Author: sammano

Winning & Musing…..Volume 4.11

Who would have ever believed that in midsummer the Pittsburgh Pirates would be about the only thing I wouldn’t feel negatively about??

Tiger Woods is finished. Atleast that is my opinion. Oh sure, he’ll win a few more tournaments and maybe even a couple more majors. But those majors will be of the “feel good” “one last hurrah” variety, like Jack Nicklaus’ Masters victory in 1986 at the age of 46, long after most thought he was done as a competitive golfer. I don’t think Woods will surpass or even tie Nicklaus’ record of 18 major titles. Not only is Tiger’s body beginning to betray him (as it does all of us eventually), but I just don’t think it’s reasonable to believe that he can ever regain the mental toughness and dominant intimidation factor that were key elements in his decade of supremacy.

Surely no NFL team will be desperate enough to sign RB Tiki Barber, who is 36 years old, has been out of the game for 5 years, and wasn’t exactly Mr. Popularity in the lockerroom. There are plenty of younger, fresher legs out there, especially for a backup role.

A melancholy farewell to Lorenzo Charles, a starting forward on the 1983 NC St. Wolfpack national champion basketball team. It was Charles who threw in the winning dunk allowing the Pack to pull off one of the biggest upsets in NCAA tournament history over the Hakeem Olajuwon/Clyde Drexler Houston Cougars, known as Phi Slamma Jamma. Charles died recently when the bus he was driving crashed. One can imagine Coach Jim Valvano frantically running around The Pearly Gates ready to give Lorenzo Charles a big ol’ hug.

I am smart enough to realize that the NFL lockout is more complex than multimillionaires arguing with billionaires, but ultimately that is how most fans look at the whole thing. As of this moment there seems to be cautious optimism that a deal will be done within a couple weeks that will allow the season to begin on time and things to proceed as usual. I sincerely hope that is the case. Make it happen NFL…players, owners, Commandant Goodell…all of you.

Congratulations to the Dallas Mavericks, the new NBA Champions. I didn’t really have a dog in the fight, as I have never had a favorite NBA team. However, it gave me immense pleasure to see Lebron James choke like an illiterate redneck in a spelling bee. He and his buddies thought they could put together what amounted to an All-Star team and just waltz their way to a title, but the Mavericks proved that, no matter how much the NBA tries to market individual players, basketball is still a team sport. “King” James (King of what exactly??) was exposed as an overrated superstar who is a superior athlete but not a particularly great basketball player.

FYI…the Frank McCourt that is on the verge of losing ownership of the LA Dodgers is not the same Frank McCourt that was the author of the Pulitzer Prize winning memoir Angela’s Ashes. The author died in 2009.

It’s July and my Pittsburgh Pirates are in 3rd place and only 3 games out of the top spot in their division. I am not optimistic enough to think their position will improve or even stay as good as it is, but for the first time in much more than a decade I sense real progress with this team and see a glimmer of hope that a long term nucleus is in place and bright things may be on the horizon.

Maybe Terrell Owens makes a comeback, maybe he doesn’t. I couldn’t possibly care less. Owens’ “Look at Me!!” schtick and his penchant for being a locker room cancer, throwing teammates under the bus, and being a huge headache for coaches far exceeded his talent several years ago. I wouldn’t sign him to my team with a gun to my head. But agent Drew Rosenhaus is a complete moron if he thinks anyone with a brain is going to buy the PR campaign that a 37 year old wide receiver can fully recover from reconstructive knee surgery in less than 5 months. Rosenhaus is the kind of slicked back, smooth talking slimeball that gives agents a bad reputation. Even televangelists and hookers probably feel the need to take a shower after seeing Rosenhaus on TV.

Don’t you just love former NFL coach and current ESPN analyst Herm Edwards?? He can give me a pep talk anytime he wants.

 

Jim Tressel and the Ohio State faithful should have asked West Virginia Mountaineer fans about prima donna QB Terrelle Pryor. A few years ago, when former Mountaineer coach Rich Fraudriguez made his ignominious exit from The Mountain State to what he thought were greener pastures at Michigan (he was wrong), rumor had it that the last thing he did was call a certain QB he had been trying to recruit in order to convince him to follow the blazing trail to Ann Arbor. Even as the Mountaineer faithful were spewing hate-filled venom at the turncoat native son there were whispers that steering Pryor away from our beautiful state may be a blessing in disguise. Even at that point in time the youngster had proven himself to be a selfish diva who had completely bought into his own hype. Now, a few years later, Terrelle Pryor has left the Buckeyes early, brought shame upon the program, and cost Coach Tressel his job. I don’t believe Tressel is blameless. I think he got caught up in the machine like so many do, where the pressure to win outweighs all common sense and consumes a person’s dignity, honor, and integrity. I also realize that the issue is systemic in Columbus (as it most likely is at more big time athletic programs than we realize) and that a lot of players over several years were violating rules. But right or wrong I put most of the burden concerning the current mess squarely on the shoulders of Terrelle Pryor. If there is any justice he will never have much of a pro career and 20 years from now he’ll be making $8/hr. unloading freight at Sam’s Club at 2am. I have no sympathy or patience for ghetto punks who think the world owes them something just because they can run fast or do cool things with an inflated rubber ball.

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100 Favorite Movies – The Complete List

As a coda to the Top 100 Favorite Movies series this is the complete list. All commentaries on each particular movie can be found in the vault. Once again thanks for reading!!

 

 

1       The Godfather

“I’m with you now. I’m with you.”

 

2       Forrest Gump

“Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?”…”I didn’t know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir.”

 

3       Field of Dreams 

“You know we just don’t recognize the most significant moments of our lives while they’re happening. Back then I thought, well, there’ll be other days. I didn’t realize that that was the only day.”

 

4       It’s a Wonderful Life

“Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole.”

 

5       A Christmas Story

“Frah-gee-lay. It must be Italian!”…”I think that says ‘fragile’ honey.”…”Oh, yeah.”

6    National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

“You want to hurry this up, Clark? I’m freezing my baguettes off.”

 

7       Apollo 13

“Failure is not an option.”

 

8       The Star Wars Trilogy

“May The Force be with you.”

 

9       Die Hard

“Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!”

 

10     The Godfather Part II

“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.”

 

11     The Passion of the Christ

“Take this and drink. This is My blood, spilled for you and for many. Do this in memory of Me.”

 

12     Home Alone

“He’s a kid. Kids are stupid.”

 

13     National Lampoon’s Vacation

“This is a damn fine automobile if you want my honest opinion. I owe it to myself to tell you that if you’re taking the tribe cross-country this is the automobile you should be using, the Wagon Queen Family Truckster. You think you hate it now, but wait ‘til you drive it.”

 

14     Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

“Those aren’t PILLOWS!!”

 

15     Office Space

“Ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.”

 

16     The Polar Express

“At one time, most of my friends could hear the bell. But as years passed, it fell silent for all of them. Though I have grown old, the bell still rings for me. As it does for all who truly believe.”

 

17     Bull Durham

“Man that ball got outta here in a hurry. I mean anything travels that far oughta have a damn stewardess on it, don’t you think?”

 

18     Dead Poets Society

“They’re not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they’re destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? – – Carpe – – hear it? – – Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.”

 

19     The Fugitive

“I’m either lying or I’m gonna shoot you, what do you think?”

 

20     Grease

“Tell me ’bout it…Stud”

 

21     Casablanca

“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”

 

22     Jaws

“The thing about a shark is he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes.”

 

23     A Christmas Carol

“Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence were all my business.”

 

24     Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

“To the last, I will grapple with thee! From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee! For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee!”

 

25     The Lethal Weapon Series

“I’m too old for this shit.”

 

26     The Blues Brothers

“We’re on a mission from God.”

 

27     Ocean’s Eleven

“You’d need at least a dozen guys doing a combination of cons. Off the top of my head, I’d say you’re looking at a Boesky, a Jim Brown, a Miss Daisy, two Jethros and a Leon Spinks, not to mention the biggest Ella Fitzgerald ever.”

 

28     The Ref

“You know what I’m going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.”

 

29     Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

 

30     Rocky

“I was nobody. But that don’t matter either, you know? ‘Cause I was thinkin’, it really don’t matter if I lose this fight.  ‘Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. If I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I’m still standin’, I’m gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren’t just another bum from the neighborhood.”

 

31     The Perfect Storm
“She’s not gonna let us out.”

 

32     The Back to the Future Trilogy

“And that’s when you came up with the idea for the Flux Capacitor, which is what makes time travel possible.”

33     Titanic

“God Himself could not sink this ship.”

 

34     A Shot in the Dark

“I believe everything and I believe nothing. I suspect everyone and I suspect no one.”

