Italy

The Feast & The Familial

When I was a kid I was under the mistaken impression that our local Italian Heritage Festival (celebrated each Labor Day Weekend for four decades) was one of a kind, the only such celebration in the entire country. I’m not sure where I got that idea, but as an adult I learned that not only are there other Italian Festivals, but apparently some are bigger & better than ours. Ah well…so be it. At any rate, a couple of years ago our festival premiered a rom-com called Feast of the Seven Fishes, which was filmed locally just a few miles up the road. I was unable to attend the showing for reasons I won’t bore you with, but recently I found the movie on Netflix, and while it doesn’t exactly mirror my childhood experience it hit enough of the right beats to make me just a bit wistful.

 

My father always called Christmas Eve one of the biggest nights of the year in the Italian culture. My great-grandparents emigrated (separately) from San Giovanni i Fiore in the southern Italian region of Calabria and settled here in northcentral West Virginia. They had a dozen children, all of whom are gone now, but their descendants continued the Italian Christmas Eve tradition.

 

The Feast of the Seven Fishes is a celebration commemorating the wait…Vigilia di Natale…for the midnight birth of the baby Jesus. It was introduced in the United States by Southern Italian immigrants in New York City in the late 1800s. Eating seafood on Christmas Eve comes from the Catholic practice of abstaining from eating meat on the eve of a feast day. Since no meat or animal fat can be used on such day Catholics instead eat fish (typically fried in oil). The seven fishes allegedly represent different things, depending on which source one believes…the seven sacraments, the seven deadly sins, the seven days of Creation, etc. Seven is an important number in The Bible for multiple reasons. Having said that, the truth is that most Italian-American families deviate from the formula in one way or another…some serve more than seven seafood dishes, while others serve less.

 

Now here is where it gets weird…my family isn’t Catholic. I am sure my great grandparents were, and some of my extended family still are. However, my paternal grandmother wasn’t Italian, and it was she (along with several of my great aunts who married into the family) that was the churchgoer. Back in the day when she & my Papaw got married our small town had only one church and it was United Methodist. Nowadays the trek into the city where there are multiple Catholic churches is about five miles…a ten minute drive. But for Grandma and the rest of the family a century ago it was quite a trip, so it was just easier to go to the church right down the street. When my parents got married my mother started attending the same United Methodist Church, and several of my cousins did the same. I’m still related to half the congregation, which makes it extremely difficult to meet a woman.

 

At any rate, our Christmas Eve fishfest always started in mid-afternoon, and we didn’t get home until close to midnight. My grandparents lived about a mile away in a cozy coal company house because Papaw and his brothers were miners. The cooking was done in the kitchen, but there was a small dining room where we ate. Well…where the adults ate. There wasn’t enough room for everybody at the big table, so there was a kids’ table in the kitchen. My grandparents had to put picnic benches around their table to accommodate everyone because they didn’t have enough chairs…sitting in the living room and eating while watching TV simply wasn’t done back then. As a child my most fervent wish was to eat at the big table with the adults, and when I finally achieved that goal as a teenager it was a proud moment. I don’t recall everything that was on the menu, but we always had fried (breaded) oysters, calamari (squid), whiting, and baccala (salt cod…not to be confused with the Greek dessert baklava). There were meatballs and mashed potatoes as well, and my mother always made a big salad with all kinds of meat & cheese (topped with Italian dressing of course). For dessert we always had German chocolate cake (made from scratch) and my grandmother’s homemade pita piata, which is an Italian nut roll made with raisins, lots of spices, and I’m pretty sure some sort of booze is in the recipe as well. The German chocolate cake confused me as a child because we were Italian. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized that it’s a specific type of chocolate.

 

Now you’d think that the food would be the highlight of this extravaganza, but you’d be wrong. My father has told me over & over for decades that nothing is more important than family, and nothing drove that point home more than Christmas Eve. There were so many people packed into that little house. My great aunt lived right next door, and at some point in the evening her kids & grandkids would come over to visit us, and vice versa. Another great aunt lived just up the road, and oftentimes we’d visit that house as well. My maternal grandmother was widowed, so my paternal grandparents were kind enough to include her in our celebration, and only now can I truly appreciate how generous that was. She was our family, so she was family to them too. My grandfather, uncles, cousins, and father would all gather around the table after dinner and play poker, and another rite of passage for me came when I was finally allowed to participate in that game…it made me feel all manly & tough. More than any piece of fish or slice of cake that’s what I miss the most…having all of those important people in my life gathered together in one house enjoying each other’s company…talking, laughing, embracing. I wish I had a bunch of pictures & video of all of those Christmas Eves, but I don’t.

