The Tonight Show

100 Memorable TV Theme Songs – Part 8

Here’s a truth bomb: I don’t actually watch much television anymore. Specifically, I don’t watch hardly any traditional sitcoms or dramas. Don’t misunderstand…my TV is on alot, but either a) it’s background noise and I’m not really paying attention, or b) I am tuned in to very specific programming. I DVR “my stories” (thanks to my grandmothers & a childhood babysitter). I love my wrasslin’. On autumn weekends I am happy to vegg out watching hours upon hours of football. Occasionally I might check out the local news. And that’s pretty much it. Once upon a time I used to scope out the Fall Preview edition of TV Guide and decide what new shows I wanted to give a whirl, but that was a LONG time ago. Is TV Guide even a thing anymore?? I sincerely have no idea. The last network television program I remember being excited about was Designated Survivor almost a decade ago, and it faded into the abyss rather quickly. Am I missing out on some good stuff?? Probably. Do I care?? No. Thanks to streaming, if I REALLY get in the mood to watch a conventional TV program I can just rewatch an old favorite. Which reminds me of the task at hand. If you need to catch up please check out the following:

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

Part 4  Part 5  Part 6

Part 7

30 Peter Gunn (Peter Gunn)

Peter Gunn was a detective series that aired in the late 1950s. It is unlikely that I would’ve been interested in it even if I had been born, which I wasn’t yet. However, the iconic theme song, composed by the legendary Henry Mancini, was also used two decades later on the big screen for The Blues Brothers.

29 Mister Ed (Mister Ed)

A horse is a horse, of course, of course

And no one can talk to a horse of course

That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed

Just imagine that pitch meeting, in which someone floats the idea of a sitcom starring a talking horse. Whatever the approach may have been obviously worked. The theme was written by the same songwriting duo who won an Academy Award for the Doris Day tune Que Sera Sera (from the 1956 Alfred Hitchcock/Jimmy Stewart film The Man Who Knew Too Much) and also wrote the Christmas classic Silver Bells. It is interesting to note that the actor who voiced Mr. Ed…Allan Lane…portrayed cowboy Red Ryder on the big screen in the 1940s. Red Ryder, as we’re reminded each December, is admired by a certain enthusiastic young boy in northern Indiana who desperately wants a replica of the crime fighter’s gun.

28 Mickey Mouse March (Mickey Mouse Club)

Come along 

Sing the song 

And join the jamboree

M-I-C-K-E-Y  M-O-U-S-E

Mickey Mouse has been the beloved mascot of Disney for nearly a century. The character has starred in movies, comic strips, and TV shows, most notably The Mickey Mouse Club in the 1950s, which also introduced the world to Annette Funicello. It’s been revived a few times, including the early 90s with a cast that included Justin TImberlake, Britney Spears, Ryan Gosling, Keri Russell, and Christina Aguilera. 

27 William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger)

The Lone Ranger has been around since the 1930s. He was introduced on a radio program, and has since spawned books, TV shows, comics, and movies. Italian composer Gioachino Rossini wrote the William Tell Overture in 1829, Tell being a legendary 14th century Swiss folk hero. It’s a beautiful piece of music that’s actually about 11 minutes long, but most of us are only familiar with the finale section associated with The Old West’s masked vigilante lawman.

26 Dallas (Dallas)

Every Friday night at 9pm for over a decade my whole family would gather in front of our television to watch the wheelin’ & dealin’ and tribal conflict of the uber wealthy Ewing Family, especially the battles between sibling oilmen JR & Bobby. Because the show ran for 14 seasons the instrumental theme music was tweaked a few times, with the disco vibe of the early years giving way to a slightly New Wave interpretation. Having said that, unless one sat down & listened to each season’s opening individually, most probably wouldn’t notice a huge difference.

25 Angela (Taxi)

On the opposite end of the spectrum from Dallas’ majestic orchestral theme that evolved over a decade & a half, we have a simple, laid back, almost melancholy jazz tune from a sitcom that aired for a criminally short five seasons. The song wasn’t originally intended to be used as the show’s theme, as it was written for an early episode featuring a character named…you guessed it…Angela. However, the powers-that-be pivoted, making that cab ride across the Queensboro Bridge a journey that lives on in the collective memory of an entire generation. The song’s composer, Bob James, is allegedly the second most sampled artist in hip-hop history, after James Brown. I cannot opine on the veracity of that claim.

24 With a Little Help from My Friends (The Wonder Years)

What would you think if I sang out of tune?

Would you stand up and walk out on me?

Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song

And I’ll try not to sing out of key

My friend Greg once advanced the notion that “time travel is always cool”, a statement with which I generally agree. The Wonder Years didn’t necessarily address time travel, but the framing device was that of a middle aged narrator in the 1980s reflecting on his teen years in the 1960s. Perhaps, in this case, it’d be more accurate to say that nostalgia is cool, which is also mostly true. Actually, the television show was partly inspired by the 1983 film A Christmas Story, which is now a beloved holiday classic, but The Wonder Years had come & gone long before the 24 hour Christmas Eve marathon became an annual tradition. Kudos to the series’ creators for recognizing genius way before anyone else. Anyway, the theme song was originally a Beatles’ tune from the 1967 album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. Joe Cocker released his cover a year later, and it became a #1 hit. 

23 The Streetbeater (Sanford & Son)

Harmonica isn’t an instrument we hear very often, and rarely is it the centerpiece of a song. That’s what sets The Streetbeater apart. Motown icon Quincy Jones apparently composed it in less than a half hour then recorded it just as quickly. That’s quite impressive for a tune that is still instantly recognizable nearly a half century later.

22 Tossed Salads & Scrambled Eggs (Frasier)

Hey baby, I hear the blues a-callin’

Tossed salads and scrambled eggs

And maybe I seem a bit confused

Yeah maybe, but I got you pegged!

But I don’t know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs

I LOVED Frasier. If you catch me in the right mood I might be bold enough to assert that Frasier is a better sitcom than Cheers, which I am fully aware is sacrilege to many people. I think it has something to do with my age and the fact that Cheers began when I was nine years old, airing until I was in college, while Frasier debuted when I was in college and was a source of comfort during my complicated 20s. At any rate, the mandate from producers to songwriters tasked with crafting the theme was that there be no direct mentions of psychiatry or a radio program. I think we can all agree that what they came up with is quite creative & snappy. It is also unique that the theme song was not played during the brief opening sequence, but was part of the closing credits.

21 Johnny’s Theme (The Tonight Show)

Late night television has been part of a national conversation lately, and I haven’t been shy about expressing my opinions on the subject for several years. Suffice to say, no one did it better than Johnny Carson. My father loved Carson’s Tonight Show, and I grew up watching it whenever I didn’t have school the next day and could stay up late. Johnny’s Theme originated as a song called Toot Sweet, written by Paul Anka for teen pop star Annette Funicello in 1959. Anka then released his own cover, retitled It’s Only Love. Carson asked Anka to compose an instrumental version, which opened each Tonight Show for three decades.

Stay tuned for Part 9…coming soon!!