 

35     Scent of a Woman

“There is nothing like the sight of an amputated spirit. There is no prosthetic for that.”

 

36     Halloween

“I realized that what was living behind that boy’s eyes was purely and simply evil.”

 

37     Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

“There’s nobody dumb enough to knock off a toy store on Christmas Eve.”

 

38     Best in Show

“We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.”

 

39     The Shawshank Redemption

“Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.”

 

40     Cast  Away

“I’ll be right back.”

 

41     Jerry Maguire

“You had me at ‘Hello’.”

 

42     Rear Window

“We’ve become a race of Peeping Toms. What people ought to do is get outside their own house and look in for a change. Yes sir. How’s that for a bit of homespun philosophy?”

 

43     Mrs. Doubtfire

“He was quite fond of the drink. It was the drink that killed him…”How awful, he was an alcoholic?”…”No, he was hit by a Guinness truck, so it was quite literally the drink that killed him.”

 

44     Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

“Computer! Computer? Hello, computer.”…”Just use the keyboard.”…”Keyboard. How quaint.”

 

45     Sleepless in Seattle

“Shall we??”

 

46     When Harry Met Sally

“I’ll have what she’s having.”

 

47     Elf

“This place reminds me of Santa’s workshop. Except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.”

 

48     You’ve Got Mail

“The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don’t know what the hell they’re doing or who on earth they are, can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self.”

 

49     Miracle on 34th Street

“Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to.”

 

50     Little Miss Sunshine

“Nietzsche? So you stopped talking because of Friedrich Nietzsche? Far out.”

 

51     Father of the Bride I & II

“He’s like you, Dad! Except he’s brilliant.”

 

52     Die Hard with a Vengeance

“Look around man. All the cops are into something. It’s Christmas, you could steal City Hall.”

 

53     Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

“You have not experienced Shakespeare until you have read him in the original Klingon.”

 

54     Swingers

“Vegas baby! Vegas!!”

 

55     Saturday Night Fever

“You know how many times someone told me I was good in my life? Two! Twice! Two times! This raise today, and dancing…dancin’ at the disco!”

 

56     Batman

“You ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?”

 

57     This Is Spinal Tap

“It’s such a fine line between stupid and clever.”

 

58     American Beauty

“I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain. And I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.”

 

59     Vertigo

“I have acrophobia which gives me vertigo and I get dizzy. Boy, what a moment to find out I had it!”

 

60     Hoosiers

“You know, a basketball hero around here is treated like a god. How can he ever find out what he can really do? I don’t want this to be the high point of his life. I’ve seen them, the real sad ones. They sit around the rest of their lives talking about the glory days when they were seventeen years old.”

 

61     Silence of the Lambs

“A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

 

62     Meet the Parents

“Shut your pie hole and listen to me when I say that I am finished with the checking-of-the-bags conversation!”

 

63     Mr. Smith Goes to Washington

“You think I’m licked. You all think I’m licked. Well, I’m not licked, and I’m gonna stay right here and fight for this lost cause.”

 

64     Raging Bull

“I’m gonna win. There’s no way I’m goin’ down. I don’t go down for nobody.”

 

65     Airplane!

“Surely you can’t be serious?”…”I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.”

 

66     The Frat Pack 3 Pak (Anchorman, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Wedding Crashers)

“Stay classy San Diego”

 

67     Ocean’s Thirteen

“He owns all of the air south of Beijing…”The air?”…”Let me put it to you this way – try building something taller than three stories in the Tiangjin province, and see if his name comes up.”

 

68     The Greatest Show on Earth

“The circus is a massive machine whose very life depends on discipline and motion and speed. A mechanized army on wheels that rolls over any obstacle in its path, that meets calamity again and again, but always comes up smiling. A place where disaster and tragedy stalk the big top, haunt the backyard, and ride the circus train. Where death is constantly watching for one frayed rope, one weak link, or one trace of fear. A fierce, primitive fighting force that smashes relentlessly forward against impossible odds. That is the circus.”

 

69     The Shrek Trilogy

“Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by true love’s first kiss.”

 

70     The Glenn Miller Story

“Maybe it’s good and maybe it ain’t, but it’s radical!”

 

71     The Patriot

“Before this war is over, I’m going to kill you.”

 

72     American Pie

“I got some scotch”…”Single malt?”…”Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.”

 

73     North by Northwest

“That’s funny, that plane’s dustin’ crops where there ain’t no crops.”

 

74     Glengarry Glen Ross

“Put that coffee down. Coffee is for closers only.”

 

75     Goodbye Mr. Chips

“I thought I heard you saying it was a pity… pity I never had any children. But you’re wrong. I have. Thousands of them. Thousands of them… and all boys.”

 

76     Twelve Angry Men

“We have a reasonable doubt, and that’s something that’s very valuable in our system.”

 

77     Rocky II

“Yo Adrian!! I did it!!”

 

78     The Godfather Part III

“Just when I thought I was out they pull me back in!!”

 

79     Saving Private Ryan

“James… earn this. Earn it.”

 

80     Big

“There are a million reasons for me to go home but there is only one reason for me to stay.”

 

81     Trapped in Paradise

“Hey! That’s Timmy’s sleigh!”

 

82     Top Gun

“I feel the need…the need for speed!!”

 

83     Dirty Dancing

“Nobody puts Baby in a corner!!”

 

84     Apocalypse Now

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn’t find one of ’em, not one stinkin’ dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like…victory.”

 

85     Brat Pack 3 Pak (The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, St. Elmo’s Fire)

I always preferred to hang out with the outcasts, ’cause they were cooler; they had better taste in music, for one thing, I guess because they had more time to develop one with the lack of social interaction they had. – John Hughes

 

86     Tin Cup

“Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.”

 

87     The Big Chill

“A long time ago we knew each other for a short period of time; you don’t know anything about me. It was easy back then. It’s not surprising our friendship could survive that. It’s only out there in the real world that it gets tough.”

 

88     Seabiscuit

“You don’t throw away your life just ’cause it’s banged up a little bit.”

 

89     The Wizard of Oz

“There’s no place like home.”

 

90     The Birdcage

“I’m the Vice President of the Coalition for Moral Order! My co-founder has just died in the bed of an underage black whore!”

 

91     Pride of the Yankees

“Is it three strikes, Doc?”…”You want it straight?”…”Yeah.”…”It’s three strikes.”

 

92     The Ten Commandments

“Let my people go!”

 

93     Honeymoon in Vegas

“We’re the Flying Elvises. Utah chapter.”

 

94     Hook

“Your children love you, they want to play with you. How long do you think that lasts? We have a few special years with our children, when they’re the ones that want us around. After that you’re going to be running after them for a bit of attention. It’s so fast Peter. Just a few years, and it’s over. And you are not being careful. And you are missing it.”

 

95     Uncle Buck

“I don’t have a college degree. I don’t even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they’re all good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they’re no good.”

 

96     School of Rock

“Dude, I service society by rocking, OK? I’m out there on the front lines liberating people with my music!”

 

97     Risky Business

“Every now and then say, ‘What the fuck.’ ‘What the fuck’ gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.”

 

98     Fast Times at Ridgemont High

“All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I’m fine.”

 

99     E.T., the Extra-Terrestrial

“E.T. phone home”

 

100   Caddyshack

“It’s in the HOLE!!”

 

 

 

 

 

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100 Favorite Movies…..#1

Your Humble Potentate of Profundity has been very sick. I have been battling a kidney infection and probably waited a few too many days to go to the doctor. When one has been involved with the medical establishment as much as I have over the course of these 38 years the compulsion to shake things off and treat one’s self with over-the-counter remedies is overwhelming but not always wise. At any rate, I am happily on the mend and slowly but surely beginning to regain a sense of normalcy, which means the desire to write is coming back as well. The truth is I have probably a half dozen things in the hopper but just haven’t had the energy or mental acuity to make it happen. That ends now.

 

I can think of no better way to get back in the saddle than by finally, at long last, finishing The Top 100 Favorite Movies series with the top of the heap, the cream of the crop, A number 1.

 

I began this endeavor with a short intro on April 11, 2009 in which I stated my belief that “greatness takes time”. The funny thing is, out of all the films in this list the #1 spot belongs to the one movie to which my logic probably never applied. Its gravitas and superiority have been recognized almost since the day of its release and a tremendous reputation has just grown over the past four decades. I have seen it called “the perfect movie”, amongst a plethora of other accolades and complimentary reviews. When I take into consideration my own tastes…the penchant for comedy, a general aversion to violence, and gravitation toward lighter fare…I am, quite frankly, shocked that I ever fell in love with this movie. I lay all the blame on my Dad, who had me watching our subject du jour from a very young age. So I suppose it is apropos that we reach the top of this very long trek just a few days after Father’s Day. Thanks Dad.

