Author: sammano

I'm just a guy...just a man trying to survive in this wacky world, stay true to myself (whatever that means), maybe have some fun, have a positive influence on people and events, and navigate this curvy, bumpy road called life.

2014 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 9

Your humble Potentate of Profundity hasn’t been feeling well. It’s a long story that I won’t bore citizens of The Manoverse with, but tonight after a couple of mugs of hot tea there seems to be a slight break in my misery, so I figured I’d better get this done now. Just please keep me in your prayers. I wish I had the robust faith of my brother The Owl and my buddy Don, but the truth is that sometimes my “blessed assurance” can occasionally falter. I’ve obviously still got some work to do there. Anyway…..

Last week I went 3-2 while Zach went 2-3. If you’d like all the details check out last week and see for yourself. Sorry…I’m feeling slightly better but still not as verbose as usual. Our season records are 21-22 for myself and 20-22 for Zach. I wasn’t feeling like Mike Tyson has been punching me in the groin for hours a few days ago when I chose this week’s games, so for some strange reason y’all get bonus picks this week. Enjoy.

 

 

 

 

Texas at Kansas St. (-10)
I like Texas head coach Charlie Strong and think he’ll eventually get the Longhorns turned around even if by the time he does the table is set for his fortunatekansas-state-dm successor. However this season they pretty much stink. Meanwhile, Wildcats’ head coach Bill Snyder, who I believe was born during the Millard Fillmore administration, has his team leading The Big 12 (which has 10 teams) and still with an outside shot to make it to the national title playoff. I think K St. easily covers the spread on their home field. Zach concurs.

My Pick = Kansas St.
Z’s Pick = Kansas St.

 

 
Ole Miss (-3.5) at LSU
The Rebels come into this game as a Top 5 team. I was under the impression that the Bayou Bengals kind of sucked this season but apparently they have snuck lsu_logo-9547into the Top 25. I suppose I should pay more attention. Anyway, I am picking the upset, as is Zach. Great minds think alike.

My Pick = LSU
Z’s Pick = LSU

 

 

 

USC at Utah (even)
USC_Trojans2How often is USC vs. Utah a game with even odds?? I’m not buying it even if the Utes are at home. Zach, however, thinks Utah is very utahtalented and is picking them to win the game in double overtime.

My Pick = USC
Z’s Pick = Utah

 

 

 

Ohio St. (-13) at Penn St.
Apparently the NCAA doesn’t believe that all the child molestation that occurred at Penn St. is a big deal, as earlier this season they were all like “You remember Penn_State_logo111111those sanctions that were going to set Nittany Lions football back a decade?? Ehhhh…forget it. Play ball!!”. Regardless of how one feels about that particular ruling the fact is that the Penn St. football program hasn’t gone that far in the crapper, atleast not far enough to get beaten by two TDs in Happy Valley in what I assume will be a nationally televised game. Zach agrees.

My Pick = Penn St.
Z’s Pick = Penn St.

 

 

 

Texas Tech at TCU (-22.5)
The Horned Frogs come into this game as a Top 10 team and are really only one improbable Baylor comeback away from being undefeated. Conversely the RedTexas-Tech-260x300 Raiders are a sub-.500 team that doesn’t seem to play all that well against legitimate competition. That being said, I am not comfortable with a 3+ TD spread. Zach thinks TCU will win…but only by 17. He’s probably right.

My Pick = Texas Tech
Z’s Pick = Texas Tech

 

 

 

Philadelphia at Arizona (-2.5)
The surprising Cards get the slight home field nod but this is essentially a pick ‘em. I am not yet convinced that Arizona is for real so I have to go with the underdogs.eagles Zach agrees.

My Pick = Philadelphia
Z’s Pick = Philadelphia

 

 

 

Miami (-5) at Jacksonville
Miami_Dolphins_HelmetHey it’s the Battle of Florida!! I remain convinced that the Jags are headed in the right direction with rookie QB Blake Bortles under center, butJacksonville_Jaguars they still need more pieces. The Dolphins aren’t a serious playoff contender yet but I think they’ll get the job done against less than stellar competition. Zach is predicting a big rushing day from former Michigan Wolverine QB/WR Denard Robinson and thinks Jacksonville will score the upset victory.

My Pick = Miami
Z’s Pick = Jacksonville

 

 

 

Minnesota at Tampa Bay (-3)
Zach doesn’t know this but he’s flying solo on this one. Because of a slight error made earlier in the season he has had one less game on his record than me forvikingshelmet1 several weeks. We’ll even things up now. These two teams are a combined 3-10 thus far and I’d rather take a nap or surf YouTube for…well…anything…than watch them do battle. Zach, because he is probably feeling better than me, has an even funnier (yet depressing) visual, saying that he’d “rather see Oprah Winfrey & Dr. Phil together on Dancing with the Stars” than watch this game. That boy has some good genes. Anyway, he apparently did “eeny meeny miney moe” and is going with the Vikings. That’s cool with me.

My Pick = n/a
Z’s Pick = Minnesota

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2014 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 8

Well…last week was definitely an improvement over the previous one, although I remain unsatisfied and determined to do better. I went 3-2, with Louisville, the Denver Broncos, & the Philadelphia Eagles all winning for me. Zach correctly picked the Dallas Cowboys over the Seattle Seahawks while we both whiffed on the Baylor/TCU game. Baylor won an entertaining Arena League-esque 61-58 battle but didn’t cover the 8½ point spread. Zach went 2-3 for the week to fall below .500 for the season:

Me = 18-20
Zach = 18-19

I’m kind of bored with the highly ranked SEC teams beating one another, atleast from a prognosticating standpoint, so those games don’t make the cut this time. They are entertaining to watch but are repetitive & monotonous to analyze. We know that the SEC champion will make it into the national playoff and I think it is inevitable that a 2nd SEC team will be there too, especially if Alabama can realistically be shoehorned in without it seeming like someone is on the take. So basically we just need to sit back and let it all shake out. There are other interesting games on the schedule and I find the question of which teams will secure the other two or three playoff spots much more thought provoking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Iowa at Maryland (-4.5)
The Hawkeyes were in my pre-season Top 25 so I remain mildly invested in their success. They are 5-1 and have a genuine opportunity to break into the rankings ifiowa they continue to win as various other teams knock each other out. I haven’t paid too much attention to the Terrapins since their narrow loss to my WV Mountaineers back in September but they are 4-2, with the other loss being last week to the Ohio St. Buckeyes. Maryland gets the nominal home field advantage but I’m going to stick with my summertime vibes and pick Iowa. Zach concurs.

My Pick = Iowa
Z’s Pick = Iowa

 

 

Nevada at BYU (-10)
I love late night west coast football. I am a night owl and even though I get up fairly early for church on Sunday it is still a part of my routine to watch these games that nevadadon’t start until 10pm or after and aren’t over until atleast 1am. It doesn’t hurt that games involving Pac 12 or Mountain West teams are typically high scoring back & forth affairs with plenty of drama, comebacks, & 4th quarter heroics. I resisted putting the Cougars in my Top 25 this pre-season because whenever I do (which is usually every year) they end up breaking my heart. So of course since I left them out this time they are 4-2 and were ranked before losing two straight so far this month. Meanwhile, the Wolfpack is 3-3 and every game…win or lose…has been a battle. Nevada is a program that seems to be slightly above average with occasional brief spikes of being very good. They have been to a bowl game 9 out of the past 10 seasons. BYU understandably has the home field advantage, but 10 points is just too much. I think it’ll be closer than that. Once again Zach is in agreement.

