Author: sammano

100 Memorable TV Theme Songs – Part 7

It is times like these when I am so glad to be easily entertained (i.e. distracted) and thankful that I oftentimes use this forum to focus on casual topics that hopefully put a smile on someone’s face. Writing about inconsequential yet amusing subjects certainly soothes my soul. I don’t ignore the bigger issues in the world, and occasionally feel introspective enough to address such things, but for the most part I feel like there are people way smarter and more dialed in who get paid alot of money to participate in those heavier debates (not that it does much good). Anyway, if you need to catch up just click on Part 6 and it’ll take you everywhere you need to go.

40 Family Feud (Family Feud)

My maternal grandmother was really into game shows back in the day. As I grew up I became too cool for such hooey, with the exception of Jeopardy!, which I perceived as classy & erudite. However, middle age has mellowed my pomposity, and I’ve rediscovered Family Feud in recent years. I suppose comedian & current host Steve Harvey helps the cause. He’s funny, and doesn’t creepily snog every female contestant like Richard Dawson did 45 years ago. 

39 Final Frontier (Mad About You)

Tell me why I love you like I do

Tell me who can stop my heart as much as you

Let’s take each other’s hand as we jump into the final frontier

I’m mad about you baby

I am thankful to have grown up in the 1980s for a variety of reasons, not the least of which being that I enjoyed some really great television shows during my formative years. By the time the 1990s rolled around I had other priorities. College. Employment. Adulthood. Y’all understand. I truly believe that the 90s saw the world become more cynical & morose, what an old friend would call “the spirit of the age”, which was reflected in entertainment. Having said that, hindsight allows me to realize that a) I also became more cynical & morose because we all lose our innocence once childhood ends, and b) there were still some very good programs on TV back then, one of which was this nearly forgotten gem starring Paul Reiser & Helen Hunt as NY City newlyweds. The theme song is a laid back, quasi-jazzy tune about marriage.

38 I’m Always Here (Baywatch)

I’ll be ready

No, don’t you fear

Forever and always

I’m always here

At one point Baywatch was the most popular television show in the world. That seems kind of silly now because no one believes it was ever actually good. At best it was frivolous escapism, which is perfectly valid yet unworthy of high praise. The ode to lifeguards, “beach life”, and breast implants somehow stayed on the air for over a decade and at its zenith had over a billion viewers on a weekly basis. The theme song is a real banger written & performed by Survivor frontman Jimi Jameson.

37  Go Speed Racer Go (Speed Racer)

Go Speed Racer

Go Speed Racer

Go Speed Racer, GO!!

Amongst the plethora of animated fare available in my childhood, Speed Racer wasn’t really on my radar. As a matter of fact, I developed more of a twisted appreciation for it when I was a little older, based on the ability to mock the bad transition from the original Japanese to the dubbed American dialogue, which oftentimes doesn’t sync well, much like old Godzilla movies from the 1950s & 60s.

36 Come On Get Happy (The Partridge Family)

Hello world, here’s a song that we’re singin’

Come on, get happy

A whole lotta lovin’ is what we’ll be bringin’

We’ll make you happy

Fictional bands have been a tried & true television trope for decades, with some of them achieving real life success. The show only aired for four seasons and got canceled before I turned two years old, but syndicated reruns breathed new life into a bunch of old TV programs when I was a young boy. The band itself didn’t really become anything, but lead singer David Cassidy achieved teen idol status and had a fruitful career negatively impacted by alcoholism. 

35 This Is It (One Day at a Time)

While you’re here enjoy the view

Keep on doing what you do

Hold on tight we’ll muddle through

One day at a time

In the 1970s a sitcom about a single mother raising two daughters was considered edgy. The fact that it was created by Norman Lear, who also gave us All in the Family, Sanford & Son, and The Jeffersons, dictated a certain level of expectation. In retrospect the show’s three greatest contributions to pop culture were actress Valerie Bertinelli (the former Mrs. Eddie Van Halen), building super Dwayne Schneider (one of the most memorable television characters of all time), and a bangin’ theme song.

34 Charles in Charge (Charles in Charge)

Charles in charge of our days and our nights

Charles in charge of our wrongs and our rights

Scott Baio is most fondly remembered for portraying Fonzie’s cousin Chachi Arcola on Happy Days. His film career never really took off, but he starred in another sitcom that, while never approaching the greatness of his previous gig, is fondly remembered by many 80s kids. 

33 The Price is Right (The Price is Right)

If you grew up in the 70s/80s/90s and had to stay home from school because you were sick, you inevitably watched The Price is Right with your Mom/Grandma/babysitter. Actually, that might still be a thing, although kids nowadays have alot more choices in that scenario. From my limited viewing in recent years it doesn’t feel like the show has the same charm since Drew Carey took over hosting duties from Bob Barker in 2007, but that may have more to do with the difference between being a young boy in grade school vs. seeing things thru the prism of middle age. At any rate, many elements of the program remain unchanged, including the theme song.

32 Moon Over Parma, Five O’Clock World, Cleveland Rocks (The Drew Carey Show)

Moon over Parma, bring my love to me tonight

Guide her to Cleveland, underneath your silvery light

We’re going bowlin’, so don’t loose her in Solon

Moon over Parma, tonight

Up every morning just to keep a job 

I gotta fight my way through the hustling mob

Sounds of the city pounding in my brain 

While another day goes down the drain

It’s a five o’clock world when the whistle blows

All the little kids goin’ up on the skits go

Cleveland rocks! Cleveland rocks!

Jumpin’ Jane Jean, and moonin’ James Dean go

Cleveland rocks! Cleveland rocks!

Hey, speaking of Drew Carey…

Full disclosure: while Carey’s eponymous sitcom aired for nine seasons from 1995-2004, I vaguely recall being mostly checked out by the middle of that run. I cannot remember if there was something else on in the same time slot or if there might’ve been another reason why my interest waned, but it was never really one of my favorites. That being said, credit must be given for the rare feat of having THREE pretty cool theme songs. I don’t know if any other television program has ever done that. For the first couple of seasons & the last couple of seasons Carey himself crooned Moon Over Parma (a suburb of Cleveland). For a few years the 1960s pop hit Five O’Clock World by The Vogues was utilized. And finally, for the majority of the show’s run, a 1997 Presidents of the United States of America cover of the 1979 song Cleveland Rocks served as the theme.

31 Night Court / Barney Miller / Charlie’s Angels

We have previously talked about Mike Post, who wrote several well regarded television theme songs. Another person that needs to be mentioned is Jack Elliott, a renowned jazz musician whose work with Judy Garland and Andy Williams led to him composing three noteworthy TV themes. Of the three, I was really only a fan of Night Court. Cop/detective stories never really frosted my cupcake, but my father enjoyed Barney Miller. And even as an uninterested young lad whose loins had yet to be set ablaze by the allure of beautiful women, I remember how popular Charlie’s Angels became for a couple of years. 

We shall return for Part 8!! Stay tuned!!

2025 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…Week 4

When I was a kid my father was a much more invested football fan than he has become in his later years. I vaguely recall him actually going to WVU games at old Mountaineer Field before the current stadium opened in 1980. Back then the ‘Eers weren’t on television much. ESPN didn’t yet exist and the networks only aired the biggest games featuring elite programs. As time passed and sports evolved West Virginia was on TV more often. Dad isn’t superstitious, but he is a little stitious, so when things weren’t going well he’d get frustrated, mute the television, and turn on the radio broadcast featuring legendary play-by-play announcer Jack Fleming & color commentator Woody O’Hara. Technology is a bit more advanced now, and I’ve had to laugh in recent weeks as I found myself muting my television during WVU & Marshall football games and finding more familiar audio on my phone. A lifetime ago, not long after I’d graduated from college, my sister happened to be riding shotgun in my car when I popped in a Dean Martin CD. She gave me a puzzled look and simply said “Oh my God…you’re turning into Dad”. If only she could see me now 😂.

