Month: January 2017

Points of Ponderation…..Episode 3.17

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

 

 

 

 

 

Head-ScratcherRecently I ran across an article about a film called Kuso. Perhaps…contrary to some well publicized opinions…mixed martial arts really IS artistic in comparison.

 

 


fridge

Good information.

 

 

 

I won’t pretend to be a legal scholar, but all indications point to President Trump’s Supreme Court nominee…The scalesHonorable Neil Gorsuch…being a conservative jurist and a Constitutional originalist, and for me that’s the whole ball of wax. It is THE #1 reason I voted for Donald Trump. I decided that I could handle whatever shortcomings he may have and deal with any disagreements I might have with his decisions as long as, by the end of whatever term he serves (four years?? eight years??) The Court is leaning in the right direction. It looks like he’s off to a good start.

 

 

 

Well…it’s pretty spot on, right??

 

 

 

kroger-logoKudos to Kroger, who recently launched their ClickList grocery service. It’s like shopping on Amazon, only for fruit, cereal, & meat instead of books. You fill the virtual shopping cart at your own leisure wherever you happen to be surfing The Net, schedule a pickup time, call a number when you arrive at the store, and then someone brings your stuff out and puts it in your vehicle. You pay the person with your credit/debit card and boom…you’re on your way home without ever having to get out of your automobile. It’s not quite home delivery but it is close enough. As most citizens of The Manoverse know, I have used a wheelchair since childhood due to a birth defect called spina bifida. I’m not exactly old yet, but I’m not 20 years old anymore either, so getting in & out of my vehicle multiple times in a day is more challenging than it used to be. ClickList is a blessing for me, and I can see it being useful for elderly folks or young parents who would rather not take their small children shopping. I’d be remiss if I didn’t also recognize clicklistthe valuable benefits to those with a healthy disdain for screaming babies, stupid people, & humanity in general. I am told that WalMart is also offering a similar service, though it hasn’t become available in my locale just yet. The thought of never having to go inside WalMart ever again fills my entire being with delight.

 

 

 


Enough said…..

 

 

 

american-flag-1I find it fascinating that the same people who shout from the rooftops that “times change” and that we “need to be on the right side of history” when justifying arguments for certain social issues are the same folks who want to hearken back to the good ol’ days of Plymouth Rock & Ellis Island when trying to make the case for illegal immigration. You can’t have it both ways.

Pondering The Good News: An Introduction

jumpI am usually not one to leap before looking, to venture out on a limb before pondering the consequences. However, after publicly stating my intention, way way way back at the beginning of 2012, to dive into The Bible book by book here at The Manofesto, I began to wonder what exactly I had gotten myself into.

 

I consider myself to be a pretty decent writer, but with no shortage of Bible studies, concordances, & A Bible studyanalyses of The Good Book out there…especially in The Information Age…what do I bring to the table that’s any better or different?? There is no way that I can even be in the same league as the God-inspired authors who wrote The Bible…men like Moses, Paul, & Peter. How do I approach the task??

 

procrastinateLike a true procrastinator I have spent several years pondering this idea. Have I come to any solid conclusions?? To be honest…no. But I know three things. I know that I learn best by doing. I know that this project will be beneficial…certainly to me, and hopefully to others. And I know that sometimes one just has to jump in with both feet and get started.

 

I have stated many times here & in speaking to people personally that, while I am a Christian, I am not a very mad-man-pulling-hair-outgood one. I fall victim to temptation more often than I care to admit. I don’t think I exhibit the Fruits of the Spirit consistently. I am far too cynical. I become frustrated too quickly & anger too easily. I am frequently distracted by meaningless trivialities. I make poor use of my time. Too often I allow fear, anxiety, & general neuroses to rule my life. I haven’t been “all in” on Jesus. Oh sure He’s a swell dude that did & said a lot of cool things…but do I sincerely trust Him?? On an intellectual level…yes. But down deep in my bones I know I’m not where I need to be.

 

bowlThis internal confrontation with my own shortcomings is nothing new and I have alluded to it before. However, events in the past few years have introduced a sense of urgency. My brother The Owl & I have often commiserated about mutual frustrations & disappointments. He & I have always thought of ourselves as inhabitants of The Island of Misfit Toys. It’s not that we are smarter than everyone else or the only two people to recognize the dark path our world has been traveling down, but we do tend to feel marginalized on many levels. We have observed things occurring in America that aren’t completely surprising, but that doesn’t make them any easier to comprehend or accept.

 

What has become clear is that there is only one answer. Again…intellectually I have always known this, but I have not fully embraced it on a solitudespiritual level. As pop culture, the news media, elected leaders, & commerce go full throttle down a road built on political correctness, sin, & misguided good intentions the wickedness becomes harder & harder to ignore. It has become pervasive in almost every facet of daily life. Ideally one would move to the wilderness like Thoreau and disengage from the chaos & madness, but unfortunately that isn’t a practical solution (or is it??).

 

bible11350One may not be able to completely separate from the aggravation & disillusionment, but we can choose that on which we focus. It is obvious to me that the only path is Jesus Christ. It is time to “put away childish things” and stop being lukewarm lest He vomit me out of His mouth. Most of that involves areas of my personal life that citizens of The Manoverse need not be concerned with and surely have no interest in, but it does mean that I want to follow thru on what I originally talked about doing a few years ago.

 

I will warn you ahead of time that we’ll be skipping around a lot. It is unlikely that I will start with Genesis and end bible3with Revelation. What can I say…I’m a non-linear, outside-the-box, avant-garde kinda cat. As usual I make no promises involving timetables or structure. I enjoy learning, but more importantly The Lord is gently persuading me that this is the next step in my growth process. It’s time to stop dipping my toe in the water and dive in. He won’t allow me to drown. It is time to block out the hatred, discord, & destruction. It is time to stop becoming frustrated with the darkness and find joy in the light. #JesusWins

TAGS Episode Guide: Ranking (Not Quite) Every Episode of One of America’s Most Beloved TV Shows…Part 5

tags2Annnnd we’re back. I apologize for the nearly three month hiatus. I suppose I got caught up in focusing on football & the holidays and just kind of put this project on the backburner. If you need to catch up go to Part 4 and you’ll find links to Parts 1-3. At any rate, I ran some numbers. I was curious about the relative popularity/success of each of the first five seasons of The Andy Griffith Show, atleast thru the prism of these rankings.

*It turns out that Season 3 is the tops, with an average ranking of 67.13, including nine episodes in the Top 25 (four of those in the Top 10). The best three episodes in that season have an average ranking of 4.33, while my least favorite three episodes average a 141.33 ranking.

*The first season is next, with an average ranking of 74.06, including six Top 25 episodes (two in the Top 10). My favorite three episodes in Season 1 score an average ranking of 10.33, while the worst three average a 148 ranking.

*Third place…by a very narrow margin…goes to Season 4 with an average ranking of 74.81, including five episodes in the Top 25 (one in the Top 10). The best three episodes in that season have an average ranking of 9, while the bottom three episodes average a ranking of 150.66.

*Next is Season 2, with an average ranking of 83.13, including four Top 25 episodes (three in the Top 10). My favorite three episodes in that season average a ranking of 6, while the three least favorite episodes average out to a ranking of 153.66. Season 2 seems to be really inconsistent.

*And driving the proverbial caboose is Season 5, with an average ranking of 99.84. It only has one Top 25 episode and none in the Top 10. The best three episodes have an average ranking of 29, and the worst have an average ranking of 153.

andygriffithTAGS produced about 32 episodes per season (only 31 were made in season 2, and the final three seasons…which we aren’t dealing with here…produced only 30 each year), and I discovered a couple of interesting things. First of all, two season openers rank in my Top 10, and three other episodes which were either the 2nd or 3rd episodes of their respective seasons rank in my Top 25. I guess the folks in Mayberry came back from their summer vacation on top of their game. Also, three episodes that were the 11th show of the season rank in my Top 25 (two of those in the Top 10). I have no idea what kind of significance should be assigned to that, but I find it fascinating.

 

 

 

 

50     High Noon in Mayberry (S3E17)

Andy receives a vague letter from a man who he sent to prison, saying that he’s out of jail & coming to Mayberry. As usual Barney completely overreacts, enlisting mayberry1Gomer & Otis to help him guard Andy 24/7. As it turns out, the ex-con isn’t out for revenge…he actually wants to thank Andy for helping turn his life around. The triple threat combo of Barney, Gomer, & Otis is really funny.

 

49     Andy’s Vacation        (S4E22)

Andy is stressed out and decides to take a staycation at home. Unfortunately the good people of Mayberry won’t stop pesteringmayberry2 him, so he goes camping. But that doesn’t work either, as Barney & Gomer continually hunt Andy down seeking help with problems that arise. And then Andy meets up with & captures an escaped convict, basically rendering his vacation useless. I’ve said it before and I have to reiterate…Barney is funny, Gomer is funny, but Barney & Gomer together are comedy gold.

 

48     The Keeper of the Flame (S2E14)

Opie & his pals start a secret society and he is made “Keeper of the Flame”, which means he is in charge of the candle used at each meeting. When the barn the boys mayberry3have been gathering in burns down Opie is accused of starting the fire. Andy is prepared to pay the farmer damages, but Barney hilariously discovers…by accidentally getting snockered…that the farmer has been making moonshine and inadvertently burned down his own barn. Interesting trivia – the actor portraying the farmer wrote the lyrics to The Fishin’ Hole, which is the title of the TAGS theme song. Yes, there are lyrics!!

 

47     Andy Saves Gomer            (S4E23)

When Gomer falls asleep at the filling station a barrel of oily rags catches fire. Andy drops by and puts out the blaze, and Gomer mayberry4blows the whole thing up into Andy saving his life. Gomer dedicates his life to repaying his debt to Andy but ends up driving the entire Taylor family crazy. Of course the sheriff is smarter than anybody else in Mayberry and eventually discovers a way to convince Gomer that they are even. This episode features the return of Floyd the Barber, who hadn’t been seen in about a year after actor Howard McNear had suffered a stroke. Keen fans can pretty easily spot the differences in the character before & after the unfortunate health crisis.

 

46     Crime-Free Mayberry (S2E7)

Mayberry’s sterling reputation is always a doubled-edged sword. Criminals assuming the small town is an easy score is a recurring theme mayberry5over the years. In this instance Mayberry has been recognized & rewarded for having the lowest crime rate in the country. Two crooks posing as an FBI agent & a reporter show up looking to take advantage of the situation and rob the bank. There is some really funny stuff with Barney & Otis, and Andy is able to outsmart the bad guys as usual.

 

45     Andy and Opie’s Pal (S4E14)

When Andy befriends Opie’s pal Trey it doesn’t sit well with the younger Taylor, who becomes mayberry6jealous & petulant…definitely not a good look for the cute little tyke. The sheriff then decides to use Barney to teach the boy a lesson. Episodes that focus on the father/son relationship between Andy & Opie are some of my favorites.

 

44     Opie and the Bully (S2E1)

Andy must decide what to do when he discovers a bully is repeatedly taking Opie’s lunch money. Opie is too embarrassed mayberry7to tell him about it and Barney wants to intervene, but the sheriff believes it’d be better for Opie to handle it himself. Of course he gives the boy a nudge in the right direction by relating a story about being bullied when he was a kid. Opie eventually stands up to the bully, getting a black eye in the process, but ultimately ending the ongoing battle.

 

43     Aunt Bea’s Medicine Man  (S3E24)

A traveling “medicine” man peddling miracle elixir grabs Aunt Bea’s attention. mayberry8Of course he’s not really selling any kind of miracle…he’s getting folks snockered on hooch. Aunt Bea gooned out of her mind and singing her sweet little heart out while tickling the ivories is one of the funniest things one will ever see on TAGS. She even gets her lady friends from church smashed and Andy tosses them all in jail!! The sheriff figures out the scam pretty quickly and eventually arrests the shyster, but not before hilarity ensues.

