Happy Halloween Manoverse!! My trick-or-treating days are way way way in the rear view mirror, and since I have no children of 
my own and no crumb crunchers will be visiting the ol’ Bachelor Palace I’ll be spending the evening with Boris Karloff, Abbott & Costello, and Washington Irving. However, y’all know that I have an active sweet tooth and never pass up an opportunity to discuss junk food. Candy Corn seems to receive a lot of unnecessary wrath this time of year, and I recently remarked to a friend of mine that I could easily name a dozen sweet treats which I find much more revolting. That set the wheels in motion, and the result is what follows. So sit back, relax, and prepare to edit your shopping list for tomorrow’s discount candy binge, as I present…..
from the home office in Hershey, PA…..
The Superfluous 7 Worst Halloween Candies:
7 Whoppers
Whoppers come in at #7 because they do actually contain chocolate, which is a good thing. However, it’s what is underneath those little chocolate balls that I can’t get past. Malted milk?? What in the world is malted milk?? Well…apparently it is “a powdered gruel made from a mixture of malted barley, wheat flour, and evaporated whole milk” originally developed as “an improved, wheat- and malt-based nutritional supplement for infants”. So basically Whoppers are chocolate covered oatmeal. No thanks.
6 Tootsie Rolls
I’ve always been confused by Tootsie Rolls. Is it caramel?? Is it chocolate?? I guess it’s chocolate caramel?? I don’t know. The candy’s creator named it after his daughter, whose nickname was Tootsie. That’s nice, but I still can’t get into it. Given a choice I’d pick candy corn every time.
5 Bubble Gum 
I am a big fan of chewing gum, but I cannot stand the taste of bubble gum. That’s probably why I never learned to blow bubbles. Also, if you’re going to turn on your porch light and welcome the neighborhood youngsters at the door let’s not be cheap. Handing out bubble gum is about a half step above those evildoers who kept giving Charlie Brown rocks.
4 Heath Bars & Skor
Much like Tootsie Rolls I am a bit flummoxed by these two, and just like Whoppers yummy chocolate on the outside masks the insidious 
wickedness hiding beneath 
the surface. What is underneath that chocolate is toffee, a concoction “made by caramelizing sugar or molasses (creating inverted sugar) along with butter, and occasionally flour. The mixture is heated until its temperature reaches the hard crack stage of 149 to 154 °C (300 to 310 °F)”. It’s that hard crack stage that I want to focus on. I bet if we did some market research we’d find out that Halloween distribution of Heath Bars and Skor is part of a sinister plot from Big Dental. I realize that eating enough sugary snacks will increase the bottom line for dentists everywhere over the course of time, but hey, why not hasten the process and force the rugrats to come in for a visit to get that cracked tooth repaired, right??
3 Licorice
Licorice seems to be an all or nothing proposition. Either you love it or hate it. Whether it’s Twizzlers, Red Vines, or any other brand, I fall into the latter category. Once again, I’ll take candy corn every single time.
2 Gummy & Chewy Candy
You know what I’m talking about. There are a hundred different brands out there. Jujubes. Sour Patch Kids. Dots. Mike & Ike. AirHeads. Swedish Fish. They tend to be fruit flavored and have a weird, gelatinous, jelly-esque consistency, which I find rather gross. The only place I ever see them prominently displayed is at the movie theater concession stand. I suppose there are some folks that buy them, but I’m not sure I could be friends with or ever truly trust such individuals.
1 Hard & Sour Candy
Here we have a two sides of the same coin situation, with the common thread being there isn’t a speck of chocolate anywhere in sight. This is a movie theater’s version 
of counter-programming. Y’all know how at Christmastime, while other TV channels are airing non-stop Christmas movies, there is always one station that does a John Wayne marathon?? While most of polite & intelligent society is spending their candy money on a wide variety of chocolate bars, there are a handful of savages who go in the opposite direction and choose to consume stuff like Good & Plenty, Warheads, Nerds, Skittles, Lemonheads, SweeTarts, Smarties, & Runts. Those people aren’t normal, and I bet they’re the ones who commit most of the violent crimes in our country.
