William Gaddis

TOP 100 BOOKS OF ALL TIME (ALLEGEDLY, BUT PROBABLY NOT) – The Conclusion

If you’re late to the party…no worries. Just go here, here, and here to catch up, then rejoin us right here.

I’ve done the math. Of the hundred books on this list there are 38 that I have read or want to read eventually. There are 32 that I have absolutely no interest in whatsoever. And most interesting…atleast to me…is that there are 33 books, or about 1/3 of a list of ostensibly greatest of all time, that I’ve never heard of in my half century on the planet. Now, I’ve never claimed to be a top flight intellectual. I’m just a middle class dude in Appalachia with a college education that’s never done me much good, who has made more than enough poor choices and run into my fair share of misfortune. To paraphrase Marlon Brando, I could’ve been a contender…I could’ve been somebody. What might have been will haunt me til my dying day. However, having said all of that, I have a difficult time believing that a ranking like this has nearly three dozen books totally unknown to me.

76 The Hobbit / JRR Tolkien

The final installation of this exercise is off to a great start!! I freakin’ love The Hobbit. Pay no attention to the subpar movies and just read the damn book!!

77 The Man Without Qualities / Robert Musil

Two red flags…a “modernist” novel written in Germany (cause we all know how delightfully fun those wacky Germans are). Also, it spans multiple volumes and nearly 2000 pages. No way. Not happening.

78 Tristram Shandy / Laurence Sterne

It is a “autobiography ” of a completely fictional character set in 18th century France. That just doesn’t sound the least bit interesting to me.

79 JR / William Gaddis

Described as a satirical farce in which a Long Island 6th grader gets rich trading penny stocks thru the mail. It’s a huge 700+ page book, but I am intrigued.

80 As I Lay Dying / William Faulkner

More Faulkner. Described as “a grim yet darkly humorous pilgrimage” in which a dead woman’s family sets out to fulfill her dying wish to be buried in her hometown. I think I’ll give it a whirl.

81 Steppenwolf / Hermann Hesse

First things first…yes, the 70’s rock band known for hits like Magic Carpet Ride & Born to Be Wild DID take their name from the book, which is cool. In German a steppe wolf is another name for a grey wolf native to the Caspian Sea, the world’s largest inland body of water that borders both Russia & Iran. The novel is described as “one man’s spiritual journey towards self-knowledge”, with the framing device of a book within a book. It’s pretty short, and I am inclined to check it out.

82 Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Lewis Carroll

Did I read it as a child?? Probably. I feel like I have a basic knowledge of the plot. Should I read it again as an adult?? Would that be weird, given the fact that I don’t have kids of my own??

83 The Name of the Rose / Umberto Eco

An Italian murder mystery published in 1980 when I was 8 years old. I’ve never heard of it, and since it’s around 600 pages the likelihood of me caring enough to read it is doubtful.

84 Republic / Plato

I always get the Greek philosophers mixed up. The author of this book, Plato, learned from Socrates then went on to teach Aristotle. Philosophy. Ethics. Politics. All subjects that interest me in small doses, but if I haven’t read the whole book by now it is unlikely that I will.

85 The Confessions / St. Augustine

Saint Augustine of Hippo was a 4th century philosopher & theologian in Northern Africa. It is an autobiographical story about the author’s troubled youth & his spiritual growth. It’s one of those books that part of me feels like I should read, but I’m not sure if I can persuade myself to do so.

86 Wuthering Heights / Emily Brontë

Much like the Greek philosophers, I tend to get the Brontë sisters confused. Emily wrote this one, which is about love, class warfare, & revenge. I’m not sure it’s my cup o’ tea, but it is rather short so I’ll give it a go someday.

87 If On a Winter’s Night, A Traveler / Italo Calvino

Never heard of it. Weird title. It’s a book about a guy trying to read a book, which is very meta. Absolutely nothing about this revs my engine.

88 The Pale King / David Foster Wallace

Wallace’s story intrigues me, but I think I’ll tackle Infinite Jest and be happy with that. An unfinished novel by definition shouldn’t be put on a pedestal simply due to tragic circumstances. I mean, really…it’s not finished 👀.

89 The Tunnel / William H. Gass

I can tell that the readers responsible for these rankings are young since several books emanate from the 1980’s onward. That’s not a criticism, just an observation. The Tunnel was published in 1995, though I’d never heard of it until now. It sounds…complex, but not in a good way. I believe my time is better spent on other things.

90 A Hero of Our Time / Mikhail Lermontov

How many Russian novelists are there?!?!?!?? Atleast this dude isn’t as verbose as Tolstoy & Dostoevsky, but I’m still not interested.

91 The Aeneid / Virgil

It’s like the RC Cola of epic poems. Let me get thru The Iliad & The Odyssey (maybe) and perhaps I’ll give this one a whirl.

92 A Clockwork Orange / Anthony Burgess

The 1971 Kubrick movie is probably more well-known. I tend to go against the crowd though, so I am more likely to read the book.

