Monday Night Football

100 Memorable TV Theme Songs – Part 6

I promised y’all we wouldn’t have another big delay, and I am a man of my word. Actually, now that my weekends will be filled with an abundance of football action (unless I receive an offer that just can’t be refused to actually leave the cozy confines of my humble abode), it is the perfect time to work on projects like this since I enjoy multitasking while in vegg mode. If you are new here please take a look around, and catch up with this series by going here…then here…then here…then here…and finally, here. Take your time…we’ll leave the light on for you.

50 Petticoat Junction (Petticoat Junction)

Come ride the litte train

That is rollin’ down the tracks to the junction

Forget about your cares

It is time to relax at the junction

This is another one of those shows that I admit to not watching much of, partly because its original run ended before I was born, but also because, even though reruns were available during my childhood, it just didn’t interest me. Having said that, the theme song is a fun little ditty with a bluegrass vibe.

49 Together (Silver Spoons)

Together, we’re going to find our way

Together, taking the time each day

To learn all about those things you just cant buy

I feel like Silver Spoons gets overlooked by those who fondly reminisce about great 80s sitcoms. Rick Schroder never really became the kind of big star that many expected after his Golden Globe winning performance in 1979’s The Champ when he was nine years old, and the show itself wasn’t a huge hit. However, it did launch the careers of Alfonso Ribeiro and Jason Bateman. The theme song is exactly the kind of schmaltzy, soft rock-esque vibe one would expect to find in an 80s time capsule.

48 Gomer Pyle, USMC (Gomer Pyle, USMC)

Gomer Pyle was a spinoff of The Andy Griffith Show, and was almost as successful. One can enjoy Gomer Pyle on its own merits, even if you’ve never seen an episode of TAGS. However, in my humble opinion, the character works better as a supporting player amongst the hilarious antics in Mayberry, and I kind of wish he’d never left to join the service. Pyle’s theme song is NOT an official Marine tune, although composer Earle Hagen (who also wrote & whistled the TAGS theme) did a really nice job of capturing the essence of a military style march.

47 Suicide is Painless (MASH)

I freakin’ hated MASH when I was a kid. Not only did I not understand the humor (or drama) of the well written program, but I seem to recall it aired at 9pm on Mondays, when all I wanted to do was watch a little bit of Monday Night Football before I had to go to bed. Unfortunately my father loved MASH, and he had control of the only television in our house at the time. Having said that, I did develop an appreciation for the show as an adult, though it still isn’t something I seek out on streaming platforms. There are lots of other things I prefer for a jolt of nostalgia (although the 1970 film starring Donald Sutherland, Elliott Gould, Tom Skerritt, Sally Kellerman, and Robert Duvall is rather entertaining). The theme song’s title contains the word “suicide”, which is obviously a downer, but it’s one of the most memorable themes in television history.

46 I Love You (Barney)

I love you, you love me

We’re a happy family

With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you

Won’t you say you love me too

It haunts my dreams. That damn purple dinosaur was really popular when my nephew was a toddler, and he wanted to watch the videos over & over & over & over & over…😱.

45 Linus & Lucy (Peanuts)

When the first Peanuts holiday special, A Charlie Brown Christmas, was being produced in the 1960s, the comic strip’s creator Charles Schulz & TV producer Lee Mendelson battled network suits who were a bit hesitant about jazz musician Vince Guaraldi writing & performing the score. Needless to say the suits were wrong, and Generation X is thankful that Schulz & Mendelson got their way, with Linus & Lucy becoming the unofficial Peanuts theme song. I am the kind of dork who assigns various ringtones to my frequent contacts, and Linus & Lucy was my sister’s tone (because Lucy is Linus’ sister and that’s how my brain works). Though she passed more than two years ago I have not deleted the tune from my phone, and I never will.

44 All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight (Monday Night Football)

Are you ready for some football?

A Monday night party

Yes, sir, this is Hank and my mission is to get this party started

You know helmets crashin’, the crowd is psyched

Cause all my rowdy friends are here on Monday night

I had the opportunity to see Hank Williams Jr. in concert when I was in college. Unfortunately, because that was WAY before smart phones & social media, and due to enthusiastic “pre-gaming”, memories of the event are…vague. At any rate, a modified version of his 1984 Top Ten hit opened MNF from 1989-2011, until Williams dared to criticize President Obama with an analogy that “journalists” & Hollywood types now use routinely with President Trump, which prompted ABC/Disney to do that thing they do of ruining a perfectly good thing for no real reason.

43 Big Bang (The Big Bang Theory)

Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state

Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait

The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool

Neanderthals developed tools

We built a wall (we built the pyramids)

Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries

That all started with the big bang

I LOVED TBBT and was glued to my TV every Thursday night for over a decade. There was a time when I used to watch a copious amount of reruns on TBS, although that phase seems to have passed. I was not a fan of 90s rock band Barenaked Ladies, but kudos to them for writing perhaps the last great television theme song.

42 The Addams Family (The Addams Family)

They’re creepy and they’re kooky

Mysterious and spooky

They’re all together ooky

The Addams Family

The Munsters (The Munsters)

Yes, I am aware that they are two different shows. However, it is difficult to overlook the similarities. Both featured odd, macabre, goth families seemingly unaware of their peculiarities. Both aired for only two seasons from 1964-66. Despite both shows producing less than 100 episodes, their popularity continues decades later thanks to almost always being aired somewhere on television. And finally, both had unique, infectious theme songs that everyone of a certain age remembers. The Addams Family theme has been used for various films & television revivals. The Munsters instrumental theme had a strangely effective surfer vibe and was actually nominated for Grammy.

41 My Life (Bosom Buddies)

I don’t need you to worry for me ’cause I’m alright
I don’t want you to tell me it’s time to come home
I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone

Bosom Buddies’ most enduring legacy is introducing the world to Tom Hanks. It’s also a sitcom that’d never be greenlit in this day & age for fairly obvious reasons. The 1980s were just different. Anyway, My Life had been a Top 5 hit for Billy Joel in the late 70s, although it was performed by a different singer for the show and jettisoned altogether for syndication & home video. I am sure all of that is related to licensing, money, and legal mumbo jumbo.

