It’s the Great Pumpkin

Superfluous 7: Worst Halloween Candies

Happy Halloween Manoverse!! My trick-or-treating days are way way way in the rear view mirror, and since I have no children of my own and no crumb crunchers will be visiting the ol’ Bachelor Palace I’ll be spending the evening with Boris Karloff, Abbott & Costello, and Washington Irving. However, y’all know that I have an active sweet tooth and never pass up an opportunity to discuss junk food. Candy Corn seems to receive a lot of unnecessary wrath this time of year, and I recently remarked to a friend of mine that I could easily name a dozen sweet treats which I find much more revolting. That set the wheels in motion, and the result is what follows. So sit back, relax, and prepare to edit your shopping list for tomorrow’s discount candy binge, as I present…..

 

 

 

 

from the home office in Hershey, PA…..

 

 

 

 

 

The Superfluous 7 Worst Halloween Candies:

 

 

 

7          Whoppers

Whoppers come in at #7 because they do actually contain chocolate, which is a good thing. However, it’s what is underneath those little chocolate balls that I can’t get past. Malted milk?? What in the world is malted milk?? Well…apparently it is “a powdered gruel made from a mixture of malted barley, wheat flour, and evaporated whole milk” originally developed as “an improved, wheat- and malt-based nutritional supplement for infants”. So basically Whoppers are chocolate covered oatmeal. No thanks.

 

 

 

6          Tootsie Rolls

I’ve always been confused by Tootsie Rolls. Is it caramel?? Is it chocolate?? I guess it’s chocolate caramel?? I don’t know. The candy’s creator named it after his daughter, whose nickname was Tootsie. That’s nice, but I still can’t get into it. Given a choice I’d pick candy corn every time.

 

 

 

5          Bubble Gum

I am a big fan of chewing gum, but I cannot stand the taste of bubble gum. That’s probably why I never learned to blow bubbles. Also, if you’re going to turn on your porch light and welcome the neighborhood youngsters at the door let’s not be cheap. Handing out bubble gum is about a half step above those evildoers who kept giving Charlie Brown rocks.

 

 

 

4          Heath Bars & Skor

Much like Tootsie Rolls I am a bit flummoxed by these two, and just like Whoppers yummy chocolate on the outside masks the insidious wickedness hiding beneath the surface. What is underneath that chocolate is toffee, a concoction “made by caramelizing sugar or molasses (creating inverted sugar) along with butter, and occasionally flour. The mixture is heated until its temperature reaches the hard crack stage of 149 to 154 °C (300 to 310 °F)”. It’s that hard crack stage that I want to focus on. I bet if we did some market research we’d find out that Halloween distribution of Heath Bars and Skor is part of a sinister plot from Big Dental. I realize that eating enough sugary snacks will increase the bottom line for dentists everywhere over the course of time, but hey, why not hasten the process and force the rugrats to come in for a visit to get that cracked tooth repaired, right??

 

 

 

3          Licorice

Licorice seems to be an all or nothing proposition. Either you love it or hate it. Whether it’s Twizzlers, Red Vines, or any other brand, I fall into the latter category. Once again, I’ll take candy corn every single time.

 

 

 

2          Gummy & Chewy Candy

You know what I’m talking about. There are a hundred different brands out there. Jujubes. Sour Patch Kids. Dots. Mike & Ike. AirHeads. Swedish Fish. They tend to be fruit flavored and have a weird, gelatinous, jelly-esque consistency, which I find rather gross. The only place I ever see them prominently displayed is at the movie theater concession stand. I suppose there are some folks that buy them, but I’m not sure I could be friends with or ever truly trust such individuals.

 

 

 

1          Hard & Sour Candy

Here we have a two sides of the same coin situation, with the common thread being there isn’t a speck of chocolate anywhere in sight. This is a movie theater’s version of counter-programming. Y’all know how at Christmastime, while other TV channels are airing non-stop Christmas movies, there is always one station that does a John Wayne marathon?? While most of polite & intelligent society is spending their candy money on a wide variety of chocolate bars, there are a handful of savages who go in the opposite direction and choose to consume stuff like Good & Plenty, Warheads, Nerds, Skittles, Lemonheads, SweeTarts, Smarties, & Runts. Those people aren’t normal, and I bet they’re the ones who commit most of the violent crimes in our country.