Observations from Last Week:

  • Perhaps the biggest surprise is Georgia Tech upsetting Clemson. I ranked Clemson 10th in my preseason poll and felt like they were a level below legit national championship contenders but would remain competitive in a weak conference. Now they’ll have to win every remaining game & claim the ACC title to even get into the playoff.
  • Allow me to reiterate…Notre Dame was my pre-season #1 🤨.
  • Less than a month ago, while discussing the Virginia Tech Hokies, I said “head coach Brent Pry is entering his 4th season in Blacksburg, and I’m not confident there’ll be a fifth”. Pry was recently fired after starting 0-3 and losing to Old Dominion by almost three TDs. Sometimes I know what I’m talking about.
  • Where was THAT Russell Wilson a season ago when he was in Pittsburgh?!?!?!?? Or…or…perhaps, once again, it’s time to ask questions about the Steelers’ coaching staff 🤔.
  • Joe Burrow is out for three months. JJ McCarthy will miss 2-4 weeks. Austin Ekeler is gone for the rest of the season. George Kittle is injured, as are Jayden Daniels, Aaron Jones, and Justin Fields. Pay attention fantasy owners, and adjust your lineups accordingly.

My Season: 9-8

Zach’s Season: 5-12

Texas Tech at Utah (-3)

The Red Raiders are 3-0 and average 58 points/game while only giving up less than a dozen points/game. The Utes are also 3-0, and they’re putting up nearly 46 points/game with their defense yielding only eight points/game. Fox’s Big Noon Kickoff show will be in the house, and the winner of the game will sit in the Big 12 driver’s seat. I ranked Tech 14th in the pre-season, and they haven’t given me any reason to move off that yet. Conversely, Zach can’t overlook the home field, so he believes Utah will win a high scoring shootout.

My Pick: Texas Tech

Zach’s Pick: Utah

Oregon State at Oregon (-35)

Rivalry games used to occur much later in the season, but conference realignment has obliterated so many of those old traditions. They call this one The Civil War, although officially that name was discontinued in 2020 because of…*checks notes*…George Floyd, which is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard. Good God…why has our society given so much credibility to a fentanyl addicted domestic abuser?!?!?? At any rate, f*#k those pansies, I’ll call the game whatever I want. It hasn’t been that competitive in recent years, with the Ducks winning six of the past eight meetings. Obviously the oddsmakers don’t see that trend changing, but wow…those points!! I don’t know if we’ve ever considered a game with that kind of spread. I tend to be somewhat conservative, so I’m looking at a 42-14 kind of score, with the home team winning comfortably but not covering. Zach thinks Oregon might be the best team in the country right now. He predicts they’ll be able to rest their starters in the second half and still cover.

My Pick: Oregon St.

Zach’s Pick: Oregon

Washington (-20.5) at Washington State

It’s really a shame what has happened to the once mighty Pac 12. Why the hell are UCLA & USC in the Big Ten?!?!?? What in the world are the Cal Bears doing in the freakin’ ACC?!?!?!?? The Pac 12 will be rebuilt next season with the addition of Boise St., Fresno St., and others, but it’ll never quite be the same. Anyway, the 117th Apple Cup isn’t shaping up to be all that compelling, with the 2-0 Huskies heavily favored over the 2-1 Cougars, who were beaten by nearly 50 points by North Texas last weekend. With all due respect to the Mean Green, that result would’ve been unimaginable just a few years ago. It might be a relative nail biter, but I foresee the visitors winning by 21-24 points. Zach points out how the Huskies fell off under a new coaching regime last year, a season after falling short in the CFP Championship. He believes State will rebound from last week’s ass kicking and atleast make things interesting.

My Pick: Washington 

Zach’s Pick: Washington St.

Illinois at Indiana (-4.5)

It could be the best game of the weekend. Both teams are 3-0, and every victory is huge in the ultra competitive Big Ten. I like the Hoosiers to win at home, but this feels like one of those situations that’ll be decided by a field goal in the final minute, or possibly overtime. Zach thinks the Illini has a slight edge with a better QB, which will be the difference.

My Pick: Illinois 

Zach’s Pick: Illinois 

Denver at LA Chargers (-2.5)

All the sudden the AFC West is in play for the first time in a decade, with Kansas City sitting at 0-2 and looking like they’ve lost their championship edge. I’m not ready to give Last Rites to the Chiefs just yet, but the other teams in the division are looking more impressive than they have in quite a long time. The Broncos lost a heartbreaker in Indianapolis last week, with there being a variety of opinions about how that played out. Meanwhile, the 2-0 Chargers have jumped out of the starting gate with consecutive divisional wins that could become huge later in the season. It’ll be a tight battle, but I like the home team to win by atleast a field goal, perhaps a touchdown. Zach is a huge Jim Harbaugh fan and believes the Chargers should be considered a serious Super Bowl contender.

My Pick: LA Chargers

Zach’s Pick: LA Chargers

Points of Ponderation…Episode 5.25

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

As time passes it has been much easier for me to remain above the fray and not engage in sociopolitical discourse. After my man Rush Limbaugh died more than four years ago it became almost effortless to step back from that world because no one has quite filled the singular void he left, plus I’ve really mellowed out in this era of life. I have quietly remained informed and do follow certain voices online, many of whom are quite informative & entertaining, even if they don’t measure up to America’s Truth Detector, the Maha Rushie. One of those pundits has been Charlie Kirk, who founded Turning Point USA in 2012 when he was only 18 years old. I am certainly not the target demographic for that group, which focuses on bringing conservative principles to high schools & college campuses. Having said that, while watching Kirk’s videos thru the years I always found him to be well spoken, thoughtful, fair, extremely intelligent, and deeply rooted in faith & love for family. I didn’t see his views as contentious or meanspirited at all, just unflinchingly honest. Of course we all know that there are folks out there who consider any opinions (and even indisputable facts) that don’t align with their twisted ideology to be “hate”. In the wake of Charlie Kirk’s murder in Utah there have been malevolent voices victim blaming while using words like “controversial” & “divisive”. That assessment is, to be kind, inaccurate. I am trying to keep it classy, but in all honesty the old passion that used to make me so damn angry & frustrated and raise the ol’ blood pressure has been stirred by recent events. I hope Kirk’s killer is apprehended and dealt with harshly, and my most fervent wish is that this tragedy is a wake up call in all the right ways. We are headed down a dangerous path at breakneck speed, and sadly, despite Charlie Kirk’s preference for civil & compassionate discourse, there may be very little room for such courtesy anymore.

Speaking of compassion & courtesy, or, more specifically, lack thereof…

I’m not a TikTok guy. What I mean by that is I’ve never made a video and likely never will, although I do view what others produce, which is intermittently amusing. I appreciate creative expression, even if I don’t always find the content funny, beneficial, or the least bit entertaining. I am an advocate for free speech, but as others enjoy pointing out when it suits their purpose, while freedom of speech is absolutely a right, it is appropriate in certain circumstances that there be consequences for that speech. In the aftermath of Charlie Kirk’s murder there have actually been demons who made the conscious decision to post videos celebrating his death, opining that he deserved to die because he was a terrible person (for stating opinions & verifiable facts that these folks disagree with). I am sure there were similar sentiments expressed on Twitter, but I can almost overlook that because it’s way too easy to send an obnoxious tweet in the heat of the moment. Conversely, to make a deliberate decision to record a video then post it requires some level of effort & forethought. I realize I am being a little naive & idealistic, but I think those who post vile & malicious tirades should be subject to very real repercussions, including loss of employment. People are fired every day for far less repulsive actions. Such individuals are obviously unhinged and certainly not very smart. It is disturbing to ponder the idea that they not only feel justified in spewing vitriol, but that they believe they are being cool or funny in doing so.

