Dr. Dre

WINNING & MUSING…VOLUME 1.22

Our first edition of W&M in 2022 is football heavy as usual, but that’ll change in the not-too-distant future. For now it is time to bid farewell to goal posts & penalty flags and say so long to QB sacks & onside kicks. Enjoy. 

Kudos to the Super Bowl Champion Los Angeles Rams. As a Steelers fan I wasn’t about to cheer for the Cincinnati Bengals, and I’m beginning to get a little uncomfortable with the sports media’s blatant attempts to position Cincy QB Joe Burrow as Tom Brady 2.0. The kid seems a bit too big for his britches (shout out to my late Grandma P.), so perhaps it’s best he was brought down a peg or two. Also, after wasting over a decade with the hapless Detroit Lions one can’t help but be happy for Rams’ QB Matthew Stafford (I bet Calvin Johnson wishes he would’ve gotten an opportunity to play football somewhere other than Detroit). The game itself was rather prosaic, although thankfully it wasn’t a blowout. I have no opinion about any of the commercials because I had company who is literally unable to STOP TALKING for longer than ten seconds at a time (it’s exhausting). I’m not going to crown the halftime show featuring nearly every old school rapper that hasn’t been shot yet as “the best EVER”, but it was sufficiently entertaining. That kind of music was never my jam back in the 90s, but if it was yours then you probably enjoyed the show way more than me. 

After an atrocious 1-7 record for each of us in the final week of the season, our Pigskin Picks of Profundity ended with yours truly scoring the season victory at 57-69, while Zach was 49-77 on the year. Although I wish we were more skilled prognosticators, as always it was so much fun doing these picks with my nephew, an annual tradition I’ve come to really appreciate.

In the wake of an ultra exciting weekend of playoff football a few weeks ago fans were calling the Chiefs-Bills clash that KC won in overtime one of the best football games they’d ever seen while lamenting the lame NFL OT rules that essentially allow a coin toss to decide the outcome. I don’t necessarily disagree with those sentiments, but I also have an alternative view. If I were in charge of the NFL overtime would follow the general idea of the current college football OT rules (more on that below), but let’s focus on defense. Y’all remember defense right?? We used to believe that “defense wins championships”, but that no longer seems to be true. Buffalo was up by three points in that game with thirteen seconds remaining. 13 seconds!! Yet they allowed Kansas City to get into field goal range with just a couple of long passes, which gave the home team an opportunity to execute the game tying field goal. While it is undeniably fun to watch great skill players & elite QBs throw haymaker after haymaker like what transpired between the Buffalo Bills & Kansas City Chiefs, let’s not get it twisted. The “Bills Mafia” can blame stupid overtime rules all they want, but the fact is that all their team had to do was stop the opposition from going 44 yards in 13 seconds and they failed. 

Congratulations to newly minted MLB Hall-of-Famer David Ortiz, who will be enshrined in Cooperstown this summer. Big Papi won three World Series with the Boston Red Sox, was a ten time All-Star, and had a .286 career batting average with 541 home runs in 20 seasons. Sadly, Ortiz’s moment was overshadowed a bit by hand-wringing over Barry Bonds & Roger Clemens not being selected in their final year on the ballot. I find it interesting that so many will passionately defend known defrauders of the game like Bonds & Clemens, yet they’re perfectly fine with Curt Schilling being excluded from the Hall of Fame. Schilling’s alleged mediocrity…6 time All-Star, 3 time World Series Champion, 3000+ strikeouts…is a weak excuse since we all know the real reason the powers-that-be don’t like him is because of his very candid political opinions. 

Y’all, I didn’t even keep track of college football’s bowl season while it was happening, but I did go back & check the numbers. Zach edged me by a couple of games in our Bowl-a-Palooza picks, going 18-19 while I was 16-21. Five bowl games were canceled altogether, while two games were played with altered matchups so those results were tossed aside. Between COVID, the transfer portal, star players opting out to prepare for the NFL Draft, & the coaching carousel, bowl season didn’t seem like very much fun this year. When the playoff is expanded something is going to need to be done to make the other games matter for fans and apparently players & coaches.