 

As if anyone who has been following this series has not seen it coming from miles away, it should surprise no one that the film in question is 1972’s Francis Ford Coppola/Mario Puzo magnum opus The Godfather.

 

The Godfather is similar, in a sense, to Field of Dreams, in that Field of Dreams is often lazily painted as “a baseball movie” when in fact it is so much more, while The Godfather is too easily pigeonholed as “a gangster movie” but is far more…far better…than that simplistic definition. And while some have been critical over the years that The Godfather glamourizes mob life, I couldn’t possibly disagree more. The truth is that Coppola glamourized movie making again, and the subject matter just so happened to involve The Mafia.

 

I cannot imagine that there are many amongst us that have not seen The Godfather. Maybe it isn’t necessarily your cup o’ tea, but you have seen it.  It is the story of the Corleone family in New York…patriarch and mob kingpin Vito (played by the legendary Marlon Brando), hothead oldest son Sonny (played by James Caan), dimwitted middle son Fredo, and youngest son Michael (played by Al Pacino), who has stayed out of the family business and served his country as a Marine in WWII. Vito also has a daughter, Connie (played by Talia Shire, better known as Adrian in the Rocky series), and an honorary son, his consigliere (counselor) Tom Hagen (played by Robert Duval). When Don Vito refuses to get into the narcotics business he is nearly killed, and not-ready-for-primetime Sonny takes control of The Family. Unfortunately he is murdered as well, which means that eventually Michael steps in and proves to be even more cool and calculating than his father.

 

Is there a lot of gunfire and bloodshed in The Godfather?? Yes, there is. But unlike so many movies today, the violence doesn’t seem to be superfluous. We understand why these murders are taking place and it all seems to fit well within the context of the story. And while I don’t agree with the sentiment that the movie glorifies the mob, I do think it looks at it in an unflinching, no holds barred, non-watered down manner, which I feel is the appropriate way to go. If the violent content had been sanitized or lightened up then I think that would have been more veneration of organized crime than anything. As it stands I do not know how anyone can watch The Godfather and say to themselves “Now THAT is what I want to do with my life!!”. I suppose maybe the haters think that the movie tries to justify the criminal activity of the Corleone family by painting them as honorable men who have their limits and are just trying to make their way in the world. I guess I can see a bit of logic in that, but even then one really needs to pay more attention. Vito Corleone is clearly conflicted, even though he says “I work my whole life, I don’t apologize, to take care of my family. And I refused to be a fool dancing on the strings held by all of those big shots. That’s my life, I don’t apologize for that.” We learn later on in Part 2 of the trilogy of Vito’s humble beginnings in Sicily, his arrival in America, and how he first got involved in La Famiglia. But he wanted more for his family…especially youngest son Michael. And the entire trilogy itself is in large part about the fall of Michael Corleone and his struggle to become “legitimate”. Far from glamourizing anything, The Godfather is a melancholy tale of bad choices, wrong turns, and flawed logic mixed with good intentions. However, it is just so well written and well-acted that somehow it ends up being an enthralling entertainment experience rather than a depressing one, like Leaving Las Vegas or anything starring David Arquette.

 

Even the supporting characters in The Godfather are a rich tapestry woven into the story in such a way that they are far from excessive. There’s Diane Keaton as Michael’s girlfriend/wife Kay, bitter film director Jack Woltz who wakes up with a shocking bedfellow, caporegimes Clemenza and Tessio (played by Abe Vigoda), Vegas impresario Moe Greene (a character based on real life gangster Bugsy Siegel), crooner Johnny Fontane (widely assumed to be based on Frank Sinatra), “Turk” Solozzo the drug dealer who begins the war between the families, infamous Corleone enforcer Luca Brasi, and Connie’s husband Carlo who is famously beaten to a pulp by Sonny and later eliminated on Michael’s orders. I could go on & on. No wonder it took Coppola nearly 3 hours to fit it all in. Oddly enough though, few people complain about the extensive length of the film. I suppose folks only do that when it’s not a very good movie.

 

Everything about The Godfather is nearly flawless. The music is minimal but vital. The cinematography is masterful. The acting…especially when one considers that Pacino & Keaton were complete unknowns, Duval & Caan were only slightly more experienced, and the studio wanted Danny Thomas instead of Marlon Brando…is superb. Coppola has a real eye for talent. There are so many scenes that are nothing short of legendary – The Baptism…the death of Sonny Corleone…the beating of Carlo by Sonny…”Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes”…Michael’s assassination of Solozzo & McCluskey…the horse’s head. There aren’t that many memorable scenes in the average lot of 10 movies nowadays, let alone just one. My own personal favorite is the hospital scene where Michael’s quick thinking saves his wounded father from being finished off and the prodigal son softly whispers to his father “I’m with you now”. It marks the turning point and the beginning of the ascent…or descent, depending on one’s perspective…of Michael Corleone.

 

There are actual management and philosophy courses taught at universities based on The Godfather. It is well known as a great source of wisdom for all types of life situations. “It’s not personal, just business.” “Never take sides against the family.” “Leave the gun, take the cannoli.” “Never let anyone outside the family know what you are thinking.” “Keep your friends close but your enemies closer.” “Women and children can be careless, but not men.” “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.” “Gambling…they consider a harmless vice. But drugs, that’s a dirty business.” “I have a sentimental weakness for my children and I spoil them. They talk when they should listen.” “In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns.” “My father is no different than any powerful man, any man with power, like a president or senator. – Do you know how naive you sound, Michael? Presidents and senators don’t have men killed. – Oh. Who’s being naive??.” “I believe in America. America has made my fortune. And I raised my daughter in the American fashion. I gave her freedom but I taught her never to dishonor her family.” “A refusal is not the act of a friend. Certainly he can present a bill for such services; after all… we are not Communists.” “A man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man.” “A man in my position can’t afford to be made to look ridiculous.” “I don’t like violence. I’m a businessman. Blood is a big expense.” “We don’t discuss business at the dinner table.” Either Puzo or Coppola are geniuses. Maybe both. One thing is for sure though…The Godfather is that rare movie experience during which one can be entertained and educated.

 

I would be remiss if I did not mention that The Godfather is based on a book of the same name, the author being the aforementioned Mario Puzo. The book actually covers events in both of the first two Godfather films, and even expands on certain storylines such as Johnny Fontane’s career and connection to the Corleone family, Sonny’s sexual exploits, and Fredo’s adventures in Vegas. I very much enjoyed reading the book and would highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys a great novel, but I cannot go so far as to say it is better than the movie. That is not so much an indictment of the book as it is a testament to the immense quality of the movie.

 

So now we come to the end of the journey. I hope my readers have enjoyed the trek through these 100 films and may even check out some that they haven’t had the pleasure of seeing. We all have our own trials to bear in life, and we cannot always escape from the real world. But every once in awhile I believe it necessary to temporarily get away from our daily aggravations and hardships. Whether it is a good book, a long hike, good music, or an entertaining movie, we need those little mini-vacations from stress & discord. These 100 movies always provide me with that much needed respite, and I hope a good portion of them may have made your lives a bit easier on occasion as well.

 

 

 

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Fast Food, Dogs, and American Idol: The Embracing of Pop Culture Mediocrity

A few years ago before I acquired my beautiful puppy Rocco I did a fair amount of  research. I read about different breeds, what to expect from his particular breed, different training techniques and theories, etc. One of the things I learned was that, for various reasons, it is unwise to feed a dog “people food”. And more interestingly, I discovered that dogs are perfectly happy with their own food. Whereas we humans…theoretically…prefer variety (it is the spice of life), dogs couldn’t possibly care less…they just want fed. This has proven quite accurate over the years, as Rocco still gets as excited over the same food that I’ve been feeding him since early on. I did switch brands once, and we made the leap from puppy formula to adult dog food at some point, but essentially he’s been eating the same meal for three years and loving it.

 

Conversely, I recall a trip I was on with a group from my church. I don’t remember what city we were in, but we were going to grab some dinner before the conference we were attending. Conveniently there was a Ryan’s right beside our hotel. The majority rules and I am not one to make waves, so I went along with the plan to eat there, but to be honest I was disappointed. There is a Ryan’s 10 minutes from my apartment at which I can eat anytime I want. When I go out of town I like to try something different, whether it be a local establishment or a chain that isn’t available in my hometown. I wouldn’t go so far as to call myself adventurous, but I do like to mix it up a little bit and venture out ever so gently onto a limb.

 

I realize that not everyone shares my quest for something unique. After all, one of the reasons chain restaurants and stores exist is because of their comfort and predictability. A Big Mac is the same whether you’re eating at a McDonald’s in West Virginia, Montana, New York, or Florida. If someone chloroformed a person and placed them inside a WalMart when that person woke up they wouldn’t immediately know whether they were in Washington DC or the state of Washington. This is convenient & reassuring, but it is also mundane & predictable. And I guess maybe that is what society prefers nowadays. Forget exceptional, eschew excellence, and shun singularity…just give us a tired retread of something familiar and comfortable.