We’re heading down the home stretch!! Please stay tuned for Part 7.

2024 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…Week 18

First of all, F*^K YOU NFL. As silly as it may seem, last weekend, when RedZone host Scott Hanson changed his familiar catchphrase “seven hours of commercial free football” because they’re now running a few commercials during the broadcast, it upset me to the point that I was ready to drop out of every fantasy league I’m in and stop doing these picks in the future. Perhaps I have a screw loose. Or maybe the holiday season, which isn’t as merry & bright in my world as it once was, had me all up in my feelings. Thankfully I chilled out enough that my Steelers getting trucked by the Chiefs on Christmas Day barely raised my blood pressure. I still don’t know how I will proceed with RedZone, which I’ve loved for several years. The NFL has tested my patience for awhile with their “social justice” initiatives and watering down the game under the guise of “safety”, but RedZone felt like the last bastion for pure enjoyment of the sport. Now, a corporation that makes BILLIONS of dollars in profits is tainting that innocence for a few more ad dollars that won’t make or break them. It’s sick. Perhaps they’ll change their mind, but I won’t hold my breath. At any rate, Zach (3-2) bested me (1-4) once again to draw within one game of a tie for the season, which still doesn’t upset me as much as the whole RedZone situation.

My Season: 49-55

Zach’s Season: 48-56

Denver at Cincinnati (-3)

Both teams are still fighting for a playoff berth, but the 7-8 Bengals need some help. Obviously that starts with winning this game. Conversely, the 9-6 Broncos will be in with a victory. I really had both of these teams pegged wrong, believing that Cincinnati would bounce back from last season and be a factor in the AFC North, while Denver would secure a Top 5 draft pick. The opposite has occurred with both teams. Having said that, I think the home team wins on their turf and hangs on to a thread of hope for the postseason. Zach appreciates what the Broncos have accomplished with rookie QB Bo Nix, but feels they are an unfinished product with some work to do. He doesn’t like the Bengals defense at all, but gives the nod to Cincy & QB Joe Burrow in a shootout.

My Pick: Cincinnati 

Zach’s Pick: Cincinnati 

Green Bay at Minnesota (-1.5)

It might be the best game of the weekend. Both teams will make the playoffs, but the 13-2 Vikings can still claim a division title and maybe even a first round bye if things go their way. In their previous meeting way back in September Minnesota got a close win on the road, so I expect things to balance out with the 11-4 Packers returning the favor. Zach concurs.

My Pick: Green Bay 

Zach’s Pick: Green Bay 

Miami (-6.5) at Cleveland

I expected the Dolphins to challenge for a division title, but at 7-8 they’re just fighting to finish with a winning record. No one should be surprised by the futility of the 3-12 Browns, who are even worse than I expected and have dropped off significantly from last year’s mirage of success. The home field doesn’t even matter. It’ll probably be a yawn inducing slugfest, but I believe the visiting favorites will win comfortably. Zach agrees.

My Pick: Miami 

Zach’s Pick: Miami

Atlanta at Washington (-4)

Don’t sleep on this game featuring two of the first eight selections in this past spring’s draft (and 2 of the top 4 quarterbacks). Jayden Daniels has been a revelation for the 10-5 Commanders, who are battling the Seattle Seahawks for the NFC’s third wildcard, while Michael Penix Jr. was just inserted into the lineup a week ago to boost the 8-7 Falcons to the NFC South crown, which is the only way Atlanta or the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will qualify for the playoffs. Penix might indeed be the answer in Atlanta, but we don’t really have much data yet, whereas I’ve seen enough to know how great Daniels & the Commanders can be. Zach concurs.

My Pick: Washington  

Zach’s Pick: Washington 

Detroit (-3.5) at San Francisco 

One team has lived up to the hype, while the other has had their season torpedoed by misfortune. At 13-2 the Lions are safely in the postseason field, but they need to win to secure the division title & a first round bye. The 6-9 Niners have been a huge disappointment and will need to confront some tough issues in the offseason. A few months ago I would’ve assumed this to be one of the marquee Monday night games of the entire season, but now it just feels like an afterthought. The outcome of Green Bay-Minnesota could alter Detroit’s approach to the game, but either way I believe they will prevail. Zach agrees.

My Pick: Detroit 

Zach’s Pick: Detroit

2024 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…Week 13

We won’t rehash last week except to say that I edged Zach by one game. Overall we both sank deeper into the abyss. It might seem like we’re chasing wins with bonus picks now, but that isn’t the case. It just so happens that the schedule is provocative, beginning on Thursday night when our Steelers visit Cleveland and I will regret not having adult beverages on hand. Of course we aren’t dealing with that contest, but I sure do hope it gets the weekend off to a good start. 

My Season: 37-35

Zach’s Season: 32-40

Ole Miss (-10) at Florida 

The 8-2 Rebels find themselves amidst a gaggle of atleast a half dozen teams vying for two spots in the SEC title game, and would like to remain in the very realistic scenario that could see four teams from that conference receive playoff berths. Conversely, the 5-5 Gators would be happy with a bowl bid & a non-losing season. I have to assume that Florida being double digit underdogs in The Swamp is rare, although they’ve lost at home four times this year…all by 13+ points. As much as I hate to point it out, I feel like we’ve landed right back in the era of “style points” being way too important, so for that reason I believe the visitors will deliver the beatdown expected from them. Zach has observed improvement from Florida, but doesn’t believe it’s enough to go against the grain this week.