Superfluous 7: Favorite Halloween Movies & TV Shows

It’s a psychological fact that some people enjoy…to a degree…fear. I’m not a scientist and won’t bore you with a bunch of jargon, but there are a couple of reasons for this phenomenon. First, fear triggers the pleasurable release of dopamine, the same thing that happens in our brain during sex. As one article I ran across put it…”Dopamine is love. Dopamine is lust. Dopamine is motivation. Dopamine is attention. Dopamine is addiction.” So adrenaline junkies, drug abusers, folks with a bit of a gambling problem, & nymphomaniacs all have a similar brain chemistry as those who are really into horror movies. I am sure that is an epic oversimplification, but it’s the best I can do. Secondly, there is something called “excitation transfer”, which essentially means that after one gets really scared they calm down, but it’s not just the average everyday calm. When the heart rate levels out, breathing normalizes, & muscles relax one feels an intense sense of relief that is exceedingly positive & enjoyable, and that pleasant feeling is what is remembered about the experience in the long run.

I tell you all of that as a preamble to saying that I am not one of those people. I don’t enjoy being scared. I don’t like horror movies. I couldn’t possibly care less about haunted houses. However, I am rather intrigued with Halloween. I’m a bit of a history buff and have developed somewhat of a fascination with cultural anthropology, folklore, & mythology. I might have explored career options in that general direction if I’d known such pathways existed as a kid. Halloween has a quirky, fun vibe and a peculiar backstory & evolution. I completely understand that many of my fellow Christians choose not to celebrate Halloween, and I respect those opinions. However, there are frivolous elements of the occasion that I rather enjoy. As much as I appreciate a big ol’ bag of candy I am a little too old to go out trick or treating, so instead I’ll keep the lights low in The Bachelor Palace, snuggle with Rocco, and delight in some fantastic Halloween themed entertainment. I’m a bookworm and cannot recommend highly enough Washington Irving’s 1820 short story The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Yes, I know there have been countless film & television adaptations, but trust me…read it. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes novella The Hound of the Baskervilles could qualify as Halloween-ish, as could any number of stories written by the late great Ray Bradbury. Tastes vary, but there are worse ways to spend Halloween than curled up with a good book. However, this being the 21st century, many are predisposed to grab the remote and watch a movie or TV show. So sit back, relax, maybe drink a glass of cider & snack on some candy corn as I present…..

 

 

 

from the home office in Anoka, MN…..

 

 

 

The Superfluous 7 Favorite Halloween Movies & TV Shows:

 

 

 

 

7       Beetlejuice and Young Frankenstein

We begin with a tie!!

I was a little late in joining the Beetlejuice bandwagon, having first watched it several years after its 1988 release. However I have always been a fan of Michael Keaton’s work, and this is one of his most iconic roles. He stars as a long dead “freelance bio-exorcist” who is enlisted by a newly dead couple to scare a living family away from their house. Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis, & Winona Ryder are in the cast as well, and the film is directed by Tim Burton with music by Danny Elfman…a most impressive crew indeed. It’s an odd amalgamation of comedy & horror that really works. A sequel has been rumored for awhile, but to my knowledge it’s all talk right now.

Did you know that a Halloween comedy inspired Aerosmith’s hit song Walk This Way?? Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein hit theaters in 1974 and is now regarded as a comedy masterpiece. It is a spoof of classic horror films, focusing on the grandson of Dr. Victor Frankenstein…an American named Frederick Frankenstein (which he hilariously pronounces “Fronk-en-steen”) who disavows his crazy family legacy until he inherits the estate in Transylvania. Once Frederick moves into the castle hilarity ensues as he decides to duplicate his grandfather’s infamous experiment. The terrific cast includes Gene Wilder, Teri Garr, Marty Feldman, Peter Boyle, Madeline Kahn, & Cloris Leachman. Gene Hackman makes a brief but hysterical cameo. If, like me, you enjoy a well-written parody you can’t go wrong with Young Frankenstein at Halloween.

 

 

6       Hotel Transylvania

Adam Sandler has had a bad run, starring in mostly putrid affronts to good taste for most of the past 15 years. A rare exception is this animated 2012 offering in which Sandler voices Dracula as he tries (and fails) to keep his daughter away from humanity while hosting her 118th birthday party with many of his famous monster friends in attendance. Selena Gomez is even more beautiful animated than she is in real life (or maybe I’m just really lonely), and a bunch of Sandler’s buddies…Andy Samberg, Kevin James, Steve Buscemi, David Spade, Molly Shannon, Jon Lovitz, et al…add their voices to the fun. A sequel was released in 2015, and a third film is coming in 2018.

