Joe Rogan

2023 SAMMY AWARDS (PART 2)

Welcome back to the 2023 Sammy Awards!! Please check out Part 1 if you haven’t already done so.

Our host Bert Kreischer is amused that we didn’t care for his little movie, but pleased that it didn’t win the award for which it was nominated.

After he expresses his hilarious thoughts on the subject we are excited to welcome our next presenter. He is also a very funny comedian, but these days is best known as the host of the game show Family Feud. Please give a warm greeting to Steve Harvey!! And the nominees are:

Favorite App

Amazon Music
I’d rather listen to music than watch television most of the time. I am very moody when it comes to the tunes I enjoy. What I’m into might change on a daily basis. However, I’ve never been unable to find what I’m looking for on Amazon Music. It’s $10/month well spent.

Infinity 8 Ball
I was never a gamer. I tried in my younger days, but game systems are pricey, and the games themselves aren’t that affordable either. However, I do enjoy winding down after a long day by playing games on my phone, and in 2023 billiards became my jam. I’ve played over 4000 games, which probably means I need to read more books.

Collageable
I take a lot of photos whenever I attend a social event. I might take a hundred pics but end up with 35 good ones by the time I filter out blurry or repetitive shots. This app allows me to be even more efficient by stitching together two or more photos so that out of the original 100 I end up posting maybe 10 or 15 to social media. 

and the Sammy goes to…..

Amazon Music. For the second year in a row my favorite music app takes the prize. My taste in music runs the gamut, but whether it’s classic rock, jazz, or something current that I happen to hear on the radio and want to groove to later on, I’m always able to find what I seek.

To present our next award we are thrilled to welcome back an old friend. In addition to hosting our show multiple times in the past he has won several Emmys and a Tony as well as being nominated for Grammy & Golden Globe Awards. He has starred in films like City Slickers, The Princess Bride, and When Harry Met Sally. Please get on your feet for the legendary Billy Crystal!! And the nominees are:

Favorite TV Show

Frasier
I was thrilled when a Frasier reboot was first announced, pensive upon learning that none of the other original cast members would be joining Kelsey Grammer for the new show, and a bit disappointed by early reviews. After watching the first season I will say that its predecessor casts a long shadow. Frasier 2.0 doesn’t approach the magnificence of its forerunner. However, much like a talented tribute band, it is entertaining enough. Many of the negative reviews are more harsh than necessary, and I hope Paramount+ sees fit to allow the show to evolve and come into our homes for a few more years.

General Hospital
Oddly enough, 2023 is the year that my interest in soap operas stretching back four decades reached an all time low. Many of my old favorites went away a long time ago anyway, and I’d stopped watching Days of Our Lives way before it moved to Peacock in 2022 (a moot point since I subscribe to that streaming service). This past year I totally lost interest in a couple other soaps. The lone survivor is General Hospital, which has been a part of my life longer than most people.

WWE Raw / Smackdown
WWE has some competition from another promotion called All Elite Wrestling, but it’s not really that much of a contest. WWE shows still feel like an event…most of the time. I don’t get as excited about any of it anymore, but I’ve decided that’s a byproduct of being 50+ vs. 20-something. The fact is if I’m home on Monday or Friday night and there’s nothing else demanding my attention, you’ll find me watching wrasslin’.

and the Sammy goes to…..

General Hospital. I said it last year and it bears repeating…consistency wins. I find it difficult to become invested in a streaming show when the next season might not happen for a year or more. I realize the writer’s strike impacted many programs, most notably for our purposes Cobra Kai, which would’ve gotten some love if not for the fact that there haven’t been new episodes since September 2022. Conversely, due to contract loopholes that I’m not necessarily sure I understand, soap operas were largely unaffected by the multiple strikes (actors went on strike too). Therefore General Hospital was available for my viewing pleasure every weekday as usual.

Our next presenter hosts one of the most popular podcasts in the world, and is also a UFC commentator, but I remember him from the 90’s sitcom NewsRadio. Please give a warm welcome to Joe Rogan!! And the nominees are:

Favorite Talking Head (Sports)

Scott Van Pelt
I don’t enjoy ESPN programming as much as I once did for many reasons. Having said that, if I am awake I do find myself tuning into SVP hosted episodes of SportsCenter with some regularity. I enjoy his astute & objective insight, and find him amusing without being sophomoric.

Gus Johnson
Passion. That’s the best word to describe Johnson. Every game he broadcasts feels like an event, and his
excitement doesn’t seem phony.

Joel Klatt
Fox Sports pairs Gus Johnson with former Colorado Buffaloes QB Klatt, with the latter being more laid-back & cerebral. In addition to his commentary duties Klatt is a good follow on social media, where he posts easily digestible videos with keen analysis of current sports topics.

and the Sammy goes to…..