The Last Gasp of Late Night Television 

There are differing schools of thought concerning the cancellation of The Late Show w/ Stephen Colbert. 

Some conspiracy theorists lay the blame at the feet of President Trump, because of course they do. They point out that CBS recently settled a lawsuit with Trump, and an undisclosed part of the deal may involve canning Colbert, who has always been a vocal critic of our President. I concede that it’s a theory that contains a strain of logic and is entertaining in the surreptitious sort of way that such stories tend to be. 

Another idea involves the television viewing habits of the audience, especially younger demographics, which are constantly evolving in the Digital Age. It paints late night television as archaic and predicts that the demise of the Late Show is a death knell for the entire concept. Will Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers, or Jimmy Fallon be next on the chopping block?? 

The most prosaic rationale for the decision is financial, which is what CBS & Paramount stated. 

My vibe is that all of the above can be atleast partially true. I used to be a big fan of late night TV…Johnny Carson, David Letterman, Jay Leno, Tom Snyder, Craig Ferguson. However, it’s no secret that my viewing habits have changed in the past several years for multiple reasons. 

Have these shows become too political?? Absolutely. If you happen to agree with their…perspective…that’s fine, and you are probably entertained, but that freezes out the other half of the country who see things differently, which isn’t a wise business strategy. Do I really think Donald Trump got The Late Show cancelled?? No, but I believe that there is a certain level of TDS fatigue. People used to watch late night shows to escape the tedium of “real life”. Now?? These guys won’t let us escape. Love Trump?? Fine. Hate Trump?? Okay. Either way, can’t we talk about something else for an hour?? 

Is the end of late night television altogether on the horizon?? I’d hate to see that happen, but say that thru the prism of nostalgia. These legendary programs, and more importantly their hosts, have been a cornerstone of the entertainment landscape almost since television began. Carson was the undisputed King of Late Night, and I grew up watching Letterman. While those two stand head & shoulders above the rest, others have done the job well. I understand that many found Leno somewhat pedestrian, but his style made the Tonight Show transition smooth. Fallon was fantastic when he took over Late Night from Conan O’Brien, but he’s a sycophant who has followed his buddies Kimmel, Myers, & Colbert down the wrong path in recent years. I really enjoyed Snyder & Ferguson, who both marched to the beat of their own drum, with the audience reaping the benefits. 

Having said all of that, it is undeniable that, like so many others things in the world, entertainment evolves. When I was a kid we only had a smattering of television channels, whereas now there are hundreds. Johnny Carson ruled late night before The Internet existed. Celebrities making the rounds on late night TV to promote their latest movie/book/album/show seems rather quaint when there are myriad ways for them to achieve the same goal, most notably thru direct interaction with fans on social media. The perceived importance of late night television has been greatly diminished, while the influence & talent level of the people fronting those programs has declined precipitously.

I am at an age where I have had to say farewell to many things that we thought would always be around, but then again “nothing lasts forever”. It is one of those trite maxims that is nevertheless true. If you still enjoy what television networks offer after your local news each weeknight, that’s cool, but count yourselves amongst a dying breed. 

When David Letterman retired a decade ago I stated that I’d probably “begin my own transformation into a cantankerous old geezer and be in bed way before 11:30pm more & more often”, and I now laugh at the accuracy. MY GOD…the accuracy!! Just last week I was tired after a particularly arduous day and went to sleep at 9:30pm. I have embraced my hermit lifestyle and put a premium on peace, tranquility, and mirth. Late night television hasn’t provided those things for awhile now. So go ahead…cancel Kimmel. Finish Fallon. Mothball Meyers. They’ve not adequately filled the shoes they were hired to anyway.

Superfluous 7 Favorite Late Night Television Hosts

It feels appropriate to piggyback on recent themes and complete somewhat of a trilogy. First I rated my all-time favorite stand-up comedians. Then, upon the retirement of the venerable David Letterman I bid a melancholy happy trails to my childhood of the 1980’s. And now I shall close the circle by pontificating about late night talk show hosts.

I’ve always been a night owl, even as a child. My mother knew that one of the best ways to punish me when I’d been mischievous was to send me to bed super early. I had a set bedtime on weeknights anyway, but making me go to bed an hour or two early was akin to what a modern youngster might feel like if they had their iPod taken away or their game console privileges restricted. It was as if I was afraid I was going to miss something. I don’t know why some folks are nocturnal while others are early risers. I am sure there is some sort of scientific explanation, but long ago I just decided to go with the flow and embrace who I am. I feel energetic & creative when most of the world is fast asleep. The vast majority of the things citizens of The Manoverse read here are produced after midnight. When combined with my affection for laughter and predilection for comedy over drama the affinity for late night talk shows makes much sense. So I thought it might be fun to discuss the hosts of these shows. The guys whose names are on the marquee. The engine that makes each program go and largely determines its success. I have my preferences, and if you like late night TV as much as me I am sure you have yours. Maybe we agree…maybe we don’t. But with all the darkness & misery in the world it is atleast a casual & pleasurable topic to ponder. Therefore, may I present…..

 

 

 

from the home office in Ha Ha Bay, Newfoundland, Canada…..

 

 

 

The Superfluous 7 Favorite Late Night Television Hosts:

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7 Craig Ferguson
I will always regret that I was late to the Ferguson party. I was somewhat familiar with him cffrom The Drew Carey Show in which he played Carey’s boss Mr. Wick from 1996-2004. When he took over CBS’ Late Late Show in 2005 my 12:30am allegiance had long been with Conan O’Brien’s Late Night program on NBC and my memories of Mr. Wick & The Drew Carey Show were hardly fond enough for me to switch things up. I’m either loyal or stubborn & inflexible…you decide. At any rate, it wasn’t until I quickly became bored with Seth Meyers’ incarnation of NBC’s Late Night franchise in the winter of 2014 that I decided to give Ferguson a whirl. Sadly, just a few weeks later, he announced that he’d be leaving the show by the end of that year. Though I only had about 9 months with Ferguson I thoroughly enjoyed that time. It is likely that had I began watching him a few years earlier or he’d not abdicated his throne as the clown prince of late night TV that he’d rate much higher on this list. To call Ferguson irreverent would be inaccurate, because I always felt that he had a deep respect for his job, his guests, & the audience. However, like a quarterback who uses his playbook only as a general outline but mostly improvises, Craig Ferguson kind of made up his own rules. His monologue was always an extemporaneous stream of consciousness. Usually fun, sometimes serious, always sincere. His sidekick was an animatronic robot skeleton named Geoff Peterson (voiced by gifted impressionist Josh Thompson). He ripped up whatever kind of notes he had about his guests and ad-libbed interviews, making them more like a genuine conversation between two real people. There was no house band. It is almost impossible for me to accurately describe Ferguson’s show. Like other gentlemen we’ll be discussing one watched Ferguson’s program for the talent & charm of the host…the guests were almost unnecessary. Supposedly Ferguson had decided to leave the show before news of Letterman’s retirement was announced. Maybe that is true. Maybe he is the restless type, a vagabond who doesn’t like to stay in one place too long and yearns for new challenges & adventures. However, I think it is very possible that he felt disrespected when the idea of him moving to 11:30pm was almost immediately dismissed. Whatever the truth may be, the fact is that the late night landscape is less interesting without Craig Ferguson, and I hope that maybe one day he might get the itch…and the opportunity…for a welcome comeback.