 

 

5       Halloween Documentaries on History

Nerd alert…I have decided to include an ode to the documentary. The History Channel may have gone in the crapper the past few years (Life After People?? Really??), but once upon a time it actually focused on…duh…history, and occasionally still does (even a broken clock is right twice a day). The original Haunted History of Halloween was first broadcast in 1997 and traces Halloween all the way back to its origins with the Celtic tribes of Medieval Ireland thru an American renaissance of the holiday in the 1950’s and the rise of horror films in the 1980’s. Whether you are determined to view Halloween as a pagan celebration of darkness & death or choose to look at it thru the eyes of innocent children dressing in fun costumes and asking for candy, every angle is presented, all narrated by the mellifluous cadence of newsman Harry Smith. In 2010 History produced an update called The Real History of Halloween, which covers a lot of the same territory, albeit with a more ominous tone and without Smith’s dulcet inflection, as he is replaced by the guy who seems to narrate everything on History (name unknown). Both documentaries are worth your time. Learning really is fun kids…I promise.

 

 

4       Frankenstein & Dracula

Bram Stoker published Dracula in 1897, while Mary Shelley (wife of poet Percy Shelley) wrote Frankenstein way back in 1818. Both are great novels that have frequently been adapted for the stage & screen. Most movie versions don’t hardly resemble the books at all, but that’s a discussion for another day. Universal Studios produced a collection of horror films in the 1930’s & 40’s with Dracula and Frankenstein featured prominently in many of them, and it all started in 1931 with Dracula starring Bela Lugosi and Frankenstein starring Boris Karloff. Lugosi’s performance as Count Dracula and Karloff’s interpretation of The Monster both set a standard for our pre-conceived notions of those characters. Neither film is all that scary thru the prism of what modern slasher flicks have become, and that’s just fine with me. There are several other creature features in the Universal canon of that particular era, including The Wolf Man, Bride of Frankenstein, The Mummy, & The Invisible Man, that are worth watching if you are so inclined. However, I suggest starting with these two.

 

 

3       Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein

I grew up in the 1970’s & 80’s, and comedy team Abbott & Costello had their heyday in the 40’s & 50’s, so I’m not sure how I became a fan. Though it may be counterintuitive, it seems like their movies (along with classic stuff from The Three Stooges, Ma & Pa Kettle, The Marx Brothers, and Laurel & Hardy) were on TV with some frequency during my childhood long before there were hundreds of channels or streaming was invented. At any rate, at the height of their popularity Bud Abbott and Lou Costello teamed up with Universal to make a handful of films in which the humorous duo encounter classic monsters. This 1948 offering is the first & best, although later entries like Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man, Abbott and Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, & Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy are perfectly delightful as well. Contrary to the title the twosome meet more than just Frankenstein’s Monster…Dracula & The Wolf Man are around too. It’s a seamless blend of absurd fun & fear, which is exactly what I like.

 

 

2       Halloween

It really is the only horror movie I like. To be clear, I am speaking of the 1978 original. A bunch of sequels were made, and remake(s) came out just a few years ago, but really, other than 1981’s Halloween II, I don’t care about any of them. The original was written, directed, & produced by John Carpenter (who even composed the legendary theme song) with a $300k budget, which was super low even back then. However, the film made $70 million so everything worked out alright. Actually I think forced frugality did the film (and audience) a favor. Instead of graphic blood & guts Halloween is more suspenseful than scary, perfectly capturing the mood of the titular holiday. I have come to appreciate minimalism in relation to many aspects of life, and with movies I respect directors who show restraint, whether it is an artistic or economic choice. I can count on my hands the number of horror films I have bothered to watch in my four & a half decades on the planet…they’re just not my thing. Among those I have seen Halloween is the only one that I keep coming back to. It’s an annual tradition.

 

 

1       It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

Charles Schulz’s Peanuts comic strip began in the fall of 1950. Fifteen years later Coca-Cola sponsored the first of what would eventually be over fifty Peanuts animated television specials…A Charlie Brown Christmas. After the enormous success of the Christmas program plans were formulated for a different holiday show. The Great Pumpkin first aired on October 27, 1966 and has been warming the cockles of children of all ages ever since. It makes complete sense if you think about it…kids are all about Santa Claus, right?? So why wouldn’t a youngster like Linus Van Pelt desire another mythical gift giver on what is…for most children…the second coolest holiday on the calendar?? Of course we all know that the magic of Santa Claus isn’t possible without agreeable participation from parents, therefore the absence of such adults in the Peanuts universe dictates that the Great Pumpkin mythos is logically doomed. Schultz seemed to have somewhat of a jaded worldview, and it shows up throughout Peanuts. These are some cynical little crumb crunchers!! At any rate, everything about The Great Pumpkin is perfect, from Charlie Brown getting nothing but rocks in his trick or treat bag in what has to be the cruelest neighborhood in history, to Snoopy going all Walter Mitty and battling The Red Baron on a flying dog house, to the charmingly vibrant animation & groovy jazz soundtrack. I might be “middle-aged”, but I never hesitate to wave my inner child flag and bask in the glorious glow of nostalgia. The Great Pumpkin is quintessential Halloween, and for that I am thankful.

