I’ve been thinking about Frank Sinatra’s song My Way. “Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention.” How many people can truthfully say that?? I’d venture to guess that many of us have a long list of regrets if we ever take time to genuinely self-reflect.

That’s a big if though, right?? Most folks are just doing their best to live a decent life. Go to work. Perhaps accomplish something if your job is meaningful on some level. Pay bills. Take care of a home. Build an impactful relationship or long lasting marriage. Raise children. Enjoy friendships and familial relationships. Be a good neighbor. Occasionally go out for a night on the town or take the tribe on a fun vacation. Who has time for introspection?? And even if you do ponder such things, what good can come of it?? If hindsight really is 20/20 and you pinpoint mistakes you made decades ago that altered the path of your life, chances are you can’t change things now. Maybe that’s what Sinatra really meant. Or more specifically what Paul Anka meant after acquiring the melody of a French song and writing new lyrics. I suppose brevity & lyrical necessity could’ve dictated the idea of having no regrets versus having regrets while recognizing the futility of dwelling on them.

At any rate, the song is more than just that one line. “I’ve lived a life that’s full. I traveled each and every highway.” In just the past few years a buddy of mine has been to Hawaii, Great Britain, & Greece. On a smaller scale, a former colleague that I’ve kept in touch with thru the years enjoys daytrips up & down our lovely state of West Virginia and travels to alot of Christian music events throughout the Atlantic & Southeastern United States. Do I feel a tinge of envy that I’ve never had the means or health to do such things?? Sure. But mostly I am glad to know people living the full life that is within their grasp.

“I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption. I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway.” Someone…probably my father…told me a long time ago that winners make things happen while losers let things happen. I didn’t realize until I was in my late 40’s that I’ve been in survival mode my entire life. However, while that is part of my story, the unvarnished truth is that I have always lacked follow-thru, become easily distracted, and rarely been able to focus on long term goals. I often joke around that an uneventful day during which nothing bad happened is my definition of a good day, but when one is just trying to get thru the day aiming for achievements years down the road (i.e. what successful people do) isn’t really a thing.

Sinatra talks about “when there was doubt” eating it up & spitting it out. At times in my life I have risen to the occasion and proved others’ assumptions about me wrong, but the fact is that most people have extremely low expectations of me. People think it’s amazing that I graduated college, live independently, and drive a vehicle. Conversely, I don’t believe that I deserve a gold star for any of those mundane “achievements”. My hopes & dreams…in my mind atleast…were much more grandiose at one point in time, but I have hardly chewed up my own self-doubt and spit it out.

The song mentions loving, laughing, crying, and losing, which maybe be the part with which I most closely identify. However, contrary to The Chairman I don’t find riding the struggle bus all that amusing.

The whole point of the song is doing it “my way”, right?? To “face it all and stand tall”. To “say things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels”. It’s about being a badass and living a life of which you are proud.

Frank Sinatra died a quarter century ago and we still remember him. Granted, he’s not the best example of the point I’m making because he was wealthy, famous, & ultra talented. That being said, we’ve all known people like Sinatra on a much smaller scale. Their impact may have been local rather than national. They may not have been well-known or affluent. Perhaps their vocation wasn’t something as cool as singing amazing songs. Yet most of us can name atleast a couple of people who stories are still told about decades after their earthly departure. We know or have heard of people who lived boldly & unapologetically, with confidence, a generous spirit, and the determination to achieve great things. I’ve never been that guy, and while I accept that with peace in my heart, it is with a certain level of remorseful admiration that I recognize & respect those who do it their way.