My Pick = Nevada
Z’s Pick = Nevada

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Stanford (-3.5) at Arizona St.
Stanford was ranked in most pre-season polls, including mine. However most “experts” had them hovering right around the Top 10. I had them at #17, which after photo.stanfordtreetwo early losses (to USC & Notre Dame) is looking like a best case scenario. I said that their schedule is brutal and I was right. Conversely, I didn’t rank the Sun Devils but they are currently sitting right about where most others had them back in August. This is a huge game for both teams. They each have a realistic chance at their division crown and a spot in the Pac 12 title game, but a loss here pretty much ends those hopes. It is interesting that Stanford is favored as the visiting team. I’m not sure what that’s about since it seems to be a fairly even matchup and the home team usually gets the advantage in that scenario. I will assume that the oddsmakers know something that I don’t and go with the favorites. Zach likes Stanford’s defense and believes they will win easily.

My Pick = Stanford
Z’s Pick = Stanford

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Notre Dame at Florida St. (-11.5)
This is the big one. The playoff picture is kinda sorta beginning to take shape. We know the deal with the SEC and just have to see who beats who over the course NotreDame1of the next several weeks, We also know that if the Seminoles win this game their remaining path looks rather rather smooth, while the Irish still have a couple of potential pitfalls along the way. Those rooting for chaos & arguments about who deserves to be in the 4 team playoff should be hoping for a Florida St. loss here and a Notre Dame loss to either Arizona St. or USC next month. I’d be down with that cause it’s just how I roll. Plus the point spread is ridiculous. Zach thinks both of these teams are overrated. He’s not sure who’ll win but certainly doesn’t think it will be by double digits.

My Pick = Notre Dame
Z’s Pick = Notre Dame

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New Orleans at Detroit (-3)
10_new_orleans_saintsOur lone NFL game this week is a sleeper. Detroit is 4-2 and tied for the division lead with the Green Bay Packers but I don’t think anyone is paying much attention Detroit_Lions_Helmetbecause…well…it’s the Detroit Lions. The last time they won a playoff game I was a drunken college student, George HW Bush was in The White House, Johnny Carson was still hosting The Tonight Show, Cheers & Home Improvement were dominating the TV ratings, Michael Jackson topped the Billboard charts with Black or White, and Zach hadn’t even been born. Meanwhile, the Saints are struggling at 2-3 but surprisingly remain just a game out of first in their division. The Lions get the customary 3 point bump for being at home, but this is essentially a pick ‘em. Call it unfair if you want, but I just can’t wrap my head around Detroit being a legit playoff contender and N’awlins being a bad team. It is true that every NFL season is different and it isn’t unusual to see teams go from worst to first or fall precipitously from a lofty perch. However I am going to go with the past decade or two of history and pick this game for the Saints to turn around their season. Zach is a bit more openminded than me and is willing to put all that historical perspective stuff aside (the advantages of being young). He likes Detroit’s defense and thinks they win the game easily.

My Pick = New Orleans
Z’s Pick = Detroit

Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice: A Whole New Perspective

Is legal suicide the same as legal abortion??

 

This is a question I have been pondering lately as a result of a story out of Oregon where a 29 year old woman with an inoperable brain tumor has think“scheduled” her death. It’s an emotional topic with a variety of opinions. No one wants to disparage a terminally ill individual. However, it’s an issue that is bigger than just one person…partly due to this woman’s actions.

 

I do think there is one significant difference between physician-assisted suicide and abortion even if terminology like “pro-life” and “pro-choice” can be applied to both. One of the things pro-choice advocates always say is that it is a woman’s right to decide what happens to her own body, to which my rebuttal is usually “what about the innocent child’s body??”. In the case of suicide though there is no baby to consider. This woman really is deciding only what happens to her own body.

 

handsAlso, though I have been blessed enough to not have to witness it myself, I empathize with the idea of someone not wanting to suffer and not wanting their family to be burdened with the emotional & financial toll that a dying person’s last days may present. My mother died of lung cancer when she was 52 years old in 2000. I was a grown man by then but it was nevertheless gut wrenching. However, my mother’s passing, though realistically the end result of health problems that she had suffered thru for two decades, was fairly sudden. I only had to see her in a vegetative state for a few days. So I will not criticize a person for not wanting to experience weeks or months of horrific pain and for trying to spare their loved ones everything that encompasses. That being said, I have two problems with this story.

 

First of all, the woman (who I will not name…I’m not trying to pile on) is using her last days to become an advocate for assisted suicide. She’s doing interviews, starring in PSAs, and becoming an outspoken advocate for “death with dignity”. It’s a free country and she certainly has a right to live her life how she wants, especially given the circumstances. However, it is one thing to choose to quietly end your own life, but when a person decides to become a sociopolitical spokesman for a cause then they open themselves up to legitimate critique.

 

Many “hot button” issues these days are inherently controversial, but they are oftentimes made more contentious on purpose. Do we really think that shouthomosexuality didn’t exist a century or two ago?? Of course it did, but it has only been in the last few decades that it has become a topic of intense public debate. Did no one ever have an abortion before Roe v. Wade made it legal in 1973?? Of course they did. Why did no one seem to have an issue with the Washington Redskins in the 1980’s when they were winning Super Bowls?? Why is the team name offensive now yet it apparently wasn’t 20 or 30 years ago?? If this poor woman in Oregon had simply decided to take her own life and kept it low key then very few people would have even noticed. But she had to become an advocate. Okay…fine. But now it’s out there and the debate has begun.

 

Secondly, we must be able to objectively look at the subject matter in general aside from the specific individual(s) involved. Any human being would have sympathy for this person’s particular circumstances…but what about the big picture??

 

jesuslmbMany will have faith-based objections, i.e. it isn’t up to us to play God with our own lives or anyone else’s life. That’s the biggest issue in my book. It’s a real fork-in-the-road. Those who see nothing wrong with suicide…assisted or otherwise…are generally those who don’t exhibit a strong belief in or allegiance to God or His ways. They obviously don’t believe in miracles. People of that ilk are, in our modern times, increasingly self-centered & narcissistic. It’s the Burger King attitude – “I want it MY way, right away, NOW!!”. This woman in Oregon wants to die “on her own terms”. Nevermind that most of us will never have the opportunity to choose how or when we die…nor should we. One has the right to worship or not worship however they choose. However those who do have a deep belief in God and Biblical principles are going to see this as a poor choice. Of course the rebuttal to that is “well it’s her life and she can do what she wants”…which is absolutely true. But by advocating for this “right” for the masses and allowing the situation to go public that gives others…like me…the right to espouse an opinion. I’m really tired of Christians being accused of “shoving our beliefs down other people’s throats” and being called haters, bigots, & judgmental. Why does everyone else get to have an opinion but Christians do not?? Is my opinion not atleast as valid as pro-choice, pro-gay, anti-gun, Muslim, socialist supporters who think God is “our imaginary friend”??

 

Blogger Matt Walsh wrote a really good piece about this story and expresses his thoughts far better than I. His objection isn’t as much with the woman as it is with those who are holding up her choice as heroic, brave, inspiring, & honorable. I’ll let y’all peruse his article, but let me just add that to me this is a slippery slope full of “what ifs” that is all about the value of human life. It is completely understandable that this young lady in Oregon wants to avoid the horror of what is to come…as much for her husband and others as for herself. But let us ponder this. What if there is a person out there that is middle-aged, single, lonely, financially strapped, & professionally unsuccessful?? Should a doctor prescribe them The Pill of Death just because their life kind of sucks?? How about a perfectly healthy 75 year old who has retired to Florida but feels like they’ve accomplished all they can…raised their kids, had a decent career, donated their time & money to various charities…and wants to end things on a high note before they get old & decrepit?? What about the overweight teenager who struggles academically, gets bullied, and isn’t treated especially well by their family?? Should we legally help them end their life just because they’re going thru a rough patch?? Yes I know…none of this would ever happen. I am sure there is an assisted suicide rulebook in the places where it is legal. But it isn’t unusual for rules to be modified. The line in the sand often moves. People use the old chestnut “times change”. This is usually seen as “progress”. Using that logic it isn’t hard to see the very dangerous path all of this could go down without people even batting an eyelash.

