So, we both broke even last week, and to be honest the slate of games turned out to be underwhelming at best, soul crushingly fraudulent at worst. As a lifelong sports fan I have to wonder if anything we’ve EVER seen is real. Perhaps the 1919 Black Sox scandal has always been the norm and all of Belichick’s cheating with the Patriots was business as usual. As a longtime pro wrestling enthusiast I’ve received plenty of grief from people who view it as “not a real sport” because it is scripted and the outcomes are predetermined, but maybe the wrestling industry deserves credit for admitting that fact, while other sports are laughing at all the morons who’ve been convinced the games we watch are legitimate competition. Anyway, the entertainment value of college football will improve once all of these cupcake matchups, in which a clearly inferior opponent gladly accepts millions of dollars in exchange for getting their ass whipped, are done and conference play begins. This week though, we have different fish to fry. The NFL enters the chat on Wednesday night (an odd choice 🤔), and of course every team in the league begins with cockeyed optimism. Isn’t it interesting to consider that there are teams that see themselves as legit Super Bowl contenders in the latter days of summer who will end up with Top 5 picks in the NFL Draft in eight months?? All the while, perhaps there are people at the top of the food chain who already know how the season will end.

My Season: 6-9

Zach’s Season: 5-10

Arizona State at Texas A&M (-14)

I ventured out on a limb, ranking the Sun Devils in the preseason despite a bunch of changes, most notably at quarterback. I don’t know how much we can glean from their nine TD destruction of FBS opponent Morgan St. in the season opener. Ditto for the Aggies fifty point victory over an FBS foe. The “12th Man” home field in College Station is legendary, and obviously the oddsmakers are feeling a certain way. However, I don’t shy away from debatable decisions. I don’t know if ASU has the juice for an outright upset, but I believe they’ll make things interesting. Conversely, Zach foresees A&M pulling away in the fourth quarter to secure a comfortable two TD victory.

My Pick: Arizona St.

Zach’s Pick: Texas A&M

Ohio State at Texas (-1.5)

A year ago Texas was the predominant preseason #1, but the Buckeyes defended their home field in a hard fought battle. Now the roles have reversed, with Ohio St. being the top ranked team and the Longhorns enjoying home field advantage. Three players…OSU quarterback Julian Sayin & WR Jeremiah Smith and Texas QB Arch Manning…are serious Heisman contenders who could all end up being first round draft picks next spring. They’ll get their stats, which means the defense that kicks it up a notch and makes a big play or two in the 4th quarter will make the difference. Notorious Buckeye hater Zach obviously disagrees.

My Pick: Ohio St.

Zach’s Pick: Texas

New England at Seattle (-3.5)

It’s a Super Bowl rematch. You’ll recall that the Seahawks defeated the Patriots 29-13 in Super Bowl LX, led by one of the best defenses in the NFL. However, in the offseason Seattle lost a few starters from that defense, as well as Super Bowl MVP running back Kenneth Walker III and offensive coordinator Klint Kubiak. The Patriots have had some roster turnover as well, but their offseason was dominated by head coach Mike Vrabel’s…personal drama. I will forever be a Pats hater for a variety of reasons, but just don’t believe Seattle can sustain last year’s success. Very few Super Bowl champions do. Conversely, no matter how one may feel about Vrabel, none of that mishigas will matter on the field. Zach has much more faith in Seattle’s ability to repeat, and believes they’ll win the opener by ten points. It’s an 8pm Wednesday kickoff on NBC, which is cool because Wednesday nights are usually so damn tedious.

My Pick: New England

Zach’s Pick: Seattle

San Francisco at LA Rams (-2.5)

The Rams enter the season as heavy Super Bowl favorites, but they’ll need to prove it on the field. Last season they had a Top Ten defense, then traded for Myles Garrett and convinced Aaron Donald to unretire. Can 38 year old QB Matthew Stafford approach last year’s 46 TDs & 4700 passing yards?? Expectations are high indeed. Meanwhile, the Niners are coming off a 12-5 season and a second round playoff loss to the eventual champion Seahawks. They added veterans Mike Evans & Christian Kirk to the receiving corps, and procured young depth pieces in the draft. ‘Frisco’s issue seems to be remaining healthy, and they’ve already lost receiver Ricky Pearsall to a knee injury. It’s a Thursday night kickoff from Melbourne, Australia, airing on Netflix. I don’t believe the game will be particularly close, and though Zach thinks it’ll be more competitive than I do, he agrees on the outcome.

My Pick: LA Rams

Zach’s Pick: LA Rams 

Baltimore (-3.5) at Indianapolis

There’s been a coaching change in Baltimore, with former Chargers defensive coordinator Jesse Minter taking the reins. Let’s not forget that Minter previously served as the Ravens DB coach a few years ago. The roster retained key pieces like QB Lamar Jackson, RB Derrick Henry, and a veteran secondary while adding defensive tackle Trey Hendrickson and tweaking the offensive line a bit. The Colts got off to a hot start a season ago before falling apart down the stretch. Can QB Daniel Jones rebound from an Achilles injury and return to the form he showed in the first half of last season?? Will a defense in transition rise from the bottom third of the league?? I believe both teams will struggle this year, but Indy will prevail this week. Conversely, Zach thinks Jackson will have a huge day against that mediocre Colts defense.

My Pick: Indianapolis

Zach’s Pick: Baltimore

Buffalo (-1.5) at Houston

The Bills fired head coach Sean McDermott after a string of playoff disappointments, despite winning 66% of his games in nine seasons. Time will tell if that was a wise decision. They made some sneaky good roster moves, and as long as their Top Ten defense holds up and QB Josh Allen is behind center there is reason for optimism. Meanwhile, the Texans had the best defense in the league last year but struggled in the first half of the season, ultimately losing in the second round of the playoffs for the second consecutive year. Quarterback CJ Stroud seemed to regress a bit and needs a great rebound season. I believe Buffalo will take a step back this year, while Houston shows incremental improvement. I like the underdogs to defend their home turf. Zach doesn’t see Buffalo’s coaching change as negative and has faith in Allen to keep the train rolling.

My Pick: Houston

Zach’s Pick: Buffalo

Denver at Kansas City (-2.5)

Monday Night Football begins their season with a banger. The Broncos won the AFC West last year and might have played in the Super Bowl if QB Bo Nix hadn’t suffered a broken ankle at the end of a playoff victory. Conversely, the once mighty Chiefs missed the postseason for the first time in a decade, and QB Patrick Mahomes went down with a torn ACL. However, let’s not lose sight of the fact that KC was 6-7 before Mahomes’ injury. I’m no doctor, but have doubts about the prudence of returning from knee surgery in less than nine months. It’s not that I think the home favorites will be a bad team, but I believe the visiting underdogs are clearly better right now. Zach concurs.

My Pick: Denver

Zach’s Pick: Denver