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6 The Jimmys – Fallon & Kimmel
Guess what folks…you better either love these guys or learn to like them as much as possible because they are likely to be the foundation of late night television for possibly the next 20-30 years.

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I first became familiar with Kimmel in the late 1990’s when he hosted both Win Ben Stein’s jkMoney and The Man Show on Comedy Central. He’s a natural for late night TV. One can tell that he grew up a fan of Letterman and emulates him in a kinder, gentler way. Unfortunately ABC painted his show into a corner from the very beginning, airing it at midnight for its first decade of existence due to misguided & outdated loyalty to Nightline. ABC corrected their error a few years ago, but it’s put Kimmel behind the proverbial eight ball, as if he’s ten years behind and perpetually trying to catch up. Jimmy Kimmel Live!, despite its name, doesn’t air live anymore but that’s no big deal since neither does anything else. In the early days Kimmel used to have a bar in the studio and various celebrities would be his “guest co-host”. I recall Snoop Dogg getting plastered on live television one night, which was hysterical. Mostly the show follows the standard late night outline, although certain elements are individually underwhelming. Cleto, the bandleader, and Guillermo, the sidekick, are both forgettable. Jimmy’s Uncle Frank was the show’s security guard & sidekick until his death a few years ago and he is missed. Kimmel is sardonically affable, and that what has kept the show afloat. There still seems to be something missing, but it’s a solid alternative that may yet gain momentum and become the go to show in late night.

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Fallon, obviously, gained fame from his stint on SNL and starred in a few movies. He took jfover NBC’s Late Night franchise for about 5 years and it was awesome. The host himself is genial & engaging, and at 12:30am his comedic sensibilities were spot on. Sidekick Steve Higgins is sneaky talented…a more versatile Ed McMahon. I’ve never been a huge fan of house band The Roots, atleast partially because I don’t understand why they are introduced as “legendary” when I’d never heard of them previous to Late Night, but they are talented and good at what they do. I love Fallon’s Friday night staple “Thank You Notes”, and at 12:30 audience participation games like “Models & Buckets” & “Dance Your Hat & Gloves Off” were goofy fun. He has his finger on the pulse of pop culture and effectively utilizes social media, which is a double edge sword. Millenials and people like myself who atleast try to keep up with the times enjoy the humor, but older folks my father’s age don’t connect with it at all. I was excited when Fallon took over the Tonight Show more than a year ago, but my delight quickly soured. At 11:30 Jimmy comes across as annoyingly enthusiastic and somewhat narcissistic. While many games & comedy bits on Late Night were silly, harmless entertainment, on the Tonight Show they often seem juvenile, forced, & not all that funny. I can’t imagine that celebrities who are there to promote a movie, book, album, or TV show really want to participate in such childish activities. Having said all that, just like his counterpart this Jimmy has time to modulate and find a more stable formula, although I may be the only one pining for such an adjustment since the show’s ratings and Fallon’s popularity are thru the roof and probably will continue to grow with less competition for the next few months.

 

 

5 Bob Costas
Yes, that Bob Costas…the one who has been a foundation of sports broadcasting for three bcdecades. From 1988-94 he hosted a show that aired for 30 minutes at 1:30am on NBC and that I ranked 18th amongst my 50 Favorite TV Shows of all time. There was no monologue. No jokes. No sidekick. No comedy bits. No house band. It was just Costas doing a cozy one-on-one interview with a single guest…and it rocked. The host himself was always engaging, articulate, & attentive, and if the guest was interesting that was icing on the cake. The show was occasionally mesmerizing and almost always compelling. Studies have shown that night owls are intelligent & creative, so, while on the surface it may seem like any show is doomed to fail at 1:30 in the morning, the truth is that this kind of program, when packaged correctly, is a fantastic solution. It’s a unique departure from the typical late night menu and a format whose return is much needed. There are only so many jokes to go around and a plethora of options to be entertained in that manner. We have comedy shows. We have “infotainment” like Entertainment Tonight and Extra. We have cooking & lifestyle shows. ESPN has a full lineup sports talk shows. We have mind numbing stupidity like Maury Povich, The View, & whatever poor NFL Hall-of-Famer Michael Strahan is forced to endure with the tiresome Kelly Ripa every morning. I wouldn’t mind a bit if someone would revive this show so I could once again look forward to something cool every night.

 

 

4 Jay Leno
The whole Leno thing is sort of complex. Things got off to a bad start for him when Johnny jlCarson retired in 1992 and NBC couldn’t decide who should get the Tonight Show gig. Leno ultimately got the job, but lost supporters along the way. It didn’t help when a book called The Late Shift was published in 1994 and exposed just how insecure & desperate he had been about keeping the job. And then after nearly two decades of solidly entertaining the masses Jay was dumped after a 5 year transition plan that the knuckleheads at NBC had to have been drunk to even fathom might work. Why would you replace a guy that had been winning the ratings?? To keep Conan O’Brien?? Really?? Anyway, once again Leno came out looking bad after eventually “taking back” the Tonight Show instead of doing what he should’ve done…tell NBC to shove it and walk away, likely right into a new show on Fox or in syndication. On top of these controversies Jay Leno was often criticized as being lame & old-fashioned. That criticism isn’t necessarily invalid, but I think it’s a bit harsh. He certainly never pushed the envelope and rarely did anything wacky. I think in his mind the Tonight Show had been successful for many years and he wasn’t going to even try to re-invent the wheel. He believed that the formula that had worked in the 70’s & 80’s would still work. Did it?? The ratings seemed to indicate that it did, but you’d probably have no problem finding folks who will claim fervently that Leno sucked. His monologue was topical and often political, although I thought he was usually even-handed, especially in comparison to his competition. He had been a successful stand-up comic so obviously it was a strength. I thoroughly enjoyed “Headlines” on Monday nights, but there are those who will cite the bit as a prime example of Leno being old & out-of-touch since newspapers had become archaic, while the aforementioned Fallon was making copious use of Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, etc. Over the years he made hay with big news stories like the OJ Simpson trial & the Hugh Grant hookerpalooza. His interviews were solid. I understand why NBC chose Jay Leno in 1992. He was a fun, comfortable, approachable, safe presence at 11:30pm…just like his predecessor. Society may have developed a thirst for edgier, more rebellious entertainment, but there is still a place for laid-back, pleasant, old school amusement. Leno gave us that. People may not really miss him all that much, but we’re fortunate that he filled a void as well as he did for as long as he did.