93 Kafka on the Shore / Haruki Murakami

I’m a little surprised that Murakami’s more recent IQ84 didn’t make the cut, although it is a much lengthier work. Both books are high on my list, and I’ll get around to them eventually.

94 Nausea / Jean-Paul Sartre

What an odd title for a philosophy book. I am somewhat intrigued that it “comprises the thoughts and subjective experiences of a melancholy and socially isolated intellectual” who is experiencing “growing alienation and disillusionment”. I can’t lie…that speaks to me. I’m tempted to call it a maybe.

95 King Lear / William Shakespeare

I’d have thought that Shakespeare would earn more than two spots on this list. It is one of his best plays though. I studied it in college and have seen stage performances. Trust me though…it’s not for the faint of heart.

96 Beyond Good & Evil / Friedrich Nietzsche

Nietzsche has made his presence known in these rankings. It is short, and I wish I would’ve challenged myself to read it three decades ago because it’s just not something that piques my interest at this stage of my life.

97 The Elementary Particles / Michel Houellebecq

A French novel published in 1998. These are very Millenial-centric rankings. Given the title I assumed it had something to with science, but I’m wrong. Why are so many of the protagonists in these books depressed or otherwise mentally ill?? My life has enough melancholy without reading about sadness for fun.

98 Candide / Voltaire

Here we go again!! The protagonist experiences “slow and painful disillusionment” and “great hardships in the world”. Conversely, I just want to relax, have some lighthearted fun, and laugh a little. Is that too much to ask??

99 Jerusalem / Alan Moore

Don’t let the title fool you…it’s a 2016 novel set in England. How in the hell does a book published less than a decade ago rank as one of the best books of all time?!?!?? That’s dumb.

100 Harry Potter / JK Rowling

As mundane & erudite as these rankings have been I am shocked to see something as mainstream popular as Harry Potter make the list. It’s a pleasant surprise though because they are in fact great books. If you’re one of those people who has only watched the movies, a Christian who thinks Jesus will be mad at you for embracing sorcery, or someone who was older than a teenager when PotterMania was running wild so you think it’s adolescent balderdash, then I urge you to reconsider. It’s a big commitment…seven lengthy books…but worth every second of your time.

Top 100 Books of All Time (Allegedly, But Probably Not) – Part Deux

If you have not already perused Part 1 please do so. We’ll leave the light on for you.

An old friend of mine once observed that I “live in a library”, and he wasn’t wrong. My humble abode boasts about ten bookcases. Having said that, allow me to drop a truth bomb: I am a fraud…kind of. One of my favorite television shows is the 90’s sitcom Frasier, and I always admired Frasier & Niles Crane. Educated. Classy. Well-dressed. Cultured. However, the truth is that I am much closer in temperament to their father Martin…just a simple guy who prefers ball games, comfy t-shirts, and iced tea to opera, tailored suits, and fine wine. Looking at lists like the one we are perusing makes me realize that I am not particularly well-read, atleast by others’ lofty standards. I am much more inclined to enjoy a great sports biography or a cultural examination of food than most of the “great” books you’ll see mentioned here. So be it. I am at a point in my life when I am unlikely to change course, which is fine.

26 Catch-22 / Joseph Heller

A catch-22 is “is a paradoxical situation from which an individual cannot escape because of contradictory rules or limitations”, or “a problematic situation for which the only solution is denied by a circumstance inherent in the problem or by a rule”. Same thing. The term was actually coined by Heller for the book, but if you want to find out the details you’ll need to read it yourself. No spoilers here, except that the story is a satire set during WWII.

27 2666 / Roberto Bolaño

I had to look this one up, and it doesn’t sound like my cup o’ tea. If you’re more familiar with the book feel free to try & change my mind.

28 The Recognitions / William Gaddis

Another book that I’d never heard a peep about in all my years on the planet. It sounds like it’d be long & boring. No thanks.

29 The Book of the New Sun / Gene Wolfe

We’re establishing a theme…supposedly great books that I’ve never heard of in my life. I’m not saying that’s an accurate metric. The older I get the more I realize just how small & meaningless my life has been. However, this whole thing is about me & my taste in books. There’s a lot of other great sci-fi that I’d love to get to eventually, so I doubt this makes the cut.

30 The Sound & The Fury / William Faulkner

Faulkner wrote a few well-regarded novels, and I’d like to get around to them eventually.

31 V / Thomas Pynchon

My initial reaction is to recall a godawful TV miniseries from the 1980s in which a race of lizard-like aliens invade Earth & disguise themselves as humans. However, the V referenced here is the 1963 debut novel of Thomas Pynchon, who has gone on to write Gravity’s Rainbow, Inherent Vice, and a few others. I think I’d lean toward giving those other works a go, and if I really get into Pynchon perhaps I’ll circle back to his first novel.

32 Journey to the End of the Night / Louis-Ferdinand Céline

I’ve never heard of it, and after reading the description I’m not the least bit interested.

