowing this year. There is cause for optimism though, especially at Christmastime. After all, if a mean old malcontent like Ebenezer Scrooge can see the error of his ways or a mischievous creature like The Grinch can have his heart grow three sizes when he realizes the true meaning of Christmas then there is hope for anybody, right??

The Trump Administration

best of luck in making America great again…I am cautiously optimistic

Colin Kaepernick

a recording of The Star Spangled Banner on an endless loop

Kim Kardashian

a long vacation in Paris

The American Flag

more respect from the masses…not for the cloth itself, but what it stands for

The Chicago Cubs

another World Series title…in 2124

The United Kingdom

best wishes enjoying your newfound freedom from Europe

David S. Pumpkins

a feature film

The Clothes Pin Brigade

Medication. Seriously, if you have a clothes pin as your profile photo on social media you are mentally ill. And I thought The Ribbon People were obnoxious.

Joy Behar & Whoopi Goldberg

lobotomies

Late Night TV

less politics, more class

The Supreme Court

a new justice that respects The Constitution

Martin Sheen

Expulsion from the self-righteous moral high ground. Seriously dude…you raised Charlie Sheen. If you think America is screwed up look in the damn mirror first.

The Cleveland Browns

atleast one win in 2017 & a boatload of players & picks for the #1 overall draft choice that should absolutely be traded

Hillary Rodham Clinton

shatterproof glass & a big lump of coal

Driverless Automobile Technology

success…I am intrigued

Hamilton

curtains

Samsung Phone Users

a fireproof suit

North Carolina

exponential population growth

Super Bowl LI

a better halftime show than its predecessor

Melania Trump

new speechwriters

College Students

less safe spaces, coddling, & leftist indoctrination, more practical education that’ll prepare productive citizens to function in the real world

Barack & Michelle Obama

hope & change

Bruce Jenner

counseling

NJ Governor Chris Christie

lip balm & knee pads

Tiger Woods

a successful comeback…it’s time to forgive & move forward

Per established custom I shall end with the traditional quote from the Rankin-Bass animated classic Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town:

“Lots of unhappiness? Maybe so. But doesn’t Santa take a little bit of that unhappiness away? Doesn’t a smile on Christmas morning scratch out a tear cried on a sadder day? Not much maybe. But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give…of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa’s beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men.”

Superfluous 7: Worst Christmas Songs

I love Christmas. Everything except the cold & snow. I especially love Christmas carols. I have been disappointed this year because the local radio station that used to play Christmas songs 24/7 for most of December has apparently decided not to do so anymore. Bummer. The good thing is that, due to technology, I can pretty much listen to whatever Christmas songs I want whenever the mood strikes. Several years ago we did a little review of some of the best Christmas tunes out there, but let’s be honest…they aren’t all gems. Just like any other form of entertainment one must occasionally endure the bad while enjoying the good. I am fully aware that some may disagree with the opinions I express, and that’s fine. Fortunately this is a light enough topic that I think we can have some fun back & forth, so don’t hesitate to tell me if you actually like the songs I list here, and also what Christmas songs you don’t particularly enjoy. With that in mind, The Manofesto joyfully presents…..

from the home office in Humbug, AZ…..

The Superfluous 7 Worst Christmas Songs:

7 Little Drummer Boy

I’m probably going to get some grief for this one. Written in 1941 by an American composer & music teacher, the song tells the story of a young boy who goes to see the baby Jesus. The kid is poor and has no gifts to offer except his talent for playing the drums. That’s cool. I get it. I understand the point behind the song…I just don’t care for it. I think it’s all that “rum pum pum pum” stuff. I need real lyrics. Despite the uplifting theme of the story the music is written in such a way that I find it to be kind of a downer. Your mileage may vary.

6 I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

Nothing says Christmas like catching your mother cheating on Dad with Santa Claus. Written in 1952, the song was recorded by a 13 year old boy and has been a staple of the Christmas season ever since. I just don’t know why. Look, I’m a fun guy. I rather enjoy a good novelty song. I’m okay with the fact that not EVERY Christmas movie or song has to have ultra-religious connotations. And I realize that this tune is kind of a wink wink nod nod to the fact that (spoiler alert) the kid’s father IS Santa Claus. However, I still find it just a little bit creepy.

5 All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth

The kid that sings this should get together with Hermie the Elf from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Hermie wanted to be a dentist and this kid wants his teeth…perfect symmetry. The guy that wrote the song in 1944 was a music teacher whose class full of second graders apparently had a lot of teeth missing. One just never knows when or how inspiration will strike. I suppose many people find the song to be cute & catchy. I just think it’s annoying.

4 Christmas Shoes

Oh boy…I’m going to catch it now. This is a tune that seems to strike a chord with really churchy types. Not necessarily genuine followers of Christ, but rather the folks that tend to make a pompous show of their religiosity. The song tells the story of a young boy in the checkout line at a retail store on Christmas Eve. He wants to buy shoes for his mother, who is apparently on her death bed, but he doesn’t have the money to pay for them. Fortunately the singer of the song is a good dude and he volunteers to pay for the shoes so the kid’s mother can die happy and in style. Oh. My. God. Just shoot me now. First of all, the singer couldn’t carry a tune in a pickup truck. Secondly, the little boy needs to read his Bible. Jesus doesn’t care if you’re wearing nice shoes when you arrive at The Pearly Gates. If Mom is dying shouldn’t the kid be home spending precious moments with her instead of schlepping around WalMart on Christmas Eve?? How did the kid get to the store?? Is Dad out in the car waiting for him, and if so who is home with the sick mother?!?!?!?? I know a lot of folks probably think this song is really sweet. Conversely, it makes me want to vomit.

3 Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

It’s the Redneck Christmas Anthem!! I know, I know…it’s just silly fun. But really, is someone’s grandmother getting killed by Rudolph on Christmas Eve something to have a jolly good chuckle about?? Not only that, but Grandma was gooned on eggnog when she was trampled and on Christmas Day, while everyone else is in mourning, Grandpa is acting as if everything is just fine while he throws back a few cold brewskis. Now I realize that not everyone has the same awesome family experiences as I have been blessed to have, but the idea that someone’s grandparents are a couple of lushes doesn’t feel like an appropriate idea to laugh about. Look, I’m one of those people who thinks of Die Hard as a Christmas movie, so I’m not hellbent on everything associated with Christmas necessarily having to be warm & fuzzy, but this song…I just can’t.

2 Happy Christmas (War Is Over)

I’m just going to throw this out there – The Beatles are the most overrated band in the history of rock n’ roll. Yes, I said it. I went there. They certainly have some catchy & memorable tunes, and there’s no denying that Lennon & McCartney were talented songwriters, but I’ve never really understood the hype. Perhaps I’m just a decade or two too young. At any rate, Lennon wrote this song in 1971, after he let his wife Yoko Ono break up the band, as a protest against the Vietnam War. While I am not really the hippie radical protest type I recognize anyone’s right to engage in such activities, and I understand the power of music in relaying a message. I just don’t believe that a Christmas song is an appropriate way to utilize the bully pulpit. A very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Let’s hope it’s a good one without any fear. And so this is Christmas, for weak and for strong, for rich and the poor ones the world is so wrong. Wow, what uplifting lyrics!! Okay okay…I understand…this song is a product of its time, an era that preceded my birth. What I can’t wrap my head around is why it still gets so much play every December four decades later. It’s mind boggling.

1 Do They Know It’s Christmas?

Celebrity types seem to have an odd fetish for assisting Africa. It’s true that The Great Commission in The Bible instructs Christians to “go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you”, but since the aforementioned celebrities rarely seem to example Christ most any other time you’ll have to forgive my skepticism when it comes to them throwing bucket loads of cash at African nations while treating fellow Americans with arrogant disdain. At any rate, back in 1984 singer Bob Geldof gathered a few of his friends…Bono from U2, Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran, Phil Collins, Boy George, Kool without his Gang, & a bunch of others you’ve never heard of…and formed Band Aid. They recorded this song to benefit famine relief in Ethiopia, which is, despite my mocking, a nice thing to do. But the song…the lyrics…wow. Again, not really the kind of inspiration one typically enjoys when listening to Christmas music. It’s hard, but when you’re having fun there’s a world outside your window, and it’s a world of dread and fear where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears, and the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom. If George Bailey would’ve listened to this back in Bedford Falls not even Clarence could have prevented him from jumping off of that bridge.

Superfluous 7 Best Thanksgiving Pop Culture Traditions

Christmas gets all the really cool stuff…carols, movies, animated specials, Santa Claus. But there are a few pop culture contributions to Thanksgiving, and I’m not even talking about food. Thanksgiving’s origins were actually just as faith-based as Christmas & Easter, but not directly tied to any particular event like the birth or resurrection of Christ. Multiple days of Thanksgiving were occasionally proclaimed by whatever authority figure might be ostensibly in charge of an area to thank God for His favor & bountiful harvest. That’s neither here nor there though, because our purpose today is not to dive into the debatable history of the holiday. Maybe some other time. Over the years much of the spiritual gravitas has been eroded, replaced by the simple yet universal desire to appreciate the blessings of family & food. Along with that other modest traditions have blossomed, mostly frivolous fun but not completely without meaning. We take comfort in tradition, in events that happen each year like clockwork no matter what kind of madness might surround us. I’d be thrilled to see folks get back to the more pious roots of Thanksgiving, and we can each do that on an individual basis. However I do admittedly enjoy some of the more lighthearted peripherals associated with the holiday. It is in that spirit that I present…..

from the home office in Pilgrim, MI…..