The Great Pumpkin Is Filthy, Charlie Brown!!

gpump1ABC recently aired the 50th Anniversary edition of It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!, the classic Peanuts animated special that debuted in 1966. My trick-or-treating days ended many years ago and I’m not really into horror movies, but The Great Pumpkin is a Halloween tradition that has my full support.

 

I am sure that anyone with a pulse is familiar with the gist of the storyline so I’ll skip reviewing the gpump3details. However, allow me to point out that for many years the show that we’ve enjoyed watching each October is NOT the one originally broadcast in 1966. Network television routinely edits the broadcast, presumably to squeeze in an extra commercial or two. My innate idealism still occasionally pops up, so I thought that may be…just maybe…the program would air unedited in celebration of the Big 50. No such luck.

 

gpump6There are two scenes from the original that are usually cut. The first is an iconic interaction between Charlie Brown and Lucy Van Pelt where he naïvely thinks that THIS is the year that he is FINALLY going to kick that football. Of course malevolent little Lucy pulls the ball yet again and ol’ Chuck ends up flat on his back. The second deleted scene takes place at the kids’ Halloween party after Lucy has gone bobbing for apples and instead ends up with a mouthful of Snoopy. Snoopy goes over to Schroeder and the young piano virtuoso gpump11proceeds to play a set of World War 1 era songs, including It’s a Long Way to Tipperary & Roses of Picardy, which make Snoopy, who of course is dressed as a WW1 flying ace, very emotional.

 

gpump8After watching ABC’s broadcast and being disappointed that they couldn’t even show the program in its full & original form on its 50th anniversary I decided it was time to utilize modern technology. A couple of years ago I purchased one of those streaming stick players. What is really cool about it is that when I search for a movie or TV show it is almost always available from one of several services…Netflix, Vudu, Amazon, and a few other choices. However, upon searching for It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! I found that it was not available from any of the familiar suspects, but could be rented from a company I’d never heard of before called VidAngel.

 

VidAngel is a relatively new option launched in 2014. It allows viewers to filter out things like nudity, violence, & profanity from what may gpump13otherwise be a perfectly entertaining show/movie. It’s actually a really cool idea. For example, if you are watching Titanic with your young teenager but don’t want him to get an eyeful of Kate Winslet’s ample bosom then you can just edit that scene out. Or perhaps you’d really like to share your love of gangster flicks with a new girlfriend who’s a little squeamish. Just edit all of the violence. Now the other unique thing about VidAngel is that you actually “buy” the movie for $20 but after you’re done watching sell it back for $18, which means that it is ultimately a $2 rental. I am sure there are legitimate reasons for this approach, but exploration of the business model is not my current focus.

 

gpump12So, you would think that there wouldn’t be anything objectionable to be edited from The Great Pumpkin, right?? Well…much to my surprise that assumption is wrong. Way wrong. Apparently this sweet & innocent little animated special many of us have been watching annually all of our lives is potentially as offensive & depraved as a snuff film or anything ever made by Quentin Tarantino. Who knew??

 

VidAngel’s menu lists 64 possible filters for The Great Pumpkin. 64!! For a show that runs less than a half hour!! These potential pitfalls of gpump10profanity are listed under headings like Crude Language, Violence/Blood/Gore, Disturbing Images, & Sexual References. Sex?? In The Great Pumpkin?!?!? Charlie Brown is more of a rebel than I ever dreamed!! Now, the catch to VidAngel is that they assume you’ve decided to use their service for a reason, so you MUST select atleast one filter. How ironic that my whole purpose was to watch the program unedited but then being forced to make an edit.

 

Amused more than annoyed, I began to look at the filter menu. Among the possible choices of scenes to be cut:

            * ”A boy questions another boy’s belief in Santa Claus”

            * “A boy is cold & chatters his teeth”

            * Use of “crude” language like blockhead, stupid, & doomed

            * “A girl offends an animal”

            * “A girl stares at a boy”

            * “Gunshots & explosions are heard”

            * “An animal cries”

Ultimately I chose the most unobtrusive filter I could find, which was “several skeletons are seen”, which I knew comes during the opening credits. It shaved 4 seconds off the show, but I was able to enjoy Charlie Brown whiffing on kicking the football and Schroeder’s nimble piano skills.

 

As I said, I think VidAngel is a good concept. The world would be a better place without all of the vulgarity that has become such a pervasive gpump9presence on the pop culture landscape. Unfortunately our society has become anesthetized to so much of that. However, it is hilariously disturbing when we can take innocuous entertainment like It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! and pick the bones of its innocence clean thru the prism of political correctness. Perhaps we need to pump the brakes a bit. Happy Halloween Manoverse!!

