A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..
When the Frasier reboot on Paramount+ was announced a few years ago I was SO excited. OG Frasier is one of the best sitcoms of all time, and I just knew the reboot would be fantastic. Then the first season premiered in October 2023, and though I was pleased to see my pal Dr. Crane onscreen once again, it just didn’t have the same je ne sais quoi. It was a pleasant enough show, but unremarkable. What made the original great was a) the ensemble & b) superb writing. Neither element worked in the follow-up. Season 2 premiered last September, and four months later I have not watched a single episode. I’ll get around to it eventually, but my lack of enthusiasm is obvious. Now it has been announced that Paramount+ canceled the series. I suppose another streaming platform may extend a lifeline, and if that happens I hope the powers-that-be will make necessary changes and inject the show with moxie & palpable wit. However, if this is the end of the road for Frasier Crane that’s okay too. His formidable legacy remains largely unscathed.
I have considered becoming a “content creator” for various reasons, but the truth is that I’m not that creative, and despite being an infrequent blogger my assumption is that no one would have much interest in my spin on things. Since I have never created a video & likely never will, the comically brief TikTok ban here in the United States had virtually no impact on my life. Having said that, I am generally not in favor of banning things, especially when no one can properly articulate the harm. First of all, why are we trying to ban an app because it is owned by a Chinese company, yet we have allowed China to buy a whole lot of American land?? Which is more detrimental or potentially outright dangerous?? Secondly, if one is concerned about social media manipulation, then let’s ban Facebook, Instagram, Twitter/X, and Google as well, since we all understand the social engineering & political machinations those entities have engaged in. I’ll cop to ignorance of the details in this situation, but isn’t TikTok a mostly innocuous platform for kids & very lonely adults to post silly and largely inconsequential videos that provide brief snippets of entertainment?? Am I being naive?? Biden, Trump, or someone stepped in to negotiate a compromise, and I assume the long term hope is for TikTok to be purchased by an American company, which would assuage most concerns. Or perhaps the entrepreneurial spirit will eventually prevail and a new & improved app that provides all the same bells & whistles will emerge. Y’all keep me posted…I’ll be here reading a book.
A few thoughts on the recent Presidential Inauguration:
Whether the event was moved indoors due to cold weather (the official explanation) or there were safety concerns (likely valid) in the wake of previous attempts on President Trump’s life, it’s a shame because it truly diminished the ceremony’s usual majesty.
I don’t share others’ concerns about a perceived oligarchy, but it was odd to see Big Tech billionaires like Mark Zuckerberg & Jeff Bezos sitting in such prominent positions. I suppose Trump might be playing chess by employing a Corleone inspired “keep your enemies closer” strategy, but it was a slightly disturbing visual given the manipulation those folks have participated in the past few years. Leftists scoff at conservative allegations about the Soros Family, but part of that is because they are smart enough to remain mostly in the shadows and the politicians they…influence…retain plausible deniability.
Speaking of the tech guys…no, Elon Musk was not giving a freakin’ Nazi salute. If you believe that you’re exactly the kind of simpleton the media has been playing like a fiddle for decades. Trust me when I tell you…the Trump Administration, just like anyone else in power, will make their fair share of mistakes & miscalculations that’ll be justly criticized. Y’all don’t need to fabricate BS.
Kudos to Carrie Underwood, who reacted with grace under fire when there was an equipment malfunction. I don’t know enough about such things to opine, but I realize it wasn’t an ideal setup or the arrangement she was expecting at all. It turned out to be a happy accident though, as I think most would agree that Ms. Underwood’s acappella performance of America the Beautiful was powerful & inspiring.
I am not a Presidential scholar, but the concepts of “preemptive” pardons & executive orders make me a bit squeamish no matter which political party is wielding the pen. They seem like rather dictatorial ideas for a constitutional republic.
It was a lovely spring weekend, a week or two before Mother’s Day as I recall. My original plan was to vegg out and be a total waste of space, but, as we’re told in the 19th chapter of Proverbs, “there are many plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails”, so when my neighbor texted me I was persuaded to pivot. There is an indoor flea market just down the road that’s open only on weekends, and we’d been there once before. I wasn’t particularly enamored, but he wanted to see if they still had a certain item. Before long, off we went to The Swap Meet, and as I was driving I realized that there was indeed a purpose for the task other than being a benevolent neighbor.
