Not even imaginery awards shows are immune to weather delays, but we’re back!! Thanks for joining us here at the scaled down Sammy Awards. If you have not perused Part 1 please do so now. We’ll be right here anxiously awaiting your return.

Please welcome back our boyishly handsome & funny host…Matt Rife!!

Before we resume handing out awards, we have a real treat for all the honey sauce lovers in The Manoverse. They’ve been entertaining the masses since the 1970’s, but became a viral sensation a few years ago when a movie about their 2010 Reunion Tour was suddenly rediscovered by fans. Here to perform their hit song Taste the Biscuit, please welcome Toasters n’ Moose!!

Wow…what a riveting performance!! That’s a hard act to follow, but our next presenter is willing to try. He’s an actor best remembered for his role as the radio station’s handyman on 90s sitcom NewsRadio, a stand up comedian, and currently hosts one of the most popular podcasts in the world. Give it up for Joe Rogan!!

The Agony of Defeat Award
Conference Realignment

As a lifelong sports fan who LOVES autumn Saturdays filled with hours of glorious college football action, it saddens me to see what the business of bigtime collegiate athletics has done to collegiate sports. There are now four “power” conferences instead of five, and we are consistently told that only two of those really matter. Oklahoma & Texas now play in the Southeastern Conference, while USC & UCLA compete in the Big Ten against midwestern teams like Illinois & Indiana. My West Virginia Mountaineers are in the Big 12 and have to travel to face opponents in Arizona & Utah, because the ACC, where longtime rivals like Pitt & Virginia Tech compete, isn’t interested in the far too small television market the Mountain State offers. The Stanford Cardinal & Cal Golden Bears both landed in the ACC though, where most of their opponents are literally 3000 miles away. And let’s not forget the “lesser” Group of Five conferences, where some really solid programs will never have a realistic opportunity to play for a championship. These moves (along with NIL deals & the transfer portal, which I don’t have the strength to go into) are reminiscent of a narcissistic lover who believes that no matter how abusive they are their partner won’t leave…and sadly, in this case, they aren’t wrong.

Weirdest Water Cooler Topic
Hawk Tuah!!

While out enjoying a night of drunken revelry in Nashville last summer, 21 year old Hailey Welch did a “man on the street” interview that went viral. In response to the question “What’s one move in bed that makes a man go crazy every time?”, Welch replied “You gotta give ’em that ‘hawk tuah’ and spit on that thang”. The video blew up online, and Welch became an Internet sensation. She was able to quit her menial job and ostensibly became quite wealthy selling “Hawk Tuah” merchandise. She appeared on podcasts, got invited onstage at concerts, and threw out the first pitch at a NY Mets game. By September Miss Welch was hosting her own podcast and had cashed in on her bizarre notoriety in a variety of ways, none of them (surprisingly) involving nudity or pornography. We tend to hate such people…folks that gain fame & fortune for no good reason other than being in the right place at the right time while so many others work their asses off to barely make ends meet, but I have to be honest…I’m not even mad at Hailey Welch. She got lucky by saying something funny that caught on, then made bank while she had the chance. She seems like a genuinely decent person (if not particularly intelligent), and the fact is that her 15 minutes of fame will be over soon, if it isn’t already. Hopefully she’s received wise counsel on how to remain financially solvent and goes on to lead a productive life.

Favorite Movie
Twisters

I did not visit my local cineplex hardly at all in 2024, and didn’t get too excited about anything on Netflix or other streaming services. However, I did see Twisters on the big screen and enjoyed it. Billed as a “legacy sequel” to the 1996 disaster classic Twister that starred Bill Paxton, Helen Hunt, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Ferris Bueller’s best buddy Cameron Frye, the follow up once again features storm chasers & some pretty bitchin’ tornadoes. The cast is charming enough, although I’m not sure there are any future Oscar winners among the group. The plot is entertaining though somewhat predictable, and I feel like there was a lost opportunity to connect the sequel to the original. Early rumors had indicated that the main character would be the daughter of the characters portrayed by Paxton & Hunt, but the writers went in a different direction. They had their reasons, but I think it was a mistake. That connection would have allowed fans of the original film to be more invested in this one, which didn’t quite happen for me. In two decades I have a feeling I will still be watching the 1996 movie instead of Twisters. Having said that, in a weak field it stood out.