 

42     The Bookie Barber (S2E28)

A stranger wanders in and entices Floyd with the idea of having a two chair barber shop. Since he’s been busier than usual lately Floyd jumps on the idea. However, we mayberry9soon find out that the new barber is a bookie using Floyd’s establishment as a front for his gambling operation. Andy puts bits & pieces together and realizes what is going on, but he has to go out of town and assures Barney that they’ll take care of the problem when he gets back to Mayberry. Of course the well-intentioned but ham-fisted deputy decides to take matters into his own hands…by going into the shop incognito as a little old lady. Fortunately Andy arrives just in time to save Barney’s bacon. Barney dresses in drag multiple times over the years and it’s always hilarious.

 

41     Opie’s Charity (S1E8)

Andy is disappointed in Opie for giving so little to a charity drive…until he learns the reason. It turns out that the youngster is saving mayberry10money to buy a needy friend a coat. In an amusing subplot Andy runs into a man everyone thinks is dead but it turns out that he just left his wife because she’s an irritating nag. Andy underestimating Opie happens multiple times thru the series, and it’s always heartwarming to see the sheriff humbled when he realizes he’s wrong. We’ve all been there, right??

 

40     The Sermon for Today                 (S4E4)

Mayberry wouldn’t seem to be a town in need of a sermon about relaxing & enjoying life, butmayberry11 when a visiting preacher delivers that message it turns out that it is indeed a lesson the townsfolk need to learn. An effort to put the minister’s words into effect takes a wrong turn, evolving into everyone rushing around trying to put together a band concert. Fans of the soap opera General Hospital might recognize the preacher, portrayed by actor David Lewis, who played wealthy patriarch Edward Quartermaine on GH from 1978-93.

 

39     If I Had a Quarter Million Dollars          (S5E22)

Barney finds $250,000 from a recent bank robbery. Andy calls the FBI, who indicates that they’ll send an agent to retrieve the money. Of course Barney is Barney and mayberry12he decides to launch an investigation and try to draw out the thief. So you have a potential appearance by a thief and an FBI agent coming to town, with dimwitted & overzealous Barney in the middle of the action. We know where this is headed, right??

 

38     Wedding Bells for Aunt Bea (S2E26)

After busybody Clara convinces Aunt Bea that Andy can’t move on with his life and get remarried until Bea finds a husband mayberry13our favorite old maid reluctantly responds to the flirtations of slovenly dry cleaner Fred Goss. For some reason finding Aunt Bea & Andy spouses is an obsession in TAGS, and in this episode Andy is talking about Aunt Bea getting hitched to Mr. Goss really soon after they begin dating. Of course Aunt Bea isn’t interested in Goss at all, a fact that Andy eventually realizes. Fred Goss is a quirky minor character, the kind that really fleshes out our fond impression of Mayberry. Also worth noting is the second & last ever mention of Opie’s deceased mother, and the fact that we learn that Otis has his own key to the courthouse.

 

37     TV or Not TV               (S5E23)

Andy gains some widespread notoriety after a magazine article about him, entitled Sheriff Without a Gun, is published. Three strangers come to town saying they are mayberry14Hollywood producers interested in doing a television show based on Andy, which gets Barney all excited. Not all is as it seems though, and Andy eventually discovers that the threesome are thieves who think Mayberry’s bank is an easy target (an assumption others made during TAGS’ run). The Sheriff Without a Gun story would be the launching point for a four episode arc in Season 6 in which the Taylors visit Hollywood where a movie based on the magazine article is being made. An interesting fact: Gavin MacCleod, who would go on to fame in the 70’s & 80’s as Murray Slaughter on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Captain Stubing on The Love Boat, made two TAGS appearances. The first was in this episode as one of the crooks, and the second was in one of the Hollywood episodes as the actor portraying Andy in the Sheriff Without a Gun film.

 

36     Opie’s Rival (S3E10)

I’ve gone on record with my opinion that county nurse Peggy McMillan, who appeared in four episodes, is one of my favorites amongst Andy’s girlfriends. Here, in whatmayberry15 would be her final appearance, Opie becomes jealous of all the time Andy is spending with Peggy and makes efforts to torpedo the relationship. Of course deep down Opie is a good kid and ultimately tells Andy the truth. Andy doesn’t get angry but has a very empathetic conversation with the boy. I read somewhere that the powers-that-be dropped Peggy because they believed the actor and/or character was too glamorous, which would explain why the dowdy & decidedly unappealing Helen Crump eventually settled in as Andy’s permanent significant other.

 

35     The Beauty Contest (S1E16)

Founder’s Day is a big deal in Mayberry. The townsfolk celebrate it more during the run of the show than Christmas!! In this case Andy is tapped to judge a pageant as mayberry16part of the celebration and feels pressured to make multiple people…from Mayor Pike to his own son Opie…happy by picking their particular candidate. His girlfriend…Ellie Walker…is even entered in the competition. Though Andy stresses out about the situation he eventually makes the right decision, choosing an elderly lady who did a lot of work organizing the event. Episodes like this showcase the quirky but loveable community that has made Mayberry one of the most beloved of all fictional towns.

 

34     Barney’s Physical     (S5E2)

The state sets up new rules concerning the physical requirements to be a law enforcement officer. Barney is too short & thin, and thus believes he is about to lose his mayberry17job. However, Aunt Bea decides that she can fatten him up a bit and Andy comes up with a uniquely funny way to stretch him out to the proper height. Alas, at zero hour Barney hasn’t gained enough weight…until Andy figures out a hilarious loophole. The length of Barney’s law enforcement career varies throughout the series, but in this episode he is said to have been the deputy for five years (meaning he was brand new to the job when the show began).

 

33     Andy Saves Barney’s Morale (S1E20)

I feel like the title of this episode could have been used about a dozen times in the first five seasons since Andy propping up mayberry18Barney’s fragile ego is a recurring theme. In this instance Andy leaves the deputy in charge while he goes out of town for the day (Andy sure does take a lot of day trips). Upon returning Andy is pleased to find the streets of Mayberry even quieter than usual…until he discovers that it is because Barney has arrested practically the entire town, including Mayor Pike and Aunt Bea, for various lame reasons. After Andy dismisses every case Barney becomes a laughingstock and decides to quit (also a recurring theme), but Andy uses reverse psychology to get citizens to rally around the despondent deputy so he’ll get back on the job.

 

32     Opie and His Merry Men    (S4E12)

While playing Robin Hood in the woods just outside of town Opie and his pals befriend a hobo and begin stealing food from their houses to feed the poor guy. As it mayberry19turns out the man is a slothful con artist taking advantage of the children’s naiveté, using their innocent understanding of Robin Hood to encourage them to steal and paint Andy as a villainous sheriff. Andy has to trick the bum into revealing his deception in order to convince the boys of the truth.

 

31     Those Gossipin’ Men (S1E15)

When Barney cuts himself cleaning his gun Aunt Bea, Clara, & Emma Watson start gossiping and somehow the story mayberry20spreads thru town that Barney got shot. Andy teases the ladies about gossip so they decide to teach him the lesson that mean are as guilty of it as women. She sneakily gets Andy to believe in & proliferate the idea that a downtrodden shoe salesmen visiting Mayberry is a talent scout for a TV show. Multiple townsfolk show up at the poor guy’s hotel room to “order shoes” and clandestinely audition. It is only as the man is leaving that Andy realizes that he really is a shoe salesman and that the joke is on him. This episode is a shining example of what makes Mayberry such a treasured place, full of peculiar characters and wholesome charm.

 

30     Barney and the Governor  (S3E15)

While in full law & order mode Barney tickets a limo that parks in a No Parking zone. It turns out that it’s the governor’s vehicle, so Barney becomes convinced he’s mayberry21about to lose his job, especially when the governor himself tells Andy & a stressed out Mayor Stoner that he’s coming to Mayberry. In reality the governor just wants to praise Barney for upholding the law, but in true TAGS fashion the blundering deputy doesn’t know that. Things are further complicated when both Barney & the mayor inadvertently become intoxicated before the governor’s visit. The uptight Mayor Stoner is a great addition, and it’s a shame he was only around during Season 3. Drunk Barney is always a fun gag. One thing I have never understood about this episode is why the governor’s chauffer (portrayed by Ron Howard’s father Rance) was driving thru Mayberry without the governor in the first place.

 

29     Ellie Saves a Female (S1E27)

After local tomboy Frankie Flint comes into Walker’s Drug Store and looks longingly at some cosmetics Ellie becomes hellbent & determined to give her some products mayberry22for a makeover. Andy tries to talk her out of it knowing the idea won’t go over at all with her brusque father, but Ellie won’t give up even after an initial rejection by Mr. Flint. She enlists Barney’s help in covertly bringing Frankie back to town to get all dolled up. When Andy takes the young lady back home after she’s been beautified the farmer doesn’t even recognize her. Andy proceeds to use his infamous Jedi mind tricks to convince the man that it’d be more practical for his daughter to use her female charms to attract a husband. All’s well that ends well.

 

28     Barney and the Cave Rescue    (S4E13)

Andy, Helen, Barney, & Thelma Lou go on a picnic. Barney is bummed out after being teased all over town for mistakenlymayberry23 trying to arrest the bank president for breaking into the bank, so he decides to sulk with Thelma Lou by his side while Andy & Helen go exploring in a nearby cave. When Andy & Helen become trapped inside the cave Barney rallies the townsfolk for a search & rescue mission. Things don’t go exactly as planned, but Andy finds a way to make Barney look like a hero anyway.

 

27     The Horse Trader (S1E14)

The town council assigns Andy & Barney the task of selling an old worn out Civil War cannon, but they can’t even give it mayberry24away. When an antiques dealer rolls thru town Andy sees a great opportunity and…embellishes…the history of the cannon. Ellie & Barney are horrified by Andy’s dishonesty, and when Opie emulates his father’s tactics to score a pair of roller skates the sheriff sees the error of his ways. The father/son interaction is perfect as always, and both Barney & Ellie have some funny moments.

 

26     Gomer the House Guest             (S4E6)

Gomer gets fired from Wally’s Filling Station because he likes to talk too much instead of actually working (we’ve all known mayberry25people like that). The bigger issue is that he lived in a room attached to the station so now he’s homeless. Andy graciously offers to let Gomer stay at the Taylor house until he can find something more permanent, but that turns out to be a hysterical mistake. Gomer is used to living alone, which means he stays up late & does noisy chores at odd hours, and since he’s no longer at the station customers pop by late at night wanting him to diagnose what’s wrong with their vehicle. Andy, Aunt Bea, & Opie grow weary and don’t get enough sleep so they begin to turn on each other. Sheriff Taylor finally becomes fed up and decides to talk to Wally, convincing him that Gomer’s personality helps the station be successful. Wally rehires Gomer & all is well. There’s no Barney, and the continuity is a bit off since Gomer had previously been shown to know nothing about automobiles except how to pump gas, but those are minor flaws in an otherwise excellent episode.

Points of Ponderation…..Episode 2.17

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

 

 

 

 

 

apatowDirector Judd Apatow on stress eating over Donald Trump: “I think it tests our ability to not want to numb out. There’s so many things that are hard to hear every day that you do want to have some Oreos. Like people say, what do you invest in during the Trump era? I feel like, Hostess Cakes. Most of us are just scared and eating ice cream.” No, not most of us Judd. The vast majority of real Americans outside the liberal Lands of Make Believe in New York, Chicago, & Hollywood are mature functioning adults with common sense & a soul. You enjoy those Twinkies though.

 

 


I’m not a green thumb at all, but some of y’all probably are, so here you go.

