If you have not perused Part 1 please take a moment to do so…otherwise you’ll be thoroughly confused.

I recently attended my 100th show at the lovely Robinson Grand Performing Arts Center in downtown Clarksburg, WV since its reopening in 2018. When I was a kid in the late 70s/early 80s The RG was a movie theater. Unlike other folks I don’t have any definitive recollection of movies I saw there, although I know that I did go there for things. Unfortunately, because the interstate highway was built going thru the next town over in our county, our area’s shopping mall was built there, as well as everything else in the last four decades. Clarksburg has withered on the vine, except that we still had this perfectly lovely theater slowly crumbling right in the middle of town. Thankfully a movement arose to renovate The RG, which is atleast one thing that’s gone right for our little hamlet. My humble abode just happens to be right down the street, I don’t have children or a special lady, traveling is difficult on multiple levels, I’m not a barfly, and I have alot more acquaintances than friends…so The Robinson Grand is where I choose to spend my meager discretionary income. I don’t expect anyone to really give a damn about these reflections, but it’s been a fun trip down memory lane for me.

10 Beginnings: The Ultimate Tribute to Chicago – May 2019

Sail On: The Beach Boys Tribute – August 2021

Winter Beach Blast w/ Bluffett (Jimmy Buffett Tribute) – January 2023

The Hair Band Experience – February 2024

The Best of Styx & Journey – April 2024

There have been two Chicago tributes at The RG, but the first one was the better show. The horn section is incredible. I’ve always enjoyed The Beach Boys to a degree, but on this Sunday evening I was surprised at the absolute delight I felt sitting there enjoying the music. You can’t possibly listen to The Beach Boys for very long and be in a bad mood. Sadly I never got the opportunity to see the real Jimmy Buffett in concert, but once upon a time I was a drunken frat boy and his music was an integral part of the zeitgeist. The RG did it right, with a VIP Package that included tasty vittles (including cheeseburgers & beer, obviously), while the show itself was high energy, including giant beach balls bouncing thru the theater. The Hair Band Experience was three tributes in one night: Poison, Def Leppard, and Bon Jovi. So much fun for a child of the 80s. Recency bias makes me reluctant to include the Styx/Journey tribute, but the Journey band in particular was so damn good I cannot overlook it.

9 Once – November 2019

Stomp – November 2021

Buddy: The Buddy Holly Story – November 2022

On Your Feet: Gloria Estefan Musical – April 2023

If you’d have told me six years ago that I would have the opportunity to see Broadway shows without driving hundreds of miles away I would not have believed you. To be clear, The RG is a smaller theater with about 1000 seats. We’re not going to see Phantom of the Opera or Hamilton here. However, the venue is perfect for what are referred to as jukebox musicals or other minimalist productions.

8 Mountain Stage – August 2023

Since 1983 WV Public Broadcasting & NPR have partnered to produce a weekly radio show featuring live music from a variety of genres. Some pretty big names have appeared on Mountain Stage. R.E.M. Bruce Hornsby. Tori Amos. Toad the Wet Sprocket. Martina McBride. Sarah McLachlan. Norah Jones. Crash Test Dummies. Barenaked Ladies. Counting Crows. Phish. It’s neat to be part of the audience and watch the show being produced. Mountain Stage will be returning to The RG later this summer.

7 Take3 – March 2024

While The RG has really leaned into the whole tribute band thing (which I understand and take no issue with) I appreciate efforts to think outside the box. Take3 is a trio of classically trained women who perform a fusion of rock, pop, and classical music using a piano, violin, & cello. I played trombone in the school band for seven years and never possessed a fraction of the talent these ladies have.

6 White Christmas – December 2021 & 2023

Feast of the Seven Fishes – December 2022

The RG has shown old movies with some frequency thru the years, which is nice but not typically noteworthy. However, White Christmas has been an annual tradition since the venue’s restoration, and usually they have done it right. The theater is always beautifully decorated for the holidays, and Victorian era carolers welcome patrons arriving for the film. I believe they’ve decided to retire the tradition for awhile, a melancholy yet logical decision. I wouldn’t mind if Feast became a new annual tradition since it already is for me. Northcentral WV was a popular landing spot for Italian immigrants a century ago, including my paternal great grandparents. The Christmas Eve celebration depicted in the film doesn’t totally mirror my childhood experience, but hits enough of the right beats to make me wistful for those halcyon days. Feast was actually filmed in nearby Fairmont, WV, and The RG hosted the director for a post-screening Q&A, which was neat.