 
I have never been terminally ill. I have never been seriously depressed. I have never been suicidal. My life isn’t all that grand but I have hope. I’m not bibleall that exciting but there are things in my life that make me smile and will continue to do so…hopefully for a very long time. I am not always the perfect ideal of morality and scrupulous behavior, but I do have faith in God and His Son, my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. I believe that His will is more important than what makes me comfortable or content. It is for that reason that I believe we must be extremely cautious when dealing with certain matters…especially the sanctity of life. We must be sensitive to the issues that others face. But we should not put their decisions on a pedestal. The world is watching, and when we cross the line from empathizing with a person’s tragic plight to rubberstamping & applauding their decision to circumvent the will of God in a vain attempt at making their path easier then I believe we have gone too far.

 
I realize that I am likely in the minority on this. I understand that people are going to continue making these types of decisions whether I approve or not. And I agree that, at the end of the day, each person must choose how to live their own life and not get wrapped up in everyone else’s opinions. I just think the world would be a better place and the golden streets of Heaven would be far more crowded someday if folks were guided by God’s will instead of their own.

2014 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 7

Last weekend was a bloodbath. There’s no other way to soft sell it. One of the keys to success in the prognostication arts is being able to predict big upsets and last week college football had more than its fair share…very few of which I saw coming. As a fan it was lots of fun to watch, but for the purpose of these picks it was viciously humbling. I ended up going 3-4. Both Zach & I picked Arizona & Virginia Tech correctly, and I was happy to see Nebraska stage a late comeback to atleast cover the points even though they didn’t win. Zach was 4-3 and picked both Mississippi St. and Notre Dame correctly. We both completely whiffed by picking LSU & Alabama. You know it’s a wacky year when both of those teams lose in the same day. So the season records look like this:

Me = 15-18
Zach = 16-16

There are several big college games again this week but I prefer to have a little variety and not pick games involving the same teams week after week. With the NFL this is somewhat unavoidable because there are only 32 teams, but the NCAA has a much bigger selection from which to choose and so we shall.

 

 

 

 

 

TCU at Baylor (-8.5)
The Horned Frogs are 4-0 and coming off a surprising upset of Oklahoma. Baylor is now a legitimate part of the national playoff conversation but they need to keep baylorwinning. I am sure TCU will put forth their best effort, but don’t believe they are an authentic Top 10 team. This game is in Waco and the home team should roll to a solid double digit victory. Zach likes the Bears’ high powered offense and expects that it’ll be hard for TCU to get revved up for another big upset so soon.

My Pick = Baylor
Z’s Pick = Baylor

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Louisville at Clemson (-10.5)
Louisville-CardinalsThe Cardinals have represented themselves rather well in their inaugural season in the ACC. They are 5-1 and currently in 2nd place in theirclemson division. I must admit I did not think they’d be that successful this season, especially after losing QB Teddy Bridgewater to the NFL. Conversely Clemson is 3-2 and hasn’t done well against stiff competition. They lost a lot of talent to the NFL and it has shown. I don’t think Louisville will win this game, but I do think they’ll play good enough to cover the points. Zach disagrees and thinks Clemson will win in a blowout.

My Pick = Louisville
Z’s Pick = Clemson

 

 

Denver (-8) at NY Jets
8 point spreads in the NFL are almost like 20 points in the collegiate ranks. Theoretically these guys are all professional athletes and no team should get shellacked denverby 2 or 3 touchdowns. However we all know that it does happen. This spread is especially insulting to the Jets since they are the home team. However, I do agree that the Broncos are a team on a mission…Super Bowl or bust…and that New York is a hot mess without a good starting QB and with a head coach who has to feel the noose tightening. I’d be surprised if the game isn’t essentially over at halftime and Peyton Manning isn’t chillin’ on the sidelines by the 4th quarter. Zach concurs.

My Pick = Denver
Z’s Pick = Denver

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Dallas at Seattle (-8)
seattle-seahawks1I know everyone is jumping on the Dallas bandwagon, but I’m not buying it. They are 4-1 but three of their wins are over teams with a dallas-cowboys-logo2combined record of 4-10. Simmer down Cowboys fans…no need to be more obnoxious than usual just yet. Philadelphia is still going to win the division. Meanwhile the defending champs are 3-1 and I think their early season loss to the San Diego Chargers will actually prove beneficial. It’s really easy for champions to become complacent but the Seahawks got a wake-up call and now seem to be back on track. I think this will be an easy win for Seattle. Zach isn’t a Cowboys fan but does believe that there is good reason for folks to have high expectations. He thinks Dallas is a solid playoff team and will atleast cover the points in this one.

My Pick = Seattle
Z’s Pick = Dallas

 

 

NY Giants at Philadelphia (-2.5)
philadelphia_eagles-3715The Giants are another team that everyone suddenly has renewed faith in, although it’s a bit more understandable in their case. They have aGiants Logo history of bouncing between being a playoff contender and a bottom dweller as effortlessly as Marty McFly travels thru time. On the flip side the Eagles are 4-1 but haven’t been quite as dominating as some (including me) expected. RB LeSean McCoy is only averaging 55 yds/game. To call that underwhelming would be like calling President Obama somewhat of a disappointment. Philly’s defense isn’t that good either, ranking 24th in the league against the run and 29th in passing defense. This is the Sunday night game and I think it’ll be a high scoring back & forth kind of contest with the home team getting the victory late in the 4th quarter. Zach agrees that it’ll be close but believes it will be the Giants that score late to seal the victory.

My Pick = Philadelphia
Z’s Pick = NY Giants

Superfluous 7 – Best & Worst TV Spinoffs

TVThe television landscape is littered with spinoffs/sequels/continuations/reboots both good & bad…mostly bad. Logically one can conclude that any series worthy of a spinoff must be pretty good itself, which right away means the new show has high standards that it must live up to, something that oftentimes proves to be difficult. The spinoff needs to provide viewers with a sense of comfort & familiarity while at the same time standing on its own as a fresh and different entity from the original. It’s tricky and usually doesn’t work. However, there have been a handful of notable spinoffs that have achieved a certain amount of success. Sometimes folks forget that a show is even a spinoff, and on rare occasions the spinoff equals or even outshines its parent show.

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We are going to try something a bit different with this installment of Superfluous 7. For each slot I have listed a good & bad…a yin & yang…a hero & villain. It’s a TV2twofer, a BOGO, a double feature!! But first let me offer a few qualifiers. In all cases I am familiar…on some level…with both the parent series and its spinoff. Y’all know that I love, love, love The Andy Griffith Show, and I am well aware that it is a spinoff of The Danny Thomas Show (aka Make Room for Daddy). However, the only episode of the original show I’ve ever seen is the one that was a “backdoor pilot” for TAGS (you can find it on YouTube) so that particular spinoff doesn’t make this list. Ditto for Happy Days, which was a spinoff of Love American Style, a show I’ve never seen. I am also aware of the plethora of spinoffs of shows like CSI, Law & Order, & NCIS, but since I don’t watch those shows nor their “offspring” you won’t find them here. They just aren’t my cup o’ tea. Your mileage may vary and that’s okay. Something else you won’t see here…reality shows. I know that The Bachelorette is a spinoff of The Bachelor, but since I am of the opinion that such programs are contributing to the decay of society they aren’t worth the time & energy to even talk about. Also let me take this opportunity to say that narrowing this list down was harder than I expected. There are shows that I rather enjoy like Mama’s Family (a spinoff of The Carol Burnett Show), Trapper John M.D. (from MASH), Mork & Mindy (one of a few spinoffs from Happy Days), Benson (a spinoff of Soap), Family Matters (a spinoff of Perfect Strangers), and The Simpsons (spun off from something called The Tracey Ullman Show) that just didn’t make the cut. There are others, such as That 80’s Show (a follow-up to…of course…That 70’s Show), Just the Ten of Us (a spinoff of Growing Pains), Flo (a spinoff of Alice), and Living Dolls (a spinoff of Who’s the Boss? notable for kicking off the careers of Halle Berry & Leah Remini) so inconsequential that I’m surprised I remember them at all. At any rate, without further ado, The Manofesto ambitiously presents…..