The Superfluous 7 Best Thanksgiving Pop Culture Traditions:

7 Home for the Holidays

Why are families in holiday movies always so unhappy & dysfunctional?? I’m not sure it is always what I would consider funny, but it’s usually entertaining in a professional wrestling kind of way. This 1995 offering serves us an all-star cast including Holly Hunter, Robert Downey Jr., Anne Bancroft, & Clare Danes. Hunter stars as a recently downsized art restoration specialist going home to spend Thanksgiving with her peculiar family, including a stodgy sister & brother-in-law, a gay brother, & crazy parents. Did you know that the actress who portrays the weird aunt is the daughter of Charlie Chaplin?? To be honest more kudos should be given to the casting director than anyone else involved with the film, and cocaine probably deserves a tip of the cap for Downey’s frenzied performance. I’m not sure Home for the Holidays is particularly remarkable in the grand cinematic universe or even amongst holiday fare, but it’s entertaining enough.

6 Miracle on 34^th St.

I struggled a bit with this choice because it’s a Christmas movie and our present mission is all about Thanksgiving. I’ve said for years that Thanksgiving is almost treated dismissively, like a pit stop on the way to something bigger & better. However, the link between the two holidays and the fact that they bookend a month long celebratory season cannot be denied. This 1947 classic in which Santa Claus is “put on trial” opens with a unique look at a certain annual parade that just so happens to take place on Thanksgiving Day. For that reason it is often the first Christmas movie I watch. A couple of things should be noted. First of all there are two versions of the original movie…the black & white edition and a hideously colorized copy. Y’all can do whatever makes you happy, but when I see the colorized film on TV I just keep channel surfing. What can I say…I’m a traditionalist. Also, a remake was made in 1994 starring the lovely Elizabeth Perkins and I have nothing bad to say about it except that it’s a remake. Watch them both if you like, but definitely do not overlook the original in lieu of its modernized rehash. One is a perfectly tasty hamburger, while the other is flawless filet mignon.

5 A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

It’s probably third on the list of beloved Peanuts animated specials, but that’s okay. Originally aired back in 1973, the story follows Charlie Brown & Snoopy as they prepare a Thanksgiving “feast” that they’ve been roped into hosting by Peppermint Patty and her “friend” Marcy. The dinner hilariously consists of popcorn, toast, pretzels, jelly beans, & ice cream sundaes, which sounds like a meal I might have consumed after a few late nights back in college. All’s well that ends well though, as all the kids end up hopping in the ol’ Brown family station wagon and heading to Grandma’s house for an actual meal. I am always intrigued by the complete lack of adults in the Peanuts world. They are there, but we never see them.

4 Turkeys Away!!

Practically every television program ever produced has aired Thanksgiving themed episodes, but very few are memorable beyond its initial airing or stand out in the canon of the show itself. This is an exception. I have opined previously that WKRP in Cincinnati is an underrated show, but among its four seasons one episode has stood the test of time. Originally aired on October 30^th, 1978, Turkeys Away was only the 7^th episode of Season 1. That’s like hitting your life’s peak in grade school!! The story follows station manager Mr. Carlson’s idea for the greatest Thanksgiving radio promotion of all time. The entire cast is fantastic, but special recognition must go to Richard Sanders as austere yet clueless news anchor Les Nessman. To my knowledge Sanders was never even nominated for an Emmy, which is criminal. If you are so inclined the show is easily found online, or if you have a streaming device on your TV it is available there as well.

3 Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

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There are very few Thanksgiving films out there, but even if there were alot more I have to believe this would still be the best. John Candy & Steve Martin are a match made in cinematic heaven, carrying what is essentially the kind of buddy/road trip flick that has been done many times over (The Blues Brothers, Rain Man, Dumb & Dumber, Tommy Boy, Sideways, The Hangover) to a higher level. It doesn’t hurt that the film was written, produced, & directed by the incomparable John Hughes. Planes, Trains, & Automobiles subtly & hilariously makes the point that, unlike other holidays when we may get caught up in…stuff…like presents, chocolate, roses, fireworks, or parties, the primary goal for most of us on Thanksgiving is to be somewhere we consider home, amongst family & friends.

2 NFL Football

Pro football has been played on Thanksgiving since the sport’s earliest days in the late 19^th century. The first Thanksgiving football game took place in Philadelphia on Thanksgiving Day of 1869, only a couple of weeks after Rutgers beat Princeton in what most still say was the first American football game and only six years after President Lincoln declared Thanksgiving a federal holiday in 1863. The Detroit Lions have hosted a game each season since 1934, and the Dallas Cowboys began their own tradition in 1966. In the past decade a third game has been added to the mix since Thursday night football became a regular part of the NFL schedule. College football is part of the Thanksgiving recipe, but since conference realignment has eliminated some of the best rivalries the impact has been reduced, and regardless of that fact the really big games are usually saved for Saturday. Sure it’s still Thanksgiving Weekend…but it’s NOT Thanksgiving.

1 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

Macy’s Department Store was founded in 1843 by a Massachusetts Quaker. A couple of decades later he relocated the store to New York City. A century & a half later, thru mergers, bankruptcies, buyouts, & all the other maneuverings that occur in corporate America Macy’s has nearly 800 stores, but the New York City location has stood tall as the largest department store in the world, taking up over 1 million square feet of space and an entire NY City block. Macy’s acquired a Newark, NJ store called Bamberger’s in 1924 and decided to move its Thanksgiving parade to The Big Apple. The parade’s origins are said to have come from store employees, many of whom were immigrants that wanted to celebrate their new home country, and what’s more uniquely American than Thanksgiving?? Of course it doesn’t take a genius to see the connection between a retail establishment and the kickoff of the big Christmas shopping season as well, which is why this Thanksgiving tradition always ends with the appearance of Santa Claus. The parade was first broadcast on national television by CBS in 1948, although it had been on local TV a few times before that. NBC has shown the parade annually since 1952. From the huge cartoon character balloons (Mickey Mouse, Popeye, Superman, Woody Woodpecker) to the marching bands to the badly lipsynched songs by whatever pop artists are in vogue that year it’s all very old-fashioned & kind of peculiar, but in a good way. Parades are a unique slice of Americana, and this is the biggest parade on perhaps our most singular holiday.

TAGS Episode Guide: Ranking (Not Quite) Every Episode of One of America’s Most Beloved TV Shows…Part 4

Welcome back!! If you haven’t already done so please go back and check out Parts 1, 2, & 3.

I want to take a moment to address an elephant in the room.

Obviously with this project we are ranking only episodes in the first five seasons of TAGS. It’s not that I don’t enjoy some things from the last few years of the show. There are quite a few entertaining episodes, such as Malcolm at the Crossroads when Englishman Malcolm Merriweather tangles with Ernest T. Bass. Or Aunt Bea on TV, when Aunt Bea wins a bunch of prizes on a game show and becomes a bit too haughty about it. And how about The Battle of Mayberry, when Opie researches a famous Revolutionary War skirmish & exposes the hidden truth, or Opie’s Piano Lesson, when the boy has to decide between piano lessons & football. There are also a few return visits from Barney Fife, episodes that snagged Don Knotts two additional Emmy Awards. Having said all that, it is undeniable that TAGS lost a lot of its magic when Knotts departed his regular role and the show switched to color technology, events that happened to coincide. When I am channel surfing and run across a black & white episode I almost always stop and watch. If it’s a color episode?? Well…then it’s a tossup. Maybe I’ll watch, maybe I won’t. Your mileage may vary and that’s okay.

75 Back to Nature (S4E31)

Andy, Barney, & Gomer take Opie and some other boys on a camping trip. Opie wanders off to pick some berries and Andy goes to find him. Instead of staying with the other youngsters Barney & Gomer also go looking for Opie and manage to get themselves lost. Andy then goes in search of them, and as in numerous other situations, finds a way to spare Barney’s fragile ego and make him look like much more of a rugged outdoorsman than he really is. Really funny stuff from Gomer & Barney.

74 Mountain Wedding (S3E31)

Charlene Darling is set to wed Dud Walsh, but wild man Ernest T. Bass has taken a shine to Charlene and wants her for himself. Andy & Barney are recruited to help deal with Bass, who keeps throwing rocks thru the Darlings’ windows. Andy devises a ruse in which Ernest T. thinks he’s kidnapping Charlene, but it is actually Barney in drag. This is the first appearance of Ernest T. and the only episode in which he & the Darlings appear together. It’s always funny when Barney dresses up like a woman.