My Pick: Ole Miss

Zach’s Pick: Ole Miss

Army vs. Notre Dame (-15.5)

In case you haven’t been paying attention, the Black Knights are unbeaten and ranked in the Top 20. Sadly, their program is treated like the precocious child that adults indulge for awhile at family gatherings before banishing them to the kiddie table. Meanwhile, the Irish still have to be kicking themselves for an inexcusable loss in early September to Northern Illinois (a team that currently finds themselves 6-5). They are virtually a lock for the playoff though, unless some really bizarre things occur. I’d love to pick an upset, but I don’t see any way Army loses the game by less than three TDs. Zach concurs.

My Pick: Notre Dame 

Zach’s Pick: Notre Dame 

Wisconsin at Nebraska (-2.5)

Neither team receives much attention in the stacked Big Ten, and considering their matching 5-5 records I suppose that indifference is well deserved. The Cornhuskers have lost four in a row, while the Badgers have dropped their last three games, including a spirited battle against #1 Oregon, which Wisconsin could’ve & should’ve won. I don’t think it’s easy to recover from heartbreak like that, so I’m riding with the home favorites. Zach foresees typical Big Ten, low scoring, smashmouth football. He believes Nebraska is finally headed in the right direction, but predicts a late 4th quarter game winning drive for the underdogs. 

My Pick: Nebraska

Zach’s Pick: Wisconsin 

Colorado (-2.5) at Kansas

I’ll admit that I haven’t shown Coach Prime much respect. He’s an attention whore who led the Buffaloes to an atrocious 4-8 record a season ago. Having said that, credit must be given for a turnaround that finds Colorado 8-2 and ranked in the Top 20. The 4-6 Jayhawks are a huge disappointment after finishing 9-4 last year. However, they have won two consecutive games against ranked opponents and have the home field. Can they do it again?? It’s probably not a very smart pick, but that’s the way The Voices are pulling me. Zach thinks Colorado has a legit shot at earning a playoff spot and sees them winning big this week.

My Pick: Kansas

Zach’s Pick: Colorado 

Indiana at Ohio State (-12.5)

It would be beneficial for college football if this ends up being a more competitive game than the “experts” believe it’ll be. Nearly everyone outside Columbus, OH is cheering on the undefeated Hoosiers. Every March we see a couple of basketball teams bask in the glory of upsetting a blue blood program. They rarely get close to winning the championship, but they earn “one shining moment” in the sun that’ll be cherished for a lifetime. That doesn’t happen as often on the football field, but this could potentially be that kind of occasion. Unfortunately, I think the Buckeyes are just too athletic at every position and the home field is formidable. Being wrong would make me happy in this case, but I don’t think I am. Zach recognizes that Ohio St. has plenty of experience in big games, but his issues with the entire state of Ohio that probably need to be explored by an experienced therapist preclude him from picking them.

My Pick: Ohio St.

Zach’s Pick: Indiana 

Dallas at Washington (-10.5)

It looks like I was a year ahead of the Cowboys implosion. I don’t know if that makes me vaguely psychic or just one of those hard luck bums who’ll be shown in The Great Beyond just how many times I screwed up, coming oh so close to happiness & success only to miss it by a whisper. At any rate, when I was a kid this was a cool rivalry chock full of Cowboys vs. Indians imagery & analogies, but leftists robbed us of that fun like they do in virtually all areas of society, and this year I don’t even expect it to be very interesting on the field. I just hope Jayden Daniels lights up the scoreboard since he’s my starting quarterback in a few fantasy leagues. Zach opines that Dallas probably needs to just scrap everything from the top down and start from scratch.

My Pick: Washington

Zach’s Pick: Washington 

Tampa Bay (-5.5) at NY Giants 

The Bucs are 4-6 but could just as easily be 7-3.  It seems that Baker Mayfield is a rather decent quarterback outside the Vortex of Apathy that sucks the joy out of Cleveland, but he has landed with another hard luck franchise. Meanwhile, it looks like the 2-8 Giants will be drafting another QB next spring, as they have finally admitted that Daniel Jones is indeed the epic failure the rest of us knew he was destined to become five years ago. New York could’ve waited until much later in that draft and snagged Gardner Minshew with better results. Anyway, this is exactly the kind of game RedZone was created for, because I’d rather dangle my junk in the kitchen sink at Diddy’s house than watch the entire sixty minutes. Tampa will win, but no one will notice or give a damn. Zach agrees.

My Pick: Tampa Bay

Zach’s Pick: Tampa Bay

Baltimore (-3) at LA Chargers 

Our Steelers beat the Ravens last week and every Baltimore apologist is still crying about it. Don’t misunderstand…I fully realize that it’s way too soon to get cocky, and the AFC North is still a street fight that’s far from over. However, I told y’all in the preseason that I wasn’t all in on the Baltimore hype, and I was right. Conversely, Jim Harbaugh has transformed the 7-3 Chargers into a playoff contender just like I told you he would. It’s a Monday night showdown that probably isn’t receiving enough attention. It won’t be easy, and I think RB Derrick Henry will rebound nicely from the abysmal game he had in Pittsburgh, but I am boldly calling for an upset. Zach enjoys the Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh of it all, and at the end of the day he also likes the former Michigan coach to prevail.

My Pick: LA Chargers 

Zach’s Pick: LA Chargers 

2024 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…Week 11

Better late than never, right?? The deadline for these posts is always before kickoff of the first game, so I suppose technically we’re not late. However, I usually strive to get things done by Wednesday or Thursday, especially if we’re picking a Thursday night game, which is why we don’t pick Thursday games often. At any rate, it’s very rare to not have everything up for public consumption Saturday morning, but occasionally your humble webmaster does have some semblance of a life, hence the delay. At any rate, there hasn’t been much of a shift in our records, so we’ll just move on to this weekend’s games. 

My Season: 33-29

Zach’s Season: 28-34

Clemson (-6.5) at Virginia Tech

Once upon a time it was a marquee matchup with, at the very least, conference title implications. Unfortunately both teams are on the outside looking in right now. The outlook could improve for the 6-2 Tigers with a victory, while the 5-4 Hokies are simply defending their home turf and playing for bowl eligibility. I expect a spirited battle, but in the end it’s hard to ignore the fact that Clemson is clearly a better team. Zach believes the visiting favorites will win big.