 

 

Very sad to hear of the imminent closing of Ringling Brothers/Barnum & Bailey Circus, which has been beguiling children of all ages for a century & a half. I loved the circus when I was a kid. Unfortunately a combination of the modern entertainment landscape & pressure from animal rights wackos doomed The Greatest Show On Earth. I’ll refrain from a rant about animal “rights”, but I can speak to the entertainment angle. I’ve opined in the past that I think brick & mortar bookstores might eventually become obsolete thanks to Amazon & other online book sellers. Netflix and streaming services in general have surely had an impact on movie theaters. The Internet itself can provide hours of infotainment. I’m as much of a homebody as anyone, but I’m not so sure that’s a good thing for any of us. It seems like our population is becoming less & less sociable, with business & technology as willing accomplices. We can shop at home. Watch movies at home. Download & read books onto our e-readers without setting foot into a library or bookstore. Food delivery & drive-thrus decrease the need of sitting down in cpotatoa restaurant for a nice meal. Grocery delivery is already a thing in many big cities and will likely become more widespread. How long until all schools are online, eliminating snow days & the spread of disease among children?? Many places of employment already offer work from home options. Pretty soon we’re going to be a nation full of Howard Hughes-esque hermits, the necessity…and the amusement…of ever leaving home virtually eliminated.

 

 


Food for thought.

 

 

 

Speaking of Donald Trump…

Whoopi Goldberg. Barbara Streisand. Al Sharpton. Amy Schumer. Cher. Jon Stewart. Miley Cyrus. Samuel L. Jackson. Raven Symone. Chelsea Handler. What do all of these people have in common?? They are all “celebrities” who indicated months ago that if Trump won the election they’d leave the United States. What else do they have in common?? If my information is correct…they are all full of crap and aren’t going anywhere because they know where their bread is buttered – right here in the good ol’ USA. Just like many similar people of their ilk they like to hear themselves talk but don’t have the cahonas to back up the garbage they spew. I wish someone…as a joke (sort of)…would just rent moving vans and have them show up at these morally bankrupt sycophants’ houses. I haven’t been able to verify it, but I think I read somewhere that alleged comedian George Lopez has already or atleast indicated that he is soon going to actually follow thru with his promise to leave the country. If that is the case then I atleast have to respect him for being a man of his word.

 

 

I have had occasion…twice…to catch the 1989 rom-com When Harry Met Sally on television recently. The first time I was pleased. The second harrysallytime my heart was filled with absolute joy. When doing my 100 Favorite Films series a few years ago I ranked it 46th, and upon further reflection I think I probably undervalued it by atleast a couple dozen spots.

 

 

 


 

Yep. Exactly.

 

 

 

stormjesusUpdate: I’m still doing well with staying away from sociopolitical debates on social media, and I’m not posting anything controversial or quarrelsome on my own page. However, I still do a bit of trolling and recently observed this gem in a thread discussing climate change: “The Right seems to think God controls the weather, which he does not.” Seriously…someone actually offered that up as a thoughtful opinion. I can tell that my transition from annoyed dissenter to quiet observer is going well because that particular comment made me laugh out loud rather than become ticked off as I likely would have not long ago. Look, to each their own. I understand that people have a variety of spiritual & theological views, and that’s fine. However, my Bible tells me…in the 8th chapter of Matthew…that “when Jesus got into a boat, His disciples followed Him. And suddenly a great tempest arose on the sea, so that the boat was covered with the waves. But He was asleep. Then His disciples came to Him and awoke Him, saying, ‘Lord, save us! We are perishing!’ But He said to them, ‘Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?’ Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. So the men marveled, saying, ‘Who can this be, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?’”. So yeah…God does control the weather. And that’s all I have to say about that.

Points of Ponderation…..Episode 1.17

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

 

 

 

 

 

mourningEvery time a really well-known & highly regarded celebrity dies there is a ton of reaction. And EVERY TIME there is a lot of reaction I see some ignoramus whining on social media about the fact that firefighters, police, military, etc. don’t get the same kind of love from the masses. It’s one of the most asinine things I’ve ever witnessed. It’s a false equivalency. Celebrities, just by the nature of their profession, have a bigger stage, and their fame may last decades touching multiple generations. They have a huge sphere of influence. If the deceased was a really good actor who starred in beloved movies or TV shows or a legendary sports figure who had a Hall of Fame career their death has an even bigger impact. The loss is a communal experience. By comparison the soldier or first responder is probably unknown outside of family, friends, & their town. That doesn’t make their lives less valuable or their demise less sad. To the contrary…I think we all know better. People that post this kind of drivel online are trying their darndest to be insightful. It’s their attempt at being deep & introspective. Unfortunately it just exposes a profound level of obliviousness.

 

 

 

I’m just going to leave this right here :-).

 

 

 

Though I am not a believer in the New Year’s Resolution I did make a handful of promises to myself for 2017, one of them being a pledge to refrain from pointless arguments about politics on social media. I must give myself a small & admittedly premature pat on the back, because in the past few weeks I have refrained from numerous opportunities to post things on Facebook or comment on stuff other people have posted. I have one old friend in particular who, though he has always been a liberal, has gone completely off the rails after Donald Trump’s election victory. I suppose he’s in good company, or atleast amongst well-known company.

  • I don’t watch awards shows all that much for various reasons, but thanks to modern technology I am up to speed on Meryl Streep’s streepcomments at the recent Golden Globes. Oh boy…where to begin. Well first of all, the “Trump made fun of a handicapped guy” narrative her entire diatribe was based on had been debunked a long time ago. Come on Meryl…try to keep up. Secondly, one of the reasons I don’t like awards shows is because too many of these self-righteous, pompous, self-absorbed, ill-informed, hypocritical Hollywood types use them as a bully pulpit for sociopolitical commentary. For pete’s sake…the woman was accepting a lifetime achievement award for her well-regarded career, and she chose that moment to go off on a rant?? I can’t even wrap my head around how foolish that is!! Are the words “humility” & “appreciative” even in the vocabulary of people like Meryl Streep?? Now please…don’t misunderstand. As an American Ms. Streep & others of her ilk have just as much right to express their opinion as you & me. I am simply suggesting that a) their opinions are generally moronic & demonstrably wrong and b) for people that get paid millions of dollars to work in a form of mass communication their communication skills & how they often decide to express themselves is mystifyingly dumb. I found it particularly amusing how she was mercilessly called on the carpet by many for once giving exiled director & known pedophile Roman Polanski a standing ovation at yet another awards show yet now thinks President-elect Trump is a scourge on humanity. Hollywood apparently hasn’t gotten the memo that the masses aren’t quite so unaware these days and people are SICK & TIRED of the arrogance & doublespeak coming from the left coast. Now, as for Mr. Trump’s spirited response to Meryl Streep…well…perhaps he needs to step away from the keyboard. I almost kinda sorta understand what he was trying to say. Let’s face it…Streep has had her share of duds. Really…look at her filmography. Having said that, the woman has been nominated for 19 Academy Awards & won three times, and taken home a ton of other trophies, so to call her overrated is disingenuous and a misstep by Trump.
  • I thought it’d be difficult to be more ignorant & wrong than Meryl Streep, but Madonna has her beaten by a country mile. In a USA Todaymadonna interview the woman who once writhed seductively on a boat in a wedding dress indicated that Trump’s ascendancy to The White House has left her a broken woman. Someone should probably clue her in to the fact that she was broken WAY before Donald Trump ever even dreamed of running for President. Oh, but wait…it gets better. Madonna actually said…y’all might want to sit down for this…that “What I find really astonishing is how quiet everybody is in my industry. I mean, nobody in the entertainment business except for maybe a handful of people ever speak out about what’s going on. Nobody takes a political stance or expresses an opinion.” ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?? Seriously????? Is she INSANE?!?!?!?? I mean…I don’t even know where to start with that!!!!! It’s…it’s…beyond stupid. To call her statement intellectually dishonest would be an insult to intellectual dishonesty. And these people wonder why we can’t wait to flip them the bird every chance we get. They are stunned that Donald Freakin’ Trump is going to be the next President of the United States. Dear Lord…there is being oblivious, there is being out of touch…and then there is being outright delusional.

 

 


Food for thought.

 

 

 

Speaking of death…..

ttiedWhen I was a kid I used to kind of chuckle at my grandparents when it seemed as if they were going to funeral home visitations quite often. However, now I have reached the age where family friends, contemporaries of my parents or grandparents, & even peers in my age group are passing away and I find myself visiting the funeral home occasionally. When that happens I’m not all that great at finding the right words. Oftentimes I run into people who I haven’t seen in person for many years. Am I supposed to say “it’s good to see you”?? What about when I am introduced to a spouse or family member I’ve never met before?? Is “it’s nice to meet you” appropriate?? There’s nothing good or nice about the situation, right?? Perhaps I am just being neurotic.

The 2016 Sammy Awards – Part 3

SammyAwardeagleBefore we get to the exciting conclusion of the 2016 Sammy Awards it must be noted that less than 24 hours after “journalist” Megyn Kelly was nominated & shared a victory for the DB Cooper Award it was announced that she is leaving Fox News and heading to NBC next summer. I’m not quite sure that qualifies as disappearing, but it’s not the promotion many might think it is. As always, if you haven’t caught up with Part 1 or Part 2 of the show please do so now. Trust me…you’ll be glad you did.

 

Alright, after a brief yet amusing anecdote from our host Steve Harvey, it is a sincere pleasure for The Sammys to welcome, sharveyvia satellite, the next First Lady of the United States. Please give a warm welcome to Melania Trump, who would like to say a few words.

 

melania2“Four score and seven years ago our fathers had a dream. An awesome dream. People in the park playing games in the dark. It was Saturday in the park. I think it was the Fourth of July. And today, my friends, I also have a dream. I have a dream that my children will one day live in a nation where they will be judged only by the content of their character. I have a dream that one day we will live in a nation where people ask not what the country can do for you, but instead ask what you can do for your country. I have a dream that one day we will take not just one small step for man, but one giant leap for mankind. Until that day comes, with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills. We shall never surrender. And when the end is near and we face the final curtain, we will be able to say that we did it our way. To be or not to be…that is the question. Good night, good night. Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow.”

 

 

crystal3Thank you Mrs. Trump. That was…interesting. And now, to present our next award, please welcome two of the biggest movie stars in the world. justin-timberlake-7592Well okay…we did contact some of the biggest movie stars in the world, but they all politely declined our invitation. So instead, please welcome two former hosts of this show…beloved actor & comedian Billy Crystal and talented singer & actor Justin Timberlake!! And the nominees are:

 

 

 

Favorite Movie

 

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2

Dedicated fans of the 2002 original will undoubtedly appreciate the sequel. I feel the same about both…charming, entertaining, yet ultimately prosaic. Watch out for young Elena Kampouris…she’s got star potential.

 

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

Andy Samberg takes his Sandler-esque sense of humor and applies it to a modern day Spinal Tap type of mockumentary. The story follows faux rapper Conner Friel’s rise as part of a boy band thru his evolution to solo artist Conner 4Real. He’s a big star after his debut album, but when a follow-up flops h-a-r-d his life hilariously implodes. There are a ton of cameos from folks like Simon Cowell, Emma Stone, Adam Levine, & Weird Al Yankovic, as well as supporting parts for a bunch of Samberg’s old SNL cronies. Appearances by Seal, Michael Bolton, & Martin Sheen are particularly amusing. The “songs” performed are predictably bad, and to be honest a bit too…colorful…for my taste, but I assume the target demographic will find them hysterically funny in the way that youngsters back in the day appreciated Spinal Tap classics like Sex Farm and Hell Hole. If you enjoy Samberg’s shtick and aren’t easily offended this is the movie for you.