33 The Catcher in the Rye / JD Salinger

I’ve read it, but I think it was too late. If I’d read it as a 16 year old boy I may have found Holden Caulfield relatable, but as a grown man I view him as an annoying kid and perceive the book as overhyped.

34 A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man / James Joyce

Joyce has snagged another spot, but I’m not sure I am as intrigued by this book as I am the others. Maybe.

35 The Book of Disquiet / Fernando Pessoa

I read a description that called it a “masterpiece beyond comparison”, which sets the bar pretty high. I won’t dismiss it out of hand, but I’m not sure it is something I’d purposely seek out.

36 Faust / Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I find the idea of a Faustian pact, in which a person actually sells their soul to The Devil, fascinating in a disturbing kind of way. However, since I already understand the concept do I need to spend 500 pages reading about it?? Probably not.

37 The Metamorphosis / Frank Kafka

We’ve already mentioned Kafka, and this is generally considered his masterpiece. It’s actually a short story, so I’ll give it a whirl eventually.

38 Siddhartha / Hermann Hesse

I’ve seen this book mentioned in passing thru the years but had no idea what it was about. The title is a Sanskrit word that translates to “he who has found meaning”. I have nothing against deep & profound, but I’ve got to be in just the right mood. It’s a pretty short book, so perhaps I’ll grab a copy somewhere.

39 The Master & Margarita / Mikhail Bulgakov

I only heard of this book in the past year, and since I occasionally enjoy a tasty margarita the title stuck in my mind. However, I’m pretty sure there is no tequila or lime juice involved. My research indicates it is a dark satire about Satan visiting The Soviet Union, which sounds like it might be a fun read.

40 The Lord of the Rings / JRR Tolkien

You’ve probably heard of it. Full disclosure: I’ve tried a couple of times to get thru the entire trilogy & failed. I don’t think I even watched all of the critically acclaimed movies. I really love The Hobbit though.

41 The Picture of Dorian Gray / Oscar Wilde

The Faustian Pact is back, and I am intrigued. Oscar Wilde’s personal life may be more fascinating than his books though.

42 Mason & Dixon / Thomas Pynchon

Pynchon is an American and he’s still alive, so that kind of makes him an outlier amongst all the authors listed here. I guess you’d call the book historical fiction, which is kind of in my wheelhouse.

43 The Idiot / Fyodor Dostoevsky

Dostoevsky sure seems to get a lot of love from the folks on /lit/. Have a bunch of Russians infiltrated the site?? Who knows?? At any rate, my research indicates that the story deals with the protagonist’s “most intense personal ordeals, such as epilepsy & mock execution”, and “explores moral, spiritual, & philosophical themes.” Ol’ Fyodor must’ve been lots of fun at parties, huh?? 👀

44 A Confederacy of Dunces / John Kennedy Toole

What a great title!! Are we talking about stupid people during The Civil War?? Actually, no. The story is set in 1960’s New Orleans. It won the Pulitzer Prize a decade after the depressed author had committed suicide at the age of 31. He only wrote two books in his short life, with the other one (The Neon Bible) having been completed at the age of 16 but not published until two decades after his death.

45 Pale Fire / Vladimir Nabokov

Nabokov wrote this lesser known story a few years after the success of Lolita. It’s a short book, so perhaps I’ll give it a whirl someday.

46 Slaughterhouse Five / Kurt Vonnegut

I am ashamed to admit that I’ve not read it. I own it, but that’s a whole different thing. World War II seems to be a popular setting for these “great” books, which might be part of the problem. My father was really into war movies & documentaries when I was a kid, and as you might imagine I found the subject matter quite tedious. I am much more inclined to read things related to The Civil War or The Revolutionary War. I realize that doesn’t make much sense, but it is what it is.

47 Brave New World / Aldous Huxley

Much like 1984 I feel like this is a book worthy of being reread, because decades ago I had no idea how much “fiction” would seep into my reality.

48 No Longer Human / Osamu Dazai

I’ve never heard of it, but apparently it’s a Japanese novel that “presents recurring themes in the author’s life, including suicide, social alienation, and depression”. Okay, so here’s the thing…I prefer books much the same as I do movies: uplifting, fun, delightful. I stopped watching The Oscars many years ago because it seems like the only films that critics appreciate are real downers. Is it the same thing with books?? To be considered “great” does a book need to be bleak & somber?? That’s just not how I roll.

49 Paradise Lost / John Milton

I don’t know…can’t I just read my Bible?? Y’all know how I feel about epic poems at this point. I am absolutely sure we studied it in school, or atleast parts of it. That may have to suffice.

50 Les Miserables / Victor Hugo

Titling your novel The Miserables is terribly poor marketing. While I have an affinity for historical fiction as it relates to American history I am much less interested in French history, unless it traces the origins of fries, kissing, or toast. The story has been adapted multiple times into movies & stage plays, but I don’t have any interest in those either.

We’re halfway there!! Stay tuned!!