 

 

3 Tom Snyder
God I miss Tom Snyder. He was The Man!! I was too young to have caught him on Tomorrow, a show that aired on NBC at 1am on weeknights TS2throughout the 1970’s. Apparently he also had a program on CNBC in the early 90’s, but I believe I was still a drunken frat boy at the time. At any rate, I became familiar with Snyder when he hosted the inaugural incarnation of the Late Late Show at 12:30am on CBS in the mid-90’s. It still ticks me off that some genius at CBS thought it was a good idea to replace Snyder with former ESPN snarkmaster Craig Kilborn in 1999. What drive-thru is Kilborn manning these days?? Is he still alive?? Does anyone care?? Snyder’s Late Late Show was a one-on-one conversation much like Costas’ Later, but the hosts couldn’t be more different. When I did my 50 Favorite TV Shows a few years back, I ranked Later 18th and Snyder’s Late Late Show 25th. In retrospect I believe I might reverse that simply because Tom Snyder was such a matchless presence on the TV screen. He had a deep, resonant voice and a smoky, infectious laugh. He had the gravitas that comes with decades spent as a radio & television reporter, but didn’t seem to take himself too seriously. He could conduct a thoughtful interview or relax & have fun…sometimes both within the same hour. Snyder was the kind of guy that one suspects drank & smoked a bit too much in his down time, but he came from an era when that was acceptable, even cool…not the politically correct, health conscious, information obsessed, afraid of everything 21st century. Snyder had no sidekick or house band. He’d just banter with unseen beings, presumably producers & directors of the program. He’d slyly encourage the audience to enjoy a beverage while watching/listening, calling the theoretical drink a colortini or simultini (because the show was simulcast on radio & TV). And he would tell stories. Tom Snyder had been around. He knew people. He’d done things & went places. I could have listened to him laugh & tell stories for hours. The dude could have done a boxed set of CDs filled with him simply talking, chuckling, & telling stories and 15 years after he left the air I’d still be listening to them. Thank goodness for YouTube.

 

 

2 David Letterman
I don’t know what else I can say about Letterman that I haven’t already said. His tenure in late dlnight television can be neatly divided into two periods…the decade he spent at the helm of NBC’s Late Night and the two decades+ that he hosted CBS’s Late Show. The NBC years were fresh, innovative, & funny. The CBS years can be further divided, with the first half being a slightly more mature yet just as amusing version of what Letterman had accomplished at NBC, and the latter half being somewhat stale comfort food tinged with cynicism and bereft of the originality that had made the host a star. Early Letterman was groundbreaking, must-see TV (if I may borrow a phrase), and old Letterman, even though he was resting on his laurels & coasting to the finish line on fumes, was still better than most of his peers. Hindsight is 20/20, and looking back I think that NBC probably made a mistake all those years ago. Dave probably should have gotten the Tonight Show, and Leno could have been rewarded with the 12:30 show. How would late night have looked if that’d happened?? The obvious casualty would have been Conan O’Brien, who’d probably still be a comedy writer for various TV shows. I would have been okay with that…no great loss. CBS & ABC would probably still have ended up getting into the late night game eventually, and guys like Fallon & Kimmel probably would have ended up with hosting gigs somewhere. But the 1-2 punch of Letterman & Leno on NBC could have been a juggernaut thru the 90’s and into the 21st century. Ahhh what might have been.

 

 

1 Johnny Carson
The undisputed King of Late Night. Unmatched. Unchallenged. Oh there were people that jctried…Chevy Chase, Joan Rivers, Arsenio Hall, Pat Sajak. They all failed. Television was different during Carson’s reign. There were fewer channels. Nothing aired 24/7. Obviously we didn’t have The Internet. It is fair to say that Johnny had little legitimate competition and ponder whether he’d be as successful now. However, that’s probably an unfair question. Almost everything…music, television, clothing, technology…is a product of its time. Very few things are timeless. Letterman wouldn’t have clicked had he came onto the scene a decade earlier. Leno, accused of being obsolete & unfunny by some, might have been considered edgy & daring if he’d been center stage in the 80’s. Half of Fallon’s shtick revolves around ideas that weren’t even around in the 90’s. It’s all relative. Johnny Carson was the right man with the best job at the exact time in history that happened to be a perfect fit. He was 2/3 of the way thru his run on the Tonight Show by the time I became a fan. I never sensed the weariness in him that seemed to hinder Letterman’s stretch run, but then again I don’t recollect the early years that would enable a comparison. All I know is that throughout my childhood, through high school, & into college Johnny Carson was as much a part of Americana as fast cars, mac & cheese, rock n’ roll, and fireworks on the Fourth of July. Other late night hosts have come & gone. Several are still plugging away, doing their best to make us laugh every night after the local news. But Carson is the measuring stick, the gold standard. He always has been and likely always will be.

Superfluous 7 Favorite Stand-Up Comedians

My man Michael Wilbon recently posted a video commentary…for no apparent reason…on comedythe PTI Facebook page about his Top 10 stand-up comics. Because Wilbon, as erudite as he seems on TV, is subconsciously a militant black man and a throwback 60’s radical his list was, shall we say, just a little bit prejudiced. It wasn’t too terrible I suppose, but it had Wanda Sykes for God’s sake, a woman who is only mildly amusing at her best, while leaving off 2 or 3 certified comedy legends. My dismay with this absurd display of racially biased poppycock has inspired me to create my own ranking. I have made a concerted effort to eschew the kind of poor taste & obvious sociopolitical slant shown by Wilbon, but to be fair we are all a product of our background, bound to be influenced by the time & place in which we were raised and the things to which we were or were not exposed. I’m about 15 years younger than Wilbon, was raised in small town WV as opposed to Chicago, and watched way too much TV as a kid. I am a child of the 80’s (with fond memories of the late 70’s) and became an adult in the 90’s. I do think my rankings are better & more reasonable than the list that motivated this effort, but others may disagree. So be it.

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comedy2In pondering this idea I had a lot of names pop into my head. It became necessary to create parameters. The focus here is on stand-up comedy…just a guy (or lady) on stage with a microphone in front of a live audience. Many of the best comedians have gone on to star in TV series or become movie stars. That’s fine, but that’s not what this is about. Jimmy Fallon may have once done stand-up comedy, but in my mind he is an SNL alum who went on to do a few forgettable films and now hosts the Tonight Show. Same deal with David Letterman. To me he is a talk show host that has been a centerpiece of late night television for ¾ of my life. At any rate, even with those self-imposed boundaries the list was overflowing, so we will begin with some Honorable Mentions that didn’t quite make the cut for one reason or another.

 

Honorable Mention

Tim Allen
His stand-up routines landed him a successful sitcom which he parlayed into a mediocre film career, so I think of him primarily as a comedic actor.

Billy Crystal
I LOVE Crystal, but to me he is an actor & awards show host.

Bob Newhart
His standup career was before my time. I remember him as the star of two of TV’s more underappreciated sitcoms.

Don Rickles
He’s funny, but his career trajectory plateaued before I was born.

Johnny Carson & Jay Leno
I know them primarily as two long time hosts of the Tonight Show.

Bob Hope
An undisputed legend, but one whose career peaked long before I was born and who I fondly recall as hosting the occasional variety show special on TV.