 

Now You See Me 2

The 2013 original was a surprise hit. This sequel doesn’t quite measure up. Outlaw magicians The Four Horsemen return from exile to take down an evil tech guru, but the script is flipped on them as they are goaded into helping an allegedly deceased billionaire steal…something. I don’t know. The plot is too busy and the performances by a superb cast are overly cheeky. It’s entertaining until you pause for five seconds to ponder the implausibilities, and then the whole thing crumbles like a wet paper towel. I rather enjoyed the first film, and I hope the inevitable Part 3 is more crisply written & executed. As for this entry…let’s just be polite and call it acceptably entertaining.

 

Central Intelligence

I have stated repeatedly over the years that I don’t get the love for allegedly funny comedian Kevin Hart, but somehow I always seem to end up watching his movies, which have generally been…tolerable…fun. This is no exception. Hart stars as a former high school big man on campus that…two decades later…has settled into a humdrum middle class existence. The Rock plays the fat kid from high school that was bullied by all the jocks, with the exception of Hart, who befriended him. Nowadays Rock is a buff CIA agent. The juxtaposition is comical. At any rate, there’s something about secret codes, a rogue agent, an allegedly dead partner, etc. The details aren’t important. Our two leading men get caught up in the chaos and there is gunfire & explosions, the occasional lame joke, and a vague attempt at suspense. It’s the kind of film where the actors are engaging but someone should find the screenwriters and give them a stern scolding.

 

For the Love of Spock

Documentaries haven’t typically been nominated for these awards, but the older I get the more I enjoy a good documentary. This one concurrently explores the life of actor Leonard Nimoy and to a greater extent the history & influence of the beloved character he portrayed in the original Star Trek TV show and multiple feature films. It is directed by Nimoy’s son and features a plethora of interviews with Trek cast members old & new, family members, friends, & fans. It is sort of a love letter from a son to his father, but needs to be seen by anyone who considers themselves a Trekkie.

 

Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders

Adam West & Burt Ward, who starred in the infamously campy Batman TV show in the 60’s, return to voice The Caped Crusader & The Boy Wonder in this animated throwback. The Dynamic Duo are faced with a team of their old enemies…Joker, Riddler, Catwoman, & Penguin…who are after some kind of duplicating device that will help them rule the world…or something to that effect. Batman & Robin even follow the baddies to outer space, and somehow Catwoman slips Batman something that makes him start acting way out of character, like a real jerk. He insults Aunt Harriet, fires Alfred, kicks Robin out of Wayne Manor, & takes over as police commissioner as well as mayor. Robin talks Catwoman into giving our favorite superhero the antidote and all’s well that ends well. If you’re a fan of the old television show you’ll enjoy this harmlessly fun movie. If you’ve never seen the show you probably wouldn’t understand.

 

The Secret Life of Pets

You’ve probably seen Toy Story. This is like that, only with animals instead of toys. That isn’t necessarily deleterious, just derivative. Entertaining, but unremarkable.

 

Star Trek: Beyond

This is the third adventure featuring the “new” crew of the Enterprise but the first without JJ Abrams at the helm…and it makes a difference. The new director’s previous work consists mainly of films in the Fast & Furious franchise, which may be viewed as a positive by some…but I’m guessing not many. The story has the Enterprise being attacked by what looks like a crapload of space knives then crash landing, scattering the crew on a hostile planet where the movie’s villain is after some kind of trinket that turns out to be a bio-weapon. Beyond is the cinematic equivalent of nachos & cheese…it tastes good in the moment, but five minutes after you’ve consumed it you have forgotten it and a couple of hours later you’re hungry again. I’ll probably “get it” more after repeat viewings, but the problem is that I really don’t feel a yearning to watch it again. Thus far this new Trek movie series has been better than the TNG films but not nearly as memorable as the six films starring the original crew. My expectations are always high with Trek, and while Beyond could certainly be worse it also could’ve been way better.

 

Batman: The Killing Joke

2016 was a big year for The Caped Crusader and this may be the surprising best of what was offered. Based on a superb & highly regarded 1988 graphic novel that concurrently examines the origin story of The Joker and his plan to drive Commissioner Gordon insane by kidnapping both he & his daughter Barbara, aka Batgirl, there are some…additions…made to the story that weren’t a part of the novel, and while it upset some critics & hardcore Batfans I am not overly offended. The theme that “one bad day” is all that separates almost any of us from a completely different life is a weighty idea to ponder. I vaguely recall actor Kevin Conroy on defunct soap opera Search for Tomorrow in the 1980’s, but in the ensuing years he has voiced Batman in a plethora of animated films & TV shows. Right alongside him is Mark Hamill, who, of course, is better known as Luke Skywalker, but should probably be equally as appreciated for voicing The Joker in all of the same animated shows & movies. Just because this film is animated does not mean that it is for kids, but Batman aficionados will likely enjoy it.

 

Bad Moms

We’ve had Bad Santa, Bad Teacher, & Bad Grandpa. Now we have Bad Moms. The word “bad” in the title basically gives the main characters license to drink, curse, fornicate, & engage in other debauchery. The cast here, led by Mila Kunis & Kristen Bell, is charming and makes it work somehow. I have no children, but I was a kid once and didn’t realize the school PTA (controlled with an iron fist in this movie by super witchy Christina Applegate) could be so…authoritative. I had a difficult time buying into that concept being even remotely plausible. However I do get the prevailing theme that mothers bear a ton of pressure & responsibility, which is probably why I see so many women in their 30’s & 40’s on my Facebook feed posting about wine, ladies’ night, & the need to “get their drink on” like they’re back at the ol’ college sorority house. Look for a particularly humorous cameo from the normally detestable Martha Stewart.

 

Sully

On January 15, 2009 Captain Sully Sullenberger piloted a successful water landing of a US Airways passenger jet into New York’s Hudson River. 155 people were on board and all survived with only minor injuries. Captain Sullenberger became one of those temporary celebrities that dominates the water cooler conversation for a week or two and then fades away into the haze of history. The incomparable Tom Hanks portrays Sullenberger in this biopic, which examines the events surrounding the incident and the NTSB investigation that followed. It’s a solid film…not all that memorable or groundbreaking, but a story that needed to be told. What is successfully conveyed is the professionalism & skillful conduct under pressure of all involved…pilots, flight attendants, first responders, air traffic control, Coast Guard, etc. Hanks has the gravitas to make almost anything he is in better by his mere presence.

 

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Fans of the original Star Wars trilogy may recall that Luke Skywalker destroyed The Death Star in the first film, Episode IV: A New Hope. Rogue One tells the story of how the Rebel Alliance got their hands on the weapon’s blueprint and why it had a fatal flaw that would ultimately lead to its destruction. There are brief appearances by a few familiar faces, but the cast is mostly made up of new characters that we never met in the original films…with good reason. This is a worthy addition to the Star Wars canon, better than 2/3 of the sequel trilogy (I rather enjoyed Revenge of the Sith) and, in my humble opinion, superior to last year’s much anticipated The Force Awakens.

 

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman thinks Superman is an out-of-control God-like figure who must be stopped. Superman thinks Batman is an out-of-control vigilante who must be stopped. They battle it out in a brawl that lasts longer than Ronda Rousey’s last two fights put together, but hey, both of their mothers are named Martha so they become pals. Lex Luthor is around to stir the pot and act like a neurotic sociopath who really needs to lay off the caffeine. Wonder Woman is present for no apparent reason other than to set up a Justice League movie. All the other usual suspects are involved as well…Lois Lane, Alfred Pennyworth, Perry White. It’s quite the obnoxious spectacle thanks to director Zach Snyder, whose style just doesn’t frost my cupcake. Having said that, as a longtime Batman fan I am all in on Ben Affleck’s performance as The Caped Crusader. It is my understanding that Snyder will not have his fingerprints on a future film focusing solely on Affleck’s version of The Dark Knight, and for that I am thankful. I am not a comic book film guy…I’ve not seen any of the recent Marvel “Universe” movies…so I didn’t have unrealistic expectations going into this thing. Those that are really into that whole deal probably either love or hate Dawn of Justice. I am somewhere in the middle…I don’t dislike it at all, but I don’t foresee many repeat viewings in my future unless it’s to figure out what the heck I saw the first time.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

 

For the Love of Spock. I have become very difficult to please when it comes to movies. I continue to lean toward comedy, but those tend to be rather vulgar & spocksophomoric these days. Action films have seemingly become even louder & more cerebrally vacant than ever before. Hollywood caters to the lowest common denominator, serving up the cinematic equivalent of soda pop & potato chips…empty calories with no nutritional value. But even a broken clock is right twice a day, so occasionally they give us a gem. Trekkies NEED to watch this film. I actually became a bit misty toward the end, which was completely unexpected. Yes the target audience is comparatively small. And there’s really nothing groundbreaking about the stories told. But that’s okay. FtLoS knows what it is. It has a very specific focus. 7 out of 10 people may have zero interest in watching it, but the three people who do will absolutely love it. Trek has been a part of the pop culture landscape for a half century, and there’s a reason for that. Part of that reason can be found right here.

 

 

 

tomi-lahrenTo present our final award of the evening please welcome a rising star in the news business. At only 24 years old she has grabbed the attention of political observers on both sides of the aisle with her hard hitting commentaries presented thru viral videos. Please give a rousing ovation to Tomi Lahren!! And the nominees are:

 

 

 

Biggest News Story

 

U.S. Presidential Election

We began 2016 with a crowded field of candidates vying for the Republican nomination. Conversely, the Democratic nomination was never in question, as Hillary Clinton was always The Chosen One despite token yet spirited opposition from socialist Bernie Sanders. By the end of the summer it became clear that it would be Donald Trump vs. Mrs. Clinton, and voters of all persuasions began pondering if this is really the best America can do. Trump’s participation in the process, once thought to be an amusing distraction, evolved into a serious candidacy despite the man’s plethora of foibles. Both sides underestimated the anger & disenchantment of America’s Heartland with a decade of growing racial tension, fragile foreign policy, fading military power, decreasing moral fiber, & amplified political correctness. Trump hit all the right notes despite his penchant for sticking his foot in his mouth. His biggest weakness was also his biggest strength. Meanwhile, HRC was a terribly unappealing candidate to most everyone outside of radical left wing strongholds in urban metropolises like New York City, Los Angeles, & Chicago. His bull in a china shop bravado against her unethical behavior & vaguely creepy demeanor was a disturbing yet entertaining battle royal. In the aftermath of a Trump victory leftists in the media & Hollywood have been throwing an endless temper tantrum, which probably foreshadows a really interesting four years.

 

Aleppo

Aleppo is a city in Syria. As a matter of fact it is one of the oldest cities in the world and is inhabited by both Christians & Muslims. A civil war has be ongoing in Syria for several years, and the city itself has seen intense fighting. I won’t pretend to know all the facts of what has happened there or the foreign policy implications, but it has been a topic of conversation here in America.

 

Hurricane Matthew

The first Level 5 hurricane to hit the United States since 2007 began near the end of September and caused destruction & chaos in Haiti, The Bahamas, & Cuba before hitting the coasts of Florida & the Carolinas in the second week of October, causing power outages and significant flooding.

 

Scalia’s Death

The Supreme Court lost its most ardent conservative voice in February with the sudden death of Justice Antonin Scalia at the age of 79. Scalia had been a strong defender of The Constitution since his appointment to The Court three decades earlier. His loss is so significant that a replacement has yet to be vetted & confirmed, although I expect that to change in the next few months.

 

Zika Virus

Every year or two another killer virus pops up that no one seems to know how to obliterate. Zika isn’t exactly new, having been around since the 50’s. However, in 2016 the virus spread from Africa to Asia to North & South America. It seemed to especially be a problem in Brazil, causing significant concern since that is where the Summer Olympics were being held. To my knowledge the mass hysteria was overblown and no Olympic athletes or fans were infected.

 

Orlando Mass Shooting

On June 12, 2016 yet another Muslim sympathizer decided to go nuts, killing 49 people and wounding 53 others inside a gay nightclub in Florida. I’m not really sure what to think or say about the whole thing except that evil exists in the world and it is tragic when innocent lives are lost for no good reason.