25 Favorite Cartoons…..Part 2

Welcome back. If you haven’t already taken an opportunity to peruse Part 1 please do so now. Take your time…I’ll wait.

 

pixarOkay, so now…let’s move forward. Let me take this opportunity to give a shout out to the Big Three animation studios responsible for almost all of these cartoons. Hanna-Barbera, Warner Brothers, & Disney produced most of our long-time favorites during the Golden Age of Animation from the 1920s thru the 1960s. They played a huge role in creating fond childhood memories for multiple generations. Of course time marches on and technology evolves, so nowadays companies like Pixar & ILM use stunningly beautiful computer animation to make wonderful big screen movies like the Toy Story trilogy, the Shrek series, Aladdin, & Finding Nemo, but they owe a debt of gratitude to the folks who made the classics a half century ago. Animated shorts (the kind they used to show right before a movie) have given way to commercials (in a theater!!) & way too many obnoxiously loud previews, yet animation ILM-headerhas oftentimes become the main attraction. I don’t watch Cartoon Network so I have no idea what is available there, but I have to assume that they weave some of the classics into their programming, and how cool is it that cartoons have a TV station all their own anyway?? At any rate, please enjoy the conclusion of this little animation pontification, and don’t hesitate to leave some feedback.

 

 

 

 

15 Mighty Mouse
Here he comes to save the day!! So I said in the preamble to Part 1 that I was leaving superhero ‘toons off this list for various mightyreasons, but I suppose we have an exception…kind of. Mighty Mouse is indeed a parody of Superman. That’s it…that’s the hook. Simplicity at its best. And it has one of the more memorable cartoon theme songs, one that late (supposedly) comedian Andy Kaufman used to utilize in his act, most notably on the inaugural episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975.

 

 

14 Fat Albert
Hey hey hey!! I know I know…Bill Cosby isn’t exactly Mr. Popularity these days, but we can’t ignore the man’s considerable albertcontributions to pop culture, one of which was this show that was based on his youth in Philadelphia. Albert and his buddies Mushmouth, Dumb Donald, Weird Harold, Bucky, & Russell…aka The Junkyard Gang…were inner city kids who played basketball, formed a band, & hung out like boys do, getting into various adventures and learning an appropriate life lesson in the process. Viewers learned that lesson right along with them, making Fat Albert more of an educational program than most cartoons. I suppose some aspects of the show weren’t politically correct (that again!), but I couldn’t possibly care less. Back then no one else did either.

 

 

13 Speed Racer
The Japanese have invaded our list!! Known as Mach GoGoGo in the Far East, the show was imported to the USA in the late speed1960’s. Speed is an open wheel racer that always seems to land in some sort of danger. His team consists of his mother & father Pops, little brother Spritle, girlfriend Trixie, best friend & mechanic Sparky, and Spritle’s pet monkey Chim-Chim. Speed’s chief rival is the mysterious masked Racer X, who in actuality is his older brother Rex who left the family years earlier after an argument with his father. Racer X often sacrifices certain victory to help his younger brother, who for some reason is frequently the target of nefarious plots and evildoers. Speed Racer suffers from the same inept voiceover lag time thing that was a trademark of the Americanized versions of old Godzilla movies, but it’s part of the program’s hokey charm. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the Mach 5, which ranks right up there with the Batmobile, KITT, & Doc Brown’s DeLorean time machine as one of the coolest fictional vehicles of all time, and the catchy theme song that you are undoubtedly singing to yourself this very moment.

 

 

12 The Jetsons
Let’s take a trip to the future. I’m not sure exactly what century The Jetsons is supposed to be set in, but it sure looks cool. Yet jetsonsdespite its futuristic underpinnings the show is mostly a archetypal sitcom about the life of a fairly typical family…patriarch George, wife Jane, teenage daughter Judy, young son Elroy, family dog Astro, & robot maid Rosie. Well okay…I suppose a robot maid isn’t all that commonplace. The Jetsons actually aired on ABC in primetime for a couple of years in the early 60’s. Thereafter it became a staple of Saturday mornings, with new episodes being produced in the 80’s. A live action film was discussed for years, but now I am given to understand that a big screen adaptation using modern fancy computer animation is in the works. That’ll probably be a lot of fun. The Jetsons actually prophesied some of our current technologies, stuff like flat screen TVs, Skype, the Roomba, & tablet computers. How awesome is that?? We’re still waiting on flying cars and George’s work week of three hours a day three days a week, but I suppose we’ll just have to be patient.