Before the assassination of Charlie Kirk our nation had been trying to wrap our minds around  the senseless murder of 23 year old Iryna Zarutska, a Ukrainian immigrant living in Charlotte, NC. She was brutally stabbed on a train in an unprovoked attack by a mentally ill man with over a dozen previous arrests. The situation clearly illustrates several key issues. Obviously, we have a mental health crisis, which some of us point out every time there is any kind of well publicized violence, but unfortunately the issue is generally swept under the rug by leftists who would rather seize another opportunity to yap about gun control. Secondly, the fact that this piece of garbage had so many priors and was clearly deranged yet wasn’t incarcerated speaks to a broken judicial system that makes the phrase “soft on crime” the understatement of the millennium. Also…and this will surely upset some folks, but I don’t give a damn…the fact that this heinous crime became a story a few weeks after the fact and the mainstream media still tries to downplay it demonstrates an obvious double standard. Had the victim been a black person and the assailant caucasian there would’ve been wall to wall news coverage from the jump, likely followed by nationwide “protests” with much looting & destruction of property. However, not only was the victim white and the perpetrator black, but the murder weapon was a knife, not a gun. There is no narrative to push, so the story has been minimized. Some idiot on MSNBC actually tried to say that race had nothing to do with the crime, conveniently ignoring the fact that the evil piece of shit can clearly be heard on video immediately afterward saying “I got that white girl”. I cannot stress more profusely that we do not DESPISE the media enough. What you see on television long ago stopped being news and became propaganda. They aren’t even hiding it anymore. 

2025 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…Week 3

I am a fair man. After an intense overreaction to RedZone briefly testing commercials toward the end of last season, during which I essentially threw myself into a one day depression, I consciously decided to respond more rationally when host Scott Hanson gave us fair warning before this season even began that “Seven Hours of Commercial Free Football!” has officially been thrown into the scrap heap of history. I was hopeful that we might get a one year reprieve, a final hurrah to celebrate the way things have been & should’ve remained, before ESPN/Disney almost assuredly defiles RedZone whenever that deal becomes official. Alas, there is no pause button for greed & corporate fuckery. Having said that, the NFL’s opening Sunday on RedZone was still an enjoyable afternoon. Any disdain felt by myself or anyone else is mostly based on idealism and the romance of lost purity rather than a tangible impact on the viewing experience. My opinion might change, but for now I remain cautiously content.

Observations from Last Week:

  • Have we been overlooking the South Florida Bulls?? We’ll find out this week when they visit in-state foe & 17 point favorite Miami (FL).
  • Rough Saturday here in the Mountain State. My alma mater’s Thundering Herd were outscored 14-3 in the second half en route to a one point loss to Missouri St., a team in their inaugural season at the FBS level. Meanwhile, the WVU Mountaineers displayed no prominent offense despite the alleged offensive mastery of returning head coach Rich Rodriguez in an inexplicable loss to Ohio U. 
  • The Steelers offense and specifically their QB woes have been the focus of fans & the media for a couple of years, but I’ve been sounding the alarm about their defense for awhile. The talent is there, but coaching is dubious. Despite the victory, giving up 32 points & nearly 400 yards to the NY Jets is unacceptable.
  • Has anyone tested ESPN’s Ryan Clark for CTE?!?!?? 👀
  • Philadelphia Eagles defensive tackle Jalen Carter is an absolute moron. His ejection may not have cost Philly the game, but I have little doubt it cost alot of people money (while others benefited financially). IYKYK 💰.

My Season: 4-8

Zach’s Season: 2-10

Georgia (-3.5) at Tennessee

The Bulldogs are 2-0, but let’s be honest…they haven’t faced a real challenge. Are the 2-0 Vols a legit threat in the SEC?? College Gameday will be on hand, meaning Pat McAfee will most assuredly lead the crowd in a rousing rendition of Rocky Top, so that’ll be fun. Word on the street is that the injury bug has hit Tennessee’s secondary, which could be an issue. I don’t believe the home field can be so easily dismissed, and I also don’t think either team will dominate the other. Whoever wins will likely do so by a field goal or less. Zach likes Georgia’s big uglies to wear down their opponents en route to a dominant second half.

My Pick: Tennessee

Zach’s Pick: Georgia

Florida at LSU (-9.5)

Could Gators coach Billy Napier lose his job if he loses this game?? It is entirely possible after they were defeated by USF last week and fell to 1-1. Conversely, the 2-0 Bayou Bengals are trying to make their case to be considered the best team in the country. Baton Rouge on a Saturday night is a huge home field advantage, with LSU going 112-15 in those games since 2000, and 13-1 under head coach Brian Kelly. The home team is winning this game by double digits. Zach concurs. He won’t be surprised if it’s a shutout.

My Pick: LSU

Zach’s Pick: LSU

New England at Miami (-1.5)

The Dolphins looked terrible in their season opening loss at Indianapolis, while the Pats failed to defend their home turf against the Raiders. Drake Maye is probably already a better quarterback than Tua Tagovailoa, and Mike Vrabel is damn sure a better coach than Mike McDaniel. New England will win, and I don’t believe it’ll be particularly close. Zach thinks New England has the potential for a successful future and likes them to get a big win.

My Pick: New England

Zach’s Pick: New England

Atlanta at Minnesota (-5.5)

Did y’all watch Monday Night Football?? Vikings quarterback JJ McCarthy got off to a shaky start but rebounded nicely to lead his team to a comeback victory. I already love the RB tandem of Jordan Mason & Aaron Jones, but need to see the Minnesota defense tighten things up a bit. The Falcons didn’t fare as well in their home opener, but I like the potential of QB Michael Penix Jr. This is the Sunday night game on NBC, and I foresee the script being flipped. McCarthy will probably look more settled in the first half but won’t be able to pull off the same late game heroics, while Penix will learn from experience and close more successfully. Zach is all in on McCarthy, calling him a future MVP. He believes the young QB will continue his winning ways.

My Pick: Atlanta

Zach’s Pick: Minnesota

Tampa Bay at Houston (-2.5)

If MNF has as good of a game to close out this weekend as we were treated to in the opener we’ll all be winners. Well, okay…technically this game won’t be the closer because it’s one of those odd weeks with two Monday night games, but I digress. The Bucs did just enough to sneak by Atlanta in their first game, while the Texans got blanked in the second half in a narrow loss to the Rams. Injuries and bad mojo may have finally caught up to Houston, who just don’t feel like the same team that went 10-7 and won their division a season ago. Tampa probably should be favored in this game, and I’ll be surprised if they don’t win in dominant fashion. Zach agrees.

My Pick: Tampa Bay

Zach’s Pick: Tampa Bay

100 Memorable TV Theme Songs – Part 6

I promised y’all we wouldn’t have another big delay, and I am a man of my word. Actually, now that my weekends will be filled with an abundance of football action (unless I receive an offer that just can’t be refused to actually leave the cozy confines of my humble abode), it is the perfect time to work on projects like this since I enjoy multitasking while in vegg mode. If you are new here please take a look around, and catch up with this series by going here…then here…then here…then here…and finally, here. Take your time…we’ll leave the light on for you.

50 Petticoat Junction (Petticoat Junction)

Come ride the litte train

That is rollin’ down the tracks to the junction

Forget about your cares

It is time to relax at the junction

This is another one of those shows that I admit to not watching much of, partly because its original run ended before I was born, but also because, even though reruns were available during my childhood, it just didn’t interest me. Having said that, the theme song is a fun little ditty with a bluegrass vibe.