 

This fact became crystal clear the past several weeks as I have been watching one of my guilty pleasures, American Idol. One by one the viewers have voted a person off until we finally got down to our final pair, and then the fans chose their champion. And in so doing the masses confirmed my suspicions.

 

Now let me be clear…I am well aware that everyone has different tastes in music, but that is not what this is about. I may prefer jazz, classic rock, and easy listening, while you may lean toward country, hip-hop, and gospel. That is fine by me. But that doesn’t mean we must settle for subpar quality within whatever genre we like. I love the fact that when I am listening to some of my favorite singers or bands I immediately know their sound. Whether it is Sinatra, Dean Martin, REO Speedwagon, The Eagles, Boston, Van Halen, James Taylor, or Garth Brooks even the most fair weather fans will instantly recognize those voices. Is there any singer in the world as distinctive as Bob Dylan?? Did Fleetwood Mac with Stevie Nicks sound like any other band out there in the 70’s & 80’s?? When you hear a Barry Manilow tune do you have trouble putting your finger on who exactly the artist is?? Do you wonder for even a second who is singing that song when the local radio station plays something by Tom Petty?? No, no, no, and no.

 

One of the things I have had to endure while keeping tabs on Idol these past few months is the vitriolic animosity toward third place finisher Haley Reinhart. I chose Haley as my darkhorse awhile back, predicting that she could possibly make it to the final three. I was absolutely correct. She has a soulful, bluesy vibe and I would buy a record of hers in a heartbeat. But the drumbeat of the soccer moms has been that she screeches and growls, and the hatred for the lovely Miss Reinhart has been stunning to me. It is amazing how some folks wouldn’t know true talent if it fixed them breakfast in bed and drove them to work every day. Meanwhile hacks like Justin Beiber, Miley Cyrus, and Katy Perry rake in millions of the public’s hard earned dollars by selling scrapple but convincing people it is filet mignon. It just doesn’t make any sense to this humble Potentate of Profundity.

 

I do not have anything against newly crowned Idol winner Scotty McCreery. He seems like a nice guy. He can sing. But when I close my eyes and listen to him I hear other voices…Clint Black, Randy Travis, George Strait, Brad Paisley, Kenny Chesney, and a plethora of other male country singers that are virtually indistinguishable from one another. It’s not that I completely hate country music…I don’t. I enjoy performers like Hank Williams Jr., Sugarland, Willie Nelson, Carrie Underwood, Travis Tritt, and Faith Hill. I like voices that stand out from the crowd. Scotty McCreery does not stand out from the crowd despite looking like the love child of Alfred E. Newman and Howdy Doody. I certainly do not wish any ill will, but I think I have food in my kitchen cupboards that may last longer than Scotty’s career. Meanwhile, contestants from this just concluded season like Lauren Alaina, James Durbin, Pia Toscano, Casey Abrams, and of course Haley Reinhart all have not only the tools for success but the extra…je ne sais quoi…to atleast carve out a worthwhile niche in the market. I may be wrong, I may be right, I may be crazy. Or I just might be the lunatic you’re not looking for.

 

At any rate, regardless of the long term prospects of American Idol contestants or even the questionable validity of the show itself, what I find thoroughly intriguing is how it seems to be symptomatic of an all-encompassing move toward mediocrity. Instead of quality we gravitate toward the lowest common denominator. Bookstores are filled with cookie cutter romance novels and uninspired mysteries. Our televisions broadcast dozens of copycat “reality” shows, cops n’ robbers stories, and blatant CSI ripoffs. Strip malls are filled with the aforementioned chain stores and restaurants. Movie theaters show an endless supply of sequels…even if the original wasn’t that good to begin with…because it is easier than coming up with an original idea. And rarely does a uniquely talented musician succeed unless they are willing to either conform or market themselves using some sort of gimmick, like Lady Gaga (who herself is just a Madonna wannabe).  I am honestly not trying to be critical. Live & let live and to each their own. But personally I will continue to look for new, interesting, and genuinely good things. If others are happy consuming the same old uninspired, uncreative, mass produced, bland “comfort food” every day that’s their prerogative. It seems to work for my dog.

 

 

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Random Factoids, Or Getting To Know The Godfather of Cyberspace

I am not normally one to follow the crowd, but this seemed like a fun little challenge. It’s been a meme on Facebook for years, but my buddy Slack was my true inspiration. I’ve chosen 38 because that’s my age. This stuff may be interesting to only me, but maybe…just maybe…citizens of The Manoverse will enjoy getting to know your humble Potentate of Profundity just a little better.

 

 

 

1          I’ve never been to the beach or flown in an airplane. I hope to do both sometime relatively soon.

2          My guilty pleasures: Dancing with the Stars, professional wrestling, American Idol, and soap operas.


3          I went to a Starbucks once. That same day I rented videos from Blockbuster. I’ve never been back to either establishment. Just because something is expensive doesn’t mean it’s good.


4          In 1977 I became the first “mainstreamed” handicap child in my county. However, the powers-that-be still made me attend both a “normal” kindergarten and a class for “special” children. On the 2nd day at the “special” school the teacher called to tell my Mom that I was not mentally impaired, to which my Mom replied “I know that, but try convincing the Board of Education”. Not only was I not impaired but a few years later I was found to be gifted. Unfortunately I’ve gotten dumber over the years.

5          My initials are my name – S A M

6          I rarely wear long sleeves, even in winter…except for dress shirts. Short sleeve dress shirts look tacky.

7          Both my father and a teacher in junior high told me I should be a writer. I regret not listening to them and following that path professionally, although I suppose The Manofesto is some small morsel of redemption.


8          I liked both incarnations of Van Halen, with David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar. I don’t really count the brief Gary Cherone era.

9          Zippers frustrate me.

10       I played trombone in the band from 6th thru 12th grades. I sold my instrument 2 weeks after graduating. I wanted to play trumpet at first, but because I am sitting down all the time in a wheelchair I couldn’t really get enough wind going, so my grade school band instructor suggested trombone. It was fun, but it’s not exactly a party instrument.

11       I know very little about cars except how to drive one, and I’m not especially good at that.

12       I was once defeated in billiards by a man who was legally blind. Seriously.


13       My preferred liquor of choice was always vodka. I was never one to drink anything straight, and fruity drinks like screwdrivers or sex-on-the-beach were more my style. I am a beer snob as well…no Bud Light or Coors for this guy. However, these days I can usually be found partaking of an ice cold glass of milk, a bottle of water, or a tall glass of iced tea.


14       I sang in two talent shows in grade school. In 2nd or 3rd grade (I don’t recall exactly which year) I sang Sandy from the Grease soundtrack. In 4th or 5th grade (that fuzzy memory again) I sang Love in the First Degree by country supergroup Alabama. I didn’t win either time…atleast I don’t recall if I did.

15       I rarely wear white because I inevitably spill something on it.

16       I was ambidextrous as a child but had a teacher that “broke me” of it, as if it were a bad habit like sniffing glue or watching Pauley Shore movies. I am now right handed.


17       The infomercial for SlapChop is hysterically funny to me.


18       I really love fantasy football. Fantasy baseball…not so much.

19       I never learned how to swim or whistle.

20       I don’t particularly care for coconut or sprinkles.

21       In college I took a Shakespeare class and really rather enjoyed it. Surprisingly I found it much more interesting than my Psychology of Sex class.

22       I own a Kindle, but I still prefer the feel of a good old-fashioned book in my hand.

23       Coffee doesn’t really keep me awake.

24       I adore everything about Christmas…the lights, the music, the movies, the smells, the food, the familial togetherness, the wistful nostalgia that makes me want to be a kid again, and of course, the fact that my Lord & Savior was born and eventually died and rose again to wash away my sin.


25       My paternal great grandparents…my grandfather’s parents…both came to West Virginia separately from San Giovanni i Fiore in Calabria, Italy in the early 1900’s. There is a rumor that my great grandfather killed a man in New York before coming to WV, but nobody knows for sure.


26       Thunderstorms scared the daylights out of me as a child, but now I rather enjoy them.

27       I have had 27 surgical procedures. The first when I was a newborn, the latest when I was 35 years old. Oddly enough I still have my tonsils though.

28       Inevitably after surgery I was placed on a liquid or semi-liquid diet. To this day I don’t really like popsicles or sherbet because they bring back bad hospital memories.