73 Runaway Kid (S1E6)

After Opie tattles on his friends for a practical joke they played on Andy, the sheriff proceeds to teach the lad about the importance of keeping one’s word. However that lesson backfires when Opie befriends a young runaway and declines to reveal the boy’s real name so Andy can call his parents. All’s well that ends well though, as Andy gets the info when the case is reported by another police department. I adore father/son stuff with Andy & Opie, and Barney is pretty amusing as well.

72 Lawman Barney (S3E7)

Two farmers illegally selling produce on the side of the road ignore Barney’s orders to cease & desist. This blatant disrespect brings Barney down, and it’s up to Andy to help him regain confidence. But after the two farmers learn that Andy’s tale about Barney being a badass is completely false they again defy the deputy’s orders. After a pep talk from Andy the deputy confronts the men a third time with genuine confidence and they respect his authority. Character actor Allen Melvin makes the third of eight TAGS appearances, this time as one of the quarrelsome farmers.

71 Andy the Matchmaker (S1E7)

At a crossroads in his life Barney tells Andy he is resigning from the police force. He feels bored & useless since there’s never any crime in Mayberry. In an effort to prop up Barney’s self-esteem so that he won’t quit, and maybe even ask out a woman he’s sweet on, Andy & Ellie make up a story about Walker’s Drug Store being robbed. However, much to their surprise, the deputy actually arrests a stranger he suspects of the “robbery”. In a twist of fate the suspect, though obviously not guilty of the fake crime, is actually a wanted man in back in Chattanooga. Andy covertly doing things to boost Barney’s fragile ego is a tried & true TAGS staple.

70 Rafe Hollister Sings (S3E20)

As Barney is prepping for a tryout to represent Mayberry in some kind of regional choral concert, farmer Rafe Hollister comes into the courthouse. It turns out that Hollister has a beautiful singing voice, and Andy encourages him to attend the auditions. Choir director John Masters chooses Rafe for a solo, but Mayor Stoner isn’t happy because the farmer’s appearance is rather unkempt & dingy. Andy tries to save the day by buying Rafe some new clothes, but they are way too small & tight. He ends up singing in his overalls but is nevertheless a fine representative of Mayberry at the concert. This is the final series appearance for both Mayor Stoner & Rafe Hollister.

69 Cyrano Andy (S1E22)

In the inaugural appearance of the lovely Thelma Lou things are a bit shaky because Barney, who we normally see exude a boastful cool with the ladies, is really uneasy around her and doesn’t know what to say or how to act. When Andy tries to help Barney misinterprets his actions and Thelma Lou decides to use the situation to make Barney jealous. Barney then hysterically hits on Ellie, and she plots to scare him away by actually responding to his advances. Andy tries the same tactic with Thelma Lou. Of course the ploy works and Barney & Thelma Lou find their way back to each other. This is a great episode that makes me sad that Ellie Walker didn’t stick around Mayberry for the long haul.

68 Three Wishes for Opie (S5E14)

Barney buys a fortune-telling game, and after the first two of the three wishes he grants Opie actually come true he mistakenly thinks Opie’s third wish is for Andy & Helen to wed. Of course the deputy gets overexcited and the rumor that Andy & Helen are getting married quickly spreads thru Mayberry, much to the chagrin of the sheriff. Floyd & Goober are also around to provide a laugh or two.

67 Mayberry on Record (S1E19)

A record producer comes to town looking to make a folk music album featuring local artists. As always the citizens get overly excited and agree to invest in the project. However, Andy thinks the guy may be a swindler. Eventually he is able to convince the others of this, but just as they are ready to hunt down the producer he returns with news that he has sold the record and made everybody who invested a nice profit. Future bluegrass stars The Kentucky Colonels appear in this episode.

66 Andy and Helen Have Their Day (S5E13)

Andy & Helen want to have a nice, peaceful Saturday at Myers Lake. Unfortunately Barney keeps showing up to be a nuisance. When Andy is arrested by the game warden for fishing without a license he tries to call Barney to have him bring money for the fine, but Goober gets the call instead. Goober totally screws up the message Andy gives him, and Barney jumps to the conclusion that Andy & Helen are getting hitched…a mistake Barney makes often. This basic idea would be utilized again a couple of years later when Deputy Warren Ferguson & Goober keep interrupting Andy & Helen’s date at the lake.

65 Hot Rod Otis (S4E19)

Andy & Barney become concerned when Otis buys a car. They come up with a hilarious ploy to fool Otis into thinking he died after he goes on one of his frequent benders and wakes up in jail. As it turns out Otis had come to his senses before he ever got drunk and actually sold the car. No one else besides Andy, Barney, & Otis are seen in this episode.

64 The Darling Baby (S5E12)

Charlene Darling & Dud Wash have had their first baby, a girl they name Andelina. Briscoe, Charlene, & the boys come to Mayberry seeking a future husband for the newborn, which is hysterically funny in a creepy sort of way. While jamming a bit with Andy at the Taylor homestead Briscoe gets the idea that Opie would make a great future husband for his granddaughter. Andy disagrees strongly, and Barney is around getting accidently snockered on hooch again. Andy eventually fools Mr. Darling by having Opie sign the betrothal “contract” with a disappearing ink pen, which the old man looks at as some kind of voodoo so he & his family leave as quick as they can. I have always thought that the 1986 TV movie Return to Mayberry missed out on a really cool nod to this episode by having Opie’s wife be a grown-up Andelina instead of some random woman the audience has no reason to care about.

63 A Plaque for Mayberry (S1E25)

The Women’s Historical Society deduces that a descendant of a Revolutionary War hero is living in Mayberry and want to present that person with an award. Much to the horror of Andy, Barney, & Mayor Pike the family member to be awarded turns out to be Otis Campbell. However Otis surprises them all when he shows up to the ceremony stone cold sober and all cleaned up. Otis decides to donate the award to the town, rightfully noting that just because a person’s ancestor was a hero doesn’t make them one, which is the most logical point of the entire plot.

62 Jailbreak (S2E18)

The state police are in town hunting down a thief and they arrogantly request that the local force…Andy & Barney…just stay out of the way. When the crook is caught he is temporarily housed in the jail and Barney stupidly allows him to escape. Andy & Barney deduce that the criminal & his gal pal partner are holed up at the local trailer park, and it seems that they have kidnapped the bigheaded state cop. Barney actually captures a perp legitimately with his quick thinking instead of the dumb luck that usually leads to his particular brand of heroism. Character actor Allen Melvin makes the first of eight TAGS appearances in this episode, and we also meet dry cleaner Fred Goss.

61 Aunt Bea the Crusader (S4E15)

Andy & Barney must reluctantly run Mr. Frisby off of his chicken farm because the county is going to build a new highway. Aunt Bea & her lady friends are horrified and organize a protest. However in the midst of the standoff it is discovered that Frisby has a moonshine still in his basement and of course the ladies become angry that they were fighting for a lawbreaker.

60 Sheriff Barney (S2E12)

A neighboring town in need of a sheriff offers the gig to Barney after seeing a flattering newspaper article. Andy knows that Barney isn’t prepared for the job because sheriffin’ is different than deputyin’, and in an effort to teach Barney that lesson the two switch jobs for a day. After Andy is able to easily solve a dispute that Barney couldn’t between two farmers Barney gets down in the dumps, but Andy is able to reassure him by making Barney believe he has captured the most wanted man in the county, bootlegger Rafe Hollister. Full of bravado again Barney turns down the new job because Maybery needs him. There is a really funny scene with Barney trying to extract information out of a sleeping Otis. The town drunkard jokingly gives the address of his liquor supplier and it takes Barney a second to realize it is HIS address. Did you know that the address given…411 Elm St….is the same as the Texas School Book Depository in Dallas?? Now that might seem like some kind of morbid joke…except for the fact that this episode aired almost two years BEFORE the Kennedy assassination!! This episode marks the first of three appearances by Rafe Hollister, although the actor had previously been on three other episodes portraying different characters.

59 Otis Sues the County (S5E15)

After Otis slips & falls at the jail Barney makes him fill out an accident report, but when the notary public at the bank isn’t around Otis has to take the paperwork to Mt. Pilot to have it notarized by an attorney. That lawyer is a shyster who convinces Otis to sue the county, persuading him that he’d actually be doing Andy & Barney a favor by assuring that the courthouse would receive needed renovations. At the hearing Otis remembers that he actually tripped over his own coat. Floyd is particular obtuse in this episode, to great comedic effect. There is a really funny scene involving Otis & Barney wherein the clueless deputy accidentally becomes intoxicated, something tha happens a few times over the years. The actor portraying the shady lawyer had previously played a thief on the show a few years earlier.

58 The Darlings Are Coming (S3E25)

The Darling family came down from the mountains to visit Mayberry about a half dozen times, and this was the first. They are meeting the bus that is bringing Charlene’s fiancée Dud home from military service. In the meantime though they keep sneaking into the hotel and disturbing the peace with their music. There’s a lot of good singing in this episode. I wouldn’t have minded more appearances by the Darlings.

