POINTS OF PONDERATION…..EPISODE 3.22 

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

I WILL finish what I was saying, no matter how many times you interrupt & talk over me. Some people have no clue how obnoxiously rude & low class they tend to be. 

In life you meet people & think positively about them. You want to befriend them because they’re cool or quirky or funny or have whatever kind of personality traits you find appealing. But then you discover that pursuing any sort of relationship is just too damn difficult. Underneath the positive qualities that you initially deemed fascinating there is a dark side. At best those negative attributes cause instability & frustration, at worst they make that person dangerous. Not necessarily dangerous in a deadly or even physically harmful way, but threatening to one’s peace & emotional well being. The older you get the more valuable tranquility becomes, and you learn that, despite the great potential that certain situations may offer, sometimes it’s just not worth the hassle. 

As screwed up as things have become here in the United States, I’m thankful that I don’t live in Canada, New Zealand, China, or Australia. 

I have (mostly) stayed away from reignited debates about abortion & gun control and haven’t given “Pride” Month hardly any thought. I finally realized, after many years of wasted energy, that no one gives a damn about my opinion, and all too often nowadays offering up one’s thoughts for public consumption is just asking for trouble. That’s a weird thing for a blogger to say, but it’s the truth. Five years ago I would’ve already written separate epistles on each of those subjects. They would’ve been good reads & perhaps some might have nodded in agreement as they scrolled thru the presentation while laying in bed, sitting on the “throne”, or wherever else whoever reads these things I write plants themselves while doing so. Sadly, just as many folks would be offended and attack me (or unfriend/unfollow if they subscribe to my social media platforms). I’ve simply lost my appetite for such discourse, and that’s probably a good thing. What I think or believe doesn’t really matter anyway. A former minister of mine once said, while we were studying Revelation, that he didn’t foresee America even existing in the End Times, and I agree. Anyone paying attention the past year & a half has witnessed a purposeful destruction of our nation and willful obliviousness from the masses. Trekkies understand that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one, but the fact is that too many Americans never learned the lesson, and that will be our downfall. 

Call me old fashioned, but “separated” is not divorced, so why do you already have a boyfriend/girlfriend?? 🤔

To be honest with y’all, I’m just tired. Tired of fighting unwinnable battles. Tired of being alone, ignored, unwanted, & overlooked. Tired of being abandoned. Tired of relying on unreliable people. Tired of people who talk ceaselessly but have nothing to say. Tired of realizing that so much of what I was taught & perceived to be true is no longer valid…if it ever was. Tired of people treating others like dirt then flippantly asking the injured party to not take it personally. Worn down by life. Weary of being in my own head. Bored. Disappointed in myself for multiple reasons, and disappointed by others on many levels. Unfulfilled. Sad that I’ll never be what I could have been. Disheartened that I’ll never have a wife or experience the joy of a child calling me “Daddy”. Tired of putting on a polite & brave face. Tired of having very little of what I’ve wanted & desired in part due to the fact that I never truly understood how to attain those things. Tired of people who should know me best not understanding me at all. I’m tired, and I don’t know what to do about it.

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