29       The best concerts I have ever seen: Boston at Star Lake Amphitheater in Pittsburgh, Van Halen at the Charleston (WV) Civic Center, REO Speedwagon at the Huntington (WV) Regatta, The Eagles at Polaris Amphitheater in Columbus, OH, and Kansas at the Veterans Memorial Amphitheater in Clarksburg, WV.

30       Grapes and grape products cause me…intestinal issues, as does anything with heat, i.e. peppers, hot sauce, cayenne pepper, etc.

31       I have a strange fascination with pens and office products.

32         Movies I have never seen: Citizen Kane, 2/3 of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, On the Waterfront, Schindler’s List, The Matrix, The Big Lebowski, and the Indiana Jones series.

33       I have an irrational dislike of the number 3 and its multiples.


34       My two dream vacations are Las Vegas and Italy. I once had a “Christian” friend say to me that “I don’t know if I’d want to be walking down The Strip in Vegas when Jesus returns”. He & I don’t talk anymore, because I may want to see Wayne Newton and The Fountains at Bellagio, but atleast I have never…well, you know what…never mind. Let’s just say I know my strengths & weaknesses, and I am quite comfortable with my choice of potential leisure destinations.


35       I am not a huge fan of most seafood, but I dig sushi.

36       Speaking of which, fishing bores me, as do video games.

37       When writing anything in the form of a question I use double question marks. It’s just my thing.

38       Little things that make me smile: Snuggling with my puppy…he’s so soft, warm, and cuddly. A glass of iced tea & a gentle breeze on a warm summer day. A big win by my favorite teams – Pittsburgh Steelers, Marshall Thundering Herd, & WV Mountaineers. The aroma of Italian food. A really restful night’s sleep, even if I have my usual Wacky Dreams. Puns. Getting really into a fun & interesting book. People who do funny spot-on impressions. Deep philosophical discussions with my brother The Owl. Anything with BBQ sauce. Nascar night races. What my pal Marc calls “sippin’ music”, i.e simple, stripped down jazz or blues without a lot of extra effects. When it’s still daylight at 8pm. Trivia. Laughter, whether it is my own or someone else’s. Dessert. Nakey Time at The Bachelor Palace…even if I’m alone (which is always). Taking a really good picture. A woman with a beautiful smile, regardless of whether or not she knows I exist (she usually doesn’t). Watching golf on TV, especially the final round of a major. Getting a haircut. Popcorn & chocolate covered peanuts while watching a movie in the theater. When a really kickass song comes on the radio while I’m driving.


 

I’ll Never Walk Alone…or with Anyone Else

Nostalgia is defined as a sentimental yearning for a return to the happiness of some past period or irrecoverable condition, a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one’s life, to one’s home or homeland, or to one’s family and friends. The word itself is a merger of the Greek words for homecoming, nostos, and pain, algos. This painful longing was thought to be a medical condition called melancholy in 16th century Europe, a disorder treated with some combination of song & dance and herbs, which reminds me of college. In modern America nostalgia isn’t a disease, it’s a cottage industry. At any rate, I can be a sentimental, wistful, nostalgic sort of guy, the kind that probably remembers my childhood as far more idyllic that it really was and fondly recalls almost everything, from movies, music, and television to political candidates, automobiles, and restaurants as being far superior “back in the day” to their contemporary counterparts. Sometimes that is indeed the case, and sometimes not. Either way it’s a matter of opinion, right??

This train of thought came barreling down the tracks of my mind after the recent announcement that Jerry Lewis is retiring from his MDA Telethon after this year. The telethon has been a Labor Day tradition since 1966…six years before I was born. Not only that, but the show is being shortened from 20+ hours to just six hours. Instead of starting Sunday night immediately following the local news and being on all night and all day on Labor Day it will now be on from 6pm-Midnight Sunday night. Can it even be called The Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon if neither Jerry nor Labor Day are involved in the equation?? It is probably a moot point, because without Lewis I assume the whole thing will be scrapped eventually. Maybe the powers-that-be will atleast wait until Jerry is gone from this mortal coil before chloroforming his greatest contribution to the world…or not.

I am not sure why this news has had such an effect on me. I have seen countless television shows that I dearly loved (The Dukes of Hazzard, Cheers, Dallas, Seinfeld, etc.) become just a memory over the course of my lifetime. I am far from a technophobe, so I have happily embraced new technologies while watching old ones (landline phones, cassette tapes, Atari, ginormous floor model tube televisions) be relegated to historical artifacts. Even as a child…a child with a disability…I wondered what was so special about muscular dystrophy that it had its own telethon. It has always seemed odd to me that we didn’t put on such a spectacle to find the cure for cancer or heart disease or diabetes. Jerry Lewis is 85 years old and has been in bad health for about the last dozen years, so on an intellectual level one knows it had to end sometime. And it’s not as if the telethon has been high quality entertainment all these years. Tony Orlando hasn’t been relevant for three decades. Norm Crosby has been insignificant for even longer. I couldn’t possibly care less about Billy Gilman or Jann Carl. Ed McMahon was fun but he’s dead. Casey Kasem was cool but not that cool. But still I watch…and it makes me sad to see it end.

Maybe it’s because it has literally always been a part of my life. As much as I loved my cheesy 80’s TV I remember life before those shows, which realistically have always had a short shelf life…even the very best of them…of 5-10 years. Jerry’s telethon was already an annual ritual by the time I came into existence.

Maybe it’s because, as kitschy as it is, the telethon is a one-of-a-kind event. There is literally nothing else like it on television. So many shows, movies, and music are derivative of something better, and there is some basis for comparison, whether it be positive or negative. The telethon is an entity unto itself, and once it is gone we’ll never capture its singular cachet again. Something things are disposable, whereas some are irreplaceable.

Or maybe…just maybe…I have simply gotten to “that age”. I am not old by most definitions, but I have been around awhile. The Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon, as insignificant as it is in the grand scheme of life, is another example of something that is going away, leaving my life…dying. Like the soap operas that are my guilty pleasure but are now steadily disappearing, the various shops & restaurants of my youth that have faded away in favor of something hipper and fresher, the classic performers like Sinatra, Johnny Carson, Dale Earnhardt, John Candy, and The Junkyard Dog that are now six feet under, or erstwhile traditions like It’s A Wonderful Life being shown on TV every 5 minutes during the Christmas season, Saturday morning cartoons, $2/gallon gasoline, glass pop bottles, giving candy to dozens of trick-or-treaters on Halloween night, the U.S. space program, Dairy Queen only being open in the summer, paper bags at the grocery store, styrofoam containers at McDonald’s, and radio stations with legitimately good music, the telethon will soon take its place on the pop culture scrap heap, an embodiment of my own mortality and the steady drumbeat of time slipping into the mist.

Or maybe I dig Jann Carl more than I realized.

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100 Favorite Movies…..#2

As we reach the penultimate selection on the list of 100, I want to take a moment to thank anyone & everyone who has perused this series, whether you’ve stuck with me the whole way or just checked out an entry here and there. When the idea struck me to do this I originally thought it’d take a couple months at the most. Now here we are just about two years later, and I am kind of glad it has taken me this long, not only because I’ve seized the opportunity to write other things along the way, but also because I have enjoyed taking the time to fully digest what I find entertaining. I already knew I liked comedies and sports & Christmas movies, but in the past couple of years I have self-discovered a few other things. I like action movies better than I once did, as long as there is good character development (Lethal Weapon) and some humor thrown into the mix between the flying bullets (Die Hard). While I am not necessarily one for the traditional tearjerker, I do appreciate a certain level of poignancy and thoughtfulness (Field of Dreams, Cast Away). I love to laugh, but lean toward intelligent, well written comedy (Big, Office Space, Best in Show) rather than sophomoric hijinx.  I don’t think I fully grasped the genius of John Hughes (National Lampoon’s Vacation, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, and several others) until long after my teen years. Really great movies don’t go out of style (Casablanca, Rocky, Jaws, Star Wars, Vertigo), they age like a good bottle of scotch. I think the perfect movie would have an ensemble cast of Tom Hanks, Robin Williams, William Shatner, Meg Ryan, Kevin Spacey, Al Pacino, Kevin Costner, and Jimmy Stewart (if he were still alive). The screenplay would be written by the aforementioned Hughes and directed by Robert Zemeckis. And while Hollywood falls all over themselves trying to produce either audibly obnoxious special effects blockbusters starring pretty people with no chops that are impressive but don’t leave a lasting impression or overly pompous message films that seem to imply that having a plethora of British actors with an air of gravitas equals quality regardless of the fact that those of us in flyover country won’t be the least bit excited to catch such a pretentious snoozefest on some random cable channel on a rainy weekend afternoon three years down the road, the truth is that the best films, atleast in The Manoverse, are quieter, more minimalist offerings (Twelve Angry Men, Goobye Mr. Chips) that are well written (Glengarry Glen Ross), utilize performers that everyone will remember with fondness for decades to come (Planes, Trains, & Automobiles), and never fail to put a smile on my face (Father of the Bride I & II) or ensnare my heart with a warm glow (A Christmas Story, It’s A Wonderful Life).

