Coach Prime

2024 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…Week 13

We won’t rehash last week except to say that I edged Zach by one game. Overall we both sank deeper into the abyss. It might seem like we’re chasing wins with bonus picks now, but that isn’t the case. It just so happens that the schedule is provocative, beginning on Thursday night when our Steelers visit Cleveland and I will regret not having adult beverages on hand. Of course we aren’t dealing with that contest, but I sure do hope it gets the weekend off to a good start. 

My Season: 37-35

Zach’s Season: 32-40

Ole Miss (-10) at Florida 

The 8-2 Rebels find themselves amidst a gaggle of atleast a half dozen teams vying for two spots in the SEC title game, and would like to remain in the very realistic scenario that could see four teams from that conference receive playoff berths. Conversely, the 5-5 Gators would be happy with a bowl bid & a non-losing season. I have to assume that Florida being double digit underdogs in The Swamp is rare, although they’ve lost at home four times this year…all by 13+ points. As much as I hate to point it out, I feel like we’ve landed right back in the era of “style points” being way too important, so for that reason I believe the visitors will deliver the beatdown expected from them. Zach has observed improvement from Florida, but doesn’t believe it’s enough to go against the grain this week.

My Pick: Ole Miss

Zach’s Pick: Ole Miss

Army vs. Notre Dame (-15.5)

In case you haven’t been paying attention, the Black Knights are unbeaten and ranked in the Top 20. Sadly, their program is treated like the precocious child that adults indulge for awhile at family gatherings before banishing them to the kiddie table. Meanwhile, the Irish still have to be kicking themselves for an inexcusable loss in early September to Northern Illinois (a team that currently finds themselves 6-5). They are virtually a lock for the playoff though, unless some really bizarre things occur. I’d love to pick an upset, but I don’t see any way Army loses the game by less than three TDs. Zach concurs.

My Pick: Notre Dame 

Zach’s Pick: Notre Dame 

Wisconsin at Nebraska (-2.5)

Neither team receives much attention in the stacked Big Ten, and considering their matching 5-5 records I suppose that indifference is well deserved. The Cornhuskers have lost four in a row, while the Badgers have dropped their last three games, including a spirited battle against #1 Oregon, which Wisconsin could’ve & should’ve won. I don’t think it’s easy to recover from heartbreak like that, so I’m riding with the home favorites. Zach foresees typical Big Ten, low scoring, smashmouth football. He believes Nebraska is finally headed in the right direction, but predicts a late 4th quarter game winning drive for the underdogs. 

My Pick: Nebraska

Zach’s Pick: Wisconsin 

Colorado (-2.5) at Kansas

I’ll admit that I haven’t shown Coach Prime much respect. He’s an attention whore who led the Buffaloes to an atrocious 4-8 record a season ago. Having said that, credit must be given for a turnaround that finds Colorado 8-2 and ranked in the Top 20. The 4-6 Jayhawks are a huge disappointment after finishing 9-4 last year. However, they have won two consecutive games against ranked opponents and have the home field. Can they do it again?? It’s probably not a very smart pick, but that’s the way The Voices are pulling me. Zach thinks Colorado has a legit shot at earning a playoff spot and sees them winning big this week.

My Pick: Kansas

Zach’s Pick: Colorado 

Indiana at Ohio State (-12.5)

It would be beneficial for college football if this ends up being a more competitive game than the “experts” believe it’ll be. Nearly everyone outside Columbus, OH is cheering on the undefeated Hoosiers. Every March we see a couple of basketball teams bask in the glory of upsetting a blue blood program. They rarely get close to winning the championship, but they earn “one shining moment” in the sun that’ll be cherished for a lifetime. That doesn’t happen as often on the football field, but this could potentially be that kind of occasion. Unfortunately, I think the Buckeyes are just too athletic at every position and the home field is formidable. Being wrong would make me happy in this case, but I don’t think I am. Zach recognizes that Ohio St. has plenty of experience in big games, but his issues with the entire state of Ohio that probably need to be explored by an experienced therapist preclude him from picking them.

My Pick: Ohio St.

Zach’s Pick: Indiana 

Dallas at Washington (-10.5)

It looks like I was a year ahead of the Cowboys implosion. I don’t know if that makes me vaguely psychic or just one of those hard luck bums who’ll be shown in The Great Beyond just how many times I screwed up, coming oh so close to happiness & success only to miss it by a whisper. At any rate, when I was a kid this was a cool rivalry chock full of Cowboys vs. Indians imagery & analogies, but leftists robbed us of that fun like they do in virtually all areas of society, and this year I don’t even expect it to be very interesting on the field. I just hope Jayden Daniels lights up the scoreboard since he’s my starting quarterback in a few fantasy leagues. Zach opines that Dallas probably needs to just scrap everything from the top down and start from scratch.