My apologies for the brief hiatus I’ve taken from 
After receiving a first round bye Apollo 13 defeated John Candy’s underrated rom-com Only the Lonely in Round 2. Most of the attention is…obviously…given to Tom Hanks, as well as his fellow “astronauts” Kevin Bacon, Bill Paxton, & Gary Sinise. The Academy showed some love to Ed Harris & Kathleen Quinlan by giving them Oscar nominations in supporting categories (Harris lost to Kevin Spacey for his role as Verbal Kint/Keyser Soze in The Usual Suspects, while Quinlan lost to Mira Sorvino for Mighty Aphrodite). However, Apollo 13 features a large ensemble that really brings everything together. Character actors like Joe Spano, Chris Ellis, Marc McClure, Brett Cullen, Clint Howard, Loren Dean, & Christian Clemenson portray NASA officials. Ron Howard’s mother plays Jim Lovell’s mother Blanche. The kids portraying Lovell’s children aren’t given much to do but they do it well. These are the kinds of performances that are important in helping the viewer escape reality and really get into a movie. The film was also nominated for an Oscar for Best Original Dramatic Score, 
and the music does play a vital role. It’s a shame Apollo 13 only won two of the nine Academy Awards for which it was nominated. One never knows about such things…perhaps if it’d been released a year earlier or later it might have swept all of those awards and be considered one of the greatest films of all time. The Mask got past PCU in the first round and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective in Round 2. Unlike a large ensemble film The Mask is all about Jim Carrey (and to a lesser degree the hotness of Cameron Diaz). His talent (and some unique special effects) are the engine that makes the movie go. It’s a fun & somewhat memorable film, but hardly transcendant.
Good Will Hunting got a first round bye and then defeated Adam Sandler’s Big Daddy in Round 2. The main attraction for me is the presence of Robin Williams in a role that finally won him an Oscar. I recently finished a great biography of Williams, and it was said in that book that at some point Williams began to take some heat from critics for playing sentimental & sympathetic roles that forced him to hide is well-known comic frenzy, but I think he was just so determined to be taken seriously as an actor that he didn’t think it wise to play zany comic characters. It was a balancing act with which he struggled his entire career. Batman Returns beat Showgirls in Round 1 and emerged from a second round triple threat against Pretty Woman & What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?. It has now gotten as far as its predecessor did in 80’s Movie Mania. I’ve read many opinions stating that Returns is actually better than 1989’s Batman, but I feel like it is less memorable. Of course the original featured Jack Nicholson’s superb performance as The Joker, which is hard to beat. Returns tries to match it with three villains…Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman, Danny DeVito’s Penguin, & Christopher Walken’s Max Shreck, a wealthy industrialist whose plans to build a chemical plant in Gotham City are derailed by Bruce Wayne, who then responds by backing The Penguin as a mayoral candidate to get what he wants. It is my understanding that the Schreck 
character was created when Billy Dee Williams, who portrayed Harvey Dent in the original film, decided not to return. I assume that Dent would have morphed into Two-Face, something that did occur when Tommy Lee Jones assumed the role in Batman Forever. I really like Penguin’s origin story in Returns, and of course Pfeiffer is the best Catwoman since Julie Newar & Eartha Kitt in the 60’s. Walken’s presence as Shreck feels out of place and somewhat misguided, although I’m not sure Dent’s presence would have been an improvement. Three villains is just too much in a Batman movie.