49 Together (Silver Spoons)

Together, we’re going to find our way

Together, taking the time each day

To learn all about those things you just cant buy

I feel like Silver Spoons gets overlooked by those who fondly reminisce about great 80s sitcoms. Rick Schroder never really became the kind of big star that many expected after his Golden Globe winning performance in 1979’s The Champ when he was nine years old, and the show itself wasn’t a huge hit. However, it did launch the careers of Alfonso Ribeiro and Jason Bateman. The theme song is exactly the kind of schmaltzy, soft rock-esque vibe one would expect to find in an 80s time capsule.

48 Gomer Pyle, USMC (Gomer Pyle, USMC)

Gomer Pyle was a spinoff of The Andy Griffith Show, and was almost as successful. One can enjoy Gomer Pyle on its own merits, even if you’ve never seen an episode of TAGS. However, in my humble opinion, the character works better as a supporting player amongst the hilarious antics in Mayberry, and I kind of wish he’d never left to join the service. Pyle’s theme song is NOT an official Marine tune, although composer Earle Hagen (who also wrote & whistled the TAGS theme) did a really nice job of capturing the essence of a military style march.

47 Suicide is Painless (MASH)

I freakin’ hated MASH when I was a kid. Not only did I not understand the humor (or drama) of the well written program, but I seem to recall it aired at 9pm on Mondays, when all I wanted to do was watch a little bit of Monday Night Football before I had to go to bed. Unfortunately my father loved MASH, and he had control of the only television in our house at the time. Having said that, I did develop an appreciation for the show as an adult, though it still isn’t something I seek out on streaming platforms. There are lots of other things I prefer for a jolt of nostalgia (although the 1970 film starring Donald Sutherland, Elliott Gould, Tom Skerritt, Sally Kellerman, and Robert Duvall is rather entertaining). The theme song’s title contains the word “suicide”, which is obviously a downer, but it’s one of the most memorable themes in television history.

46 I Love You (Barney)

I love you, you love me

We’re a happy family

With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you

Won’t you say you love me too

It haunts my dreams. That damn purple dinosaur was really popular when my nephew was a toddler, and he wanted to watch the videos over & over & over & over & over…😱.

45 Linus & Lucy (Peanuts)

When the first Peanuts holiday special, A Charlie Brown Christmas, was being produced in the 1960s, the comic strip’s creator Charles Schulz & TV producer Lee Mendelson battled network suits who were a bit hesitant about jazz musician Vince Guaraldi writing & performing the score. Needless to say the suits were wrong, and Generation X is thankful that Schulz & Mendelson got their way, with Linus & Lucy becoming the unofficial Peanuts theme song. I am the kind of dork who assigns various ringtones to my frequent contacts, and Linus & Lucy was my sister’s tone (because Lucy is Linus’ sister and that’s how my brain works). Though she passed more than two years ago I have not deleted the tune from my phone, and I never will.

44 All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight (Monday Night Football)

Are you ready for some football?

A Monday night party

Yes, sir, this is Hank and my mission is to get this party started

You know helmets crashin’, the crowd is psyched

Cause all my rowdy friends are here on Monday night

I had the opportunity to see Hank Williams Jr. in concert when I was in college. Unfortunately, because that was WAY before smart phones & social media, and due to enthusiastic “pre-gaming”, memories of the event are…vague. At any rate, a modified version of his 1984 Top Ten hit opened MNF from 1989-2011, until Williams dared to criticize President Obama with an analogy that “journalists” & Hollywood types now use routinely with President Trump, which prompted ABC/Disney to do that thing they do of ruining a perfectly good thing for no real reason.

43 Big Bang (The Big Bang Theory)

Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state

Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait

The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool

Neanderthals developed tools

We built a wall (we built the pyramids)

Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries

That all started with the big bang

I LOVED TBBT and was glued to my TV every Thursday night for over a decade. There was a time when I used to watch a copious amount of reruns on TBS, although that phase seems to have passed. I was not a fan of 90s rock band Barenaked Ladies, but kudos to them for writing perhaps the last great television theme song.

42 The Addams Family (The Addams Family)

They’re creepy and they’re kooky

Mysterious and spooky

They’re all together ooky

The Addams Family

The Munsters (The Munsters)

Yes, I am aware that they are two different shows. However, it is difficult to overlook the similarities. Both featured odd, macabre, goth families seemingly unaware of their peculiarities. Both aired for only two seasons from 1964-66. Despite both shows producing less than 100 episodes, their popularity continues decades later thanks to almost always being aired somewhere on television. And finally, both had unique, infectious theme songs that everyone of a certain age remembers. The Addams Family theme has been used for various films & television revivals. The Munsters instrumental theme had a strangely effective surfer vibe and was actually nominated for Grammy.

41 My Life (Bosom Buddies)

I don’t need you to worry for me ’cause I’m alright
I don’t want you to tell me it’s time to come home
I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone

Bosom Buddies’ most enduring legacy is introducing the world to Tom Hanks. It’s also a sitcom that’d never be greenlit in this day & age for fairly obvious reasons. The 1980s were just different. Anyway, My Life had been a Top 5 hit for Billy Joel in the late 70s, although it was performed by a different singer for the show and jettisoned altogether for syndication & home video. I am sure all of that is related to licensing, money, and legal mumbo jumbo.

We’re heading down the home stretch!! Please stay tuned for Part 7.

2025 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…Week 2

I suppose it’s more of a postscript than a tribute, but a fond farewell to Lee Corso, whose final appearance on College Gameday occurred last weekend. Perhaps ESPN laid it on a little thick, but Corso’s swan song was well done, and all of the kind words heaped on him by everyone from Matthew McConaughey & Will Ferrell to various coaches, players, and talking heads felt genuine and well-earned. Gameday has been a part of my autumn Saturday morning routine for nearly four decades, which will continue, although it’ll be just a bit different without Corso. I’ve always embraced nostalgia and lived long enough to see many longstanding traditions slip into the ether. Life moves forward, but a tip o’ the cap to those rituals that make moments memorable for as long as they do. Godspeed Coach Corso…may you enjoy the winter of your days with happiness & peace. 

Observations from Last Week:

  • Quite surprised by upsets of Boise St. & Alabama. I had no idea former Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn is now Florida St.’s offensive coordinator.
  • Notre Dame was my preseason #1 👀🤦🏻‍♂️😂.
  • Atleast in college football, defense can still win championships. 
  • I have officially entered the stage of life when I can no longer hang until the west coast games end on Saturday night 😴.
  • LaNorris Sellers would look great in a Pittsburgh Steelers uniform.

My Season: 3-2

Zach’s Season: 1-4

Baylor at SMU (-4)

The Bears were beaten convincingly by Auburn last weekend, while the Mustangs had no problem easily dispatching an FCS opponent. I don’t think much will change this week. Zach doesn’t trust Baylor’s defense and believes the home team will win a high scoring contest.

My Pick: SMU

Zach’s Pick: SMU

Iowa at Iowa State (-3.5)

The Battle of Iowa is a hidden gem amongst collegiate rivalries. The Hawkeyes lead the series, which dates back to 1894, 47-24. However, the Cyclones have won two of the past three games. State is already 2-0, while their Big Ten counterparts whipped up on an FCS opponent last week. My high hopes for the home team remain intact, and I believe they’ll win by a touchdown. Zach foresees a low scoring defensive struggle, with the home field tipping the scales.

My Pick: Iowa St.

Zach’s Pick: Iowa St.

Michigan at Oklahoma (-5.5)

The Wolverines dominated New Mexico in their season opener, while the Sooners are another team that got things started by defeating an FCS foe. There’s been alot of behind the scenes turmoil in Ann Arbor, but I don’t believe it will significantly impact their season. Oklahoma has been a model of inconsistency for the past few years, but there seems to be renewed optimism in Norman. I don’t know who will ultimately win the game, but I think it’ll be decided one way or another by a field goal, perhaps in overtime. Zach, on the other hand, is utilizing reverse psychology from the jump, opining that he is concerned about Michigan’s defense and an uninspiring performance last weekend.