My Pick: Clemson

Zach’s Pick: Clemson

Alabama (-3) at LSU

Has a bit of the shine worn off this rivalry?? Perhaps, but not that much. At 6-2 both teams still have conference championship & playoff aspirations, but those dreams will likely end for the loser. Death Valley on a Saturday night is daunting for any visitor, even The Tide. I believe we’re looking at a last second field goal or overtime situation, and I feel an upset brewing. Zach, on the other hand, likes LSU quarterback Garrett Nussmeier, but thinks ‘Bama is the better team. He wouldn’t be surprised to see overtime, but thinks the visiting favorites will snag a close victory.

My Pick: LSU

Zach’s Pick: Alabama 

BYU (-4.5) at Utah

Who would have predicted a few months ago that the Battle of the Beehive State would have conference title implications…for BYU?? Not only do the Cougars lead the Big 12, but they are an unbeaten Top Ten team. Conversely, the 4-4 Utes have had their season go completely off the rails in the past month. They have the home field, but since the two schools are less than an hour apart it probably doesn’t matter. It’s one of those late night kickoffs that I used to look forward to when I was younger, but now I don’t know if I’ll even be awake for the second half and don’t anticipate missing much. Zach predicts a high scoring shootout, with the visiting favorites ultimately prevailing.

My Pick: BYU

Zach’s Pick: BYU

Philadelphia (-6.5) at Dallas 

Both teams are looking up at the division leading Washington Commanders, which is kind of funny. To be fair, Philly is only a half game out of first place and seems to have fixed most of the issues that plagued them late last season. The addition of RB Saquon Barkley has been a huge boost, with him resembling the freak of nature he was back at Penn St. in 2017. Meanwhile, the 3-5 Cowboys are fulfilling my prophecy for them from a year ago. I should have stuck with those vibes this offseason. Even with the home field there is no reason to believe Dallas has a chance to come out on top. Zach concurs.

My Pick: Philadelphia 

Zach’s Pick: Philadelphia 

Miami at LA Rams (-2.5)

It’s the Monday night game, which means football fans will be watching. The question though is whether or not we should be excited to tune in. At 2-6 the Dolphins are, thus far, falling way short of expectations. Can they turn things around in the second half of the season?? The outcome of this game could go a long way toward answering that question. The Rams are 4-4 and in a dog fight with the other three teams in the NFC West, so a victory would be quite important to them as well. I view the Rams as solid yet unspectacular in all three phases of the game. Their record could easily be a couple of wins better, but sometimes the ball just doesn’t bounce the right way. I foresee the home favorites having an edge in turnovers & time of possession, which should help them come out on top. Zach believes it could be a nail biter, but thinks a healthy Rams team is peaking at the right time.

My Pick: LA Rams

Zach’s Pick: LA Rams

2024 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…Week 4

Neither one of us had a good week, thanks in part to underwhelming performances by the Wisconsin Badgers & Houston Texans. We’ll try to do better, starting on Friday night. Kudos to Fox, which, for the moment anyway, has replaced the departed WWE Smackdown (now airing on USA Network, which is fine with this wrasslin’ fan), with a Friday night football game. That means that we are able to enjoy football five out of seven nights. I rarely leave The Bachelor Palace these days as it is, but now I can feel good about it for awhile. 

My Season: 11-12

Zach’s Season: 12-11

Illinois at Nebraska (-8.5)

The college football world has been awaiting Nebraska’s return to relevance for a very long time. They haven’t had a winning season since 2016 and haven’t won ten games since 2012. The Cornhuskers have cycled thru six head coaches since the legendary Tom Osborne retired in 1997. Currently they sit at 3-0, but now the real work begins. The Illini are also 3-0, including an impactful victory over Kansas. This will be the first road game for Illinois, and there will be 90k fans ready to rumble in Lincoln on Friday. I like the home team, but I think the points are a little much. Nebraska probably wins by a 5-8 point margin. Conversely, Zach doesn’t see anything to dislike about Nebraska and believes they’ll get a big victory.

My Pick: Illinois

Zach’s Pick: Nebraska 

Tennessee (-7.5) at Oklahoma 

I don’t like Oklahoma in the SEC, but will reluctantly agree that it creates some intriguing matchups. The Vols are 3-0, having outscored their opponents 191-13. The 3-0 Sooners have the home field, but even the oddsmakers don’t see that as much of an advantage. I believe they are about to receive a very harsh welcome to their new conference, with the suits having to remind themselves that, financially atleast, it wasn’t a terrible decision, even it is a stupid move in every other way. Zach, on the other hand, predicts a high scoring shootout with very little defense. 

My Pick: Tennessee 

Zach’s Pick: Oklahoma 

Utah (-1.5) at Oklahoma State

The Utes were my preseason #1, and thru three games have not given me a reason to regret it. I ranked the Cowboys in my Top Ten and warned the masses not to sleep on this game. ESPN’s College Gameday will be less than a hundred miles away in Norman because…well of course they will be, but I think this will be the better game in that state. I’ll be thrilled if it’s as close as the odds indicate, but at the end of the day I have the visiting favorites pulling out a thriller, and these teams possibly meeting for a rematch in the Big 12 title game in a few months. Zach makes a valid point that Utah QB Cam Rising, who injured his hand a couple weeks ago and didn’t play at Utah St., is so important to his team that his absence would completely change the equation. That possibility is enough to swing the pendulum in the home team’s direction for him.

My Pick: Utah

Zach’s Pick: Oklahoma St.