57 The Pageant (S5E11)

Aunt Bea takes over the lead role of Lady Mayberry in the Founder’s Day play after Clara Edwards has to go out of town, but it turns out she’s a terrible actress. Andy is given the task of telling her about her…lack of ability…but he is spared when Clara returns sooner than expected and Aunt Bea willingly steps aside. Founder’s Day is a big deal in Mayberry, as it is celebrated or mentioned a few times over the years. I’m sure some modern touchy-feely folks may get their knickers twisted about Andy & Barney’s portrayal of Indians, but political correctness wasn’t the cancer fifty years ago that it has become.

56 The Rumor (S4E29)

Barney misinterprets a PDA between Andy & Helen that just so happens to occur in a jewelry store. He quickly convinces Thelma Lou & Aunt Bea that the couple are engaged, which of course they aren’t. Practically the whole town bucks up for a surprise party & gift, which in this case is a redecorated bedroom befitting a married couple. When Andy breaks the news that there is no engagement folks are disappointed but stick around for a party anyway. Barney trying to push Andy into marriage or jumping to the conclusion that he is about to get married is a storyline that is used multiple times throughout the show’s run, and it’s almost always sweet & funny.

55 Opie’s Fortune (S5E9)

After Opie finds a change purse containing $50 Andy tells the boy he can have the money…if no one has claimed it in one week. Immediately after the deadline a man comes forward claiming the lost loot, but Andy doesn’t have the heart to disappoint Opie. However Opie finds out anyway and, in one of those classic mix-ups between father & son, Andy thinks Opie is hurrying to spend the cash when in reality he is preparing to give it back to its rightful owner. Father/son stuff between Andy & Opie is always poignant, a stark contrast to so many of the dysfunctional relationships we see portrayed on television these days.

54 Up in Barney’s Room (S4E10)

Barney is evicted from Mrs. Mendelbright’s boarding house after he breaks her strict rule against cooking in his room. But when Andy & Barney hear that the landlady is about to sell everything and run off with a new beau they smell a rat. It turns out that the guy is a con man out to scam the old lady. They save her, Barney profusely apologizes for breaking the rules, and she agrees to take him back & maybe ease up just a little. This in the only episode with Mrs. Mendelbright, who was portrayed by the same actress who was the first to ever portray Tarzan’s Jane, in a 1918 silent film. Barney gets gooned on hard cider, and it’s always funny when Deputy Fife accidently becomes intoxicated.

53 A Feud Is a Feud (S1E9)

In a nod to Romeo & Juliet Andy tries to end a long running feud between two families who have offspring that want to get married. The feud has been going so long that neither family patriarch even knows what they’re fighting about. Andy does his patented reverse psychology thing by trying to get the two old men to duel each other, but it turns out that both are spineless cowards and that no one in either family has ever been hurt or killed during the alleged feud. All’s well that ends well when the two youngsters tie the knot. Hearing Andy break down Shakespeare for Opie in his down-to-earth homespun way is one of the highlights of the entire series.

52 Man in the Middle (S5E7)

Barney & Thelma Lou get into an argument & break up, only to reconcile the next day. But an offhand comment by Andy (that he didn’t even say) when trying to console Barney explodes into a mess of quarrels among Andy, Barney, Thelma Lou, & Helen. The foursome are the only characters in the episode, which is almost Shakespearean in the way that things get misconstrued & spiral out of control amongst the characters. The infamous night filter is used again, which thru the prism of modern technology looks really silly, although I’m sure 50 years ago few even noticed.

51 Ellie Comes to Town (S1E4)

When pharmacist Fred Walker falls ill his young niece Ellie arrives to run the drug store. She’s a bit uptight and doesn’t immediately get how things work in Mayberry, for example Andy having a key to the store and helping himself to what Aunt Bea needs. There’s also local hypochondriac Emma Brand (later Watson), who demands her pills sans prescription and requests Ellie’s arrest when she doesn’t acquiesce. Despite Ellie’s…rigidity…there is definitely a spark between her & Andy, and the two would go on to become a couple soon enough. She is one of my favorite Andy girlfriends. Emma is one of those delightfully quirky characters that only made a handful of appearances but makes an indelible impression. There’s also some adorableness from Opie here, and that’s always fun.

Let’s take a timeout. We’ll be back!!

80’s Movie Mania…A Fatal Four Way Finale

I’m a pro wrestling fan, and occasionally, instead of the normal one-on-one or even a tag team match, they’ll stick four combatants in the ring and let them fight it out. That is how I’ve decided to conclude this project. We started out back in March 2016 with 84 films, and seven months later we’ve pared it down to four.

The choices made here over these months have been undeniably influenced by my own entertainment sensibilities, but I can assure you that I’ve done my best to be…if I may borrow a phrase…fair & balanced. I’ve given early eliminations to films that I really like, and conversely made other films victorious that aren’t necessarily my cup of tea, all out of respect for undisputable attributes like major awards, significant box office earnings, well-regarded critical praise, & enduring mass appeal. I stayed within a well-defined set of rules, which is why movies like Empire Strikes Back, Field of Dreams, A Christmas Story, & Back to the Future were not included. However don’t doubt my fanboy love for those & many others not involved in this competition.

At the end of the day I believe that we’ve ended up with a fun & interesting trek down memory lane. I’m a movie buff. I like to sit in a darkened theater with a bucket of popcorn or in the comfort of my living room snuggling with Rocco and escape into what our old pal Willie Wonka would call a world of pure imagination. Oh sure…most of us can’t spend too much time doing that. There are bills to pay, families to care for, responsibilities to fulfill, & goals to reach. But every once in a while it’s good & necessary. The 1980’s represent the latter part of my childhood & my teenage years. Life is fairly simple & typically enjoyable for the vast majority of kids, but most don’t appreciate just how truly wonderful that time was until years later, after things have become complicated, loved ones have departed, health has deteriorated, & guilt free fun is a rare commodity. Occasionally though we can temporarily close Pandora’s box and return to those halcyon days. The 80’s were a great era for cinema, and I am happy to celebrate that accomplishment. I hope you have enjoyed reading along.

The Contenders

The Blues Brothers

The Blues Brothers began as a Saturday Night Live sketch in January 1976. They made two additional appearances as SNL musical guests in April & November of 1978. Of course the band’s leaders…Joliet Jake & Elwood…were portrayed by SNL cast members John Belushi & Dan Aykroyd. Like so many other SNL skits that have followed in the ensuing decades an idea was hatched to evolve the characters into a movie. Aykroyd wrote the screenplay and John Landis was hired to direct. Belushi & Aykroyd formed an actual band with real & accomplished musicians, and The Blues Brothers released their first album, Briefcase Full of Blues, in 1978. Belushi had also become a movie star in 1978 after his role in Animal House (directed by Landis), and left SNL in 1979 along with Aykroyd. The film was released on June 20, 1980. The story follows Jake, upon his release from prison, and Elwood, as they put the band back together to raise money for the orphanage in which they grew up. If you are curious why a religious organization owed back taxes, well, at the time there was a proposed law in Illinois that would have stripped such entities of tax exempt status, so I suppose Aykroyd took that idea and ran with it. It’s a movie full of great music, memorable quotes, numerous car crashes, iconic imagery (dark sunglasses & fedoras), & a ton of cool cameos that modern youngsters might not understand but were awesome back in the day. Critics really liked it and it was the 10^th highest grossing film of 1980. Did you know that The Empire Strikes Back was released less than a month earlier?? Heavy competition indeed. Anyway, more than thirty years later The Blues Brothers is still shown on television with some frequency, something that I consider to be somewhat of a hallmark of greatness. The Blues Brothers won the Tubular Division by defeating European Vacation, The Big Chill, When Harry Met Sally, & The Breakfast Club. That last result is probably considered a controversial upset by some, but the decision is final.

Dead Poets Society

Citizens of The Manoverse know that I am a huge Robin Williams fan, and while he was mostly known as a stand-up comedian and the star of some really funny comedy films (Aladdin, Mrs. Doubtfire, The Birdcage), he was equally accomplished in dramatic roles (Awakenings, One Hour Photo, Insomnia). He won his only Academy Award, for Best Supporting Actor, in 1997 for playing a quiet, introspective therapist in Good Will Hunting. By far my favorite dramatic Robin Williams movie is Dead Poets Society. It was released on June 2, 1989 and was the 10^th highest grossing film of that year. Critics liked it very much. Williams stars as Professor John Keating, the new English teacher at a stodgy New England boarding school in the late 1950s. Keating isn’t your normal uptight teacher, and his methods & perspective on life inspire a group of students, who do some research and find out that Keating was a bit of a rebel even as a student. He attended the same school as a youth and was a member of a secret organization called the Dead Poets Society. The boys decide to revive that club and also use the things they’ve learned from the professor as encouragement to take some chances and rebel against the expectations of the school & their parents. When things don’t go well for one of the youngsters after he stands up to his domineering father the lad commits suicide and Professor Keating loses his job. It sounds much more depressing than it is…trust me. Dead Poets Society isn’t on TV as much as fans might prefer, but I understand. It isn’t the sort of silly comedy or mindless action flick that folks tend to enjoy during a lazy weekend. Even with some trademark comedic flourishes from Williams it is a serious film that some might consider kind of a downer, especially toward the end. But even without as many repeat viewings as a lot of other films discussed in 80’s Movie Mania I still have a deep fondness for Dead Poets Society. Perhaps it is the enchanting presence of Williams. Or maybe it’s the academic setting where people are learning about, discussing, & enjoying poetry & Shakespeare. I suppose the fact that it is a tale chockful of deep thoughts about life is appealing as well. Dead Poets Society topped the Radical Division, defeating The Naked Gun, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, & This Is Spinal Tap to get here.

