Adam Lambert

The Sammy Claus Wish List

Being Sammy Claus is kind of like being Frank Sinatra Jr. or the Vice-President…it’s a nice name that wields no real authority. However, in hopes that the real Santa may take a break from supervising the elves and doing important flight prep by surfing The Internet and being a faithful reader of The Manofesto, I have prepared my own list. Go ahead Big Guy…check it twice, verify who has been naughty or nice. But I am pretty sure my own reconnaissance has been thorough and you’ll find everything here in order. And since it is better to give than to receive (Acts 20:35) I am not asking for anything myself…well, atleast not much. My focus here is on the needs and desires of others.

 

The Marshall Thundering Herd…..a new football coach that will lead my alma mater’s gladiators of the gridiron back to the success we had in the 1990’s. I grant you there was some good fortune back then with future NFL players Chad Pennington, Troy Brown, Randy Moss, and Byron Leftwich…and there may have even been some minor cheating. But there’s nothing that says that level of achievement cannot be attained again and more future pro caliber players can’t make a stop in Huntington.


John & Kate and Heidi & Spencer…..sterility and a complete lack of media coverage


The Economy…..tax cuts & job growth. I know it’s a long shot with a socialist President and a liberal Congress, but we’ll deal with those issues in the coming years.


Kanye West…..the most spectacular career crash and burn of all time!!


The WV Mountaineers…..a new special teams coach. I have softened my stance on canning head coach Bill Stewart, but Stew doubles as the special teams coach and it hasn’t worked. A 9-3 finish was surprisingly decent given the lack of energy, skill, and discipline shown at times this season, but a few special teams plays probably cost the Eers atleast 1, possibly 2 additional victories.


The Republican Party…..a triumphant return to conservative values and the emergence of a formidable group of candidates for the 2012 Presidential campaign. Unfortunately I am not talking about Sarah Palin, who is damaged goods and I believe unelectable.


Adam Lambert…..irrelevance. Really dude, get the hell off my TV.


Myself, The Owl, Greg, Sealey, and Slack…..a memorable and dare I say legen…wait for it…wait for it…dary trip to Vegas this summer. This is the year gentlemen. Seriously…I mean it this time!!


Ford Motor Company…..continued success as a non-government run business


Michael Jackson’s children…..a happy, healthy, normal life while enjoying the boatload of cash your freak of a father left you


Carrie Underwood…..the love of a good man…a man that is single, has his own blog, and lives in northcentral WV. Call me. Please.


Algore…..complete , irrefutable, 100% proof that global warming is poppycock


Susan Boyle…..a musical repertoire that goes beyond I Dreamed A Dream


Coach Rich Fraudriguez…..continued ineptitude and complete failure not only at Michigan but wherever you go and in whatever you do professionally and personally. You are the lowest form of excrement the human race has ever produced and not worthy of sharing the same oxygen as even the most vile and wicked piece of dung imaginable.


Universal Health Care…..complete and total defeat


Tiger Woods…..a case of condoms, a good lawyer, and a full time chauffeur


David Letterman…..cancellation


Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi…..facial movement. Seriously lady, lay off the botox.


Tim Tebow, soon-to-be former Florida Gators QB…..a case of tissues, because the crying will likely continue at the NFL Draft and on into your rookie season there when you figure out you’re really not THAT good (as if Alabama didn’t drive that point home already)


Jay Leno…..better ratings


Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, & Glen Beck…..continued success teaching the masses about conservatism


Phil Mickelson…..success in overtaking that dirtbag Tiger Woods as the worlds #1 golfer

Random Thoughts 7

“Edward E. Whitacre Jr. built AT&T Inc. into the biggest U.S. provider of telephone service over a 43-year-career. By his own admission, he becomes chairman of General Motors Corp. knowing nothing about the auto industry. “I don’t know anything about cars,” Whitacre, 67, said in an interview after his appointment.” Well that’s comforting.

 

It’s become clear that the only thing that Dale Earnhardt Jr. shares with his legendary late father is the name. Little of the talent, toughness, and skill were passed on, no matter how much others are blamed and made to fall on the sword.

 

After more than three decades I’ve finally developed an affinity for popcorn.

 

Despite the fact that he’s a raging lib, I actually enjoy Bill Maher’s show. I don’t agree with the guy but he’s funny. However on a recent episode he and his panel were seriously lamenting the fact that, in their opinions, President Hussein Obama seems to be holding back. Essentially they were calling for him to be more radical. It was stunning.