Okay, so let’s talk overtime. The current college football OT rules allow each offense to have the ball starting on their opponent’s 25 yard line, meaning they’re essentially in field goal range already. No matter what Offense A does Offense B gets the ball (also on the opponent’s 25 yard line). The wildcard is what does Offense A do with the ball?? At worst they’ll have an opportunity to kick a 41 yard field goal (unless they turn the ball over). That’s not a chip shot, but it’s more than makable in most circumstances. At best they’ll score a touchdown & put the pressure on the opposing team’s offense. Now here’s where it gets weird. If both teams trade matching scores and there is a second overtime, any TD must be followed up with a 2 point conversion instead of an extra point. Then, if we make it to a third OT, the teams just alternate 2 point plays (that start on the three yard line), which is basically a football variation of penalty kicks in soccer. I despise the two point conversion rule for overtime. In contrast, the NFL does have a kickoff (after a coin toss, with the winner of that always choosing to receive…obviously), and if Offense A scores a touchdown the game is over. If they score a FG or don’t score at all Offense B gets an opportunity. If Offense B matches what Offense A did then it becomes sudden death, and if the teams are still tied at the end of 10 minutes the game ends in a tie. My proposal would be a hybrid of the two differing systems, and would ideally be implemented on both levels…college & pro. Give Offense A the ball on the 50 yard line. I’m not usually a proponent of minimizing special teams, but in this case I believe it works best. The offense isn’t already in field goal range and has some work to do, while the defense has a legit opportunity to do their job. No matter what happens Offense B will get a chance to possess the football. Unlike the current college system I would have a time clock, but, as opposed to current NFL rules, I’d bump the extra period back up to 15 minutes (I don’t like ties but can live with the theoretical yet unlikely possibility that it could happen). No team would ever be forced to attempt a two point conversion unless they choose to do so. 

I would be remiss not to mention the retirement of Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. Thankfully it wasn’t a surprise, and it was time. I don’t know if all the blame belongs with offensive coordinator Matt Canada, or if Big Ben just didn’t have an arm anymore, but the offense had become painful to watch. I enjoy an occasional screen pass, and realize “bubble screens” specifically have become part of football, but I just don’t believe throwing the ball five yards or less downfield constantly is productive, especially when defenses are expecting it. To be clear, I am aware that the Steelers’ offensive line was abysmal this past season & needs a major overhaul. I’m not completely sold on the receiving corps either: Chase Claypool, Diontae Johnson, & JuJu Schuster aren’t nearly as great as they believe themselves to be. Aside from those issues though, an aging quarterback with zero mobility & a weakening arm simply doesn’t bode well, especially when the AFC boasts young guns who can move like Patrick Mahomes, Josh Allen, Lamar Jackson, Justin Herbert, & Joe Burrow. Roethlisberger was never fast, but he always had tremendous escapability that allowed him to scramble & extend plays. That escapability had noticeably diminished, and when combined with a poor offensive line & questionable play calls the Steelers offense was doomed. So, as the Steelers & all the fans prepare to move forward, right now I want to give one last shoutout to Ben Roethlisberger. It has been a joy to watch you, from the moment I gathered with co-workers at a local sports bar on that spring day 18 years ago & watched my Steelers draft you with the eleventh pick, thru two Super Bowl victories, all the way to a bitterly decisive playoff defeat at the hands of the Kansas City Chiefs last month. More importantly, it has been delightful to see you evolve from an impetuous young man into a mature & responsible husband, father, leader, & adult. People still like to bring up the past & criticize you for mistakes made 15 years ago, but I’d tell those people to clean their own house first. None of us are perfect, and you’ve gone thru your battles very publicly. From a football perspective I wish you’d have gotten atleast a couple more opportunities in the Super Bowl, but so many factors play into that. You got us two Lombardis & provided many other great memories. I don’t know if coaching or ownership or anything football related is in your future, but as a fan I sincerely hope to have you as part of the Steelers organization in some capacity down the road.

My Neighbor’s Ass

In the 1998 rom-com You’ve Got Mail (#46 on my Favorite Movies list) Meg Ryan’s character laments “I live a small life. Well, valuable but small. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it or because I haven’t been brave?”

 

I must admit that I often have a similar inner dialogue, except I am not quite so convinced that my life has been all that valuable thus far. I beat myself up about not being as professionally successful as I thought I’d be once upon a time. I feel isolated and contemplate my lack of friends, dearth of communal interaction, and complete absence of any semblance of a love life. I wonder where it all went so wrong and ponder decades of mistakes, misfortune, wrong turns, and bad decisions. And I convince myself that I am the only person in the world who has these thoughts because e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e else is happier, more successful, and completely content with their wonderful lives.

 

Social media does one no favors with this struggle. A person can log onto Facebook on a daily basis and see family members, fellow church members, or old chums from school & work proudly displaying photos of or understandably boasting about their wonderful spouse, fun & entertaining city, beautiful children, awesome job, expensive home, cool new car, and amazing vacation. I often see others going to concerts, having cookouts with friends & family, and painting the town red every weekend, all while I sit at home by myself reading a book, watching TV, and chillin’ with my dog.