National Lampoon’s Vacation

There have been five films in the Vacation series, but only two have really retained any lasting appeal. We’ll discuss the other one next Christmas, but for now this is the original, the one that started it all. Released on July 29, 1983, the script was written by John Hughes based on a short story called Vacation ’58 that he’d written for National Lampoon magazine in 1979. The story is available to read online, and while it is amusing and many of the broad strokes are retained in the film, what we ultimately get to enjoy onscreen is much funnier and less…intense. Harold Ramis, who many will remember as Egon Spengler in Ghostbusters or Russell Ziskey in Stripes, directed. He had previously directed Caddyshack and written the screenplays for Animal House & Stripes. Of course the star of the movie is Chevy Chase, who plays Clark Griswold, a sincere yet clueless husband & father who just wants to drive his wife & children from Chicago to California for a fun time at America’s favorite amusement park Walley World. As with any road trip flick there are adventures, mishaps, & quirky characters along the way, leading to a fairly surprising conclusion that admittedly does seem out-of-date in the Internet Age. Vacation was the 11^th highest grossing film of 1983, and received solid reviews for a “screwball comedy”. It bested Stand By Me, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, & Ferris Bueller’s Day Off to win the Bodacious Division. Despite its outdated final act Vacation has retained significance on the pop culture landscape more than thirty years after its initial release. It seems to be shown on television with some frequency, and the fact that the series was rebooted (with Ed Helms portraying middle-aged Rusty Griswold and cameos by Chase & Beverly D’Angelo) just last year proves its lasting popularity. The humor is accessible to a wide target audience and can be enjoyed by multiple generations.

Airplane!

I’m a big fan of parody & spoof films. Parody is derived from the Greek word paroidia, with para meaning “side by side” or “parallel to” and oide meaning “song”. A parody is a work that imitates the style of an earlier work, usually in a humorous manner. The Scary Movie franchise pokes fun at the Scream movies. The Naked Gun movies make fun of cop shows & films. The Austin Powers trilogy parodies James Bond. Spaceballs is a comedic ode to Star Wars. You get the idea. Parody films go all the way back to the 1930’s when Abbott & Costello did a number of movies that were a comedic take on monster flicks of that era. Then in the 70’s there was stuff like Blazing Saddles, a parody of westerns, and Young Frankenstein, yet another funny monster movie. Airplane! was released on July 2, 1980 (just a couple of weeks after The Blues Brothers) and parodies disaster flicks, which had been quite popular in the 70’s (The Swarm, Airport, The Poseidon Adventure, The Towering Inferno, etc.). It is an odd remake of a 1957 film called Zero Hour!, a film most of us have probably never heard of much less seen. Airplane! was the 4^th highest grossing movie of 1980. Hindsight being 20/20 it is understandable that The Empire Strikes Back topped that year, but how in the world 9 to 5 and Stir Crazy made more money than Airplane! is mind boggling and a testament to the popularity of Richard Pryor and…Dolly Parton (???). Anyway, the casting director deserves special kudos for choosing erstwhile tough guys Robert Stack, Leslie Nielsen, Peter Graves, & Lloyd Bridges to star in deadpan comedic roles. It was a masterstroke. The writers too must be praised, as not only does the movie spoof the disaster genre, but it does so with such a plethora of amazing dialogue, funny cameos, & hilarious sight gags that Airplane! practically demands repeat viewings. Critics have loved the film since it came out nearly forty years ago, and it continues to be shown on television with some degree of regularity. Airplane! has thus far defeated Beetlejuice, Top Gun, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, & Uncle Buck.

Elimination 1

Dead Poets Society

As much as I love Robin Williams the fact is that, compared to the competition, I don’t know that this is a film that has resonated with the masses nearly as much. I’m not at all sure that many of my friends or family would immediately choose Dead Poets Society as one of the greatest films of the 80’s. I think it appeals to a certain demographic and I just happen to be in that group. It isn’t repeated on television all that much, and I believe that is because most folks, when channel surfing on a rainy day, gravitate toward comedies or action films. Dead Poets Society is probably a bit too erudite to be a cult classic. Perhaps that is an indictment of our culture and/or our education system, but it is what it is.

Elimination 2

National Lampoon’s Vacation

Two strikes go against Vacation. First of all, many would agree that it might not even be the most beloved film in its own series. Secondly, because of the ending it doesn’t hold up as well as one would hope. Younger viewers probably watch it and think “Why didn’t they just go online and see that Walley World was going to be closed??”. Is it fair to hold that against the film since The Internet obviously didn’t exist in 1983?? Probably not. As a matter of fact I suppose some might say that the fact marks it as representative of the very era this competition purports to celebrate. Trust me…I rolled all of that around in my head. But at the end of the day if I’m splitting hairs I have to admit that I lean toward the ending, as funny as it is, being a mark against Vacation’s longevity.

The Runner Up

Airplane!

Here’s the problem with parodies/spoofs. Much of the humor comes from the audience’s familiarity with the source material that is being mocked. I love Airplane! yet I have never seen Zero Hour!, the original film from which it is derived. I’d probably appreciate the spoof even more if I’d watch the original. Not only that, but I wonder how many people, in 2016, have seen any of the disaster flicks that are also being parodied?? How many people these days are familiar with Peter Graves’ role in Mission: Impossible, Robert Stack in 1960’s TV show The Untouchables, Lloyd Bridges in Police Story, or Leslie Nielsen’s work in Forbidden Planet & The Poseidon Adventure?? Many of the jokes in Airplane! are dated references, like cameos from Ethel Merman & Leave it to Beaver’s Barbara Billingsley. We still laugh because it’s all so very silly, but many younger viewers would laugh even more if they knew why certain things are funny. I’m splitting hairs again…obviously…but that’s what happens when it gets down to separating greatness from greatness.

and finally…….

80’s Movie Mania Champion

The Blues Brothers

It’s repeated on television a lot for a movie that was released nearly forty years ago. It is SO quotable. It has great music. Even if the blues isn’t necessarily your thing you’ll enjoy the tunes in this film. Much like Airplane! some of the cameos are a bit passé, but it’s atleast a draw on that point. Belushi & Aykroyd are fantastic. A sequel, called Blues Brothers 2000, was made in 1998, but of course John Belushi had died 16 years earlier so, as talented as John Goodman is, the magic just wasn’t there. When I was in college our fraternity had a traditional dance/chant thing we did using the song Gimme Some Lovin’. Now that song was written by Steve Winwood and originally recorded by the Spencer Davis Group in 1966, but our inspiration was the awesome Blues Brothers cover. Back then I’d occasionally see guys don the famous dark sunglasses & fedoras. It’s little things like that that help a film endure so that it can be enjoyed by new generations. This is a movie that has stood the test of time. It isn’t deep. It doesn’t challenge one’s mind or elicit reflection on values, philosophy, or a person’s moral compass. It’s just great fun, and when judged against modern standards of acceptability it is remarkably devoid of sex, violence, & profanity. You can watch The Blues Brothers with your children and not only will they not be corrupted by much depravity, they might actually develop a taste for good music. What a bonus!!

80’s Movie Mania…The Elite Eight

After a little vacation from this series it’s time to focus on the finish line. I realize that things here have been very much sportscentric as of late, and that there are citizens of The Manoverse who aren’t really into that sort of thing. However long time readers know that this tends to occur in the fall and have hopefully modulated their expectations. At any rate, today we present the four division final matchups. Since I have said just about everything there is to say about these films I think I’ll just do a tale of the tape sort of thing this time around. Don’t worry…you’ll get a chance to enjoy more of my sparkling wit next time. Specifically I’m looking at five areas of influence that are important factors in deciding the stature of any movie:

Re-Watchability – Is it on television a lot?? If it is on TV do I stop & watch??

Relevance – Does the story hold up well?? Or do modern societal norms & changes in technology make it feel dated??

Quotability – Fun, interesting, well-written movies of all genres are usually very quotable.

Cultural Impact – Is it one of those movies that everyone of a certain age has seen?? Is it familiar to multiple generations?? Do people still occasionally talk about it & watch it even many years after its release??

Pleasure – Do I enjoy watching this movie?? We’ve all read books or watched shows/movies just because we felt compelled to…because we wanted to be cool or seem educated. But what do you enjoy when no one else is around??

Radical

Dead Poets Society vs. This Is Spinal Tap

Re-Watchability

Relevance

Quotability

Cultural Impact

Pleasure

The Verdict: Dead Poets Society. I think it comes down to timing. If Spinal Tap would have come out a few years later or Poets been released a few years earlier the coin may have flipped the other way.