 

Samsung Recall

Samsung’s Galaxy Note has been a successful product for several years. However, in 2016 they began randomly catching fire & exploding. Obviously the product was recalled. Seriously folks…just get an iPhone. You won’t regret it.

 

Brexit

In June voters in the United Kingdom (a united nation comprised of the countries of England, Scotland, Wales, & Northern Ireland) decided to leave the European Union. I am not familiar enough with European politics to understand all the hows & whys, and I have no idea whether or not this is a positive occurrence. As an American I do understand the value of freedom & independence, and I cannot imagine ever merging with Canada & Mexico to form some kind of supernation.

 

Tennessee Wildfires

In November the Smoky Mountain region of the United States battled wildfires that did significant damage to the cities of Gatlinburg & Pigeon Forge, home of the Dollywood amusement park. 14k people were forced to evacuate. 16k acres were affected. 14 people died and 134 people were injured. These were the deadliest wildfires in the eastern U.S. in nearly 70 years.

 

WV Floods

The southern half of my home state was hit hard by floods back in June. Ten inches of rain fell in less than 24 hours, resulting in atleast 23 deaths and the loss of hundreds of homes in four counties. 44 of our 55 counties were declared disaster areas.

 

Dallas Police Shootings

In early July five police officers were killed and nine others injured in Dallas, TX following a Black Lives Matter rally. To be fair it is said that the event itself was a peaceful protest. The officers present were tasked with keeping the crowd safe, and it is absolutely sickening that they lost their lives to a racist scumbag when they did nothing wrong.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

The Election. Let’s face it…the 2016 election dominated the news. Nearly every other story was dwarfed by it, and the candidates were asked to weigh in on other election-dayprominent events, making them tangentially tied to just about everything that happened in 2016. Hillary Clinton & Donald Trump were on our TVs, computer screens, & newspapers constantly. There was no escape. Even in the aftermath of the election the battle has waged on thanks to a complicit left wing news media and mindless celebrities that won’t let it die. And now we move to the next phase, which is a Trump Presidency, whether one likes it or not. I am inclined to believe that it is not the end of civilization as we know it. Though I am sure President Trump will make decisions that I won’t agree with, I also think he will surprise many folks with some positive choices & favorable results. We’d probably all be better off just ignoring the “mainstream” press & inane ramblings from Hollywood, although I know that is difficult. Let’s just see what happens. I think everything will be okay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

2016

golf icon Arnold Palmer…astronaut & former U.S. Senator John Glenn…writer/director/actor/producer Garry Marshall (Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, Mork & Mindy, Pretty Woman)…legendary women’s basketball coach Pat Summitt…boxing legend Cassius Clay…authors Harper Lee (To Kill A Mockingbird), WP Kinsella (Shoeless Joe), Alvin Toffler (Future Shock), Tim LaHaye (Left Behind), Richard Adams (Watership Down), & Pat Conroy (The Prince of Tides, The Great Santini)…rock icons Glenn Frey, Prince, & David Bowie…Agnes Nixon (creator of soap operas All My Children, Loving, & One Life to Live)…former NFL head coach (Philadelphia Eagles) & defensive coordinator (Chicago Bears) Buddy Ryan…former First Lady Nancy Reagan…Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia…Pulitzer prize winning playwright Edward Albee…former MLB player & broadcaster Joe Garagiola…comedians Garry Shandling & Bob Elliot…sportscasters John Saunders & Craig Sager…actresses Carrie Fisher (the Star Wars series, The Blues Brothers, When Harry Met Sally), Debbie Reynolds (Singin’ in the Rain), Florence Henderson (The Brady Bunch), Patty Duke (The Miracle Worker), Doris Roberts (Everybody Loves Raymond, Remington Steele, Christmas Vacation), Gloria DeHaven, Ann Morgan Guilbert (Grumpier Old Men, The Nanny), Zsa Zsa Gabor, Margaret Whitton (Major League), & Ronnie Claire Edwards (The Waltons)…Ray Tomlinson (inventor of e-mail)…physician Henry Heimlich (inventor of the Heimlich Maneuver)…writer/producer Earl Hamner Jr. (The Waltons, Falcon Crest, The Twilight Zone)…retired pro wrestlers Hayabusa, Lord James Blears, Joanie Laurer (aka Chyna), Balls Mahoney, Lord Littlebrook, Frenchy Martin, Blackjack Mulligan, Mr. Fuji, & “Iron” Mike Sharpe…journalist Morley Safer (60 Minutes)…televangelist Jan Crouch (TBN)…former NFL players/coaches Ted Marchibroda & Marion Campbell…Richard Trentladge (jingle writer for Oscar Meyer)…actors Abe Vigoda (The Godfather, Barney Miller), Alan Rickman (Die Hard, the Harry Potter series), Gene Wilder (Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein), Alan Thicke (Growing Pains), Bernard Fox (Bewitched, The Andy Griffith Show, Titanic), Kevin Meaney (Uncle Buck TV show), Fyvush Finkel (Picket Fences), Pat Harrington Jr. (One Day at a Time), Alexis Arquette (The Wedding Singer), Dan Haggerty (Grizzly Adams), Richard Libertini (Fletch, Awakenings, Lethal Weapon 4), Burt Kwouk (the Pink Panther films), Alan Young (Mister Ed), Kenny Baker (R2-D2 in Star Wars), Steven Hill (Law & Order), George Gaynes (Punky Brewster, Police Academy, General Hospital), Ron Lester (Varsity Blues), William Christopher (Father Mulcahey on MASH), Jack Riley (The Bob Newhart Show), Ron Glass (Barney Miller), Tony Burton (Rocky), George Kennedy (The Dirty Dozen, The Naked Gun, Dallas), Barry Jenner, Anthony Addabbo (Guiding Light), Larry Drake (L.A. Law), Anton Yelchin (Star Trek), Ken Howard (The White Shadow), Bill Nunn (Spider-Man, Sister Act, Do the Right Thing), William Schallert (The Andy Griffith Show, The Patty Duke Show), James Noble (Benson), Hugh O’Brien (The Shootist, Wyatt Earp), Joseph Mascolo (Days of Our Lives), David Huddleston (The Big Lebowski, Santa Claus: The Movie), Robert Vaughn (The Man From UNCLE), George S. Irving (voice of Heat Miser in The Year Without a Santa Claus), & Larkin Malloy (Guiding Light, The Edge of Night, All My Children)…troubled former NFL RB Lawrence Phillips…”journalist” Gwen Ifill…baseball Hall-of-Famer Monte Irvin…soap opera producer Claire Labine (General Hospital)…songwriters/musicians Frank Sinatra Jr., Leonard Cohen, George Michael, Merle Haggard, Paul Kantner (Jefferson Starship), Bobby Vee, Matt Roberts (Three Doors Down), Holly Dunn, Steve Young (Seven Bridges Road), Pete Fountain, Jimmie Van Zant, Leon Russell, Jack Hammer (Great Balls of Fire), Christina Grimmie, Rikki Martin, Buckwheat Zydeco, & Maurice White (Earth, Wind, & Fire)…MMA fighter Kimbo Slice…former U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno…voice actor Joe Alaskey (succeeded Mel Blanc in performing Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Sylvester, & Tweety)…retired MLB players Tony Phillips & Milt Pappas…Oscar winning director Curtis Hanson (L.A. Confidential, Wonder Boys)…wine maker Peter Mondavi…Cuban dictator Fidel Castro…New Orleans Saints DE Will Smith & NY Jets RB Joe McKnight…Sir George Martin (record producer for The Beatles)…former Israeli Prime Minister Shimon Peres…sports journalist & tennis commentator Bud Collins…Jim Kimsey (co-founder of AOL)…NASCAR team owner Carl Haas…Rob Ford (former crackhead Mayor of Toronto)…WV radio personalities “Cadillac” Jim Stallings & Lacy Neff…EWTN founder Mother Angelica…former Duke University AD Tom Butters…retired NBA players Dwayne “Pearl” Washington, Brooks Thompson, & Sean Rooks…former Governor & Senator from Ohio George Voinovich…hockey Hall-of-Famer Gordie Howe…former MLB pitcher Ralph Branca (pitcher who gave up The Shot Heard ‘Round the World)…TV host Bill “Chilly Billy” Cardille… Jim Delligatti (creator of the Big Mac)…retired NFL coach Dennis Green…television psychic Miss Cleo…retired boxers Bobby Chacon & Aaron Pryor…conservative icon Phyllis Schlafly…former NFL players Cary Blanchard, Dennis Byrd, Keion Carpenter, Quentin Groves, Rashaan Salaam, & Fulton Walker…political host/commentator John McLaughlin…MLB pitcher Jose Fernandez (Miami Marlins)…former NBC Chairman & CEO Grant Tinker…former Congressman & WV Secretary of State Ken Hechler…retired BYU football coach Lavell Edwards…Jeopardy champion Cindy Stowell

 

 

 

2015

2015

college basketball player Lauren Hill…musician/songwriter Gary Richrath (REO Speedwagon)…actors Leonard Nimoy (Star Trek’s Mr. Spock), James Best (Dukes of Hazzard, The Andy Griffith Show), Christopher Lee (the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Star Wars prequels), Robert Loggia (Scarface, Big), Al Molinaro (Happy Days, Joanie Loves Chachi), Wayne Rogers (MASH), Taylor Negron (Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Punchline), Richard Dysart (L.A. Law), Windell Middlebrooks (Body of Proof, Miller High Life commercials), Martin Brooks (Dallas, The Six Million Dollar Man), Geoffrey Lewis (Every Which Way But Loose, Any Which Way You Can), Tony Longo, Patrick Macnee (The Avengers), Dean Jones (The Love Bug), David Canary (All My Children, Bonanza), Omar Sharif (Lawrence of Arabia), Alex Rocco (The Godfather, Facts of Life), Marty Ingles, Nathaniel Marston (One Life to Live), Dick Van Patten (Eight is Enough, Spaceballs), Roger Rees (Cheers, The West Wing)…legendary blues man BB King…Bobbi Kristina Brown (tragic daughter of Whitney Houston & Bobby Brown)…Oscar winning composer James Horner (Field of Dreams, Titanic, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Braveheart, Apollo 13, The Perfect Storm)…televangelist Rev. Robert Schuller…NFL Hall-of-Famers Chuck Bednarik, Frank Gifford, & Ken Stabler…Gary Dahl (inventor of the Pet Rock)…ESPN sportscaster Stuart Scott…actresses Donna Douglas (Ellie Mae on The Beverly Hillbillies), Yvonne Craig (Batman, Star Trek), Maureen O’Hara (Miracle on 34th Street), Ellen Dow (The Wedding Singer), Grace Lee Whitney (Petty Officer Rand on Star Trek), Patricia Elliott (One Life to Live), Suzanne Crough (Tracy on The Partridge Family), Mary Ellen Trainor (Die Hard, the Lethal Weapon series), Ann Meara (Archie Bunker’s Place), Betsy Palmer (Friday the 13th), & Amanda Peterson (Can’t Buy Me Love, A Year in the Life)…Betty Willis (designer of the Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas sign)…former NBA coach Flip Saunders…horror writer & director Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street)…infamous stripper Blaze Starr…former publisher & NY Mets owner Nelson Doubleday Jr….retired basketball players Moses Malone, “Hot Rod” Hundley, Roy Tarpley, Jerome Kersey, Meadowlark Lemon & Marques Haynes (Harlem Globetrotters), Darryl Dawkins, “Hot Rod” Williams, & Anthony Mason…Huntington, WV weatherman & TV personality Jule Huffman (aka Mr. Cartoon)…MLB Hall-of-Famers Yogi Berra & Ernie Banks…entrepreneur Lillian Vernon…former Governors Arch Moore Jr. (WV) & Mario Cuomo (NY)…retired NFL player & coach Allie Sherman…singers Andrae Crouch, Ben E. King (Stand By Me), Lesley Gore (It’s My Party), Little Jimmy Dickens, Jack Ely (Louie Louie as part of The Kingsmen), Percy Sledge (When A Man Loves A Woman), Jim Ed Brown, …Las Vegas entrepreneur Kirk Kerkorian…legendary college basketball coaches Jerry Tarkanian (UNLV), Guy Lewis (Houston), & Dean Smith (North Carolina)…authors Jackie Collins, E.L. Doctorow, & Colleen McCullough (The Thorn Birds)…pro wrestling legends Verne Gagne, “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes, Tommy Rogers, “The Nature Boy” Buddy Landell, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Nick Bockwinkel, & Larry Winters…journalist Bob Simon (60 Minutes)…Hall-of-Fame golfer Billy Casper…former U.S. Senator & actor Fred Thompson…screenwriter Melissa Matheson (E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial)…Bud Paxson (founder of Home Shopping Network)…producers Jerry Weintraub (Ocean’s Eleven, Diner, The Karate Kid), Samuel Goldwyn Jr., & Harve Bennett (Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan & four other Star Trek films, The MOD Squad, The Six Million Dollar Man, The Bionic Woman)…former MLB players Minnie Minoso, Dave Henderson, & Darryl Hamilton…TV announcer Gary Owens (Laugh-In, Space Ghost)…Ed Sabol (founder of NFL Films)…Gene Gene the Dancing Machine (The Gong Show)…former Speaker of the U.S. House Jim Wright…NASCAR announcer Steve Byrnes…Nobel Prize winning mathematician John Forbes Nash Jr. (subject of A Beautiful Mind)…trailblazing golfer Calvin Peete…attorney & author (Helter Skelter) Vincent Bugliosi…former UNC basketball coach Bill Guthridge…retired NFL kicker Garo Yepremian…songstress Natalie Cole…former NASCAR driver & broadcaster Buddy Baker…retired NFL coach Lindy Infante (Green Bay Packers, Indianapolis Colts)…former National Security Advisor Sandy Berger…rock musicians Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead) & Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots & Velvet Revolver)

