The 2013 Sammy Claus Wish List

Boys & girls, first a healthy dose of the truth. Sammy Claus has really struggled to find the Christmas spirit in 2013. There are a variety of reasons for that…..a hundred mostly insignificant things that I won’t bore the masses with. Suffice to say that I haven’t always felt the presence of God in my life lately. Now let me be clear… I have never and will never doubt the existence of God. He is real. I have just had alot of questions recently about His role in my life. As usual though it was my friend The Owl who set me on the right path by reminding me that God is in control only if we allow Him to be, and that of course is the issue…..I have not truly let God be in control of my life. That needs to change…..and it will. Maybe we’ll dive deeper into that topic some other time. Now though it is time for the 5th annual Wish List. As always I must remind you that I have no particular power to make these wishes come true and can only hope that The Jolly One himself up in The North Pole is a citizen of The Manoverse and will see fit to help things along. Enjoy…and God bless us…everyone.

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Obamacare ocare

repeal

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Jimmy Fallon fallon

much success as he takes over The Tonight Show

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People who “axe” a question instead of “ask” one dunce

the strength & perseverance to put away those x’s and find their s’s and k’s – I know you can do it

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Speaker of the House John Boehner bn

a box of tissues and some testosterone

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Pittsburgh Steelers Coach Mike Tomlin Tomlin

a spot in the next cast of Dancing with the Stars

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Paula Deen deen

the last laugh

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Twitter & Facebook twfb

an “Are you sure you want to post this??” button and maybe a 10 minute waiting period

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NASCAR smoke

a new champion – Jimmie Johnson bores me

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Black Friday thanksgiving-turkey-dinner

a return to normalcy (whatever that means in regards to Black Friday) – let us have Thanksgiving back

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San Diego Chargers LB Manti Teo teo

a real live girlfriend

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Ben Affleck AffleckBatman

best of luck as the new Batman…seriously

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President Barack Hussein Obama & First Lady MeeShell “My Belle” Obama obama

an ounce of class

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Autocorrect texting

Extinction. It’s an unnecessary & faulty technology. If you don’t know how to spell you don’t need to own a smartphone.

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Alec Baldwin alec

anger management classes

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Dennis Rodman rodman

South Korean citizenship. Y’all can have him… he serves no useful purpose here.

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George Zimmerman zim

better decision making skills

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The Star Trek Franchise trek

an awesome new director now that JJ Abrams is moving on to revive Star Wars

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As has become tradition I shall end with a quote from the Rankin-Bass animated classic Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town:

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p class=”MsoNormal”>“Lots of unhappiness? Maybe so. But doesn’t Santa take a little bit of that unhappiness away? Doesn’t a smile on Christmas morning scratch out a tear cried on SantaJesus764a sadder day? Not much maybe. But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give…of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa’s beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men.”

2013 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 15

Okay citizens, this is going to be another quick one. Your humble Potentate of Profundity has once again ran into some unfortunate computer issues and I have limited time in my secret Plan B bunker. In last week’s grand finale of college football’s regular season Zach 3-4 and I went 3-5, so our season records look like this:

                Zach       =             34-41

                Myself  =             38-38

From here on out we’ll be riding down the home stretch with the NFL where playoff berths and positioning will be the name of the game. It should be fun.

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New England (-1)             at            Miami

New_England_Patriots_HelmetThe Patriots are like a serial killer in a cheesy slasher flick…rumors of their demise are always greatly exaggerated. All the sudden they have aMiami_Dolphins_Helmet legit shot at being the top seed in the AFC playoffs. Meanwhile the Dolphins are clinging to a playoff spot like a Black Friday shopper who scored the first Xbox One but is now cornered by an angry mob of desperate mothers. In other words it doesn’t look promising. I’ll be cheering on Miami (because I truly loathe the Pats), but honestly the smart pick here is New England. Zach thinks the loss of tight end Rob Gronkowski will have a negative impact on New England, plus he feels like the Dolphins will be extra motivated with a wild card berth on the line.

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NY Jets                  at            Carolina (-11)

I have to give the Jets credit. I predicted that they’d win 2 games and they’ve already won 6. QB Geno Smith, while still inconsistent, has performed far better Jets-Pin-Prothan I thought he would. I don’t think they’re going to make the playoffs but kudos are still in order for having a much better season than anyone ever dreamed they would. My prediction was also a bit off about the Panthers, whom I thought would be a .500 team at best but instead they are 9-4 and look to have a wild card spot locked down unless they completely flame out over the next few weeks. I’m rather uncomfortable with the double digit point spread so even though I think Carolina will win I’m going to pick the Jets. Zach is on the same wavelength.

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Green Bay           at            Dallas (-7)

Nothing would give me more pleasure than to see the Cowboys go down. However, Packers’ QB Aaron Rodgers is still out with a collarbone injury so putting dallas-cowboys-dallas-cowboys-15496395-1280-1024one’s faith in backup Matt Flynn is a shaky proposition. Dallas’ defense is terrible but if the only thing they need to worry about is shutting down Green Bay’s rook RB Eddie Lacy that’ll make thinks a bit easier. If this game was being played on the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field I’d probably go with the underdog even considering the quarterback situation, but it’s being played at The Death Star in Big D so I’ll go with Dallas. Zach concurs.

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New Orleans (-6)              at            St. Louis

The Saints need a victory to maintain their division lead, plus they are still in contention for home field in the NFC playoffs. The Rams are a mess. I’d be 10_new_orleans_saintsshocked if New Orleans didn’t win easily. Zach agrees.

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Baltimore            at            Detroit (-6)

I predicted the Lions would go 7-9 and finish last in their division. Instead they are currently 7-6 and lead the division. This is the Monday night game this week Detroit_Lions_Helmetand it should be a dandy. Weather won’t be an issue inside the comfortable confines of Ford Field, and I think Calvin Johnson will have a big game. This isn’t a spot that Detroit is used to whereas it is par for the course for the defending Super Bowl Champion Ravens who are in a battle for a playoff spot. I’m going to roll the dice on the Lions since they have the home field. Zach…like myself…has a strong dislike for the Ravens and refuses to pick them. He’s predicting a big game from Calvin Johnson as well.

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