45 Things To Do Before The Age Of 45

Night Panorama of the Las Vegas Strip, featuri...

A friend on the verge of 40 recently sent me a list of things he wants to accomplish before he turns 45. It inspired me. So I have made my own list. The list isn’t as adventurous as his, but I believe it is challenging without being unrealistic. And I guess I’m giving myself a little more time to accomplish everything since I have 10 years to his 5.

 

Things to Do Before I’m 45

 

1. Get married

2. Buy a house

3. Spread my seed

4. Become more well versed in The Bible

5. Complete & submit for sale my movie screenplay

6. Lose about 50-75 lbs.

7. Continue my education (masters degree? law school? film school?)

8. Get a dog

9. Rebuild my nest egg

10. Go to Vegas

11. Fly in an airplane

12. Attend the Super Bowl

13. Read the entire Shakespeare canon

14. Take a ride in a hot air balloon

15. See the ocean

16. Learn about astronomy

17. Write a novel

18. Take a cruise

19. Get a job that I enjoy and can stay at for the biggest part of the next 30 years

20. Study photography

21. Visit NY City

22. Learn about and begin the practice of fasting

23. Eliminate credit card debt

24. Atleast pass thru all 50 states (9 down, 41 to go)

25. Buy a suit specially tailored for me

26. Go to the real 221B Baker St. in London

27. Ride a train

28. Eat caviar

29. Be in Boston down by the Charles River watching the Boston Pops on July 4th

30. Try out for Jeopardy!

31. Spend New Year’s Eve in Times Square

32. Attend the Indianapolis 500

33. Become a decent chess player

34. Visit Italy

35. Become a sufficient, competent, maybe even semi-talented culinary craftsman

36. Volunteer at a literacy organization

37. Attend The Kentucky Derby

38. Learn about home brewing beer

39. Go to Mardi Gras

40. Attend an NCAA basketball Final Four

41. Learn sign language

42. Go to The Jimmy Stewart Museum in Indiana, PA

43. Attend a major college bowl game (Rose, Sugar, Orange, Fiesta, Cotton)

44. Work for a political campaign

45. See the Grand Canyon

*This list was originally written about a year and a half ago. Since that time I have accomplished two of these items. I bought a dog and I am a literacy volunteer. In a couple months I am tentatively planning on going to Vegas, and that trip has the potential to knock off up to 4 additional things. Some of the tasks listed are an ongoing process that I’m doing my best with.

Happy Anniversary To Me

Today is my anniversary. No, I’m not married, and nothing else cool and wonderful happened on this day. My life was significantly altered on many levels, and though overall the experience must be classified as bad (to say the least), time and distance allow me to see constructive lessons learned.

I was born with spina bifida, which means that I’ve spent my life confined to a wheelchair. That’s a whole other story that will be dealt with some other time. For the purposes of the here and now what is significant is that, as a result of being in my wheelchair many many hours a day attempting to be a productive member of society, I ended up with an ulcer on my tailbone. It was on this day three years ago, April 9 2006, that I went to the doctor after several days of being very ill and having atleast a suspicion of what was occurring. Long story short…I spent 6 weeks in a hospital, then 6 months in a “skilled” nursing facility. Yes, I said 6 months in a “skilled” nursing facility, at the age of 33. That experience will change a person…..forever. After being released from the “skilled” nursing facility I was not 100% healed and spent the next year at home, unable to do anything like drive or work or actually leave my apartment with the exception of twice monthly doctor appointments. I FINALLY had the surgery that should have been performed originally in October 2007, a year and a half after the esteemed “medical establishment” should have been smart enough to do it. After another soul crushing stint at an even more horrible “skilled” nursing facility (but thankfully for only a month this time) I spent the next few months at home again before being cleared to resume, in moderation, normal activities.

It is not my goal to cry “poor me”. On the contrary, I am painfully aware of just how little we as human beings give a damn about anyone but ourselves. My goal is simply to mark this occasion in some small way so that I never forget what I’ve learned about life, family, faith, friendship and a plethora of other things the past few years. I am an entirely different person in many respects than I was three years ago. In some ways that is regretful, but in other ways it has given me clarity and allowed positive growth.

Copy and Paste

Rest assured that this blog will almost always be, for better or worse, original content emanating from my heart and mind. I do have a few ideas rolling around, but I’m in one of my “not in the mood to write ” moods. It’s not writer’s block. I have things to say.  I just haven’t found the motivation to put anything in black and white. I get like this occasionally. It usually lasts a week or so, then I’ll go crazy. Until then, I’ve received a couple things from friends that I feel are good enough to pass on.

The first was contained within one of those dozens of e-mails we all receive daily encouraging one to forward it to others. I usually ignore such things. Either it’s something supposedly humorous that I can’t really see the humor in, or it’s one meant to make a person think but I don’t find it particularly profound. However, occasionally one does come to me that I do find worthy. This is one such example.

Recently I overheard a Father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the Father said, ‘I love you, and I wish you enough.’ The daughter replied, ‘Dad, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Dad.’ He walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, ‘Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?’

‘Yes, I have,’ I replied. ‘Forgive me for asking, but why is this a for ever good-bye?’.

‘I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is – the next trip back will be for my funeral,’ he said.

‘When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I ask what that means?’

He began to smile. ‘That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone..’ He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more. ‘When we said, ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.’ Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye. He then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.

The second was forwarded to me by a long time friend, and it intrigued me because George Carlin was one of my favorite comedians.

Isn’t it amazing that George Carlin – comedian of the 70’s and 80’s –
could write something so very eloquent…and so very appropriate.

A Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and
smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.. We have more
degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts,
yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too
little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too
tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too
much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years
to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back,
but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We
conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but
not better things.

We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the
atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan
more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We
build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies
than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days
of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These
are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one
night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from
cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the
showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can
bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share
this insight, or to just hit delete…

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not
going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe,
because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is
the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a
cent.

Remember, to say, “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but
most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes
from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person
will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the
precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
moments that take our breath away.