 

 

The 2016 Sammy Awards – Part 2

SammyAwardeagleBefore we get too far into the new year we like to take a look back at all the highs & lows of the previous year. Welcome back to the show, and if you haven’t checked out Part 1 please do so. Really, it’s okay…we’ll wait.

 

 

 

After another amusing anecdote from our host Steve Harvey it is time to present our next award. He’s been waiting patiently billy_bushon a bus outside…alone & without a live microphone. Please welcome the former host of Access Hollywood, a refugee from NBC’s Today Show, & the nephew of former President George H.W. Bush. Give a warm welcome to Billy Bush!! And the nominees are:

 

 

 

The Twitter Award for Most Interesting Water Cooler Topic

 

The Walking Dead

Am I the only person in America that has never seen one single second of this show?? More importantly, is it weird that I couldn’t possibly care less??

 

 

Transgender Politics

In 21st Century America we don’t even know the difference between a male & female. It’s all about how a person “feels”. I think every science teacher I ever had would likely disagree. I don’t follow the crowd. I know what I know and facts are facts. If you disagree that’s alright, but just know that you’re part of the problem.

 

 

PokeMon Go

Back in the summer of 2016 this was a big thing for about five minutes. I’m not sure how it works, but I guess people download something on their phones and then seek out imaginary ghosts or something. Are their points?? Does anyone eventually win or lose the game?? I don’t know. I’m old & lazy. This game sounds like too much work with not enough reward.

 

 

The $20 Bill

Since 1928 the $20 bill has featured the face of Andrew Jackson, who was the 7th President of the United States. But a movement arose to change that for some unknown reason. Folks decided to find a woman’s face…any woman…to put on the bill. I don’t know…equality, inclusiveness, fairness…some politically correct crap like that is to blame. Names that were suggested included Eleanor Roosevelt & Rosa Parks, but a poll that I never even knew existed was apparently voted on by over a half million people and won by Civil War heroine Harriet Tubman. Those new $20 bills will go into circulation in a few years.

 

 

#BlackLivesMatter

I suppose I should tread rather carefully thru this minefield. Suffice to say that I believe it is pathetic that we are still dealing with racism in 21st Century America. However, I think it is worth debating what the bigger issue may be. Is it the fact that racism does undeniably exist?? Or is the idea that, despite tremendous strides in race relations that have seen minorities gain the legal equality that they were denied up until a few decades ago, a portion of the population…both black & white…persists in painting minorities as perpetual victims?? What I find especially disturbing is that this hornet’s nest really got stirred up AFTER the United States took a groundbreaking step by electing our first black President. Whether or not one agrees with President Obama politically the fact is that his election eight years ago was an historic moment that should have cemented the idea of racial equality & harmony, yet things have only gotten worse. I also think it is sad that the law enforcement community has been demonized in the process. I am sure that bad cops have always existed. They always will because there are evil forces in all walks of life. But the Black Lives Matter movement has been all too successful in painting the entire profession in a bad light. I am a proponent of the idea that all lives matter, but some even deem that idea racist. It’s a no-win situation for everybody.

 

 

Harambe

Back in May 2016 a three year old boy climbed into the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo. Patrons looked on in horror as a gorilla named Harambe grabbed the child and dragged him away. Some believe that the animal was trying to be protective of the boy, but obviously gorillas & humans tend to think differently about such things. Zoo employees saw no other solution than to shoot & kill Harambe. Video of the situation quickly went viral, and of course everybody just had to chime in with an opinion. While it is sad that the gorilla had to lose his life, the more important thing is that the young boy was unharmed.

 

 

No Nudity in Playboy

After a half century as America’s preeminent “gentlemen’s magazine” Playboy decided to no longer show full frontal nudity in its photographs in 2016. I am surprised they still publish magazines at all. Any magazine, let alone a nudie magazine. I haven’t picked up a Playboy in atleast 25 years. If a guy needs that kind of…entertainment…I think The Internet & video streaming is probably a more popular choice these days.

 

 

Gun Control

Another year, more mass shootings. Five police officers shot in Dallas in July. Six people killed in random shootings on a single February night in Kalamazoo, MI. 49 people killed & 53 others injured by a gunman at a nightclub in Orlando, FL in June. There are other examples I could cite. No one is arguing that these events aren’t tragic. Everyone would love for it to never happen again. The disagreement comes when discussing possible solutions. Gun control advocates would like to see guns banned and the Constitution’s 2nd Amendment altered or abolished. Many others understand that more laws and/or prohibiting responsible gun ownership will not solve the problem. It’s a debate that has been raging my entire adult life and probably won’t go away anytime soon. Sadly there will be more shootings. We have issues in our nation that run deep and cannot be solved easily. I don’t know the right answer.

 

 

Hamilton

I live in West Virginia. Culture here is severely lacking. I’d like to think that if I lived in New York City I’d enjoy the occasional theater production. In 2016 Hamilton was apparently THE hottest ticket on Broadway. If my information is correct it is a musical about the life of Alexander Hamilton, one of America’s Founding Fathers and the first Treasury Secretary who infamously died in a duel at the hands of our third Vice President Aaron Burr. Because we are absolutely obsessed with political correctness in 21st Century America the entire cast of Hamilton…who are portraying historically real people that were white…is black & Hispanic. I am sure this “inclusiveness” is a major reason that the show has received so much praise, although I suppose it is entirely possible that it is legitimately a well-written play with fantastic acting & singing. It received an added level of notoriety a couple of months ago when Vice President-elect Mike Pence attended a performance and one of the actors thought it was proper to address him from the stage, noting how “alarmed & anxious” he & his castmates are about the incoming Trump Administration. Newsflash: it was grossly inappropriate.

 

 

Scary Clowns

In the fall of 2016 various sightings of creepy clowns became a nationwide story. Some of these clowns just stood around looking scary. A few actually attacked people. I have no idea what the heck the deal is with all of it. Don’t we have enough problems to deal with??

 

 

Mannequin Challenge

This is one of the dumbest things I’ve seen in recent memory. It’s not even worthy of my time & energy. Atleast there was a point to the Ice Bucket Challenge.

 

 

Brangelina Break-Up

Angelina Jolie has never frosted my cupcake. She’s not been in a single movie that I enjoyed, and I don’t find her particularly attractive. Brad Pitt has actually been in a few films I like. The two infamously got together back in 2005 when he cheated on wife Jennifer Aniston with Jolie. I was a big fan of Friends. Aniston was one of my favorite celebrity crushes. This made me dislike Brangelina tremendously. In 2014, after eight years of living in sin and adopting a couple dozen babies from Third World countries, the couple finally got married. Then, just two years later, they announced their divorce. Somehow I have found the strength to go on.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

 

PokeMon Go. I still don’t really get it, but atleast it was harmless fun for a lot of people, and honestly, we could all probably use more harmless fun.pokemon-gs7edge-1

 

 

 

 

To present our next award please welcome the man who dealt a fatal blow to late night television with his 2015 retirement. He’s a living legend who hosted NBC’s Late Night and CBS’s Late Show for over three decades. We’re not sure what he’s been up to for the past year & a half but we are happy to have him at the Sammy Awards. Please give a well-earned ovation to David Letterman!! And the nominees are:

 

 

 

Favorite Television Event

 

The People vs. O.J. Simpson

I lived thru the infamous O.J. Simpson murder trial back in the mid-90’s. I’m actually very surprised that it took two decades for it to be made into a movie…or in this case a mini-series. I had really low expectations and assumed it would be…at best…kind of tacky. However, I was pleasantly surprised at the quality of acting & writing. In fact, the show received 22 Emmy nominations and won 9 trophies. Cuba Gooding Jr. hasn’t been this good since winning an Oscar for Jerry Maguire in 1996, and both Sterling K. Brown & Courtney B. Vance were tremendous. John Travolta…well hey, we’ll always have Grease & Saturday Night Fever, right??

 

 

11.22.63

I’m not really a big Stephen King aficionado, but about five years ago he wrote a novel about a guy who goes back in time to stop the Kennedy assassination. Time travel?? JFK’s assassination? Yes please. I gave the book a whirl and was so glad that I did. Just an awesome read. I knew that it’d eventually be put on film, but even I am aware that King’s works are notoriously difficult to translate into movies and the results have been mixed over the years. After a big screen adaptation was scrapped eventually the decision was made to make a miniseries for Hulu, which was a good call. More questionable was casting James Franco in the lead role. Is it a good show?? Yes. Could it have been better?? Yes. I’d recommend it, but I’d also suggest not skipping the novel.

 

 

Stranger Things

I include this only as a courtesy. I have not watched it yet, though I intend to. Friends have told me they think I’d enjoy it. Netflix has already greenlit a second season so I suppose I better catch up ASAP.

 

 

Fuller House

The original Full House was cheesy fun back in the 90’s. I wasn’t the target demo then, and I am certainly not the viewer this follow up is seeking, but I’m a little bit of a rebel like that. Season 1 premiered on Netflix back in February before I began my new job, and I binged it all in one day. Season 2 became available not long before Christmas and it took me a few days to finish. Fuller House isn’t going to win any awards and critics haven’t been kind, but Netflix has already ordered a third season so I guess enough people are watching. Nostalgia can carry something further than one would think, and older fans of the original show seemingly enjoy its “sequel”.

