Rush Limbaugh

Random Thoughts 14

I’m pretty much completely off the Letterman bandwagon. I’d already begun to sour on him over the past few years because of his increasingly bitter and jaded schtick (and it has to be bad for me to be turned off because I do bitter and jaded pretty well myself) as well as his turn toward the hard left. Then the whole Sarah Palin incident happened and that was a real head scratcher. Now news of Dave’s numerous trysts with female staffers and the ensuing extortion stemming from those infidelities is being treated as one big joke. I am far from a prude, but it’s all just too much. I watch my late night shows to laugh and be entertained, not to be taken on a reality roller coaster ride.

Baseball’s final four…..New York Yankees, LA Angels, Philadelphia Phillies, LA Dodgers. What a God awful end of the season. I have absolutely zero interest in any of these teams. I won’t watch a single inning of any of the last three series. Will someone PLEASE buy the Pittsburgh Pirates and make them relevant again?!?!?

Congratulations to the city of Rio de Janeiro for procuring the 2016 Olympics. Unfortunately Rio’s victory comes at the expense of Chicago. I guess the committee decided that the athletes couldn’t compete effectively while wearing bullet proof vests.

I am hearing that the winter of 2009-10 will be the worst in 60 years, one that “you’ll tell your grandkids about”. I really hope that doesn’t prove to be true.

Apparently a reboot of the Vacation movie franchise is in the works, this time with Rusty Griswold as the bumbling patriarch of his own family. Now I LOVE the original Vacation and, because of my deep affection for Christmas films, absolutely adore Christmas Vacation. European Vacation and Vegas Vacation…..ehhh, not so much. If this next sequel actually occurs I really hope it is good and worthy of its heritage, but that will only happen if a few things occur. First of all, Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo must appear as Clark & Ellen Griswold, even if it is only a token cameo. Secondly, the original Rusty, Anthony Michael Hall, must must must be signed to star. There have been four different Rustys, but the original was the best and really the only one who most would buy as a father. And finally…and this is more of a generality…the writing must be funny and original. Amusing references and homages to the other movies in the series are fine, but it won’t work if it’s just Rusty repeating the same gags that his father did two decades ago.

Farewell Saturn…the car, not the planet.

Sooooooo…..according to out of touch Hollywood elitists director Roman Polanski should be let off the hook for raping a 13 year old girl because he has been rich enough to elude the police for 30 years and because he happened to direct some decent films. Yep, that makes perfect sense. Idiots.

RIP Captain Lou Albano, one of the most memorable pro wrestling personalities of all time.

The pre-emptive ouster of Rush Limbaugh as a perspective NFL owner is more than unfortunate…it’s racially motivated. The media and the powers-that-be in the NFL are more willing to listen to twits like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, who have proven to be divisive and fraudulent, than a man who has 20 million listeners every week (equal to the most popular shows on television). The NFL is chock full of thugs who’ve done everything from drive drunk to possess firearms to beat their wives, yet somehow Rush isn’t good enough to be a minority (pardon the pun) owner?? That’s such a load of PC hogwash. Assclowns like Al Davis, Jerry Jones, and Daniel Snyder are allowed to own teams yet Rush is deemed inappropriate?? Unbelievable.

Random Thoughts 5

I suspect one of the most satisfied men on the planet right now is American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert. He gets all the fame and adulation and other benefits without the oppressive obligations and contractual entanglements that seem to coincide with actually winning the competition.

 

As a long time Sherlock Holmes fan I have a bad vibe that the Holmes film starring Robert Downey Jr. that’ll be released later this year might really really suck. There’s no denying that Downey is a brilliant performer, but is he miscast as the world’s foremost amateur detective?? And director Guy Ritchie…most famous for marrying Madonna (therefore legitimately bringing his taste and judgment into question)…doesn’t exactly have a great track record. Plus, translating great literature onto the big screen is thorny territory to say the least. Sometimes it turns out really well…..The Lord of the Rings trilogy, To Kill A Mockingbird, Gone With the Wind, The Godfather, almost any version of A Christmas Carol, Of Mice & Men (a wonderful 1992 remake starring Gary Sinise and John Malkovich). Other times it, to say the least, does not…..Romeo & Juliet (the 1996 version with Leo DiCaprio and Claire Danes), 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, The Three Musketeers, Left Behind, almost everything Dickensian except the aforementioned A Christmas Carol. I will reserve final opinion until I actually see the film…I’m just saying my expectations aren’t high.

