A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

 

 

 

Kudos to the architects of early voting. I was able to go to my local shopping mall a couple of weeks before Election Day and perform my civic duty in a leisurely, comfortable, uncrowded environment. I have voted early in previous years at the county courthouse, but this was even better. Someday we’ll all be able to vote for President, Governor, Mayor, etc. from the comfort of our own homes using our computer or phone, which will be really cool. But until then I’ll take the enjoyable opportunity to cast a ballot in between browsing the bookstore, stimulating my olfactory palate at the candle shop, & grabbing an unhealthy yet scrumptious bite to eat.

 

 

I am a problem solver, so I would like to offer a few suggestions as to who should replace Michael Strahan as the unfortunate soul forced to endure Kelly Ripa on that insipid morning show every day. Ripa has already retired Regis Philbin and now has sent Strahan running to Good Morning America, so I really think she needs to go as well, but apparently ABC disagrees. At any rate, she needs a new co-host and I’m here to help:

• Gary Busey – the idea that he could snap at any moment and wipe that phony smile off Ripa’s face on live television adds a level of intrigue the show has traditionally lacked
• Vanna White – she doesn’t even turn the freakin’ letters anymore in her primary gig…I think she can handle a second job
• Someone From The Food Network – anyone that will feed Ripa so she doesn’t look like one of those Ethiopian children Sally Struthers used to steal food from
• Eddie Van Halen – she can’t keep a co-host, he can’t keep a lead singer for his eponymous band…Dr. Phil could make frequent guest appearances
• Bernie Sanders – not even Republicans can deny it’d be entertaining
• Stephen Hawking – she’s gonna do all the talking anyway
• David Letterman – I’d tune in for that!!
• Jon Stewart – he’s not doing anything important right now
• Tiger Woods – Ripa is a pretty blonde…put her in a waitress uniform and you’ve got gold baby!!

 

 

Dear Bicyclists: GET OUT OF THE ROAD!!!!

 

 

Because I am here not just to entertain but to educate, let’s talk about two easily confused minerals…

Manganese promotes healthy bone structure, regulation of blood sugar level, and metabolism of fats & carbohydrates. Symptoms of manganese deficiency include high blood pressure, heart ailments, muscular contraction, bone malformation, high cholesterol, poor eyesight, hearing trouble, severe memory loss. It is thought that more than 35 % of the world population may be deficient, but one can help the situation by consuming foods high in manganese: oats, brown rice, nuts, green leafy vegetables, pineapple, raspberries, bananas, cucumbers, strawberries, black tea, & garlic. Magnesium increases energy, calms nerves & anxiety, relieves constipation, alleviates muscle spasms, regulates levels of calcium, potassium, & sodium, improves heart health, prevents migraine headaches, and helps prevent osteoporosis. About 68% of Americans are deficient, with symptoms including loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, fatigue, numbness, tingling, muscle contractions & cramps, seizures, personality changes, abnormal heart rhythms, and coronary spasms. To increase your magnesium eat spinach, beans, quinoa, tuna, sesame, sunflower, & pumpkin seeds, papaya, watermelon, and cauliflower.   

 

 

Serious question…

Why are Christians who believe in the Word of God and promote the teachings of Jesus Christ considered close-minded, bigoted, judgmental assholes while anyone who endorses “equality”, “fairness”, & “tolerance” is apparently pure as the driven snow?? It seems to me that leftists are amongst the most intolerant of people. They immediately resort to name-calling and petty insults. Okay, so we have a difference of opinion. Let’s be mature adults and either discuss our opposing views rationally or take the high road and not debate them at all. Either way is better than passive aggressive, childish, small-minded behavior. I’m sick of Christians being accused of forcing our beliefs on people when in reality we have been compelled by the forces of pop culture & political correctness to mute our opinions or suffer the consequences.

 

 

I just can’t do grocery store sushi. Can’t pull the trigger.

 

 

So I finally watched Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I was in the hospital when it hit theaters last December, and by the time I got back out & about it was gone. It is a really solid film…not quite as good as the original trilogy, but off to a better start than the heavily scorned prequel trilogy (although I think Revenge of the Sith was rather entertaining). One must remember that back when Star Wars first came out in the late 70’s sequels weren’t really a thing. They certainly weren’t a given. Therefore the first movie stood on its own because it had to. Nowadays sequels are assumed or even greenlit before the first movie ever sees the light of day, so the first effort often feels like a setup for future films because…well…it is. Having said all that, there are some really great scenes in The Force Awakens. Even though I knew it was coming (because one cannot escape spoilers for five months) the death of Han Solo really felt like a punch in the gut. And the ending…with the long awaited appearance of Luke Skywalker…is tremendous. The new characters are interesting, and fans can now happily anticipate the next installment, which I assume will focus on a mentor/student relationship between Luke & Rey.