Steve Martin
I realize he was a revolutionary stand-up comic in the 70’s, but I know him mainly as a film actor and for his numerous appearances on SNL.

Garry Shandling
Funny, but not quite elite. I recall him as a frequent guest host on the Tonight Show and remember his first sitcom on Showtime in the late 80’s.

Buddy Hackett
He was before my time. I remember him mostly for his guest appearances on Carson’s Tonight Show in the 1980’s.

Sam Kinison
Sadly Kinison was gone far too soon, killed by a teenage drunk driver at the age of 38. Kinison was obnoxious, controversial, & often blasphemous, but he was funny. It would have been really interesting to see how he might have evolved. Would he have softened with age?? Would he have become a caricature of himself, still trying to be the loud, abrasive rebel even as an elder statesman of comedy?? Or would he have just flamed out & faded away once his shtick started to grow old?? We’ll never know, and that’s too bad.

Steven Wright
Wright’s deadpan delivery is unmistakable yet kind of defines him as a one trick pony. Amusing in small doses, but there is a reason he never became a huge star.

Ron White
I gave this spot to White over Jeff Foxworthy because I think he is funnier. His humor seems kind of restricted to a specific southern demographic, which is fine by me but limits his star power and accessibility to the masses.

Gallagher
You know & love him as the prop comedian who busts watermelons with a sledgehammer. It’s a gimmick that has narrowly defined his career for four decades.

Andrew Dice Clay
He’s funny & memorable enough to get a mention, but just too vulgar to be ranked amongst the best.

Andy Kaufman
It is difficult to describe exactly what Andy Kaufman did on stage. He was more of a performance artist than a traditional standup comedian. It seemed as if he was trying to entertain himself more than anyone else, and if that meant offending, annoying, & confusing the audience then that was just dandy. Kaufman is another artist that we lost far too early, as he succumbed to lung cancer at age 35. I remember him mostly as Latka Gravis on the sitcom Taxi, a role that he allegedly despised.

Redd Foxx
To me he is iconic junk king Fred G. Sanford from the 70’s sitcom Sanford & Son. However, before that role he had a long & successful career as a crude & profane stand-up comic. That was in the 50’s & 60’s though…way way way before my time, and in an era when profanity was actually shocking instead of the accepted norm.

 

Okay, so now that the honorable mentions are out of the way it’s time to move to the main attraction. To be honest I wish more of these guys worked “clean”, but it’s rare to find a comedian who does that nowadays. We live in an era in which F Bombs and sexual humor sells, so that’s what many do. It’s not my preference, but for the most part I think my choices would still be funny if they took the road less traveled instead of conforming to low worldly standards. At any rate, sit down, enjoy a cold beverage, and maybe chuckle, chortle, guffaw, & giggle as I present…..

 

 

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From the home office in Happy, TX…..

 

 

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My Superfluous 7 Favorite Stand-Up Comedians:

 

 

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7 Eddie Murphy / Richard Pryor
murphyY’all should know by now, there will be ties. These guys are legends, with Pryor being the trailblazer who heavily influenced Murphy. Pryor’s stand-up career was en fuego in the 1970’s when I was just a baby. By the time I got to the age where I was consciously making entertainment choices and discovering what I enjoy Pryor, like so many others, had segued into acting. It is really interesting that a vast majority of comedians cite Richard Pryor as a huge influence. He really did make it look easy. His comedy was edgy & vulgar, yet accessible to the masses. Perhaps one of the most regrettable byproducts of Pryor’s legacy is that so many comics believe that peppering their act with a plethora of F-Bombs & other profanities is hysterically funny. I suppose it was humorous in a shocking kind of way when he did it, but now it’s just derivative & tedious. Murphy’s career has been all over the place, with a prominent chunk of the early 80’s spent as a cast member on SNL followed by a three pryordecade movie career with some hits (48 Hrs., Trading Places, Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America) and a lot of misses (The Golden Child, Vampire in Brooklyn, Pluto Nash, Norbitt). In between those gigs, for a brief time in the mid-80’s, he was a comedy rock star that did a few really good HBO specials that became big sellers on home video. Unfortunately Eddie Murphy seemed to buy into the whole movie star fantasy and has become more aloof & pretentious over the years.

 

6 Chris Rock / Dennis Miller
rockI don’t often agree with Rock’s politics, but there is no denying that he is an intelligent, thoughtful guy whose observational comedy is a cut above. Much of his humor has racial overtones, but I’ve rarely found it racist. It is more like a brutally honest, undeniably subjective worldview to which I can’t relate. In contrast, Miller’s philosophies & attitudes are much more in line with my own. He also is a smart & solicitous dude whose comedy was tinged with insightful commentary about life even before he became a regular guest on political talk shows. Miller doesn’t dumb down his comedy for the masses. You either get the odd analogies & obscure references he makes or you don’t, and he’s not going to slow down and draw a picture for you. Both Rock & Miller had notable runs on Saturday Night Live. Rock has gone on to be a run-of-the-mill movie star in mostly pedestrian films, millerwhile Miller has dabbled in the whole talk show host thing (I really wanted him to be the guy to replace Letterman), did a season in the booth on Monday Night Football (not a good fit), & in recent years has become bogged down as a political pundit. I’d love to see him get back into doing stand-up.

 

5 Jim Gaffigan / Bill Cosby
gaffiganOkay…let’s first address the elephant in the room. I am not here to judge what Cosby may or may not have done in his personal life. That’s not my place, and I think the damage that has been done to his legacy speaks for itself. Both of these men do basically work “clean”, which is good. The foundation of their humor is family, marriage, children, & relationships. They tell stories that many folks recognize from their own lives. It’s easygoing & affable. Their comedy isn’t meanspirited, edgy, or brash. Cosby, of course is…or was…a living legend that has done movies & TV shows and has generally been a part of the entertainment landscape for a half century. Gaffigan has been around for about a cosbydecade. He’s a soft-spoken, self-deprecating guy who likes to joke about being fat & lazy, comedy to which I can relate. Young comedians need to study these guys and understand that intelligent, relevant, witty comedy doesn’t need to be vulgar, obnoxious, or malevolent.

 

4 Frank Caliendo / Denis Leary
caliendoBy far my favorite kind of comedian is one who can do spot-on impressions. If I could ask God for any fun & frivolous talent I’d probably choose being able to do impressions over singing, dancing, or playing an instrument. Older generations might prefer Rich Little, but to be honest I was never that enamored with Little. Caliendo hasn’t become the sort of superstar that landed his own sitcom, but he’s done a wide variety of media appearances…MadTV, Fox NFL Sunday, & a ton of radio shows…and is a regular in Vegas. He does awesome impressions of folks like Al Pacino, Morgan Freeman, President George W. Bush, & Robin Williams, as well as a ton of sportscentric impersonations such as ESPN personalities Mel Kiper Jr., Adam Shefter, & Stephen A. Smith, former coaches John learyMadden & Jon Gruden, Charles Barkley, Jim Rome, and Bill Walton. I think Caliendo is brilliant. Leary has segued into acting now, but at one time in the early 90’s he was a chain smoking, fast talking, “angry” comedian…kind of a toned down Sam Kinison…and he was hilarious. His comedy album No Cure for Cancer is classic and helped make dreary days at a tedious job more tolerable for me in the mid-1990’s. Leary was a much better stand-up comic than he is an actor, and I hope he goes back to what he does best someday.

