The decision was made to skip college football’s “Week Zero” since there was only one game that could be considered even remotely interesting, and in the interest of full disclosure I’ll admit I likely would’ve made the wrong pick, so we’re already off to a good start with wise judgment. At any rate, we are happy to be back for another delightful season of making choices that have absolutely no consequences other than stubborn pride. A season ago I secured the overall victory with a 74-61 record, while Zach was 61-74. I’ve lost track of how long we’ve been doing this and am far too lethargic to do research, but I know that it’s been long enough that these picks have become a touchstone that marks the transition from summer, which I have loved my entire life, to autumn, a season I have grown to appreciate more with maturity. A tip o’ the cap to Jerry Lewis and his eponymous Labor Day Telethon, which slipped into the past more than a decade ago, and bygone school days, which for me have been over for much longer. Even the transitions transition. 

North Carolina (-1) at Minnesota

The Tar Heels finished last year with a bowl game loss to my WV Mountaineers and an 8-5 record. The Gophers also lost their bowl game and finished 6-7, which says alot about bowl games. These two teams actually met during the regular season last September, with Carolina scoring a 17 point win. However, QB Drake Maye has moved on to the NFL and they also have an entirely new offensive line. This is a Thursday night game on Fox, but I’m not sure casual fans will appreciate it. We’re probably looking at a low scoring defensive struggle, with field position & time of possession being key stats. Definitely take the under, and I believe the home field helps Minnesota eek out a close victory. Zach concurs.

My Pick: Minnesota 

Zach’s Pick: Minnesota

Florida Atlantic at Michigan State (-13.5)

How can anyone not root for a team nicknamed the Owls?? FAU is coming off of a miserable 4-8 season, so head coach Tom Herman, who never had losing records at Houston or Texas, won’t be satisfied with the status quo. Meanwhile, the Spartans begin anew with head coach Jonathan Smith, who moves east after six years at Oregon St. Three of the past four seasons under former coach Mel Tucker were abysmal, so they too are looking for a big turnaround. It’s a 7pm Friday kickoff on the Big Ten Network, which means no one will be watching, although ESPN may show a highlight or two, or atleast mention the score on SportsCenter. I really want to pick an outright upset, but just can’t go that far. However, I do think the points are a bit much and the visitors will keep it close. Zach agrees.

My Pick: Florida Atlantic

Zach’s Pick: Florida Atlantic

Miami (Fla.) (-2.5) at Florida

The Hurricanes have been getting some preseason love, but let’s be real. Vinny Testaverde isn’t walking thru that door. Neither is Michael Irvin. Ditto for Warren Sapp, Edgerrin James, & Ray Lewis. These are not the legendary ‘Canes from “The U” that dominated college football a few decades ago. Having said that, they can certainly be a dominant force amongst the mediocrity of the ACC. Conversely, the Gators are swimming upstream in a loaded SEC. They lost five straight games to end last season, and head coach Billy Napier’s job could be in jeopardy in just his third year in Gainesville. The Swamp has traditionally been a formidable home field, and I still believe that holds true. Miami will probably go on to have a better season while Florida struggles against conference foes, but I smell an upset to get things started. Zach believes Miami could put themselves in position to snag a playoff berth and doesn’t think Florida poses much of a challenge. 

My Pick: Florida 

Zach’s Pick: Miami (FL)

Notre Dame at Texas A&M (-3)

The Aggies fired Jimbo Fisher before the end of last season, paying him the largest buyout in college football history. New head coach Mike Elko is a former Aggies defensive coordinator who had a couple of solid winning seasons at Duke. A&M only had one losing season in six years with Fisher at the helm, but 9-4 or 8-5 simply isn’t good enough with so much money involved. We’ll see how the Elko Era plays out. The Fighting Irish are no strangers to change. Head coach Marcus Freeman is 19-7 in two seasons in South Bend, but we all know that ten wins & a Sun Bowl appearance don’t measure up to the lofty standards of a program that has won eleven national titles and has been in the conversation atleast as many times as that. The home field in College Station is amongst the most intimidating in the country, but I just think Notre Dame is a slightly better team. Zach doesn’t foresee a particularly interesting game, but agrees that the Irish will get the job done on the road.

My Pick: Notre Dame

Zach’s Pick: Notre Dame 

Penn State (-8.5) at West Virginia

We usually don’t pick WVU games, but I can’t resist this one. After a rocky start in his first few seasons in Morgantown head coach Neal Brown seemingly found the right formula last year, going 9-4, including a postseason beatdown of North Carolina. With Texas & Oklahoma moving on to the SEC a revamped Big 12 could be ripe for the picking, and the timing seems good with the ‘Eers perhaps fielding their best team since 2011. The narrative rarely changes for the Nittany Lions, having won ten games & finishing in the middle of the pack in the Big Ten, which seems to be their ceiling. These two teams opened the season a year ago, with Penn St. winning comfortably at home. Can West Virginia flip the script?? Most people will tell you no…but I am not most people. Despite being a West Virginia native Zach isn’t much of a Mountaineers fan. However, he does acknowledge that they should be pretty good this season, especially on the offensive side of the ball. He isn’t impressed by Penn St. junior QB Drew Allar and believes WVU could pull off a big upset.

My Pick: West Virginia

Zach’s Pick: West Virginia

USC vs. LSU (-4.5)

QB Caleb Williams is now plying his trade in the NFL, but I never quite figured out the hype given the fact that the Trojans were a combined 19-8 the past two seasons. Certainly not terrible, but they weren’t a playoff contender. Will that change this year?? Probably not, especially in their inaugural season in the…*checks notes*…Big Ten. Just finishing in the top half of the conference and achieving bowl eligibility should be the goal. As for the Bayou Bengals, hopes are high that they can build on two straight ten win seasons under third year head coach Brian Kelly. This is a neutral site game in Las Vegas on Sunday evening, which would seem like a delightful way to wrap up the weekend except for the fact that Monday is a holiday and there is one final game that night. I don’t believe this will be a particularly close contest, with LSU winning by double digits. Conversely, Zach has faith in USC coach Lincoln Riley and opines that LSU lost alot of talent from last year’s squad. He believes the underdogs will win a close battle.

My Pick: LSU

Zach’s Pick: USC

Clemson vs. Georgia (-13.5)

Sadly this is not the aforementioned Monday night game. It’s actually a Noon kickoff on Saturday, which says alot about how much juice the Tigers have lost. They haven’t been terrible by any means, but after securing six straight playoff berths from 2015-20 winning nine games & playing in the Gator Bowl feels hollow. Conversely, the Bulldogs haven’t lost two games in a season since 2020 and won back to back national titles in 2021 & ‘22. It’s a neutral site game in Atlanta, and I’ll be shocked if Clemson pulls off the upset. Can Georgia cover the points though?? It makes me a little nervous, but go big or go home, right?? Zach doesn’t think the ‘Dawgs will have any problem and predicts a big win.

My Pick: Georgia

Zach’s Pick: Georgia