For Christmas my father had gotten each of us a leather keychain with our name engraved. Nothing fancy or extravagant, but practical with a personal touch. Both my sister & I had grown beyond focusing on Christmas gifts as a big deal, and my nephews are fully grown adults. I’m a gift card guy, because I just don’t enjoy the hustle & bustle of the whole retail scene as much as I used to, and, like my Dad, I tend to lean toward pragmatism. Truth be told, Christmas hadn’t been the same for DaLynn, Dad, or myself since Mom passed more than two decades ago. In recent years we’d actually gone out to eat for Christmas a few times, but it’s tough to find a place open on the actual day unless you really like Chinese food. At any rate, my nephews were insistent that we not go out this time. They wanted to gather at their mother’s place and volunteered to cook. It would be the last time all of us were together, atleast under positive circumstances.
My sister had been in poor health for several years. She was immunocompromised, and when the world was brought to its knees by The Pandemic, she had to exercise caution. Once upon a time DaLynn had been a person always on the go, but that changed. To say she rarely felt good would be an understatement. We talked & texted almost daily, but didn’t have the opportunity to be together as often the past several years. Having said that, though I valued those infrequent gatherings, I always presumed there’d be many more. If the thought of my “golden years” shuffled fleetingly thru my mind she was there. Of course she’d be there. We’d be texting, talking, and celebrating Christmas in one way or another when we were grey & wrinkly. There are many plans in a man’s heart, right??
Events unfolded rapidly in the new year. DaLynn never felt great, but this was different and she knew it. She went to a doctor and did all the things. She fought it…hard. Eventually though she had to call EMS and be transported to the hospital. Her oxygen was dangerously low. Covid/Pneumonia. The medical team threw everything at the situation they possibly could. My nephews stayed at the hospital night & day. My Dad & I were there as much as possible. She did NOT want to be put on a ventilator, but there simply was no choice. Sadly, all efforts were in vain, and two weeks before her 54th birthday, the five of us were once again together, but it was a much different situation. For the first time in my life I witnessed a person take their final breath. And not just any person. She was the person who knew me best. The person with whom I could share my darkest thoughts, or laugh with about things that only we understood. The person who I could talk to about everything & nothing. The person who knew when I needed understanding & encouragement, or a slap upside the head. The only person other than my parents who knew me my entire life. And now, just a few weeks after that lovely Christmas Day, she was gone.
As the events that typically follow a person’s departure from this realm came & went and the world began to move forward, Dad & the nephews went to DaLynn’s humble abode to gather her belongings. I knew I’d only be in the way and left them to complete the task. They asked me about a few items that I might want, and I did end up taking some stuff, but the only thing I specifically requested was the keychain that had been my father’s Christmas gift. Why?? I don’t really know. Perhaps I thought that seeing her name every day would make me feel close to her. I suppose it is a sort of talisman, although I fully realize it has no magic powers and had no expectations that it’d bring me good fortune. Sometimes an explanation isn’t necessary. Sadly, whether it happened at her apartment or occurred between transporting it from her place to my nephew’s house then eventually into my hands, the keychain suffered water damage. If you’ve observed such misfortune with leather you understand. If you haven’t, I’ll just say that it isn’t pretty.
I am tempted to say that I was devastated, but let’s be honest…the devastation had occurred much earlier in that hospital room. The ruination of the keychain was a spinoff that stirred emotions, like shaking a can of soda. I immediately began researching methods of repair, and probably spent more money on a jar of restorative salve than the keychain originally cost. It helped a little bit, but the engraved name remained barely legible. Not long after that, I found myself driving to The Swap Meet instead of staying in as I had intended. There are many plans in a man’s heart.