 

But then I see other things. I read an obituary of a lovely 20-something whose life was cut short by something the paper politely does not mention. I see that the divorce rate is 50%…give or take…and personally know far too many people who have gone through the ordeal. I observe a multitude of homeless, illiterate people wandering the streets of my hometown. I know of those who have committed or atleast attempted suicide. I see the negative effects of joblessness & economic woes. I hear about people’s battles with serious illness.

 

It is in these moments of clarity that I understand that my life ain’t half bad.

 

Why then, do I (and others) oftentimes feel such regret?? Why does seeing what others have spark an unhealthy fusion of animosity & sadness?? As usual, my friend The Owl pointed me in the right direction for the answer.

 

The Bible has literally dozens of verses that speak of a particular word. That word is “covet”. The dictionary defines it as being “inordinately, eagerly, or wrongly desirous of wealth and possessions or excessively and culpably desirous of the possessions of another.” In a nutshell, we want what we can’t (or aren’t supposed to) have. We become convinced that what we do have…our life, our stuff…isn’t good enough. We have a perfectly fine roof over our heads, but we want something bigger & fancier or in a better neighborhood. We like our job but keep our eyes & ears open for something more prestigious or with higher pay. We love our spouse but don’t hesitate to dump them for or cheat on them with someone hotter, thinner, or richer. It seems that many are never truly happy or satisfied and nothing they attain or achieve is ever good enough.

 

At this point I feel compelled to make two disclaimers. First of all, I am absolutely sure that we all fight this battle; it’s just that there are varying degrees of covetousness and some are more successful in overcoming the obstacle than others. Jeremiah 6:13 tells us that “from the least of them even to the greatest of them, everyone is given to covetousness, and from the prophet even to the priest,everyone deals falsely.” Even the most content among us has likely been envious of others at some point in their life. So if you are reading this and thinking “My humble Potentate of Profundity has lost his mind. I’ve never felt what he is describing.” then either you are a very blessed individual or you are lying to yourself. Call me cynical, but my money is on the latter. Secondly, no one is saying that folks are wrong for buying a fancy new car, jumping ship to a better job, or taking a fantabulous trip to an exotic locale. The point is that others are wrong for secretly cursing those folks under their breath and wishing they could have the car, the job, & the trip.

 

Covetousness is such a big deal to God that He includes it in His Ten Commandments. Specifically, the tenth commandment in Exodus 20:17 states ““You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.” So covetousness is right up there alongside murder, theft, lying, and adultery in the pantheon of things we are not supposed to do. Colossians 3:5 instructs us to “put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”  Mark 7:21-23 says that “From within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man.” I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t give a rat’s petoot about my neighbor’s ox or donkey, if I even know anyone that owns such animals. However, I darn sure notice other guys’ pretty girlfriends, wish I’d been to cool places like Vegas & Italy like a lot of folks I know, and wonder occasionally why I wasn’t smart enough to move to the beach like half of my graduating class. The problem is that The Bible tells me I may as well be out robbing banks, killing people, and sleeping around because I am still wallowing in sin when I covet. What is the punishment for these evil thoughts?? Ephesians 5:5 tells us that “no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.” 2nd Peter 2:12-15 warns us about false teachers that will come along and “speak evil of the things they do not understand, and will utterly perish in their own corruption, and will receive the wages of unrighteousness, as those who count it pleasure to carouse in the daytime.” These false teachers and the things they put forth “are spots and blemishes, carousing in their own deceptions while they feast with you, having eyes full of adultery that cannot cease from sin, enticing unstable souls. They have a heart trained in covetous practices, and are accursed children. They have forsaken the right way and gone astray.” The question that one must ask of themselves is “Is my soul unstable??”.

 

I don’t like to dive into these kinds of topics without being able to offer a solution, and what I have found is that the answer is always pretty much the same. You aren’t going to find what you seek in a pop psychology book or on an infomercial. Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Dr. Ruth, and Dr. Laura aren’t going to assist you any more than Dr. Dre, Dr. Seuss, Dr. J, or Doctor No. These sources might provide some answers, but they won’t deliver t-h-e answer. There is only one foundation that will bring stability to the soul, allowing a person to withstand the false teachings so abundant in our world. The psalmist, in Psalm 119:36, prays to God “incline my heart to Your testimonies, and not to covetousness.” Receive your instruction from God instead of a talk show or the inane ramblings of some empty-headed, soulless pseudo celebrity and you should be on solid ground. Hebrews 13:5 implores us to “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” Luke 12:15 says to “take heed and beware of covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.” I think it is okay to identify good people, look up to them, and attempt to emulate their finest qualities. But if you want to know what kind of person you should be just refer to Paul’s advice to Timothy in Timothy 3:2-4, in which he says that we should “be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach;  not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous;  one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence.” Paul didn’t seem concerned with keeping up with the Jones…or the Kardashians…so maybe we shouldn’t either.

 

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