 

 

ABC Fun & Games

When I was a kid my Grandma Pigott loved game shows. She’d watch them all morning long, and then watch the ones that were on in the evening. Sadly game shows have become passé in the ensuing decades, with the exception of the continued success of Jeopardy! & Wheel of Fortune. Occasionally something will pop up for a brief moment in the spotlight, like Who Wants to Be a Millionaire hosted by Regis Philbin back about 15 years ago. In 2016 ABC decided to revive a few old favorites. Family Feud, hosted by our very own Sammy Awards emcee Steve Harvey, has been successful in syndication for about six years. A celebrity version aired this summer for six weeks in prime time. Also part of the fun was a reboot of Match Game, hosted by Alec Baldwin, who is detestable in real life but admittedly very funny when he’s acting. The weakest link in the chain is a revival of The 100,000 Pyramid, which was originally hosted by the late great Dick Clark back in the day and is now helmed by former football player Michael Strahan. All three of these shows are mindless, kitschy fun, and that’s okay with me. Small doses…a month or two once or twice a year…is probably a smart way to go with the idea.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

 

Fuller House. I said it wasn’t going to win any awards. I was wrong. Look, I realize that it’s not everyone’s cup o’ tea. Many people seek edgier or more intellectually fuller-house2stimulating entertainment, and that’s fine. Sometimes I crave something provocative or profound as well. But I think there’s room for a wide spectrum of choices on which to spend our down time. Fuller House probably won’t make it past 3 or 4 seasons, but for a brief period of time we can atleast appreciate it for the amusing trip down memory lane that it is meant to be.

 

 

 

To present our next award we are happy to welcome to the stage one of the preeminent actors of his generation. He has starred in modern classics like The Shawshank Redemption, Deep Impact, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight Rises, Ted 2, & Last Vegas. Please give some love to Morgan Freeman!!

 

 

caliendo2My apologies. Mr. Freeman is unable to appear on the show tonight. Instead our next award will be presented by comedian Frank Caliendo…doing an impression of Morgan Freeman. And the nominees are:

 

 

 

The DB Cooper Award (For the Person Who Most Needs to Disappear)

 

Senator Joe Manchin

He’s the former Governor and a current United States Senator from my home state, but I’m never quite sure where he stands. Some have opined that he is a rather conservative Democrat, but he sure has seemed to kiss President Obama’s…ring…a lot the past several years. Then, this past summer, Senator Manchin made comments in a conversation about gun control whining about the Fifth Amendment right to due process being an inconvenient impediment. I’m never a fan of politicians complaining about our Constitution. The fact is that America’s Founding Fathers had more common sense & foresight in their pinkies than our entire legislative branch collectively shows in 21st Century America.

 

 

Jon Gruden

Wow, is this guy a clown. I’m not sure why football fans or the powers-that-be at ESPN think he’s entertaining. He makes John Madden seem like Albert Einstein. Please…for the love of God…will some football team out there offer the dude a coaching job and get him off my TV??

 

 

Taylor Swift

She’s still around, though I think her star is fading. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.

 

 

Barack & Michelle Obama

Theoretically this will happen with the transfer of power to a new President in a few weeks. However, I have a bad feeling that, unlike other former Presidents who fade into the background and enjoy their retirement, ol’ Barack Hussein & his wife Aunt Esther aren’t really going away. The media loves them and will undoubtedly seek them out at every opportunity to comment on whatever is going on. I have predicted for several years that Obama would someday be the Secretary General of the United Nations, so look for movement on that front in the coming years.

 

 

“Caitlynn” Jenner

Let’s make one thing perfectly clear…Bruce Jenner is a man. Always has been, always will be. “Caitlynn” is a fictional character, not unlike Mrs. Doubtfire, Madea, or Big Momma. Unfortunately, instead of getting Mr. Jenner the help he so desperately needs to treat his mental illness the media & Hollywood has spent the past few years enabling his delusion.

 

 

Stephen Colbert

After a decade hosting a program on Comedy Central that I watched maybe 2 or 3 times Colbert was the inexplicable choice to replace David Letterman on CBS’s Late Show in 2015. I gave the man a chance…I really did. I still flip on over to that channel every once in a great while. But Colbert is just too damn political for a late night network television show. I suppose if you agree with his hateful leftist ideology you might find the guy funny. To each their own. I simply can’t stand the man or his little show, and I think CBS will tire of his shtick soon enough.

 

 

Bill & Hillary Clinton

They’ve written the blueprint for the Obamas. A decade & a half after Slick Willie left the White House these idiots are still around casting a dark shadow on America. Hillary even served in the U.S. Senate & as Secretary of State. Then, as we all know, she ran for President a couple of times, failing miserably on both attempts. Think about it…a majority of Americans outside the Lands of Liberal Make Believe in New York City, Hollywood, & Chicago chose Donald Trump over Hillary Clinton. That’s rejection with a capital R. I’d like to think the latest humiliating defeat would persuade these two to retire from public life permanently, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she runs again in four years.

 

 

Megyn Kelly

I’m so over her. One would assume certain things about Ms. Kelly since she works for Fox News, but appearances can be deceiving. I’m pretty tired of most of the media, but she especially has tended to make it all about herself this past year. I just want my newscasters to read the news. I don’t need their perspective. I don’t need their personality. I just want honesty & facts. I’d be willing to bet that she will eventually defect to CNN or MSNBC for big money, and that’s well within her rights. Go for it. Pad that bank account. Fancy yourself a star. And while Megyn Kelly is living that dream those of us who want to know what’s really going on in the world will know where to look, which won’t be wherever she is.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

 

All of Them!! That’s right…it’s a mass tie. Just shut your pieholes. Go away. Get out. Good riddance. Don’t let the door hit you where the Good Lord split you.loser

 

 

 

 

 

rice2Presenting our next award are two of the smartest people in the world…individuals who aren’t usually thought of as tysonentertaining but, like the rest of us, like to let their hair down & relax every once in awhile. She is a former National Security Advisor and served as Secretary of State from 2005-2009. Please welcome Condoleeza Rice!! He is an astrophysicist & author and is the current Director of the Hayden Planetarium in New York City. Give a round of applause to Neil deGrasse Tyson!! And the nominees are:

 

 

Most Entertaining Program (Radio or TV)

 

Mike & Mike in the Morning

Once again my morning routine changed a bit in 2016, so watching Greeny & Golic from 6-10am every weekday isn’t really a priority. I still catch the show occasionally and enjoy it almost as much as I ever did, but admittedly the shine has worn off just a little.

 

 

The Young & The Restless

I keep saying I am going to give up my soap operas, but for some reason I don’t follow thru. Even my Dad is hooked on Y&R, which is really amusing to me. The show went thru some behind-the-scenes changes in 2016, but the storylines remain strong & the characters are interesting for the most part.

 

 

MetroNews Hotline

From 3-6pm each weekday afternoon here in WV we have the opportunity to listen to a statewide radio talk show that covers everything from current events & sports to pop culture & the financial markets. It’s comfort food radio, which in my book is a great thing. The program’s original host stepped down a few months ago and I haven’t totally decided how I feel about the new guy, but if I happen to be in my truck when it is on I’ll usually listen. God knows it’s better than the garbage the music stations are playing.

 

 

Highly Questionable

ESPN finally settled on a time slot for this show in 2016, and if I’m home I’ll watch. If I’m not going to be home I’ll almost always DVR it. It’s irreverant, occasionally silly, sometimes informative, & always easily palatable. I’ve even become accustomed to co-host Bomani Jones, who I wasn’t quite sold on a year ago.

 

 

The Rush Limbaugh Show

El Rushbo is still going strong after nearly three decades on the radio. With 2016 being an election year Rush was in his element. I don’t listen often, but always enjoy it when I do. I understand that he doesn’t frost everyone’s cupcake, and that’s alright. I like the show and that’s what matters.

 

 

General Hospital

I’ve been watching GH since grade school. I always say I’m going to stop, but I don’t. There are certainly better things I could be spending time on, but I suppose there are worse things as well.

 

 

Designated Survivor

I never watched a single second of Kiefer Sutherland’s popular show 24, but as soon as I first saw teasers of this new program online several months ago I knew I had to check it out, and after the first episode I was hooked. I rarely even bother with new prime time shows, but this one is a winner. Thru the first half of the season they have constructed a web of suspense & intrigue that rivals any drama I’ve ever seen. It’s a well written show with great performances. I’m not sure if it’ll have legs for more than a couple of years, but I’d be happy to be wrong about that.

 

 

WWE Raw

Monday night is wrestling night. I don’t answer the phone. I don’t make other plans if possible. Maybe I’ll flip back & forth to the Monday night NFL game, but generally my eyes are glued to my wrasslin’ for a few hours. Or atleast that’s how it used to be. I have noticed in the past year I do a bit more channel surfing during Raw, or sometimes I’ll actually doze off. After the demise of WCW and with no viable competition remaining it seems like Vince McMahon has taken his foot off the gas just a bit. WWE has also made a concerted effort to become more family friendly in recent years, which is a blessing & a curse. Pro wrestling has always had its ebbs & tides, and right now seems to be a bit of a lull. Still though, there are weeks when it’s really fun to be a wrestling fan.

 

 

Jeopardy!

I love my game shows, and this is the best one around. It actually rewards people for being intelligent, and really, who could have an issue with that??

 

 

Pardon the Interruption

In contrast to its ESPN brethren Highly Questionable, PTI is proudly & audaciously cantankerous. Hosts Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon like to shout at each other for no apparent reason, but it kind of works. This is another show that I’ll usually record if I’m not going to be home. ESPN has perfected the argumentative sports talk show blueprint and probably ran it into the ground at this point, but after 15 years PTI is still at the top of the food chain with no signs of fading away anytime soon.

 

 

Days of Our Lives

Of the three soaps that I watch this is probably the weakest. There just seems to be something…subpar…about its production. Having said that, after over three decades of viewership the Horton, Brady, DiMera, & Kiriakis clans are fictional families that I have grown fond of, atleast as much as one can care about imaginary characters on TV.

 

 

This Is Us

2016 not only hooked me on one new show…it made me a fan of TWO. I decided to check out This Is Us because of actor Justin Hartley, who left his role on Y&R to star in the new NBC prime time drama. Hartley is a really good actor, and on This Is Us he is surrounded by a talented ensemble cast. The show has a really interesting hook, going back & forth between the current lives of three siblings and influential events in their childhood. Mandy Moore has always been a guilty pleasure (I love A Walk to Remember), and in this show she plays the same character in two eras separated by nearly forty years. The acting is stupendous and the writing is amazing. I expect this show to rack up the awards for however many years it lasts.

 

 

RedZone

There is nothing that I enjoy more than coming home from church on Sunday and settling in to watch seven straight hours of NFL football. No commercials, no timeouts, no halftimes…just football. Every meaningful moment of every game…atleast the ones played on Sunday afternoon. Someone needs to apply this same concept to college football on Saturdays.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

 

This Is Us & Designated Survivor. It’s a tie!! I wasn’t sure if the creative types in Hollywood were capable of creating new & interesting television shows anymore, dsurvthisisusbut they sure hit a two run homer with these. I can’t remember the last time I was actually excited about anything on TV outside of ball games. If you haven’t checked them out yet you’ve only missed one half of one season so it’d be really easy to catch up. Thank you to the creators of these two shows for making me believe in the power of originality again. Kudos.

 

 

 

 

Let’s pause one more time. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion!!

The 2016 Sammy Awards – Part 1

SammyAwardeagleAfter an unavoidable…interruption…a year ago we are back and thrilled to present the 2016 Sammy Awards, a Manoverse tradition since 2010. The Sammys are, in a nutshell, a fun & introspective year in review presented as the world’s best imaginary awards show. I like to think of The Sammys as an eclectic remix of real awards shows…classier than anything MTV offers, not as pretentious as The Oscars & Grammys, and more engaging than the plethora of offerings (The SAGs, The Tonys, The ESPYs, The People’s Choice Awards, etc.) that no one watches. The pace is brisk because a show longer than two hours drags and loses the interest of the viewer. There are no acceptance speeches because most of the categories have far too many nominees to have in the audience and many might not consider it an honor to be nominated anyway. I’d like to think that Netflix, Amazon, or Hulu would take a shot at streaming the show. Their people should call my people.