 

I was in a restaurant recently and, after dinner, asked about dessert. One available item was bananas foster, but the waiter said that they weren’t actually allowed to flambé the dish tableside. I ordered something else because really, what’s the point of bananas foster without the flames??

 

Kanye West is a moronic jackass.

 

It doesn’t seem like all that long ago that a comment like “you’re Mom is kinda hot” would run across my mind and it’d be wrong. Now the bad thoughts are more like “you’re daughter is pretty cute”…and it’s even more wrong.

 

Will someone please explain to me the hatred of Rush Limbaugh?? I realize that we are a nation of diverse sociopolitical opinions and spiritual beliefs. I have no issue with disagreement and debate. But when I compare the left-biased public perception of Rush with what he actually says and does the fanatical loathing of the masses just doesn’t compute. The man is forthright and unapologetic, there’s no denying that. Maybe he scares people because he says the things others are afraid to say even if they are thinking them. Maybe he scares the opposition because he’s so right much of the time. However…is he offensive, racist, mean-spirited, and hateful?? No one who truly listens to Rush’s show can be intellectually honest and say that he is any of those things.

The Godfather of Cyberspace’s 35 Undeniable Truths of Life

(Originally published 12/19/2007)

Back in 1988 The Godfather of Talk Radio, Rush Limbaugh, published his 35 Undeniable Truths of Life. A few years later he did a revised list since many of the originals had to do with communism, The Soviet Union, & other outdated concepts. Now, here, in the Year of Our Lord 2007, The Godfather of Cyberspace humbly presents my own list of The 35 Undeniable Truths of Life:

 

 

1. Jesus said “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God” (John 3:3), “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6) , and “this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent” (John 17:3).

 

2. Never put anyone on a pedestal…they will eventually come crashing down.

 

3. The most overrated sports dynasties are Notre Dame football and the New York Yankees.

 

4. Nothing is more important than family…never take sides against the family…never let anyone outside the family know what you are thinking.

 

5. “Look thou character
Give thy thoughts no tongue, nor any unproportioned thought his act
Be familiar, but by no means vulgar
Those friends thou have, and their adoption tried, grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment of each new-hatched, unfledged comrade
Beware of entrance to a quarrel but, being in, bear it that the opposed may beware of thee
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice
Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgement
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy, but not expressed in fancy – rich, not gaudy
For the apparel oft proclaims the man
Neither a borrower nor a lender be
For loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry
This above all: to thine own self be true
And it must follow, as the night the day, thou cannot then be false to any man”
– Shakespeare’s Hamlet

 

6. If you work on weekends then you are not at the top of your chosen profession. (notable exceptions: the clergy and sports)

 

7. Disappointment is the worst emotion, as it is a blend of both anger and sadness.

 

8. Faith and religion are two different things. Religion is a public show too often put on by hypocrites, while faith is a deeply personal thing that can change your life. Share your faith, not your religion.

 

9. Rap is not music. Poetry maybe. But not music.

 

10. Perception is reality & reality is perception.

 

11. When in doubt, atleast act like you know what you are doing.

 

12. Anyone who doesn’t shed a tear during the last 10 minutes of Field of Dreams doesn’t have a heart.

 

13. Don’t be sad because it’s over, be happy it happened in the first place.

 

14. Abortion is wrong and capital punishment is right. This makes perfect sense.

 

15. “It’s not what you know but who you know” is just as true as it ever was.

 

16. Guns don’t kill people…evil, crazy, stupid people kill people (sometimes with a gun).

 

17. Music makes our world a better place.

 

18. Freedom of religion has been hijacked to mean freedom from religion, which was not the intent of our Founding Fathers.

 

19. Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons
Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others – even the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit
If you compare yourself with others you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans
Keep interested in your own career, however humble, it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time
Exercise caution in your business affairs for the world is full of trickery
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is
Many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of heroism
Be yourself
Especially, do not feign affection, neither be cynical about love
For in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself
Be at peace with God
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world
Be cheerful
Strive to be happy
-The Desiderata

 

20. Milk is the universal beverage, going well with almost all meals and nearly any type of food.

 

21. Timing is everything and hindsight is 20/20. Looking back, we can all see situations, great & small, where a seemingly insignificant shift of time (a few minutes, a day or two, a month) made a notable difference.