Baltimore (-1) at Dallas

It warms my cockles to see these alleged Super Bowl contenders sitting at 0-2 & 1-1 respectively, with neither atop their division. Okay, okay…to be fair the Cowboys are in a three way tie, with the 0-2 Giants a game behind. Also, I realize both teams are likely to fix their issues and jump back into the playoff conversation. However, only one can emerge victorious on Sunday afternoon. It’s very interesting that the Cowboys are home underdogs, which probably means the “experts” believe they have bigger problems than their opponents. That being said, I am a bit of a contrarian who likes to go against conventional wisdom. While it pains me to have to cheer for either team, in this case I think Dallas defends their home turf with a single digit win. Zach opines that a Cowboys loss would put head coach Mike McCarthy on the hot seat, which would be fascinating given my prediction concerning him a year ago and my feeble decision to back off on the idea this season. 

My Pick: Dallas

Zach’s Pick: Dallas

Washington at Cincinnati (-8)

Monday Night Football is on an early season roll, and I’m here for it. The Commanders are 1-1, but I think rookie QB Jayden Daniels has an opportunity to be special, especially if the team acquires another weapon or two so WR Terry McClaurin doesn’t have secondaries focusing on him. Meanwhile, the 0-2 Bengals have been disappointing thus far, but it’s way too soon to push the panic button. There is no shame in losing to the defending Super Bowl champions on their home field, especially when the zebras put their stamp on the game. I foresee Daniels putting on a show and almost singlehandedly keeping his team in the game, with Cincy ultimately getting the win but not covering the points. Zach opines that the Bengals have been playing down to the level of their opponents, but believes they’ll rise up and blow out Washington. 

My Pick: Washington 

Zach’s Pick: Cincinnati 

2023 PIGSKIN PICKS OF PROFUNDITY…WEEK 13

Both of us were 5-5 last week, which almost makes bonus picks feel like a waste of time. However, I can’t go that far really because having the outcome of those games matter makes them more fun to watch. We’re doing something a bit different this week…or are we?? I think we may have tried this concept once…perhaps a couple of times…in the past. Instead of both of us picking the same games we’ll both be picking five separate games. Enjoy!!

My Season: 43-30

Zach’s Season: 36-37

Wake Forest at Notre Dame (-24.5)

It’s the Sam Hartman Bowl!! The Fighting Irish QB spent five seasons in Winston-Salem under center for the Demon Deacons and became the ACC’s all-time leader in touchdown passes. Wake is 4-6, so they need to win out to become bowl eligible, while the home team is 7-3 and will probably end up playing in a top tier New Year’s bowl game because that’s how college football seems to work these days. Zach is concerned about the points, but he’s feeling frisky.

Zach’s Pick: Notre Dame

Colorado at Washington State (-4.5)

The talking heads have mostly stopped paying attention to Coach Prime since the Buffaloes are 4-6 and have lost three in a row. Having said that, the Cougars share the same abysmal record and have lost six straight games. Yikes. This is a Friday night game on FS1, which doesn’t bode well for ratings. The Vibes are telling me that the Buffs are desperate enough for the additional attention a post-season appearance brings, so they’ll be motivated to become bowl eligible.

My Pick: Colorado

North Carolina at Clemson (-6.5)

It hasn’t been a great year for the 6-4 Tigers, but they’ve won two in a row and would love to finish strong, building momentum for the future in the process. Meanwhile, the 8-2 Tar Heels hit a snag with two close losses at the end of October, which essentially killed their conference title aspirations. Zach isn’t necessarily predicting an upset, but he foresees a close contest.

Zach’s Pick: North Carolina

Appalachian State at James Madison (-11.5)

ESPN will be on hand for Gameday, and as someone who graduated from a school that took the leap from 1-AA/FCS to playing in a Group of Five FBS conference I understand how much that means to these programs. The 6-4 Mountaineers aren’t going to win the Sun Belt or get to ten wins as had become fairly commonplace until last season, but they’d surely love to go bowling. Conversely, the undefeated Dukes have sparked a debate about an outdated NCAA rule that precludes them from post-season participation because this is only their second year at the FBS level. Meanwhile, last year a 5-7 team got a bowl bid, and nowadays players transfer more frequently than most people change underwear. Make it make sense. Anyway, I think the home crowd & all the hype will help the home team, but the points are just too much. JMU gets the victory, but they’ll win by 7-10 points.

My Pick: Appalachian St.

Oklahoma State (-7) at Houston

The 7-3 Cowboys still have an opportunity to get to the Big 12 title game, but questions remain after the beatdown they received last week at UCF. As for the 4-6 Cougars…well, it’s their first season in the conference, and they’ve proven they can hang despite their record. They need to win out to be bowl eligible. Zach doesn’t think that’s going to happen though, predicting the favorites to grind out a hard fought victory.

Zach’s Pick: Oklahoma St.

Kansas State (-7.5) at Kansas

The Battle of Kansas is normally more interesting on the basketball court, but with both teams at 7-3 and not mathematically out of the Big 12 title hunt this could be a fascinating game. You may recall that I had high hopes for the Wildcats, but losing at Missouri back in September squashed those expectations. They did push Texas to triple OT a couple weeks ago before losing, which deserves a tip o’ the cap. Meanwhile, the Jayhawks came out of the gate strong but have rode the roller coaster the last two months. It’s a 7pm kickoff on Saturday night and a chance for the folks at FS1 to present a better game than the night before. I won’t be watching because I have plans, but I think the home team gets it done, or atleast stays really close the whole way.

My Pick: Kansas

Cincinnati at Baltimore (-3)

The AFC North is very much up for grabs, with the 5-4 Bengals battling back into contention after a rough start. The 7-3 Ravens are a confusing team, occasionally looking like the championship contenders that the talking heads promote them as being, but sometimes snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. That’s exactly what Zach thinks will happen, with Joe Burrow leading Cincy to a big win on the last possession of the game.

Zach’s Pick: Cincinnati

NY Giants at Washington (-10)

The Giants season has been torpedoed by injuries. At 2-8 they’re in the running to snag the top pick in April’s NFL Draft, which could force them to ponder whether or not QB Daniel Jones, currently on the shelf with a torn ACL, is really their guy. The 4-6 Commanders have shown occasional signs of life, but they could find themselves in the same boat, having to decide if QB Sam Howell is the future. As for this game, Washington isn’t a dominating enough team to beat anyone by double digits.