That’s when the realization happened. I remembered that there was a Leather Guy at The Swap Meet that sold & engraved such items. Maybe he could help…if he was there. This is the kind of place that might have different vendors each week, and it had been awhile. Thankfully he was there, and I showed him the key chain. As it turns out, one method of repairing water damaged leather is…more water. Who knew?? He also told me that he could fix the lettering…kind of. He didn’t have the exact tool needed, but he could get close. Or…or…he could fix it almost perfectly, depending on how much time I had. Now I would have been willing to stay there all day. Maybe even hang out at this man’s house if that’s what it took. As it turns out, he wanted to know if I could stick around for 45 minutes while he meticulously traced the lettering. Those terms were more than acceptable.
While he was doing the work I wandered around and landed at a table selling peanut butter fudge, engaging in a delightful conversation with the two ladies there. They asked me what Leather Guy was doing for me and I told them the story. It is likely that I overshared (sort of like I am right now), but we had quite the little chat about death and losing loved ones. I certainly didn’t see that coming. I absolutely don’t need to be consuming fudge, but bought some anyway. There are many plans in a man’s heart.
The gentleman sought me out when he was finished, and it was…overwhelming. There are three rooms at The Swap Meet, the last one being the smallest. After paying him far less than he deserved for what he’d just done, I found myself in that third room alone. It wasn’t the first time I had cried. For awhile, gentle weeping or even outright sobbing was a nightly occurrence for me, but I was usually home alone. I don’t fully understand why my sister’s death feels like it hit me harder than Mom’s 20+ years earlier, but I have formed an opinion or two. I had alot more going on back then. I was busier. I was involved in things. There were more distractions. Now, I have too much time to think. Perhaps it isn’t uncommon to be more emotional as we grow older. Or maybe I just understand loss on a deeper level than I did in those days. Sometimes things defy explanation. I didn’t want to be sitting there at an indoor flea market with tears running down my face, but…there are many plans in a man’s heart.
Time does indeed fly, and I can’t quite wrap my head around DaLynn being gone for a full year. Like most people, I have photos. I have old texts that I’ll never erase. Much to my dismay, because we texted so much and I always made myself available to talk when she could, I do not have any voicemails. Believe me, I have searched my phone in futility on multiple occasions, desperate to hear her voice again. And I have the keychain. A meaningless trinket?? For most people, sure. When I look at it though, I am reminded of her. I am able to recall a lifetime of memories. Family gatherings. Silly disagreements & epic fights. Birthday parties, graduations, and church youth events. Sitting around the dinner table, watching the big ol’ TV in our living room, and playing Atari in her room. Washing dishes after supper. Holding my newborn nephews after their arrivals and watching her be a good Mom by being a rather impressive facsimile of the mother that we grieved together. Sharing secrets and talking about things that no one else ever knew. Laughter, tears, and everything in between.
She is gone…physically, and we continue to deal with that daily. A piece of my soul will be missing forever. However, what she left behind remains. Her sons. Those memories. And the keychain. I didn’t think I’d be going out that day, yet…there are many plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
Not even imaginery awards shows are immune to weather delays, but we’re back!! Thanks for joining us here at the scaled down Sammy Awards. If you have not perused Part 1 please do so now. We’ll be right here anxiously awaiting your return.
Please welcome back our boyishly handsome & funny host…Matt Rife!!
Before we resume handing out awards, we have a real treat for all the honey sauce lovers in The Manoverse. They’ve been entertaining the masses since the 1970’s, but became a viral sensation a few years ago when a movie about their 2010 Reunion Tour was suddenly rediscovered by fans. Here to perform their hit song TastetheBiscuit, please welcome Toasters n’ Moose!!
Wow…what a riveting performance!! That’s a hard act to follow, but our next presenter is willing to try. He’s an actor best remembered for his role as the radio station’s handyman on 90s sitcom NewsRadio, a stand up comedian, and currently hosts one of the most popular podcasts in the world. Give it up for Joe Rogan!!