My Pick: Michigan

Zach’s Pick: Oklahoma 

Dallas at Philadelphia (-7.5)

Hey y’all, the NFL is back!! The season kicks off Thursday night in Philly, and of course we all know there’s been alot going on with the Cowboys. I did not see the Micah Parsons trade coming, which considerably alters my outlook for Dallas and Green Bay. For this game specifically, I don’t foresee a path to victory for the visitors, although the points concern me a bit. Can the defending Super Bowl Champions Tush Push their way to a TD+ win?? I think they can. Zach isn’t concerned at all and thinks the home team wins easily.

My Pick: Philadelphia 

Zach’s Pick: Philadelphia 

Kansas City (-3) vs. LA Chargers

Keep an eye on the AFC West this season. The Chargers could mount a legit challenge to the Chiefs, and obviously a victory right out of the gate would help their cause. This is a Friday night game emanating from Brazil. It’ll be broadcast on YouTube, with kickoff set for 8pm EST (it’ll be 9pm in Sao Paulo, which could affect the players). My gut tells me that the crowd will be in KC’s corner because they’re a better known international brand. I also have more faith in head coach Andy Reid to navigate the unique circumstances and have his team prepared. Zach believes tight end Travis Kelce has been distracted and not focused on football. He also has positive vibes about the long term success of the Chargers. However, he can’t go against the Chiefs in this particular situation.

My Pick: Kansas City 

Zach’s Pick: Kansas City 

Detroit at Green Bay (-2.5)

As mentioned, the addition of pass rusher Micah Parsons to the Packers defense improves their outlook tremendously, perhaps making them clear favorites in the NFC North. Green Bay also has the home field, which could be important in a tight game. I haven’t lost faith in the Lions, but I believe they’ll begin the season with a loss. Zach feels that Detroit is still a better team and will win a close game.

My Pick: Green Bay

Zach’s Pick: Detroit

Baltimore at Buffalo (-1.5)

It’s the Sunday night game on NBC. The Bills are my pick to win the Super Bowl, but I have seen “experts” predict they won’t even win their division. Conversely, the Ravens are favored by almost everyone whose opinion you’d trust to win theirs and make a serious Super Bowl run. It might not be the smart choice, but I’m sticking with my preseason thoughts and pulling for Josh Allen to matriculate down the field deep into the 4th quarter to defend his home turf. Zach concurs.

My Pick: Buffalo

Zach’s Pick: Buffalo

100 Memorable TV Theme Songs – Part 5

The little break we’ve taken from this series was unintentional. Life happens, right?? Nothing bad has occurred…I’ve just had other things going on. At any rate, we’ve reached the halfway point!! Thanks to those who have enjoyed the project thus far, but if you’re a newbie just go here to get caught up, and we’ll see you when you get back.

60 We’re the Chipmunks (The Chipmunks)

We’re the Chipmunks

C-H-I-P-M-U-N-K-S

We’re the Chipmunks

Guaranteed to brighten your day

Alvin, Simon, & Theodore were introduced to the masses in 1958 with the holiday tune Christmas Don’t Be Late, and made their television debut in 1961. The incarnation I best remember aired in the 1980s when I was not yet too old for cartoons but pretty damn close. While the Christmas tune is still heard regularly each December I haven’t paid attention to the various movies & TV shows that have been produced in the last few decades. That 80s theme is still memorable though.

59 Hill Street Blues / The Rockford Files / Greatest American Hero / The A-Team / Magnum PI

You’ve probably never heard the name Mike Post, but if you watched television in the 1980s you undoubtedly heard his work. He is perhaps the most prolific composer in the history of television, winning five Grammys & an Emmy in the process. He also produced the 1998 album Van Halen III, the band’s only one with singer Gary Cherone. VH purists often dump all over it, but it has a few good songs.

58 The Smurf Song (The Smurfs)

La la la-la la la, sing a happy song

La la la-la la la, smurf the whole day long

Okay, okay…so I liked cartoons when I was a kid. Sue me. Much like The Chipmunks, I haven’t kept up with The Smurfs as an adult, but their Saturday morning show in the 1980s was good, and the theme song is simple & upbeat.

57 Love & Marriage (Married…With Children)

Love and marriage, love and marriage

They go together like a horse and carriage

This I tell you brother

You can’t have one without the other

You can’t go wrong with Ol’ Blue Eyes!! I wasn’t a fan of the show, which struck me as rather crass & borderline vulgar when I was 14 years old. I’m sure there was something else on in the same time slot as well, and DVR wasn’t a thing nearly four decades ago. In hindsight I understand that the creators (and the powers-that-be at fledgling network Fox) were being contrarian, intending to foist upon the masses a satire of traditional family sitcoms. I guess I wasn’t ready to appreciate such cynicism yet, which is ironic given how my personality developed thru the years. Love & Marriage was a Top 5 hit for Frank Sinatra in 1955.

56 Hogan’s Heroes March (Hogan’s Heroes)

Hogan’s Heroes is one of those shows that came & went before I was born, but found new life in syndication. I seem to recall my father enjoying it because, at that time (in the early 1980’s), he was going thru that phase that so many Dads experience when they’re really into war movies & TV shows. At any rate, the military style march used for the theme is undeniably memorable. 

55 It Takes Diff’rent Strokes (Diff’rent Strokes)

Now, the world don’t move to the beat of just one drum

What might be right for you may not be right for some

A man is born, he’s a man of means

Then along come two, they got nothing but their jeans

But they got, Diff’rent Strokes

It takes Diff’rent Strokes

It takes Diff’rent Strokes to move the world

Whatchu talking ‘bout Willis?!?!?? Actor Alan Thicke is remembered for starring in his own sitcom Growing Pains, but before that he was a successful singer & composer. Along with his wife Gloria Loring, Thicke wrote and/or performed the theme song for this show, as well as The Facts of Life and several game shows. This particular tune is a core memory for Gen X.

54 A Little Less Conversation (Las Vegas)

A little less conversation, a little more action please

All this aggravation ain’t satisfactioning me

A little more bite and a little less bark

A little less fight and a little more spark

Close your mouth and open up your heart and maybe satisfy me

First we had Sinatra, now we have Elvis Presley. When this program aired a couple of decades ago I had developed a hardcore Vegas fetish. It is still a dream vacation but will likely remain an unfulfilled fantasy. The show itself went thru too many changes and was moved around NBC’s schedule, to the point that I pretty much checked out when James Caan left the cast before the final season and was replaced by Tom Selleck (no disrespect intended toward Selleck, who is a great actor and seems like a cool guy). The song wasn’t a big hit for Elvis in 1968, but obviously people appreciate all of his music now.

53 Spider-Man (Spider-Man)

Spider-Man, Spider-Man
Does whatever a spider can
Spins a web, any size
Catches thieves just like flies
Look out!
Here comes the Spider-Man

Modern audiences are more familiar with the big screen adaptations starring Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield, and Tom Holland as Spidey (aka Peter Parker), but numerous live action & animated TV shows starring one of our greatest superheroes have been produced, with some version of the same theme being used.

52 Everywhere You Look (Full House)

Everywhere you look, everywhere you go

There’s a heart, a hand to hold onto

Everywhere you look, everywhere you go

There’s a face of somebody who needs you

Okay, I’ll admit it…despite the fact that I was a high school student then a drunken frat boy, I enjoyed ABC’s TGIF lineup of sitcoms like Full House, Perfect Strangers, Family Matters, and Boy Meets World, amongst others. I was familiar with John Stamos from his brief run on General Hospital in the early 80s, and found the rest of the cast charming & funny. The older I get the more the theme song resonates. What did happen to predictability?!?!?? 