 

3 Jerry Seinfeld
Yes I am aware that Mr. Seinfeld starred in a highly rated sitcom. As a matter of fact I chose Seinfeld as my favorite TV show of all time just a few years ago. However, that show was based, atleast partly, on the observational comedy of its star. Seinfeld was a celebrated comedian throughout the 1980’s, with his casual, conversational style playing really well on television in appearances with Johnny Carson and David Letterman. Seinfeld comes across as a kind of everyman, a guy it’d be fun to have lunch with or go on a road trip. Much like the beloved television show his standup comedy is about the trivialities, conundrums, seinfeldfrustrations, & contradictions of daily life. In contrast to guys like Kinison or Leary he isn’t particularly angry, and unlike Pryor, Murphy, or Dice he is far from profane. I would describe Seinfeld as perpetually bemused by the fickle nature of humanity. People like him just have a whole different way of looking at the world. They see things that most people overlook…and then they tell funny stories & jokes about what they perceive. Thankfully that perception is often quite entertaining. I always thought Seinfeld would end up hosting a late night show, but the stardom he achieved with his sitcom skyrocketed him past that. He doesn’t have to work that hard or often now. He hosts an amusing talk show called Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, which you can find online, and thankfully he has gone back to doing standup. Maybe one day I’ll get the opportunity to see him perform live.

 

2 Robin Williams
Robin Williams was like Jerry Seinfeld on cocaine. Literally. Sadly we lost Williams last year, but his legacy is rock solid. He, of course, became well-known in the early 80’s on the sitcom Mork & Mindy, and after that starred in a plethora of mostly good films. But Williams began as a standup comedian and never completely left it behind. On stage he did it all…jokes, stories, improv, pratfalls, impressions, observation. It is hard to put him in a box and categorize his williamscomedy. Robin Williams was manic, silly, intelligent, & creative. He was brilliant. His energy was unmatched. He always made me laugh. And not just a light snicker. I’m talking about wall shaking, tears in my eyes laughter that made others think I’d lost my mind. Hindsight informs us that the energy level was often drug induced, and sadly we also know that the comedy that made us laugh hid pain & depression that would ultimately lead to suicide. I don’t really know what to say about all of that. Unfortunately the tragic ending will likely forever alter the opinions of many about Robin Williams. I understand that, but for the purposes of this exercise choose to remember the good times.

 

1 George Carlin
George Carlin had a career unlike any other. He began doing standup in the 60’s and was still working nearly 50 years later. He dabbled a little bit in television & movies, but pretty much stuck to being a standup comedian. His observational comedy was a bit more acerbic, and many might say that in later years he bordered on meanspirited & angry. Carlin was a product of the counterculture 60’s and always had a bit of that “I’m smarter than you” attitude. In the 70’s he came up with his well-known routine The 7 Words You Can Never Say on Television, which seems a bit quaint now. I won’t repeat any of the words, but I will say that, as carlinopposed to four decades ago, I think I’ve heard atleast 3 or 4 of the forbidden words on network TV just this week. I didn’t really discover Carlin until the 80’s when he had several specials on HBO. By then he’d started doing a lot more sociopolitical commentary, much of it the complete opposite of my own worldview. However, I can usually overlook such disagreements and still find someone funny. While Jerry Seinfeld seems amused by humanity’s shortcomings they seemed to really tick George Carlin off. Sometimes this was hilarious, sometimes it wasn’t. The stuff I preferred from Carlin were his observations about language. He would talk about how language had evolved, mostly due to political correctness. Battle fatigue has become PTSD. Used cars are now pre-owned. Stewardesses are now flight attendants. Deaf people are hearing impaired & a person isn’t blind but has a visual impairment. I could go on but you get the point. Carlin was at his best when he was dissecting the idiocy of political correctness, something it seems like he hated as much as I do. That alone vaults him to the top of this list, despite everything he believed in that I disagree with.

Points of Ponderation…..Episode 1.14

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

 

 

 

 

Wow…has it really been 8+ months since the last episode of PoP?? I guess it has!! As citizens of The Manoverse may have guessed your humbleponder Potentate of Profundity has hit another of my infamous valleys. This is the first thing I’ve published here since my NFL mock draft nearly a month ago. There are a few things in the hopper, but none are quite done simmering yet. Stay tuned.

 

 

 

Time_changeIs anyone else struggling with the recent time change?? I have felt like a zombie since Sunday. I want to nod off all day & evening, then toss & turn all night, and I’ve had a difficult time getting up & moving all week. I’ve made it to work on time…but just barely. I am usually 15-20 minutes early. I was becoming a bit concerned about my health until hearing comments from others and talking to some co-workers who assured me that they felt the same and that it was the time change. As much as I like having it be daylight until 7pm I think maybe we should consider ending this clock hopping madness that messes up our Circadian rhythm twice a year.

 

 

 

Speaking of biology…..

I may have mentioned this in passing on a previous occasion, but I am a sincere believer in the concept of a male “cycle”. There is a 2 or 3 day period angerabout every 6 weeks (it feels like it occurs less often than monthly) during which saying that I am “out of sorts” would be a significant understatement. Sometimes I cross over into murderous rage territory. No…I have never actually killed anyone or even come close to harming them physically. I am far too delicate for prison. But if people could read my mind trust me…they’d run in the other direction. There doesn’t seem to be any reason for this mixture of melancholy, weariness, frustration, & wrath, but it is quite real and bothersome. I have promised myself I was going to track the idea a bit closer and see if I could figure out any kind of pattern, but to be honest I have not followed thru. I do recognize the situation better now as it is happening and make an effort to isolate myself until it goes away. After a few days I wake up feeling blessed, encouraged, hopeful, & optimistic, and that is when I know the cycle is over…until the next time. Anyone with thoughts on the subject or who may have solid information about what I am just guessing to be a tangible reality is encouraged to comment. Reassure me that I am not crazy.

 

 

 

It is mid-March and I have yet to have graced a movie theater with my presence in 2014. Admittedly part of the reason is the brutal winter we’ve had here in Appalachia. When the temperature is in single digits and there is a bunch of icy white stuff on the ground this guy doesn’t go anywhere I don’t absolutely have to go. But there have also been a scarcity of films that I have any interest in seeing. There have been action flicks like Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, 300: Rise of an Empire, & the RoboCop remake that do clapperboardnot frost my cupcake at all. I have never seen any of the Tom Clancy/Jack Ryan films, and I didn’t watch the first 300. I don’t know what it’s about and I don’t care. I almost went to see Ride Along, but during the aforementioned murderous rages one of the first people I’d enjoy harming if I was that type of person would be alleged comedian Kevin Hart, whose 15 minutes of fame I sincerely hope ends very very soon. I pondered going to see the Liam Neeson action flick Non-Stop (because the promos really do sell the heck out of that thing), but then I saw spoilers about the terrorists being ex-military 9/11 family members and I decided that Hollywood didn’t need my money to spew forth their anti-American pro-Muslim agenda. I wanted to go see Son of God, but read some things about it being Hollywood Jesus instead of Real Jesus, that there are a plethora of Biblical inaccuracies, and that Satan was cut completely out of the film after politically correct Thought Police complained that he looked too much like President Obama. A few church friends have seen the movie and said it was good, but I still think I’ll skip it. It is likely that I will check out the new Muppets flick coming out in a couple of weeks, but there is nothing I’m really stoked about seeing until the Kevin Costner football movie Draft Day hits theaters next month.