 

Let us begin by welcoming the host for our 2016 show. He’s an award winning comedian & talk show host, and since 2010 sharveyhas breathed new life into legendary game show Family Feud. Please welcome Steve Harvey!!

 

schillingFollowing a brief yet hilarious introduction to the show by our host it is time for the first award presentation. Please welcome a three time World Series winning pitcher, six time MLB All Star, former ESPN baseball analyst, & everyone’s favorite politically incorrect keyboard warrior…Curt Schilling!! And the nominees are:

 

 

 

Biggest Sports Story

 

Retirements Everywhere!!

One of the more poignant moments in sports is when a player, coach, or other associated personality decides to walk away after a long & memorable career, and in 2016 it seems like we said more than the usual fair share of goodbyes. I was never a big Kobe Bryant fan, but there is no denying that he had a significant impact on the modern NBA. After limping to the finish line the last couple of years on tired legs & surrounded by a very mediocre LA Lakers team, Kobe summoned some of his old magic one last time, scoring 60 points against the Utah Jazz in his final game. Peyton Manning rode into the sunset the way everyone would like to. After a legendary & record breaking 18 year career he led the Denver Broncos to a Super Bowl championship. Manning certainly wasn’t at his best in his final few seasons with the Broncos, but his place among the greatest quarterbacks of all time is secure. Vin Scully, Dick Enberg, & Verne Lundquist all plied their trade as announcers for many decades. Scully is best known as the voice of the LA Dodgers, but fortunately for us east coasters he also called many nationally televised games in both baseball & football. Enberg is best remembered as a play-by-play announcer for NBC, calling both NFL & MLB games. Lundquist isn’t completely retired, but will no longer be calling college football games. Thankfully we’ll still be able to hear him on golf broadcasts. Kevin Garnett & Tim Duncan both called it quits after the 2015-16 NBA season. Duncan won five championships in 19 seasons with the San Antonio Spurs. In 1995 Garnett became the first player in two decades drafted directly from high school to the NBA, a practice the league would outlaw in 2006. He played for three different teams and won one championship with the Boston Celtics in 2008. He had more individual than team success, winning a league MVP & being named to 15 All Star teams. David Ortiz is a mountain of a man that was the designated hitter & occasional first baseman for the Boston Red Sox for 13 years. He was a big part of the team that finally broke the infamous Curse of the Bambino and brought Boston their first World Series title in 86 years. Two more titles would follow. Big Papi had one of his best seasons in 2016, batting .315 and hitting 38 home runs. Unfortunately various leg & foot problems forced him into retirement. Though I haven’t watched NASCAR for a couple of years for reasons I’ll not rehash, Tony Stewart had become my favorite driver after the tragic demise of Dale Earnhardt. I always appreciated his forthright & decidedly un-PC manner. Smoke won three Cup titles & 49 races in over 600 starts in 18 years. I suppose he’ll still be around as a team owner, which is good for the sport.

 

Cleveland Wins NBA Title

I’m not the biggest NBA fan. I only pay attention when the playoffs roll around, have never had a favorite team, & haven’t cared all that much since Michael Jordan retired. However, the one thing that has drawn me in at all over the past several years is the closest thing we’ve had to Jordan…Lebron James. His departure from Cleveland to Miami and subsequent return has been well chronicled, and in 2016 all the hopes & dreams of every sports fan in Cleveland came to fruition as King James led his hometown Cavaliers to their first ever NBA title, the city’s first professional sports championship of any kind since 1964. It was an exciting rematch of the previous year’s championship series, with the Cavs coming back from a 3-1 series deficit to upend the defending champion Golden State Warriors in a thrilling Game 7.

 

Brady’s Court Battle

In 2016 golden boy QB Tom Brady finally lost his yearlong battle against DeflateGate and was forced to serve a four game suspension at the beginning of the NFL season. Of course he still may get the last laugh, as the New England Patriots finished with the best record in the league and enter the playoffs as a solid Super Bowl favorite.

 

Villanova Wins NCAA Title

The Villanova Wildcats won their first national championship since 1985, beating North Carolina on a buzzer beater in the title game. The Wildcats won 35 games and defeated four straight Top 10 opponents during March Madness.

 

Warriors Wins Record

The 2016 Golden State Warriors, led by point guard Stephen Curry & power forward Draymond Green, won 73 games during the regular season, breaking a record set by the Jordan/Pippen Bulls two decades earlier. They came into the season as the defending NBA champs and dominated the competition…until the finals, where they fell to Lebron James & his Cleveland Cavaliers.

 

Cubs Win World Series

The Chicago Cubs have been the loveable losers of baseball for as long as I can remember. As with the Red Sox, the Cubs had been battling their own “curse”, the Curse of the Billy Goat, on which multiple heartbreaking postseason failures had been blamed since their last World Series title in 1908. All of that changed in 2011, when Theo Epstein, the wunderkind general manager that had helped Boston turn things around a decade ago, took the same job in Chicago. In 2016 his rebuilding plan blossomed and the Cubs beat the Cleveland Indians in a really fun seven game World Series.

 

Johnny Football

The long sad odyssey of Johnny Manziel finally reached its inevitable conclusion in 2016 when the former Heisman Trophy winner but failed NFL quarterback was cut loose by the Cleveland Browns. Aside from the fact that Manziel is a marginal NFL talent at best, off the field issues with drugs, legal problems, & just a generally selfish, arrogant, poor attitude torpedoed any chance he had at success. When the Browns don’t even want you that’s a huge warning sign.

 

Penguins Win Stanley Cup

I pay even less attention to hockey than I do the NBA & NASCAR, but if my Pens are involved when the playoffs roll around I will generally check it out. 2016 brought Pittsburgh its fourth Stanley Cup since 1990. They defeated the San Jose Sharks in six games, with the awesome Sidney Crosby being named the series MVP.

 

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

 

 

The Chicago Cubs. It’s hard to beat a century old drought and an angst ridden fan base that has endured so many painful losses. I’m a Pirates fan, so I obviously cubscheer against the Cubs all season long, but I must admit this was a really cool story and I am glad for long suffering fans in The Windy City.

 

 

 

 

gavinTo present our next award, please welcome three all-time favorites who have one thing in common…they did guest spots on a certain television show backnicholson2 in the 60’s. First, he is best known as Captain Merrill Stubing on 80’s cheesefest The Love Boat. Please welcome Gavin MacLeod. Next, he has long been one of America’s crankiest yet most beloved comedians. He hung out with Sinatra back in the day, spent a good deal of time on Johnny Carson’s Tonight rickles2Show couch, and now he is here with us at The Sammy Awards. Please welcome Don Rickles. And finally, he is an Academy Award winning actor best known for creepy roles in The Shining, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Batman, & A Few Good Men. It is an honor to welcome Jack Nicholson.

 

This is a special award with only one nominee & winner.

 

 

The Fred Berry Memorial Award for Excellence in Syndication

 

The Andy Griffith Show

Even the best television shows are generally cancelled after 6-10 seasons, air in syndication for a few years, & then slip away into the ether, replaced in the hearts & tags2minds of viewers everywhere with the latest & greatest sitcom, soapy drama, or police procedural. Every once in awhile a program comes along that stays afloat in the sea of pop culture prominence for a bit longer, but eventually even those elite shows fade into just an occasionally recalled fond memory. The Andy Griffith Show is different. On any given day of the week I can do a little channel surfing and watch atleast a couple of TAGS episodes. Ponder that. This is a show that stopped airing original episodes nearly a half century ago, but its reruns are still broadcast in 2016 and beyond. Almost all of the cast has left this mortal coil, yet we still watch. I don’t think I’d be wrong in saying that TAGS has entertained multiple generations and continues to delight people of all ages even today. Local TV stations have no shortage of syndicated programs to choose from when they need to fill a time slot, but they know that TAGS has retained its popularity and will get good ratings. There are many reasons for this, most of which I have mentioned somewhere in this forum at one time or another. It is the distinct pleasure of The Manofesto to give The Andy Griffith Show one more well deserved victory lap, and hopefully we’ll all still be enjoying it for many years to come.

 

 

 

susannah-lewisTo present our next award we originally contacted singer & emancipated butterfly Mariah Carey, but she declined the invitation and has gone into hiding in an undisclosed location for some unknown reason. We next contacted MMA fighter Ronda Rousey, but when she was told that the presentation would likely take longer than 48 seconds she was forced to say no. Therefore, we turn to well-regarded and very funny blogger, author, & social media personality Susannah Lewis. And the nominees are:

 

 

 

 

Least Satisfying Movie

The Do-Over

So it has come to this for Adam Sandler. After being one of the biggest movie stars in the world in the 90’s with hits like The Wedding Singer, Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison, & The Waterboy, he has hit the skids in the past decade, with some of the worst films ever produced (Jack & Jill, That’s My Boy, something about a Zohan). Now his movies aren’t even in theaters…they are being directly streamed into our homes. I didn’t know this until after I saw The Do-Over, but awhile back Sandler signed a four movie contract with Netflix. The first one was released last December when I was in the hospital which explains why I hadn’t heard of it. As for this second project in the deal, it has Sandler & David Spade as two old high school pals who are unhappy with their lives so they fake their own deaths. It’s an interesting premise, and I’ve got to give all involved credit for one thing…they didn’t mail it in. The story has more twists & turns than an Appalachian highway, with an odd mix of comedy, action, intrigue, & pathos. It’s not boring…it’s just not very good.

 

Dirty Grandpa

Robert DeNiro needs to fire his agent, manager, & anyone else that assists him in choosing projects. Seeing him in excrement like this makes me sad. Even Zac Efron can do better and he’s a tool.

 

Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising

I had low expectations going in because the 2014 original wasn’t good, yet somehow this sequel is actually even more tasteless & unremarkable. I didn’t laugh once. Two hours of my life I can never get back.

 

The Bronze

Fans of The Big Bang Theory get quite a shock seeing their sweet little Bernadette in this flick. Melissa Rauch stars as a former Olympic medalist still living on her fading notoriety in the small Ohio town in which she grew up. The young “lady” is mean-spirited, foulmouthed, & treats her adoring mailman father like dirt. She doesn’t have a job and relies on her fans & friends to buy her things. Oh, and she also steals money from mail she rifles thru in her Dad’s truck. Are you laughing yet?? When Hope (that’s her name…seriously) gets an opportunity to coach an up & coming gymnast also from her hometown she at first attempts to sabotage the young girl, but eventually changes course and guides her to the gold medal. I’m sure there are people out there that find this movie hysterically funny, but I’m not sure I’d want to know those people.

 

Bad Santa 2

If you enjoyed the 2003 original I suppose you’ll like this follow-up, which has Billy Bob Thornton putting the ol’ red suit back on & reprising his role as a misanthropic, drunken, foul mouthed thief who likes to score big during the holiday season. He reunites with his diminutive partner in crime and they team up with Santa’s profane & terminally ill mother to rob a Chicago children’s charity. I’m no prude, but I do believe I have some class and this kind of humor just doesn’t frost my cupcake. I didn’t particularly care for the first film and had no expectations that the sequel would alter my perspective. I was right. If vulgarity & F-bombs tickle your funny bone then, by all means, enjoy…it’s a free country. I will continue to aim higher.

 

 

And the Sammy goes to…..

Dirty Grandpa. I don’t know why I continue to subject myself to DeNiro. The Godfather Part II is way way way in the rearview mirror. Even the Meet the Parents facepalmmovies seem like a lifetime ago. In the past decade this alleged cinematic icon has made a string of forgettable and/or outright atrocious films. This might be the absolute worst of the bunch, and could compete for one of the vilest pieces of garbage to ever be on the big screen. Just retire Mr. DeNiro. Leave the memories alone.

 

 

 

This feels like an appropriate place to pause. Please stay tuned for Part 2!!