 

 

 

from the home office in Mount Airy, NC…..

 

 

 

The Superfluous 7 Best & Worst TV Spinoffs:

 

 

 

7 Best – The Facts of Life      Worst – Three’s A Crowd
facts_of_lifeIn the middle of the second season of Diff’rent Strokes housekeeper Edna Garrett leaves the Drummonds to become the housemother at a private girls’ school in upstate New York. And so The Facts of Life was born. At first we were shown the lives of a large group of 3crowdstudents at Eastland Academy (including a very young Molly Ringwald), but eventually the show focused on just four: rich girl Blair, tough girl Jo, funny girl Natalie, & Tootie, who spent most of the first season on roller skates. Facts was one of those sitcoms that didn’t shy away from heavier topics & issues that a typical teenager might face. It was also a very adaptable show, going with the flow of cast changes and realistically putting the four girls in different settings as they grew up. The show was never a ratings juggernaut but quietly stuck around for 9 solid seasons. More than 25 years after it left the air I can still sing (badly) the theme song. On the flip side we have what was intended to be a continuation of Three’s Company. Crowd had Jack Tripper settling down with a lovely stewardess and their relationship being constantly meddled in by her father. Not even the comedic brilliance of John Ritter could save Three’s A Crowd though. It wasn’t all that funny and the cast just never seemed to gel in the way that its predecessor’s had. Three’s A Crowd lasted just one season.

 

 

6 Best – Knots Landing      Worst – Joanie Loves Chachi
knotsPrime time soap operas were a big thing in the 80’s & 90’s. Dallas and Dynasty were the kings of the genre and forerunners tochachi shows like Beverly Hills 90210, Melrose Place, & Desperate Housewives. During the third season of Dallas Jock & Miss Ellie’s middle son Gary Ewing & his estranged wife Val (parents of Lucy Ewing Cooper) reunite and move to a cul-de-sac in California. Friendships, rivalries, business deals, & love affairs amongst the various neighbors were the basis of Knots, which was more grounded & realistic than its parent show but just as soapy. It lasted an astonishing 14 years and survived a plethora of cast changes as well as all manner of ratings competition. Conversely, Joanie Loves Chachi did not last anywhere near as long. The idea was that the Happy Days lovebirds relocate to Chicago to pursue a music career. But without Ritchie, Fonzie, Potsie, and Mr. & Mrs. C the twosome just weren’t all that interesting. The show was cancelled after two years and Joanie & Chachi made their way back to Milwaukee for Happy Days’ final season.

 

 

5 Best – Gomer Pyle, USMC      Worst – The Golden Palace
gomerI was fortunate enough to grow up in the 70’s & 80’s when syndicated reruns of popular shows from the 60’s like The Beverly palaceHillbillies, Hogan’s Heroes, The Brady Bunch, Gilligan’s Island, The Munsters, Batman, The Addams Family, & Bewitched were shown on television a lot. Thank God I was provided the opportunity to appreciate such classic programs that had originally aired long before I was born. One of those shows was a fish-out-of-water spinoff of The Andy Griffith Show that saw dimwitted but good-natured mechanic Gomer Pyle leave Mayberry and enlist in the Marines. Gomer’s contentious relationship with drill instructor Sgt. Carter was hilarious and his penchant for inadvertently screwing up drove many of the plots. NBC’s The Golden Palace was, much like Three’s A Crowd, a failed money driven attempt at prolonging a show that had run its course. When Bea Arthur decided that she wanted to leave The Golden Girls after its seventh season the powers-that-be simply had Blanche, Sophia, & Rose buy a Miami hotel and build a show around their interactions with the establishment’s staff & guests. Not the worst idea in the world I suppose, but it’s hard to catch lightning in a bottle twice and the concept just didn’t work. The Golden Palace was cancelled after one season but is notable for being one of the early entries on the resume of actor Don Cheadle. The Golden Girls did launch a more successful spinoff called Empty Nest about a doctor and his two grown daughters.

 

 

4 Best – Laverne & Shirley     Worst – Saved by the Bell: The College Years
lsJoanie Loves Chachi may have been a bust, but Happy Days did have two successful spinoffs. I liked Mork & Mindy and became a huge Robin Williams fan, but it just doesn’t quite make the cut for our current purposes. However, Laverne & Shirley most Saved-Bell-College_400definitely deserves a spot. It retained the 1950’s Milwaukee setting of its parent show but otherwise stood out on its own merits. The supporting cast (Lenny & Squiggy, “The Big Ragu” Carmine Ragusa, Laverne’s father Phil & his gal pal Edna) was solid. Laverne & Shirley isn’t one of the greatest shows in the history of television and it kind of limped to a finish in its final two years (the entire cast inexplicably relocated to California together…as if that is realistic…and Cindy Williams, aka Shirley, isn’t even around during the last season), but amongst spinoffs it has to be considered a tremendous success. The prime time spinoff of Saturday morning staple Saved by the Bell, on the other hand, can’t be called successful by any metric one could possibly use. Now let’s be honest…the original show wasn’t a high water mark of artistry or excellence. But for what it was…a Saturday morning show meant to appeal to teenagers…it did the trick. The problem with shows set in high school (besides the fact that the powers-that-be always seem to cast 25 year olds to portray characters that are supposed to be a decade younger) is the fact that they should realistically only last 4 years. What to do with a successful (i.e. profitable) show after that?? Follow the kids to college of course!! It’s been done multiple times and almost always bombs. In this case only half the cast moved on to the spinoff and characters were added (most notably a dorm advisor played by former NFL player Bob Golic) that just didn’t pan out. The other issue was that for some odd reason The College Years aired in primetime instead of Saturday morning. Big mistake. The show only lasted one season. I should mention that I didn’t forget about Saved by the Bell: The New Class (although I wish I could) but chose to aim my scorn & derision at The College Years if only because the original cast should have known better.

 

 

3 Best – The Jeffersons      Worst – Mayberry RFD
jeffersons-castI am a little too young to remember the sociopolitical climate of the mid-1970’s, but I do remember that at the time black folks were still being portrayed in pop culture as poor, uneducated, & usually living in the ghetto. Shows like Good Times, Sanford & Son, & What’s Happening! all seemed to…unintentionally…perpetuate a stereotype that African-Americans (a term I don’t particularly rfdlike…we are all Americans) are doomed to a struggling blue collar existence in “the projects”. Diff’rent Strokes was about two orphaned boys that only make it out of Harlem because a rich white man adopts them. Even Saturday morning cartoon Fat Albert had the kids hanging out in an inner city junkyard. But George & Weezie Jefferson were different. George owned a chain of dry cleaning stores. They lived “in a deluxe apartment in the sky” (after they’d moved from Queens where they were neighbors of Archie Bunker and thusly spun off from All in the Family). They had a maid and a doorman. The Jeffersons showed that The American Dream is accessible to everyone. It is a formula that was later followed by shows like The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Family Matters, and especially The Cosby Show. On the other side of the coin we have Mayberry RFD, a show still set in Mayberry but missing key elements like Sheriff Andy, Barney Fife, and little Opie. To be fair many of the supporting characters from TAGS were a part of the spinoff. Aunt Bea, Goober, Howard Sprague, & Clara Edwards were all in the cast. However, Ken Berry (who would go on to play the hilariously dimwitted Vinton on Mama’s Family in the 80’s) as farmer & town councilman Sam Jones was a poor substitute for Andy Griffith. Mayberry RFD…in my opinion…didn’t differentiate itself enough from its parent show and instead was a watered down copycat. The show had solid ratings but was cancelled after three seasons as CBS tried to overhaul its image and distance themselves from rural themed shows like Green Acres, Petticoat Junction, & Hee Haw.