TheAgonyofDefeatAward ConferenceRealignment
As a lifelong sports fan who LOVES autumn Saturdays filled with hours of glorious college football action, it saddens me to see what the business of bigtime collegiate athletics has done to collegiate sports. There are now four “power” conferences instead of five, and we are consistently told that only two of those really matter. Oklahoma & Texas now play in the Southeastern Conference, while USC & UCLA compete in the Big Ten against midwestern teams like Illinois & Indiana. My West Virginia Mountaineers are in the Big 12 and have to travel to face opponents in Arizona & Utah, because the ACC, where longtime rivals like Pitt & Virginia Tech compete, isn’t interested in the far too small television market the Mountain State offers. The Stanford Cardinal & Cal Golden Bears both landed in the ACC though, where most of their opponents are literally 3000 miles away. And let’s not forget the “lesser” Group of Five conferences, where some really solid programs will never have a realistic opportunity to play for a championship. These moves (along with NIL deals & the transfer portal, which I don’t have the strength to go into) are reminiscent of a narcissistic lover who believes that no matter how abusive they are their partner won’t leave…and sadly, in this case, they aren’t wrong.
Weirdest WaterCoolerTopic Hawk Tuah!!
While out enjoying a night of drunken revelry in Nashville last summer, 21 year old Hailey Welch did a “man on the street” interview that went viral. In response to the question “What’s one move in bed that makes a man go crazy every time?”, Welch replied “You gotta give ’em that ‘hawk tuah’ and spit on that thang”. The video blew up online, and Welch became an Internet sensation. She was able to quit her menial job and ostensibly became quite wealthy selling “Hawk Tuah” merchandise. She appeared on podcasts, got invited onstage at concerts, and threw out the first pitch at a NY Mets game. By September Miss Welch was hosting her own podcast and had cashed in on her bizarre notoriety in a variety of ways, none of them (surprisingly) involving nudity or pornography. We tend to hate such people…folks that gain fame & fortune for no good reason other than being in the right place at the right time while so many others work their asses off to barely make ends meet, but I have to be honest…I’m not even mad at Hailey Welch. She got lucky by saying something funny that caught on, then made bank while she had the chance. She seems like a genuinely decent person (if not particularly intelligent), and the fact is that her 15 minutes of fame will be over soon, if it isn’t already. Hopefully she’s received wise counsel on how to remain financially solvent and goes on to lead a productive life.
FavoriteMovie Twisters
I did not visit my local cineplex hardly at all in 2024, and didn’t get too excited about anything on Netflix or other streaming services. However, I did see Twisters on the big screen and enjoyed it. Billed as a “legacy sequel” to the 1996 disaster classic Twister that starred Bill Paxton, Helen Hunt, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Ferris Bueller’s best buddy Cameron Frye, the follow up once again features storm chasers & some pretty bitchin’ tornadoes. The cast is charming enough, although I’m not sure there are any future Oscar winners among the group. The plot is entertaining though somewhat predictable, and I feel like there was a lost opportunity to connect the sequel to the original. Early rumors had indicated that the main character would be the daughter of the characters portrayed by Paxton & Hunt, but the writers went in a different direction. They had their reasons, but I think it was a mistake. That connection would have allowed fans of the original film to be more invested in this one, which didn’t quite happen for me. In two decades I have a feeling I will still be watching the 1996 movie instead of Twisters. Having said that, in a weak field it stood out.
