It’s that time of year once again. Your local shopping malls and department stores all have a fat guy in a red suit with a white beard on whose lap the kiddies want to sit so they can lie to him, say they’ve been a good little boy or girl, and receive an overpriced toy on Christmas morning that they’ll be bored with by New Year’s. Well here at The Manofesto we like to get in on the fun too. The rules are a bit different though. First of all, I am only wearing half of the Santa suit. I will let you guess which half. Secondly, no one is currently sitting on my lap, but I am allowing females over the age of 21 to audition for the role of a naughty elf. Call or text me anytime. And unfortunately I wield no real power in getting the following recipients their potential gifts. I can only hope that in between checking his list twice, stalking all the children while they are sleeping AND awake, and stuffing his chubby face with tasty treats the real Santa Claus does a bit of Internet surfing and is a regular reader of this humble website of mine. However if there are any kind souls who would like to bring yours truly some milk & cookies I prefer 1% or skim and am partial to chocolate chip or Oreos. Enjoy.

The People of The Gulf Coast …..continued economic and environmental recovery from the oil spill

Pittsburgh Steelers Linebacker James Harrison…..an increase in salary equal to the amount NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has screwed him out of this season

Katy Perry…..modesty

The New Incoming Congress…..success in dealing with The Obama Regime and returning America to its Constitutional roots

The Republican Party…..an emergent, fresh, interesting, viable Presidential candidate that believes in core conservative principles

The Hockey Player Who Stole Carrie Underwood From Me…..eternal damnation

The iPad…..a much lower price

Rich Fraudriguez…..Josh Groban’s Greatest Hits

The Minnesota Vikings…..a new stadium

Hardees/Carl’s Jr……the return of roast beef sammiches – please

Miley Cyrus…..grace & caution as she understandably sows her wild oats

The Big East…..a map

The Big 10…..a calculator

The BCS…..a playoff

Larry King…..a happy retirement (but no more wives young enough to be his granddaughter)

Time-Warner Cable…..The NFL Network

Atheists, Non-Believers, Heathens, & Scoffers…..prayer & salvation

The View…..cancellation

People Who Watch Reality TV…..better taste

American Citizens…..job opportunities & lower taxes

American Soldiers…..home

Let me leave you with a quote from the Rankin-Bass animated classic Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town:

“Lot’s of unhappiness? Maybe so. But doesn’t Santa take a little bit of that unhappiness away? Doesn’t a smile on Christmas morning scratch out a tear cried on a sadder day? Not much maybe. But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa’s beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men.”

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