 

At some point when I was in high school or college (my memory is a bit fuzzy) the Christmas Eve fishfest was moved to my aunt’s house. It was still great, but lost a little pizazz since those other households weren’t next door or just up the holler (yes…my grandparents and much of the extended family lived in a holler…and it was a magical place, a great neighborhood). Still, the evening was always fun. But then we started losing people…my Uncle Peck, my little cousin Levi, my second cousin Jimmy, my mother, my Papaw Jim, my Grandma Pigott, my Grandma Mano. We soldiered on until 2019, when my aunt was just too ill to continue.

 

So now I spend my Christmas Eve at home by myself. No oysters, baccala, or German chocolate cake, but more importantly no mother or grandparents. In a perfect world I would have married and continued the tradition with my own children, inviting my Dad, sister, and nephews to celebrate at my house. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, that natural order of continuation hasn’t come to pass, and in a year of isolation due to the global pandemic and my own health issues I am feeling nostalgic. When I watched the Feast of the Seven Fishes film I must admit that it had me a bit verklempt. The 20-something main character has a meet-cute with a pretty girl and invites her to his family’s fishfest, and I can imagine a sequel wherein three decades later they are married and celebrating Christmas Eve with their children & grandchildren. Perhaps someday one of my nephews will marry and we’ll have some vague facsimile of The Feast at their house. I can be the crazy uncle to their bambinos and get to enjoy Christmas again thru children’s eyes, which is the way it is supposed to be. Above & beyond my own desires I want that for my father. As much as I miss our tradition I know it is an even bigger void in his life (although he’d never admit it), and I’d love to see him enjoy another Christmas Eve surrounded by love, laughter, food, & fellowship. Until then I have my memories, and I am so damn thankful for a family that always made the holiday so special. I miss them, but understand how blessed I was to have them in the first place.

 

Merry Christmas Manoverse. I hope now more than ever we all appreciate what is really important. Gifts are nice. Lights are pretty. Music & movies have the ability to touch our soul. Food keeps us alive and is a pleasantly tasty experience. But nothing is more important than family, so hug your spouse, smother the little ones in your life with kisses, appreciate your grandparents while they are still around, enjoy your aunts, uncles, cousins, and whoever else you consider La Famiglia. Take pictures & video. Capture those memories. Decades from now you’ll be glad you did. Viva bene, spesso l’amore, di risata molto. And never forget the true reason for the season…the birth of our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ.

The Rocco Chronicles…..Chapter 2

I did a more than fair amount of research about dog breeds before I ever got Rocco. I am smart enough to know that there are important differences. I know one really should match their lifestyle to a particular breed. Fortunately for me the very kind of dog I wanted fit almost perfectly into my life. Pugs are great apartment dogs and relatively low maintenance. The only drawback is the copious volume of shedding, which I don’t like but I’ve learned to just deal.

Anyway, one thing about my lifestyle is that I am a homebody. I go to work, I come home. Occasionally I have to do necessary things like grocery shopping or other errands. Sometimes I may get crazy and visit to the bookstore at the mall, go out to eat with my Dad, or see a movie at the local Cineplex. That’s pretty much it. I used to be quite involved with the church of my boyhood, but I am currently taking a hiatus from organized religion so I don’t even leave the abode for that stuff anymore. Therefore I spend a lot of time hanging out with Rocco. And the interesting thing is that there are two Roccos.

Because I probably don’t take him out & about as much as I should Rocco gets v-e-r-y excited on the rare occasions when he is around other folks. He’s extremely friendly. We were outside my apartment building once and a stranger asked me if Rocco would bite and I said “No. He may lick you to death but he doesn’t bite.” Another time he honest to goodness was quite ready to hop into one of my neighbors’ vehicle with him. My Dad is my most frequent visitor and Rocco flips out for his Papaw. Bounces off the walls.