Biggest News Story
Presidential Election

Were there other big stories in 2024?? Of course. However, I feel like the contest to elect the 47th President of the United States dominated the news cycle. Every other big story was affected by the Race for the White House, or the election hovered over those other stories. Former President Donald Trump easily won the Republican nomination, despite multiple frivolous attempts to imprison him. When the lawfare didn’t work he survived two assassination attempts that only increased his popularity. Meanwhile, current President Joe Biden was thrown under the bus when his leftist friends realized that they weren’t pulling the wool over as many eyes as they thought by pretending that Biden has actually been in charge of anything the past few years. The man clearly suffers diminished mental capacity and has been the figurehead of a puppet regime. When faced with the reality that Biden wasn’t up to the task of continuing the ruse, Democrats decided that Plan B was…Vice President Kamala Harris 😂. On the surface one can understand the logic…an opportunity to elect the first female U.S. President, and a “woman of color” to boot!! Exactly the kind of identity politics that leftists embrace. The problem?? Kamala Harris is a moron. She is a terrible political candidate that allegedly did some rather nasty things to climb the ladder. She is not likeable in any way, and her inane rambling is almost worse than Biden. Harris is the most lethal kind of idiot…one who somehow believes they aren’t dumb as a box of rocks. The Democrats compounded their error by choosing soy boy Governor Tim Walz of Minnesota as Harris’ running mate. He & his wife have got to be mental patients that escaped from an institution. Conversely, Trump chose Senator JD Vance from Ohio, a former Marine whose story was chronicled in the best selling 2016 memoir Hillbilly Elegy, which was adapted into a 2020 film. Vance is eloquent & thoughtful, but not a pushover like former Vice President Mike Pence. The legacy media did their damndest to run cover for the Harris-Walz ticket, but at the end of the day America simply wasn’t buying what they were selling. Most Americans are tired of elitists preaching about climate change, pronouns, racial equity, and safe spaces while laundering billions of dollars thru Ukraine and allowing our country to be flooded with unvetted illegals that pose a grave danger to way too many. People actually trust Donald Trump, as flawed as he may be, to put the economic well being of the United States first and focus on real issues instead of wasting time, money, & effort on meaningless poppycock. If they were smart Democrats would do some self-reflection, asking themselves why the majority of the country has now chosen Trump, who even Republicans will admit is nuttier than a damn fruitcake (and I mean that in the kindest possible way), three times (let’s be honest…we all know what really happened in 2020) instead of their flawed policies. That won’t happen though. Let us look forward with hope, encouragement, and faith that our nation will be stronger in the coming months, resulting in a safer, more affordable standard of living for all of us.

