My Super Sunday

9:15am

I wake up woefully late and am not going to make it to church. I was up way too late for reasons that I won’t go into but I trust God understands.

 

11am

It is unlikely I am going anywhere today but there is a chance, so I decide to bathe.

 

11:30am

Bathing was exhausting. Time for a nap.

 

1pm

I love Super Sunday counter programming. There is a lot of great stuff about food on The History Channel today.

 

3pm

The time has come to decide whether to watch the game at home or venture out to a local establishment for the festivities. My preference would be to attend a party at someone’s home with friends, but I really don’t have any friends, atleast not locally. I am the token cripple that folks generally believe to be a nice guy but don’t actually try to get to know, spend time with, or invite anywhere. I have decided to stop hating this and embrace becoming a recluse. People annoy me anyway.

 

3:30

Speaking of annoying, Facebook is really pissing me off today. Too many Steeler haters and Packer bandwagon jumpers. I have deleted the feed of atleast a half dozen people. Yes, I take my football very seriously.

 

4:30pm

I notice that Papa John’s has an ad on their website saying that they will be awarding a free pizza every 45 seconds. I haven’t ordered Papa John’s in a very long time (my deep affection for Domino’s chocolate lava cakes is hardcore), and it is unlikely that my 38 year streak of lousy luck will suddenly end, but I take a chance.

 

5pm

I finally decide to check out Fox’s pregame show and am greeted with the sight of Barack Hussein Obama. I’m already in a mood, so I change the channel to the golf tournament.

 

5:15pm

My not free Papa John’s arrives. Their wings are pretty tasty. Better than Domino’s anyway. If they had some sort of delicious chocolate dessert they could rule. I really need to stop eating any & all fast food, as I know I am overweight and unhealthy. But really, besides food and my dog what do I have to fill the meaningless empty void that is my life??

 

5:45pm

Terry Bradshaw picks the Steelers to win, while the rest of the talking heads pick Green Bay. One hopes Bradshaw’s pick was genuine and not an attempt to kiss the collective ass of Steeler Nation.

 

6pm

Reflecting back on my earlier decision to stay home instead of sit in some bar with a bunch of people I don’t know I realize I made the right call. I like hanging out with Rocco better anyway.

 

6:10pm

Sam Elliot?? Really Fox?? Way to appease that over 60 demographic lol.

 

6:19pm

I hate Glee, but the chick singing America the Beautiful is yummy and sings pretty good.

 

6:22pm

Christina Aguilera apparently needs remedial National Anthem 101. On the plus side she actually looks classy as opposed to a total whore.

 

6:27pm

Just deleted another feed on Facebook. How the hell did these people become “friends”?? I have nothing in common with them.

 

6:29pm

The coin toss with the newly elected members of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Sadly neither Jerome Bettis or Dermontti Dawson were voted in this year. I can’t help but wonder…when Shannon Sharpe makes his induction speech will there be interpreters and subtitles?? The Packers win the toss but defer to the 2nd half. The Steelers get the ball first and I’d REALLY feel a lot better of they had an 8 minute drive that ended with a touchdown.

 

6:35pm

No such luck. 3 & out. Crap.

 

6:43pm

So far the commercials have been unsurprisingly mundane. There was a cute Doritos spot, but that’s just because Rocco is a pug so I am a sucker for anything pug related.

 

6:48pm

I am not a fan of throwing the ball on 3rd & 2. If you need two yards and you can’t ram it down their throats then you don’t deserve to be in the Super Bowl.

 

6:59pm

Green Bay scores the first TD. It occurs to me that Pittsburgh should spend atleast 3 draft picks in April on cornerbacks. This is by no means a new thought process…I’ve felt the same way for a few years.

 

7:06pm

Big Ben throws a Pick 6. I have a very bad feeling. I declare “game over” on Facebook.

 

7:07pm

Eminem is doing commercials now??

 

7:11pm

It has become obvious that Commandant Goodell let the stripes know there’d be a little extra something in their paychecks for making things more difficult for Pittsburgh.

 

7:16pm

Joan Rivers in a tank top. No one needs to see that.

 

7:23pm

Hold me closer Tony Danza.

 

7:30pm

WRs Emmanuel Sanders for Pittsburgh and Donald Driver for Green Bay are both injured. Advantage Steelers.

 

7:39pm

Roseanne Barr is no Betty White.

 

7:41pm

Roethlisberger is picked off again. Wow.

 

7:44pm

Green Bay scores another TD. 21-3 close to the half. I feel the strong urge to seek adult beverages.

 

7:49pm

Two things: A) Chevy Cruze allows one to stalk women on Facebook. Awesome, and B) Captain America looks like it might be a decent flick.

 

7:55pm

Roethlisberger throws to Hines Ward for a TD with less than a minute left in the half. Good things happen when half of Green Bay’s defensive backfield is in the locker room. 21-10 at halftime. I think I’ll change the channel since I’d rather hear Rocco snore than The Black-Eyed Peas sing.

 

8:02pm

Forrest Gump is on TNT. Yes!! My evening just got a little better. Now THIS is excellent competition for a crappy halftime show.

 

8:25pm

Lots of folks on Facebook are belittling the halftime show. Looks like I made a wise choice.

 

8:41pm

Rashard Mendenhall scores after the Steelers spend a drive proving that they can run against Green Bay. 21-17. Now, the question becomes, can the defense stop letting Aaron Rodgers look like Joe Montana?? The Terrible Towels are out. Game on.

 

8:58pm

Thanks for the jinx Joe Buck. Big Ben gets sacked, the Steelers miss a 52 yard field goal. Bad sequence.

 

9:23pm

After a some good defense & special teams Rashard Mendenhall fumbles. That’s three turnovers for the Steelers, which is very difficult to overcome.

 

9:29pm

Hey Steelers…the blitz ain’t working!! Cover the receivers!! Rodgers throws for another TD. Holy crap. Can Roethlisberger pull some magic out of the hat??

 

9:31pm

The storylines thus far: Steeler turnovers, Packer dropped balls, and not a single commercial anyone will remember three days from now. Also, where the heck is the real Troy Polamalu been??

 

9:41pm

Roethlisberger hits Mike Wallace for a touchdown and then gets a pitch to Antwaan Randle-El for the 2 point conversion. 28-25 with 7 and a half minutes left. The Steelers’ calling card…dating all the way back to The Steel Curtain 35 years ago…has always been d-e-f-e-n-s-e. Now would be the time to validate that.

 

9:54pm

After getting torched on a few pass plays the Steelers hold Green Bay to a field goal. 31-25 with just over 2 minutes left. Pittsburgh has one time out remaining. Big Ben can either end this thing with a bang or a wimper.

 

10:03pm Wimper…..

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3 thoughts on “My Super Sunday

  1. How did you get a pizza delivered on Super Bowl Sunday? It is the most pizza gettin day of the year. They deliver over elevendy billion pizzas on that day. Anyway, I told you the Miami Dolphins would win the game. I made a ton of money from the bookies.

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