 

 

 

I never thought I’d say this, but…..

Maybe NBC should have just left things alone. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I haven’t enjoyed Jimmy Fallon’s Tonight Show nearly as much as I liked his Late Night. I find myself flipping over to Jimmy Kimmel more than I ever have. Fallon deserves credit fThe Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon - Season 1or not completely overhauling his act just because he moved to an earlier time slot. That’s what killed Conan O’Brien. JayLeno__130320220248__130809211218However, there’s just something missing with Fallon. I realized during his first week at 11:30pm that folks my Dad’s age were likely changing the channel because he just doesn’t play to an older audience. Now I realize that’s what brought about this change in the first place. The suits couldn’t possibly care less about my father’s demographic. They want the 18-35 crowd, and Fallon is apparently delivering that in spades. But I find myself thinking that maybe everyone would have been just as happy if Jay Leno would have been allowed to hang on for another decade and step down gracefully like Johnny Carson did (although there are those that believe he was pushed out just like Leno and chuckle about the karma). Leno was still pleasant & amusing, which is what the host of The Tonight Show should be.  I suppose I am at that point in life where seth-meyers-late-night-nbccomfortable & cozy mean more to me than edgy & daring. Maybe that’s what I always preferred. At any rate what’s done is done, and so I will move forward kimmel-0105being sporadically amused by a mix of Fallon, Kimmel, & Seth Myers, who isn’t great in the 12:30am Late Night spot but he’s not awful either. I wouldn’t be surprised if Leno popped back up somewhere in a year or so, and if that happens I’ll check it out. What about Bitter Letterman and goofball Craig Ferguson you ask?? Ehhh…I’ll pass…unless I’m really bored.

Person of the Month – January 2010

Better late than never, right??

I mentioned in The State of The Manofesto Address awhile back my intention to revive a feature that was a part of the old blog on MySpace in 2008. My intention was to post this over the weekend, but obviously that didn’t happen. I could lie and say I was busy, but that’s simply not the case. At any rate, I find myself with a small burst of creative energy (something I have been lacking the past few weeks) and some free time at the moment, so you’re welcome.

The decision of who would receive January’s honor (which comes with no cash prize but the distinguished privilege of receiving attention from my dozens and dozens of readers) was fairly easy. On January 10 NBC announced the “cancellation” of The Jay Leno Show, which had aired weeknights at 10pm for four months. The plan was to put Leno’s show in a 30 minute format at 11:35pm and push back The Tonight Show, which had been hosted by Conan O’Brien since June, to 12:05am. What NBC did not count on was the defiance of O’Brien, who flat out refused to host The Tonight Show at a time when, as someone amusingly pointed out, it would no longer technically be tonight. Conan showed he had a set the size of basketballs and most definitely made of brass. That kind of strength of character is more than enough to make Conan O’Brien our Person of the Month.

It might behoove us at this point to briefly go back in time, first to 1992 then to 2004. In 1992 Johnny Carson shocked the masses by suddenly retiring from The Tonight Show after 30 years. What should have happened was that David Letterman would become Tonight’s new host and Leno, who had been Carson’s regular guest host for several years, get his own show at 12:30. Instead the geniuses at NBC wrung their hands and let both men twist in the wind before ultimately choosing Leno for the gig, which then lead to Letterman getting ticked off and bolting for his own 11:30 show on CBS. To take over their 12:30 show NBC chose a complete unknown, a writer for The Simpsons and Saturday Night Live who had absolutely no on air experience. That unknown was of course O’Brien. The first few years of his show were, if I am being kind, subpar. But something funny began to happen…literally. By 2004 Conan’s contract was almost up and he was suddenly quite popular and in demand. NBC was desperate to hold on to him, so they brokered a deal in which he would take over The Tonight Show in 2009. Leno, perfecting his nice guy act, went along with that plan. There is really no logical reason.

Now let us flash ahead to last year. Leno was the reigning King of Late Night and the idea of pushing him aside for Conan began to look silly to anyone with a brain. However, the powers-that-be at NBC apparently don’t have much going in the brain department, so they forged ahead. The network geniuses began to formulate a plan for keeping both Jay and Conan. The solution was to give Leno a show at 10pm. Not being a big fan of the normal cops and lawyer shows or hospital dramas typically seen at that hour, I personally liked the idea. Unfortunately the masses disagreed, the ratings tanked, and the show was given the heave ho after 4 months. Meanwhile, Conan’s Tonight Show ratings were also less than stellar. That’s when then aforementioned plan…Jay for a half hour at 11:30, The Tonight Show at midnight…was hatched and subsequently crapped on by Conan.

The fallout from all this has been interesting. Leno is returning to Tonight after The Olympics are over, and Conan was given a boatload of money by NBC to go away. Other late night hosts, most notably Letterman and Jimmy Kimmel, have interjected themselves into the situation and had a ton of fun at NBC and Leno’s expense. Most agree that Leno has shown his true colors, that he is not the innocent nice guy he usually portrays himself to be. Conan, on the other hand, comes out of all this smelling like a rose. He is the scorned victim who did nothing wrong but lost his job anyway. He received millions of dollars to sit on the sidelines for the next several months, and presumably will land firmly on his feet with an 11:30 show on ABC or Fox in September. And he stood up for something bigger than himself. He did what so many people don’t do these days…..he stayed true to his principles and beliefs.

Some may say that Conan was foolish, that he should have accepted the proposed time slot change and kept his mouth shut. Apparently he felt that such a change would be harmful to the success of both his show and Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Who knows whether that is the case or not?? No one does really. But I respect a man who not only talks the talk but walks the walk. It is certainly a stark contrast to Leno, who now seems like a used car salesman or a televangelist…someone who will do or say anything to get what he wants and fool the masses into thinking he is a much better person than he is in reality, just another disingenuous poser. In the grand scheme of life late night television does not really have any measurable impact on the importance scale, but for all the laughs the situation provided the past several weeks and because he really does seem like the only honorable player in this dramedy, Conan O’Brien is our Person of the Month.

 

 

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Random Thoughts 13

The funeral of Senator Ted Kennedy cost the city of Boston over $400k. Somehow that seems like a fitting tribute to his liberal tax & spend legacy.

I’ve just never been able to get into Canadian football…I don’t know why.

Is anyone really shocked that Iran is adding to their nuclear arsenal (besides The Obama Administration of course)??