5 Mark Lowry w/ The Martins – RGPAC 5th Anniversary Weekend – October 2023

My Dad used to watch The Gaither Vocal Band on television years ago, and I remember Lowry being the group’s comedian. He also wrote the Christmas hymn Mary, Did You Know?. For The RG’s Fifth Anniversary Weekend Lowry was joined by Grammy nominated gospel group The Martins. There was a Meet & Greet before the show and, though I’m not really into those because I am a socially awkward introvert, it was an honor to shake Mr. Lowry’s hand.

4 Travis Tritt – September 2019

Anyone who knows me understands that country music isn’t really my thing. That being said, there are a few performers who I thoroughly enjoy. I was quite excited when this acoustic show was announced, and Tritt did not disappoint. I had the opportunity to see him again a few years later at our local outdoor amphitheater, and both nights were so damn fun. I would jump at a third chance.

3 Good Shot Judy – August 2022 & RGPAC 5th Anniversary Weekend – October 2023

You’ve probably heard of Postmodern Jukebox, a band that reimagines rock & pop tunes into vintage genres like swing, jazz, & blues. Good Shot Judy is similar. It’s a fun, dynamic show, and I am glad that I’ve had the opportunity to see them twice. The RG wasn’t filled to the rafters on either night, which is a shame because it’s the kind of high energy performance that feeds off of a lively crowd. Long ago I had to accept that I live in a low information, uncultured environment that doesn’t appreciate innovative art. We’re more of a hot dogs n’ beer community versus a hors d’oeuvres & Chardonnay crowd, which is fine. I am thankful that The RG occasionally paints outside those lines, even if the masses don’t necessarily embrace it. These shows were very cool and highly entertaining. I’d be remiss not to note that PMJ is coming to The RG at the end of this year, which is going to be lit.

2 The Davisson Brothers w/ Chris Janson – February 2019

Speaking of hot dogs & beer…

While I appreciate channeling my inner Frasier Crane and basking in high brow pleasures like classical music & theater, I cannot completely deny my Appalachian roots. The Davissons are local favorites whose love of our state and its wild & wonderful culture shines thru in their music. They’ve enjoyed moderate success outside of our borders as well and befriended some legit country music stars. The RG has packed the house for The Davisson Brothers on multiple occasions, but I particularly enjoyed the night they were joined by Chris Janson, whose song Good Vibes has become a personal favorite.

1 Annie – December 2019

The Addams Family Musical – October 2021

Community theater occasionally gets a bad rap, but I am not opining thru rose colored glasses when I tell you these productions were top notch. I had no idea there were so many talented people right here in our oft neglected, easily forgotten little corner of the universe. I thoroughly enjoyed both plays. Circumstances have prevented The RG’s community theater program from moving forward the past few years, but I am hopeful that will change someday. If that happens whoever is involved will have a hell of a legacy to measure up to, so we’ll see.

I’ve been thinking about Frank Sinatra’s song My Way. “Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention.” How many people can truthfully say that?? I’d venture to guess that many of us have a long list of regrets if we ever take time to genuinely self-reflect.

That’s a big if though, right?? Most folks are just doing their best to live a decent life. Go to work. Perhaps accomplish something if your job is meaningful on some level. Pay bills. Take care of a home. Build an impactful relationship or long lasting marriage. Raise children. Enjoy friendships and familial relationships. Be a good neighbor. Occasionally go out for a night on the town or take the tribe on a fun vacation. Who has time for introspection?? And even if you do ponder such things, what good can come of it?? If hindsight really is 20/20 and you pinpoint mistakes you made decades ago that altered the path of your life, chances are you can’t change things now. Maybe that’s what Sinatra really meant. Or more specifically what Paul Anka meant after acquiring the melody of a French song and writing new lyrics. I suppose brevity & lyrical necessity could’ve dictated the idea of having no regrets versus having regrets while recognizing the futility of dwelling on them.

At any rate, the song is more than just that one line. “I’ve lived a life that’s full. I traveled each and every highway.” In just the past few years a buddy of mine has been to Hawaii, Great Britain, & Greece. On a smaller scale, a former colleague that I’ve kept in touch with thru the years enjoys daytrips up & down our lovely state of West Virginia and travels to alot of Christian music events throughout the Atlantic & Southeastern United States. Do I feel a tinge of envy that I’ve never had the means or health to do such things?? Sure. But mostly I am glad to know people living the full life that is within their grasp.

“I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption. I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway.” Someone…probably my father…told me a long time ago that winners make things happen while losers let things happen. I didn’t realize until I was in my late 40’s that I’ve been in survival mode my entire life. However, while that is part of my story, the unvarnished truth is that I have always lacked follow-thru, become easily distracted, and rarely been able to focus on long term goals. I often joke around that an uneventful day during which nothing bad happened is my definition of a good day, but when one is just trying to get thru the day aiming for achievements years down the road (i.e. what successful people do) isn’t really a thing.