 

 

11 Alvin & The Chipmunks
The Chipmunks have a really interesting origin story. A guy by the name of Ross Bagdasarian used the stage name David Seville chipmunksand had a few minor hits with novelty songs but was by no means a household name. In the late 50’s he began messing around with a tape recorder, speeding up tracks & such. In 1958 he wrote The Chipmunk Song, aka Christmas Don’t Be Late, which became a holiday staple that still today gets radio play every December. Out of that song an empire was built, including records, TV shows, & movies. A couple of live action films were made a few years ago and I think I may have seen the first one, but obviously it was forgettable.

 

 

10 Mickey Mouse
You might be surprised to see Mickey rated this low. To be honest I rated him this high only because he is the iconic symbol of mickeyDisney. Perhaps the reason I don’t feel as connected to Mickey as many is that I’ve never been to Disneyland or Disney World. Also, the famed Mickey Mouse Club was on television in the 50’s before my parents even met. Yes, I am aware that they did a reboot in the early 90’s with Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, Ryan Gosling, & Keri Russell. No, I never saw it (I was a college man). At any rate, despite all that Mickey Mouse is a cultural icon. Like most other celebrated cartoon legends he starred in a plethora of animated short films in the 1930’s thru the 1950’s, most notably his 1928 debut in Steamboat Willie. In 1940 Mickey was a memorable part of Fantasia, a really interesting feature film that meshes together animation & classical music. In 1983 he made a significant contribution to my beloved pantheon of annual Christmas classics with Mickey’s Christmas Carol. And obviously we can’t give love to Mickey without mentioning his gal pal Minnie Mouse, his dog Pluto, & Goofy (also a dog).

 

 

9 Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, & Yosemite Sam
bb1You can’t have one without the others. Bugs is another cultural icon, the Warner Bros/Looney Toons equivalent of Mickey Mouse. Like his counterpart Bugs has been quite ubiquitous since 1940. He was even the first cartoon character ever immortalized by the U.S. Postal Service on a stamp. He is a rather charming & blithe fella, always chomping on carrots and asking “What’s up Doc??”, cleverly outsmarting those out to get him. One of those adversaries is Elmer Fudd, a hunter with a speech impediment (that again??) whose sole purpose seems to be “hunting wabbits”, specifically “that wascally wabbit”, aka Bugs Bunny. Of coursebb2 he can never catch Bugs. Neither can Yosemite Sam, a boisterous, ill-tempered cowboy who despises Bugs. Whereas Fudd hunted with a double barrel shotgun Sam carried two six shooters, but luckily for Bugs ol’ Sam was just as inept as Fudd.

 

 

8 Popeye
The vast majority of classic cartoon characters are anthropomorphic animals, but there are exceptions. Popeye is a sailor who popeyegains superhuman strength by eating spinach. His girlfriend Olive Oyl (one of the great cartoon names) is constantly being wooed by Bluto (aka Brutus), a dim-witted, muscle-bound hulk who looks like he could easily best Popeye but never does. Olive is your typical damsel-in-distress, and much of Popeye’s time is spent rescuing her, although he does have time to get into other scrapes and save various folks from certain doom…as long as he eats his spinach. Popeye’s buddy J. Wellington Wimpy (simply known as Wimpy for the most part) is always around too, trying to mooch hamburgers from anyone & everyone. There’s even a fast food place named in honor of Wimpy!! The late great Robin Williams portrayed Popeye in a 1980 live action film and it’s actually pretty good.

 

 

7 Yogi Bear
Speaking of food. All Yogi really wants out of life is a picnic basket (or as he says it “pickanick basket”) full of tasty vittles. yogiUnfortunately he usually steals them from unsuspecting campers at Jellystone Park, in the process angering Ranger Smith. Yogi’s best buddy is Boo-Boo, a mild-mannered bear who usually tries to talk Yogi out of whatever mischief he’s about to get them into. Conversely, Yogi is extremely confident, often proclaiming himself “smarter than the average bear”. Yogi may or may not have been named after baseball Hall-of-Famer Yogi Berra. Berra actually sued Hanna-Barbera for defamation back in the day before withdrawing the suit. Personally I see nothing defamatory about Yogi Bear, unless you want to get all worked up about his kleptomania. Yogi’s personality IS based on Ed Norton (as portrayed by Art Carney) from the 1950’s sitcom The Honeymooners. To my knowledge Carney never felt the urge to get litigious about it though. There was a 2010 live action film, but I don’t recall ever watching it. I might have to see if it is available on Netflix.