My Pick: NY Giants

NY Jets at Buffalo (-7)

What’s up with the Bills?? They’ve lost 3 out of the last four games and just fired their offensive coordinator (while Steelers fans everywhere shake our heads in amazement). The Jets have shown potential but are inconsistent. Neither team is out of division title contention, but they need to shape up rather quickly or Miami will win the AFC East easily. Zach has lost faith in Buffalo and thinks they’d be fortunate to win at all, but if it happens it’ll be by the skin of their teeth.

Zach’s Pick: NY Jets

Philadelphia at Kansas City (-3)

Is it a Super Bowl preview?? Possibly. Both teams should be rested & healthy follow a bye week, and the viewers of Monday Night Football will reap the rewards. The 8-1 Eagles haven’t blown anyone out, but perhaps that’s because they’ve known how good they are and haven’t needed to exert maximum effort. The Chiefs are 7-2 and will cruise to their eighth consecutive division title, but they’ve shown chinks in the armor. Whichever team establishes a ground game, dominates time of possession, and plays better defense will be victorious, and I believe the visiting underdogs are up to the task.

My Pick: Philadelphia

2023 PIGSKIN PICKS OF PROFUNDITY…WEEK 10

First of all, I am making an unprecedented executive decision. Zach & I both chose Penn St. to atleast cover the 7 & a half point spread against Ohio St. The Nittany Lions scored a touchdown with 29 seconds left to draw within eight points. At that point they decided to go for a two point conversion that failed. They were going to need to recover an onside kick to have a chance, which didn’t work out. Had that been successful they would have needed a touchdown & extra point to win. However, if they would’ve simply kicked the extra point with 29 seconds remaining they would’ve needed that same thing, only for a tie & to force overtime. Essentially going for two only served to screw anyone for whom that one point (really a half point) might’ve been important. Since we do not promote gambling here 😉, have no money on the line, and both of us had the same pick, I am rewarding us with a win. At the end of the day that means I was 4-1, while Zach was 2-3. Let’s see what we can do this week.

My Season: 31-22

Zach’s Season: 25-28

Oregon (-7) at Utah

The 6-1 Utes got a rather significant victory over USC last weekend, while the 6-1 Ducks rebounded nicely from their only loss of the season. Both teams are still in the thick of the PAC 12 title hunt, with Utah getting an opportunity in a few weeks to do what Oregon couldn’t do – defeat Washington. As for this game, ESPN’s Gameday will be on site, adding a layer of excitement & relevance, as if a Top 15 matchup needed extra juice. Before the season I had Oregon ranked 20th & Utah 11th, but that was contingent upon the leadership of QB Cameron Rising. Unfortunately the young man’s recovery from a knee injury has been slower than expected and he’s going to be redshirted. Obviously the home underdogs in this matchup have fared just fine without him, but in a game of this caliber I simply have more confidence in the visiting team’s signal caller, Bo Nix. Zach forsees a shootout, but also has more confidence in Oregon’s offense.

My Pick: Oregon

Zach’s Pick: Oregon

Georgia (-14.5) vs. Florida

It’s a “neutral site” game in Jacksonville, which is about 275 miles closer to Gainesville, FL than Athens, GA. The Bulldogs have been in a couple of competitive games but remain unbeaten, while the Gators are 5-2 and still riding the roller coaster. Is it a trap game for the defending National Champions?? Is the Florida-Georgia line a bit too much?? I say no to both questions. Zach doesn’t believe Georgia is as good as they were the past couple of years, and points out that the absence of tight end Brock Bowers is significant. At the end of the day he thinks they’ll snag another win, but believes Florida will keep it close.

My Pick: Georgia

Zach’s Pick: Florida

NY Jets (-3) vs. NY Giants

It’s the Battle of New York…or New Jersey. Either way, there is no home field advantage. Credit to the Jets for not folding like a cheap suit after Aaron Rodgers went down with an injury less than a minute into the season. At 3-3 they are atleast remaining respectable, although I don’t believe they’ll be a playoff team. Conversely, even though they’ve only won one less game, it already feels like a lost season for the 2-5 Giants. I don’t believe it’ll be a particularly compelling matchup, with the Jets winning by a touchdown. Zach concurs, opining that the game will likely be a snoozefest.

My Pick: NY Jets

Zach’s Pick: NY Jets

Baltimore (-8.5) at Arizona

The 5-2 Ravens lead their division, but have a very small margin of error. The 1-6 Cards may be getting QB Kyler Murray back soon, but not quite yet. Even when that happens I’m not sure it’ll make much of a difference. I thought a few months ago that they’d improve upon last season’s abysmal 4-13 record, but now I’m not confident they’ll reach that goal. As much as I’d love to see Baltimore lose I don’t think that’s what’ll happen. Zach predicts an epic five TD beat down.

My Pick: Baltimore

Zach’s Pick: Baltimore

Las Vegas at Detroit (-8.5)

It seems like some folks might be ready to jump off the Detroit bandwagon after they had their ass handed to them last week, but not me. They still hold a comfortable lead in their division, and we can’t forget the season opening upset of KC. Conversely, the 3-4 Raiders are going nowhere fast. This is Josh McDaniels’ second head coaching gig, and it’s clear that he’s a much better offensive coordinator. In my mind the only question about Monday night is whether or not the Lions will go full throttle enough to cover the points, and ultimately I believe they will. Zach has no hesitation in predicting the home team will win easily.