 

22. It’s always about the money. Always.

 

23. The wussification of America, in which overly sensitive followers of political correctness have turned our nation into the United States of The Offended, is very real and very disturbing.

 

24. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely.

 

25. There are three sides to every story – the two conflicting views of the parties involved, and somewhere in the middle is the truth.

 

26. Creationism and evolution don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

 

27. To laugh often and much
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends
To appreciate beauty
To find the best in others
To leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a redeemed social condition, or a job well done
To know that even one other life has breathed because you lived
This is to have succeeded
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

28. There are three answers to a prayer: yes, no, & not right now.

 

29. Anyone who says they’ve never contemplated suicide, even if only very briefly, is either very fortunate or a liar.

 

30. If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise
If you can dream but not make dreams your master
If you can think but not make thoughts your aim
If you can meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two impostors just the same
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, and stoop and build them up with worn-out tools
If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss
And lose, and start again at your beginnings and never breathe a word about your loss
If you can force your heart and nerve and muscle to serve your turn long after they are gone
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue or walk with kings and not lose the common touch
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you
If people count on you, but none too much
If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds’ worth of distance run
Yours is the earth and everything that’s in it
And, which is more, you’ll be a man, my son
-Rudyard Kipling

 

31. Cigarettes & multiple tattoos/piercings decrease a woman’s attractiveness by atleast 50%.

 

32. There really is no place like home.

 

33. Don’t ever pray for patience, lest God give you plenty of opportunities to learn your lesson.

 

34. Life is a lot like the Tom Hanks movie Cast Away. It’s really just you, alone on an island, struggling against the elements. There may be many people in your life, but almost all are like the soccer ball Wilson…they keep you company and give you someone to talk to, but in the end they’re fake, full of hot air, and float away. In matters of survival (food, shelter, etc.) you can only really count on yourself.

 

35. If you think you are beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you like to win, but you think you can’t, it is almost certain you won’t
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost
For out of the world we find success begins with a fellow’s will
It’s all in the state of mind
If you think you are outclassed, you are
You’ve got to think high to rise
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before you can ever win a prize
Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man
But sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can
— Unknown

 

 

 

 

Random Thoughts 4

The Pittsburgh Pirates have resumed residence in their familiar place, the cellar. That didn’t take long.

 

“The proportion of GM cars sold domestically and manufactured in those low-wage countries (Mexico, China, South Korea) will rise from 15 percent to 23 percent over the next five years, according to the figures contained in a 12-page presentation offered to lawmakers in response to their questions about overseas production.”


“General Motors is open to considering moving its headquarters from Detroit, selling off U.S. plants and even renegotiating parts of its restructuring plan with its major union.”

So….the bailout is going well I see. Idiots.

 

 

Note to Wanda Sykes: Being a minority trifecta (black, female, gay) and loud & obnoxious does not equal funny. Let’s face it, if she were a straight white man she’d be asking people if they want fries with that instead of getting a chance to perform for The President and wish Rush Limbaugh would die from kidney disease.

 

 

The new Star Trek film won’t make my list of Top 100 Movies at this time. I refuse to make snap judgments based on only one viewing. However, it is a spectacular movie…well written, lots of action, and spot on representations of familiar characters. The casting director deserves a medal.

 

 

Manny Ramirez. Moron.

 

 

I’m not a fan of meaningless apologies. I think it was Clinton that made a big deal about apologizing for slavery. Apologize to who? The people directly affected died 150 years ago. Recently some Jewish folks got themselves in an uproar because the Pope (who just so happens to be German) failed to apologize for The Holocaust during a visit to a Holocaust memorial. In the United States a person can lessen their prison sentence (and do some quality PR if they’re famous) by showing contrition. It’s all a bunch of politically correct superfluousness.

 

 

Word has it that 75 year old Shirley Jones…..of Partridge Family fame (and mother to Shaun Cassidy and stepmother of David Cassidy, both 70’s teen heartthrobs)…..may pose nude for Playboy. May I be the first to say “EWWWWWWWWW”.

 

 

President Obama still has a 66% approval rating. Why?? As previously noted, the bailout not only is a bad idea but it is NOT WORKING.