51 Come and Knock on Our Door (Three’s Company)

Come and knock on our door

We’ve been waiting for you

Where the kisses are hers and hers and his, three’s company too

During an episode of Friends Chandler Bing once deadpanned “I think this is the episode of Three’s Company where there’s some kind of misunderstanding”, and it was hilarious because it’s true. They called it Jiggle TV, and as a young boy in the late 70s/early 80s I appreciated the visuals, even if I didn’t fully understand the urges they stirred in my loins. At any rate, like alot of other television programs of that era, Three’s Company was a product of its time that won’t ever be remembered fondly by erudite, critical types, but holds a special place in the hearts of Gen X. The theme song was, ironically enough, composed by the same guy who did the music for Sesame Street and The Electric Company.

I’ll get to Part 6 MUCH FASTER than we arrived at this point…I promise!!

2025 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…Week 1

Y’all, I did some research. I KNOW, right?!?!?? Anyway, I have been doing these picks since 2012!! Zach joined the fray in 2013. I’m not going to go back and figure out year by year results, but I can tell you that last season I finished 56-61, while Zach was 55-62. Hopefully we’ll both do a little better this year. The college football season actually kicked off last weekend with a couple of rather entertaining games, but the schedule has certainly leveled up this week. As a matter of fact, the slate of games is so good that I am seriously considering skipping our local Italian Heritage Festival for the first time in many years. I’d much rather vegg out at home watching hours upon hours of delightful gridiron goodness. 

Texas at Ohio State (-1.5)

I love the fact that the College Football Playoff now forces contenders to jump right into the fire and play elite non-conference opponents rather than ease into the season with two or three cupcakes, which was always the norm during my youth. Most polls have these teams #1 & #2 (or #3), except for mine. The Buckeyes actually ended Texas’ 2024 season in the CFP Semifinals en route to winning the National Championship. However, Ohio St. had 14 players drafted into the NFL (four of them in the first round), and losing that kind of experience and that amount of production has to have an impact. You might already be tired of hearing about Texas QB Arch Manning, who talking heads have as the presumptive top pick in next year’s NFL Draft without even knowing if he’ll declare early. The kid will either silence any doubters or make alot of “experts” look foolish, and we’ll get a sense of which one by watching this game. Former pro wrasslin’ champ Ric Flair used to say “To be The Man you’ve got to beat The Man”. Ohio St. has an opportunity to reinforce last year’s victory on their home turf. It’ll be a tough battle, but I think they’ll get the job done. Conversely, Zach’s disdain for Ohio St. is well documented, and he believes Texas has all the ingredients necessary to win it all. He foresees the ‘Horns winning by two TDs.

My Pick: Ohio St.

Zach’s Pick: Texas

Alabama (-13.5) at Florida State

It undoubtedly looked like a much more attractive matchup when the schedule was made years ago, but Florida St. has been experiencing a decade long rough patch. Well, okay, to be fair, they did go 23-4 in 2022-23, but there have been five losing seasons dating back to 2018, including a dismal 2-10 record a year ago. I’m not sure how head coach Mike Norvell is still employed, but he probably won’t be if this season isn’t much better. Meanwhile, in Tuscaloosa, Kalen DeBoer took on the formidable task of replacing the legendary Nick Saban last season and went 9-4. That’d be great at most schools, but if The Tide doesn’t roll into the CFP this year DeBoer’s seat will become uncomfortably warm. As far as this game goes, I’d be shocked if Florida St. mounts a credible challenge, even in the cozy confines of Tallahassee. Zach sees encouraging signs from Florida St. and would like to see them atleast stay close, but ultimately can’t go there just yet, especially against ‘Bama’s stout defense.

My Pick: Alabama

Zach’s Pick: Alabama 

LSU at Clemson (-4)

This is the game that might keep me at home on Saturday night instead of out painting the town red, white, and green. Expectations are high for both teams, with good reason. LSU quarterback Garrett Nussmeier is a legit Heisman contender and likely first round draft pick. His closest competition for both (other than the aforementioned Arch Manning) might be Clemson signal caller Cade Klubnik. The Bayou Bengals were 9-4 a season ago, mostly due to a three game skid in late October into November. Clemson made six consecutive appearances in the four team CFP from 2015-20. Last year they made the 12 team field only to suffer a first round loss to Texas. The SEC is extremely tough, so I’m sure that LSU understands that they must take advantage of opportunities to impress against out-of-conference competition. It’ll be a hell of a battle, but I believe the visitors will score a very tight, mildly surprising upset. Zach opines that Clemson has the best roster in college football in addition to an elite coach. Those factors, in addition to the home field, lead him to choose the Tigers to win by a touchdown.

My Pick: LSU

Zach’s Pick: Clemson

Virginia Tech vs. South Carolina (-8)

It is very possible that I have vastly overrated South Carolina given the highly competitive nature of the SEC. However, I am all in on QB LaNorris Sellers, who has the potential to be every bit as good as Manning, Klubnik, Nussmeier, or any other top notch quarterback. The Gamecocks were 9-4 a season ago, with three of those losses by a collective nine points. I am hopeful that the ball will bounce in their favor a bit more often this year. Conversely, the Hokies were 6-7 last season and haven’t won ten games since 2016. The ACC is barely a “power” conference these days, yet Tech hasn’t been any better than middle of the pack for a decade. Head coach Brent Pry is entering his 4th season in Blacksburg, and I’m not confident there’ll be a fifth. This is a neutral site contest in Atlanta, but the fans there will likely need to wait for their Falcons to take on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers next week to see an entertaining football game. Zach likes South Carolina’s defense and thinks they’ll win by double digits.

My Pick: South Carolina 

Zach’s Pick: South Carolina 

Notre Dame (-3) at Miami (FL)

The old Catholics vs. Convicts battle feels more like Episcopalians vs. Misdemeanors nowadays. Notre Dame has done a better job lately of remaining relevant on the national stage, finishing as the runner-up in last season’s CFP. I have high expectations that they can match that success, with junior running back Jeremiyah Love leading the charge. Love had 1100+ rushing yards & 19 touchdowns last season, and could be even better this year. The defense returns six starters, while on the other side of the ball redshirt freshman quarterback CJ Carr steps in for the departed Riley Leonard. That’ll be something to pay attention to, especially early on. The Hurricanes have a new quarterback as well, but he’s hardly a freshman. Carson Beck won two national championships as a backup at Georgia, and went 24-3 in two seasons as the starter. Miami’s defense has five returning starters but they also have a new defensive coordinator, while their offense is essentially rebuilding. They’ll be successful and might even challenge for the ACC title, but The Irish are simply levels above. I don’t foresee this being a particularly close game. Zach believes both teams are overrated, but he really likes Irish head coach Marcus Freeman. He agrees that Notre Dame will score a comfortable victory.

My Pick: Notre Dame 

Zach’s Pick: Notre Dame 

Points of Ponderation…Episode 4.25

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

When you watch movies or television you are conditioned to believe that class reunions are a big deal that everyone is really into, but that simply isn’t true. I graduated in a class of nearly 200, and the attendance for our reunions, including the most recent, has averaged around 30-ish people. Very few of those who moved away years ago make an effort to return. I ran into a couple of locals (on separate occasions) in the weeks leading up to our latest shindig, and when I asked if they were coming they practically laughed. Their responses dripped with derision, as if the idea was truly foolish. People move on. They get married, have kids, and focus on their career. Here in West Virginia the smart ones move away to bigger & better places with more opportunities. Conversely, others romanticize high school because it was, for a variety of reasons, the pinnacle of their life. They didn’t move, didn’t progress, and don’t have much going on, which makes it easier to attend a reunion. It’s important to them because those halcyon days of youth haven’t been surpassed by anything more significant. 