After Groundhog Day received a first round bye then got past Clueless in Round 1 I said that “I am busting at the seams to say everything I want to say” about it. The cool thing about Groundhog Day is that one can choose to view it from two different angles, and seeing it thru one prism doesn’t exclude a person from enjoying it thru the other. It works as a comedy based on Bill Murray’s sardonic wit, quirky supporting characters, & a unique situation. However, it really shines as an existential examination of life itself. One must realize that weatherman Phil Connors is stuck repeating the same day…depending on which theory one chooses to embrace…dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of times. One story I ran across awhile back estimated that Connors spends over thirty years in Punxsutawney just repeating February 2nd over & over & over. In that time he goes thru a whole range of emotions…confusion, bewilderment, anger, depression. He experiences it all. At first he uses the situation to his advantage, attempting to bed a beautiful woman and making a pass at his lovely co-worker Rita. Phil steals money, drives recklessly, & drinks heavily because he realizes there are no consequences for his actions. But then he becomes depressed and attempts to commit suicide multiple times. However nothing he tries works, and eventually he has a revelation. He accepts his weird circumstance and decides to use his time to learn new things, help people, become a better man, & woo Rita the right way. You see, Groundhog Day is not just another comedy…it’s a morality play about 
redemption, happiness, self-improvement, generosity, community, & love. American Pie got a first round bye then defeated Armageddon in Round 2, in no small part because the cast of Armageddon has been scornful of their own movie so I am not inclined to defend it if they don’t. American Pie is a generational teen sex comedy in the grand tradition of Animal House, Porky’s, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, & Risky Business. It might not be a high bar to aspire to, but then again I suppose it’s better to be remembered for gross out humor & delinquent hijinks than not be remembered at all like so many movies. The cast has gone on to do other noteworthy work, but American Pie will always be their legacy. A few sequels were made and they’re…okay…but the original stands on its own as one of the best comedies of its era.
You’ve Got Mail received a first round bye then upended The Firm in Round 2. Greg Kinnear has carved out a nice little career for himself, with roles in charming fare like As Good As it Gets and Little Miss Sunshine. Parker Posey is oftentimes one of the only good things about a bad movie in stuff like Mixed Nuts, but also shines in ensemble mockumentaries like A Mighty Wind, Best in Show, & Waiting for Guffman. Neither star will ever shine as brightly as Tom Hanks or Meg Ryan, but they play key roles in You’ve Got Mail. Aladdin is a great film, but suffers from the same problem as 
we walk out of a theater thinking a movie was just alright, but a decade or two later it’s become a cult classic that we love and have watched countless times?? That’s why repeat viewings are crucial in my opinion. There are so many factors that play into one’s enjoyment of a movie that I truly believe it often takes time for appreciation to develop. Robin Williams was brilliant and his performance makes Aladdin great…but that is an opinion that I formed 25 years ago and I can’t be sure that it hasn’t changed. A live action remake with Will Smith as The Genie is scheduled to hit theaters next spring, and I’ll probably check it out.
Better late than never, right?? Well okay…technically I’m not late, but I am cutting things a little too close for comfort. I’ve been a strange mix of busy & lazy this week, and just haven’t had the inclination to write. However, there’s nothing like a deadline to get the juices flowing. Last week was another weak effort, with both Zach(1-4) and myself (2-3) failing to meet our high standards. Sincerest wishes for a happy & safe Halloween. Your Humble Potentate of Profundity is way too old to trick or treat, I have no children, and no kids come begging for candy in my apartment building. Since I’m not a costume party kind of guy I’ll probably spend the evening watching old monster movies…and then I’ll go out the next day and buy a bunch of discounted candy.
There is no denying that the Boilermakers pulled off possibly the biggest upset of the season last week when they beat Ohio St….but are they the real deal?? After starting the season 0-3b (including a loss to Eastern Michigan) Purdue has reeled off four straight victories. I’m sure there is a logical explanation for this turn of fortune, but quite honestly I just don’t feel motivated to do the required research. The Spartans are coming off a tough loss to in-state rival Michigan, and at 4-3 their season has been more of a roller coaster than the bipolar campaign of their opponents. I am inclined to believe that Purdue simply played out of their freakin’ minds against the Buckeyes and aren’t truly that good, and I also can’t ignore the home field advantage. Conversely, Zach is all in on Purdue and believes they’ll find a way to score a close win.