Scott Van Pelt. Having been with ESPN for more than two decades, SVP is one of the few remaining old guard personalities who made the channel great, before it was infiltrated by inspid, woke wannabes that don’t entice me to tune in, and in many cases make it quite easy to tune out. Van Pelt is comfortable in any environment, whether it is a football field, golf course, or discussing pop culture. Any child out there dreaming of a future in sportscasting would be wise to use him as a role model.

At the young age of 23 our next presenter has already accomplished much. After being a succesful swimmer at the University of Kentucky, where she was named All SEC multiple times, she has been thrust into a battle between sports & politics as an advocate against the inclusion of trans “women” in women’s athletics. However, in this moment she wants to put all of that on the back burner and have some fun with us. Please give a rousing ovation to Riley Gaines!! And the nominees are:

Favorite Foodie

Tipsy Bartender
Skyy John actually wears two hats online. As a longtime mixologist in Los Angeles, the Bahamas native posts videos on social media about making cocktails, crazy milkshakes, buckets of jungle juice, and everything in between. He also has a channel called Definitely Not Gourmet, in which he makes all kinds of tasty vittles, from pizza tacos & breakfast crunch wraps to a wide variety of of cakes & other delicious desserts.

Food Dolls
Cooking videos are rarely so soothing. Two Egyptian-American sisters who would most certainly thrive as phone sex operators offer short videos that almost always look yummy.

Mr. Food
The original Mr. Food, Art Ginsberg, starred in brief videos that aired on various oulets for three decades. These days the late Mr. Ginsberg’s associate Howard Rosenthal hosts the segments that are introed by top notch ASMR (IYKYK).

and the Sammy goes to…..

Tipsy Bartender. I’m not much of a drinker, but am fascinated by mixology. That being said, I really enjoy the Definitely Not Gourmet videos and have actually been inspired to try some of those recipes.

You might not recognize our next presenter, but you should check her out. Actually, you might be more familiar with her father, Canadian psychologist, author, and cultural pundit Jordan Peterson. We love Dr. Peterson, but his lovely daughter is carving out her own niche as an author, blogger, and podcaster. Please give it up for Mikhaila Peterson!! And the nominees are:

Favorite Talking Head (Non-Sports)

Bobby Sauce
Bobby Sausalito has hundreds of thousands of followers across multiple social media platforms, where he posts sardonic yet insightful video commentaries about politics, the economy, current events, and other topics.

Dan Bongino
No one will ever replace talk radio icon Rush Limbaugh, but several folks are out there doing their best to fill the void. Among them is Bongino, a former NYPD officer & Secret Service agent who has also ran unsuccessfully for Congress. In 2023 he left his gig at Fox News (smart move), but he’s still available on the radio and online.

Matt Walsh
The Daily Wire seems to be a rather dysfunctional place of employment, but if you can ignore all of the infantile infighting a few of their personalities are worth a listen, especially Walsh. His provocative wit is matched by an acute intellect, but admittedly it’s a personality blend that doesn’t appeal to everyone.

and the Sammy goes to…..

Bobby Sauce. My attention span isn’t as long as it used to be. I’m not as interested in certain topics as I was a decade or two or three ago, so I won’t be watching an hour long TV show or listening to a three hour radio program debating hot button issues. I’ve got better things to do with my time. However, I do like to stay informed and learn, so if a person can catch my attention and educate me a little bit in a succint & agreeable manner while I’m scrolling in my spare time I’m good with it. Bobby Sauce does that.

Let’s take another break. Please stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of the 2023 Sammy Awards!!

POINTS OF PONDERATION…..EPISODE 1.22 

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

I keep seeing people repost this diatribe on social media about being fully vaccinated and not knowing “what’s in it” just like they didn’t know what was in the vaccines they took as kids, the secret recipe of KFC chicken, various medications, or assorted personal hygiene products, and the whole thing is asinine. It completely misses the point, and also includes outright lies. At the end it notes that the proud poster is vaccinated because: 

  • “I want to do something other than just staying locked in my home”. Well, you know what, if you’ve been locked in your house the past two years that’s largely your fault. Most folks with common sense & critical thinking skills resumed a fairly normal routine awhile ago, with certain obvious precautions & limitations. COVID is a thing. It’s undeniable, and it has altered our lives…perhaps forever. But let’s simmer down on the histrionics. If you want to go out & live a little there’s not a whole lot that’s totally stopping you. 
  • “I want to travel & hug people without fear”. First of all, turn off the TV. Stop letting the news media scare you. Secondly, if you face restrictions of any kind blame the businesses & government entities needlessly imposing those rules.
  • “To not die from Covid-19”. I personally know multiple people who were fully vaccinated & boostered and still died 🤷🏻‍♂️. 
  • “To hug my loved ones”. No one is stopping you from doing that. The only roadblock you face is your own irrational fear.
  • “To not have to do tests to go to a restaurant, etc.” Vaccine mandates are stupid, and more people are figuring that out every day. I personally refuse to support any business that imposes such restrictions. This isn’t Nazi Germany.
  • “To live my life”. Let me say it a little louder – No. One. Is. Stopping. You. And to the extent that you are facing roadblocks to the usual freedoms, those will not go away even if COVID were to be eradicated. This whole situation hasn’t been about our health & well-being for awhile. The powers-that-be now have a clear understanding of just how easily the masses can be controlled by fear & manipulation, and it’s our fault for letting that happen. Do you honestly believe they will ever give up that control??
  • “For Covid-19 to be an old memory”. That’s not going to happen. It’s here to stay. There will always be spikes & new variants. Maybe one day the talking heads will become bored by it all, but that isn’t going to be anytime soon. 
  • “To protect us”. That “vaccine” isn’t protecting jack squat. Its main benefit is the false sense of security provided to those who happily submit. That’s fine if it helps you sleep at night. 