 

 

6 The Smurfs
Are they hobbits?? Dwarves?? I don’t know. Kind of. Smurfs are tiny blue human-like forest dwellers that live in little houses thatsmurfs resemble mushrooms. They are reminiscent of Snow White’s pals because of their descriptive names that often define their personality or occupation…Brainy, Lazy, Handy, Hefty, Farmer, etc. The village patriarch is Papa Smurf, although I don’t think he was actually the father or grandfather of the rest of the group. The only female is Smurfette, who, despite the fact that she is a cartoon character with blue skin, seemed vaguely sensual to a prepubescent grade school lad in the early 80’s (I’m not mentioning any names). Smurfs are constantly in peril from grotesque wizard Gargamel & his cat Azrael. Gargamel is determined to capture smurfs and somehow turn them into gold. Unfortunately for him Papa Smurf seems to be a wizard as well and always defeats the bad guy. The Smurfs always somewhat reminded me of JRR Tolkien’s The Hobbit. The protagonists are little people that live in a pleasant village. Their leader, Papa Smurf, is similar to wise Gandalf, while evil Gargamel is a bit like Saruman. Maybe it’s just me…does anyone else see the parallels?? Anyway, two live action films came out not that long ago but I’ve not seen them either. I just don’t think these live action movies retain the charm of the animated originals.

 

 

5 Beavis & Butt-head
Going from the bucolic wholesomeness of Yogi and The Smurfs to Beavis & Butt-head might create a bit of cognitive whiplash, bbhbut I gotta do what I gotta do. The show debuted on MTV in 1993 and ran for four years. I have such fond memories of my buddies Greg, The Owl, Phil, & others coming over to my college apartment as a prelude to late night bar-hopping. We’d consume adult beverages (of course), sometimes grill out (once during a driving snowstorm, another while shooting fireworks at unsuspecting boaters on the Ohio River), occasionally watch movies, & often tune in to Beavis & Butt-head. Good times. At any rate, the two titular heroes are mindless teenage delinquents who like to sit around and watch music videos. Actual music videos are shown and the twosome react to them. If it’s a hard rock band like Megadeth or AC/DC they might opine that it “kicks ass” or “that’s really cool”. A slow ballad or some kind of otherwise terrible song elicits a “that sucks” from Butt-head and an “Aaaaahhh!!! Change it!!” from Beavis. When the duo do get up off the couch and go to school or amble around the neighborhood they interact with characters like Tom Anderson, a curmudgeonly old neighbor that Beavis & Butt-head often take advantage of, Stewart, a nerdy milquetoast who wants to be cool, and Mr. Van Driessen, a hippy teacher that likes to talk about feelings and play his guitar. An animated feature film was made in 1996 called Beavis & Butt-head Do America, and it was fine. MTV briefly revived the show a few years ago, but after the initial excitement I quickly lost interest. I suppose I’ve grown up & moved on, which is probably a good thing, but I will always cherish the fact that these two morons were a hilarious part of my collegiate experience.

 

 

4 The Flintstones
While The Jetsons takes us to the future The Flintstones takes us all the way back to the Stone Age. However, just like TheflintstonesJetsons, The Flintstones is, in many ways, a typical sitcom centered on a nuclear family and their day-to-day life. The show ran for six seasons on ABC primetime in the 1960’s, but has been on TV ever since in some form somewhere. The premise is obviously loosely based on The Honeymooners, and Jackie Gleason pondered the idea of filing a lawsuit but never did. Fred Flintstone is reflected in so many modern fictional Dads…hard working, well-meaning, often blundering, with an outward bravado that hides a tender heart. His dutiful & patient wife Wilma, young daughter Pebbles, best friends & neighbors Barney & Betty Rubble with their son Bam-Bam, & and family pet Dino (a dinosaur…obviously) complete the picture. The Flintstones never fails to amuse with a plethora of geologically pertinent puns like Cary Granite, Rock Hudstone, Stony Curtis, & Ann Margrock, and it is really funny how they had modern conveniences like cars, dishwashers, telephones, & washing machines despite having no electricity. A couple of live action films were made about 20 years ago but I never bothered. How could they possibly measure up??

 

 