The Hawkeyes are sneaky good. At 6-1 they have only a loss to Wisconsin as a blemish and have snuck into the Top 20. Meanwhile, the Nittany 
Lions have dropped two out of their last three games. In my pre-season poll I opined that “Happy Valley might be somewhat less happy in 2018 since Saquon Barkley is now toting the rock for the NY Giants. That doesn’t mean that the Nittany Lions will fall completely off the map, but for me it does take them out of the conference title discussion.”. I ranked them #21, and they currently sit at #17 with Wisconsin & Michigan on the horizon, which means that this is a must-win game for them. I might give Iowa a puncher’s chance if they had the home field, but I just don’t foresee an upset in this scenario. Zach again is going against the grain. He believes that Iowa is better than people realize and Penn St. isn’t as good as everyone thinks. He’s not completely ruling out a Nittany Lions victory, but doesn’t think they’ll cover if they do win.
The Rams have been a machine thus far, cruising to an undefeated record and scoring 30+ pointy/game. They don’t appear to have any glaring weaknesses. The Packers are 3-2-1 and certainly not used to being nine point underdogs. For Los Angeles this could be a statement game…an opportunity to put to rest any doubts that some may still have about the team’s validity. For Green Bay the game is a chance to get back on track and soothe the misgivings of the faithful. The points make me nervous, but my vibe is that the Rams will treat this like a playoff game and seize their opportunity to really grab everyone’s attention. Zach likes the Rams as a legit Super Bowl contender, but can’t overlook the fact that they are facing Aaron Rodgers. He likes LA to win…but doesn’t think they’ll cover the points.
2018, as New Orleans is 5-1 & leads the NFC South, while Minnesota is a disappointing 4-2-1, although they still sit atop the NFC North for now. This feels like a crossroads game for both teams. Neither can rest on their laurels and cruise to a division title or the playoffs. So who will take control of their destiny?? I think the Saints will be seeking revenge for that playoff loss, so look for to have a huge game and lead his team to a comfortable victory. Zach concurs.
I’m running a little behind this week and am thankful we didn’t pick any Thursday games. I have no excuse except pure laziness, which happens sometimes. I suppose with my Steelers on their bye week and my Mountaineers off as well after an embarrassing beatdown last weekend I’m just not all that excited about football at the moment, but I’ll get over it. Speaking of beatdowns, last week both myself (3-2) and Zach (2-3) continued our epic mediocrity, proving once again that, as much fun as it may be, we’re really not very good at this.
rooting for them to lose. Zach & I both agree that nobody is beating Alabama (not yet anyway), but I am intrigued by the points. So far this season The Tide has won seven games by an average of 30.5 points per game. Of course Tennessee is a step up in competition from teams like Arkansas St. & Louisiana-Lafayette, but not as good as Ole Miss and Texas A&M, both of which were beaten easily by Alabama. The wildcard is the health of Tide starting QB Tua Tagovailoa, who left last week’s game with a knee injury. Having former starter Jalen Hurts as a backup means the team won’t be negatively impacted all that much, but the offense would be undeniably less dynamic. My vibe is that Tua will start but will get dinged up and come out of the game at some point, so I’m going to roll the dice and guess that ‘Bama’s victory will be by 21-28 points. Zach concurs.
Mountaineer fans here in WV were denied an opportunity to see the Wolfpack in action due to Hurricane Florence, but they’ve steamrolled to a 
5-0 record against mediocre competition, including my alma mater the Marshall Thundering Herd. Their first legit test comes in Death Valley against the 6-0 Tigers who are once again in the playoff conversation despite a bit of a quarterback brouhaha a few weeks ago. Once again I don’t expect an upset but am intrigued by the points. Clemson is winning games by an average of more than 27 points per game, although they have had a couple of close calls…a two point victory over A&M and beating Syracuse by just four points. It just depends on how one view NC St. Are they a legit Top 25 team…or are they pretenders propped up by a soft schedule?? I think I lean toward the latter. Zach doesn’t believe that Clemson is as good as everyone seems to think they are and feels like NC St. will give it a good go before losing a close game.
Panthers haven’t been too impressive either. Both teams are going to have an issue just winning their division and making the playoffs. I’m not sure what to think about this game, but I suppose I’ll lean in the direction of the home field. Zach concurs.