Old man rant incoming…

So you’re really going to charge me $25 for a haircut and STILL prompt me for a tip?!?!?? I can remember getting a haircut for $5. Granted, that was 45 years ago and times change, but really, for a man the haircut process is rather simple & straightforward, and it hasn’t evolved much thru the decades. I’m just trying to look somewhat less ugly…I don’t need financing. 

Thru the years I have been aware of Howard Stern. I watched his movie Private Parts. I enjoyed his talk show appearances. When his radio show was first simulcast on E! I watched occasionally. Though Stern has never held a prominent place in my entertainment landscape, I am fascinated by his descent. The following is something I stumbled across online, and it summarizes his recent (rumored) woes better than I ever could:

Howard Stern didn’t stop being great because he went to satellite. He stopped being universal. The second shift came with the money. And, look, good for him. A $500 million contract? That’s the American dream. But once you’re that rich, the money changes you. And more importantly, it changes the show. Howard built his empire by fighting – station managers, executives, politicians, rival hosts. He was the underdog, the guy being censored, fined, harassed, and punished for daring to speak his mind. But once he became the highest paid broadcaster in history, there was no more fight. He had won. He didn’t have a boss anymore. He was the boss. And with no one to battle, there was no more friction, and no more fire. Suddenly, the guy who once ranted about bureaucracy, bad management, and corporate nonsense was no longer punching up. He was the system. And his show, once anarchic & unpredictable, became safe. Soft. Comfortable. Worse, it became celebrity-driven. Where once Howard roasted celebrities and cut through their fake personas, now he courted them. The guy who once ridiculed Hollywood phoniness was now sipping wine with Jimmy Kimmel and kissing up to Ellen DeGeneres. Then Trump broke his brain. If the move to Sirius dulled Stern’s edge, Trump annihilated it. The guy who made his name being the most politically incorrect man in media suddenly became a scold. A hall monitor. A voice of sanitized, elite-approved opinion. The man who used to mock everyone & everything was now in lockstep with the Manhattan elite he used to detest. And it wasn’t just Trump he turned on, it was us. The listeners. The regular, blue collar, lunch pail Americans who rode with him for decades. He didn’t merely oppose Trump politically (fine, that’s his right), he condescended to and insulted millions of people who supported him.

This isn’t groundbreaking news, but it feels necessary to put it on the record…men & women are different. Yes, I am aware that is obvious to anyone with functioning brain cells. However, I want to specify one particular way those differences manifest. Men are attracted to beauty and guided by sex, whereas women seek security & provisions. If a woman is hot…however one defines it (big breasts, juicy caboose, pretty face, etc.)…a man will be drawn to her no matter the circumstances. Poor. Harsh living conditions. Unemployed. It doesn’t matter…if she is physically attractive men will want her on some level. Conversely, a woman might be successful, wealthy, influential…but if she is ugly & unhealthy it is unlikely that men will be lining up at her door.  On the flip side, a tall, dark, and handsome man with six pack abs might draw interest from the ladies, but if he is poor, uneducated, and unable to provide those women won’t stick around long. However, a man who might not be considered conventionally attractive can make up the difference with money, a nice house, and the means to provide a comfortable lifestyle. Security is an aphrodisiac for women.

2025-26 NFL Preview & Prognostications 

Just when I was kinda sorta almost getting amped up for the return of football, news emerged of ESPN gobbling up the NFL Network & RedZone. I was upset last year when RedZone abandoned their “seven hours of commercial free football” tradition, although if I’m being honest the commercials were sprinkled in unobtrusively. However, ESPN (or, if we’re keeping it 100, Disney) tends to ruin perfectly great things with their meddling. I still haven’t forgiven them for canceling Mike & Mike in the Morning eight years ago. Disney…which is also now in bed with WWE…has become a greedy monster gobbling up everything in sight, and the fans pay the price. Anyway, I suppose further changes won’t occur until next season, so we’ll forge ahead as usual for now. As always, I’ll remind you that I really don’t know what the hell I’m talking about sometimes, so please…no wagering.

North

Detroit Lions (15-2) 11-6

Green Bay Packers (11-6) 10-7

Minnesota Vikings (14-3) 9-8

Chicago Bears (5-12) 8-9

I’m so tired of talking heads slobbering all over Bears’ QB Caleb Williams, using words like “generational”. No, he’s not. He’s just another guy. In three years, if I am wrong, I will admit my error and ask for mercy. At this point though, I don’t believe Williams will be much more successful than predecessors like Rex Grossman, Kyle Orton, or Jay Cutler. Chicago does have a new head coach though. Former Lions’ offensive coordinator Ben Johnson is getting his crack at a top job, and if anyone can prove me wrong about Williams it’s probably him. I like Vikings’ QB JJ McCarthy, but he is essentially a rookie after missing all of last season with a knee injury. The Vikes added some pieces on defense & bolstered their offensive line. Having said that, we probably need to show a bit of grace while McCarthy becomes acclimated to the NFL. Despite the presence of elite receiver Justin Jefferson, a solid running back group, and one of the best tight ends in the league in TJ Hockenson, I foresee a significant dropoff from a year ago. The Packers are being overlooked a bit, which might work in their favor. Jordan Love enters his third year as the starting quarterback, but he’s going to need more consistency from a deep & talented group of receivers, and their Top 5 defense has to maintain that level of intensity. Detroit’s defense was ravaged by injuries last year, and former defensive coordinator Aaron Glenn has moved on to be the head coach of the NY Jets. How will their offense adjust after the departure of Ben Johnson?? That’ll be the key to the entire season. I expect a small regression, but it’ll be worth it if they have a deeper playoff run.

South 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (10-7) 9-8

Atlanta Falcons (8-9) 9-8

Carolina Panthers (5-12) 6-11

New Orleans Saints (5–12) 6-11

While I don’t believe Bucs’ QB Baker Mayfield is worthy of being discussed alongside the league’s elite signal callers, I do think he has earned a spot on the second tier. A season ago that translated into a division title & a first round postseason exit, which is probably their ceiling once again. All eyes will be on Michael Penix Jr., now entrenched as the Falcons’ quarterback. Of course they also retained Kirk Cousins, whose services weren’t sought by any other team given his robust salary. Tight end Kyle Pitts has got to live up to his potential, and Atlanta’s defense, which ranked in the bottom third of the NFL last season, must kick it up a notch. The Panthers & Saints are spinning their wheels. New Orleans hired Kellen Moore to be their head coach, which may pay dividends in the future, but right now they simply have too many holes on the roster. I have come to the conclusion that the Panthers are football’s version of the Pittsburgh Pirates. They hire the wrong people, make bad decisions, and can’t evaluate talent properly. Their biggest issue is likely ownership, which won’t change until it does.

East

Philadelphia Eagles (14-3) 12-5

Dallas Cowboys (7-10) 10-7

Washington Commanders (12-5) 10-7

New York Giants (3-14) 6-11

Winning back-to-back Super Bowls is rare, but has been done as recently as the year before last. The Eagles have appeared in three Super Bowls since 2017, winning two. There has been some turnover on defense, but getting younger might not be a bad thing. Key free agents departed on both sides of the ball, yet, as long as Jalen Hurts is under center, he has his full complement of receivers, and Saquon Barkley is toting the rock, I see no reason to doubt Philly just yet. Brian Schottenheimer is now the head coach in Dallas, a change I’ve been predicting for a couple of years. Expect the Cowboys to rebound from a disappointing season and challenge Philadelphia for the division crown…assuming sack monster Micah Parsons gets paid. The Commanders will be right there in the mix as well, although QB Jayden Daniels won’t be sneaking up on anyone anymore. Does that mean Washington won’t be successful?? No…but I believe they’ll take a step back for now, especially if issues with receiver Terry McLaurin aren’t resolved satisfactorily. I actually like some of the things the Giants have done, but until Jaxon Dart supplants Russell Wilson behind center and young studs on defense gain experience there won’t be any postseason games at MetLife Stadium. 