My Pick: Detroit

Zach’s Pick: Detroit

2022 PIGSKIN PICKS OF PROFUNDITY…WEEK 19

We’re in the home stretch, and there are a few things to consider. My season lead is only two games. Razor thin. Both of us are under .500, and though it won’t be easy finishing above that mark is always a goal. The NFL playoff picture has become pretty clear, though there are a couple of spots up for grabs and seeding to be determined. As always we strive to offer some variety and not pick games involving the same teams every week, but that becomes difficult late on the season since we logically focus on playoff drama. At any rate, Happy New Year Manoverse. I’m not into making resolutions & don’t believe everything is magically different on January 1st than it was on December 31st. However, I do think there’s something to be said for fresh starts & new beginnings. Hope is a powerful thing, so if you’re heading into 2023 with positivity & confidence I wish you all the best. 

My Season: 53-56

Zach’s Season: 51-58

Dallas (-10) at Tennessee 

I really thought the Titans would have double digit victories & win their division comfortably. Instead they are 7-8 and in a dogfight to even make the playoffs. Conversely, the Cowboys are 11-4 & will make the playoffs, though the Eagles will win the division. Tennessee has lost five in a row & QB Ryan Tannehill was lost to an ankle injury a couple of weeks ago, so it’s an uphill climb to be sure. Having said that, I’m not buying what the Cowboys are selling and haven’t since Day 1. They may win the game, but it’ll be a lot closer than the oddsmakers believe. Zach is feeling frisky and has more faith in Dallas QB Dak Prescott than the Titans defense. 

My Pick: Tennessee 

Z’s Pick: Dallas

Jacksonville (-4) at Houston 

No one expected much from either club coming into the season, but the Jags are in the playoff hunt, and despite the Texans probably having a shot at the #1 overall pick in next year’s draft they have become a team no one wants to play after beating Tennessee and giving both Dallas & Kansas City all they could handle. I like the upward trajectory Jacksonville is on their way up, but I don’t believe they’re there quite yet. Houston has embraced the role of spoiler, and I think they’ll get the job done on their home turf. Zach thinks it’ll be close, but believes the visitors will overcome all obstacles late in the second half. 

My Pick: Houston 

Z’s Pick: Jacksonville 

Cleveland at Washington (-2.5)

If the Commanders win their final two games they’ll be in the playoffs. They won’t be mathematically eliminated with a loss, but it would certainly complicate things. Conversely, the 6-9 Browns are exactly who I thought they were. I foresee an easy win for the home team.  Zach concurs. 

My Pick: Washington 

Z’s Pick: Washington 

LA Rams vs. LA Chargers (-6.5)

The Battle of Los Angeles sure would be alot more fun if the Rams were better than 5-10. Meanwhile, the 9-6 Chargers have clinched a wildcard berth. With nothing to play for except pride I think the defending Super Bowl champs will somehow find a way to win. Conversely, Zach thinks the Rams have too many injuries to key personnel to stay competitive. 

My Pick: LA Rams 

Z’s Pick: LA Chargers 

Buffalo (-1) at Cincinnati 

Both teams will playing in the postseason, but that doesn’t mean this game is meaningless. The Bills are battling the Chiefs for the AFC’s top seed & a first round bye, while the Bengals will either win the AFC North or earn a wildcard berth. It’s basically a pick ‘em, and think I like Buffalo given the revenge factor dating back to last years conference title game. Zach boldly predicts a game winning drive led by Joe Burrow, ending with a dramatic score with under a minute remaining. 

My Pick: Buffalo 

Z’s Pick: Cincinnati 

2021 PIGSKIN PICKS OF PROFUNDITY…WEEK 15  

Zach (5-5) bested me (2-8) in last week’s picks of the conference championship games, making a dent in my season lead in the process. I’m below .500 again, although there’s still plenty of football left to be played. We are finished with college football except for the bowl games, which we’ll deal with separately and won’t count as part of these picks. It’s all NFL all the time here for the next month, and I’m going to try not to be redundant in discussing the same teams over & over…but I can’t make any promises. 

My Season: 45-51

Zach’s Season: 37-59

Las Vegas  at Kansas City (-9.5)

It seems like just yesterday everyone was wondering what was wrong with KC, while Vegas was a team on the rise. But now everything is returning back to normal…or is it?? The oddsmakers sure seem to like the Chiefs, which is understandable since they have won five straight games. However, the Raiders are only two games out and certainly find themselves in the thick of the wildcard race. Arrowhead does provide a significant home field advantage, but the points are just too much for my taste. The Chiefs won’t win by more than a touchdown. Conversely, Zach sees two teams heading in opposite directions and thinks KC won’t have any issues covering. 

My Pick: Las Vegas

Z’s Pick: Kansas City 

Baltimore at Cleveland (-2.5)

The AFC North is playing out pretty much as I expected, which is good because that means our Steelers still have a postseason opportunity in front of them. I know the Browns have the home field, but I’m still a little surprised they are favored. That doesn’t say as much about any legit love the powers-that-be have for them as much as it shows a lack of respect for the Ravens. Zach doesn’t have any faith in the home team’s defense or their ability to stop QB Lamar Jackson.

My Pick: Cleveland 

Z’s Pick: Baltimore 

Dallas (-4) at Washington

These teams meet twice in the next three weeks. It’d be great if the Redskins would sweep, but I’m not counting on that. However, I believe they might pull off the upset at home. Zach foresees a fun & competitive game that’ll be close into the 4th quarter, but he thinks the visitors have what it takes to get the victory. 

My Pick: Washington

Z’s Pick: Dallas 

Chicago at Green Bay (-12.5)

The Bears are 4-8, but after missing the past two games with a rib injury rookie QB Justin Fields is back under center this week. Green Bay is 9-3 and has the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field in their favor. This is the Sunday night game on NBC and I fully expect the Packers to win, but by how much?? I feel as if it’ll be more like 10-ish points. Zach, on the other hand, believes Green Bay might pull off a four TD beatdown. 

My Pick: Chicago

Z’s Pick: Green Bay 

LA Rams at Arizona (-3)

The first time these teams met in early October the Cardinals scored an impressive 17 point victory. This time they are at home and playing on Monday Night Football. Will the results be any different?? I don’t think so. Zach has a lot more faith in the new look Rams defense and thinks they’ll do enough to slow down Cards’ QB Kyler Murray. 