Sinatra talks about “when there was doubt” eating it up & spitting it out. At times in my life I have risen to the occasion and proved others’ assumptions about me wrong, but the fact is that most people have extremely low expectations of me. People think it’s amazing that I graduated college, live independently, and drive a vehicle. Conversely, I don’t believe that I deserve a gold star for any of those mundane “achievements”. My hopes & dreams…in my mind atleast…were much more grandiose at one point in time, but I have hardly chewed up my own self-doubt and spit it out.

The song mentions loving, laughing, crying, and losing, which maybe be the part with which I most closely identify. However, contrary to The Chairman I don’t find riding the struggle bus all that amusing.

The whole point of the song is doing it “my way”, right?? To “face it all and stand tall”. To “say things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels”. It’s about being a badass and living a life of which you are proud.

Frank Sinatra died a quarter century ago and we still remember him. Granted, he’s not the best example of the point I’m making because he was wealthy, famous, & ultra talented. That being said, we’ve all known people like Sinatra on a much smaller scale. Their impact may have been local rather than national. They may not have been well-known or affluent. Perhaps their vocation wasn’t something as cool as singing amazing songs. Yet most of us can name atleast a couple of people who stories are still told about decades after their earthly departure. We know or have heard of people who lived boldly & unapologetically, with confidence, a generous spirit, and the determination to achieve great things. I’ve never been that guy, and while I accept that with peace in my heart, it is with a certain level of remorseful admiration that I recognize & respect those who do it their way.

There are times when we all need to share a little pain, and ironing out the rough spots is the hardest part when memories remain. – Elton John

When I lost my mother 24 years ago technology wasn’t quite as advanced as it is now. I wrote Mom a letter and decided that she could read it once she got to Heaven. Unfortunately, to my horror, there were printer issues, which freaked me out in a way that is embarrassing to ponder two decades later. At any rate, I decided to save the letter on a floppy disk and put that in her casket. It’s okay if you’re laughing…the term “floppy disk” was funny even back in the day, and it certainly seems quaint now.

So here we are, with a much improved forum to express my thoughts upon the passing of my sister. Sadly, words not only seem inadequate, but aren’t, with all due respect to Ralphie Parker, pouring out with feverish fluidity. To be honest, I’ve been kind of numb the past couple of weeks. I’m okay as long as I am busy, or atleast distracted, but when things get too quiet, well…that’s a different story.

My sister was a normal, healthy, much loved, well cared for, maybe even spoiled toddler of nearly three when I arrived and totally screwed everything up for her. IYKYK. I required a lot of care & attention in my childhood, including multiple surgeries & hospitalizations that took my mother away from my sister for significant stretches of time. To her credit she didn’t act out or express jealousy. I never got the sense that she felt any kind of resentment. It’s a discussion we never had, which I regret. We were blessed to not only have terrific parents, but a fantastic support system. It took a village for us decades before that whole idea became trendy.

Don’t misunderstand…I am not deifying my sister. While certain aspects of our dynamic were unusual, in general we were typical siblings. She remains the only person I’ve ever punched, but in all fairness she once opened a recliner on my face and also whacked me with a cast iron skillet. We weren’t perfect by any stretch, but I believe we were perceived as good kids by most people. Parenting matters.

Oddly enough we had what we called The Secret Club, promising not to tell our parents certain things. I refer to it as odd because we weren’t troublemakers and didn’t have many secrets to keep. The only thing that pops into my mind is when we found the hidden stash of Christmas gifts and knew we were getting an Atari weeks in advance. The surprise we expressed when opening that present on Christmas morning should probably have gotten us Academy Award nominations. Or perhaps Mom & Dad saw right thru us like that rather transparent wrapping paper. I don’t know…it was never discussed. I just remember how much I enjoyed playing Frogger & Pitfall…in her room, because that’s where the game was set up. After all, she had seniority.

We were fairly prosaic teenagers by modern standards. No drinking or drugs. No petty crime sprees. She was the quintessential teenage girl who argued with her mother occasionally. She’d tell Mom “I’ll do anything you need me to do. Just tell me what to do!!”, while Mom’s logic was “I shouldn’t have to tell you what to do…you should see what needs to be done and do it.” I think my sister finally understood when she became a mother. We both did well enough academically, although I never got to observe her in that environment because I always attended different schools due to accessibility. I know she wasn’t in the popular cliques with the cool kids, and she wasn’t a band geek, but she had friends and was well-liked. I have gotten to know some of her friends thru the years. We did go to church with Mom and were in the youth group together, and she would certainly agree that those were some of the most fun & impactful years of our lives.