But then there is the other Rocco…the one that only I see. As much as Rocco gets excited when my father comes over, Dad probably isn’t even to his truck yet when he leaves before Rocco is laying on my lap asleep. He is a very gentle, very easy going dog…when he’s just hanging with me. I absolutely adore looking at the cute little face when he gets sleepy…seeing those big eyes get heavy as he tries valiantly to stay awake. And for some reason I find it hilarious that he yawns just like a human.

I can’t help but wonder as he lay on my lap snoring even louder than I do what he is dreaming about. I am not sure he has ever seen a cat, so I don’t think he’s chasing kitties in his dreams. I’d lean toward something food related. I also wonder what he’s thinking when he’s sitting there listening to me talk. Yes, I talk to my dog. Maybe I need a girlfriend worse than I thought, but that’s beside the point. Rocco has a great poker face. I can’t tell if he is actually enjoying listening to me drone on about my day or if he is thinking about his breeder and his Momma and wondering how in the hell he ended up with this freaky dude that won’t shut up. I’d like to think that he is the happiest, most content puppy on the planet, but sometimes he does look at me sort of quizzically, as if he’s waiting on the SWAT Team to free him from his captor.

Basically what it boils down to is this: Rocco sleeps, eats & drinks, goes potty, licks anything & everything, and lays on my lap “listening” and saving me a fortune in therapy bills. No job. No societal expectations. No moral dilemmas. No decisions. No financial burdens. No putting up with people’s BS (except mine). It’s a dog’s life, and it seems like a pretty sweet deal.

Random Factoids, Or Getting To Know The Godfather of Cyberspace

I am not normally one to follow the crowd, but this seemed like a fun little challenge. It’s been a meme on Facebook for years, but my buddy Slack was my true inspiration. I’ve chosen 38 because that’s my age. This stuff may be interesting to only me, but maybe…just maybe…citizens of The Manoverse will enjoy getting to know your humble Potentate of Profundity just a little better.

 

 

 

1          I’ve never been to the beach or flown in an airplane. I hope to do both sometime relatively soon.

2          My guilty pleasures: Dancing with the Stars, professional wrestling, American Idol, and soap operas.


3          I went to a Starbucks once. That same day I rented videos from Blockbuster. I’ve never been back to either establishment. Just because something is expensive doesn’t mean it’s good.


4          In 1977 I became the first “mainstreamed” handicap child in my county. However, the powers-that-be still made me attend both a “normal” kindergarten and a class for “special” children. On the 2nd day at the “special” school the teacher called to tell my Mom that I was not mentally impaired, to which my Mom replied “I know that, but try convincing the Board of Education”. Not only was I not impaired but a few years later I was found to be gifted. Unfortunately I’ve gotten dumber over the years.

5          My initials are my name – S A M

6          I rarely wear long sleeves, even in winter…except for dress shirts. Short sleeve dress shirts look tacky.

7          Both my father and a teacher in junior high told me I should be a writer. I regret not listening to them and following that path professionally, although I suppose The Manofesto is some small morsel of redemption.


8          I liked both incarnations of Van Halen, with David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar. I don’t really count the brief Gary Cherone era.

9          Zippers frustrate me.

10       I played trombone in the band from 6th thru 12th grades. I sold my instrument 2 weeks after graduating. I wanted to play trumpet at first, but because I am sitting down all the time in a wheelchair I couldn’t really get enough wind going, so my grade school band instructor suggested trombone. It was fun, but it’s not exactly a party instrument.

11       I know very little about cars except how to drive one, and I’m not especially good at that.

12       I was once defeated in billiards by a man who was legally blind. Seriously.


13       My preferred liquor of choice was always vodka. I was never one to drink anything straight, and fruity drinks like screwdrivers or sex-on-the-beach were more my style. I am a beer snob as well…no Bud Light or Coors for this guy. However, these days I can usually be found partaking of an ice cold glass of milk, a bottle of water, or a tall glass of iced tea.


14       I sang in two talent shows in grade school. In 2nd or 3rd grade (I don’t recall exactly which year) I sang Sandy from the Grease soundtrack. In 4th or 5th grade (that fuzzy memory again) I sang Love in the First Degree by country supergroup Alabama. I didn’t win either time…atleast I don’t recall if I did.