BiggestNewsStory Presidential Election
Were there other big stories in 2024?? Of course. However, I feel like the contest to elect the 47th President of the United States dominated the news cycle. Every other big story was affected by the Race for the White House, or the election hovered over those other stories. Former President Donald Trump easily won the Republican nomination, despite multiple frivolous attempts to imprison him. When the lawfare didn’t work he survived two assassination attempts that only increased his popularity. Meanwhile, current President Joe Biden was thrown under the bus when his leftist friends realized that they weren’t pulling the wool over as many eyes as they thought by pretending that Biden has actually been in charge of anything the past few years. The man clearly suffers diminished mental capacity and has been the figurehead of a puppet regime. When faced with the reality that Biden wasn’t up to the task of continuing the ruse, Democrats decided that Plan B was…Vice President Kamala Harris 😂. On the surface one can understand the logic…an opportunity to elect the first female U.S. President, and a “woman of color” to boot!! Exactly the kind of identity politics that leftists embrace. The problem?? Kamala Harris is a moron. She is a terrible political candidate that allegedly did some rather nasty things to climb the ladder. She is not likeable in any way, and her inane rambling is almost worse than Biden. Harris is the most lethal kind of idiot…one who somehow believes they aren’t dumb as a box of rocks. The Democrats compounded their error by choosing soy boy Governor Tim Walz of Minnesota as Harris’ running mate. He & his wife have got to be mental patients that escaped from an institution. Conversely, Trump chose Senator JD Vance from Ohio, a former Marine whose story was chronicled in the best selling 2016 memoir HillbillyElegy, which was adapted into a 2020 film. Vance is eloquent & thoughtful, but not a pushover like former Vice President Mike Pence. The legacy media did their damndest to run cover for the Harris-Walz ticket, but at the end of the day America simply wasn’t buying what they were selling. Most Americans are tired of elitists preaching about climate change, pronouns, racial equity, and safe spaces while laundering billions of dollars thru Ukraine and allowing our country to be flooded with unvetted illegals that pose a grave danger to way too many. People actually trust Donald Trump, as flawed as he may be, to put the economic well being of the United States first and focus on real issues instead of wasting time, money, & effort on meaningless poppycock. If they were smart Democrats would do some self-reflection, asking themselves why the majority of the country has now chosen Trump, who even Republicans will admit is nuttier than a damn fruitcake (and I mean that in the kindest possible way), three times (let’s be honest…we all know what really happened in 2020) instead of their flawed policies. That won’t happen though. Let us look forward with hope, encouragement, and faith that our nation will be stronger in the coming months, resulting in a safer, more affordable standard of living for all of us.
Hall of Fame basketball player (West Virginia Mountaineers, Los Angeles Lakers), executive (Los Angeles Lakers, Memphis Grizzlies, Golden St. Warriors), and NBA Logo Jerry West…Hollywood icon James Earl Jones (StarWars, FieldofDreams, ComingtoAmerica, TheSandlot, TheLionKing, TheBigBangTheory)…humanitarian, Nobel Peace Prize winner, and former U.S. President Jimmy Carter…fitness guru Richard Simmons…Grammy award winning producer & composer Quincy Jones…MLB Hall of Fame outfielder Willie Mays (New York Giants), infielders Rickey Henderson (Oakland A’s) & Orlando Cepeda (San Francisco Giants), and All Time Hits Leader Pete Rose (Cincinnati Reds)…legendary comedian & actor Bob Newhart (The Bob Newhart Show, Newhart, The Big BangTheory)…sex therapist & Holocaust survivor Dr. Ruth Westheimer…Grammy & Golden Globe award winning singer, songwriter, & actor Kris Kristofferson…ESPN reporter Chris Mortensen and personalities Howie Schwab & TJ Simers, and sportscaster Greg Gumbel…legendary talk show host Phil Donahue…actors Carl Weathers (Rocky, HappyGilmore), Richard Lewis (AnythingbutLove, RobinHood: MeninTights), David Soul (Starsky & Hutch), James B. Sikking (HillStreetBlues, DoogieHowserM.D.), Adan Canto (DesignatedSurvivor), Christian Oliver (SavedbytheBell: TheNewClass), Don Murray (KnotsLanding), M. Emmet Walsh (Fletch, ChristmaswiththeKranks), Dabney Coleman (9to5, WarGames, You’veGotMail), Joe Flaherty (SCTV), Johnny Wactor (GeneralHospital), Bernard Hill (Titanic, LordoftheRings), Tony LoBianco (TheFrenchConnection), Benji Gregory (ALF), Martin Mull (Mr. Mom, Mrs. Doubtfire), Doug Sheehan (GeneralHospital, KnotsLanding, DayByDay), John Amos (Roots, GoodTimes, ComingtoAmerica, DieHard2, TheWestWing), Charles Cyphers (Halloween, MajorLeague), John Aprea (TheGodfatherPart2, AnotherWorld, FullHouse), Ron Hale (Ryan’sHope, General Hospital), James Darren (TJHooker), Chad McQueen (TheKarateKid), Nicholas Pryer (RiskyBusiness), Drake Hogestyn (DaysofOurLives), Alan Rachins (L.A. Law, Dharma&Greg), Scott L. Schwartz (The Ocean’s Trilogy), Wayne Northrup (DaysofOurLives), and Thom Christopher (OneLifetoLive)…NBA legend Bill Walton (Boston Celtics)…NASA astronaut Jon McBride…game show hosts Chuck Woolery (WheelofFortune) & Peter Marshall (HollywoodSquares)…Oscar winning producers Albert Ruddy (TheGodfather) & Jon Landau (Titanic), directors Jim Abrahams (Airplane!, TheNakedGun), Charles Shyer (FatheroftheBride), & Norman Jewison (Moonstruck), television producer E. Duke Vincent (Dynasty, MelrosePlace, 7thHeaven, BeverlyHills90210), and casting director Dianne Crittenden (StarWars, HoneysuckleRose, PrettyWoman)…chocolate chip cookie guru Wally “Famous” Amos…pro wrestlers Ole Anderson, Ice Train, Virgil, Paul “Butcher” Vachon, Wild Samoans Afa & Sika Anoa’i, Kevin Sullivan, “Psycho” Sid Vicious, and Jax Dane…singers/musicians Toby Keith, David Sanborn, Steve Lawrence, Eric Carmen, Clarence “Frogman” Henry, Dickie Betts (The Allman Brothers), Mandisa Hundley, Mike Pinder (The Moody Blues), Dave Loggins, Joe Bonsall (The Oak Ridge Boys), Sergio Mendes, Scott Simon (Sha Na Na), Tito Jackson (The Jackson Five), Cissy Houston, Liam Payne (One Direction), and Jack Jones…French TV host Bernard Pivot…football players Andy Russell (Pittsburgh Steelers), Mercury Morris (Miami Dolphins), Vontae Davis (Indianapolis Colts), Roman Gabriel, Jim Otto (Oakland Raiders), Larry Allen (Dallas Cowboys), Jacoby Jones (Baltimore Ravens), Khyree Jackson (Minnesota Vikings), Duane Thomas (Dallas Cowboys), Greg Landry (Baltimore Colts), coaches Joe Collier (Denver Broncos), Monte Kiffin (Tampa Bay Buccaneers), John Robinson (Los Angeles Rams, USC Trojans), & Gerry Faust (Notre Dame Fighting Irish & Akron Zips), and team executive Bill Tobin (Chicago Bears)…newscasters Charles Osgood, Robert MacNeil, Lou Dobbs, Tom Jarriel, and Aaron Brown…Pop-Tarts inventor William Post…golfer & broadcaster Peter Oosterhuis and PGA golfer Grayson Murray…infamous actor, Ford Bronco enthusiast, and alleged murderer OJ Simpson…Pulitzer Prize winning TV critic Tom Shales…former NFL referee Jim Tunney…actresses Shannen Doherty (BeverlyHills90210), Teri Garr (YoungFrankenstein, Mr. Mom), Shelley Duvall (TheShining, Popeye), Dame Maggie Smith (HarryPotter, Hook, SisterAct), Glynis Johns (MaryPoppins, TheRef), Joyce Randolph (TheHoneymooners), Chita Rivera (WestSideStory), Ann Whitfield (WhiteChristmas), Marla Adams (The Young&TheRestless), Susan Buckner (Grease), Gena Rowlands (HopeFloats, TheNotebook), and Linda Lavin (Alice)…MLB players Fernando Valenzuela (Los Angeles Dodgers), Ed Ott (Pittsburgh Pirates), Jose DeLeon (Pittsburgh Pirates), Luis Tiant(Cleveland Indians, Boston Red Sox), U.L. Washington (Kansas City Royals), and managers Jimy Williams (Boston Red Sox, Toronto Blue Jays) & Whitey Herzog (St. Louis Cardinals)…former U.S. Senator (Connecticut) & Vice Presidential candidate Joseph Lieberman, former Florida Governor Bob Graham, former Arkansas Governor, Congressman, & Senator David Pryor, U.S. Senator Sheila Jackson Lee (Texas)…travel writer Arthur Frommer…basketball players Dikembe Mutombo (Denver Nuggets, Atlanta Hawks, Houston Rockets), Robert Reid (Houston Rockets), coaches Lefty Driesell (Maryland Terrapins) & Lou Carnesecca (St. John’s Redmen), and NBA executive Pat Williams (Orlando Magic)…notorious Wall St. trader Ivan Boesky…Apollo 8 astronaut William Anders…1963 Indianapolis 500 winner Parnelli Jones & three time Daytona 500 winner Bobby Allison…songwriters Mark James (AlwaysonMyMind, HookedonaFeeling, SuspiciousMinds), Will Jennings (Up Where We Belong, HigherLove, TearsinHeaven, My Heart Will Go On), and JD Souther (Best of My Love, HeartacheTonight, New Kid in Town)…Judith Belushi-Pisano (widow of John Belushi)…documentary filmmaker Morgan Spurlock (SuperSizeMe)…famous gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi…Ethel Kennedy (widow of Robert F. Kennedy)