Hall of Fame basketball player (West Virginia Mountaineers, Los Angeles Lakers), executive (Los Angeles Lakers, Memphis Grizzlies, Golden St. Warriors), and NBA Logo Jerry West…Hollywood icon James Earl Jones (Star Wars, Field of Dreams, Coming to America, The Sandlot, The Lion King, The Big Bang Theory)…humanitarian, Nobel Peace Prize winner, and former U.S. President Jimmy Carter…fitness guru Richard Simmons…Grammy award winning producer & composer Quincy Jones…MLB Hall of Fame outfielder Willie Mays (New York Giants), infielders Rickey Henderson (Oakland A’s) & Orlando Cepeda (San Francisco Giants), and All Time Hits Leader Pete Rose (Cincinnati Reds)…legendary comedian & actor Bob Newhart (The Bob Newhart Show, Newhart, The Big Bang Theory)…sex therapist & Holocaust survivor Dr. Ruth Westheimer…Grammy & Golden Globe award winning singer, songwriter, & actor Kris Kristofferson…ESPN reporter Chris Mortensen and personalities Howie Schwab & TJ Simers, and sportscaster Greg Gumbel…legendary talk show host Phil Donahue…actors Carl Weathers (Rocky, Happy Gilmore), Richard Lewis (Anything but Love, Robin Hood: Men in Tights), David Soul (Starsky & Hutch), James B. Sikking (Hill Street Blues, Doogie Howser M.D.), Adan Canto (Designated Survivor), Christian Oliver (Saved by the Bell: The New Class), Don Murray (Knots Landing), M. Emmet Walsh (Fletch, Christmas with the Kranks), Dabney Coleman (9 to 5, WarGames, You’ve Got Mail), Joe Flaherty (SCTV), Johnny Wactor (General Hospital), Bernard Hill (Titanic, Lord of the Rings), Tony LoBianco (The French Connection), Benji Gregory (ALF), Martin Mull (Mr. Mom, Mrs. Doubtfire), Doug Sheehan (General Hospital, Knots Landing, Day By Day), John Amos (Roots, Good Times, Coming to America, Die Hard 2, The West Wing), Charles Cyphers (Halloween, Major League), John Aprea (The Godfather Part 2, Another World, Full House), Ron Hale (Ryan’s Hope, General Hospital), James Darren (TJ Hooker), Chad McQueen (The Karate Kid), Nicholas Pryer (Risky Business), Drake Hogestyn (Days of Our Lives), Alan Rachins (L.A. Law, Dharma & Greg), Scott L. Schwartz (The Ocean’s Trilogy), Wayne Northrup (Days of Our Lives), and Thom Christopher (One Life to Live)…NBA legend Bill Walton (Boston Celtics)…NASA astronaut Jon McBride…game show hosts Chuck Woolery (Wheel of Fortune) & Peter Marshall (Hollywood Squares)…Oscar winning producers Albert Ruddy (The Godfather) & Jon Landau (Titanic), directors Jim Abrahams (Airplane!, The Naked Gun), Charles Shyer (Father of the Bride), & Norman Jewison (Moonstruck), television producer E. Duke Vincent (Dynasty, Melrose Place, 7th Heaven, Beverly Hills 90210), and casting director Dianne Crittenden (Star Wars, Honeysuckle Rose, Pretty Woman)…chocolate chip cookie guru Wally “Famous” Amos…pro wrestlers Ole Anderson, Ice Train, Virgil, Paul “Butcher” Vachon, Wild Samoans Afa & Sika Anoa’i, Kevin Sullivan, “Psycho” Sid Vicious, and Jax Dane…singers/musicians Toby Keith, David Sanborn, Steve Lawrence, Eric Carmen, Clarence “Frogman” Henry, Dickie Betts (The Allman Brothers), Mandisa Hundley, Mike Pinder (The Moody Blues), Dave Loggins, Joe Bonsall (The Oak Ridge Boys), Sergio Mendes, Scott Simon (Sha Na Na), Tito Jackson (The Jackson Five), Cissy Houston, Liam Payne (One Direction), and Jack Jones…French TV host Bernard Pivot…football players Andy Russell (Pittsburgh Steelers), Mercury Morris (Miami Dolphins), Vontae Davis (Indianapolis Colts), Roman Gabriel, Jim Otto (Oakland Raiders), Larry Allen (Dallas Cowboys), Jacoby Jones (Baltimore Ravens), Khyree Jackson (Minnesota Vikings), Duane Thomas (Dallas Cowboys), Greg Landry (Baltimore Colts), coaches Joe Collier (Denver Broncos), Monte Kiffin (Tampa Bay Buccaneers), John Robinson (Los Angeles Rams, USC Trojans), & Gerry Faust (Notre Dame Fighting Irish & Akron Zips), and team executive Bill Tobin (Chicago Bears)…newscasters Charles Osgood, Robert MacNeil, Lou Dobbs, Tom Jarriel, and Aaron Brown…Pop-Tarts inventor William Post…golfer & broadcaster Peter Oosterhuis and PGA golfer Grayson Murray…infamous actor, Ford Bronco enthusiast, and alleged murderer OJ Simpson…Pulitzer Prize winning TV critic Tom Shales…former NFL referee Jim Tunney…actresses Shannen Doherty (Beverly Hills 90210), Teri Garr (Young Frankenstein, Mr. Mom), Shelley Duvall (The Shining, Popeye), Dame Maggie Smith (Harry Potter, Hook, Sister Act), Glynis Johns (Mary Poppins, The Ref), Joyce Randolph (The Honeymooners), Chita Rivera (West Side Story), Ann Whitfield (White Christmas), Marla Adams (The Young & The Restless), Susan Buckner (Grease), Gena Rowlands (Hope Floats, The Notebook), and Linda Lavin (Alice)…MLB players Fernando Valenzuela (Los Angeles Dodgers), Ed Ott (Pittsburgh Pirates), Jose DeLeon (Pittsburgh Pirates), Luis Tiant(Cleveland Indians, Boston Red Sox), U.L. Washington (Kansas City Royals), and managers Jimy Williams (Boston Red Sox, Toronto Blue Jays) & Whitey Herzog (St. Louis Cardinals)…former U.S. Senator (Connecticut) & Vice Presidential candidate Joseph Lieberman, former Florida Governor Bob Graham, former Arkansas Governor, Congressman, & Senator David Pryor, U.S. Senator Sheila Jackson Lee (Texas)…travel writer Arthur Frommer…basketball players Dikembe Mutombo (Denver Nuggets, Atlanta Hawks, Houston Rockets), Robert Reid (Houston Rockets), coaches Lefty Driesell (Maryland Terrapins) & Lou Carnesecca (St. John’s Redmen), and NBA executive Pat Williams (Orlando Magic)…notorious Wall St. trader Ivan Boesky…Apollo 8 astronaut William Anders…1963 Indianapolis 500 winner Parnelli Jones & three time Daytona 500 winner Bobby Allison…songwriters Mark James (Always on My Mind, Hooked on a Feeling, Suspicious Minds), Will Jennings (Up Where We Belong, Higher Love, Tears in Heaven, My Heart Will Go On), and JD Souther (Best of My Love, Heartache Tonight, New Kid in Town)…Judith Belushi-Pisano (widow of John Belushi)…documentary filmmaker Morgan Spurlock (Super Size Me)…famous gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi…Ethel Kennedy (widow of Robert F. Kennedy)