So if the College Football Playoff were to be played right now the four combatants would be Alabama, Georgia, Ohio State, & Clemson, and if the Super Bowl was on the immediate horizon it looks like the Los Angeles Rams vs. the Kansas City Chiefs might be a likely matchup. Of course there is a lot of football left to be played and I expect some big changes along the way. I had a better week (3-2) than Zach (1-4) and have taken back the season lead, but that’ll probably change a lot in the next couple of months as well.
expectations for the Vols, and at 2-3 they’ve not altered that outlook. Auburn will win this game…the only question is by how much?? If it were being played on Knoxville I might give Tennessee a puncher’s chance of keeping things close, but that’s not going to happen at Jordan-Hare Stadium. Zach believes that Tennessee will keep things respectable for three quarters but Auburn will pull away and win big.
This is the Sunday night game on NBC, and I’d definitely take the over…if you’re into that sort of thing. The 3-2 Pats seem to have found their 
footing after a shaky start to the season, which is bad news for the rest of the AFC. However, the Chiefs are undefeated and looked rather impressive defeating the Jacksonville Jaguars last week. I’m sure the TV folks would love to see a track meet where both teams score 40+ points, and that may happen. The winner will likely be decided by turnovers, penalties, & atleast one big defensive stand. I try to put emotion aside when making these picks, but I can’t deny that I am rooting for KC…hard. Zach figures that Chiefs’ QB Patrick Mahomes has to have a bad game at some point, so it may as well be this weekend.
It’s my birthday y’all!! However, the difference between 23 and 46 is that doing these picks will be the highlight of my day, sandwiched between doing laundry and going to work later tonight. Adulting really isn’t much fun sometimes. And speaking of no fun…last week was pretty brutal. Zach (4-4) bested me (3-5) and has now taken the season lead. Both of us are still below .500, but for now we’re not going to chase wins with bonus picks.
Sooners have steamrolled thru a fairly mundane schedule and haven’t missed former QB Baker Mayfield at all. The Longhorns are 4-1, but wins over USC & TCU have created a ripple of excitement in Austin, TX that’s been missing for several years. This is a neutral site game being played at the old Cotton Bowl in Dallas, which means no discernible home field advantage for either team. Oklahoma has looked unstoppable thus far, but this will be their first legit test. Texas has shown a spark here & there the past few seasons, but it never amounts to anything. So this appears to be a crossroads for both teams. I don’t know who will come out on top, but I believe that the victor will win by less than a touchdown. Zach concurs. He believes this game will be a high scoring affair with very little defense.
Kentucky is good…at football?? We have to go all the way back to 1984 for the last 9 win season for the Wildcats, but at 5-0 it looks like that is a 
reasonable goal. And with wins over Florida & Mississippi St. we can’t say their schedule has been soft. A&M is 3-2 under new $75 million head coach Jimbo Fisher, which probably has the folks in College Station dissatisfied, but they need to be patient. I’m a little surprised by the points. I know all about The Twelfth Man at A&M, and it’s no shock that folks are a bit hesitant to buy into Kentucky just yet, but a six point spread seems a bit disrespectful. Having said that, I have to go with the favorites. Zach is looking forward to a close game but believes Kentucky is legit.
In the early rounds of 
After receiving a first round bye Forrest Gump got past Presumed Innocent in Round 2 in a contrast of two films based on novels. As good as Presumed Innocent the movie is the book is way better. Conversely, I’ve heard mixed reviews of Forrest Gump the book, to the point that I’m afraid to read it and have it ruin my feelings about the movie. The book’s author actually wrote a sequel called Gump & Co., but thus far it hasn’t been translated to film and it probably won’t be, especially since Tom Hanks has expressed misgivings about portraying the title character again. My affection for Forrest Gump is such that I am amazed that it isn’t universally loved, but there are detractors out there. It’s 72% Rotten Tomatoes score is good, but nowhere near some other films in the competition that have ratings of 90% or more. Some folks think it is manipulative, overly sentimental, tiresome, & not as historically accurate as it could’ve been. There is no shortage of people who believe that Pulp Fiction or The Shawshank Redemption should’ve won the Academy Award for Best Picture as well as the Oscars for Best Actor & Best Director. I disagree with all of that. Even my father loves Forrest Gump, and trust me…Dad & I rarely share similar tastes in entertainment. Die Hard: With a Vengeance wouldn’t even be in this competition if it had 
been the final Die Hard film since trilogies are disqualified. Alas, two additional (subpar) movies were made in the series with one last hurrah allegedly on the way, so Vengeance gets its well-deserved kudos. The difference between this third entry and its predecessor…1990’s Die Hard 2…is the addition of Samuel L. Jackson as Detective McClane’s reluctant sidekick. It was Jackson’s follow-up to Pulp Fiction and immediately preceded his role in A Time to Kill, meaning he was on a pretty good roll at the time. The filmmakers knew they had to mix things up in the third film because Die Hard 2 was a fairly tepid rehash of the original premise. Jackson breathes new life into the story, injecting additional humor & attitude. He & Bruce Willis play off of each other quite well.