All of which brings us to the #2 film on the list. It brings to the table a potpourri of everything I love. It makes me happy, it makes me sad, it makes me ponder. It is drama, comedy, a wee bit of action, and a look at history far more interesting than what we learned in school. The soundtrack is amazing, and the cast superb. It can be viewed through the prism of pure entertainment, or analyzed as an allegory full of symbolism and social commentary. Much like Field of Dreams, it is a film that I would love to have conceptualized and written myself, and have tremendous respect for those that did. This movie has vaulted to the top partly because of repeated viewings. It is on television a lot, and when it is on I cannot turn the channel. Even my Dad is mesmerized by it, and trust me…my father isn’t captivated by much.

I am speaking of the 1994 Robert Zemeckis/Tom Hanks collaboration Forrest Gump, the story of an intellectually challenged boy growing up in 1950’s Alabama. Though Forrest isn’t intelligent by academic standards (he has an IQ of 70, just above the mentally retarded line), he seems to have a mix of common sense, loyalty, and genuine empathy that allows him to make his way in the world just fine. We get to follow Forrest from grade school all the way through high school, college, and into adulthood. Along the way Gump has a lot of interesting adventures…he motivates a young Elvis Presley to dance, plays college football for the legendary Bear Bryant, innocently ignores Governor George Wallace’s attempt to stop desegregation at the University of Alabama, earns the Medal of Honor and a Purple Heart after saving the lives of most of his platoon in Vietnam, speaks at an anti-war rally (in full uniform) on The Mall in DC alongside Abbie Hoffman, hangs out with The Black Panthers, sets off the Watergate scandal with a phone call, visits China as a world class ping pong player, meets Presidents Kennedy, Johnson, & Nixon, gives John Lennon the lyrics for the song Imagine while appearing on The Dick Cavett Show, survives Hurricane Carmen becoming a shrimping mogul in the process, converts his shrimping money into billions of dollars by investing in Apple Computers, and jogs back & forth across the country multiple times while inspiring the motto “Shit Happens” and the ubiquitous Smiley Face logo with its slogan “Have A Nice Day”. That’s quite a full life for anyone, let alone a person considered to be…well…an idiot. In the midst of this very interesting life we also meet the people who help Forrest Gump become the person he becomes – his mother, a single woman whose homespun wisdom and instructions to “never let anyone tell you that you’re different” form the foundation of her son’s unaffected outlook…Jenny, the loyal, non-judgmental friend Forrest meets in grade school and loves for the rest of her life…Bubba, the almost equally simpleminded Army pal that teaches Forrest all about the shrimping business…and Lt. Dan, the superior officer whose life Forrest saves in Vietnam and who eventually becomes his “first mate”.

Out of this supporting cast it is Jenny who is most fascinating, and it is the love story of Forrest & Jenny that is at the heart of the film. Jenny’s mother died when she was very young and she is abused and presumably molested by her alcoholic father as a little girl. As an adult she becomes a stripper then a hippie, sleeping with random men and using drugs all the while. I’m no psychologist, but even though we don’t get an in depth glimpse into Jenny’s home life (the movie, afterall, is about Forrest) we can surmise that her abusive situation leads to extremely low self-esteem and an understandably skewed perspective. We all know that, under normal circumstances, a pretty girl like Jenny would never give a simpleton like Forrest the time of day, but because of her situation a genuinely good-hearted soul like him becomes her rock. In a way he saves her life as much as he saves Lt. Dan’s.

The parallel stories of Jenny & Forrest represent, for some, the Two Americas that so many politicians have campaigned about. He is the clean cut, All-American football player, war hero, and successful businessman with a kind disposition and solid values. She is sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll…an embodiment of the 60’s counterculture that, through the prism of history, has lost a lot of its romantic luster and is often viewed as the beginning of the internal destruction of our nation. I don’t know if this was intentional by the filmmakers or Winston Groom, the author of the original novel, but I am not sure it’s all that important anyway. Lots of books and movies can be examined for sociopolitical meaning or spin, and that can be fun and interesting. But I am just not one to get caught up in paralysis by analysis. I look at Forrest Gump as being original, well written, and tremendously entertaining. It is thought provoking, slightly philosophical, and poignant without going over-the-top into maudlin tearjerker territory. That’s enough for me, but if one chooses to read some sort of deep significance into every scene or snippet of dialogue have at it…the material is there.

The performances in this film are nothing short of magnificent. Tom Hanks won a well-deserved second consecutive Oscar for Best Actor. Hanks is so good that while watching the movie one is not watching an actor portray a role…Tom Hanks IS Forrest Gump. Gary Sinise, who was largely an unknown at the time other than a nice turn as George in an adaptation of John Steinbeck’s Of Mice & Men alongside John Malkovich, portrays Lt. Dan as a bitter cripple searching for answers after Forrest denies him his destiny of dying on the battlefield. Sinise was robbed at the Academy Awards, losing the Best Supporting Actor statue to Martin Landau for his turn as Bela Lugosi in Ed Wood. Landau also beat Samuel L. Jackson, who was nominated for his role in Pulp Fiction. At any rate, Forrest Gump made me a Gary Sinise fan, and he continues to be one of the most underrated actors today. Sally Field, only 10 years older than Hanks, plays Momma Gump in what may have been one of the most underappreciated roles of her career. For me it is a performance that ranks right up there with more acclaimed ones in Norma Rae (for which she won a best Actress Oscar), Smokey & the Bandit, and Steel Magnolias. Mykelti Williamson hasn’t done much since Forrest Gump, but tell me you don’t hear his voice in your head every time someone is talking about shrimp (“Shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey’s uh…shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich…”). And finally there is Robin Wright, whose portrayal of Jenny evokes sadness & sympathy in such a way that one never stops rooting for her no matter how many wrong turns she seems to take. Wright too was overlooked by the Oscar folks, which is a shame. Forrest Gump was unquestionably the best performance of her career.

I would be remiss if I did not mention the music. Forrest Gump utilizes tunes from the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s, ending up with what is a truly awesome soundtrack. Elvis, The Doors, CCR, Bob Dylan, Simon & Garfunkel, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Jimi Hendrix…and so much more. I am a big believer in the power of music making a huge difference in a movie, and here there is no doubt that it greatly enhances the experience. Sometimes it is an original score, like the theme for Jaws. Or existing songs can be used to evoke a mood and embody a certain time period, such as Saturday Night Fever, The Big Chill, or Footloose. The latter is the case here. Would the writing and the performances qualify Forrest Gump as a great film regardless?? Probably. But the outstanding music adds an important layer that takes the film from extremely good to transcendent.

The writing in Forrest Gump is like a great chess match. It is three moves ahead of the viewer at all times, setting you up for a checkmate you never see coming. There is great drama, but then there will be a scene or a line of dialogue that makes me laugh. I suppose this might keep folks uncomfortably off balance in 9 out of 10 movies, but this is the rare occasion where it works. I chuckle every time I see young Forrest listening to his mother…ummm…convince the school principal to let Forrest attend. Or when Lt. Dan, in the midst of a very powerful soliloquy about salvation asks Forrest if he has found Jesus and he sincerely replies that he didn’t know he was supposed to be looking for Him. But then before one can even stop smiling there is inevitably an introspective moment that gives one pause. There are two scenes near the end of the film that I am convinced won Hanks the Academy Award. The first is when Forrest finds out that Jenny has given birth to a now school age child and that he is the father. Overcome with emotion the first thing he asks is if the child is smart, with the implication being that he is very well aware of his own mental deficiencies. It is an extremely powerful moment…maybe one of the most moving scenes in the history of film. The second is when Jenny dies, ostensibly from HIV/AIDS, and Forrest is talking to her grave. That scene in the hands of any other performer may be cliché and overly melodramatic, but Tom Hanks hits just the right note of perfection. It is a breathtaking sequence.

Forrest Gump, much like the sociopolitical divide it may or may not represent, is black & white for many people. Some adore it, some think it detestable. I am not sure why the haters hate, but I think they are missing out. As for myself, I have grown to adore this film and have watched it countless times. It is everything a great movie should be and more. And that’s all I have to say about that.

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Osama, Obama, & The Dalai Lama

I can sometimes be a bit reactionary, which is why I have learned over the years to contemplate my thoughts for a bit…cool the engines, so to speak. There are still occassions when I express instantaneous, raw, unfiltered emotion, sometimes regretfully so. I’m working on it. But in the meantime, I always try to maintain some level of considerate decorum here at The Manofesto, which is why I decided not to immediately go off half-cocked and fire out a missive about the capture and…elimination…of Osama Bin Laden. I wanted to ponder for a day or two. In the midst of that ponderation a couple of interesting things have risen to the surface.