Adulthood can sometimes create a level of distance as people marry, have children of their own, relocate, and evolve in various aspects of life, but my sister & I grew closer as we got older. She had her first child when I was in college, and I finally got to meet him several weeks later when I came home for Spring Break amidst a blizzard. When she had her younger son I was at the hospital with the family as it was happening. He looked a lot like me growing up and I’d joke around with his mother that “this is West Virginia…people may start to talk”. She & I actually worked together for a couple of years scanning fingerprint cards for an FBI-adjacent company. It may not have been my favorite place of employment, but in hindsight I am thankful for the experience.

Things weren’t always pleasant. She got divorced. Our mother died. We both had health challenges, which was pretty standard for me but a new mountain to climb for her. However, she raised her boys, and just like us they didn’t get into much trouble, got thru school, and have become productive, decent, respectable young men. They too have a great support system, which is extremely important now. Herman Melville once said “our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, our actions run as causes and return to us as results.”

We often agreed that our lives were never quite the same after Mom’s death. I don’t know why that is…we weren’t small children. Maybe it was simply a convenient focal point. Other things strengthened our bond. Technology can be a wonderful thing, and we texted each other all the time. She talked me off a ledge in many situations, and I offered my perspective on things with which she struggled. There was an unspoken permission to express our darkest or weirdest thoughts without judgement. She was so much like my mother in the way that she was kind & self-effacing, but didn’t hesitate to speak her mind or tell a person the hard truth. Her increasingly poor health created a new level of understanding. We got each other in ways that no one else can truly recognize, hating the roadblocks we faced. We both worried about our Dad and felt bad that he was still doing things for us at a time when we should’ve been taking care of him.

It’s important to note the lighter moments as well. Our childhood babysitter got us hooked on soap operas…Days of Our Lives & General Hospital. I already miss discussing GH with her. Back in the day she was a Dallas Cowboys fan while I have been a die hard Pittsburgh Steelers fan since I was four years old. That created some good-natured taunting when those two teams would play one another. Something weird happened in recent years though, as she started watching Steelers games. She would’ve gladly carried the banner at any #FireTomlin rally. When we talked or got to be together we always ended up laughing about something. DaLynn had a pretty smile & a great laugh, and I enjoyed making her laugh.

One of the things that I’ve been dealing with is that I don’t have anyone to whine & complain to now. Who can I discuss the trivial aspects of my mundane existence with?? I have people in my life that talk a lot, but who is going to listen to me?? Who will laugh at my nonsense?? No one else really understands me. I realize that sounds selfish, but when Carly inevitably cheats on Drew with Sonny, who is still in love with Nina despite her many faults, I’m going to need to kvetch a bit. Every night for the past couple of weeks, usually around 10pm-ish when I’m winding down, I’ve wanted to text her and assess the events of the day. I’m the kind of nerd that has a few special ringtones for certain people. The Godfather theme for my Dad. Darth Vader’s Imperial March for an old boss I had. The Star Trek theme for a friend who hasn’t called me in several years. DaLynn’s ringtone is a song you’ve heard a million times if you’ve ever watched the Peanuts animated specials. It’s called Linus & Lucy, because Lucy was Linus’ sister, and that’s how my mind works. I’ll never use it for anyone else, but I will also never delete it from my phone.

Though I don’t always act like it or set a good example, I am a man of faith. When I said goodbye to my sister I told her she was going to get to see Mom & all of our grandparents, along with many other long departed loved ones, and I sincerely believe it. That being said, I have suddenly felt very alone. I love my father, and have been so proud of my nephews thru all of this, but it’s not the same. My sister & I were peers. She didn’t treat me like “the guy in a wheelchair”. She didn’t pity me. Unlike interactions with other women, I didn’t feel the need to impress her or be cool. I have friends, but thru no fault of their own they will never truly know me in the way that she did. That being said, my father has now had to bury his wife and daughter, as well as his parents. That’s an incredible amount of loss. I do understand what my nephews are going thru, and that their lives are forever altered as ours were two dozen years ago.

So now, life moves forward, like a rock band with only a couple original members from the classic lineup. There will still be music, it’ll just sound a bit different. I have resumed normal activities, as have her sons and my father. I have begun posting my usual silliness on social media again, which amuses me and hopefully makes some people smile. I will be going to shows at the performing arts center down the street. My friends there and the entertainment provided will be a welcome diversion. I will do these things to honor her memory, and continue doing the same for my mother. The grief will never end…I know that. However, we will laugh again. There will be good times. They are reunited, which is comforting, and I’m sure DaLynn knows what to do now without Mom having to ask.