The Academy Awards were first presented in 1929. The ceremony was held at a hotel, with 270 people attending. The presentations lasted fifteen minutes. Obviously that is a far cry from the modern televised spectacle attended by a few thousand people and viewed on television by millions. For various reasons that you don’t need to know or understand The Sammy Awards will be using this information as inspiration to scale back our presentation. It is likely that we will get back to our full scale tomfoolery next year, but at this moment in time we humbly extend sincerest gratitude for tuning in to our imaginary awards show, a labor of love dating back more that a decade & a half. This is our way to honor, mock, cope with, and say a thankful farewell to the last year. In the past we’ve had delusions of grandeur, imagining the imaginery, if real, might be televised on HBO or TBS, or perhaps streamed on Netflix or Amazon Video. This year might be more of a Tubi or Crackle kind of show.
At any rate, because we love irony, The Sammy Awards is proud to introduce a comedian well known for his crowd work to host our awards show with no crowd. Please give a warm welcome to Matt Rife!!
After some insightful commentary from Mr. Rife it is time for our first presenter. Actually he will be presenting several awards. We had a really great lineup of guests, but life happens and availability became an issue. Ben Affleck & Jennifer Lopez were suppose to present together, but circumstances changed. Ellen Degeneres didn’t leave a forwarding address. P. Diddy declined to join us but offered to host an after party. Justin Timberlake really wanted to participate but couldn’t find a designated driver. Former Governor Rudy Giuliani is meeting with his financial adviser. President Biden is on vacation, gearing up for one final round of treasonous money laundering in Ukraine before he leaves office…physically…in a couple of weeks (he checked out mentally a long time ago). Nick Cannon is still celebrating multiple Christmases with his children. We could’ve had an EPIC program, but we’ll soldier on and do the best we can, which includes one of the best kickers in the NFL. He is no stranger to giving life affirming speeches, and is eager to share his wisdom, particularly with the ladies of The Manoverse. His team just finished their regular season, and we appreciate him squeezing us in before the playoffs begin. Please give a warm welcome to Kansas City Chiefs All Pro Harrison Butker!!
The Thrill of Victory Award
Nick Saban & Bill Belichick
After a coaching career that spanned a half century and led to seven National Championships, Nick Saban walked away from the Alabama Crimson Tide last January, citing the new reality of college football…NIL, realignment, etc….as a valid reason for just being tired of all the BS. While The Tide predictably regressed a bit under new leadership, Saban found a new home on ESPN’s College Gameday and is better at the whole TV thing than most would’ve predicted. Meanwhile, after winning six Super Bowls in 17 years with the New England Patriots…often with questionable ethics…Bill Belichick realized, along with the rest of us, that most of the credit belonged to QB Tom Brady (and cheating of course), who went on to win a Super Bowl without Belichick in Tampa Bay while his wife was being planked by her personal trainer. Belichick’s Patriots were 29-38 after Brady bolted, so the coach departed New England last January. Shockingly enough he was not hired by an NFL team, which provided him the opportunity to boink a gal young enough to be his granddaughter. The North Carolina Tar Heels were so impressed by Belichick’s skill in recruiting college kids that they’ve hired him to be their coach.
Favorite Television Show
General Hospital
I don’t watch much television anymore, which is odd considering the quantity of content is greater than it’s ever been. I won’t even criticize a dearth of quality programming, because I am quite certain there are a bunch of great shows that I am missing out on. The truth though, is that outside of wrasslin’, ball games, and my stories, the dramas & sitcoms available just don’t interest me to the point of even investing time to check them out. And with streaming, more often than not I’d rather watch an old favorite that I’ve seen dozens of times. That being said, General Hospital is my old reliable. I’ve been watching since grade school, which is longer than I care to ponder. 2024 was a bit different, because GH was always an experience I shared with my sister. I’ve missed our phone calls & texts kvetching about all the latest drama in the fictional town of Port Charles. I realize soap operas are kind of silly, but so are alot of other things. I learned many years ago not to take stuff too seriously most of the time, so entertainment really boils down to what tickles your funny bone, engages your imagination, or helps you escape the challenges of real life. Since the early 80’s General Hospital has done those things for me.
Favorite Sportscaster
Scott Van Pelt
ESPN isn’t what it used to be, and I’ve grown weary of the debate shows that I used to enjoy. However, the reality is that “The Worldwide Leader” in Bristol, CT remains the driving force in televised sporting events. While I don’t mind tuning into a game on ESPN, I mostly avoid their other programming…except for SVP. If Sportscenter is coming on and he is hosting, I’ll stick around. Van Pelt is versatile, as I also enjoy when he’s part of the broadcast team for golf. He is fun & flippant, but also possesses the journalistic chops to ask tough questions and offer gravitas when a situation demands it. He strikes me as fairminded, not cheerleading or being overly critical of any specific teams, players, or coaches. I respect anyone who is funny, fair, and excellent at their job.
Favorite Podcast
State of Mind
My goal of becoming a podcast kind of guy hasn’t come to fruition just yet. I don’t have the attention span I used to, and find the plethora of intriguing choices a bit overwhelming. What usually happens is I’ll hear about a particular podcast or perhaps see a snippet of it on social media and think “That seems cool…I need to check it out.”, then I simply don’t. Perhaps I can do better in 2025, but let’s not get too excited. Anyway, of the podcasts that I’ve given more than cursory attention to, State of Mind, hosted by Maurice Benard, rises above the noise. Benard is an actor best known for portraying mob boss Sonny Corinthos on General Hospital. He has not been shy about his very real issues with bipolar disorder, and for the past few years has invited guests onto the pod to open up about their own struggles with mental health. It’s one of those topics that alot of folks, whether it be an old school Baby Boomer, strong & silent type of guy, or a youngster who thinks they’re way too cool, avoid dealing with or admitting to, even to themselves. State of Mind illustrates that mental illness does exist, it needs to be dealt with, and it’s okay to talk about it.
Favorite App
Spades *
I jumped back onto the Spades bandwagon in 2024, just with a different app than I was using a few years ago. I probably waste too much time on such activities when I should be doing something productive, but sometimes one simply needs a mindless distraction from all the noise.
Favorite Foodie
Mr. Food
Okay, so first things first…it’s not actually Mr. Food. The OG Mr. Food was Art Ginsburg, who I vaguely recall hosting brief cooking segments during the news when I was a kid. Ginsburg sadly passed in 2012, but his legacy continues with Howard Rosenthal, who worked with Ginsburg for many years. Rosenthal introduces himself as “Howard, from the Mr. Food Test Kitchen”. Of course things are a little different these days, because if one misses whatever show the segments air on in your local television market you always have the option of finding the latest recipes online. I’ve actually made a few things I saw on Mr. Food, and if I may paraphrase his beloved tagline…oooh, they were pretty good. Mr. Food was actually way ahead of the curve, because these days who has the time or inclination to invest in a 30-60 minute cooking show presented by a high end chef who prepares dishes we common folk cannot successfully duplicate?? I’d rather watch Howard’s two minute presentation that still looks rather tasty and feel good about trying it in my kitchen.
This seems like a good time to take a brief timeout. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of the downsized yet still delightful Sammy Awards!!
The Manofesto 