All of the (legit) vaccines we received as children…mumps, polio, measles, et al…are mentioned, saying that the poster’s parents “trusted the science”, and as a result they’ve never suffered thru or transmitted any of those maladies. It fails to mention that the COVID “vaccine” doesn’t prevent a person from getting or spreading COVID!! For God’s sake people…think before you post!! I’ve lost a lot of respect for those who I believed to be reasonably intelligent folks that I now realize are gullible sheep. 

My experience with dating apps:

  • She’s gorgeous & has her shit together. She’s WAY out of my league.
  • Okay, she’s kind of cute. Her profile reads like a list of ransom demands though, and I’m vaguely frightened 👀.
  • Gives off a chill vibe?? Check. Attractive?? Check. Seems like someone I’d be interested in getting to know?? Check. It’s too bad she lives 100+ miles away 😕.
  • Super hot. Lots of cleavage. Double entendres galore. Probably a dude. Or a cop 👮🏻‍♂️.
  • Oh, cool…finally, a woman in my local area!! She’s three decades my senior, has a cigarette hanging from her mouth, & sounds like she might be mentally ill. Vaguely reminiscent of Abe Vigoda with notes of Rosie O’Donnell & a hint of Phyllis from The Office 😬.

#IGiveUp 

So, Academy Award nominations have been announced. First, The Sammys are still way cooler than The Oscars. Second, I won’t be watching…haven’t seen the show in years. Bunch of pretentious windbags besmirching what should be one of the highlights of their professional lives by spewing ignorant, out of touch, woke garbage, and rarely do the movies that interest me & the ones that critics adore intersect. Having said all of that, I do have a few opinions. The only Best Picture nominee I’ve seen is King Richard, which won the Sammy Award for Favorite Movie. I might eventually check out the updated West Side Story, but didn’t see it on the big screen. It blows my freakin’ mind that Kristen Stewart has been nominated for an Oscar. Seriously…she has the disposition of lukewarm tap water. Never in a million years did I ever think such a succubus of charisma could possibly win an Academy Award. On the flip side is Will Smith, who has always had charm & personality to spare. Though it weirds me out a bit that The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air has gone from gettin’ jiggy wit it to being nominated for an Oscar I hope he wins. Not only is he someone I’ve actually heard of, but his performance in King Richard is truly excellent. I’m kind of surprised that Ben Affleck didn’t get a Best Supporting Actor nod for The Tender Bar. The movie isn’t that great but his performance seemed award worthy. I’ve seen some comments opining that the latest Spider-Man flick should’ve been nominated for Best Picture, but come on now…we all know that’s not how Hollywood rolls. God forbid they recognize a good film that Joe Sixpack actually enjoyed.

Full disclosure…I’ve never listened to Joe Rogan’s podcast, but recent events have piqued my interest and I might have to give it a whirl. 25 years ago who could’ve predicted that (with the exception of the late great Phil Hartman) Rogan would be the NewsRadio alumnus that’d have the biggest (pop) cultural impact?? One could have made bank on that prop bet. 

Thoughts on relationships…

Ladies, some unsolicited advice: no guy is going to invest much effort in a woman who seems to hate men. I’m as jaded as anyone, but at some point cynicism becomes really unattractive, so perhaps you might want to consider toning it down. This is when the “unfollow” button comes in handy. Sometimes people are going thru some stuff, and I understand that, but it doesn’t mean I want to go thru it with you. I no longer want to be “a good guy”, “like a brother”, or a “cool friend”. What’s in it for me?? I’m not going to let someone unload all their drama, seeking validation, counsel, or a sympathetic ear, then later that night some other guy with washboard abs & deep pockets gets to see her naked & drill her like an oil field. That’s called being used, and it’s not okay. It has become tedious. I have one sister…that’s all I need or want. If the dude with cool tatts & a big schlong isn’t also willing or capable of meeting your emotional needs then perhaps you need to reevaluate your situation. This drive thru is closed.