Awhile back I wrote about my satisfaction with the current late night lineup. With all the pieces now finally in place, let’s take a quick look at the hits & misses. I’m not sure Conan has found his stride on The Tonight Show quite yet, but give him time…it took a few years for him to get into the proper comfort zone at 12:30, so the current situation isn’t a surprise. Leno at 10pm is okay. There are some kinks to work out, but if one found him funny on The Tonight Show he’s pretty much the same now. For those that find his humor too vanilla and crave the edgy stuff, you won’t like him any better earlier. Jay is built for comfort, not controversy. I honestly haven’t watched Letterman, Kimmel, or Ferguson all that much lately. Letterman turned me off with the whole Sarah Palin thing and it just left a bad taste in my mouth. Ferguson is occasionally a bit too…manic…and I have to be in the right mood. Kimmel hasn’t done anything wrong, but his odd timeslot and lack of promotion make him forgettable, which is unfortunate. The emerging star in my eyes is Jimmy Fallon. I know he annoys alot of people, mostly folks my Dad’s age or older. But I find him to be the best compromise amongst the group. He’s got Leno’s affability, Conan’s wackiness, some of Letterman’s subversive humor and is just edgy enough without coming across curmudgeonly and bitter like Dave. He connects with the audience and seems to genuinely be having fun, which is remiscent of Kimmel. If I owned Fox I’d throw a boatload of cash at Kimmel for an 11:30 show and then move heaven & earth to get Fallon at 12:30. It could be The Jimmy Late Night Connection.

So let me get this straight about the proposed government health care fiasco – If I choose not to buy it there is a $1900 fine, and if I don’t pay that I could get a year in jail?? When did I involuntarily move to Cuba or Russia??

“Rachel’s Adult Night Club in Casselberry (FL) is giving out free flu shots to city residents.It is the sixth year in a row the club has held the promotion.Residents get free vaccines from 11:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. Tuesday and senior citizens get free lunch.Non-Casselberry residents can also get flu shots, but they’ll have to pay $30.” – Needles at a strip club…..now there’s a good idea…*lol*.

One of the biggest problems in our world today is incompetence. People don’t care enough to even head in the direction of excellence.

Filmmaker Michael Moore is an embarrasment and a moron. This isn’t a new revelation, just something I like to reiterate as often as possible.

It’s “supposedly”, not “supposibly”. That drives me nuts.

Gadhafi was allowed an audience with The U.N.?? Are you kidding me?? And Ahmadinejad?? It really is like the cantina scene from Star Wars.

I’m okay with Ellen Degeneres taking Paula Abdul’s spot as a judge on American Idol. She’s not a music industry insider, so she can kind of be the voice of the fans. Plus she’ll be just as amusing as Abdul but the humor will be intentional and ostensibly not pharmaceutically enhanced.

Recent legit terror threats leave no doubt as to the brilliance of former President Bush and the bumbling ineptitude of the current buffoon residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. We’ve gotten complacent in the years after 9/11, but GW and a few others always realized how foolish it would be to let off the throttle.

I can’t believe there are still people in America who willingly pay $50+ for boxing pay-per-views.

Random Thoughts 6

C.S. Lewis was a brilliant writer. If only I could be half as gifted I’d be thrilled.

 

As a night owl I am really liking the state of late night television these days. When I was a kid there was really only one choice…The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Oh a few pretenders came along to challenge him, but they were all subpar and didn’t last long. I loved Carson, but I also like choices. Now we have Conan O’Brien doing The Tonight Show and also David Letterman, who’s still brilliant after all these years, at 11:30. At 12:30 we have Jimmy Fallon and Craig Ferguson. Jimmy Kimmel follows Nightline (a show that has never been my cup of tea) at midnight. And Jay Leno, who some criticize as being lackluster, a milquetoast compared to Letterman’s acerbic smartass, moves to 10pm. I’ve always enjoyed Leno immensely myself. I find him pleasantly enjoyable, and he is no doubt taking the spot of five uninspired, banal dramas (atleast 3 of them probably being some form of Law & Order) that I wouldn’t watch anyway. I am glad he’s not disappearing from my TV screen permanently. I sincerely like all these hosts and their shows. Overall, the late night landscape has never been better.

 

Psalm 188:24 says “this is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it”. I hear a lot of church folk quoting this scripture, but only on warm and sunny days, as if God doesn’t take responsibility for rain or snow or cold. Interesting.

 

That alarm Susan Boyle hears is the sound of her 15 minutes of fame ending. Or maybe it’s chow time at the nut house.

 

So…recently, there was an incident. The details aren’t important. The incident itself was insignificant to everyone but me and I am fully aware of that fact. Suffice to say that I was screwed over and got upset. Even as it was happening I said to myself “no one really understands how I feel and I have to be cautious not to say too much because it will get turned around on me and it’ll be MY fault.” Sure enough, later that evening my prediction came true and the whole situation somehow ended up being my fault because I “should have said something” when the truth is I should have never have had to speak up and ask for what I didn’t get. People…people who have known me my entire life, people who are RELATED to me…are inconsiderate to me yet it’s my fault. Unbelievable.

 

It’s amazing how the bought and paid for drive-by media is now going out of their way to put a positive spin on an economy that’s still just as bad if not worse than it was 6 months ago. The difference between then and now?? 6 months ago the reviled George W. Bush was President, and now it’s the so-revered-its-nauseating Barack Hussein Obama. I mean seriously…every time I hear a reporter on TV talking about Obama I feel like I’ve just accidentally spied on two people making tender yet passionate love to one another.

Random Thoughts 1

  • Have you ever noticed that when you are trying to be the most quiet is when you are apt to make the most noise??
  • I’m usually a BIG sucker for the underdog unless one of my favorite teams (Pittsburgh Steelers, Pittsburgh Pirates, Marshall Thundering Herd, WV Mountaineers) are playing. But for some reason I get immense pleasure out of seeing the greatest golfer in the world, Tiger Woods, kick ass and take names.
  • When someone uses terms like “that’s crazy” or “that’s wild” or the 70’s term “far out” during a conversation, it basically means they’ve tuned you out and no longer have any interest in what you’re saying.
  • It’s funny how George W. Bush was CRUCIFIED for not reacting fast enough to Hurricane Katrina but NO ONE is criticizing Hussein Obama for not sending in the cavalry to save Fargo. I guess there aren’t enough minorities in the Dakotas.
  • An early opinion of Jimmy Fallon’s late night talk show  –  Ehhhh…..it’s okay. He’s pleasant enough. It’s certainly not must see TV. But let us remember, Conan O’Brien really sucked when he first started but eventually found his comfort zone. Besides, what does one expect at 12:30 at night, Shakespeare??
  • I really like root beer.
  • The NCAA basketball tournament hasn’t really frosted my cupcake this year.
  • I don’t care what political party you support or what your opinion is on various issues…if the government taking over private businesses like General Motors or forcing private citizens to give back earned bonus moneys like in the case of AIG doesn’t scare the living daylights out of you then you’re crazy.