This is a tough one. I love The Wedding Singer because of its many nods to 80’s pop culture that stir up memories of my long lost youth. The soundtrack is fantastic, with songs from the likes of Culture Club, The Police, Elvis Costello, The Thompson Twins, Billy Idol (who also has a fun cameo in the movie), Spandau Ballet, Hall & Oates, The Cure, Kool & The Gang, Bruce Springsteen, and a few others. That’s quite a lineup. I also want to give a nod to brief appearances by Jon Lovitz & Steve Buschemi. I normally find Lovitz unamusing and mostly dreadful, but his scene in The Wedding Singer is actually quite entertaining. I’m kind of surprised that someone didn’t come up with the idea of a sequel starring Buschemi & Lovitz as new wedding singers. It is my understanding that the film was adapted into a stage musical (kind of a reverse Rock of Ages situation), and I must say that I’d totally go see that show. The Fugitive got past Joe Versus the Volcano in Round 2, which broke my heart because I feel like JVtV is a profound & underappreciated gem. Conversely, appreciation abounds for The Fugitive, with a damn near perfect 96% score from the critics and seven Oscar nominations. I’ve watched The Fugitive countless times, but there is a 
scene in which Dr. Kimble finds himself in the stairwell of a huge building facing off against Lt. Gerard before narrowly escaping thru downtown Chicago’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade, and no matter how many times I’ve seen it I still feel a palpable sense of drama and tension. Actually there are a few scenes like that, and when a filmmaker can still make the viewer buy into the suspense even when we’ve seen it a bunch of times and know exactly what’s going to happen…well folks, that’s what I call great entertainment.
Back to back Sandler…which nowadays would be a cringe worthy waste of time, but two decades ago that wasn’t the case. Unlike The Wedding Singer, which is a more subdued & pleasant performance, Billy Madison is full on Sandler being Sandler, playing the kind of infantile ne’er-do-well that has largely defined peoples’ perception of him as an actor. This film & Happy Gilmore will always be the first two things that pop into the average cinephile’s mind when Sandler is the topic of conversation, and I don’t think that’s such a terrible thing. Fans of The West Wing will appreciate Bradley Whitford’s appearance as devious businessman Eric, Billy’s nemesis. 
budget for 1999’s highest grossing film… Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace…was over $115 million and it made $431 million. But Office Space would find new life on home video and come to be appreciated by anyone who has ever worked in an office environment, which is obviously a lot of people. It is one of the most quotable films of the 90’s, and has characters & situations that are very relatable. Jennifer Aniston was & is the film’s biggest star since she was right in the middle of her run on the 
There’s a 
and morticians & undertakers, and these two movies could merit a similar appraisal. Both are amiable comedies that did well enough to spawn affable sequels. Both star older comedic actors instead of hot young Hollywood flavors of the month. Both did surprisingly well at the box office, while critics liked but didn’t love both films. I absolutely adore both films and will watch them whenever they’re on television, and sometimes I’ll stream one or the other when I’m bored & in the mood for a good flick. These are what I call comfort food movies. They warm the cockles and make me smile, which is all I really need a movie to do.
The Manofesto 