My Pick: Washington

Zach’s Pick: Washington 

Tampa Bay (-5.5) at NY Giants 

The Bucs are 4-6 but could just as easily be 7-3.  It seems that Baker Mayfield is a rather decent quarterback outside the Vortex of Apathy that sucks the joy out of Cleveland, but he has landed with another hard luck franchise. Meanwhile, it looks like the 2-8 Giants will be drafting another QB next spring, as they have finally admitted that Daniel Jones is indeed the epic failure the rest of us knew he was destined to become five years ago. New York could’ve waited until much later in that draft and snagged Gardner Minshew with better results. Anyway, this is exactly the kind of game RedZone was created for, because I’d rather dangle my junk in the kitchen sink at Diddy’s house than watch the entire sixty minutes. Tampa will win, but no one will notice or give a damn. Zach agrees.

My Pick: Tampa Bay

Zach’s Pick: Tampa Bay

Baltimore (-3) at LA Chargers 

Our Steelers beat the Ravens last week and every Baltimore apologist is still crying about it. Don’t misunderstand…I fully realize that it’s way too soon to get cocky, and the AFC North is still a street fight that’s far from over. However, I told y’all in the preseason that I wasn’t all in on the Baltimore hype, and I was right. Conversely, Jim Harbaugh has transformed the 7-3 Chargers into a playoff contender just like I told you he would. It’s a Monday night showdown that probably isn’t receiving enough attention. It won’t be easy, and I think RB Derrick Henry will rebound nicely from the abysmal game he had in Pittsburgh, but I am boldly calling for an upset. Zach enjoys the Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh of it all, and at the end of the day he also likes the former Michigan coach to prevail.

My Pick: LA Chargers 

Zach’s Pick: LA Chargers 

2023 PIGSKIN PICKS OF PROFUNDITY…WEEK 5

As a Steelers fan I’m still trying to wrap my head around what the hell I watched Monday night. Never has a win felt more like a loss. As a fantasy owner I am juggling a half dozen teams with various injuries & underperforming players who I can’t give away in trades. All of this while I just kicked Covid’s ass for the third time. It’s no fun, but even my healthcare provider said “it’s really not a big deal anymore”, so I thank God every day I didn’t bow to the pressure to receive a useless “vaccine” that is more dangerous than the disease it is supposed to treat. Anyway, Zach has drawn a little closer overall, and we’re both still above water. Hopefully doing a few bonus picks won’t turn out to be a bad idea.

My Season: 15-8

Zach’s Season: 13-10

Florida State (-2) at Clemson

My my how the turn tables. The Seminoles haven’t won this matchup since 2014, but now they visit Death Valley as slight road favorites. The Tigers are 2-1, though no one is putting much stock in two easy victories, instead choosing to dwell on the season opening loss at Duke. Florida St. is 3-0 and getting a lot of love for their season opening destruction of LSU. I’ve always liked Clemson head coach Dabo Swinney, who seems like a genuinely decent man. Now we’re going to find out just how good of a coach he is, regardless of the final score. This is a Noon kickoff instead of prime time, which speaks volumes. After six straight playoff appearances Clemson has been in a downward cycle for the past couple of years, and that’s okay. It happens. Conversely, after being one of the dominant forces in college football throughout the 90s Florida St. had some lean years and now appears to be highly competitive once more. It’s the circle of life. The wheel of fortune. Zach is taking a leap of faith on Coach Swinney, believing he’ll have his team ready to find their place on the path unwinding.

My Pick: Florida St.

Zach’s Pick: Clemson

Colorado at Oregon (-21)

Play time is over. Upsetting TCU was cool, even if it was more perception based on last season. Throttling Nebraska was nostalgic. Defeating Colorado St. in two OTs was thrilling and everything a rivalry game should be…hell, everything college football once was until greed chipped away at it like a woodpecker on a maple tree. Now though…now we find out if the Buffs are the real deal. The Ducks are 3-0 and have made it look relatively easy. We cannot overlook the fact that it is a conference battle, and the two top teams will ultimately meet for the PAC 12 title, making this a pretty important game. Coach Prime has won me over with his cool demeanor, hype skills, & genuine belief in his team. However, I think they will struggle to be .500 the rest of the way. Oregon might not be a playoff team, but they are a legit Top 10 threat. Zach concurs. He foresees the favorites winning quite emphatically.