Bodacious

National Lampoon’s Vacation vs. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Re-Watchability

Relevance

Quotability

Cultural Impact

Pleasure

The Verdict: Vacation. This is tough. Bueller probably deserves a better fate, but I have to be honest. Some might say that the invention of The Internet renders the conclusion of Vacation irrelevant, and I concede the point. In that one very significant way the film does not hold up well. However, I believe there is enough greatness there to balance out the one weakness. Bueller is a great time capsule that even modern high school students can enjoy, but I’m not sure it’s as relatable for adults.

Tubular

The Breakfast Club vs. The Blues Brothers

Re-Watchability

Relevance

Quotability

Cultural Impact

Pleasure

The Verdict: The Blues Brothers. To be honest, this result surprises me. However, while The Breakfast Club is a great movie, its relevance & impact is limited to two demographics: high school students & those of us that were teenagers in the 80’s. Conversely, The Blues Brothers is a goofy comedy devoid of meaningful societal commentary, but it is jolly good fun for people of all ages. It is timeless in its own odd way, and has probably done more to advance interest in blues & jazz music than just about anything else in the past four decades.

Gnarly

Uncle Buck vs. Airplane!

Re-Watchability

Relevance

Quotability

Cultural Impact

Pleasure

The Verdict: Airplane!. With all due respect to the memory of the late, great John Candy, this wasn’t a fair fight. Uncle Buck is a nice, underrated, above average comedy, but it’s not the best work of Candy, John Hughes, or MacCaulay Culkin. Heck, it’s not even Amy Madigan’s best film. Conversely, Airplane! birthed an entire subgenre in which everything that has followed in the past 36 years STILL hasn’t measured up to the granddaddy of them all.

TAGS Episode Guide: Ranking (Not Quite) Every Episode of One of America’s Most Beloved TV Shows…Part 3

Welcome back. If you haven’t done so please go back and peruse Parts 1 and 2.

Looking back TAGS had an impressive lineup of guests & bit players that would go on to have notable careers.

That list includes James Best (Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane on the Dukes of Hazzard), comedian Don Rickles, Jerry Van Dyke (Coach), Gavin MacCleod (The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Love Boat), Barbara Eden (I Dream of Jeannie), Denver Pyle (Uncle Jesse on The Dukes of Hazzard), Bill Bixby (The Incredible Hulk), legendary movie stars Jack Nicholson & George Kennedy, Jack Albertson (Chico & The Man), Morgan Brittany (Dallas), Richard Bull (Nels Oleson on Little House on the Prairie), William Christopher (Father Mulcahey on MASH), Jackie Coogan (Uncle Fester on The Addams Family), Ellen Corby (The Waltons), Bob Denver (Gilligan’s Island, The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis), Buddy Ebsen (Jed Clampett on The Beverly Hillbillies), Jamie Farr (Klinger on MASH), Ann Morgan Guilbert (The Nanny, Grumpier Old Men), Pat Hingle (Batman), Alan Hale Jr. (The Skipper on Gilligan’s Island), Howard Hesseman (Dr. Johnny Fever on WKRP in Cincinnati), Larry Clovis (Hogan’s Heroes), Allan Melvin (Sam the Butcher on The Brady Bunch), actor/director Rob Reiner (Meathead on All in the Family), and Lee Van Cleef (The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly).

Now on with the countdown.

100 The New Housekeeper (S1E1)

Technically the concept for TAGS was introduced in a February 1960 episode of Make Room For Daddy, aka The Danny Thomas Show. However this is the first standalone episode of the show. The powers-that-be must’ve been on their game…the show premiered just 8 months after the pilot. We meet Sheriff Taylor and his son Opie as they are celebrating the wedding of their housekeeper Rose. Because Rose is moving out of town with her new husband Andy’s Aunt Bea comes back to Mayberry from Morgantown, WV (the real life hometown of Don Knotts) to take care of Andy & Opie. It is implied that Aunt Bea is from Mayberry but had spent a few years in West Virginia. Six year old Opie is very attached to Rose, who presumably took care of him since he was a baby, so he doesn’t quite warm up to Aunt Bea at first. However when Aunt Bea attempts to leave because she can see the boy is unhappy he begs her to stay. This is a great introduction to the core characters…Andy, Opie, Aunt Bea, & Barney…and it gets better from there.

99 The Rivals (S3E28)

Opie has a crush on a classmate, but she just isn’t that into him. When Thelma Lou tries lifting Opie’s spirits the boy starts crushing on her and Barney feels left out in the cold. Classic Barney, and great father/son stuff between Andy & Opie. A very sweet episode.

98 Aunt Bea’s Brief Encounter (S2E9)

Aunt Bea becomes enamored with Mr. Wheeler, an itinerant handyman who stops by to help her with some rosebushes. Upon finding out that the man lives in his truck Andy & Aunt Bea ask him to stay with them for a bit and do some work around the house, but he keeps weaseling out of doing any actual work. After a comment from the mailman about Mr. Wheeler’s soft hands Andy becomes suspicious and finds out the “handyman” is just a freeloader that takes advantage of kindhearted women like Aunt Bea. Andy manages to scare off the scoundrel and all is well.

97 Bringing Up Opie (S1E32)

Concerned about negative influences on Opie’s behavior, Aunt Bea talks Andy into restricting Opie’s visits to the jail. The boy quickly becomes bored in the afternoon hours after school and wanders off only to fall asleep in the back of a truck that drives off away from Mayberry. There are some heartwarming father/son moments between Andy & Opie, and that’s always a good thing.

96 Three’s a Crowd (S2E27)

Andy decides to court lovely county nurse Mary Simpson. However every time he is alone with her Barney shows up and obliviously interjects himself into the situation. When Andy finally explains things to Barney (in a nicer way than anyone else in the world probably would) the overzealous deputy jumps to the conclusion that the sheriff is about to become engaged. Hilarity ensues. This is the second & final appearance of Nurse Mary. The actress is absolutely beautiful and it’s a shame she & the character disappeared without a trace just like a couple other ladies that Andy dated.

95 Divorce, Mountain Style (S4E25)

Charlene Darling wanders down from the hills seeking to divorce her husband Dud. Of course with The Darlings nothing is ever simple or normal, so a divorce in their world entails some sort of weird hillbilly ritual, which is really funny. In the midst of this craziness Charlene…who has been sweet on Andy since the moment she met him…decides she’s wants to marry the sheriff. Fortunately Andy & Barney find a way to “curse” the union and scare Charlene away. That curse involves Barney dressing in black and riding a horse at midnight…or something like that. It’s hysterically entertaining stuff. There’s no Opie or Aunt Bea in this episode, but that’s alright. Charlene is a real looker and might have been a good match for Andy, but that possibility was never seriously explored. Bob Denver portrays Dud, replacing the actor who’d played the character on two previous occasions. Denver had just spent four seasons playing beatnik Maynard G. Krebs on The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis, and a few months later would begin a three year tour as the titular character on Gilligan’s Island.

94 Goodbye, Sheriff Taylor (S5E10)

When Andy goes to Raleigh to interview for a detective job he makes Barney acting Sheriff. Barney deputizes Otis & Goober, and chaos quickly ensues. At the end of the day Barney realizes that “sheriffin’” is far different than “deputyin’”, and Andy decides to stay in Mayberry. Ironically at the end of the season it would be Barney moving to Raleigh to become a detective.

93 The Manicurist (S2E16)

A young & beautiful manicurist sets up a space in Floyd’s barber shop. The men of Mayberry are a little wary of her presence at first, but quickly warm up to her, upsetting their wives in the process. The manicurist is portrayed by Barbara Eden, who would begin her belly-baring gig on I Dream of Jeannie a few years later. This episode marks the final appearance of Mayor Pike, as the actor passed on before the show aired. It is also the last of a half dozen appearances by town hypochondriac Emma Watson.

92 One-Punch Opie (S3E14)

Opie figures out that the new kid in town is a menace who isn’t worth the trouble. When Opie stands up to him the bully runs off like a coward. The mixture of comedy from Barney and classic father/son stuff from Andy & Opie is the kind of balancing act that makes TAGS great.

91 Bailey’s Bad Boy (S2E15)

Why is it that people think they can speed thru Mayberry?? And why does everyone who gets caught doing so have to make things so difficult on poor Andy?? In this case the perp is a spoiled young man from an affluent family who arrogantly thinks his Daddy will come to his rescue. After Andy takes him fishing and to Sunday dinner at his house the young punk begins to soften a bit, especially after observing the sheriff do some parenting with Opie. There is some really funny stuff in this episode from Otis, and of course the father/son relationship between Andy & Opie is one of the foundations of the whole series. The arrogant speeder is portrayed by Bill Bixby, who would go on to sustained success in three different shows… My Favorite Martian, The Courtship of Eddie’s Father, & The Incredible Hulk.