The Academy Awards were first presented in 1929. The ceremony was held at a hotel, with 270 people attending. The presentations lasted fifteen minutes. Obviously that is a far cry from the modern televised spectacle attended by a few thousand people and viewed on television by millions. For various reasons that you don’t need to know or understand The Sammy Awards will be using this information as inspiration to scale back our presentation. It is likely that we will get back to our full scale tomfoolery next year, but at this moment in time we humbly extend sincerest gratitude for tuning in to our imaginary awards show, a labor of love dating back more that a decade & a half. This is our way to honor, mock, cope with, and say a thankful farewell to the last year. In the past we’ve had delusions of grandeur, imagining the imaginery, if real, might be televised on HBO or TBS, or perhaps streamed on Netflix or Amazon Video. This year might be more of a Tubi or Crackle kind of show.
At any rate, because we love irony, The Sammy Awards is proud to introduce a comedian well known for his crowd work to host our awards show with no crowd. Please give a warm welcome to Matt Rife!!
After some insightful commentary from Mr. Rife it is time for our first presenter. Actually he will be presenting several awards. We had a really great lineup of guests, but life happens and availability became an issue. Ben Affleck & Jennifer Lopez were suppose to present together, but circumstances changed. Ellen Degeneres didn’t leave a forwarding address. P. Diddy declined to join us but offered to host an after party. Justin Timberlake really wanted to participate but couldn’t find a designated driver. Former Governor Rudy Giuliani is meeting with his financial adviser. President Biden is on vacation, gearing up for one final round of treasonous money laundering in Ukraine before he leaves office…physically…in a couple of weeks (he checked out mentally a long time ago). Nick Cannon is still celebrating multiple Christmases with his children. We could’ve had an EPIC program, but we’ll soldier on and do the best we can, which includes one of the best kickers in the NFL. He is no stranger to giving life affirming speeches, and is eager to share his wisdom, particularly with the ladies of The Manoverse. His team just finished their regular season, and we appreciate him squeezing us in before the playoffs begin. Please give a warm welcome to Kansas City Chiefs All Pro Harrison Butker!!
The Thrill of Victory Award Nick Saban & Bill Belichick
After a coaching career that spanned a half century and led to seven National Championships, Nick Saban walked away from the Alabama Crimson Tide last January, citing the new reality of college football…NIL, realignment, etc….as a valid reason for just being tired of all the BS. While The Tide predictably regressed a bit under new leadership, Saban found a new home on ESPN’s CollegeGameday and is better at the whole TV thing than most would’ve predicted. Meanwhile, after winning six Super Bowls in 17 years with the New England Patriots…often with questionable ethics…Bill Belichick realized, along with the rest of us, that most of the credit belonged to QB Tom Brady (and cheating of course), who went on to win a Super Bowl without Belichick in Tampa Bay while his wife was being planked by her personal trainer. Belichick’s Patriots were 29-38 after Brady bolted, so the coach departed New England last January. Shockingly enough he was not hired by an NFL team, which provided him the opportunity to boink a gal young enough to be his granddaughter. The North Carolina Tar Heels were so impressed by Belichick’s skill in recruiting college kids that they’ve hired him to be their coach.