 

 

2 Best – Star Trek: The Next Generation     Worst – The Love Boat: The Next Wave
TNGOftentimes spinoffs have a “backdoor pilot” within the parent series and usually run either concurrently or immediately following the demise of the original. TNG is odd in that it premiered nearly two decades after the cancellation of TOS. What the two shows…set a century apart…have in common are the starship Enterprise and really cool tales of space exploration and adventure. TNG gets the formula exactly right. There is a certain amount of familiarity that makes the viewer feel as if we are revisiting an old friend, but the characters are not at all carbon copies of their predecessors. Captains Kirk and Picard couldn’t be more different. Doctors McCoy and Crusher are nothing alike. Engineers Scotty and Geordi LaForge?? No. Spock & Data?? Well…maybe just a little bit but not really. As a trifling Trekkie I must say that the TOS movie franchise was far superior to the tepid TNG films, but as far as the TV shows go the spinoff gives the original a real run for its money. I didn’t really follow any of the other Trek shows that came after, but I loved The Next Generation. Conversely, I, like the majority of the population, barely recall that The Love Boat had a spinoff. The Love Boat was a product of its time. It’s not going to rank anywhere near the best television shows, but as Saturday night comfort food in the 1980’s it boatworked well enough to last a decade. But the spinoff had a few issues that it couldn’t overcome. First off it debuted over a decade after the original bid us a fond bon voyage. That kind of delay may have worked for Star Trek: TNG but that is the exception to the rule. Secondly The Next Wave aired on UPN, a network that only lasted a decade (in comparison to CBS, ABC, & NBC that have all been around since the dawn of television), never offered a full prime time schedule, and only had mild hits including forgettable shows like Moesha and Veronica Mars. Now I’m not saying that The Next Wave would have been successful on a real network, but it never had a chance on UPN. And much like Mayberry RFD the spinoff tried too hard to be exactly like the original only with actors and characters that couldn’t hold a candle to their predecessors. The concept…perfectly acceptable in the 80’s…was far too trite for the edgier 1990’s. The Next Wave lasted two seasons only because UPN had no better options.

 

 

1 Best - Frasier     Worst – AfterMASH
frasierThere are many people that are of the opinion that Frasier actually outdid its parent show Cheers. That’s a fun little debate, but amongst spinoffs Frasier stands alone. Rather than try to replicate its predecessor the show took the titular character of Dr. Frasier Crane and transplanted him to a completely new setting and surrounded him with a whole new cast of supporting players that weren’t anything like the bar crowd on Cheers. Dr. Crane himself developed quite nicely as a character without undergoing any drastic changes from what we knew of him as a recurring bit player on the original show. About the only thing the two shows have in common is the superb writing that made me fall in love with both. Frasier is such a good show that it probably would have found an audience and been a ratings success on its own merits, but having a built-in audience of faithful Cheers viewers certainly helped it get off on the right foot though. However the tone of the two shows are so vastly different that I’d be willing to bet that there were a decent amount of Cheers fans that tuned out after realizing the spinoff wasn’t going to blindly follow the trail blazed by its forerunner. If that’s true then Frasier deserves even more kudos for building an audience and lasting 11 seasons…just as many as Cheers. Now when one considers the success of Frasier then it is fair ponder the question of why AfterMASH was such an epic failure (other than its stupid & uncreative title). Afterall, it tried the same thing…transplanting characters from one show and spinning them off into a show that had a totally different setting & tone. So what was the difference?? Well, for one ting AfterMASH took Col. Potter, Cpl. Klinger, & Father Mulcahy from The Korean War to working together at a aftermashhospital in Missouri. Whereas Frasier relocated one character in a totally logical way (he moved back to his hometown to be near his family) AfterMASH clunkily reunited three characters in a completely unbelievable manner. It just didn’t work. Otherwise there are a lot of possible explanations. If TV industry people knew why some shows failed and some were smash hits they’d run for political office and fix the nation’s more important problems. AfterMASH actually had decent ratings in its inaugural season (I am assuming due to curiosity from loyal MASH fans) but then crashed & burned in its second season in part due to brutal competition from The A-Team. But if that were the only issue they could have just put it in a new time slot. I think people were just over their MASH love and ready to move forward. The writing and storytelling obviously wasn’t compelling enough for folks to stick around, and when those things aren’t good no amount of nostalgia will keep a show alive. Not only is AfterMASH probably the worst spinoff of all time but it is largely remembered as one of the worst television shows in general.

2014 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 6

Last week both Zach & I went 3-2. We both whiffed on Carolina/Baltimore, where our disdain for the Ravens may have clouded our judgment a bit. Conversely we both correctly picked Maryland over Indiana and the Packers over the Bears. Zach was spot on in his assessment of Texas A&M/Arkansas, as the Aggies needed overtime to finish off the Razorbacks and didn’t cover the double digit spread, while I correctly chose the 49ers over the Eagles. For the season that leaves the numbers looking thusly:

Me = 12-14
Zach = 12-13

As for this week, your humble Potentate of Profundity is feeling frisky and you know what that means…bonus picks!! We’re going with all college games because a) unlike last week there are a plethora of really good matchups and b) the NFL has become inundated with sociopolitical correctness, thuggery, & general stupidity that I find exhausting and has really lessened my passion as a fan. No worries though…we’ll pick some pro games next week.

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Arizona at Oregon (-23)
First of all, as much as I loathe to admit it, I rather enjoy watching Coach Fraudriguez’s Wildcats. They beat California on a last second hail mary a couple of weeks ArizonaWildcatsago. Two previous games…against Nevada & Texas-San Antonio…weren’t decided until late in the 4th quarter. And of course the Ducks are almost always a lot of fun to watch, even when they are destroying their opponents. Both teams come into this game 4-0, though Oregon is #2 in the polls and Arizona is puzzlingly unranked. #1 Florida St. seems to have its share of doubters, so I don’t think it is out of the question that Oregon could eventually take over the top spot even if both teams continue winning. As for this game, I’d be surprised to see the Ducks lose, especially at home. However I am really uncomfortable with the spread. Oregon only beat Michigan St. by 19 a few weeks ago and I think Arizona has the potential to be even more potent offensively than the 9th ranked Spartans, a team that is averaging 50 points/game. Zach concurs.

My Pick = Arizona
Z’s Pick = Arizona

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Texas A&M at Mississippi St. (-2)
texas_am_01I have to believe that if the Aggies hadn’t almost been defeated by Arkansas last weekend that they’d be favored here despite being the road MSU Matte M-Wteam. It looks like that game has the folks in Vegas a bit spooked. The Bulldogs have snuck up on everyone who were busy heaping praise on their in-state rivals…a team we’ll get to a little later. On paper this looks like a classic trap game…a road team coming off a victory in which they struggled vs. the home team that just pulled off a huge upset over a highly ranked conference rival (LSU). Both teams still seemingly have a lot to prove. The vibes are telling me to pick the underdogs, and y’all know I am a slave to my vibes. Zach likes Mississippi St.’s defense and thinks they win easily.

My Pick = Texas A&M
Z’s Pick = Mississippi St.

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Virginia Tech (-2.5) at North Carolina
When doing the pre-season rankings I predicted that the ACC’s Coastal Division would go to Tech despite all the talking heads heaping praise on Miami, FL and Virginia_Tech_Hokies2North Carolina. Here is where the rubber meets the road on that forecast. Neither team is setting the world on fire. The Hokies are 3-2 and the Tar Heels are 2-2. However the conference schedule is just beginning. It is telling that UNC isn’t favored despite being the home team. As things so often do with Virginia Tech I suspect this will be a game decided by turnovers and special teams. They usually win those battles. Zach…I think…literally flipped a coin and picked the Hokies. Hey, it’s as legit a method as any.