 

First of all, let me say God Bless America and our military. It’s hard to find any kind of silver lining in the events of September 11, 2001, but if I was forced to come up with something I would point out that over the past decade the level of respect & admiration for men in all manner of uniform…police, firefighters, soldiers…has risen sharply. As a whole I think maybe we sort of took those folks for granted pre-9/11, which is unfortunate. I hope the veneration now given to the people who literally put their lives on the line every day to protect & defend our freedom and safety remains constant. Those individuals should always be held in the highest regard.

 

I want to focus on two things that have occurred in all the celebratory commotion surrounding the long awaited capture and demise of Bin Laden, one of which makes me angry, the other which makes me think and evaluate my own thought process.

 

I was at work on the evening that the news broke. A co-worker received a text saying that Osama Bin Laden was dead. I had been crazy busy the entire evening but at that point was able to hop online and get the scoop. I was as pleased and proud as anyone. A couple of hours later I was able to watch the ongoing news coverage in the relative comfort of The Bachelor Palace. It was then that I finally saw President Barack Hussein Obama’s original press conference.

 

My disdain for the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is well known to my friends and family, many of whom disagree with my opinions. The President’s announcement was unsurprisingly peppered with “I”, “Me”, and “My”. He subtly inferred that the hunt for Bin Laden only began once he took office. As if Mr. Obama’s own self-importance wasn’t enough, the public then chimed in. The “mainstream” drive-by media…predictably…fell to their knees to fellatiate their President, as if he had singlehandedly captured Bin Laden and brought him to justice. The “ladies” of The View said there was no use to even have an election in 2012, that no Republican would be able to defeat Obama after this heroic feat. The general public was even worse. I spend a lot of time online and some of the posts I saw on Facebook and other places were horrifying. Obama was suddenly a cross between Chuck Norris and Abraham Lincoln, with enough tiger blood and Adonis DNA to make Charlie Sheen shake like Michael J. Fox at a Justin Bieber concert. Obama’s arrogance combined with the senseless adoration of the masses is a lethal cocktail of aggravation. Throw in abject hatred for former President George W. Bush & conservatives in general and pepper in a skosh of imaginary racism (because if one disagrees with Barack Hussein Obama that person MUST be a racist according to the liberal playbook), and what you have is a nation divided. On one side are those who swoon at the mere mention of the man’s name, like “journalist” Chris Matthews, who once said that Obama sent a thrill up his leg, and the infamous Peggy Joseph, who attended a campaign rally in 2008 and said she was excited because Obama was going to pay her gas bill & mortgage. On the other side are thinking Americans who have some legitimate concerns about the man’s beliefs, policies, and leadership capabilities. People are disturbed by a floundering economy, out of control spending, the growth of the federal government and its role in everyday life, high unemployment, gas prices that seem to rise almost daily, and other various issues. I am willing to have an intelligent discussion with anyone about authentic differences of opinion, but I will not give heed to mindless hero worship, especially when it is far from deserved.

 

The manhunt for Osama Bin Laden began soon after 9/11, and it was President George W. Bush who laid the groundwork. The same people who are putting Obama on a pedestal today are the ones who have been eviscerating Bush for over a decade for The War on Terror. You can’t have it both ways ladies & gentlemen. Did Obama give the final order greenlighting the raid on Bin Laden’s compound?? Yes, and kudos to him for that. But let us not forget that it was a moment that would never have been possible without many courageous decisions made by Bush years before. As more information emerges we are learning that information from “detainees” at Guantanamo Bay, gotten using “enhanced interrogation techniques”, ultimately lead to Osama Bin Laden sleeping with the fishes. This is the same Guantanamo Bay that liberals have wanted to shut down almost since Day 1 and that Obama originally stated he would close as one of the first acts of his presidency, and the same interrogation, i.e. “torture”, which the Left has been whining about for years. So while Obama worshipers around the globe are sticking out their puffed up chests and beaming with pride about what The Chosen One has accomplished, we all need to realize that what he has really done is hop in the car on the white flag lap and claim he won the race. I applaud The Obama Administration for understanding the importance and fundamental necessity of the foundation laid by their predecessors and for not kowtowing to the extremists in their base constituency, but I wholeheartedly reject the idea that we should have such rock star awe for any politician, especially when he has spent the past 3 years showing utter disdain for the very framework that eventually lead to the event for which he is now receiving enormous praise.

 

The more fascinating thing to arise from the death of Osama Bin Laden is the apparent moral ambiguity felt by some. As thousands of Americans took to the streets in Washington DC, Times Square in New York, and various other locales, others were feeling just a wee bit uncomfortable about celebrating a man’s death, even a man as undeniably evil as Bin Laden. Some have said it was too reminiscent of how the streets of towns in The Middle East  were filled with revelers thrilled about 9/11. I’ve seen quotes from Martin Luther King Jr., The Bible, and various other sentiments that basically say it is wrong to rejoice in a person’s death, regardless of who that person was and what they’d done. There are debates about whether it was murder or justice.

 

At first I was quite dismissive of this thought process, but I have since paused for reflection. My initial gut reaction was “HELL Yes!! We got that bastard!! USA!! USA!!”. To be quite honest I still lean in that direction. This is a man that masterminded a plot responsible for the senseless slaughter of over 3000 Americans. I tend to try to see the good in most people, but I liken Osama Bin Laden to Michael Myers from the Halloween movies…pure evil. I therefore don‘t really have any sympathy for the man nor am I inclined to feel one iota of remorse about his death. However, I am also a Christian (just not a very good one) and have an appreciation for philosophy, so I understand on an intellectual level why some feel the way they do, and I will even concede that they are probably better, nicer people than me. I have a lot of respect for their opinion, even if I disagree. There is a fine line between justice and revenge, and under most circumstances seeing large crowds lustily partying because of a man’s death would be a cause for concern. This is America…we ARE better than that. But the particulars of the situation are so unique that I cannot take issue with the joy expressed at the end of this long journey. I would like to think that the families of those killed in the World Trade Center, at the Pentagon, and in a field in Shanksville, PA now have some sense of closure. Nothing will ever bring their loved ones back, and the death of Osama Bin Laden may seem like a bit of a Pyrrhic victory, but it is right and it is just. To those who take exception to the jubilance, I can only say that I get it, I admire your morality, and I hope someday folks like you become a bigger influence not only in my life but in the world as a whole.

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OMG!! Rain!! Drowsiness!! High Winds!! Constipation!!

As I write this my Pittsburgh Penguins have just been eliminated from the NHL Playoffs while their best player…ostensibly the best player in the world…Sidney Crosby watched from a luxury box after having been out since January…over 4 months…with a concussion. Now I am no doctor, but four months for a concussion seems extreme to say the least. Either there is something that Penguins’ brass are not telling us, or they are playing it very very very safe. The latter is more likely, which is the point of my irritation at the moment.

 

I had already been irritated by a couple of other things lately, neither related to hockey but tangentially connected to my point, which I will eventually get around to making. First, one of the local TV stations in my area has, over the course of the past year or two, made a habit out of interrupting whatever it is I am watching with what initially sounds like a dire weather emergency…batten down the hatches, Katy bar the door, head for the hills. But when one gets past all the fancy graphics and Doppler radar what the well-meaning meteorologist has done is cut in on General Hospital to tell me it is going to rain. Really?? I don’t mean to sound like the clichéd old fogey that talks about walking to school barefoot in 3 feet of snow uphill both ways, but when I was a child we would get some pretty rockin’ thunderstorms throughout the spring & summer and we never had much of a warning. Now I will admit that it is kind of cool that technology allows one to pinpoint exactly when & where a storm is going to occur and how long it will last, but I just don’t think it is necessary. And personally I find it far less important than finding out if Elizabeth is FINALLY going to tell Lucky that he, not Nikolas, is Aiden’s father.