3 Tom & Jerry
It is literally a game of cat & mouse. That’s the whole gag…a cat that is obsessed with catching (and presumably eating) a mouse.tj Of course in CartoonLand we know how these things go…the thing being chased is never caught and almost always outsmarts the pursuer. It’s the foundation of many classic ‘toons. A couple of things make Tom & Jerry stand out though. First of all there is rarely any dialogue, atleast between the main two characters. Music plays a huge part in telling the story. Secondly, it is the epitome of what we’ve come to refer to as cartoon violence, in which characters get beaten, run over, dropped off cliffs, blown up, and all kinds of crazy stuff but always survive to fight another day. Now I don’t have any children (that I know of), but I am well aware of how times have changed and that in the touch-feely, overly sensitive, politically correct 21st century cartoon violence is looked at very differently. A show like Tom & Jerry probably wouldn’t even make it on the air now, let alone become a legend within its genre. To that I can only say that I am thankful that I grew up when I did, before everyone was so uptight and started getting sand in their vajay-jay over every little thing, almost seeking out things to be offended by. I am also aware that in recent years folks have been in an uproar about some other things about Tom & Jerry, specifically its depiction of smoking and a character named Mammy Two Shoes, a large black woman whose face we never saw and who was either Tom’s owner or the housekeeper of the owner. Look, I get it. I’m not stupid or totally obtuse…I’m just not easily offended, and I think we have to be cognizant that many things are representative of the values & traditions of their era. The fact that society has grown beyond many of those beliefs is great, but we need not sanitize history or minimize the joy that something brought about because of one questionable element. Tom & Jerry is a great show that put smiles on lots of little kids’ faces, and I’m willing to bet that very few of those kids grew up to be racists or prone to violent behavior.

 

 

2 Scooby-Doo
You’ve got a dude wearing a cravat, a closet lesbian, a beatnik with the munchies (I wonder why), & a talking dog (who also scoobyconstantly has the munchies). What’s not to love?? Add in the fact that the group drives around in another awesomely cool vehicle (a van called The Mystery Machine) solving weird mysteries (kind of like a traveling tribute to Sherlock Holmes) and foiling nefarious plots. It is almost the perfect cartoon show. Unlike many of the programs we’ve discussed thus far, Scooby-Doo didn’t premier until 1969 (just a few years before my glorious birth). Therefore it doesn’t have many of the outdated, corny, potentially offensive elements present in several of the ‘toons originally produced in the 1930’s & 40’s. The worst thing anyone can say about it is that Scooby & Shaggy might be potheads, and in this day & age of meth labs, crack houses, & pillheads marijuana use almost seems quaint. I’ve been a huge fan of Sherlock Holmes since I was in grade school, and I think the mystery element is a real game changer for Scooby-Doo. It isn’t just cartoon violence & wacky characters with slight handicaps to laugh at. There’s intrigue & problem solving. Scooby & Shaggy are funny. Fred & Velma are smart. Daphne is cute. The bad guy is always caught. Order is restored and the good guys win. The human characters were based on the 1960’s TV show The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis, while Scooby-Doo’s name was inspired by Frank Sinatra. Unlike the majority of classic cartoons, Scooby-Doo didn’t originate in theatrical shorts or even comic books…it was made for Saturday morning television, which is where it stayed for decades. A couple of live action movies were produced about a decade ago. I think I may have seen part of the first one. I don’t recall. Anyway, I could still vegg out and watch a whole day of Scooby-Doo even now, which is a testament to its eternal charm and entertainment value.

 

 

1 Peanuts
I’ll be honest…I debated whether or not to include Charlie Brown and his pals in this project at all, let alone crown them #1. I’ve always said I wasn’t a comic book kid so this idea was never about that. Neither is it about comic strips that we all still see in newspapers, stuff like Beetle Bailey, Blondie, Hagar the Horrible, and The Family Circus. The idea was to focus on cartoons. However, at the end of the day I just couldn’t ignore Charles Schultz’s Peanuts. Yes it is undeniably the best comic strip of all time, and no it never spawned a regular Saturday morning TV show. However, there have been numerous animated television specials, which is the loophole I’m utilizing for inclusion. Two of the specials…It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and A Charlie Brown Christmas…are amongst the finest shows ever broadcast on TV in any genre. It is rare in modern society to peanutsappreciate much of anything a year or two after its debut. Everything is disposable and we have the collective attention span of a gnat with ADD. So those rarities…whether they are books, music, TV shows, or anything else…that last multiple decades become that much more appealing. Kids connect with Charlie Brown because he has many of the same quirks, foibles, & neuroses that they do. They might not understand that’s why they like him, but someday they will. Kids like Snoopy because…well, he’s a cute little dog that flies airplanes. How cool is that?? Kids like the rest of the gang because they see little pieces of themselves & their friends in the various characters…Linus, Lucy, Peppermint Patty, Pigpen, Sally, Schroeder, Franklin, Marcie, etc. Grownups love the whole deal partially because it takes them on a sweet ride down memory lane, but also because thru the prism of adulthood we get it. We see that Schultz had something to say and appreciate the subtle & fun way he made his point. It’s a shame that Peanuts never made it to Saturday mornings. I have to believe that the option was on the table and Mr. Schultz turned it down for some reason. He was indeed a man of strong faith & principles, so I respect his decision. There is a big screen movie coming out soon using fancy schmancy computer animation, and I am almost as excited about that as I am for a certain sci-fi film popping up just a few weeks later. Thank you Charles Schultz…you did good.