My Pick: Arizona 

Z’s Pick: LA Rams 

2021 PIGSKIN PICKS OF PROFUNDITY…WEEK 6

Frustrating. That’s the word I’d use to describe the football season thus far. Both my WV Mountaineers and alma mater’s Marshall Thundering Herd have struggled. My five fantasy teams are a combined 4-16. In hindsight both my NFL Preview & preseason poll were way off base. My picks here haven’t gone well at all. Obviously in the grand scheme of life none of it is important, but as a lifelong football fan I pride myself on a certain level of insight about the game, and not knowing diddly squat this year is…unpleasant. At any rate, both myself & Zach were 3-5 last week, so we’ll try to do better. I suppose we can’t do much worse. 

My Season: 14-20

Zach’s Season: 13-21

Oklahoma (-3.5) vs. Texas

The talking heads won’t call it the Red River Shootout anymore, but I still do. The Sooners are 5-0, but haven’t really been blowing anyone away. QB Spencer Rattler is no longer a Heisman favorite, although the team is still in playoff contention. The Longhorns are 4-1 and no one is really talking about them. Can they change that?? As always this is a neutral site game being played in Dallas, and ESPN College Gameday will be on the scene. The Vibes are speaking to me, so I’m picking an upset that shouldn’t surprise anyone who has really been paying attention. The SEC would then have a clear path to putting two teams in the playoff. Zach isn’t sold on Oklahoma and likes new Texas QB Casey Thompson, so he too is thinking upset. 

My Pick: Texas 

Z’s Pick: Texas

Utah at USC (-3.5)

I’m going to give y’all a little inside information. I don’t have much of a life. No wife or girlfriend. No kids. Not much money. I haven’t been a party animal for many years. So on crisp autumn Saturday nights, while others may be doing cool stuff like bonfires or something involving flannel & pumpkin spice, I’m curled up in front of the TV watching college football. And since I’m a night owl I love it when there are compelling west coast games. It’s even better when I have a stake in the outcome, which is why you oftentimes see such matchups here. The Utes are 2-2, and most probably expected better. That triple OT loss to San Diego St. had to sting. Meanwhile, the Trojans are 3-2 and already made a coaching change. This game will set the tone for both teams for the remainder of the season, so it’s pretty big. I know the favorites have the home field, but I smell an upset brewing. Zach believes both clubs are mediocre at best, but he likes the home team to win a close one.

My Pick: Utah 

Z’s Pick: USC

UCLA (-16) at Arizona

College football is just better when the PAC 12 is deep & competitive, and as much as I love underdogs I must admit it’s also more interesting when traditional powers like UCLA are winning games. The Bruins are 3-2 and look like they’re going to have an up & down, inconsistent season. Conversely, the Wildcats are quite consistent. At 0-4 they have been consistently bad. There’s no doubt that the favorites will win the game, but can Arizona muster enough moxy to not get blown out on their home field?? I think maybe they can. Zach really likes Bruins’ RB Zach Charbonnet, a Michigan transfer. He’s a little concerned about the points, but all in on UCLA winning big.

My Pick: Arizona 

Z’s Pick: UCLA

Penn St. at Iowa (-2)

I’m not sure anyone would have predicted a month ago that this would be a battle of two undefeated Top 5 teams, but that’s how things have shaken out. The winner isn’t guaranteed anything since Ohio St. & Michigan are still in the picture, but a victory sure wouldn’t hurt. This is a 4pm start on Fox, which means Gus Johnson will probably be doing play-by-play, and that dude could make paint drying or ice melting into an event. The Hawkeyes get the requisite home field bump, but essentially it’s a pick ‘em, and I think the Nittany Lions have more big play potential. Conversely, Zach believes the home field advantage at Kinnick Stadium is among the best in the nation and will contribute to the Hawkeyes grabbing a thrilling victory. 

My Pick: Penn St. 

Z’s Pick: Iowa 

Cleveland at LA Chargers (even)

As much as I hate to admit it the Browns look like they might live up to the hype. Maybe. At 3-1 they are in a logjam atop the AFC North, so this could be a rather important contest when it comes to playoffs, wild cards, and such. The 3-1 Chargers also find themselves tied for the lead in their division, though they’ve already beaten both the Chiefs & the Raiders. I haven’t gotten a lot right so far when it comes to my preseason prognostications, but the Chargers winning the AFC West is starting to look legit. I have to go with the home team in this one, because I just think Justin Herbert is a better quarterback than Baker Mayfield. Zach concurs. 

My Pick: Los Angeles 

Z’s Pick: Los Angeles 

Buffalo at Kansas City (-3)

It’s going down at Arrowhead!! Look, KC hasn’t been as elite as usual in losses to Baltimore & the LA Chargers, but they’re still a dangerous playoff contender that absolutely no one wants to play. Having said that, Buffalo is the better team right now, with an inexplicable season opening loss to my fading Steelers being the only blemish on their record. This is the Sunday night game, and I know I’ll be glued to the television. I think the home field is huge in this one, so I have to believe the Chiefs will win by a touchdown. Zach, on the other hand, is boldly predicting a huge statement win for the Bills. 

My Pick: Kansas City 

Z’s Pick: Buffalo 

Indianapolis at Baltimore (-7)

Full disclosure…this game is on the docket because WWE wrasslin’ has been a real snoozefest lately and I like to have a reason to be invested in Monday Night Football. On paper Baltimore looks like the clear cut superior team. Injuries have torpedoed Indy’s season, although there is still time to rebound. If QB Carson Wentz can remain healthy 😬 he atleast gives his team a fighting chance, which is what I’m counting on. I’m not sure if the Colts can pull off the outright upset, but I think they can keep it close. Zach is a little concerned about the points so he’s on the same page. 

My Pick: Indianapolis 

Z’s Pick: Indianapolis