My Pick = Virginia Tech
Z’s Pick = Virginia Tech

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Alabama (-6) at Ole Miss
Not only is the media shaky in its support of #1 Florida St., but they also don’t seem to have much faith in the Crimson Tide despite the fact that they are 4-0 and AlabamaCrimsonTide2haven’t really broken a sweat yet. Alabama beating my WVU Mountaineers by only 10 points instead of five touchdowns really bothered people for some reason. Meanwhile, the Rebels were recipients of much pre-season hype from everyone but me and have lived up to expectations so far. However, the total record of Mississippi’s four previous opponents is only 7-11. The combination of Ole Miss being vastly overrated and ‘Bama probably getting just a bit tired of people questioning their dominance in all likelihood means a very long day for the underdogs. I wouldn’t be shocked if the Tide rolls by 30+ points. Zach concurs.

My Pick = Alabama
Z’s Pick = Alabama

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Stanford (-2.5) at Notre Dame
Stanford_logoI am far too lazy to do any research but I’d guess it is a rarity for the Irish to be underdogs at home. Stanford is a very quiet…and deceiving…3-1. NotreDame1Their only loss was at home against rival USC by a field goal with two minutes remaining in the game. Admittedly their three wins haven’t been against elite competition either, but I still think the Cardinals (yes…I add the s because not adding the s is stupid) are a very good team that people might be overlooking in a stacked Pac 12. The Irish are 4-0 but haven’t beaten anyone yet which is probably why they are the underdogs. Oddsmakers are much more intellectually honest than pollsters. At any rate, I’ll take any opportunity I can to pick against Notre Dame as long as it makes logical sense. Zach finds Stanford boring and is all in on the Irish.

My Pick = Stanford
Z’s Pick = Notre Dame

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LSU at Auburn (-8)
Last weekend the Bayou Bengals rebounded from a tough loss at home to Mississippi St. and now stand at 4-1, although the only victory that really meant much lsu_logo-9547was the season opening win versus Wisconsin. This will be the first true away game for LSU. Meanwhile, Auburn is following up its superb 2013 season with another impressive campaign. I ranked the Tigers 24th in my pre-season rankings and still think they could end up there due to their brutal second half of the season schedule, but thus far they are a Top 5 team and in the thick of the national playoff conversation. I’m going to go way out on a limb and predict the upset. Zach concurs.

My Pick = LSU
Z’s Pick = LSU

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Nebraska at Michigan State (-8.5)
nebraskaI am looking forward to this being what pro wrestling announcer Jim Ross might call a slobberknocker. The Cornhuskers come into the gameMichigan-State 5-0 but this will undoubtedly be their toughest test to date. The Spartans fell to the 2nd ranked Oregon Ducks and have three victories over junior high teams to stand at 3-1. I’m not surprised that Michigan St. gets the home field bump, but 8 ½ points does seem a bit much. I think this is going to be a toss-up, the kind of close game that doesn’t get decided until late in the 4th quarter with special teams making the difference in some capacity. No matter who wins I don’t think it will be by more than a touchdown. Zach likes Michigan St.’s defense and doesn’t think the Spartans will have any problem covering the points.

My Pick = Nebraska
Z’s Pick = Michigan St.

Points of Ponderation…..Episode 4.14

A semi-regular attempt to address some of life’s minutiae that might otherwise be overlooked…..

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coffeeThere was a recent controversy involving President Obama saluting a marine while holding a coffee cup in his right hand. Not surprisingly idiotic liberals (which is a redundancy) rushed to Obama’s defense like they’d run toward their child if heavy traffic was bearing down upon them. Their whiny little defense?? “But look…George W. Bush did the same thing!!”. The problem with that?? They are wrong (as usual)…Bush did NOT do the same thing. The photo liberals showed was of President Bush holding his dog in his left hand while saluting a soldier with his right. Sorry folks, but it’s just not the same. If you are one of the morons who posted that comparison somewhere online please don’t procreate because you’re retarded. First of all, Bush still saluted with his empty right hand as is the proper custom. It doesn’t matter what he was holding in his left hand. Secondly, what Bush was holding in his left hand was his dog. To equate a living breathing thing like a pet to a cup of coffee is just ignorant. One comment I saw comparing Bush to Obama summed it up perfectly: “One juggles a heavy dog in order to not disrespect the soldiers greeting his arrival on the tarmac and the other can’t be bothered to shift his coffee to the other hand in order to do the same. One made eye contact and smiled whenever possible when bushgreeting the troops, the other struts by them as if they don’t exist.” Exactly. Debates about this issue predictably disintegrated into accusations of racism, the automatic fallback option for liberals when they don’t have logic or truth on their side (so basically they use it all the time). Eventually I had to force myself to step away from these arguments to keep my sanity and because, to be honest, I’m not very nice when I get angry about these issues. You want to know why America is going to Hell in a handbasket?? Look no further than Washington DC and the 51% of Americans who voted this pathetic evil dirtbag into office. I just hope that we elect someone in 2016 who doesn’t hate everything our nation once stood for and that can undo all the damage that’s been done in the previous 8 years.

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More Pickup Lines:
I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.laugh

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Girl, are you wi-fi? Cause I’m feeling the connection.

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If you were a steak you would be well done.

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Are your parents retarded? ‘Cause you sure are special.

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I’ve had quite a bit to drink, and you’re beginning to look pretty good.

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Can I follow you home? My parents always told me to follow my dreams.

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If I could be anything, I’d love to be your bathwater.

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You smell like trash. May I take you out?

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If I were a gardener, I’d put your tulips and my tulips together.

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There’s this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn’t go by myself.

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If I was a Jedi, would you be my force?

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iphone6_2988853bI haven’t upgraded my iPhone from the 5 to the 6 just yet, mainly due to economic considerations but also because I’m not all that sure it is necessary. Okay the new one is bigger…so what?? Is that it?? I might just wait until the 7 comes out, which I am assuming will be atleast two more years. Come on Apple…wow me.

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Only a couple of episodes have aired, but I’m hooked on the new TV show Gotham. The show focuses on the early years of James Gordon’s career as gothama cop in gritty & menacing Gotham City and introduces us to fledgling & decidedly un-cartoonish incarnations of some of Batman’s infamous foes. Batman fans definitely need to check out the show, but I think it can be enjoyed even by those who aren’t dedicated diehards of The Caped Crusader. Donal Logue is particularly enthralling in his portrayal of Harvey Bullock, a hardscrabble, ethically challenged cop that hasn’t been depicted in any of the big screen Batman movies. Gotham may share traits with your typical dime-a-dozen police procedural, but its well-known backstory and distinct style set it apart from all the CSIs, Law & Orders, & NCISs. The show airs on Monday nights on Fox, which makes me a little nervous. Fox is known to pull the plug pretty quickly on underperforming programs, and the competition (The Big Bang Theory, WWE Raw, Monday Night Football, The Voice) is fierce. I know my DVR is getting a workout. I am confident though that the ratings will be strong enough for Gotham to survive and be a solid show that entertains me for many years to come.

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judgeNormally I am a strict constructionist when it comes to The Constitution. However, I think maybe we should ponder the idea of age limits for the legislative & judicial branches of government. Would you trust your 90 year old grandparents to make significant decisions that affect an entire nation??

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Another recent debate, although lower key and pretty much confined to online “conversations”, was about an intellectually confusionvacant waitress in Texas who says that Rush Limbaugh once tipped her $2000 and that since she considered it “blood money” and Rush “evil incarnate” she donated the cash to a pro-abortion charity (that she coincidentally worked for as well). This is all happened several years ago but is coming out now because the woman (who I will not name…no sense in giving an imbecile free publicity) has written her first novel. Well good for her. Congratulations. But let us consider the irony of a person rejecting “blood money” only to give it to an organization that funds abortions. Really?? It has always intrigued me the extent that liberals are willing to go to protect “a woman’s right to choose” what she does “with her own body”. My question has always been “What about the child’s body??”. There are millions of couples out there desperate to adopt a baby. If a person doesn’t want their child…for whatever reason…then why not give that baby the gift of life and those folks unable to biologically conceive a child the opportunity they desire to be parents?? It’s a win-win for everyone. The almost pathological need for pro-“choice” advocates to murder innocent babies is disturbing and quite frankly I’m sick of trying to be polite about it.