 

Bret Favre needs to just let it go.

 

I was having a bad day recently and made the mistake of making it known in a public forum. One response was a call for “tough love”. I don’t understand that logic. Someone is down in the dumps and the prescription is to be harsh to them, to get their attention and get them to snap out of it?? I get the concept in certain situations…..if the person is a drug addict or criminal or is exhibiting some other form of destructive behavior. But it’s quite an inappropriate reaction when the person is legitimately depressed. All it did was make me angry and feel worse.

 

American Idol runner up Adam Lambert has come out of the closet. What a shock. Somewhere Ryan Seacrest just passed out.

 

Which reminds me….In response to a Facebook survey question on gay marriage I quoted scripture (Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, 1st Corinthians 6:9-10, Romans 1:26-28) that clearly expresses God’s opinion on the subject. In return I was referred to (indirectly) as a “religioso” who’d “gone off my rocker”. That’s cool. That guy will be burning in Hell while I’m walking streets of gold wrapped in the loving embrace of my Father.

 

I really hope former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich makes a run for the White House in 2012. There was a time that I thought maybe Newt was better as a behind the scenes power broker, but now it seems as if he might be the unifying voice we need to properly articulate the cause of conservatism.

 

“Former sitcom star John Stamos confesses that he’s conceptualizing a Full House feature film. “I’m working on a movie idea, but it wouldn’t be us playing us,” he told us. “I’m not 100% sure, but it would probably take place in the first few years” of the 1987-95 series.The former “ER” doc votes for James Franco to reprise Stamos’ role as Jesse Katsopolis. “I see Steve Carell as Danny Tanner and Tracy Morgan as Joey Gladstone because he’s funny,” he added.” Let the countdown begin.

 

The Brownie Batter Blizzard at Dairy Queen is quite tasty.

 

Michelle Obama. You can take the girl outta the ghetto, but you can’t take the ghetto outta the girl.

Random Thoughts 5

I suspect one of the most satisfied men on the planet right now is American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert. He gets all the fame and adulation and other benefits without the oppressive obligations and contractual entanglements that seem to coincide with actually winning the competition.

 

As a long time Sherlock Holmes fan I have a bad vibe that the Holmes film starring Robert Downey Jr. that’ll be released later this year might really really suck. There’s no denying that Downey is a brilliant performer, but is he miscast as the world’s foremost amateur detective?? And director Guy Ritchie…most famous for marrying Madonna (therefore legitimately bringing his taste and judgment into question)…doesn’t exactly have a great track record. Plus, translating great literature onto the big screen is thorny territory to say the least. Sometimes it turns out really well…..The Lord of the Rings trilogy, To Kill A Mockingbird, Gone With the Wind, The Godfather, almost any version of A Christmas Carol, Of Mice & Men (a wonderful 1992 remake starring Gary Sinise and John Malkovich). Other times it, to say the least, does not…..Romeo & Juliet (the 1996 version with Leo DiCaprio and Claire Danes), 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, The Three Musketeers, Left Behind, almost everything Dickensian except the aforementioned A Christmas Carol. I will reserve final opinion until I actually see the film…I’m just saying my expectations aren’t high.

 

I was in a restaurant recently and, after dinner, asked about dessert. One available item was bananas foster, but the waiter said that they weren’t actually allowed to flambé the dish tableside. I ordered something else because really, what’s the point of bananas foster without the flames??

 

Kanye West is a moronic jackass.

 

It doesn’t seem like all that long ago that a comment like “you’re Mom is kinda hot” would run across my mind and it’d be wrong. Now the bad thoughts are more like “you’re daughter is pretty cute”…and it’s even more wrong.

 

Will someone please explain to me the hatred of Rush Limbaugh?? I realize that we are a nation of diverse sociopolitical opinions and spiritual beliefs. I have no issue with disagreement and debate. But when I compare the left-biased public perception of Rush with what he actually says and does the fanatical loathing of the masses just doesn’t compute. The man is forthright and unapologetic, there’s no denying that. Maybe he scares people because he says the things others are afraid to say even if they are thinking them. Maybe he scares the opposition because he’s so right much of the time. However…is he offensive, racist, mean-spirited, and hateful?? No one who truly listens to Rush’s show can be intellectually honest and say that he is any of those things.