My Pick: Oregon

Zach’s Pick: Oregon

UCLA at Utah (-4.5)

The 3-0 Utes have become the forgotten team in the PAC 12, which is probably fine with them at the moment. The season opening victory over Florida looks better every day, and QB Cameron Rising could finally be ready to play after missing the first few games while still recovering from a torn ACL suffered in the Rose Bowl. Meanwhile, the Bruins are also 3-0, although their schedule has hardly been…noteworthy. This could be one of the best games of the day on Saturday, and I believe it’ll be super close. Decided by a field goal close. Zach also thinks it’ll be close, but ultimately sees Utah being good enough.

My Pick: UCLA

Zach’s Pick: Utah

Ohio St. (-3.5) at Notre Dame

The Buckeyes are cruising along without a care in the world. Starting the season with three cupcakes will do that for you, but now they’ll need to snap on those chinstraps tight and be prepared to play football. Not only are the Fighting Irish also undefeated, but they have the home field. A win for either team legitimizes their success thus far & puts them squarely in the playoff debate. A loss doesn’t mean the season is over, but it likely ends any national title dreams. I think it’ll be a hard fought battle. Notre Dame will scratch & claw and look pretty good keeping up with their favored opponents. They’ll have opportunities to tie or even take a small lead…but it won’t happen. Ohio St. is just a little faster, a little deeper, and a little more athletic. Conversely, Zach thinks Ohio St.’s QB situation is a mess and predicts Notre Dame will defend their turf.

My Pick: Ohio St.

Zach’s Pick: Notre Dame

LA Chargers at Minnesota (-1.5)

The Vikings just traded for (former) Rams’ running back Cam Akers because their rushing attack has been pathetic. I don’t know if Akers will be in the lineup Sunday, but after starting 0-2 there is some urgency there. The Chargers are also 0-2, but could just as easily be 2-0. It would certainly help to get RB Austin Ekeler back on the field, but he may miss another game. Neither of these teams has been getting blown out, they’ve just been missing…something…that causes them to fall just a bit short. Akers could be the missing piece for Minnesota, but I’d be surprised if we know that answer this week. The question for me is which defense does one trust more, and I think I have to lean toward the Chargers. Zach foresees a low scoring affair and agrees the underdogs will snag a mild upset.

My Pick: LA Chargers

Zach’s Pick: LA Chargers

Chicago at Kansas City (-13.5)

I listened with bemusement to talking heads hyping the Bears & QB Justin Fields in the preseason because I have the direct opposite opinions. Two games in & who looks good on the Bears/Fields front?? That’s right…me. Conversely, I am somewhat concerned about the Chiefs, although, to be fair, losing by one point to Detroit and being challenged mightily by the Jags aren’t reasons to hang heads in shame. For now I am blaming that overhyped harlot Taylor Swift for anything that goes wrong in KC. Will that include a loss to the Bears?? No…not even that twit has that much power. Will the home team cover?? That’s a whole different mediocre country pop song. I think it’ll be close. Gamblers nationwide will sweat as the outcome hangs in the balance heading into the 4th quarter. But then guys like Patrick Mahomes & Chris Jones will remember who the hell they are and lead their team to a two+ touchdown win. Zach has yet to be impressed by KC, but agrees that Chicago is terrible.

My Pick: Kansas City

Zach’s Pick: Kansas City

LA Rams at Cincinnati (-2.5)

The reason the Rams were able to trade Cam Akers is that 2022 5th round pick Kyren Williams out of Notre Dame has emerged as a legit NFL running back. If they can stay above water until receiver Cooper Kupp’s return in a few weeks the Rams might eventually prove that last year’s abysmal 5-12 finish was indeed an anomaly just one season after winning the Super Bowl. The team they beat in that Super Bowl was the Bengals, who did not fall flat on their face a season ago…they just lost the AFC title game. That being said, there does seem to be some concern about Cincy’s 0-2 start. They need a victory not only to quiet the whispers, but to keep pace with the Baltimore Ravens. I believe the Rams have potential to put it altogether, figure things out, and emerge with a better record than last year, but I think that’ll take some time and folks shouldn’t get too excited just yet. The home team has their back against the wall, which makes them dangerous. Zach thinks the fall of Joe Burrow will continue, with the Rams scoring an upset in overtime.

My Pick: Cincinnati

Zach’s Pick: LA Rams