 

The second thing that I have been more amused than annoyed by for a few years are drug commercials. You’ve seen them…Cialis, Boniva, Nexium, Cymbalta, Chantix. They promise to cure everything from erectile dysfunction to depression to high cholesterol. Now…again with the old fogeyness…when I was a kid drugs weren’t advertised on television, or atleast I don’t recall that they were. Medication was the domain of doctors. You didn’t feel good, you went to the doctor, he prescribed something, and you picked it up at the pharmacy. When did we start allowing meds to be hocked in commercials like they are a product we are intent on selling as much of as possible instead of as little as possible (which would be preferable)?? No wonder we have a drug problem in America. And truth be told the collective effects of all these various pills are far worse for us than marijuana, which of course remains illegal. But that’s a different diatribe for another day. What’s even more sad is that, for reasons that I am sure involve whole teams of high priced attorneys, these commercials must disclose possible side effects, and it is sometimes hilarious in a macabre sort of way. After spending about half of the commercial telling us what a particular drug can do for us, a fast talking voiceover tells us in a hushed tone all the bad things the drug can do to us…upset stomach, constipation, nausea, bloating, heartburn, painful swallowing, diarrhea, joint & muscle pain, dry mouth, indigestion, a sudden & unsafe drop in blood pressure, dizziness, shortness of breath, liver problems, death. Yes, I said death. Now maybe it’s just because I hate taking pills anyway, but I have to ask myself whether or not the positive aspects of a particular medication outweigh the possible side effects, and when the side effects include death the answer becomes obvious.

 

The truth, however, is that medications have always had side effects, just as the consequences of concussions have always been there and we’ve dealt with thunderstorms and other weather occurrences since the beginning of time. The difference is now technology allows us to have an overflow of information about every conceivable issue right at our fingertips with minimal effort. We have no excuse to be ignorant about a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. The question becomes “Is that a good thing??”.

 

On the surface the answer would seem to be yes. Unlike the 19th Century it isn’t common in 2011 for 35 year olds to drop dead of diseases like scarlet fever or tuberculosis because advances in medicine have cured many things or atleast minimized the damage. And I am certainly not anti-technology. I love my television & computer, and of course how could we do much of anything without our automobiles. But I do think we can suffer from paralysis from analysis. We don’t simply go out and buy what we need anymore…we compare, look at reviews, research the product online, and listen to every “expert” on the subject we can find. Political opinions?? We let an endless array of pundits “spin” us instead of making up our own minds based on critical thinking or maybe even prayer & guidance from Above. Food?? Who the hell can eat anymore since we are told that nearly everything, including air & water, will kill us. Books?? We wait for the thumbs up from Oprah or atleast read how many stars people give it on Amazon. Movies?? Siskel & Ebert may not be around anymore (well, Ebert is still alive but his face is gone) but there are still a plethora of media types that tell us whether or not a film is good before we ever step into the theater. It is exhausting.

 

Maybe having all this information at our disposal isn’t all that swell. Maybe it just causes us more stress. I think I would rather get my medication prescribed by a doctor and not have it sold to me. If it rains I think I am smart enough to seek shelter or take any other necessary precautions. And darn it, I think that a professional athlete needs to either play or retire, not sit on the sidelines for six months because he got an owie and a bunch of suits are scared of what might happen. All of this is connected to The Nanny State and The Wussification of America, things that I have touched on more than once. We may live longer now than we ever did, but do we live better?? Is it better to live life with gusto, have fun, take chances, and throw caution to the wind for 50 years or to crawl into the corner and be scared of our own shadow for 99 years?? The answer, as usual, is probably somewhere in the middle. It is fantastic that we have medications that can legitimately make us feel better and improve our quality of life, that we can make intelligent decisions rather than playing Indian poker with our hard earned money, and that we know that we probably should wear a light jacket or bring along our umbrella. But at the same time we cannot allow our lives to be taken over by microscopic examination of every detail. The 80’s classic Risky Business gave the masses some great advice: ““Every now and then say, ‘What the heck.’ ‘What the heck’ gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.” If there is going to be a storm I’ll deal with it, but in the meantime I just really want to find out if Michael or Abby shot that scumbag Brandon or if it was in fact crazy mob boss Anthony Zacchara who we all know wants to take over the Corinthos Organization.

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The Rocco Chronicles…..Chapter 1

I honestly don’t know what took so long for this idea to form in my brain, but today I am introducing a new area here at The Manofesto dedicated to my roommate, my best little buddy, and the closest thing I have and may ever get to having a child…my dog Rocco. He’s a couple months shy of turning 3, while The Manoverse was formed in my image just over 2 years ago, so I am surprised that I didn’t feel compelled to do this right from the start. Maybe it’s just that deeper, more thought-provoking subjects are beginning to lose their luster.

At any rate, it all began on a warm and stormy July evening. I had made my way to a local Independence Day celebration featuring a symphony orchestra and fireworks. It was July 3, because the symphony never plays in our town on the actual holiday. After all, we have to import them from elsewhere because Lord knows my little hometown isn’t culturally literate enough to have its own orchestra. So on this particular night…a Thursday if memory serves me correctly…I headed to the local park for some music and explosives. As I was sitting in my usual spot I noticed that people kept going up to this couple with a rather large cardboard in their vicinity. Upon further review I noticed that all these folks were holding puppies. More specifically, pugs.

I waited until the small crowd had dissipated before checking out the scene myself. Sure enough the box contained two pugs, both about 7 weeks old. I talked to the couple, who it turned out were breeders from a nearby city. I am not one to jump into things blindly, so after holding one of the pups for a few minutes I decided that I’d ponder the issue and then atleast get the couple’s phone number at intermission. Unfortunately Mother Nature had other ideas.

Just minutes before the show was set to start it began to rain. And this was no light sprinkle…this was a deluge. I look forward to this show every year, and I really didn’t want to leave, but the vast majority of the crowd had already headed toward their vehicles so I followed suit. By the time I made it back to Big Red (my red Buick Skylark) I was soaked. I couldn’t possibly have been any wetter if I’d dove into a swimming pool. I sat in the car for a few minutes, but most folks were leaving and the storm wasn’t letting up, so I headed home, about 10-15 minutes from the park. Wouldn’t you know it, just about the time I pulled into the parking lot of my building the rain began to taper off. I went upstairs to The Bachelor Palace and turned on the TV, only to immediately see a crawl across the bottom of the screen on the local station saying that the symphony and fireworks were still on despite the weather and that the show would start in about 10 minutes. I was not a happy camper. I knew that by the time I changed out of my dripping clothes and got back to the park that not only would I have an issue with parking but I’d certainly be missing a good chunk of the show. Deciding that it was my own stupid fault for not being patient (if only I’d sat in my car back at the venue for another 10 minutes), I just chose to stay home. I had a feeling it may rain again soon anyway (I was wrong).

As if missing the symphony & fireworks wasn’t enough, it dawned on me…after I’d slipped into dry clothes…that I hadn’t gotten the number of the dog breeders. Crap!! Now I was doubly unhappy. However, occasionally a light bulb comes on in my noggin, and I had an idea. I decided to check on the website of my local paper to see if there might be an ad. Afterall, taking two (and there were 8 in the litter…2 boys & 6 girls) puppies to the park during a Fourth of July celebration couldn’t possibly be the only outlet they’d use, right?? Right I was. There was an ad!! I waited until Saturday so as not to infringe on anyone’s freedom festivities, and called to ask some questions. I had done some research online and felt like I knew the information I needed. I had known for quite some time that if I ever got a dog that pugs were high on the list. I wanted a small dog, but not a wussy dog like the ones women carry around in their purse. I had always thought that their smushed face was kind of adorable. And I liked the fact that even though they are small they are sturdy & strong…kind of manly. All of this had been a vague thought amassed somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain, but I’d never really given it serious ponderation because for the first several years I’d lived in The Bachelor Palace dogs were not allowed. However, that restriction had been lifted about 2 years previous, and pets were now permitted as long as they did not exceed certain size limitations, which was fine by me given my preference for smaller dogs anyway. Pugs were easily within acceptable parameters, yet because of my penchant for not making snap decisions I still didn’t commit to anything after the initial phone conversation with the breeder. But I was at the point where I was very seriously considering becoming a dog owner.

At this point I should mention the issue of timing. The summer of 2008 was the perfect time for me to get a dog, and I knew it. I had been out of commission for 2 years with an ulcer on my tailbone. Hospitals, “skilled” nursing facilities, surgery…it was an ordeal, but by that summer I was recovered and back out & about, trying to get back to business-as-usual. However…and this is the key…I was not back to work yet, so for a very brief window of time I had ample time to spend on training & such. I realized that in the very near future I’d have a job and it might be very difficult to have a brand spanking new puppy to take care of as well. This was the moment. I had the time, the funds, and the opportunity to get the exact kind of dog that I wanted.

A couple days later, after some heavy research about pugs, I called the breeder back and made arrangements to visit their home and choose from amongst the litter. However, I knew I wanted a male, so I really only had to choose from among two. The day after that I received a call saying that one of the males had been claimed, so now there was only one remaining and he was mine. The lady I was dealing with made mention that their family was coming back my way on Friday and they’d be happy to bring my puppy along. We made arrangements to meet at a convenient location, which we did.

The rest, as they say, is history. I will delve into that history a bit more some other time, but this is a blog, not a novel, right??

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