West

Los Angeles Rams (10-7) 10-7

Arizona Cardinals (8-9) 9-8

San Francisco 49ers (6-11) 9-8

Seattle Seahawks (10-7) 8-9

The Seahawks are almost unrecognizable. There’s a whole new offensive coaching staff, and Sam Darnold replaces Geno Smith at quarterback. Many will view that as an upgrade, but I’m not so sure. Receivers DK Metcalf & Tyler Lockett are gone, with former Ram Cooper Kupp stepping in as the new second receiver behind Jaxon Smith-Njigba. Seattle was a middle-of-the-pack defense last year, but with so many changes no one knows what to expect now. I don’t think the NIners will be as terrible as they were a year ago, but their defense was certainly impacted in free agency. Time will tell if draft picks pan out, and in the meantime alot is riding on the further development of QB Brock Purdy & the always unstable health of RB Christian McCaffrey. I don’t have much more faith in Cards’ QB Kyler Murray than I do Caleb Williams, but if receiver Marvin Harrison Jr. continues his ascent that’ll help. Arizona’s braintrust seemed to focus on a defensive rebuild this offseason, so we’ll see how that works out. I don’t think winning their second consecutive division title will be easy for the Rams, and I’m a little concerned about the health of QB Matthew Stafford, but the defense should be sneaky good enough to narrowly win the division.

Playoffs: Eagles, Rams, Lions, Bucs, Packers, Cowboys, Commanders

NFC Title: Philadelphia Eagles vs. Dallas Cowboys

North

Baltimore Ravens (12-5) 11-6

Cincinnati Bengals (9-8) 9-8

Pittsburgh Steelers (10-7) 9-8

Cleveland Browns (3-14) 5-12

My Steelers have been the talk of the offseason. Will they be terrible or will they be mediocre?? I believe that’s called damning with faint praise. Enigmatic Aaron Rodgers will be the quarterback, and he’ll be throwing mostly to DK Metcalf, who I see as an upgrade after George Pickens yapped his way out of town. He’s Jerry Jones’ problem now. Pass rusher TJ Watt got paid, and I have no doubt he’ll earn it. The running game looks different with rookie Kaleb Johnson & Jaylen Warren sharing duties after the departure of former first round bust Najee Harris. For the first time in several years I have good vibes about the offensive line & secondary. Everything seems to be held together by duct tape & prayer in Pittsburgh, which won’t get them to the Super Bowl but also hopefully means I won’t spend the next several months curled up in a dark room muttering to myself, as I assume Browns fans have been doing for decades. First of all, Cleveland’s quarterback room is unintentionally hilarious. Secondly, Myles Garrett is not the best defensive player in the NFL. Look on the bright side though…the Cavaliers are pretty good, and the Guardians ain’t half bad either. The division belongs to Baltimore, who’ve become the AFC’s Dallas Cowboys tribute band. No one doubts they’ll be successful in the regular season, but everyone assumes they’ll screw the pooch in the playoffs. Can the Bengals be a fly in the ointment?? Joe Burrow is a top notch quarterback. He has solid weapons, although if I were the GM I’d be looking for upgrades in the backfield & at tight end in the next draft. However, Cincy’s defense ranked in the bottom third of the league last season, and that was with pass rusher Trey Hendrickson in the lineup. If his holdout continues it’s a huge problem, and even if he plays there are other issues. 

South 

Houston Texans (10-7) 9-8

Jacksonville Jaguars (4-13) 8-9

Indianapolis Colts (8-9) 7-10

Tennessee Titans (3-14) 6-11

Which teams will improve and which teams will regress?? The Texans have a target on their back and tweaked their team just a bit. There are some new coaches on offense and a revamped offensive line. Quarterback CJ Stroud’s QBR dropped from 53.2 during his rookie season to 50.2 last year, while his passer rating dropped from 100.8 to 87. He has to be better. The Colts will choose between QBs Anthony Richardson & Daniel Jones, which is like having drunk munchies at 3am and your best options are the container of Chinese food that’s been in your fridge for a week or risking a DUI to grab some Taco Bell. Jonathan Taylor is only 26 years old & one of the best RBs in football when healthy, and I really like first round draft pick Tyler Warren, who has elite tight end potential. Indy ranked 29th in total defense a season ago, and I don’t know if they did enough to improve significantly. #1 overall pick Cam Ward has an opportunity to be a special QB for the Titans, but it’ll take a couple of years to build a competitive roster around him. The Jags brought in former Tampa Bay offensive coordinator Liam Coen to be their new head coach and drafted unicorn Travis Hunter, who will allegedly play WR & CB. I like receiver Brian Thomas, and there are some dawgs on defense, but everything in Jacksonville is contingent upon QB Trevor Lawrence rebounding from an injury plagued season during which he only played in ten games. 

East

Buffalo Bills (13-4) 14-3

Miami Dolphins (8-9) 9-8

New England Patriots (4-13) 7-10

New York Jets (5-12) 7-10

There is no question that the Bills will win the division easily. Their focus is solely on solving recent playoff woes & playing in February. The Dolphins moved some chess pieces around, but I don’t believe their team is any better or worse than last season. QB Tua Tagovailoa only played in 11 games a year ago, and it seems like further concussion issues could seriously jeopardize his career. Patriots QB Drake Maye comes into his second season surrounded by a team that has undergone a significant transformation. Former linebacker & Titans head coach Mike Vrabel now runs the show for the franchise he won three Super Bowls with, and offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels returns home after realizing he’s not really cut out to be a head coach. Things are looking up in New England, but let’s give them another year before raising expectations. The Jets are the Jets. I know there is some buzz around new quarterback Justin Fields, but I’ve never understood the hype. Former cornerback Aaron Glenn is the Jets’ fifth head coach in the past decade, and unfortunately I don’t think he’ll achieve much more than his last few predecessors.

West

Kansas City Chiefs (15-2) 12-5

Los Angeles Chargers (11-6) 10-7

Denver Broncos (10-7) 10-7

Las Vegas Raiders (4-13) 7-10

Have the Chiefs plateaued?? Can they make a fourth consecutive Super Bowl appearance?? I don’t believe it’ll be easy, but as long as Andy Reid is coaching and QB Patrick Mahomes remains healthy with no prominent erosion of his skills it’s too soon to dismiss KC. Having said that, I do think Jim Harbaugh’s Chargers will make things interesting. RB Najee Harris was a bust in Pittsburgh, and he’ll probably cede the starting gig to first rounder Omarion Hampton, but together they could be a formidable duo. A couple of receivers really need to step up for QB Justin Herbert, and the 11th ranked defense has to keep improving. A year ago I underestimated the skills of QB Bo Nix, but he showed alot of potential while leading the Broncos to the playoffs. Denver is probably looking at a very similar season in a really competitive division. I really like the Raiders trading for QB Geno Smith, who should be a significant upgrade over the potpourri of mediocrity that held the job the past couple of years. Super Bowl winning head coach Pete Carroll has also come out of retirement to lead the charge, which is oddly encouraging. With the addition of first round RB Ashton Jeanty & continued growth of tight end Brock Bowers there are signs of hope in Vegas, but their middle of the pack defense has to improve or they’ll continue to lose more games than they win.

Playoffs: Bills, Chiefs, Ravens, Texans, Chargers, Broncos, Bengals

AFC Title: Buffalo Bills vs. Baltimore Ravens 

Philadelphia Eagles  24

Buffalo Bills    27

Top 5 Picks in the 2026 NFL Draft

1 Cleveland Browns

2 New York Giants

3 Carolina Panthers 

4 New Orleans Saints 

5 Tennessee Titans