2014 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 5

Friends I have done something this week that was very difficult for a control freak to do. But before I go into that let me mention that last week I went 2-3, which wasn’t a huge shock and an outcome that I am not particularly upset about. I knew that picking against both the Alabama Crimson Tide and Seattle Seahawks was risky and unfortunately it didn’t pan out. Zach also went 2-3 although he got there in a slightly different way. So for the season so far it looks like this:

Me = 9-12
Zach = 9-11

For the first time ever I let Zach pick the games this week. It is pretty slim pickins’, especially on the college level. There aren’t even any interesting west coast games to look forward to Saturday night. However, I think he came up with a good assemblage of games from the lackluster crop from which he had to choose.

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Maryland at Indiana (-3)
The Terrapins are 3-1 but haven’t beaten anyone. Their most impressive game was a close loss to my WV Mountaineers. Conversely the Hoosiers are 2-1 but university-of-maryland-terrapinscoming off an impressive upset of Missouri in Columbia. Are they really that good?? Will there be a hangover after such a big victory?? Indiana has the slight home field advantage, but based solely on what I saw (well okay…heard on the radio…we don’t get The Big Ten Network here in Appalachia) when Maryland played WVU I’m going to pick the Terps. Zach isn’t buying the Missouri game as any kind of indicator that Indiana is actually a decent football team and thinks Maryland will roll.

My Pick = Maryland
Z’s Pick = Maryland

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Arkansas vs Texas A&M (-10.5)
texas_am_01I have to be honest…I really thought the Aggies would struggle a bit after the departure of Johnny Football, but I was wrong. Thus far they razorhave looked unstoppable in the course of going 4-0, destroying their opponents by an average margin of victory of 46 points. Meanwhile, the Razorbacks are a mildly impressive 3-1, having lost their opener to Auburn. This is a neutral site game being played at The Palace in Dallas, approximately three hours from College Station, TX and 5 hours from Fayetteville, AR. I’d be really surprised if Arkansas wins this game and I don’t think it’ll be all that competitive. Covering the spread shouldn’t be an issue for A&M. Conversely, not only does Zach believe this wil be a close game but he thinks Arkansas might actually win.

My Pick = Texas A&M
Z’s Pick = Arkansas

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Green Bay at Chicago (-3)
Packers QB Aaron Rodgers is telling the good folks in Green Bay to relax after their tepid 1-2 start. He’s probably right, but let me say this to Mr. Rodgers: I have youGreen_Bay_Packers_Helmet and a couple of your teammates on some of my various fantasy teams so you better GET THE LEAD OUT!! Okay…I feel better now. The 2-1 Bears have the home field but I’m going to go with the underdogs. I predicted them to go 13-3 and make it to The Super Bowl in my NFL Preview and I can’t abandon that idea just yet. Zach also has faith that Green Bay will work out the kinks and get back on track in this contest. Don’t let us down Rodgers!!

My Pick = Green Bay
Z’s Pick = Green Bay

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Philadelphia at San Francisco (-4)
10517112-san-francisco-49ersThis should be a really good game. The Eagles are 3-0 although it hasn’t been easy. The 49ers are 1-2 and certainly don’t look like the same eaglesteam that has been to three straight NFC title games and lost the Super Bowl just two years ago. I’m a little bit surprised that ‘Frisco is favored even if they are playing at home. That being said, I don’t think any team stands a chance of going undefeated and this is probably as good of an opportunity for Philly to be knocked off their perch as any. Zach is even more surprised than me about the spread and thinks that the Eagles’ explosive offense will lead them to victory.

My Pick = San Francisco
Z’s Pick = Philadelphia

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Carolina at Baltimore (-3)
Both teams come into this game with identical 2-1 records and haven’t looked especially terrible or particularly impressive. Therefore I really can’t get a good read on CarolinaPantherseither one quite yet. I don’t think any of the off-the-field stupidity circling around Baltimore has had any kind of significant negative effect on the team’s efforts. My Steelers showed the blueprint for beating the Panthers…good old-fashioned smashmouth football. Eat the clock and keep Carolina QB Cam Newton off the field. But do the Ravens have the horses to pull that off?? I’m going to roll the dice and go with the underdogs. Zach concurs and predicts the Panthers will win by a field goal.

My Pick = Carolina
Z’s Pick = Carolina

2014 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 4

I am so mad at myself. Sometimes something is so obviously staring one right in the face that we too easily look past it. Such was the case last week. There was a fantastic opportunity for me to go 5-0, which I think would have been the very first time in three years that has happened. I am far too lazy to research the archives in order to verify that fact. At any rate, instead I ended up going 3-2. Why?? Well, first of all, the Green Bay Packers only beat the NY Jets by 7 points. The spread was 8. That one wasn’t so much my fault as it was a Packers team who basically phoned it in and may have actually lost were it not for the inexplicable ineptitude of the Jets coaching staff. Then there was the major upset…the San Diego Chargers defeating the Seattle Seahawks. I should have seen it coming. There was no way the Seahawks were going to go undefeated. That just doesn’t happen. I am the guy who said in my NFL Preview that “Super Bowl Champions oftentimes slip a little the following season” while predicting a rather pedestrian 10-6 record for Seattle. At the same time I called the Chargers “sneaky good” and also predicted a 10-6 record as well as a playoff berth. The Seahawks had dismantled Green Bay in the opening game of the season while San Diego lost a heartbreaker to the Arizona Cardinals. Seattle-San Diego was a home game for the Chargers & a classic trap game for the Seahawks, and they fell into the trap. I should have seen it coming but I didn’t. The good news for me is that while I went 3-2 Zach went 1-4, which means our season thus far looks like this:

Me = 7-9
Zach = 7-8

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Iowa at Pitt (-6.5)
iowaI ranked Iowa 14th in my pre-season Top 25, but after a last second loss to in-state rival Iowa pittSt. they have some work to do if they’re going to fulfill that prophecy. Meanwhile, the hated Pitt Panthers have gotten off to a solid 3-0 start, including a victory at Boston College. Heinz Field isn’t much of a home advantage for the Panthers since there are usually only a few dozen people there on Saturdays, including vendors and homeless people hoping to score some scraps from discarded Primanti Brothers wrappers. Most folks in The ‘Burgh wait to spend their hard earned money on Sunday at the Steelers game. Pitt seems like they may be the real deal, but who knows?? I think this will be a close game and it is undoubtedly pivotal to both teams’ seasons. I’m going to support my own pre-season prediction by going with the Hawkeyes. Using the logic that Boston College beat USC and Pitt beat Boston College so therefore Pitt must be a legitimately good team (which actually does make sense) Zach is picking the Panthers to pound the ball with their rushing attack and win easily.

My Pick = Iowa
Z’s Pick = Pitt

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Florida at Alabama (-14.5)
Where is the love for ‘Bama?? Are we just so use to them being a top team that we don’t even feel the need to discuss themflorida gators image anymore?? Is there a bit of Tide fatigue amongst the masses?? The answer is probably yes on both counts. However, this game should receive a fair amount of attention. Florida isn’t back to its Spurrier/Urban Meyer heyday just yet, but they are 2-0. Yes it took them 3 overtimes to beat Kentucky last week. I think they may have been looking ahead just a bit. Anyway, if this game were at The Swamp it’d be really intriguing, but alas it is in Tuscaloosa. Therefore I believe there is probably not much of a doubt that Alabama will win. The question is by how much?? I am probably going to regret this, but I guess maybe I am one of the doubters. I think the Tide rolls, but by less than 14 ½ points. Zach has a man crush on Nick Saban but agrees with my assessment that this will be a close game.