FavoriteTelevisionShow GeneralHospital
I don’t watch much television anymore, which is odd considering the quantity of content is greater than it’s ever been. I won’t even criticize a dearth of quality programming, because I am quite certain there are a bunch of great shows that I am missing out on. The truth though, is that outside of wrasslin’, ball games, and my stories, the dramas & sitcoms available just don’t interest me to the point of even investing time to check them out. And with streaming, more often than not I’d rather watch an old favorite that I’ve seen dozens of times. That being said, GeneralHospital is my old reliable. I’ve been watching since grade school, which is longer than I care to ponder. 2024 was a bit different, because GH was always an experience I shared with my sister. I’ve missed our phone calls & texts kvetching about all the latest drama in the fictional town of Port Charles. I realize soap operas are kind of silly, but so are alot of other things. I learned many years ago not to take stuff too seriously most of the time, so entertainment really boils down to what tickles your funny bone, engages your imagination, or helps you escape the challenges of real life. Since the early 80’s GeneralHospital has done those things for me.
Favorite Sportscaster Scott Van Pelt
ESPN isn’t what it used to be, and I’ve grown weary of the debate shows that I used to enjoy. However, the reality is that “The Worldwide Leader” in Bristol, CT remains the driving force in televised sporting events. While I don’t mind tuning into a game on ESPN, I mostly avoid their other programming…except for SVP. If Sportscenter is coming on and he is hosting, I’ll stick around. Van Pelt is versatile, as I also enjoy when he’s part of the broadcast team for golf. He is fun & flippant, but also possesses the journalistic chops to ask tough questions and offer gravitas when a situation demands it. He strikes me as fairminded, not cheerleading or being overly critical of any specific teams, players, or coaches. I respect anyone who is funny, fair, and excellent at their job.
FavoritePodcast State of Mind
My goal of becoming a podcast kind of guy hasn’t come to fruition just yet. I don’t have the attention span I used to, and find the plethora of intriguing choices a bit overwhelming. What usually happens is I’ll hear about a particular podcast or perhaps see a snippet of it on social media and think “That seems cool…I need to check it out.”, then I simply don’t. Perhaps I can do better in 2025, but let’s not get too excited. Anyway, of the podcasts that I’ve given more than cursory attention to, State of Mind, hosted by Maurice Benard, rises above the noise. Benard is an actor best known for portraying mob boss Sonny Corinthos on GeneralHospital. He has not been shy about his very real issues with bipolar disorder, and for the past few years has invited guests onto the pod to open up about their own struggles with mental health. It’s one of those topics that alot of folks, whether it be an old school Baby Boomer, strong & silent type of guy, or a youngster who thinks they’re way too cool, avoid dealing with or admitting to, even to themselves. StateofMind illustrates that mental illness does exist, it needs to be dealt with, and it’s okay to talk about it.
FavoriteApp Spades *
I jumped back onto the Spades bandwagon in 2024, just with a different app than I was using a few years ago. I probably waste too much time on such activities when I should be doing something productive, but sometimes one simply needs a mindless distraction from all the noise.
Favorite Foodie Mr. Food
Okay, so first things first…it’s not actually Mr. Food. The OG Mr. Food was Art Ginsburg, who I vaguely recall hosting brief cooking segments during the news when I was a kid. Ginsburg sadly passed in 2012, but his legacy continues with Howard Rosenthal, who worked with Ginsburg for many years. Rosenthal introduces himself as “Howard, from the Mr. Food Test Kitchen”. Of course things are a little different these days, because if one misses whatever show the segments air on in your local television market you always have the option of finding the latest recipes online. I’ve actually made a few things I saw on Mr. Food, and if I may paraphrase his beloved tagline…oooh, they were pretty good. Mr. Food was actually way ahead of the curve, because these days who has the time or inclination to invest in a 30-60 minute cooking show presented by a high end chef who prepares dishes we common folk cannot successfully duplicate?? I’d rather watch Howard’s two minute presentation that still looks rather tasty and feel good about trying it in my kitchen.
This seems like a good time to take a brief timeout. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of the downsized yet still delightful Sammy Awards!!
The Manofesto 