15       I rarely wear white because I inevitably spill something on it.

16       I was ambidextrous as a child but had a teacher that “broke me” of it, as if it were a bad habit like sniffing glue or watching Pauley Shore movies. I am now right handed.


17       The infomercial for SlapChop is hysterically funny to me.


18       I really love fantasy football. Fantasy baseball…not so much.

19       I never learned how to swim or whistle.

20       I don’t particularly care for coconut or sprinkles.

21       In college I took a Shakespeare class and really rather enjoyed it. Surprisingly I found it much more interesting than my Psychology of Sex class.

22       I own a Kindle, but I still prefer the feel of a good old-fashioned book in my hand.

23       Coffee doesn’t really keep me awake.

24       I adore everything about Christmas…the lights, the music, the movies, the smells, the food, the familial togetherness, the wistful nostalgia that makes me want to be a kid again, and of course, the fact that my Lord & Savior was born and eventually died and rose again to wash away my sin.


25       My paternal great grandparents…my grandfather’s parents…both came to West Virginia separately from San Giovanni i Fiore in Calabria, Italy in the early 1900’s. There is a rumor that my great grandfather killed a man in New York before coming to WV, but nobody knows for sure.


26       Thunderstorms scared the daylights out of me as a child, but now I rather enjoy them.

27       I have had 27 surgical procedures. The first when I was a newborn, the latest when I was 35 years old. Oddly enough I still have my tonsils though.

28       Inevitably after surgery I was placed on a liquid or semi-liquid diet. To this day I don’t really like popsicles or sherbet because they bring back bad hospital memories.

29       The best concerts I have ever seen: Boston at Star Lake Amphitheater in Pittsburgh, Van Halen at the Charleston (WV) Civic Center, REO Speedwagon at the Huntington (WV) Regatta, The Eagles at Polaris Amphitheater in Columbus, OH, and Kansas at the Veterans Memorial Amphitheater in Clarksburg, WV.

30       Grapes and grape products cause me…intestinal issues, as does anything with heat, i.e. peppers, hot sauce, cayenne pepper, etc.

31       I have a strange fascination with pens and office products.

32         Movies I have never seen: Citizen Kane, 2/3 of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, On the Waterfront, Schindler’s List, The Matrix, The Big Lebowski, and the Indiana Jones series.

33       I have an irrational dislike of the number 3 and its multiples.


34       My two dream vacations are Las Vegas and Italy. I once had a “Christian” friend say to me that “I don’t know if I’d want to be walking down The Strip in Vegas when Jesus returns”. He & I don’t talk anymore, because I may want to see Wayne Newton and The Fountains at Bellagio, but atleast I have never…well, you know what…never mind. Let’s just say I know my strengths & weaknesses, and I am quite comfortable with my choice of potential leisure destinations.


35       I am not a huge fan of most seafood, but I dig sushi.

36       Speaking of which, fishing bores me, as do video games.

37       When writing anything in the form of a question I use double question marks. It’s just my thing.

38       Little things that make me smile: Snuggling with my puppy…he’s so soft, warm, and cuddly. A glass of iced tea & a gentle breeze on a warm summer day. A big win by my favorite teams – Pittsburgh Steelers, Marshall Thundering Herd, & WV Mountaineers. The aroma of Italian food. A really restful night’s sleep, even if I have my usual Wacky Dreams. Puns. Getting really into a fun & interesting book. People who do funny spot-on impressions. Deep philosophical discussions with my brother The Owl. Anything with BBQ sauce. Nascar night races. What my pal Marc calls “sippin’ music”, i.e simple, stripped down jazz or blues without a lot of extra effects. When it’s still daylight at 8pm. Trivia. Laughter, whether it is my own or someone else’s. Dessert. Nakey Time at The Bachelor Palace…even if I’m alone (which is always). Taking a really good picture. A woman with a beautiful smile, regardless of whether or not she knows I exist (she usually doesn’t). Watching golf on TV, especially the final round of a major. Getting a haircut. Popcorn & chocolate covered peanuts while watching a movie in the theater. When a really kickass song comes on the radio while I’m driving.