My Pick = Florida
Z’s Pick = Florida

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Clemson at Florida St. (-20)
There are no shortage of folks who already have had the #1 ranked Seminoles on upset alert. They were less than clemsonimpressive in a season opening victory over Oklahoma St., a game in which the Cowboys narrowed their deficit to within a touchdown with 2 minutes remaining but ran out of time to make anything else happen. Add in the fact that Florida St.’s quarterback, Heisman Trophy winner, upstanding citizen, scholar, gentleman, & all around class act Jameis Winston is suspended for the first half of this game because he is a moron. Meanwhile, the Tigers are 1-1 after a season opening loss to Georgia followed by dismantling an overmatched junior high team last week. I honestly don’t know how Clemson is still in anyone’s Top 25. They certainly haven’t earned such accolades. However, that could change with this game. Heck, if the game were being played at Memorial Stadium in South Carolina I might actually give them a puncher’s chance to win. However, it is in Tallahassee. The point spread does concern me just a bit. Florida St. has put up only 37 points in each of its first two contests. I think Clemson will be overmatched but motivated, while I am not sure the apprehension of the doubters has reached enough of a crescendo for Florida St. to pay much attention…yet. Zach not only agrees but is boldly predicting an outright Clemson victory. That boy has a set of brass ones. He gets it from his mother’s side of the family.

My Pick = Clemson
Z’s Pick = Clemson

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Denver at Seattle (-5)
For anyone who may have been hiding out in one of those bomb shelters from the 60’s recently, this is a rematch of last denverseason’s Super Bowl. In that game the Seahawks’ defense made living legend Peyton Manning look like…well…Eli Manning and cruised to a 43-8 victory that was even more underwhelming than Bruno Mars’ halftime show. But the beauty of the NFL is that every season is new and teams can change…both for the good and the not so good…at the drop of a hat. The Broncos made notable improvements to their defense, while Seattle lost a few pieces, although I don’t think it’s had a significant impact so far. Adding intrigue to this game is the fact that the defending champions, as previously mentioned, were upset last week. Could they really lose two games in a row?? Is Denver as good as their 2-0 record indicates?? The revenge factor for the Broncos cannot be overlooked, but neither can the anger of the Seahawks after a tough loss. This is a hard game to figure out, but I’m going to roll the dice on Manning and go with the underdogs. Zach concurs.

My Pick = Denver
Z’s Pick = Denver

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Chicago at NY Jets (-2.5)
Jets-Pin-ProThe Bears spoiled the opening of their brand new stadium for the San Francisco 49ers last chicago-bears-logo13Sunday night and looked pretty good in doing it, especially in the 4th quarter. But let us not forget that they lost their season opener at home in three OTs to the Buffalo Bills. The Jets are 1-1 as well. So basically no one really knows what to expect in this game. New York gets the nominal home field advantage but I’m not sure that means much. This is the story of two quarterbacks. The Bears’ Jay Cutler is, in my opinion, overrated. The Jets’ Geno Smith…a former WV Mountaineer…has potential and occasionally shows flashes but has been disappointing to some. I look for this to be a defensive battle defined by turnovers and lots of smashmouth football. Which QB will make the least mistakes?? Which one will make a blunder at the worst possible time?? Whose running game will dominate?? This is the Monday night game so I suppose I’ll stay up past my bedtime to find out. In a flip of the proverbial coin I’m going with the Jets. Zach disagrees and is picking the Bears.

My Pick = NY Jets
Z’s Picks = Chicago

2014 Pigskin Picks of Profundity…..Week 3

Better late than never. Simmer down. No worries. Our first game doesn’t kick off until 10pm EST Saturday night.

There are few things more frustrating than being right and still losing. However, when I began doing these picks I decided that it would be far too prosaic to just do straight win/lose, that the element of the point spread had to be incorporated to increase the complexity of the challenge. Unfortunately, as I am sure hardcore gamblers know all too well, this also means that sometimes the spread can reach up and bite one in the butt. Such was the case last week when the Denver Broncos beat the Indianapolis Colts by 7 points instead of 7 ½ points. Even more infuriating is the fact that at one point the Broncos led the game 24-7. Denver letting their foot off the gas resulted in a loss for me and a win for Zach, making me 2-3 for the week and him 3-2. I am rather competitive so this kind of ticks me off. Thanks a lot Peyton Manning. At any rate I suppose I just need to move on and hope for better things this week. The season thus far shapes up like this:

Me = 4-7
Zach = 6-4

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Nebraska (-10.5) at Fresno St.
The Huskers barely escaped what would have been a devastating loss to 1-AA (I kick it old school) McNeese St. last week. Meanwhile, the normally solid & nebraska-cornhuskersentertaining Bulldogs come into this game 0-2, having been hammered by an average of 35 points. Double digit spreads make me nervous, but I’ll go with the favorites here. Zach thinks Nebraska will win by 4 TDs.

My Pick – Nebraska
Z’s Pick – Nebraska

 

 

Nevada at Arizona (-15.5)
nevadaThe Wolfpack are one of those teams that no one likes to play. They are usually a solid bowl team and seem to play “bigger” teams tough, pulling off the occasionalcollege_arizona_90 upset. They did go 4-8 in 2013, but come into this game 2-0, including an impressive victory over the PAC 12’s Washington St. Cougars last week. The Wildcats….as much as it physically & emotionally hurts me to say it…have been pretty decent under head coach Rich Fraudriguez and come into this game 2-0 as well, although they had a difficult time defeating Texas-San Antonio last week. It is likely that Arizona holds serve on its home field this week, but the large point spread gives me pause. For that reason I’m going to pick Nevada. Zach, apparently unware of Nevada’s 2-0 record, thinks they suck and reluctantly picks Arizona, even though he hates their coach as much as I do.

My Pick – Nevada
Z’s Pick – Arizona

 

 

Miami at Buffalo (even)
Buffalo_Bills_HelmetNo result from the first week of NFL action was as shocking to me as the Dolphins upsetting the New England Patriots. But the Bills pulled off Miami_Dolphins_Helmeta pretty big surprise themselves by beating the Chicago Bears. Now look, let’s be honest…the Patriots are still winning the division. However, both of these teams (as well as the New York Jets) ae looking to make the jump up to a solid wildcard contender that wins 9 or 10 games. This game will tell us a lot about both teams. The folks in Vegas seem to think they are evenly matched, which both simplifies and complicates things. I’m going with Buffalo because of the home field advantage. Zach doesn’t believe that Miami’s victory last week was a fluke and believes they will be a serious playoff contender.

My Pick – Buffalo
Z’s Pick – Miami

 

 

Seattle (-5.5) at San Diego
The defending Super Bowl champions looked quite impressive in their season debut, soundly defeating the Green Bay Packers. Meanwhile, the Chargers lost a seattle-seahawks1heartbreaker last week to the Arizona Cardinals. As much as I’d love to go with the underdogs here I just can’t pull the trigger. I thought Seattle might ease off the throttle and fall back just a little bit this season, but so far that prediction looks like it might be wrong. Zach concurs.

My Pick – Seattle
Z’s Pick – Seattle

 

 

NY Jets at Green Bay (-8)
The Packers began the season on the receiving end of the previously mentioned beatdown at the hands of the Seahawks. The Jets took care of the Oakland Green_Bay_Packers_HelmetRaiders. I like Green Bay to rebound here, especially in the friendly confines of the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field. The points are a bit much for my taste, but if Aaron Rodgers and the Packers offense are firing on all cylinders it shouldn’t be a problem. Zach agrees.

My Pick – Green Bay
Z’s Pick – Green Bay