90 Andy and Opie – Bachelors (S3E4)

Aunt Bea goes out of town to visit a relative. While she’s away Andy’s girlfriend Peggy McMillan steps up to take care of he & Opie. Peggy is a nurse just like a previous Andy paramour…Mary Simpson. Maybe Andy likes sponge baths or something. Anyway, Floyd gets into Andy’s head, convincing him that Peggy is trying to push her way into the Taylor household and trick Andy into proposing. Andy really seems to be afraid of commitment…perhaps because others are always trying to shove him into one. There’s a really sweet scene with Andy playing guitar & singing on the front porch with Peggy while Opie listens. We never saw Helen Crump do that. Poor little Opie seems to crave a mother’s attention. Darn shame Andy made him wait so long and passed up such splendid candidates.

89 Andy and Barney in the Big City (S2E25)

This episode is a rarity in that it is set almost entirely outside of Mayberry. Andy & Barney travel to Raleigh to try to get more funds for their department. Barney proceeds to get involved in tracking down a jewel thief at the hotel. Of course being Barney he pegs the wrong guy (the house detective in fact) for the crime, and it’s up to Andy to set things right. Classic Barney. Hardcore purists might have an issue with the lack of Mayberry-ness, but I’m okay with it since it doesn’t occur often.

88 The Luck of Newton Munroe (S5E29)

A fast-talking traveling salesman comes to Mayberry. Unfortunately everything he sells turns out to be a hunk of junk. Andy takes pity on the young man and asks him to paint his house, with hilarious results. The salesman is portrayed by comedian Don Rickles, who guest starred on a ton of TV shows in the 60’s, as well as doing movies like Kelly’s Heroes and several “Beach” films starring Frankie Avalon & Annette Funicello, all while headlining shows in Vegas and hanging out with Frank Sinatra.

87 Class Reunion (S3E19)

Andy & Barney attend their 20 year high school reunion and Andy meets up with an old girlfriend. There is definite chemistry between the two, but while Andy’s heart is in Mayberry his lady friend has left small town life in the rear view mirror, which proves to be an insurmountable obstacle. This episode aired in 1963, and it is indicated that Andy & Barney graduated in 1945, so the math doesn’t quite add up. Sharp eyed viewers of soap opera Days of Our Lives will recognize Andy’s gal pal as being portrayed by actress Peggy McCay, who portrayed matriarch Caroline Brady on DOOL for over three decades.

86 Barney Fife, Realtor (S5E16)

Barney takes on a second job as a real estate agent. He soon convinces Andy to look into purchasing a bigger house while concurrently selling his own. Opie hilariously spills the beans to prospective buyers about work that needs done on the Taylor homestead, because of course his Paw has taught him all about being honest. Similarly, the house that Andy is interested in has its own issues. At the end of the day everyone decides to stay put where they are, and Barney’s second career seems to end just as quickly as it began.

85 The Big House (S3E32)

Barney & Gomer are in charge of guarding two criminals while Andy is out catching the other two members of their gang. The twosome are inept on an individual basis, and together they are hysterically incompetent. The prisoners keep escaping, but Andy keeps bringing them back before they get too far. George Kennedy makes a brief appearance as a state police detective, four years before he won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor in Cool Hand Luke.

84 Briscoe Declares for Aunt Bea (S4E5)

Briscoe Darling becomes enamored of Aunt Bea, but when she resists his advances he kidnaps her. Andy comes up with the idea of Aunt Bea trying to force Briscoe to clean up his act and become more civilized. The ploy works, as he gets mad at Aunt Bea and promptly ends the “relationship”. This is the only time we see the Briscoes without Charlene.

83 Andy and the New Mayor (S3E3)

Less than a year after the final appearance of Mayor Pike there’s a new head official in Mayberry. Mayor Roy Stoner is uptight & demanding, and he clashes with Andy because of the sheriff’s easygoing way of handling situations. In this case the mayor becomes angry when Andy temporarily releases a prisoner so that he can go tend to his farm, with the promise that he’ll return in three days. When the man doesn’t return on time Mayor Stoner goes in search of him, with the kind of hilarious conclusion only TAGS can provide.

82 Barney and Thelma Lou, Phfftt (S4E30)

While giving Thelma Lou a ride to Mount Pilot Gomer lets slip an offhand comment that Barney made about having Thelma Lou “in my hip pocket”. Naturally this upsets Thelma Lou, who then decides to use clueless Gomer to make our favorite deputy jealous. Gomer enlists Andy’s help to extract himself from the situation, and as usual Sheriff Taylor straightens out the chaos. No Opie or Aunt Bea in this episode, but that’s okay.

81 Andy’s Rich Girlfriend (S3E2)

Andy Taylor had a few girlfriends in the first few seasons of TAGS, but by far my favorite is nurse Peggy McMillan. She was portrayed by actress Joanna Moore, who would go on to become the wife of Ryan O’Neal and the mother of Tatum O’Neal. In this episode we are introduced to Peggy as she & Andy go on a double date with Barney & Thelma Lou. When Andy finds out Peggy comes from a wealthy family Barney gets in his head and convinces him that Peggy is out of his league. Andy begins avoiding Peggy which leads to an argument. Thankfully the two eventually kiss & make up. Perhaps the relationship might have worked out if other people would’ve stopped sticking their nose where it didn’t belong.

80 Barney’s Sidecar (S4E16)

Sensing a need for more patrols to catch speeders Barney buys a motorcycle…complete with sidecar…at an army surplus auction. Barney really gets into it, even donning goggles & a leather jacket, but the townsfolk in Mayberry just laugh at him. He also overdoes it with the speed trap, pulling boxtrucks over for going only 5mph over the limit (flexibility they’ve always been given to get over a nearby hill), and ticks off everybody in town with his overzealous enthusiasm with his new toy. Andy cleverly figures out a way to convince Barney that the bike is an historic artifact and gets him to donate it to a museum.

79 The Mayberry Band (S3E8)

The Mayberry town band wants to go to Raleigh for a statewide competition. The only problem is they’re horrible. Mayor Stoner refuses to let the group participate and embarrass Mayberry, but with a little help from Freddy Fleet & His Band with a Beat Andy is able to convince the Mayor to fund the trip. Freddy Fleet was known as Bobby Fleet on two previous TAGS appearances, and writers affiliated with the show later admitted that the continuity error was simply a mistake. The character was portrayed by three different actors, adding to the confusion.

78 The Clubmen (S2E10)

Andy’s fishing buddy from Raleigh invites the sheriff up to the capitol city to hobnob with snooty members of The Esquire Club. Andy gets permission to bring Barney along. Unfortunately Barney tries a little too hard to make himself seem sophisticated, in the process coming across as a buffoon. A few days later Andy is extended an invitation for membership, but he politely turns it down when Barney is rejected. There is a really funny scene at the beginning when Andy catches Barney napping in the courthouse and Barney tries to play it off. Don Knotts always did some of his best acting with his expressive face and bulging eyes.

77 The Shoplifters (S4E21)

When Ben Weaver reports that things have been coming up missing from his store Barney decides to investigate. In one hilarious scene Mr. Weaver and Barney mistakenly hunt each other down late at night in the store while the security guard sleeps thru almost the whole thing. When that idea doesn’t work Barney decides to go undercover as a store mannequin, with hilarious results. In the end Barney does end up catching the perp…with an assist from Andy. A different, much younger, actor portrays Mr. Weaver due to the death of the performer who’d played the character in three previous episodes. A better writer would’ve specified the character here to be Ben Weaver Jr., but continuity wasn’t a strong suit of the folks in charge of TAGS.

76 Andy and Opie, Housekeepers (S1E23)

Aunt Bea jumps on Andy & Opie for being slobs, and then she is called way to help out a sick relative in Mt. Pilot for a few days. Andy & Opie are determined to keep the house tidy in Aunt Bea’s absence but fail miserably. They hurry to clean it up before she returns, but then Andy decides that Aunt Bea might feel unneeded so they mess it up again. However while the boys are on their way to pick up Aunt Bea at the bus station Clara Edwards (called Bertha Edwards in what is her inaugural appearance) decides to pop in and clean the house for them. When the Taylors return they’re all surprised at how clean the living room is, but Opie has enough time to mess up his room again and Andy trashes the kitchen to spare Aunt Bea’s feelings. When Aunt Bea says the house looked like a pigpen when she got home Miss Edwards is hilariously offended. Opie is adorable in this episode.

This seems like a good place for another break. Stay tuned.

80’s Movie Mania…The Sweet Sixteen – Part 2

I apologize for the delay. I had intended to publish this immediately on the heels of Part 1, but sometimes life gets busy. I’m sure y’all can relate. Anyway, we conclude the Sweet 16 round today and will likely take a little break before resuming the competition. Not only has The Lord been telling me to get some other, more meaningful stuff written, but football season is on the horizon as well. Thankfully I rarely seem to be wanting for content. Enjoy.

Bodacious

National Lampoon’s Vacation

Released: 8/29/83

Starring: Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Anthony Michael Hall, Imogene Coca, Randy Quaid

Director: Harold Ramis

Awards: none

Box Office: $61 million

Rotten Tomatoes: 93% Fresh

Quotes: “Now, I owe it to myself to tell you that if you’re taking the whole tribe cross-country this is your automobile…the Wagon Queen Family Truckster. You think you hate it now, but wait ’til you drive it.”

“Why aren’t we flying? Because getting there is half the fun. You know that.”

“Excuse me. Could you please tell how to get back on the expressway?” “Man, who do I look like, Christopher Columbo?”

“I’m going steady, and I French kiss.” “So, everybody does that.” “Yeah, but Daddy says I’m the best at it.”

“We can’t leave her on the patio!” “Would you rather I slipped her in the night deposit box at the funeral home?”

“Roy, could you imagine if you had driven all the way to Florida and it was closed?” “Closed? Uh, they don’t close Florida.”

Miscellaneous: Notable cameos are made by John Candy and model Christie Brinkley. The script was based on a story called Vacation ’58, which was written by John Hughes and published in the September 1979 edition of National Lampoon magazine. Disneyland turned down the opportunity to be the Griswold’s destination, so Walley World was written as a fictional substitute. The original ending of the film had the Griswolds going to Roy Walley’s house and holding him hostage. It turns out that the Ferrari Girl is Walley’s daughter and she gets Clark off the hook with the police. On the plane ride home Clark realizes they’re on the wrong flight and hijacks the airplane. Test audiences didn’t respond well so the ending was changed.

vs.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

Released: 11/26/86

Starring: William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Catherine Hicks

Director: Leonard Nimoy

Awards: nominated for 11 Saturn Awards, Oscar nominations for Cinematography, Sound, Sound Effects Editing, & Original Score

Box Office: $133 million

Rotten Tomatoes: 85% Fresh

Quotes: “You mean the profanity? That’s simply the way they talk here. Nobody pays any attention to you unless you swear every other word. You’ll find it in all the literature of the period.”

“Computer! Computer? Hello, computer.” “Just use the keyboard.” “Keyboard. How quaint.”

“Don’t tell me! You’re from outer space.” “No, I’m from Iowa. I only work in outer space.”

“My God man, drilling holes in his head is not the answer! The artery must be repaired! Now, put away your butcher’s knives and let me save this patient before it’s too late!”

“Everybody remember where we parked.”

“My God, man. Do you want an acute case on your hands? This woman has immediate postprandial, upper-abdominal distention. Now, out of the way! Get out of the way!” “What did you say she has?” “Cramps.”

“Dialysis? What is this, the Dark Ages?”

Miscellaneous: The transparent aluminum that Scotty utilizes became reality in 2009 thanks to the physics department at Oxford University. The film was dedicated to the crew of the space shuttle Challenger, which had exploded just 10 months earlier. This was the highest grossing of the six movies featuring the cast of the original series.

The Verdict: Vacation. After eliminating Wrath of Khan earlier in this round I cannot in good conscience allow The Voyage Home to advance further. The same logic applies…Trekkies love it, but it is a limited target audience. Vacation is much more accessible to the masses. Chevy Chase’s career has been hit & miss at best, but he hit a home run with this one, as well as the 1989 sequel Christmas Vacation.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Released: 6/11/86

Starring: Matthew Broderick, Alan Ruck, Jennifer Grey

Director: John Hughes

Awards: highly regarded on several lists of best comedies and best high school films, Broderick was nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Actor in Comedy/Musical

Box Office: $70 million

Rotten Tomatoes: 81% Fresh

Quotes: “How could I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this?”

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

“Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?”

Miscellaneous: A spinoff/prequel TV series (with Jennifer Aniston taking over the Jennifer Grey role) aired during the 1990-91 season, but it just couldn’t measure up. The famous parade scene supposedly takes place at Chicago’s Von Steuben Day Parade, which celebrates Baron Friedrich von Steuben, a Prussian military officer who came to America and aided George Washington during the American Revolution. The German-centric event is generally held in September. However the film is supposed to be set in late spring near the end of the school year. Oops.

vs.

Risky Business

Released: 8/5/83

Starring: Tom Cruise, Rebecca DeMornay

Director: Paul Brickman (Bad News Bears Breaking Training)

Awards: none

Box Office: $64 million

Rotten Tomatoes: 96% Fresh

Quotes: “Every now and then, say ‘What the heck.’ ‘What the heck’ gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity, opportunity makes your future.”

Miscellaneous: Sales of Wayfarer sunglasses rose 2000% after the film’s release. Timothy Hutton, Michael J. Fox, Tom Hanks, John Cusack, & Nicolas Cage were all considered for the role that ultimately went to Cruise. Frank Sinatra & Richard Dreyfus were both up for the role of Guido the pimp.

The Verdict: Ferris Bueller. Critics love Risky Business, and it is a well-written film. However Bueller is equally smart and it is much purer, notably devoid of sex & foul language. Oh sure…ol’ Ferris is a bit of a rascal, but in the grand scheme of life his escapades are mostly harmless, and his advice about taking time to occasionally stop & smell the roses is more profound than what one usually finds in most teen-centric movies.

Tubular

The Breakfast Club

Released: 2/15/85

Starring: Molly Ringwald, Judd Nelson, Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, Ally Sheedy

Director: John Hughes

Awards: 2005 Silver Bucket of Excellence Award at the MTV Movie Awards

Box Office: $52 million

Rotten Tomatoes: 89% Fresh

Quotes: “We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us…in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Correct? That’s the way we saw each other at 7:00 this morning. We were brainwashed.”

“Don’t mess with the bull, young man. You’ll get the horns.”

“Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?”

“My God, are we gonna be like our parents?” “It’s unavoidable. It just happens. When you grow up your heart dies.”

“Face it…you’re a neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie.”

Miscellaneous: Originally there was an idea about doing multiple sequels, occurring every ten years, in which the group would get back together. However Hughes had an unstable working relationship with Nelson, and the director also had a falling out with Ringwald when she decided that she wanted to move on from teen roles, thus the follow-ups never happened. Ringwald & Hall were 16 at the time the film was shot…the others were all in their 20’s.

vs.

Dirty Dancing

Released: 8/21/87

Starring: Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey

Director: Emile Ardolino

Awards: won an Oscar for Best Original Song (I’ve Had the Time of My Life) & Grammy for Best Pop Performance by a Duo

Box Office: $214 million

Rotten Tomatoes: 72% Fresh

Quotes: “Nobody puts Baby in the corner!”

Miscellaneous: A prequel/remake/reimagining called Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights was made in 2004. I’ve never seen it and have no interest in ever doing so.

The Verdict: The Breakfast Club. This is a surprisingly easy decision. While Dirty Dancing is a cultural benchmark of the 1980’s there is no doubt that The Breakfast Club is a much better film.

When Harry Met Sally

Released: 7/14/89

Starring: Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan, Bruno Kirby, Carrie Fisher

Director: Rob Reiner

Awards: Oscar nomination for Original Screenplay, Golden Globe nominations for Best Musical/Comedy, Best Screenplay, Best Director, Best Actor (Crystal), Best Actress (Ryan)

Box Office: $93 million

Rotten Tomatoes: 89% Fresh

Quotes: “When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.”

“Men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way. No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.”

“There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.” “Which one am I?” “You’re the worst kind…you’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance.”

“I’ll have what she’s having.”

“Oh, but ‘baby fish mouth’ is sweeping the nation?”

“I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

Miscellaneous: The infamous quote “I’ll have what she’s having” is delivered by Reiner’s mother Estelle. Harry Connick Jr. is almost as big of a star in the movie as the actors, as he performs the entire soundtrack.

vs.

The Blues Brothers

Released: 6/20/80

Starring: John Belushi & Dan Aykroyd

Director: John Landis (Animal House, Trading Places, Coming to America)

Awards: none

Box Office: $115 million

Rotten Tomatoes: 85% Fresh

Quotes: “We’re on a mission from God.”

“Are you the police?” “No, ma’am. We’re musicians.”

“Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.” “And some dry white toast, please.”

“It’s a hundred and six miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.”

“What kind of music do you usually have here?” “Oh, we got both kinds. We got country AND western.”

Miscellaneous: Over 100 cars were wrecked during filming. The film has a fantastic soundtrack, including songs by Taj Mahal, Steve Winwood, Ray Charles, James Brown, Robert Johnson, Cab Calloway, Sam Cooke, Otis Redding, John Lee Hooker, & Elmore James.

The Verdict: The Blues Brothers. This is a tough call. I adore When Harry Met Sally. However, the cultural impact of The Blues Brothers cannot be ignored. It is such a unique film. Harry/Sally is undoubtedly one of the two or three best romantic comedies ever produced, but the fact is that rom-coms are a dime-a-dozen. One’s preferences can be easily swayed by whomever the lead actors are. I loved pre-Botox Meg Ryan, and I am a huge Billy Crystal fan, yet at the end of the day rom-coms all have the same basic structure. It’s a plug & play deal, with different actors going thru similar scenarios. Harry/Sally is particularly well written & performed, but at it cannot completely escape the familiar commonalities of the genre. The Blues Brothers is lightning in a bottle. A sequel was attempted in 1998, but its failure proves my point.

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